S04.E05: Dottie's Story

[Granny58]

"pizza shrapnel"   LOL

[operalover]

This was incredibly sad.  At least Dottie was aware she was using food like a drug.  I hope she helps her youngest son eat healthier, even if she can't.

 

It was convenient how her sister was there right when the food was delivered.

Food is constantly delivered, Dottie was always starving. I mean Dottie knew the cameras and sister were coming, she could have eaten before they came or eaten something else while they were there. She insisted on the pizza and brownies, no? It doesnt sound like a producer manipulation to me.

 

 

I think Dr Now has them try on there own for a few weeks to see if they can make any changes because if you just get the surgery you wont lose if you dont eat right, it isnt a magic pill. I get why he is doing that. Because in these cases the surgery is so dangerous on a person that size. The person and the doctor are really taking a huge risk, much more so that a 350 pound person on a 650 person. 

[poeticlicensed]

Why did she do all the driving? She always what at the wheel, it was kind of strange especially the way she would have to shove herself into the car, which they showed at least 10 times.

It was our speculation that hubby had a DUI!

 

That makes sense. 

[preciousperfect]

I have to be honest and admit that this point pissed me off a bit.  I have lousy hormones, trouble conceiving, etc.  and I am normal sized and otherwise healthy.  You always read about how being overweight decreases fertility, and messes with your hormones, then somebody who weighs 500 pounds gets pregnant.  I liked Dottie, sympathized with her, but this point (no fault of Dottie's) just bugged.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't begin to imagine the frustration/sadness of infertility. It must absolutely grind your gears to be doing everything you can to be healthy and still not be successful and you see people who are not even remotely trying just getting pregnant like that. 

[stillhere1900]

I don't know if this should go here or in "Small Talk"

 

What I's about to say is strictly 'MY OPINION'.  I totally support the "Right To Die " Bill.  I know the Bill is basely so that terminally ill 'adults' can chose to end their lives.

 

Dottie's son is in a vegetative state. From what was shown, he has ZERO quality of life!  It was very very hard watching him like that. I know she's his mother but why is she keeping him alive like that. How many times has he been resuscitated while in the hospital just to exist?  Because that's all he's doing.

 

I personally don't understand.

[gunderda]

You've clearly never battled a food addiction. It absolutely DOES make you feel better, at least in the short term. Food is an incredible stress reliever for those who use it as a coping mechanism. I've worked very hard to develop other coping strategies, but when things go fubar and I'm stressed or anxious, I know a trip through a drive-through or an ooey gooey brownie would almost instantly lower my anxiety level. It's better than Xanax. I don't do that anymore, but it's still my very first inclination when things go sideways. I have to stop and think and make myself find another way to cope. Most of the time I manage.

 

Yep, food is very good at making you feel better FAST.  However it's just a quick solution.  I don't know about other people but if I use it to make myself feel better I feel extra super shitty not long after eating it.  

 

Even if I have a migraine where I feel like I want to vomit.... food makes me feel better for the moment.  And then I want to vomit even more lol 

[HandBasket]

I don't know if this should go here or in "Small Talk"

What I's about to say is strictly 'MY OPINION'. I totally support the "Right To Die " Bill. I know the Bill is basely so that terminally ill 'adults' can chose to end their lives.

Dottie's son is in a vegetative state. From what was shown, he has ZERO quality of life! It was very very hard watching him like that. I know she's his mother but why is she keeping him alive like that. How many times has he been resuscitated while in the hospital just to exist? Because that's all he's doing.

I personally don't understand.

I totally agree with you on this. I wonder if he had to be resuscitated at birth and ended up brain damaged. I knew a family who had a daughter that was still born but they resuscitated her and she was exactly like Daniel. Absolutely no quality of life whatsoever.

Edited February 5, 2016 by HandBasket

[Motor City]

QUOTE
Dottie's son is in a vegetative state. From what was shown, he has ZERO quality of life!  It was very very hard watching him like that. I know she's his mother but why is she keeping him alive like that. How many times has he been resuscitated while in the hospital just to exist?  Because that's all he's doing.

I personally don't understand.

stillhere1900 – I agree with you 100% - I was thinking the same thing

[ClareWalks]

I really cannot even imagine what goes through the mind and heart of someone who has a disabled child. Especially such a profound disability. It must be difficult, perhaps impossible, for most people to "let go" of their child, even if they don't have much quality of life. I see your points totally and completely, I just don't know what I would do in that situation. I'd like to think I'd do what was best for my son.

 

Re: infertility at her size, I was absolutely gobsmacked that she had a biological child that was 1 year old. Shocked. I too suffered infertility at a normal size/weight (not hormonal issues, though, and I now have a baby at last) and I know a lot about fertility. Normally people's fertility is dramatically reduced if they are over 300 pounds, because their hormones are generally fucked. Not to mention how ill-advised it is to get pregnant at that size because you are much more likely to have serious complications and require a C-section, which becomes far more complicated when you have that much abdominal fat. The fact that she had a baby at 550 lb is definitely kind of a slap in the face of infertile people who are trying to make themselves as healthy as possible to even stand a chance of pregnancy. It's not Dottie's fault she is fertile, but yeah, I can see how that bugs the shit out of someone.

[Pepperminty]

The sister really was beautiful.

 

The disabled son is mentally alert right? He's just trapped in that body? I hope someone reads to him or provides some kind of stimulation.

 

I don't understand the butt wings -- what are they again? I remember the woman from last season who couldn't wear pants with her wings. But this woman was able to do so. It's all confusing to me.

 

Driving without the headrest behind you puts you at risk for major whiplash. She must have a strong back, I couldn't drive like that.

[ethalfrida]

This was incredibly sad.  At least Dottie was aware she was using food like a drug.  I hope she helps her youngest son eat healthier, even if she can't.

 

It was convenient how her sister was there right when the food was delivered.

I don't think that was a set-up. As someone posted, food delivery was a constant thing. And, some people host that way. Company comes and you order food in or you prepare something.

 

I didn't find that odd but I do find that the people featured for the surgery have to humiliate themselves as they do. Not just this show but on most of the weight loss shows. How many here will still watch if they didn't show the them gobbling down Wimpy sized platters of hamburgers, the nakedness, the cleaning of their bodies? I would still watch. And I am still frightened by that one chick who threw her legs up and exposed her privates full frontal to the camera. Have used tons of brain bleach to no avail...

[Singingflutist]

Did I see it wrong or did her husband put an entire bag if shredded cheese on her salad.

[Noirprncess]

Did I see it wrong or did her husband put an entire bag if shredded cheese on her salad.

Nope you saw that correctly. I was counting those calories out loud at that point. It's sad to see.

I figure that she wasn't necessarily eating 30k calories, but drinking a good number of them. DH had a co worker that would drink two full 2-liter bottles of soda a day. So if you drink all kinds of sugary drinks all day long, that could easily account for 2 to 3K of cals before having one bite of food.

Edited February 5, 2016 by Noirprncess

[Pdxblonde]

Nope you saw that correctly. I was counting those calories out loud at that point. It's sad to see.

I figure that she wasn't necessarily eating 30k calories, but drinking a good number of them. DH had a co worker that would drink two full 2-liter bottles of soda a day. So if you drink all kinds of sugary drinks all day long, that could easily account for 2 to 3K of cals before having one bite of food.

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

[OhioMom]

I don't think that was a set-up. As someone posted, food delivery was a constant thing. And, some people host that way. Company comes and you order food in or you prepare something.

 

I didn't find that odd but I do find that the people featured for the surgery have to humiliate themselves as they do. Not just this show but on most of the weight loss shows. How many here will still watch if they didn't show the them gobbling down Wimpy sized platters of hamburgers, the nakedness, the cleaning of their bodies? I would still watch. And I am still frightened by that one chick who threw her legs up and exposed her privates full frontal to the camera. Have used tons of brain bleach to no avail...

I think either they are desensitized to the workings of their daily lives or how their naked bodies look, or they are so desperate for help, they will do it.   What I've noticed (and I don't know the inner workings of these shows) but a lot of them have really nice cars, and even when they move to Texas to be near Dr. Now, halfway through their treatment, they're driving a different car. I don't get that. Maybe there are a lot of carrots dangled before their noses to get them to humiliate themselves on national tv.

Edited February 5, 2016 by OhioMom

[OhioMom]

I said to DH as well, "that child has no quality of life."

However, the show is only an hour long, and heavily edited.  We only get a glimpse into their life, so who knows? Maybe he does enjoy a moderate degree of a normal life with interaction, etc.  I know a couple whose son was severely handicapped.  He had meningitis shortly after birth, and they were missionaries in a remote village.  They couldn't get medical help fast enough.  At any rate, they interacted with him and felt that he interacted with them as well in a meaningful way, even though he could not speak, walk, feed or toilet himself.  I might have looked at that child and said, "He has not quality of life", but they lived with him day in and day out, and they felt differently.

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

She may have dentures.

[non sequitur]

Food is constantly delivered, Dottie was always starving. I mean Dottie knew the cameras and sister were coming, she could have eaten before they came or eaten something else while they were there. She insisted on the pizza and brownies, no? It doesnt sound like a producer manipulation to me.

Agreed about the food.

 

I feel like Dottie really needed a friend or some other support instead of a personal attack from her sister.  

 

It bothered me that her son is unable to consent to being filmed on tv like that.

[Noirprncess]

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

The great wonder of life, honestly. Look at all that abuse Keith Richards had heaped on his body. Still alive.

But, the co worker gained a ton of weight, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

Meanwhile, I have a hard time choking down a 12 oz soda in one setting.

[Sile]

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

 

A lot of the time, they don't.  There have been a lot of gap-toothed grills on this show.

 

I was wondering why the husband didn't drive, but it looks like they might have put a bench type seat in for the driver seat and he feels he can't drive safely without a back to the seat.

 

I could do without the requisite shower and grocery store trip, but I do think that the mindless shoveling of food is valid because that is their ormal.  I know that makes  me think a lot more about my eating and exercise habits while watching  as opposed seeing the washing with long handled brushes and tossing an entire dessert case in their motorized cart while bystanders gape.  

 

i will admit to giving props to the foley artist for the "glug, glug, glug" as Dottie pounded that can of Coke.  Assuming it was editing...

Edited February 6, 2016 by Sile

[auntjess]

On why Dottie drove, I thought it was because that was the only seat in the car where she fit.
I guess she has to do some driving, so that back was removed, but I think when she went home from the hospital, her husband drove there to pick her up, but then she drove home.

[Noirprncess]

Maybe she drives so that her husband can tend to the kids. I couldn't imagine her being able to do anything once she's seated. He could turn around and address issues as needed.

[Granny58]

Agreed about the food.

 

I feel like Dottie really needed a friend or some other support instead of a personal attack from her sister.  

 

It bothered me that her son is unable to consent to being filmed on tv like that.

well, he is only 12.  The other son is unable to consent as well.  Part of being a minor.

[stillhere1900]

My husband thinks the son gets monthly *Disability checks and those will stop once he dies.

[goodbyeglittergirl]

I agree that Dottie could use some support. I hope there's support around her that maybe we just didn't see. Her husband seemed nice, but her sister did not and I hope she has a few good friends in her life to prop her up and keep her going. She deals with a lot. 

 

As someone with fertility issues myself, the people I resent having babies are people who abuse their kids, kill them, lock them in closets, allow them to be put in positions where they are harmed, etc. I do not resent Dottie's ability to get pregnant - just because she's fat doesn't mean she somehow doesn't deserve a child. 

[Oldernowiser]

My husband thinks the son gets monthly *Disability checks and those will stop once he dies.

Probably...much rather he got money than any politician ever. I'm sure he's not suggesting she's only keeping him alive for the money?

[stillhere1900]

If there isn't a DNR: Do-Not-Resusciate order  on file, the medical staff  has to keep him him alive

[leighroda]

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

I am am avid soda drinker, Dr Pepper is my poison of choice, I don't like coffee, I have been drinking it since I was a child, I easily drink 2-3 dr peppers a day... And I just got my first cavity at 33.

[Granny58]

"As someone with fertility issues myself, the people I resent having babies are people who abuse their kids, kill them, lock them in closets, allow them to be put in positions where they are harmed, etc. I do not resent Dottie's ability to get pregnant - just because she's fat doesn't mean she somehow doesn't deserve a child."

 

And nobody said she didn't deserve children.  Only that it is baffling, and hard to take, when someone who weighs 500 pounds is able to conceive. 

[Granny58]

when Dottie had to go home and make arrangements for her children, but was ready to go 2 days later (am I right?) I was pretty impressed because I would have had a hard time organizing a month of round-the-clock care on short notice.  But then a lightbulb went on.  I have a friend whose daughter is at least as disabled as Dottie's son and they have to jump through hoops EVERY year for the state inspectors, etc. in order to be allowed to continue caring for her.   So I am fairly certain that her son does have other interaction and stimulation etc. since if she's getting disability checks then the state is involved.  So disability checks, state involvement, mandated life enhancement (?), ability to get childcare organized - I'm feeling pretty confident that he doesn't lay in the chair all day with nothing going on.  

[IvySpice]

I'm glad Dottie eventually came around. I hope there's a follow-up next year so we can see whether she actually uses significant weight. It's amazing that she was able to move around and drive; those were some of the worst back wings we've ever seen.

 

I'm a horrible human being, so at the beginning of the show, my husband and I shouted, "How did she manage to get pregnant?!?" Do I even want to know how the logistics can be achieved? How do these enormous people find partners willing to take them on -- especially with a catastrophically and permanently disabled child? That's a tough sell in the marriage market.

 

Of course it's the family's call, but I too was thinking that Dottie's older son appeared to have zero quality of life. It's not clear that he was even tuned into life around him. I felt bad for him and for his little brother.

[stillhere1900]

I'm glad Dottie eventually came around. I hope there's a follow-up next year so we can see whether she actually uses significant weight. It's amazing that she was able to move around and drive; those were some of the worst back wings we've ever seen.

 

I'm a horrible human being, so at the beginning of the show, my husband and I shouted, "How did she manage to get pregnant?!?" Do I even want to know how the logistics can be achieved? How do these enormous people find partners willing to take them on -- especially with a catastrophically and permanently disabled child? That's a tough sell in the marriage market.

 

 

I learned from watching this show that there are actually people who have a "fat Fetish" and there is a group referred to as "chubby chasers"

[islandgal140]

 And when Dottie warbled (re pizza) "Well, my kid's gotta eat." Uh, your kid is two, if he's chowing down on whatever pizza shrapnel escapes your maw, he's not eating, really. It's not for him.

 

LOL! Speaking of pizza shrapnel, that dog sure made out like a bandit when the sister opened the box and a slice fell to the ground. He started chowing down! Take about every dog has his day!

 

I don't understand the butt wings -- what are they again? I remember the woman from last season who couldn't wear pants with her wings. But this woman was able to do so. It's all confusing to me.

 

I thought Dottie had more training wheels butt wings. 

 

I feel like Dottie is the first patient I ever saw on this show really shoveling food in her mouth. Everyone else they featured seemed to eat more at a normal pace more or less but Dottie was shown eating those mashed potatoes like if she didn't down them in 30 seconds or less someone would come and take the plate away. 

[CarolMK]

Even though Dottie did fairly well overall by the end of the episode, I don't think she will be able to keep the weight off for the long term. We saw how much difficulty she has coping with her older son's special needs and when she becomes overwhelmed with stress again, she will again turn to food unless she goes into therapy to address her issues.

It didn't say what her husband does for a living, but it always amazes me how the participants on this show are able to order pizza/fast food on a whim. It's about twice

as expensive as frozen food, and if a person doesn't want to cook,  how difficult is it to heat up a frozen meal in the microwave?

[Bugfrey Von]

Clearly Dottie is devoted to her kids, and takes good care of her disabled son, but my god she played the martyr card early and often! "I don't have time to diet, I have to take care of my kids" "I'm so stressed, I have to eat three pizzas and an entire chocolate cake" "I can't talk to you now, I have to feed my baby. My baby is hungry. Go away, my child is inches from starvation and must be fed! How can you be so heartless?" There was a little dash of Penny there, loving the attention. ("oh dear, she's so brave. Her oldest is disabled, you know. She's such an attentive mother!"). Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that she loves her children and does her best for them, but she's in a pattern that was established years ago. She resents her pretty sister and sadly, she sabotages her own life as a result. I'm glad she got the surgery and I hope it helps her, but she needs therapy, and she needs to work with a nutritionist. Switch that soda for water and learn to make your own vinaigrette, which tastes better than any bottled dressing and is at least not terrible for you.

I just saw this episode and I have to agree wholeheartedly with this assessment. Although I can completely understand the stress of having a special needs child, there was a childish delight that Dottie took when eating her pizza in front of her sister and showing her that she can do whatever she wants now! Her husband seemed positively terrified of her. He did try to curb some of her eating when he brought over that bag of chips and asked her how much she wanted, but she quickly nipped that in the bud when she told him "I don't need you to dole out my serving." Positively shitty behavior. As for her cheese salad, it reminds me of this time that I went to a restaurant that had a "healthy" option salad advertised that had fried chicken, 2 types of cheese, croutons, fried onions, bacon and ranch dressing on a bed of iceberg lettuce. At the time, a boggled my mind that this would be healthy in anybody's mind, but seeing Dottie's take on health, I can see that they definitely have a niche market. I sincerely hope that she can get her life in order for the sake of her children, she's going to have to stop using food reward her self and punish her mother for being absent throughout the course of her early life.

[Suzywriter]

The sister's outburst has had an effect on me. The way she exploded "Pie! A chocolate chip pie!" made me pay more attention to my own choices. I realized how many times I have chosen pie when I could have had fruit, yogurt in a fancy flavor or just skipped the sweet part of the meal and been fine.

[MaggieMay638]

Sad to say that Dottie's son Danial died about two months ago after a short hospital stay. I hope she can manage to stay on track to be healthier for her younger child.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 2/4/2016 at 0:18 PM, Noirprncess said:

Lol... Just saying, Dottie wasn't the one doing the contorting.

Even with an infinite number of contortions, I still think her husband still had to have a dick three feet long to get her pregnant.

 

On 2/4/2016 at 3:19 PM, HelloOutThere said:

She could also get herself into her van pretty well (I noticed she did not wear a seat belt),

Seat belts are to keep you from getting thrown around in a crash.  It didn't look like that would be a big issue, even with the back of the seat removed.

 

On 2/5/2016 at 1:43 PM, Pdxblonde said:

How do people who drink that much soda even have any teeth left in their mouth??

If you have food with the soda, it helps scrub the sugar off your teeth.  So...problem solved.

 

Does anybody else use the captions?  Because I did a for-real LOL whenever she said "boiled eggs."  It was captioned "bald eggs."  A guy at my condo association meeting once kept talking about how the bawler needed to be replaced, and the bawler was going to be expensive, and everybody was really confused and finally someone said, "SPELL IT."  And he said, "b-o-i-l-e-r. Bawler."

[millennium]

I happened to see this episode last night.   I don't understand how Dottie elicits any sympathy.   I found her personality to be repellent.  Her self-absorption eclipsed all, even her concern for her son (I hate to say it, but she seemed to use him as justification to keep eating).   Everybody else is wrong, only she knows what's right.  Whether it's the doctor, the meal plan, her sister's attitude -- all flawed, and she alone knows better.  I realize we're talking about an addict and this is classic addict behavior, but if there's a better person under there I didn't see it, not even a glimmer.

I'm idly wondering, is this kind of obesity strictly a modern phenomenon or were there as many people in the past who weighed this much and had to be lifted out of their homes by neighbors or teams of draught-horses or whatever?    I can't see it being tolerated in eras gone by, or enabled (by Dottie's shrinking violet of a husband, for example).   

[dahling]

As a former super obese person, I had so much sympathy for Dottie. Maybe you do have to walk a mile in those shoes to understand what these people are going through. 

 

I think it is only "modern" highly processed, highly addictive, easily available, cheap, high carb food, combined with today's modern sedentary lifestyle that has created this new kind of super obesity. It's hard to become obese when you literally have to wrestle each meal you eat from the earth such as my pioneer ancestors did as recently as 100 years ago. 

[auntjess]

On ‎6‎/‎17‎/‎2016 at 11:12 AM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Does anybody else use the captions? 

Yes.  Some shows have people with accents hard to understand, like Evil Up Close, with British crimes, and other shows too.
So sorry that her son died, but perhaps it was a release for him.  Even though she had pictures of him smiling, in the show, he seemed unable to sit up or smile.
She needs to get better for herself, her son, and her husband.
She was about the most mobile of the super obese people on this show, the way she carried her son around, and did housework.
 

Edited October 14, 2016 by auntjess

[stillhere1900]

On 2/5/2016 at 9:32 AM, stillhere1900 said:

I don't know if this should go here or in "Small Talk"

 

What im about to say is strictly 'MY OPINION'.  I totally support the "Right To Die " Bill.  I know the Bill is basely so that terminally ill 'adults' can chose to end their lives.

 

Dottie's son is in a vegetative state. From what was shown, he has ZERO quality of life!  It was very very hard watching him like that. I know she's his mother but why is she keeping him alive like that. How many times has he been resuscitated while in the hospital just to exist?  Because that's all he's doing.

 

I personally don't understand.

Edited December 12, 2016 by stillhere1900

[notyrmomma]

I get the whole "right to die" thing, but it's also a very slippery slope.  Who are we to judge what one's quality of life is?  I'm not particularly  religious anymore, but I think people are put here and stay here for a reason, and their lives, as crappy as it may look to an outsider, serves a purpose.  But like I said, I fully understand if people want to make that decision, but I am also afraid that people are going to be "shamed" into killing themselves for the greater good.  I have firsthand experience with this.  Very long story short, but Hospice basically "shamed" my family into allowing them to give my dad morphine (which took him within a couple days) when he wasn't suffering or in pain, but just because he was at the end of his life (because he "wasn't going to get better"--he might have if they administered his meds via an enema, but enemas are "gross and humiliating," but I won't get into that here).  So sorry for bringing this down a notch, its still a really touchy subject for me.

[hiimamanda]

I saw a documentary on the Learning Channel about a man who weighed over 600 pounds.

His mother bought pizza for him.  She needs to ask Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah for forgiveness.

Buying a man who weighs over 600 pounds, a pizza, is moving him along faster to a heart attack and him dying.