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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)


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46 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

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Did she just say she was annoyed at having to stretch because her day had already "began"?

Never mind the grammar mistake (it's begun, not began), why is having to stretch because your body needs it annoying? How is that a positive thing to hear from a health coach? When my body's hurting, I can't wait to stretch or move it to help relieve the pain and tension. 

And I can't help it, but every time she mentions a product or website, all I hear in my head is Ka-ching!

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34 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  does she have anyone really paying for these inane posts?  

Sadly there are sheeple out there that lurrrvvvve "celebrities" and probably paid to join up.  Pretty scary, isn't it?

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(edited)
3 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

Did she just say she was annoyed at having to stretch because her day had already "began"?

Never mind the grammar mistake (it's begun, not began), why is having to stretch because your body needs it annoying? How is that a positive thing to hear from a health coach? When my body's hurting, I can't wait to stretch or move it to help relieve the pain and tension. 

And I can't help it, but every time she mentions a product or website, all I hear in my head is Ka-ching!

Remember this?  Apparently Janelle doesn’t.

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Edited by ginger90
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11 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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I noticed the original recipe has 2 tsp of Salt, and 1/3 cup of oil... No wonder they use parchment paper!

The recipe is made with 8 corn tortillas plus the original recipe has waýyyyyyyyyy more peppers both yellow and red... Looks like she omitted the yellow peppers and added twice as much chicken.

At any rate it looks gross!  😲

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If she’s sitting too much it’s her own damn fault.  Try sitting at a desk all week because you have an actual job and then get back to me. 

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And it’s reactive. I have been sitting a lot lately, so now I am stretching out my hips. 

She could have written: I know I will be sitting a lot this upcoming week, so I will be sure to include stretching my hips into my exercise routine.

Or, better yet, she could have said: do you have xyz symptoms? If so, you may need to stretch your hips. You are particularly susceptible to this sort of pain if you sit a lot, like a lot of office workers do. I recommend Rodney Yee.

That would have been more like health coaching. Posting what she does or hasn’t done that day is just a bad personal Facebook post, not a health coach business post.

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Don't most people stretch naturally when part of their body feels tight or stiff?  Even after my day has already started, I'll stretch whatever needs stretching while coffee is brewing or clothes are washing/drying.  I start stretching without even thinking about it, but will do proper stretches when I feel how good it feels.

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21 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:
22 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

2.Those are the most unappetizing fajitas I've ever seen. The veggie/chicken ratio is very unbalanced--the peppers are the best part and there are hardly any there. 

Not to mention the veggies would be less calories. 

I wonder what she ate with it.

My theory is that she tops every meal off with a big bag of Fritos

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16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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Geez, Janelle. "I have heard" being a statement coming from a woman who's supposed to be portraying herself as an educated health professional. She could have said, "According to (insert/cite source/link), stretching your hips releases stress and tension and it's something I do on a regular basis." But she can't say that, because she doesn't do anything on a regular basis except lament about her struggles. 

As some of you have suggested, it seems like she just googles some random health thing to plunk onto her SM, not actually putting anything into practice on a regular basis (cause, you know, her "routine" is always disrupted). 

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Joan of Argh.  Yes about the fajitas.  It should be more peppers and onions and it should be more marinade instead of drowning in oil.  We have a Mexican meat market a few towns over and they sell the meat and veggies ready to cook.  Ideally you would prepare them in a cast iron skillet for the best results, not in the oven.  

Turtle power.  As much as they have been seeing a therapist, Janelle should have been addressing her issues.  I feel these moves are very stressful on Janelle due to trying to make the money issue work.  I think without an actual job she is lost.  Janelle is not cut out for the type of work she is trying to do.   Like you said she doesn't know how to word things in a proper context ( i'm guilty of that ).    Where as Meri uses her boldness and brashness to make great strides in her clothing business.

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21 minutes ago, smarty2020 said:

Does anyone know if Gabe has a twitter?  Was curious if he has posted about how his adjustment to high school in Flagstaff has been.  

No Twitter, as far as I know. This was from 6 days ago on Instagram:

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28 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

Do any of the adults have real jobs and I’m not counting strife, lawsuit leggings or jokers joolery?  I thought Janelle had some sort of state a job in Utah, what field was it in? 

I could be wrong but I think she was a book keeper or something to do with accounting

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(edited)
16 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

Turtle power.  As much as they have been seeing a therapist, Janelle should have been addressing her issues.  I feel these moves are very stressful on Janelle due to trying to make the money issue work.  I think without an actual job she is lost.  Janelle is not cut out for the type of work she is trying to do.   Like you said she doesn't know how to word things in a proper context ( i'm guilty of that ).    Where as Meri uses her boldness and brashness to make great strides in her clothing business.

Until Janelle gets in touch with her real feelings and stops stuffing them trying to "keep sweet" she will never a) lose weight, because she literally stuffs herself to avoid her feelings and b) realize what her personality suits her to do for a career.  Right now she is acting like someone that's given up but isn't aware that they have, and it reflects itself in her weak attitude and performance.  Also, she never stands up for herself.  She lets herself be railroaded by Kody.  Well, they all do to some extent, but she is in reality so against the move, she couldn't even bring herself to show any enthusiasm (fake or genuine) for it and was just like "whatever" to the rest of them making the decisions on where to live without her.  So once again she stuffs her feelings and (shock-surprise), she never loses weight or progresses in a career either.  That this woman could think she has what it takes to be a realtor or a health coach is unbelievable to me.  I am sure it's more than obvious to the people around her but no one says anything about it to her face.  The lack of self awareness is incredible.  Talk about the elephant in the room!

Edited by Yeah No
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8 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Do any of the adults have real jobs and I’m not counting strife, lawsuit leggings or jokers joolery?  I thought Janelle had some sort of state a job in Utah, what field was it in? 

I think Janelle does the accounting/tax work for their production company.  

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(edited)
21 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

Joan of Argh.  Yes about the fajitas.  It should be more peppers and onions and it should be more marinade instead of drowning in oil.  We have a Mexican meat market a few towns over and they sell the meat and veggies ready to cook.  Ideally you would prepare them in a cast iron skillet for the best results, not in the oven.  

Turtle power.  As much as they have been seeing a therapist, Janelle should have been addressing her issues.  I feel these moves are very stressful on Janelle due to trying to make the money issue work.  I think without an actual job she is lost.  Janelle is not cut out for the type of work she is trying to do.   Like you said she doesn't know how to word things in a proper context ( i'm guilty of that ).    Where as Meri uses her boldness and brashness to make great strides in her clothing business.

Agreed. But when does the lightbulb turn on for someone who is running after the train but can't seem to get on? There are a few things I have tried that I really wanted to succeed at, but it wasn't the right fit for me, no matter how hard I tried. Instead of wasting time doing something I wasn't good at (and never would be), I accepted it and moved on. Janelle should do the same. 

But, she's very wishy-washy in just about everything she does. She was a lousy realtor and couldn't be bothered to get up to show her own home. Maybe life in this family has made her this way, which is sad (but I'm not cutting her any slack on being a terrible "coach"). 

Edited by TurtlePower
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On 3/3/2019 at 8:57 AM, lookeyloo said:

My theory is that she tops every meal off with a big bag of Fritos

Peanut-butter Fritos, made in that handy baking tray, already coated with grease and butter from the chicken fajita recipe so those Fritos just slide right off and onto Janelle's waiting lap.

"Hey, guys!  Since I've only moved from the couch to the fridge to the bathroom to bed and back all week long, I was stunned to discover that after a week, my hips no longer worked!  I guess when you sit a lot, it means your muscles aren't actually working!  Who knew?  I was DESPERATE to move because my Fritos were starting to burn in the oven!  And I was super annoyed because I had just started season 4 of The Great British Baking show and I didn't actually want to get up!  So after crawling to the oven and rescuing dinner, I very reluctantly changed over to the Yoga channel and located this guy named Rodney Yee, whose name shows up a lot so he must be pretty good!  Now, I am no expert (despite the fact that I am a "certified life coach" and get paid $35 per sucker client) but it turns out that you need your muscles to stand upright!  As well as move!  So for me stretching my hips helps me walk!  And walking is usually good!"

Make your checks out to "Strive With Janelle."

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23 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

What I don't understand is why they have a realtor at all.

Why on earth would you pay a realtor to sell your houses when you have a realtor in the family?

Because she tried and failed. Janelle had the houses priced too high and was ineffective at the open houses (according to a PTVer who went). Plus, it IS tough being the realtor when she lives four hours away. 

Now, if Janelle had stayed in Vegas, with Gabe, and really invested in selling, I bet it would have worked out. Maybe. We are talking about Janelle here.

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4 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Because she tried and failed. Janelle had the houses priced too high and was ineffective at the open houses (according to a PTVer who went). Plus, it IS tough being the realtor when she lives four hours away. 

Now, if Janelle had stayed in Vegas, with Gabe, and really invested in selling, I bet it would have worked out. Maybe. We are talking about Janelle here.

Oh OK.. I wasn't aware of all that.

Still seems like a huge expense for nothing and like you said.. She could have stayed behind with Gabe which would have made him happier too.

She's so lazy... All the other wives went with Kody to see Flagstaff but the blob couldn't even do that.

I guess sitting in a car and then walking around properties is too much activity for her.  🙄

Yep... Keep on Striving as long as that means not lifting her huge butt off the couch.

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On 3/3/2019 at 1:07 PM, ginger90 said:

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She's not an expert on exercise..... but she's a health coach? Who paid $6K for her certificate thing? WTF is a health coach doing not knowing enough about exercise to point a beginner in the right direction. 'Hire a personal trainer...' awesome advice! So worth the monthly subscription to Stife with Janelle. 

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40 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

Not to be rude but nothing about Janelle says health coach.  

I agree and it's typical for that family.

Meri is a nasty ill-tempered witch with absolutely ZERO fashion sense 

Sobyn has ZERO artistic abilities so she's the joolry designer.

So I guess it only makes sense for the largest, unhealthiest looking wife to choose Health Coach as her profession.

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(edited)
16 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Oh OK.. I wasn't aware of all that.

Still seems like a huge expense for nothing and like you said.. She could have stayed behind with Gabe which would have made him happier too.

She's so lazy... All the other wives went with Kody to see Flagstaff but the blob couldn't even do that.

I guess sitting in a car and then walking around properties is too much activity for her.  🙄

Yep... Keep on Striving as long as that means not lifting her huge butt off the couch.

Bwahahahahahahaa! The Blob! Well done. 

She is a blob, figuratively and mentally. She didn't even advocate for Gabe when faced with the reality of the move. When a kid is that invested in sports in HS and is really good, that's a pretty heartless. In fact, she reminds me of that blob fish from Men in Black 3 (not sorry):

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Edited by TurtlePower
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Her posts almost sound as if they could be generated by someone who barely speaks English as a second language, who just cuts and pastes a few sentences from a Wiki article on massage or something.  (no disrespect to any ESL individuals)

I am disturbed to know there are people who would be willing to pay for such "advice." 

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6 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Bwahahahahahahaa! The Blob! Well done. 

She is a blob, figuratively and mentally. She didn't even advocate for Gabe when faced with the reality of the move. When a kid is that invested in sports in HS and is really good, that's a pretty heartless. In fact, she reminds me of that blob fish from Men in Black 3 (not sorry):

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Bwahahahaaaa!!  Omg that's perfect. 😂

The thing that really bugs me about Janelle is how comfortable she is with doing as little as possible.

She wallows in her laziness and always does the bare minimum when it comes to Strive, recipes, information for her members, house keeping, cooking and everything else in her life to the point where she can't even get off the couch to go see where her children will be living and going to school.

She knew Gabe was upset, maybe if she went to Flagstaff and checked things out it would help to reassure him and comfort him a little but NOPE..that would require leaving her house and making an effort.

So she just sits there, washes her hands of the whole affair, she says the others can decide where to live then load her up and haul her fat ass to the new properties. 🙄

She's a realtor (obviously a waste of money) and doesn't even help with that aspect of the move.

Meanwhile Robyn is all over this move for the sake of her son Dayton. 

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1 minute ago, Joan of Argh said:

Meanwhile Robyn is all over this move for the sake of her son Dayton. 

Maybe Janelle has just plain given up.  Over two decades (thereabouts) of marriage and she will never have her moment in the sun as the favorite wife of her husband.  She has had nothing but scraps of affection tossed here and there, off and on.  In the earlier years it was probably always what Meri wanted for the family - maybe Christine.  Then Robyn came into the family and that was that.  Now Robyn calls the shots, has Kody's affection (or at least did for years) and Janelle's fought this battle a hundred times and always lost.  Robyn will get what she wants, they will move to Flagstaff to hold Dayton's hand and her kids (Janelle's) be damned.  What's the point?  If Janelle liked a style of home better but Robyn liked another style - it would be Robyn's choice.  If Janelle liked an acreage better but it wasn't the other wives' favorite - well they certainly aren't going to vote for HER choice.  Maybe she's tired of fighting for ALL of the scraps in the family (not just Kody's attention)... tired of running the gerbil wheel and never getting anywhere....and she's sunk into a depression of sorts and just doesn't care anymore.  

Been there, done that.  Right before I got out.   Not saying this is Janelle's situation and I'm not saying it's right because I agree that her going to visit Flagstaff and TAKING the kids along might have helped ease things a LOT!  I'm just thinking about what motivates her - or not.

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8 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

..and she's sunk into a depression of sorts and just doesn't care anymore.  

I agree with your entire post but wanted to highlight the depression aspect which makes it even more obvious that she's in no position to be coaching anyone.

I've watched this trainwreck since season 1 and IIRC there was a short period of time when Kootie seemed to prefer Janelle's company because he could talk business etc with her, they both worked outside the home and he seemed to value her opinion but then Robyn came along and with it the whole move to LV 

Janelle got her realtor license but it never really went anywhere and over the years I think she lost whatever attraction Kootie had for her.

I think her self worth has gone down the shitter...whatever confidence she had flew the coop so now she's 50, overweight, unhealthy, doesn't really contribute in any meaningful way and has 3 younger more active wives to compete with.

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Janelle,

Traveling to the mailbox doesn't count...sitting on the couch doesn't count..god she is exhausting - what exactly is she striving for ?  For 9.99 a month you get her complaining that she may have to shovel snow, how awe inspiring nutmeg is, how to bake fajitas, how a massage feels great, gee thanks Einstein.  I would rather take that 9.99 a month and enjoy my Birchbox surprises.  

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I would much rather buy a new book for my Kindle, which I did last night.

I can get my older ass off the couch and go for a walk pretty regularly.  Janelle is still hoping for that magic fix or divine inspiration, or ??? to do anything besides make unhelpful posts.  

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4 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

What is it with these people and their "self care"?  When did that become a thing?  I worked full time for 55 years and self care was finding time for a shower.  And I didn't call it self care, I called it cleanliness.

YES!  Along with snowflakes came this entire population of people who need all this special "pampering" - if that's even a word anymore!

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48 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

What is it with these people and their "self care"?  When did that become a thing?  I worked full time for 55 years and self care was finding time for a shower.  And I didn't call it self care, I called it cleanliness.

Is it even "self care" if a masseuse does all the work?

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5 minutes ago, deirdra said:

Is it even "self care" if a masseuse does all the work?

Oh my ga.....!   SERIOUSLY?  You ask such a question?  It is WORK to ask around and find the BEST and then you have to google the phone number and stuff.  Drive over there.   Dang!  Now I'm exhausted at having to do all this work of explaining......!

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18 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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WTF? She sits too long so she needs a massage?

What am I doing to "check in" to my self care, Janelle? About to go on a 10k run in 40 mph wind (no excuses), It's how I get my energy going. Then, pack my raw vegan snacks and off to work until 6pm (some of us have a routine and a commitment). And maybe, just maybe, if I have a hard week of working out I might consider a massage. 

Try exercise, Janelle, to energize from sitting too long. I have no more empathy for this lazy, whining, sedentary asshole.

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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I could be mistaken, but I thought the mom of boys hashtag was used by moms of only boys. 

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Janelle may be able to appease her hurt and hunger for affection with food, but in the long run, she won't be successful in buying off Gabriel with a damn chocolate shake.

He deserved an explanation for turning his life upside down with the move to Flagstaff and if Janelle wasn't able to provide more than simply blindly following the Leader, she should have called in the Slave Master himself to provide the rationale.

This utter contempt for a young adults sense of self will come back to bite her in her fat ass one day.  I hope she is able to find solace in the strength of her loving bonds with her sister wives and Kody.  But wait...

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3 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Janelle may be able to appease her hurt and hunger for affection with food, but in the long run, she won't be successful in buying off Gabriel with a damn chocolate shake.

He deserved an explanation for turning his life upside down with the move to Flagstaff and if Janelle wasn't able to provide more than simply blindly following the Leader, she should have called in the Slave Master himself to provide the rationale.

This utter contempt for a young adults sense of self will come back to bite her in her fat ass one day.  I hope she is able to find solace in the strength of her loving bonds with her sister wives and Kody.  But wait...

Perhaps Gabe has actually settled well into Flagstaff and is no longer bitter?  I haven't seen any specific twitter posts but in the couple Gabe has posted on Instagram he looks happy.  I'm thinking the kind of kid who was up for captain of the Varsity Wrestling team and ranked 10th out of 850 kids in Las Vegas has the kind of personality and grit it takes to make it work wherever he lands.  It may not be BETTER than Las Vegas but he probably is making it a good experience for himself.  

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21 minutes ago, smarty2020 said:

Perhaps Gabe has actually settled well into Flagstaff and is no longer bitter?  I haven't seen any specific twitter posts but in the couple Gabe has posted on Instagram he looks happy.  I'm thinking the kind of kid who was up for captain of the Varsity Wrestling team and ranked 10th out of 850 kids in Las Vegas has the kind of personality and grit it takes to make it work wherever he lands.  It may not be BETTER than Las Vegas but he probably is making it a good experience for himself.  

Kids are adaptable and no doubt Gabe has an inner core of strength that will carry him through the challenge of establishing himself in a new environment. 

My point is, that as parents, it is incumbent upon Kody and Janelle to lead Gabe to a point that he has an understanding of the justification for uprooting him from all that he holds of importance to him.  He is intelligent enough to understand logic and if they had laid out reasons to him, it may have been easier for him to accept:---

Reason 1- Flagstaff has the ONLY college that offers programs suitable for Dayton and Robyn and her spawn are the only people in this family who deserve to have their needs met.

Reason 2- The LV market is HOT (Mona said so), time to unleash our equity in these homes and make the fiscally responsible move to Flagstaff, where our money will buy 25% less house for 50% more money.

Reason 3- Robyn, Aurora and Christine heard angels singingk and felt sparkly on the land in Flagstaff, Janelle heard the words pond and fishing and sight unseen, she was all in.

I'm sure none of these would have been valid points to Gabe, but at least they would have been honest and would have let him know exactly where he stands in the grand scheme of things.

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I still remember Janelle saying that after Savanah, she didn't want more kids because she was afraid she'd get another Gabriel.  Way to talk about one of her kids!

Yeah, a few more chocolate treats should make up for everything he lost with this harebrained move.  Not.

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It would be interesting to see how the kids have adjusted, and whether they think it is better in Flagstaff (or not).  It sucks that the show is over a year behind.  If we knew for certain that Gabe, Gwen and Aurora liked it better in Flagstaff then we could at least say it all worked out in their favor, even if it seemed unfair in the beginning. 

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