S04.E16: Bitch Ghost

[OnceSane]

When Stassi runs into her former crew members at Lala's house party, Scheana must finally answer for her part in Stassi's sex tape scandal; Jax brags about his girlfriend's breast enhancement; Tom Schwartz lands in hot water after he quits his job.

[teapot]

 

 Tom Schwartz lands in hot water after he quits his job.

 

oh, no, did Gordo fire him from being a "stay-at-home-Dad"?

[Ubiquitous]

Shwartzie had a job?

Why would Stassi be at LaLa's house party?

[heatherchandler]

 

When Stassi runs into her former crew members at Lala's house party, Scheana must finally answer for her part in Stassi's sex tape scandal; Jax brags about his girlfriend's breast enhancement; Tom Schwartz lands in hot water after he quits his job.

 

 

Quits his "job" of promoting Lisa's stupid fucking disgusting sangria???  How much do you want to bet it was not a paid position?  Didn't ugly Pandora say something about the position not being a paid gig?  They were going to be interns or some crap?

 

Lisa and ugly Pandora both have so much money.  GOD FORBID they pay people who work for them. 

[Ubiquitous]

Quits his "job" of promoting Lisa's stupid fucking disgusting sangria???  How much do you want to bet it was not a paid position?  Didn't ugly Pandora say something about the position not being a paid gig?  They were going to be interns or some crap?

 

Lisa and ugly Pandora both have so much money.  GOD FORBID they pay people who work for them. 

To be fair, moneyed millionaire Lisa Vanderbucks didn't suggest they work for free, but she was shrewd enough for once to go along with the Toms' idea.

[Duke2801]

heatherchandler, on 11 Feb 2016 - 4:48 PM, said:

Quits his "job" of promoting Lisa's stupid fucking disgusting sangria???  How much do you want to bet it was not a paid position?  Didn't ugly Pandora say something about the position not being a paid gig?  They were going to be interns or some crap?

 

Lisa and ugly Pandora both have so much money.  GOD FORBID they pay people who work for them. 

 

??? I'm pretty sure they pay all of their SUR, Pump and Villa Blanca employees.

[heatherchandler]

??? I'm pretty sure they pay all of their SUR, Pump and Villa Blanca employees.

They don't pay them much, it is like $50,000/season.  That is not a lot of money.

 

The Toms were told by Pandora, at the meeting at her office, that they would be interns.  Or am I mis-remembering?

[Ubiquitous]

The Toms were told by Pandora, at the meeting at her office, that they would be interns.  Or am I mis-remembering?

No, they volunteered to work for free, much to Pandora and her mother's surprise.

[heatherchandler]

No, they volunteered to work for free, much to Pandora and her mother's surprise.

 

Ok I totally mis-understood that scene.  Why would they do that??  I wonder if that is real or reality-show-fake.

[ParadoxLost]

That title...I'm envisioning a replacement show for WWHL where Stassi interviews the talking head clips from all the VPR and Housewife shows.

 

Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast

[walnutqueen]

They don't pay them much, it is like $50,000/season.  That is not a lot of money.

 

Lisa and Pandora are not responsible for paying them to appear on VPR.

[heatherchandler]

Lisa and Pandora are not responsible for paying them to appear on VPR.

Of course they are. Lisa and Ken are producers. Bravo is the network but the producers hire the talent and decide who gets how much.

Edited February 14, 2016 by heatherchandler

[OnceSane]

That title...I'm envisioning a replacement show for WWHL where Stassi interviews the talking head clips from all the VPR and Housewife shows.

 

Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast

You will not sully Space Ghost this way.

[BogoGog24]

They get way more than $50,000 per season by now. Those were old numbers. First season I believe it was $5,000 for the entire season (which was only something like 8-10 episodes anyway), then the next season it was upped to that much per episode (I think), now I have no idea what it is but they've definitely raised it. There's an average of 20 episodes per season, so when you add it all up it's quite a hefty sum they're getting for just appearing on TV and acting like idiots. Add to this their actual salaries from SUR which I assume are not much but they also make good tips. And some of them do outside work such as modeling. 

[Ubiquitous]

"Bitch Ghost" reminds me of "Bitch Pudding" on Robot Chicken.

[ScoobieDoobs]

They get way more than $50,000 per season by now. Those were old numbers. First season I believe it was $5,000 for the entire season (which was only something like 8-10 episodes anyway), then the next season it was upped to that much per episode (I think), now I have no idea what it is but they've definitely raised it. There's an average of 20 episodes per season, so when you add it all up it's quite a hefty sum they're getting for just appearing on TV and acting like idiots. Add to this their actual salaries from SUR which I assume are not much but they also make good tips. And some of them do outside work such as modeling. 

 

This makes sense.  If I were to make a guess, I'd say the most of the chucklefucks (not James or Lala or even Peter) are making around 100 thou per season.  Not bad, but given how they're giving away their souls to be filmed for this thing, and without the chucklefucks there would be no show, they should be making a helluva lot more than that.  Why do I think 100 thou & not much more?  Cuz we see their lives haven't changed much.  They don't seem like they're struggling (except for Stassi, of course, and that's her own fault for ditching the show & thinking she was too good for it -- dumbass that she was).  But they still live in the same meh places & drive the same average-looking cars.

 

As far as the Toms & them suggesting being unpaid interns?  Well, ya kinda have to understand it in terms of how that really translates.  Means more cam time.  Even if Schwartzie quits this non-gig, it still means more cam time for him.  I would think that's a good thing.

 

Stassi mingling with Lala, who we've only see act & speak like the kind of gal Stassi would casually dismiss as a skank, seems odd to me.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Quits his "job" of promoting Lisa's stupid fucking disgusting sangria??? 

 

Just curious -- have you tried it & found it "disgusting"?  Hate to admit this (yeah, I really do, while hiding head in shame & embarrassment), but I've been to SUR, Pump & Villa Bianca & never had the sangria.  I'm not big on sangria, except in Spanish restaurants (where it's usually quite good, if potent), cuz it can be too sweet & icky, but I'd be willing to try a bottle of LVP's.  i just looked over at the site & the distribution seems a bit weird in my area in NYC.  Still, maybe I might get a bottle next time I'm near the Stew Leonard's in Jersey & report back.

 

http://lvpsangria.com/buy-lvp/

 

Their distribution is hardly that of Skinny Girl's, but that's because SG has the backing of a huge liquor co. & LVP doesn't, but they do seem to have a lot of distribution in spite of it.  Pandy's hot piece husb accomplished this?  Really?  Hope we get to see the Toms promoting this stuff.  I'd like to see Schwartzie actually working a job (some job, any job), that is, where he isn't jumping up & down, showing off his skinny/doughy dad bod.

[Teddybear]

 

Why would Stassi be at LaLa's house party?

 

When Stassi moved away, Lala moved in with her roommate.  It was a joke when Jax and Lala were initially flirting, that Jax was STILL trying to get into Stassi's bed….(ew).  

 

I'm assuming that's how Stassi got the invite.  

[heatherchandler]

Just curious -- have you tried it & found it "disgusting"?

No- I have to admit I have not, but I find everything having to do with Lisa disgusting.

I do have a friend who went to SUR and she tried it and hated it. I love sangria, even the cheap stuff but I still don't want to try Lisa's swill.

[The Mighty Peanut]

That title...I'm envisioning a replacement show for WWHL where Stassi interviews the talking head clips from all the VPR and Housewife shows.

 

Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast

 

EVERY time I see this title I think Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast with Stassi as Space Ghost and Kristen as the praying mantis looking alien (forgot his name, it's been a long time).

[nexxie]

So creepy to see Stassi slither her way back into their lives - Sssssss!

Edited February 16, 2016 by nexxie

[nexxie]

Schwartz had to invite Stassi to the engagement party for the show - or did he? That's the only thing that makes sense.

[jkitty]

Shay should never be allowed to talk. Who knew Scheana was doing the world a favor by constantly cutting him off and talking over him?

[ScoobieDoobs]

Yeah, Shay sounds like a moron -- even in this crew of chucklefucks.

 

Jax is a pig.  That's it.  Oh yeah -- oink, oink, Jaxie-poo.

 

Brittany, not sure why, but I really wanna like you . . . so hun, why in the fuckety fuck are you still with this ape-face loser pig?

[ivygirl]

Just curious -- have you tried it & found it "disgusting"?  Hate to admit this (yeah, I really do, while hiding head in shame & embarrassment), but I've been to SUR, Pump & Villa Bianca & never had the sangria.  I'm not big on sangria, except in Spanish restaurants (where it's usually quite good, if potent), cuz it can be too sweet & icky, but I'd be willing to try a bottle of LVP's.  i just looked over at the site & the distribution seems a bit weird in my area in NYC.  Still, maybe I might get a bottle next time I'm near the Stew Leonard's in Jersey & report back.

 

http://lvpsangria.com/buy-lvp/

I confess: I have tried both the pink and red versions. And, I enjoyed them both! They sell them at Buca di Beppo. (Otherwise, I can't find it nearby.) I mean, I'm not going to say it's Opus One or anything, but to enjoy on a lazy afternoon? It totally fits the bill.

Full disclosure: Though I love real sangria, I also don't mind bottled sangria... it's pretty dangerous, tho, because it sneaks up on you. The LVP version is close to my very very favorite bottled sangria, which is no longer available for purchase. So if, in the near future, it's available from BevMo or something, I'd go for it.

And, for the record, I find Skinnygirl GROSS.

EVERY time I see this title I think Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast with Stassi as Space Ghost and Kristen as the praying mantis looking alien (forgot his name, it's been a long time).

Zorak.

And... Schwartzie would play the role of Brak! "Mashed potatoes... sweet potatoes.."

On to this episode... It didn't really do anything for me, except basically solidify my opinion of all the SURvers. However, it kept the James stuff to a minimum, for which I was grateful.

Because it bears repeating: Jax is gross.

And, the whole argument about who's top dog was totally stupid. Are these people in junior high?

[RubberDuckie]

Watching Jax take a swig from that liquor bottle during his argument with FITom was pathetic. Perhaps the most pathetic scene I've ever seen him in. Jax is so pathetic. What a poor excuse for a 36 year old man. They should show that scene to teenagers to warn them about the dangers of not knowing what "you want to be when you grow up." I have second hand embarrassment for his mother.

Lala is a low rent bitch. So dislikable.

Stassi is a special type of asshole.

[WhosThatGirl]

This episode made me laugh a lot. Some of it felt very vintage vanderpumpy, but not enough vintage vanderpumpy, like, no one got hit in the face and that needs to happen soon. But Shay gave a totally awesome talking head about Stassi being a ghost who is a bitch or something. Seriously, so many people called Stassi a bitch tonight I just want her to be like, "it's Stassi, bitch!" whenever she gets somewhere. I miss Old Stassi. Old Stassi would have done that. This Stassi who sits in the corners at parties is not fun to watch. Play a part. That's why you are here.

 

Lala's housewarming party looked like the worst party ever.

[Silo]

Jax is definitely on something besides alcohol.

[heatherchandler]

Jax is definitely on something besides alcohol.

That was my takeaway from the episode.

I think Shwartz even mentioned something, alluding to that.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Salivating over nakey pic of Lisa made me cringe.  Um, scripted much . .  by Lisa?  Ya think?  Or were the chucklefucks merely playing up to boss-lady (and producer of the show) Lisa?  Nah, that gives 'em too much credit for having any more than a teensy-weensy bit of brain power between the 3 of those noodnicks.

 

So Stassi supposedly believed Schemer about not spreading around her sex vid.  Me?  Not so much.  I don't trust Schemer for one second.

[Ubiquitous]

I was bored, and I don't think it was entirely mypost-surgical meds either.

How's Silent Shay's drug recovery going, Schemer?

Was my vision going or did Jax look super sweaty and red in the face at the party when he was telling Britney which fun bags he was purchasing?

[tenativelyyours]

I still think the only person who was trying to spread Stassi's sex tape around was Stassi.  All the broad hints before this season always seemed to come from her.  I think no one was interested and it got left in the hands of Frank.  Along with several of her unfinished Etsy attempts and some valuables that Frank held onto and she wanted.  But he wouldn't give her until she paid her half of whatever he had paid the full $1800.  Maybe he wanted his half of the security deposit?  And Lisa ponied up.  My guess if she could have found a decent distributor like the "stolen" Kim Kardashian tape, it would have been out faster than Tom Schwartz can flee a job.  She then got involved with someone else who is also a self-absorbed asshole who would not be happy with a sex tape floating around so it became an issue of keeping it under wraps. 

 

I'm kind of sad that the one real aspect of the show gets swept under the rug every time they try to reboot Stassi and Scheana.  Even when they are pretending to be friends on camera, Scheana clearly feels like she is playing with a cobra she isn't sure is dead and Stassi can't help but let the contempt for Scheana ooze off her like sweat off the Jax-ass any time he simply breathes.  Boy he is so disgusting just to look at. 

[The Mighty Peanut]

That was my takeaway from the episode.

I think Shwartz even mentioned something, alluding to that.

 

Was this on the show? What did Shwartz say? (I agree with you, btw. I just missed this allusion).

 

The Lisa pic was totally scripted. She is still holding a grudge about being called an old woman by Stassi, so she literally had a sign made and had production instruct Jax to refer to her as a masturbation material while Tom Shwartz mourned having to settle with his young, beautiful girlfriend.

Edited February 16, 2016 by The Mighty Peanut

[ghoulina]

I'm so thrilled that Shay gave us our title. His "bitch ghost" commentary was everything! Also - the jean shorts. He really IS Silent Bob!

 

Lala, stop saying, "My Sur family". No one likes you. 

 

Arianna called Schwartz weak? Take a seat. He handled Stassi like a BOSS. Meanwhile, you're the one crying in a unicorn horn because your boyfriend is going out of town without you. 

 

The Toms jamming out in the car to that ridiculous song was just awesome. 

 

It sucks that Schwartz keeps bailing on people, but was the Sangria thing really some big career move? Promoting liquor in nightclubs? Eh. 

 

No more Aleks? Boo

 

Jax is just a gross old man. Leering over Lisa's picture. Insisting Brittany get the boobs HE wants. Declaring he is the leader of the group, as he swills liquor from the bottle. Just pathetic. I hope they all kick his ass to the curb!

[Primetimer]

While Stassi continued to annex territory to the west of Katie, Vanderpump Rules gave Jax just enough coke to hang himself with. ...Rope! Just enough rope.

Read the story

[Duke2801]

Shay definitely isn't the sharpest tool in the VanderShed, but I was living for his "bitch ghost" commentary!

 

Having just watched season 1 and part of season 2, I was reminded all over again what a perfectly horrific excuse for a human being that Stassi is. This "nice" (ish) persona she's shilling now is 99% BS and maybe 1% missing Katie.  And her bleached hair and lip injections look like shit.

 

Kristen and her revolving door of hipster doofus "dates" is sad, but amusing.

 

I would go into detail about how Jax continues to be the worst, but isn't that really like saying "water is wet"? I mean, no need to state the blatant obvious!  And his appearance continues on the downward spiral, too. I must say - again harkening back to Season 1 - he used to be a pretty good looking guy.  But now? Sweaty, gross, and .... sweaty.   

Edited February 16, 2016 by Duke2801

[Bluedog100]

Sporadic viewer here, but Jax is exhibiting definite signs of being on speed.  At the rate he is going he will die of a heart attack by age 40. I can not believe that this pig is being paid to infiltrate our airwaves. Or that I am sucker enough to occasionally watch his trainwreck self.

[eurekagirl mOo]

Wait,wait,wait.....Did Jax say Brittany was working "at the Playboy Mansion" that night????? Girlfriend is NOT that innocent as she makes out. She moved to LA after she met a guy on Instagram who is ON A TV SHOW and moved in with him......now she's on TV and getting brand new big boobies for FREE she doesn't even remotely need.Oh and her boyfriend gets arrested and put in jail and she just goes "Oh it's ok." Yeah...because it gets you airtime. Sit down Felecia.

[Ubiquitous]

Ok I totally mis-understood that scene.  Why would they do that??  I wonder if that is real or reality-show-fake.

If memory serves, Shwartzie panicked and blurted it out at the meeting.

 

Just curious -- have you tried it & found it "disgusting"?  Hate to admit this (yeah, I really do, while hiding head in shame & embarrassment), but I've been to SUR, Pump & Villa Bianca & never had the sangria.  I'm not big on sangria, except in Spanish restaurants (where it's usually quite good, if potent), cuz it can be too sweet & icky, but I'd be willing to try a bottle of LVP's.  i just looked over at the site & the distribution seems a bit weird in my area in NYC. Still, maybe I might get a bottle next time I'm near the Stew Leonard's in Jersey & report back.

http://lvpsangria.com/buy-lvp/

Holy shit! That WAS her sangria at Bucca di Boppi when I took my visiting sister there! We didn't get it, but I wondered...

 

EVERY time I see this title I think Bitch Ghost Coast to Coast with Stassi as Space Ghost and Kristen as the praying mantis looking alien (forgot his name, it's been a long time).

I believe his name was Brak.

[politichick]

Yeah, Brittany is an idiot. She is going to regret getting big boobs and she's going to look like a boob, What she's got are big enough. Jax is definitely tooting something!

[walnutqueen]

I was sorely disappointed when Jax didn't donate at least ONE chunky sweater to LVP's charity closet.

[bblancobrnx]

Sporadic viewer here, but Jax is exhibiting definite signs of being on speed. At the rate he is going he will die of a heart attack by age 40. I can not believe that this pig is being paid to infiltrate our airwaves. Or that I am sucker enough to occasionally watch his trainwreck self.

My favorite was at the Gay Pride party. Homeboy, ER I mean Homoerectus, looked like he was about to grind his teeth so hard they might shatter! And his eyes looked very very peculiar. It is likely why he sweats continuously...he body is desperately trying to detoxify itself

[HunterHunted]

Here I was meekly singing Jax' praises last week because I thought he wasn't as obnoxiously misogynistic as James and then boom he starts dictating how big his girlfriend's boobs must be. Jax is one big fail!

[mytmo]

There was 1 party guest I wouldn't mind hanging out with was that black dog. Very well behaved.

Also I was waiting for Tom to break a window with his head during his jam session in the car ala A Night at the Roxbury.

[Slider]

 

They don't pay them much, it is like $50,000/season.  That is not a lot of money.

It's not?! That's more than I make in a year, and I'm living comfortably on my one income in a major metropolitan city with my only debt being my house.  Who knew I was poor?  Those poor kids who drink all day and have NO responsibility whatsoever! How will they survive and feed their drug and alcohol habits?!   Those poor kids...

 

Am I the only one that noticed Schaena's eyes go big when Stassi said, "I believe you" in regards to the sex tape? I could just see the bubble above her head that stated "Holy crap, she believed that?! Wow! I got away with it!" 

[heatherchandler]

Was this on the show? What did Shwartz say? (I agree with you, btw. I just missed this allusion).

 

The Lisa pic was totally scripted. She is still holding a grudge about being called an old woman by Stassi, so she literally had a sign made and had production instruct Jax to refer to her as a masturbation material while Tom Shwartz mourned having to settle with his young, beautiful girlfriend.

 

He said something like, "Jax is acting weird, even for Jax.  He seems off..."  I don't remember the quote exactly, but that was where I thought he was going with that.

 

YES that Lisa picture was so scripted.  She looked kind of old in the picture.  Nothing wrong with old women, but I am SURE the guys would not be drooling over that.  They know what side their bread is buttered.

[ghoulina]

He said something like, "Jax is acting weird, even for Jax.  He seems off..."  I don't remember the quote exactly, but that was where I thought he was going with that.

 

Yea, he mentioned several times that Jax had been really weird lately. He said, "I can't figure it out...." or something to that effect, as if he was leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for us to come to our own conclusion. 

[ivygirl]

I am in agreement that Lisa deliberately left that photo out for them to see. 

[Ubiquitous]

Shay should never be allowed to talk. Who knew Scheana was doing the world a favor by constantly cutting him off and talking over him?

Save "Silent Shay"! Did I see him drinking from a bottle of booze at that party (or pretending to by blocking the opening)?

 

And, the whole argument about who's top dog was totally stupid. Are these people in junior high?

I think you are overestimating them.

 

Lala's housewarming party looked like the worst party ever.

Oh my gosh! Did I see them using red solo cup shot glasses? I had no idea they made those! What's next, red solo cup Champaign flutes?

[psychoticstate]

Seeing Flat Iron and Schwartz bopping out in Schwartzie's Mini Cooper was everything.  Can we watch them tool around LA with commentary? 

 

So StASSi is StASSi the Bitchy Ghost?  Thank you, Shay.

 

Jax is a fucking idiot.  He says he wants natural breasts - - Brittany currently has natural breasts, you dipshit. 

 

And WTH with going after Flat Iron about who the number one guy is?  Seriously?  Anyone who is jailed over stealing sunglasses has no right to claim to be numeral uno.  Just saying.

 

Why were Flat Iron and Jax pretending to jack off in the corner at Scheana's pretty pretty princess apartment?  My eyes still hurt from that.

 

Did the Nugget have her hairbrush taken away as some form of punishment?   Either that or she was having a serious case of the static clings at the so-called after party.

 

Kristen, it's okay to be single for more than 5 minutes.