S04.E13: Lupe's Story

[Atia]

I've never seen such a large 360 person in my life. She must have had zero muscle tone and 90% body fat. Seriously, how could she only weigh 360 at the end? I've weighed that before, and I'm 5'5" like she is -- and I'm not delusional when I say I was nowhere near that size.

Right before she went in for her weigh-in pre-surgery, we saw her walking in the garage with Gilbert. Then 2 days after surgery she suddenly can't get out of bed, coincidentally at the same time she learns (again) that Gilbert looking for the exit? It was so obvious that she refused to get up after that because she knew he was out the door the minute she became truly mobile, that I don't understand why Dr. Now or the therapist didn't bring it up. N

I won't give Gibert a pass for cheating, but I do give him a pass for wanting the hell out. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and accept that he was truly touched by the thought of being the answer to someone's prayer and married her with good intentions. But care taking wears you down to the nub, even when the person is (mostly) cheerful and trying. When they're whiny, tearful, and clingy and leaving a trail of bodily fluids for you to clean up, and give nothing to the relationship while being perfectly fine with having your every waking moment revolve around seeing to their needs? It wears you down to something almost beyond bearing.

What kind of person starts a relationship with "I've prayed for God to send someone to take care of me" anyway? Why not, "I've prayed for God to send me someone to share my life with" or "someone I can love" or even "someone who will love me as I am?" But "someone to take care of me?" Huge red flag. Although the red flag ship sailed when he stayed after learning she was 500+ lbs and bed-bounds, so...

Speaking of which, Lupe is the 2nd woman to make me shake my head at the Universe this season. Lupe finds a husband at 500+ and bed bound, another one this season found a husband at 500 lbs with a severely disabled child, and I'm a college educated woman who runs her own business and bupkis. Where's my yellow brick road? ;)

What a great post! Here's hoping your yellow brick road is down the lane. You deserve one!

Edited March 25, 2016 by Atia

[MrsChappy]

Atia, keep this in mind: you probably have standards. The people on this show may have mates, but they are totally dysfunctional!

[millennium]

and I'm thinking, why didn't you tell that to your son who's the producer? 

 

wait, what?  really?  they're connected?

[greekmom]

Add me to the bus going to hell. 

I actually give Gilbert a pass for cheating and wanting to get the hell out of there. If Lupe wasn't so bitchy and whiny maybe the relationship would have worked. Sure Gilbert signed up for it and probably got something back (green card? free room/board? payment to take care of her?), who knows. But here is Lupe given a great opportunity to get her life back with Dr. Now. What does she do? Bitch, moan, cheat on the diet, etc just to keep Gilbert tied to her apron strings.  If she was a bit nicer to him and not treated him like dirt on top of him cooking, cleaning, wiping her ass, etc maybe he would have actually cared for her in the end.

 

Put me down as someone who doesn't think that was menstrual blood. She just said that her private area hurt and we saw blood. Could have been some torn skin or some open sore that bled? She was at the point where you "couldn't find it even with a map".  

[chakajo]

I feel you also Gbb. I am also college educated and have a good job and can't find a husband. Loss weight, went from 245 down 188 and did by changing the way I ate. I believe some men are just jerks. Eight years is a long time without having sex. It angered me to see Lupe still in the damn wheel chair after a 300 pound loss. She should be mobile at this point. Someone should suggest birth control pills or the shot to stop menstruation. I would be embarrassed if my husband to change my pad. 

[HelloOutThere]

You summed it so right. I wonder who nominates some of these people -friends, family? I can't see Lupe & Gabe having enough smarts to get her story together to submit.

 

I got the feeling that the niece who drove them to Houston nominated them. The niece ::taking my seat on the bus to Hell:: should have negotiated a two-fer and gotten herself the surgery as well. It's the least that TLC could do in exchange for bringing them arguably one of the most disturbing subjects featured in the series.

[Morgalisa]

Dr. Now said that Lupe needed a hip replacement and probably knee surgery.  At her weight, wouldn't that be enough to keep her from walking.  I don't know if she could survive two more surgeries.

[Muffyn]

Okay, Lupe is an extremely annoying person.  She whines and moans and is basically miserable to be around.  And yet her family seems to really care about her.  They seemed very loving at the goodbye party, and her niece was willing to drive them to Houston.  So sometimes she must not be a nightmare.  And she has a husband who has been taking care of her in every possible way.  

 

So here’s the thing.  Yet again we have a really difficult family dynamic and that dynamic is not addressed.  Gilbert is clearly over her and yet he is still there.  He is contacting other women on line to preach the gospel (and his penis).  Her family supports her move and then brings her massive amounts of food for her birthday, placing a sheet cake on her lap.   They all need help, education and perhaps a good kick in the ass. 

 

Lupe isn’t walking.  There certainly seems to be a strong psychological component to this.  There is also a physical one.  She has been sedentary so long she has little muscle tone and has most likely lost good feedback from her muscles, both from non-use and from her very high blood sugar.  Her right leg is fully turned out.  She cannot safely support her weight on that for a long period of time.  However, we don’t see physical therapy offered to help fix that problem.  And Dr. Now is remarkable in his inability to look outside of just weight for health issues to be addressed.  While her extreme weight and inactivity most likely caused the leg issue, it still needs to be addressed.  And it is not a quick fix. 

 

So again these are people who really need counseling and other kinds of help.  

 

Let’s not pretend that they are living some great life.  Lupe is mentally ill.  Her situation is of her own making but that doesn’t make it less sad.  I certainly enjoy the snark and am more than willing to participate in it.  However, the discussion of how they are living large off our taxpayer dollars is very distasteful.  They are living in a rundown place.  She said he can’t work fulltime because he takes care of her.  He may work part time – we don’t know.  This show has consistently hidden the ways people earn money.  Clearly she doesn’t work (other than at things like hiding tacos in her purse).  Her family may help out some also. 

 

At the beginning of the show we were shown a shopping cart in front of their house with a “The end is near" cardboard sign taped to it.  Do I suspect the whole religion angle is a big thing for these two?  Yep.  God sent Gilbert to help take care of her.  Gilbert is starting to realize God is one mean bastard.

Edited March 25, 2016 by Muffyn

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

And Dr. Now is remarkable in his inability to look outside of just weight for health issues to be addressed.

Dr. Now is a specialist in the field of weight-loss surgery. His is a common fault amongst specialists: they don't see a patient, but rather only the body part they specialize in. When my daughter was three, she was discovered to have amblyopia (one eye going blind due to disuse) by a pediatric ophthalmologist. After the initial patching improved her condition considerably and the bifocals improved it even more, his next suggestion was to put drops in her eyes every morning that would blur her vision unless glasses were used. I asked the doctor (paraphrasing)"These drops would sting and make her vision blurry. Why should she even want to get up in the morning?" He looked at me with bafflement: He was viewing my daughter not as a whole person, but rather a set of eyes needing fixing. (Epilogue: We told the doctor that we would ONLY consent to the drops if there was literally no other way to restore her normal vision. As it turns out, she didn't need them and she sees just fine with glasses today).

[Lightning]

For almost every patient, you see the arrival scene where Dr. Now was standing in front of the hospital saying that driving cross country in a mini-van is very dangerous, they should have taken a bariatric ambulance - and I'm thinking, why didn't you tell that to your son who's the producer?  They knowingly put all these people in danger.  Trust me, TLC has the money to pay for a bariatric ambulance.

 

So there has been a lot of comments about money and the fact that Lupe and Gilbert have nothing.  Some people are just as happy as clams with nothing, so long as they don't have to work.  (Now, this is going to come across as snobby, but bear with me) We have family members who are just happy to sit in their house (apartment, trailer) all day and watch Jerry Springer/play video games/talk shit on facebook, smoking cigarettes, eating hot dogs on white bread with store brand ketchup, sitting on their musty, stained couch.  They have no bank account, no credit cards, and a car that barely runs (if that) and no job to speak of.  Whereas I busted my ass in college, twice, and got a great job with fantastic benefits. My husband who never went to college (and really didn't graduate high school), does commercial refrigeration and works about 80 hours a week, but makes nearly six figures.  While we are not free to do whatever we want, whenever we want because of our jobs, I feel like because we have a bank account, credit cards, and  newer cars, we have way more freedom then them.  We don't get to go on vacation as they do nearly as much, we too often eat cheaply, and my couch is pretty musty (dogs!), but at least we could take off on a weekend trip, shop at Whole Foods and buy a new couch if we wanted, but we don't because we want to spend our money wisely.  Am I mad that I have to pay for these relatives to live through my taxes?  A little, but I feel sorry for them that don't realize they have enslaved themselves to the government.  

Your relatives know that they have a relative with credit cards and money in the bank.  I'm like you -- worked hard, have a house, credit cards (which are mainly unused but have huge credit limits), and money in the bank -- all from living and spending wisely.  If your relatives had an emergency, they know who to come to -- the one with the money.   And, if your relatives are anything like mine -- they think you got your money through sheer luck and don't really "deserve" it, so you should spread it around a little.

[gunderda]

Dr. Now said that Lupe needed a hip replacement and probably knee surgery.  At her weight, wouldn't that be enough to keep her from walking.  I don't know if she could survive two more surgeries.

Possibly but seemed to be doing just fine up until her surgery and then suddenly she wasn't able to do it.  It just seems weird.  At almost 700 pounds she could at least walk a TINY bit,  at 300 she was refusing to.  Maybe she injured herself trying to walk with all that weight.  But I feel like Dr. Now probably looked into it enough to decide that she still should be able to walk and just didn't want to.

[Typhoo]

 Someone should suggest birth control pills or the shot to stop menstruation. 

She could take progesterone to stop the bleeding. I'm 54 years old and 462 pounds yet I bleed continously if I don't take my 40 milligrams of progesterone every day. My gyno won't do surgery for a hysterectomy until I weigh 300 pounds and I'm losing weight at a snail's pace.

[mrsjoe]

I'm guessing she still looked so big at the end because all her weight was in the middle. We're used to seeing most of these patients who have enormous legs (or are just enormous all over), and I'm pretty sure she has some of the smallest legs we have ever seen, even comparing her at 600+  to some of the people after they have lost 300+. Hers wasn't even just belly but fat shoulders and neck areas.Her distribution was just crazy. It's no wonder she had the most heart problems of any patients, seeing as I've read that weight around the midsection is the most dangerous weight on the heart.

 

I still don't get the housing situation. I totally translated "we found a place to live" as either 'we didn't qualify for housing assistance in Texas until we had lived here at least 6 months" or "TLC was only paying for the hotel until we made it through the waiting list", so it seemed odd that they were renting a house (which they didn't bother to check if the wheelchair could enter) and not living in a budget apartment. And I couldn't understand when the wheelchair wouldn't clear the doorjamb, why in the world he didn't grab her walker and make her walk over it. We saw that's the process to get her into the bed, so we know she could at least do that much. Granted, she was actually motivated to get into the bed. Not so much to stand to help Gilbert.

 

Speaking of Gilbert, I did get a little chuckle of him working out in the hotel room. I'm totally sure that's what he does ALL the time and not just something he wanted to show off for the cameras.

 

I'm in agreement that I don't see this ending well. She will try to justify about anything as an excuse to fail, and I don't see her life turning around quickly, so she's going to have lots of excuses to choose from.

[Groovitude]

This episode was sad and infuriating as well. The future seems bleak for Lupe, but I hope I'm wrong.

The thing that startled me while I was watching, and I'm not squeamish, was when Dr. Now cut open that huge bedsore. I didn't expect it to burst like that. I had to rewind and rewatch. It had to have been so painful.

[gameshowjunkie]

This was a tough one to watch. I always turn away for the surgery but there were many other moments on this one I couldn't look at.

 

I hate cheaters with a passion but kind of half gave Gilbert a pass on this one. I did laugh out loud at the "spreading the word of Jesus".

 

She is the first patient I remember who lost that much weight and didn't really look any different.

[Cherrio]

This episode was sad and infuriating as well. The future seems bleak for Lupe, but I hope I'm wrong.

The thing that startled me while I was watching, and I'm not squeamish, was when Dr. Now cut open that huge bedsore. I didn't expect it to burst like that. I had to rewind and rewatch. It had to have been so painful.

Oh, I had the volume on mute and my eyes closed.  This show and Hoarders, I do not think I have ever not closed my eyes for at least 20% of the show.

[LilyoftheValley]

Your relatives know that they have a relative with credit cards and money in the bank.  I'm like you -- worked hard, have a house, credit cards (which are mainly unused but have huge credit limits), and money in the bank -- all from living and spending wisely.  If your relatives had an emergency, they know who to come to -- the one with the money.   And, if your relatives are anything like mine -- they think you got your money through sheer luck and don't really "deserve" it, so you should spread it around a little.

OT but I am in the same position - tell your rellies you have a really bad credit score and a loan you once defaulted on.  Trust me on this one.  

 

BTW, it seems that many families on this show live a lot like Lupe and her husband.  They're all just sort of barely going through the motions of existing, and the highlight of their lives in their smart phone and regular trips to the grocery store.  

[Rancide]

I am surprising myself by giving Gilbert a "pass" on his cheating.  I've never seen a spouse more loving, devoted and hard working on this series. Yet, we all have "needs", and the poor guy needed some escape.  Somehow he was able to justify loving his wife and yet find comfort from other sources, and I really can't blame him a bit.

 

Ditto.  And no, two wrongs don't make a right, but I think Lupe's behavior is at least as big a violation of her marriage vows as Gilbert's.  She kept saying she didn't deserve less because she was big, but I don't know that that's true.  Less than what?  Less than people who are making an effort to be present and participating partners in a marriage?  Yes, she has a disease.  And yes, it's hard.  But eating to the point that you ruin both yours and your husband's life is not necessarily that different from gambling to the point that you ruin yours and your husband's life, or drinking.  And those are really common reasons people get divorced.  She's got a problem, and yes, he promised for better or worse, but the fact that someone promised you for better or for worse doesn't give you license to drive 100 mph towards "worse" in a runaway train without even trying to apply the brakes and then yell at them for wanting to get off.  

 

Gilbert could have left, and he didn't.  Maybe it was all for the cameras, but he did seem respectful and supportive of her in most of their personal interactions.  I have a hard time believing he was a total jerk once the cameras were off because Lupe seemed to have no problem calling him out on being a jerk whenever he was one.

[Long Spot]

A few things...

 

1) You guys make me feel so much better about my feelings regarding this episode.  The past few episodes.  For that I am grateful and feel less like a judgey asshole.  I am not alone.

 

2) I noticed about half-way through that I hadn't seen Lupe smile since she was eating...and eating...and squirreling away purse tacos in bed in Cali.  Was pondering how sad that was, until the fam showed up with a damn sheet cake, and there was her smile again.  And wasn't seen again until the park visit at the very end, and that was obviously forced and fake.  Food truly seemed to be her only joy, and I wish Dr. Not Now but Later had addressed that earlier with the therapist.  As others said, they seemed familiar when it finally happened, but why aren't we shown that?  Seems that would be more helpful for viewers to see rather than droplets of someone's monthly (or decadely, in Lupe's case).

 

3) Gilbert was a roller coaster ride for me.  As soon as I heard "met online" and "married anyway" even though he thought she was 200 lbs, followed by he "can't work, he takes care of me", I thought...meal ticket (no pun intended).  But, Ole Gilbert, he'd hug her.  Really really hug her.  And her arms never reciprocated, she'd stiffen and be awkward, turn her face away from him...even in the beginning before she found out Lil Gilbert was steering Big Gilbert wrong.  I despise a cheater, but want to cut him a little slack there.  The sex thing, obviously was going to be, shall we say, unconventional if it happened at all, but that poor boob couldn't even get a decent affectionate hug out of the woman he was shoveling literal shit for.  

 

4) The first stop for fast food on the trip down, Lupe said "I know this has to be my last fast food meal..."  And then?  Yeah.  Lupe.  Really?  I lost count after 6 more because I was just so angry with her.

 

 

5) Dr. Now's son is a producer?!  It all makes sense "now" (hehe...heh...sigh).  This season has felt very producer driven and ugly to me.  When this show started it seemed to want to show the successes, and a few heart wrenching failures due to health or the like.  Between Sean and Lupe back to back, it's now feeling like they only want to show the train wrecks.  I know people slow down for those and want a good stare, but menstrual blood, pee pads, purse tacos and cheatin' spouses...it's gratuitous.  And I bet it continues.  Because that's what apparently sells.  But not to me.  I'll be out and done if that's the model they intend to stick with.

 

But just in general, thank you for helping me not want to hate myself for not feeling a lick of empathy for Lupe.  Me thinks she'll be left to her make-up and black tank top and purple skirt, one last fast food meal, eaten alone, and I'm fine with that.  Because she sure seems to be.

 

Edited to add: I wish they'd shown Gilbert slamming the car door on her one...last...time, while she howled, "Don't slam the...".  Was the only enjoyment I had and two or three wasn't enough.

Edited March 26, 2016 by Long Spot

[Fuzzysox]

I've been thinking about Lupe and her desire to not walk and it left me wondering if she is afraid to lose her disability checks if she started getting better!? Would make sense more so than losing Gilbert to me. She has no other means of support and would probably be left to be a burden on her family.

[ClareWalks]

Ditto.  And no, two wrongs don't make a right, but I think Lupe's behavior is at least as big a violation of her marriage vows as Gilbert's.  She kept saying she didn't deserve less because she was big, but I don't know that that's true.  Less than what?  Less than people who are making an effort to be present and participating partners in a marriage?  Yes, she has a disease.  And yes, it's hard.  But eating to the point that you ruin both yours and your husband's life is not necessarily that different from gambling to the point that you ruin yours and your husband's life, or drinking.  And those are really common reasons people get divorced.  She's got a problem, and yes, he promised for better or worse, but the fact that someone promised you for better or for worse doesn't give you license to drive 100 mph towards "worse" in a runaway train without even trying to apply the brakes and then yell at them for wanting to get off.  

 

 

Totally agree. Her constant protests that she deserves the best even if she's big...I mean, you gotta be realistic. If you have nothing to offer to a relationship (intimacy, earning potential, homemaking skills, whatever), then what makes you "deserve" the best? She was bedbound, refused to attempt anything intimate that would make a spousal/romantic relationship, and refused to stop eating so damn much, and then when she finally did start losing weight, she started refusing to walk. Honey, you don't "deserve the best." That's for damn sure. None of us deserves the best. We deserve what we can get. It'd be like if I tried to sell my car for a billion dollars, saying I deserve it. I deserve what someone will pay for it. She is lucky she got someone to "pay" anything for a relationship with her, the way she was/is acting. Note: I am not saying she deserved to be abused or mistreated, but if she isn't honoring their marriage vows, why should he have to? Gilbert took good care of her and she gave him nothing back.

[Rancide]

Right.  It's hard for me to see how someone can demand the best when they're not putting out the best.  Lupe was not doing the best she could do to be a supportive partner in their marriage, and it's hard for me to fault Gilbert for not giving it his all, either.  On balance, he seemed to be doing more than she was, notwithstanding his problems.  And yeah, they both need to do better.  But it's like Lupe was demanding unilateral improvement--Gilbert needed to fix his flaws, while she didn't even need to try to stand up, try to work on wiping her own ass, etc.  

 

With 10 years in bed, she may have done such permanent damage to her legs that she'll never walk again even if she gets down to 200 lbs, but at least get a damned motorized wheelchair and work on disability-outfitting your home.  Plenty of people in wheelchairs are capable of a much higher degree of self-care than Lupe was exhibiting.

[RCharter]

No tea, no shade...I'm 9 minutes in, and dozen donuts between 2 people?  Really?  

Edited March 26, 2016 by RCharter

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

No tea, no shade...I'm 9 minutes in, and dozen donuts between 2 people?  Really?

I doubt Gilbert had more than one, if that...

[RCharter]

Me either. Her heart is so weak that if she backtracks a little, she'll most likely die.

I agree with you. He seemed tired and just run down. She refused to walk and her not doing that meant that he has to stay with her. He was looking for an out, and her walking was it.

 

I don't know, he can pretty much come and go as he pleases and "spread" the word to as many other women that will have him (no tea, no shade, but the pickings for either gender is pretty slim in San Bernardino).  He can be out for 20 minutes or 2 hours picking up her food, which gives him time to meet with other women.  He likely gets a check and some money for taking care of her and he doesn't have to wear a uniform other than his black tank top and shorts.

 

 

I agree her heart will give out.    Drastic changes and abuse of the body often cause cardiac arrest, from the heaviest to the thinnest as in an anorexic.

            I got a slight vibe of Gilbert maybe one of those men who have a fat fetish?    He seemed fine before she lost some weight.     I am probably wrong, but something was not said or shown, or probably producer created drama which made the episode wonky. 

             I think a lot of these cases like Lupe, Penny and some of the others never talk about how some of the behaviors and refusal to get out of bed are due to losing their free ride aka medicaid and disability. I think it plays a big part in their refusal to recover.

 

Well, he was into her when he thought she was 5'5 and 200 pounds which would still make her overweight so maybe he likes something.  But I agree that he was putting on for the cameras as much as he could.  I think Lupe will always be on the public dole, at this point she has a weak heart, type 2 diabetes that has been poorly managed for years and likely a million other medical conditions.

 

 

I can definitely understand the frustration in the drive but how did they think she would fare being squeezed in like a sardine? And yes, that car had to smell between the bathroom smells as well as fast food wrappers. That niece was nice for driving them in her car but couldn't TLC have rented a van for them? I was wondering too about Gabriel not driving in the move. He evidently could drive if they got a rental car later on. I'm thinking the niece may be one of those people that don't want others driving her car. Can't blame her.

They should have scraped together the money for a rental vehicle....a van.  The 7 day rates for a rental vehicle can be pretty reasonable.  I wouldn't have volunteered my vehicle for someone that I had to lay down a tarp for...no ma'am!

 

 

I felt sorry for the niece and her car. That couldn't have been good for the suspension, not to mention being urine soaked.

 

I about died when two lonely EMT showed up and basically said without saying that they were going to need more men and called the fire department. How embarrassing. 

On the plus side, those were some pretty good looking FD/EMTs.  If I ever need to be rescused off a toilet seat in Texas...oh wait...maybe not....

 

Her niece is damn near a saint.  That car looked newer and spotless on the inside.  You have a new care that you're taking good care of, and you have to let someone shit and piss, whine and moan and drip food and vanilla shake all over herself while she whines continuously?  Oh no.....I might have peaced out after the first night in the hotel and called them an Uber or something.

 

If he cared about her so much, STOP BRINGING HER SO MUCH FOOD. If she wants lunch from Taco Bell, great! Bring her two chicken soft tacos, or maybe three, with either a diet soda or water. That's it until dinner. And make sure anybody she could call to get her more food knows the plan.

If she wants anything else, then she can get up and go get it.

 

I just think that the overweight person is such a manipulator and whiner that they will work a person's nerves until they bring them what they want.  I think it has come up a few times before.  Its easier to just give the person what they want than to listen to them yell, whine, moan, bitch and complain all day.  And in Lupe's case....simply call up another family member and guilt them (the niece who thought her aunt would feel "unloved" if she didn't bring her 20 pounds of lunch)

 

It continues to deeply disturb me that these people show no means of supporting themselves yet manage to keep a fairly decent roof over their heads, afford months of hospital/medical care and TONS and TONS of fast food.  I can only guess that I am working my butt off, budgeting carefully and living paycheck to paycheck in order to involuntarily support these folks. 

They live in San Bernardino, and from the looks of it...not the nice part.  Rent has to be as cheap as the dirt that their front yard is made of.  I imagine there is a Section 8 housing allowance since she is disabled and a check....and Gilbert getting a check for being her caretaker.  That would be more than enough in San Bernardino.  I'm also going to guess there is some Medi-Cal, Medicaid at work as well.  I understand the outrage over tax dollars, but relatively, these two are living pretty low.

[Armchair Critic]

Did you notice Gilbert's comment to Lupe that she was wearing her sexy red top? Was he serious or was that a wink at the camera and he was being sarcastic? I noticed they had to blur out her chest because it kept falling out of the top. It amazes me that the people they have on this show don't seem to care if they flash people (I had commented on the Sean thread about all the crotch flashes we get on this show).

[RCharter]

Did you notice Gilbert's comment to Lupe that she was wearing her sexy red top? Was he serious or was that a wink at the camera and he was being sarcastic? I noticed they had to blur out her chest because it kept falling out of the top. It amazes me that the people they have on this show don't seem to care if they flash people (I had commented on the Sean thread about all the crotch flashes we get on this show).

I feel like at some point their sense of shame had to go.  I mean these are people that are pissing and shitting in their bed....my feeling is at that point you're so low you just probably don't care much anymore.

 

I think Gilbert was putting on for the camera so he looked like a really great guy.  I mean, is he even sexually attracted to her?  I wonder if they have ever had sex?

[OhioMom]

Did you notice Gilbert's comment to Lupe that she was wearing her sexy red top? Was he serious or was that a wink at the camera and he was being sarcastic? I noticed they had to blur out her chest because it kept falling out of the top. It amazes me that the people they have on this show don't seem to care if they flash people (I had commented on the Sean thread about all the crotch flashes we get on this show).

The other Gilbert comment I noticed (and that bothered me) was when he was telling the EMT's, "She broke the toilet", or she's stuck on there, or something...and he had this little smile on his face, like, "Can you believe it, man???"  I don't give Gilbert a pass for cheating.  If you don't like it (the situation you're in), leave. If you stay, then stay, and honor your wedding vows.  Can't have it both ways.

[cynicat]

I finally got to catch up and watch this episode and there's not much add.  As I watched Lupe eat, it occurred to me that I'm fascinated by the process of how all these people eat.  The size of the pieces they put in their mouths, how they chew, and the way their eyes look as if they are in the throws of pleasure.  I watch them eat with the same level of fascination that I have for staring only at Donald Trump's fish mouth when he talks.  

 

Way upthread it was discussed as to whether Gilbert had a driver's license because he didn't drive to Houston.  I thought it might be sheer logistics.  I don't think the niece would have fit in the back seat, so the 2 very large women needed to be in front.  The IKEA reference was spot on, and it reminded me of all the years packing up to go to college, where every square inch of car was filled. Jenga.

 

Gilbert was completely checked out, as everyone has stated.  He's totally beaten.  I too give him a pass at the cheating, and think Lupe would be better off if he left.  Didn't Dr. Now allude to that in the hospital at one point?  That Gilbert hadn't been around and that meant she was doing more?  I may have misheard.  The situation reminded me of Chuck and Nissa, and we all cheered when she divorced his lazy ass.  

[Atia]

I wish that the show would actually spend 24 hours with the person and write down every single thing that goes in their mouth. And then compare that to what they think they ate. Then we would have a better idea how many calories they are really eating.

[gardendiva]

The broken toilet seat puzzled me. All she did was sit down and crack the part that connected it to the ceramic stool so that it was no longer attached to the toilet. It did not glue her butt to the toilet. Why did she suddenly need EMT's to be called to hoist her off of the toilet? Did she have a plan for how she planned to get off the toilet before the broken seat incident happened? Whether or not the seat was screwed to the ceramic made no difference as to her ability to stand up and get off of it.

 

I cannot abide the helpless victim mentality that people like Lupe exhibit--they seem to enjoy having others go out of their way to help them, with a sense of entitlement and a lack of appreciation for what is done for them.

 

This was not a good episode to end on if this was in fact the season finale.

[ethalfrida]

They seemed to take the grossness as far as they could in this episode, exaggerating incidents that were not what they seemed Her bleeding was not what it was alluded to be. Yes, she probably plopped down on the toilet seat and it broke. These stories are fascinating enough without sensational adds. 

[RCharter]

Way upthread it was discussed as to whether Gilbert had a driver's license because he didn't drive to Houston.  I thought it might be sheer logistics.  I don't think the niece would have fit in the back seat, so the 2 very large women needed to be in front.  The IKEA reference was spot on, and it reminded me of all the years packing up to go to college, where every square inch of car was filled. Jenga.

 

heh...car Tetris!

[cynicat]

heh...car Tetris!

 

Ha!  I was thinking of Tetris but didn't think anyone would get that reference

[Peanutbuttercup]

I hate to be the person rooting for a marriage to fail, and they may love each other in some sick way, but I really think they would both be better off apart. Gilbert could get a real job and chase as many women as he wants without having to clean up pee pads and give himself hernias trying to push an oversize wheelchair over a threshold. Lupe would have to give up on the idea that if she just stays helpless and bedridden, Gilbert will have to stick around, and she might finally have to get her damn self out of bed and start walking. Someone needs to put Gilbert's ass on a Greyhound back to San Bernardino (first stop once home: divorce lawyer) and move Lupe into a good physical rehab center so she can really make some progress.

[EtheltoTillie]

I always call producer shenanigans on the fact that they never call in the therapist until the subject screws up royally for ten months, but it really struck me as exploitative in this case. This may have been the most dysfunctional family we've seen on this show, or maybe a draw with Penny.

Edited March 28, 2016 by GussieK

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

I wish that the show would actually spend 24 hours with the person and write down every single thing that goes in their mouth. And then compare that to what they think they ate. Then we would have a better idea how many calories they are really eating.

The columnist Andy Rooney once wrote about a experiment conducted in the 1970s:

A couple dozen overweight people participated. They were given a journal and told to write down during each day EXACTLY what they ate over (I think) a three-week period. No exceptions were allowed: they could eat anything they wanted, but had to write it down. Then after three weeks, they were all checked into a residential care facility for another three weeks. No visitors were allowed so there would be no possibility of bringing in outside food. The patients were given, each day, what they said they had eaten during the corresponding day when writing the journal. For instance, if a man in the study wrote that he ate two cheeseburgers with fries and a shake for lunch on the second day when writing down the journal, then that's what they gave him for lunch on the second day of his stay at the facility. If a woman in the study admitted to eating two Hershey bars and four Twinkies during the afternoon of the the 10th day of writing the journal, she was given two Hershey bars and four Twinkies during the 10th day in the facility.

The results? The participants lost an average of seven pounds over the three weeks. One woman lost 30 pounds doing nothing more than eating what she said she'd been eating before.

The moral of the story is that we sometimes lie to people about what we eat, and we even lie to ourselves.

[Momof2boyz]

            I got a slight vibe of Gilbert maybe one of those men who have a fat fetish?    He seemed fine before she lost some weight.     I am probably wrong, but something was not said or shown, or probably producer created drama which made the episode wonky. 

             

He actually said that he usually WASN'T attracted to big women but that he had fallen in love with her.  This had given me hope in the beginning that he was a genuine person.  I didn't get him at all.

[Granny58]

There's no delicate way to say this so here goes... couldn't Lupe still give her husband oral sex or at least a hand job? Not that I am blaming her for his cheating because he did marry her knowing her situation, but maybe if she threw the guy a bone he would be less likely to be "flirting". And yes I know some men are just dogs even when they are treated like gold by their wives, just throwing that out there.

 

[/ducking for cover]

I JUST watched this and I have very strong feelings about the both of them.  I know he married her even while she was already very heavy, but she needs to learn that (though we may work out our daddy issues through our choices) our husbands are not our daddies.  They are just guys, who need help as much as the rest of us, who have dreams and (usually) strong sexual desires when they're young.  I do fault him for cheating....but really only on a purely  moral basis.  I completely understand that he can only take so much.  He was willing to take care of her for years and wanted her to get healthy so they could have sex.  He SAID it!   To put the guy down (not posters here, I mean Lupe) for a completely natural desire that was getting no satisfaction because of her choices - not that she was in a car accident and incapacitated but ate herself to incapacity - is completely unreasonable.  Lupe, I understand that you have emotional issues.  Your childhood story was a nightmare and you have my sympathy.  But it is not his job to fix that, because he can't.  I'm sure if I had a back and forth conversation here I would find more nuance to it, but overall these are my thoughts.  Frustrating!

[Granny58]

I am surprising myself by giving Gilbert a "pass" on his cheating.  I've never seen a spouse more loving, devoted and hard working on this series. Yet, we all have "needs", and the poor guy needed some escape.  Somehow he was able to justify loving his wife and yet find comfort from other sources, and I really can't blame him a bit.

 

Something about Lupe's right foot was off and maybe I missed if they addressed it.  Her right foot pointed completely sideways, never forward.  Was it a hip dislocation or some other deformity?  Although I believe her inability to get up and walk was for the most part psychological, the foot issue might have contributed to the problem.

 

It continues to deeply disturb me that these people show no means of supporting themselves yet manage to keep a fairly decent roof over their heads, afford months of hospital/medical care and TONS and TONS of fast food.  I can only guess that I am working my butt off, budgeting carefully and living paycheck to paycheck in order to involuntarily support these folks. 

Everything you said Suzee....everything.

I guess I'm not as forgiving of Gilbert as others too. My take was he hooked up with Lupe as a caregiver, his "job" is wiping her ass and buying her food and he has plenty of time to get some on the side. They probably married because the benefits were greater that way. He is a charmer and sweet-talker, which we in spades during the episode. I do think he cares for her but I also think he is done with the whole situation after 8 years. The con has run it's course. Lupe knows it too and that is why she refuses to walk. Who else is going to take care of her?

 

I didn't realize this was a 2-hour episode, so when it was at the 55 minute mark I thought we were going to get our first 600 pound death. 

Oh.....good insight.  I'll bet you are right. 

[Dharma]

It is both sad and frustrating watching the episode, again. I felt so bad for Lupe when she was stuck on the toilet. I can't blame her for being a bit hysterical. I would be humiliated. This show always gives me gratitude for being able to get up and go and even just standing up! Yes, I realize they are causing the problems themselves but I empathize I suppose as I have a history of addiction. I hope they have a follow-up episode and Lupe finds her way out of the wheelchair. 

[MarysWetBar]

Not gonna lie. I had a horrific day at work and this channel just happened to be on while i was trying to destress on my couch. I had decided i was too tired to cook so would treat myself to something fast. Not burgers but perhaps something premade at the grocery store across the street. After the opening scenes of this show,and watching her cram burritos in her face, i got off my ass and made a veggie stirfry: peppers,onions, mushrooms and green beans. Cut up half a chicken breast and called it a day.

This show inspires me to never get this way. Food IS like a drug. These people are so so sick!

Lolz @ hubby sharing the gospel alongside his schlong.

Well played, Gilbert.

Edited April 1, 2016 by MarysWetBar

[fonfereksglen]

Watched this episode last week, and sort of tuned in to the pop-up video version a few times.  A question - did one of the pop-ups say that Lupe would sometimes eat $30 of fast food a meal?  Or a day?  I'm horrified, but not surprised, by either answer. 

 

This story was too much. 

[Barb23]

Watched this episode last week, and sort of tuned in to the pop-up video version a few times.  A question - did one of the pop-ups say that Lupe would sometimes eat $30 of fast food a meal?  Or a day?  I'm horrified, but not surprised, by either answer. 

 

This story was too much.

On last night's Bonus scenes episode, it did say something like that. There was also another pop up that stated the number of fast food or carryout meals she ate. I forgot the number but it figured out to be almost every meal.

[Morgalisa]

On last night's Bonus scenes episode, it did say something like that. There was also another pop up that stated the number of fast food or carryout meals she ate. I forgot the number but it figured out to be almost every meal.

 

Yes, it said she ate between 12 and 21 take out meals per week.  Those were enormous meals she was ordering and with the stashing tacos in her purse, I'm sure it was actually more than she admitted to.  The pop up also said that Lupe was a drug addict 12 years ago.  I wonder show she got around to get her drugs.  This was before Gilbert, so someone was bringing drugs to her.  On the original airing when the psychologist came, that was the second time she had visited them.  The first time she came to talk to Lupe (and Gilbert left the room) about why she seemed unable to stick to her diet.  The second time she came back to talk about why Lupe was unable to walk. At $30 dollars a pop, that is almost $100 per day that she was spending on food just for herself.

[Barb23]

I could barely understand or comprehend what Lupe was saying to the psychologist when they were alone. She said something along the lines of she didn't want to discuss whatever topic then. Good grief, that's what the psychologist is there for & you have to open up for her to help. It may be she didn't want it filmed, but tell them to stop filming so you can spill your guts. (Ha ha, no pun intended.)

That was interesting about the drug thing & I was wondering how she got them too. One addiction to another. The drugs were probably cheaper.

[vmcd88]

I was repulsed/yet fascinated by her stashing the Taco in the purse.  I found myself saying out loud when her husband was outside dumping the trash "hurry up girl eat that taco, he's coming back."  This show brings out the weird in me.

[notyrmomma]

It was $30 a day in fast food.  I wonder where she got the cash that was in her purse?  Also, why does someone who has been bed bound for the last decade need a purse?  Just to stash tacos?

Edited April 2, 2016 by notyrmomma

[Muffyn]

She may control the money in the household.  It would fit within their dynamic.  Gilbert would cash the checks and give her the cash.  She would dole it out as needed. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Would Gilbert have been so shocked and upset to see her eat an extra burrito that she had to hide it in her purse?

 

Lupe, and many people on this show, seem to be possessed by "cravings" - it's a word I never use.  i am hungry therefore I eat... but "cravings?"  Their lives are dominated by those cravings.

 

For all the psychological mumbo jumbo and "comfort eating" one has to be blind not to see the power of genetics.  Her niece Maricela was on her way to 600 lbs.  Many of the show participants have extremely obese relatives.