S07.E10: Choose Your Battles

[FanOfTheFans]

I think most of us on this forum agree that Adam is a sad excuse for a father. I totally understand Chelsea's frustration with his nonchalant attitude concerning Aubrey. He is emotionally damaging that child. Having said that, Chelsea has to stop with constant comparisons to Cole and questioning Aubrey because she too is damaging her with that behavior. No matter how much she may try to explain the situations to her to ease her disappointment, kids still internalize and will take the blame. The message she gets is that she is not good enough for her Dad's attention. This will blow up big time when the teen years roll around. 

[lezlers]

1 hour ago, poopchute said:

But they are going to be a familyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

Well, they are.   I don't think anyone would snark on a random engaged couple having their last name or initial displayed somewhere in their home.  It's not like Jenelle putting something like that two weeks after meeting her latest soulmate.

[DangerousMinds]

A familyyyyyyyyyyyyuhhhh

[neatoburrito]

I will happily snark on anyone on this show and I'm not even remotely sorry for it.

[Phoebe70]

It just caught me as odd that there was a D and not at least an H too.  Not trying to be snarky :)

[BitterApple]

47 minutes ago, Phoebe70 said:

It just caught me as odd that there was a D and not at least an H too.  Not trying to be snarky :)

Especially considering Chelsea owns the house and pays the mortgage. Cole didn't bring jack shit into the relationship besides a closet full of plaid shirts. I wish Chelsea would give herself a little more credit and stop acting like her life was in the gutter before Cole came along. 

Edited May 27, 2016 by BitterApple

[evilmindatwork]

On May 26, 2016 at 6:27 AM, blubld43 said:

Corey did not change his mind.  The legal requirement in their state is that one parent is primary custodian, they do not recognize joint custody.  It is completely out of Corey's control, out of his lawyer's control, it's state law.

I believe they can legally share decision making for the girls, but only one parent can be named custodian.  This is yet another example of the Messer clan and their Leah-as-victim story line.

Yes, and if there's a statutory standard they have to follow, it's his lawyer's duty to make sure that their agreement conforms with state law. No one is being an asshole here, it's in everyone's interest to make sure the proper standards are followed-- Corey's attorney is being a competent attorney, this kind of thing can come back and bite you in the ass later if it's not taken care of. 

[jacksgirl]

I would think the "D" would be for "Daddy" Randilicious as much as Chelsea has relied on him over the past six plus years. I can totally see Chelsea practicing writing her name as Chelsea Deboer (sp) with the o being shaped liked a heart.

[Phoebe70]

3 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

I would think the "D" would be for "Daddy" Randilicious as much as Chelsea has relied on him over the past six plus years. I can totally see Chelsea practicing writing her name as Chelsea Deboer (sp) with the o being shaped liked a heart.

Love it!!  I think she practiced spelling her first name with his last name about a week after they met at that gas station.  LOL

[Abmis]

Maybe it's for Darla the pug.

[ghoulina]

19 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think Chelsea let it be up in the air, though.  All she had to do was tell him he has until X date to let her know if he can go to the dance, and that if she doesn't hear from him, she'll assume he can't.  Really, if a chief complaint of hers is that Adam never responds to texts, then make it so that it doesn't matter if he doesn't respond. 

All she has to tell Aubree is that she's checking with Adam to see if he can go.  If he doesn't respond by the deadline, then she tells Aubree he can't make it, so Cole is taking her.  If Aubree asks why he can't make it, Chelsea just says she doesn't know, but Cole is looking forward to it.

It makes it a little easier on Adam, which I'm sure Chelsea isn't interested in.  But it makes it a LOT easier on Chelsea, and it's better for Aubree not to be told that Adam didn't respond.  I wish those considerations would outweigh whatever investment she has in getting the same result but with Adam proving himself once again to be a dick.

Except Adumb has been known to just randomly show up at things without having said anything to Chelsea. I still remember the time he showed up at her house without notice to take Aubree somewhere. Of course Chelsea already had plans, so she had to be the "bad guy" and say no. I remember him just popping up other times, when they thought he wasn't coming. Then he'll actually say he'll be there and doesn't show. I don't think there's ANY way Chelsea could handle it that would ensure Adumb doesn't fuck up and Aubree isn't disappointed. This is all on him, IMO. 

 

18 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Something tells me that if MTV cameras had been allowed to film in the actual father/daughter dance, Adam would have been there. 

A-freaking-men! And he probably would have awkwardly brought some friend of his. Because he can't ever seem to hang out with his daughters without some sort of distraction. 

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, lezlers said:

Well, they are.   I don't think anyone would snark on a random engaged couple having their last name or initial displayed somewhere in their home.  It's not like Jenelle putting something like that two weeks after meeting her latest soulmate.

I don't think it's weird at all. They're engaged, she's likely going to take his last name. Maybe it was something he had hanging up on the walls in his old place? It's pretty normal to let the partner who is moving in hang some stuff of their own up.

[DNR]

If ADumb had showed to the dance because it was being filmed by MTV , I'm sure we'd have seen him dancing while staring at his cellphone.  I'll admit I'm more attached to my phone than I'd like to be too but he can't seem to manage to put it away during the minimal time he spends with Aubree.  I don't how he sleeps at nite ( like a baby I'm sure ) 

[gunderda]

On 5/25/2016 at 6:44 PM, charmed1 said:

Miranda may have been very nice in the little bit of time she's been on camera, but she's not above reproach and whatever she said to Ali clearly upset her. It most likely wasn't intentional, but Ali is entitled to her feelings and she's articulate enough to express them. It's the adults in this situation, namely Leah's stupid family, who handled this all wrong. Not the six year old.

Of course Ali is entitled to her feelings.  But adults don't have to cater to a kid's feelings all the time.  Kids get upset for various reasons.  Parents aren't allowed to snap at their kids and upset them once in awhile?

On 5/25/2016 at 8:59 PM, Lexie said:

 

But my point was that these new relationships might not work out and statistically they probably won't.   So I don't think it's a great idea to shove Cole into the daddy role so soon. Shoving Cole into that spot isn't necessarily the answer to how Aubree is probably going to have major daddy issues.   

It it doesn't really matter how you perceive javi vs Cole.  Kail was so sure at the time but things change sometimes too.  

But Kail and Javi have been together for 5ish years? (I don't know how long they were together before they got married - but she says they were married for 4).  That is 4-5 years that Chelsea was able to mature and find a nice stabile relationship.  To compare the two relationships is far fetched. 

On 5/25/2016 at 9:46 PM, Darknight said:

I don't understand why girls like Chelsea complain about their children's father. You chose him. You slept with him. Adam has been like this since they've been together. He's not going to change just because you had his kid. Girls with low self esteem get with guys hoping they'll change or hoping a baby will make him stay. It won't. Adam will never change. He's an asshole. Now Aubree will have to deal with his bullshit too. 

Because a lot of kids are shitheads at 16 years old.  But it's not too much of a reach to expect those shitheads to become competent adults. So when they don't, yes you can complain about them.  I'm sure Chelsea didn't expect Adam to be a dumbass his entire life. She didn't choose that. She has no control over that.

On 5/26/2016 at 8:35 AM, lezlers said:

Leah's definitely in a better position and it sounds as if Corey was just trying to communicate since he might not make the next appointment.

That's exactly what he did.  He said "IF I can't make it to the next appointment.... you need to tell the doctor....."  and Leah was the one that said "oh I guess I need to make an appointment then."  Corey didn't tell her to make an appointment, that was her own idea.  He was talking about the Ohio doctor.  Leah took Ali to a local doctor.

On 5/26/2016 at 11:49 AM, Lexie said:

It doesn't matter in the sense that we don't have control over manipulating children and alienating the fathers of these kids.   You can also feel free to ignore.  

also I'm inclined to believe that mtv does edit the fathers to look worse than they are.   They made sure to include Adam saying that they would edit him out when he said how he was edited unfairly on an aftershock but then apparently edited out jenelles boyfriend saying that he would beat his kid if she ruined his phone.   I don't think the dads are as bad as they seem and I also don't think the moms are the goody goodys that they are portrayed to be at times.   

I think they actually make Adam look better.  We've heard many reports that Adam is never around when they aren't filming.  He only comes around asking for visitation when the film crew is there. 

On 5/26/2016 at 0:24 PM, Katt said:

I see what Lemons is saying. Personally, I would nag the fuck out of the deadbeat dad in the hope my kid wouldn't be disappointed. At least I'd know I'd bloody tried my best in the situation.

But would you do it for SIX YEARS???  We know Chelsea nagged the crap out of him in previous years.  At some point you get fed up with it and you quit.  There is no shame in that.  I don't think anyone would do it continuously. 

23 hours ago, CofCinci said:

I can't speak for the OP, but I find the comment to be fair.  Look at how hard she held on to Adam --- like a desperate fool.  I was embarrassed for her just watching.  Chelsea is the type to have whatever guy wants her.

My brother stayed in an off and on relationship with his drug addict ex for 6 years solely because she was the mother of his children and he felt the kids needed their mother.  He was not and is not a desperate fool.  He was in his 30s and held a great job. 

We've seen it in almost all of these couples.  It's very hard for them to get over their ex.  It's just what happens.  It's not because any of them are desperate. 

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I don't think it's weird at all. They're engaged, she's likely going to take his last name. Maybe it was something he had hanging up on the walls in his old place? It's pretty normal to let the partner who is moving in hang some stuff of their own up.

I didn't see it so I don't know what it looks like but I was thinking more along the lines that maybe it was on sale and she loved it but it would have been a waste of money to get an "H" when it's going to be changing soon.

I'm single and I love monogram stuff but I refuse to buy it because I hope at some point my last initial will change lol 

If I were getting married I'd probably snap up a monogram piece of my new last name ASAP!  Especially if we lived together.  

[ReadMeLattice]

@gunderda, of course they're allowed to upset them. And the kid is allowed to express that it upset them or that they feel annoyed, frustrated, don't like the interaction, etc. It should have stopped there and not become a major family conflict. 

And ditto on the nagging. She should have to spend an inordinate amount of time nagging him to be a decent father...forever?! When she has a job and a fiance and pets and a kid to raise and a house to take care of and other friends and family? That ain't her job. She tried. Really hard. He's never shown an ounce of initiative. She should basically stalk him about a father daughter dance he should already know all about? I don't think so. She's six. He's had time to improve and hasn't. He's actually actively asked her NOT to nag him. So she's supposed to go against his wishes, too? She let him know. That was far more than she even needed to do. 

[WhosThatGirl]

Like someone said before me, why is it Chelsea's job to remind Adam of these things, though? Adam should already know there was a father/daughter dance. He should know of Aubree's school events ahead of them because he is the father. If he doesn't want Cole taking his place-something I don't feel Chelsea is doing personally, it's just happening because these situations happen and Cole is willing and able to step in- then Adam should be stepping up. Adam should have cleared his schedule because he knew of the events already, when Chelsea texted him, he should have said he already knew and was on his way. Also, Adam claims to be so over Chelsea and fine with Cole, I think then since Aubree told Chelsea she wanted both of them there then Adam should have be able to accept that too. As much as I know how awkward step-parenting and parenting is, the step-parents will be a large part of your kid's and probably your life, too. You might as well just make the best out of it, Aubree said she wanted both Cole and Adam there. That was her choice. I feel like the relationship has been organic with Aubree and Cole. And yes, I wish Chelsea would stop the talk about Adam in front of Aubree but aside from that which doesn't happen as much as some of the other girls on this show- and this includes Teen Mom original recipe - Adam's problem with being a father is on him. Not on Chelsea. He should already know all of her events coming up because he is the dad, he should be there. And yes, sometimes he changes his number and doesn't tell her and she has to ask his parents. I don't know. And for someone who does complain about the show and editing, they do make him look probably better than he is. But that's just my opinion. 

[Lemons]

On ‎5‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 1:59 PM, lezlers said:

I never said I approved of Chelsea's constant attempts at replacing Adam with Cole (although I understand her motivations.) Although I'm sure a lot of those conversations are entirely producer driven, as we've seen in the past.  Also, Adam doesn't seem to be trying to stop it, either.  Honestly, how hard is it to respond to a text?  How hard is it to not skip town on father's day when it's your scheduled visitation with your daughter?  These are things entirely within Adam's control that he really seems to not care about.

I'm still anxious to hear your responses to my other questions, however.  Specifically, what, if anything, is actually expected of Adam personally in order to be a good father. 

I don't remember your other questions, but I think a person should not be given up on unless they refuse to stop being abusive, which isn't the case here.  Adam has improved a lot since he became a father at 16 and he has a long way to go, but he is not hopeless.   He's not even close to being hopeless.  

Luckily the courts save termination of parental rights for things like child abuse, drugs and abandonment.  Not for missing dances, Father's Day and making your child carry her own backpack. 

You said you understand Chelsea's motivations.  I do too and I think they are reprehensible.  She's manipulative and calculating although she hides it well with her dimwitted demeanor.  Adam brought his daughters to his silly competition, those are the type of activities that he is probably comfortable with.  Chelsea needs to accept that. 

We don't know what really happened with Chelsea texting Adam because she told two different stories.  Also, that scene from next week is so highly edited it's hard to understand.  The best scenario would be for Chelsea and Adam to start speaking again.  Since Chelsea is the more mature one she needs to start it.  She could have called him and told him there's a dance and she would understand if he's not comfortable going.  Would he like Cole to go instead?  Adam has already said that he appreciates all Cole does for Aubrey.  She could then explain to Aubrey that Adam can't go but Cole would love to go.  Instead Chelsea has to be all dramatic telling Aburey over and over and over that her dad might show up.  If she didn't want to make excuses for Adam she could have been honest and said she texted Adam and he did not reply so she doesn't think he's going to make it.

[MissMel]

All of this could be avoided.  If Adam spent time with Aubrey every other weekend and took her out for dinner on Wednesdays, I'm sure these things would come up in a casual conversation. Adam would be informed and Aubrey would get to spend time with him. Realistically, it's possible for Chelsea and Adam to never even cross paths. His parents could take care of the transportation.  Boom, conflict solved. Chelsea is cleared, Adam wouldn't have various forms of "I didn't know" for an excuse, and Aubrey gets to be informed of all sides firsthand and form her own opinions. Done. 

[ChocolateAddict]

As I understand, this is how it went down-  Chelsea texts Adam about the dance.  Adam doesn't reply.  Adam doesn't show.

I'm confused as to how it has become Chelsea's fault?  She did what she had to do, tell him about it.  Beyond that it is his responsibility to take the 25 seconds to find out the time/date and work out if he could go.  It would take another 15 seconds to text Chelsea with either "Yes" or "No".  If he can't take the minute out of his life to do those two tiny steps, he can't really say that he is involved in Aubree's life (by any stretch of the imagination!).  Chelsea's job is to parent Aubree not Adam.  

He was given the opportunity to do something nice for his daughter and be involved.  He choose not to.  

[jacksgirl]

Finally watched, I read the snark beforehand.  The dance looked like fun. It's Adam's loss that he didn't go. Jenelle is beyond comment, my dear dad would have referred to her as "Tits on a boar", totally worthless. Vee is kind of charming and wants a positive relationship with Kails, good for her. I want to slap Chastity for her sticking her hillbilly nose where it don't belong. Miranda and Corey are not perfect, but have tried to co parent effectively with Leah. The girlses' lives have changed since Remi was born, just like when little Adderall was born. Leah is so swayed by her family.

[Lemons]

27 minutes ago, ChocolateAddict said:

As I understand, this is how it went down-  Chelsea texts Adam about the dance.  Adam doesn't reply.  Adam doesn't show.

I'm confused as to how it has become Chelsea's fault?  

If it "went down" like that then it is Chelsea's fault for telling Aburey that her father might show up.  And she did that until the very end, even asking if he showed up almost the second that Aubrey got home.  I can't fathom why anyone would tell a child that their father was going to an event that the father never said he was going to. Even Chelsea's not that stupid.  That's why it is doubtful that's the way it happened. 

[shelley1234]

Chelsea texted Adam about the dance.  Adam never responded to Chelsea and even worse...to Aubree.  He's a suck of a dad who thinks of himself first and foremost and his kid if it is convenient to him.  Clearly in terms of this dance, she wasn't.  As per usual.  

[ReadMeLattice]

@Lemons, I mean, he openly says she told him and he "couldn't" go because of the competition, so I'm not really sure what the question is here. And she shouldn't have to ask his *permission* for her stepfather to attend a school event. 

He asked her specifically not to call him, only text. So I'm not sure why she should go that out of her way AND go directly against the kind of contact he says he wants with her...?

I think the only person who's "reprehensible" here is the one who called his daughter a mistake and her mother a fat stretch marked bitch. 

[ChocolateAddict]

@Lemons, ignoring what Chelsea told Aubree for the second.  Adam was told about the dance.  Adam wasn't even bothered to tell his daughter if he was going to be there or not.  That is world class crappy behaviour. He said himself that he knew it was on, so it wasn't a case that he had no idea and was super regretful about it.  

Chelsea told Aubree that she wasn't sure if Adam would be there or not. Maybe it wasn't the greatest way but I'm not sure how else she could have gone about it.  Aubree would have asked if Adam was going and if she said yes (even when she didn't know), Aubree would have been devastated when he didn't show.  If she said no, she would be accused of trying to replace Adam with Cole by writing him off.  Either way, we are looking at this with the benefit of hindsight.  I don't think there is a "How to talk to your child about their deadbeat dad" book that Chelsea could consult here.  

[CookieChica]

23 minutes ago, Lemons said:

If it "went down" like that then it is Chelsea's fault for telling Aburey that her father might show up.  And she did that until the very end, even asking if he showed up almost the second that Aubrey got home.  I can't fathom why anyone would tell a child that their father was going to an event that the father never said he was going to. Even Chelsea's not that stupid.  That's why it is doubtful that's the way it happened. 

But what do you think Chelsea should have said? She texted him, he didn't text back. The only way she could make Adam look good is to straight up lie - either tell Aubree that he had a really important conflict or tell her that she never told him about the dance. 

[shelley1234]

I think the only thing that Chelsea could have done differently or better is to give Adam a deadline to let her or Aubree know if he is planning on coming.  The text could have been, "Hey Adam there is a father/daughter dance at the school.  Let me know by Wed if you plan on coming.  If not, I'll plan on having Cole take her."  If Wed comes and goes and nothing...Cole it is.  (and given how many times Adam has said he was gonna go and then flakes....still have Cole in the wings ready to go if needed).  

[GreatKazu]

10 hours ago, Mkay said:

I asked the same question out loud while watching this week. "Why is there a D on the wall." It took me a minute. 

Jenelle, Leah and Kail should have that "D" on their wall. It would stand for "dick".

Lemons how iis Chelsea supposed to communicate when Adam refuses to accept her calls?

[CookieChica]

On May 26, 2016 at 2:22 PM, poopchute said:

There are several students in the school where I work who use wheelchairs.  I've been teaching for 13 years and I've never seen a student leave the wheelchair at school overnight.  They arrive and leave in the wheelchair.  I don't understand leaving it there.  Because it's too hard to get there?  How do they get it there on Monday mornings and home on Fridays? Magical unicorn?

It happens. I had a friend whose son ended up having muscle degeneration much quicker than the doctor had predicted. He needed his chair much more at school than at home (where my friend could help him). Chair stayed at school while my friend and his wife worked their asses off (and received some fundraising help) to get a wheelchair accessible vehicle. It took about 6 months. 

Now why hasn't Leah (Corey does right?) obtained wheelchair transportation? No idea. She's not in the cash strapped position my friend was in and she certainly doesn't seem to feel guilty the way my friend did. 

[Abmis]

22 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Jenelle, Leah and Kail should have that "D" on their wall. It would stand for "dick".

Lemons how iis Chelsea supposed to communicate when Adam refuses to accept her calls?

I think Chelsea is smart to communicate with Adumb via texting.  That way she has proof of what she said to him.  If by some miracle he did take a call from her, it would her word against his as to what was said between them.  She probably learned that the hard way.

[GreatKazu]

36 minutes ago, Abmis said:

I think Chelsea is smart to communicate with Adumb via texting.  That way she has proof of what she said to him.  If by some miracle he did take a call from her, it would her word against his as to what was said between them.  She probably learned that the hard way.

I agree as I have mentioned this before regarding other couples such as Maci and Ryan, and Amber and Gary. Chelsea can only communicate via text because Adam refuses her calls. So, my question was to the poster who commented Chelsea should find ways to communicate to Adam. Kinda hard to do when the asshole refuses to accept calls from the mother of his child. Adam has many times ignored Aubree's texts. 

[Mkay]

Quote

 

If it happened in a way to where it was Chelsea's fault, I think Adumb would have said it by now.  He hasn't.  He hasn't had a problem calling out editing in the past.  I don't think this episode would be any different. He says himself he is not going to change. Why defend a person like him? 

He didn't go to his daughters first birthday party. Missed father's day 2012 because Chelsea didn't contact him first. (Not his fault, of course!) Missed the t-ball game because he was taking a nap. In 2015 he missed Fathers Day again because he went to Colorado.  He missed the father/daughter dance. Tons more, this is just the times he has stood Aubree up that we know of. 

I mean, if I had articles like this written about me, I'd be doing everything I could to change for my child.  http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/slideshows/adam-lind-9-times-he-proved-hes-the-worlds-worst-baby-daddy/

 

Then there is this from 2014: ‘I’ve made a lot of mistakes I know I can’t take back and can only take responsibility for them and own up to them,” Adam said. “Now I’m just trying to make a better life for myself and my kids. I just purchased a house for me and my girls. It’s a five bedroom house, in the country, which has always been my plan.”

We hear that all the time from him.  In that same interview he says he wished he had never signed up for teen mom and was done with it.  Here we are in 2016, same old story.  Same excuses.  Still claiming he is done.  

Edited May 28, 2016 by Mkay

[blubld43]

8 hours ago, Mkay said:

We hear that all the time from him.  In that same interview he says he wished he had never signed up for teen mom and was done with it.  Here we are in 2016, same old story.  Same excuses.  Still claiming he is done.  

Well I bet we can all guess what Adumb would have been doing without TM 2; living in his parents' house and working full time for minimum wage somewhere, instead of having the luxury of working out all day.  

Leah can miss me with her I'm-over-the-show BS too; her family would never let her quit.  Even her dim little brain has to grasp that she needs the money.

[FanOfTheFans]

18 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Except Adumb has been known to just randomly show up at things without having said anything to Chelsea. I still remember the time he showed up at her house without notice to take Aubree somewhere. Of course Chelsea already had plans, so she had to be the "bad guy" and say no. I remember him just popping up other times, when they thought he wasn't coming. Then he'll actually say he'll be there and doesn't show. I don't think there's ANY way Chelsea could handle it that would ensure Adumb doesn't fuck up and Aubree isn't disappointed. This is all on him, IMO. 

 

A-freaking-men! And he probably would have awkwardly brought some friend of his. Because he can't ever seem to hang out with his daughters without some sort of distraction. 

I do think Adam has always gotten off on emotionally punishing Chelsea.  He has been very cruel to her at multiple times. He jerks her around, using Aubree to do so. I totally get why she would want to erase him from their lives.

I want happiness for herself, Cole, and Aubree.  Adam is not going away. Aubree will figure things out on her own without the questions, etc. I don't want her to resent Chelsea down the road because in a teenager's mind, that could happen if she continues with the suttle talks that she has with Aubree concerning her Dad. She can interpret it as parental alienation.

It isn't fair to Chelsea or Aubree cause Adam is a piece of work and I don't believe he puts his daughter's needs first. I know it is a very difficult situation for Chelsea as in her mind, I'm sure she is doing it as a protective measure. I wish she would just step back and see the bigger picture as this plays out over the years. 

[lezlers]

12 hours ago, shelley1005 said:

I think the only thing that Chelsea could have done differently or better is to give Adam a deadline to let her or Aubree know if he is planning on coming.  The text could have been, "Hey Adam there is a father/daughter dance at the school.  Let me know by Wed if you plan on coming.  If not, I'll plan on having Cole take her."  If Wed comes and goes and nothing...Cole it is.  (and given how many times Adam has said he was gonna go and then flakes....still have Cole in the wings ready to go if needed).  

At that point, my guess  is Adam starts bitching that Chelsea is replacing him with Cole by telling Aubree Cole is taking her to the father daughter dance. And his enablers continue to perform acrobatic leaps in logic in order to continue to put the blame on Chelsea.

[DoctorWhovian]

On May 27, 2016 at 2:37 PM, Lm2162 said:

@DoctorWhovian, Adam has also actively complained about Chelsea "nagging" him about Aubree and contacting him too much, to the point that she didn't have his number for a while. 

Didn't know that part and it just makes it so much worse. 

[lezlers]

14 hours ago, Lemons said:

I don't remember your other questions, but I think a person should not be given up on unless they refuse to stop being abusive, which isn't the case here.  Adam has improved a lot since he became a father at 16 and he has a long way to go, but he is not hopeless.   He's not even close to being hopeless.  

Luckily the courts save termination of parental rights for things like child abuse, drugs and abandonment.  Not for missing dances, Father's Day and making your child carry her own backpack. 

You said you understand Chelsea's motivations.  I do too and I think they are reprehensible.  She's manipulative and calculating although she hides it well with her dimwitted demeanor.  Adam brought his daughters to his silly competition, those are the type of activities that he is probably comfortable with.  Chelsea needs to accept that. 

We don't know what really happened with Chelsea texting Adam because she told two different stories.  Also, that scene from next week is so highly edited it's hard to understand.  The best scenario would be for Chelsea and Adam to start speaking again.  Since Chelsea is the more mature one she needs to start it.  She could have called him and told him there's a dance and she would understand if he's not comfortable going.  Would he like Cole to go instead?  Adam has already said that he appreciates all Cole does for Aubrey.  She could then explain to Aubrey that Adam can't go but Cole would love to go.  Instead Chelsea has to be all dramatic telling Aburey over and over and over that her dad might show up.  If she didn't want to make excuses for Adam she could have been honest and said she texted Adam and he did not reply so she doesn't think he's going to make it.

My questions, for the third time, are what does ADAM need to do to prove he's not a shitty father?  Because by your posts, it looks like nothing, really.  It's all on Chelsea.  He's totally blameless.   Is answering a text beyond what's necessary to be considered a "good dad?"  I keep asking in these posts, but you just ignore the question and go on to attack Chelsea further.  You keep saying he's "changing" but what, specifically, has he done to change other than become a personal trainer? What actions directed towards his daughters, have shown he's changed?  Because I haven't seen a single, solitary thing.  Certainly not pontificating about what an awesome dad he is and how he's going to get custody for the MtV cameras and then not bothering to even show up for a hearing. Because other than begrudgingly showing up 2 times out of 10 to spend a short time with his daughter while being entertained by his friends or phone the entire time can't be enough. So far that's all we've seen.  If there's more, please tell me.  I keep asking.

[shelley1234]

47 minutes ago, lezlers said:

At that point, my guess  is Adam starts bitching that Chelsea is replacing him with Cole by telling Aubree Cole is taking her to the father daughter dance. And his enablers continue to perform acrobatic leaps in logic in order to continue to put the blame on Chelsea.

Yep.  Adam is responsible for his own behavior.  And we've seen how much Adam can chirp on social media when he thinks Chelsea is doing him dirty...and he's been pretty quiet.  Him not responding and not going to her dance is on him...but I am sure for the Adam apologists it's still Chelsea's fault.  

I actually had a lot of respect for Chelsea when Aubree wanted to ask if both her dads could go to the dance...and even though Chelsea realized it would be awkward for Cole (and probably for Adam too), she supported her because that is what Aubree wanted.  It was a moot point because like usual...Adam didn't show.  And let's be real....what DOES Adam show up for???

[GreatKazu]

Adam would have shown up at that dance if MTV filmed it AND Adam had one of his hookers on his arms to show off, just as he has done many times when he showed up at Aubree's baseball games. 

[CofCinci]

1 minute ago, GreatKazu said:

Adam would have shown up at that dance if MTV filmed it AND Adam had one of his hookers on his arms to show off, just as he has done many times when he showed up at Aubree's baseball games. 

Don't forget a bag of freebies too.

[Lexie]

On May 27, 2016 at 9:44 AM, neatoburrito said:

20 hours ago, gunderda said:

Of course Ali is entitled to her feelings.  But adults don't have to cater to a kid's feelings all the time.  Kids get upset for various reasons.  Parents aren't allowed to snap at their kids and upset them once in awhile?

But Kail and Javi have been together for 5ish years? (I don't know how long they were together before they got married - but she says they were married for 4).  That is 4-5 years that Chelsea was able to mature and find a nice stabile relationship.  To compare the two relationships is far fetched. 

Because a lot of kids are shitheads at 16 years old.  But it's not too much of a reach to expect those shitheads to become competent adults. So when they don't, yes you can complain about them.  I'm sure Chelsea didn't expect Adam to be a dumbass his entire life. She didn't choose that. She has no control over that.

That's exactly what he did.  He said "IF I can't make it to the next appointment.... you need to tell the doctor....."  and Leah was the one that said "oh I guess I need to make an appointment then."  Corey didn't tell her to make an appointment, that was her own idea.  He was talking about the Ohio doctor.  Leah took Ali to a local doctor.

I think they actually make Adam look better.  We've heard many reports that Adam is never around when they aren't filming.  He only comes around asking for visitation when the film crew is there. 

But would you do it for SIX YEARS???  We know Chelsea nagged the crap out of him in previous years.  At some point you get fed up with it and you quit.  There is no shame in that.  I don't think anyone would do it continuously. 

My brother stayed in an off and on relationship with his drug addict ex for 6 years solely because she was the mother of his children and he felt the kids needed their mother.  He was not and is not a desperate fool.  He was in his 30s and held a great job. 

We've seen it in almost all of these couples.  It's very hard for them to get over their ex.  It's just what happens.  It's not because any of them are desperate. 

I didn't see it so I don't know what it looks like but I was thinking more along the lines that maybe it was on sale and she loved it but it would have been a waste of money to get an "H" when it's going to be changing soon.

I'm single and I love monogram stuff but I refuse to buy it because I hope at some point my last initial will change lol 

If I were getting married I'd probably snap up a monogram piece of my new last name ASAP!  Especially if we lived together.  

 

if they had anything worse on Adam we would see it.  

And Isaac was told to call javi daddy years ago, before the wedding where kail straight out said that she felt the bond was better between Isaac and javi. So idk why you think it's so far fetched.  It's exactly the same except at least javi was providing benefits for Isaac and Cole is just showing up for kindergarten dances.  

[shelley1234]

Adam thinks MTV gives him a bad edit.  Cry me a river.  MTV gives him an accurate edit.  Heck, MTV could have pointed out that the guy he brought along to his parenting time with Aubree was a registered sex offender.  

Adam just didn't care enough about his daughter to even contact her about the dance.  That's not a dad.  

As for right now, Cole's a dad.  Adam's a sperm donor.

[SPLAIN]

LOL Kail had Isaac call Javi "daddy" because she was, and still is, a conniving bitch. She wanted to stick it to Jo.  That cow did it for ulterior reasons,  although no doubt Javi loves that boy and Isaac loves Javi. 

If they had anything worse on Adam we would have seen it? Ohhhh so not true. MTV is also a conniving bitch. Leah is shown as a mother struggling all on her own while outside sources have confirmed she lives with a guy and his two kids. plenty of ugly things have happened in the lives of these cast members. We have not been privy to some of those things simply due to MTV either not having caught it on camera or choosing not to air it.

Besides, isn't what we know of Adumb and what has been shown ugly enough? 

Edited May 28, 2016 by SPLAIN

[Lexie]

Yeah chelsea is also being that same kind of bitch.   Now that she has pushed javi into isaacs life as a father figure it is Isaac who will suffer because they are getting divorced.   Chelsea is playing the exact same game with Aubree.   

Mtv has nothing else that makes Adam look like a bad father because he isn't even allowed to see Aubree unsupervised.  Which is just the way Chelsea wants it.  now that she picked a douche for her kids father and set it up that he can only see the kid at his parents house (which he deserved at the time) she wants to cry that he's a douche and never around.   She can't even get her story straight about what exactly she did or said about the dance, it's so obvious.  

[shelley1234]

Wonder how Adam had a sex offender sitting at a table with his daughter at a play center if he is only to see his daughter at his parents???  LOL.  Chelsea probably went into the editing room and created that to screw Adam.  Nah, his choices.  And the courts agreed with the visitation order, so it's legit in my book.  Courts don't usually just support one parent trolling the other.    

And when Adam took off on Father's Day because he needed some ME time...Chelsea's fault.  When he didn't even answer about the dance...Chelsea's fault.  When he doesn't show up or spend most of his visits with Aubree staring at his phone...more Chelsea's fault.    

Chelsea is taking care of her daughter.  Better than most on this show and better than Adam has ever shown himself capable of.  And she took her time finding a relationship and then introducing that person to Aubree.  He is part of her life and that's a good thing, especially given how many times Adam just doesn't care to show up.  

[ReadMeLattice]

@Lexie, she's not "pushing" anyone on her. She got engaged. She's allowed to be with someone other than the douche she slept with at 16.

To insinuate that the damage Adam is causing is in any way comparable to Chelsea's mistakes is laughable. She's made minor mistakes. He can barely be considered a father.

[Lexie]

Aubree herself says that she only wants to call Adam dad but Chelsea isn't pushing anything?  Okay.   Also don't put words in my mouth   I never said Chelsea isn't allowed to be with anyone else--it doesn't make Cole aubrees father    

Making aubree feel bad for loving her dad is a big deal.  Aubree will figure it out eventually but for now she's just. Little kid who loves her douche bag dad. 

Edited May 28, 2016 by Lexie

[SPLAIN]

Geez. Beating a dead horse. 

Was Leah doing a drug run? Is that why her bitch cousin was babysitting the kids? Leah has nothing else going on. Why does she need a sitter?

[ReadMeLattice]

She said that to Chelsea's mom, not Chelsea, and that's also an incorrect paraphrase of her statement. Chelsea's never forced Aubree to call Cole Dad, and Aubree has also openly compared Cole to Adam favorably. 

Even if she DID make her call him Dad, which she hasn't, it wouldn't be at all comparable or in the same league as Adam's actions.

[shelley1234]

Chelsea's mom is the only one I have seen pushing with that conversation about how Aubree would like calling Cole dad.  I've never seen Chelsea say that.  She has asked Aubree if she likes when Cole does this or that.  I think it's her own way of showing Aubree what it is supposed to be like.  She doesn't finish it with "Don't you like how Cole takes us apple picking...you know....like your dad never does...because he is a loser."  

And I don't rewatch the show, but I am pretty sure that Aubree is the one who said with sadness, why didn't my Other Daddy come??  She wasn't being pushed there and she showed her disappointment and sadness.  

Chelsea is providing her a family...which always included a dad figure (first Randy and now Cole) because Adam refuses to do his part.  I am sure Chelsea wishes that she took him up on his offer when he wanted to sign off and called her a mistake.  She was too young and immature to see the golden opportunity he was giving her and her daughter.  Aubree would have been better off in a million different ways if that had actually happened.  

But yes, I agree.  Dead horse.  We all see the show and see what is what.

[Lexie]

She straight out said she only wants to call her dad dad.  So does that not tell you it was Chelsea's idea?   Aubree probably knows that Chelsea would be pissed if she said that to her