Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[iwantcookies]

That picture scared me. Kodi didn’t even get 1 hot wife. 

[DakotaJustice]

37 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

That picture scared me. Kodi didn’t even get 1 hot wife. 

For the most part IMO the kind of women who are willing to share a husband are not exactly going to be beauties.  

[Teafortwo]

Her language is as sloppy as her photos: "This sessions [sic] tops [sic] include a:

1) A goal..."

[laurakaye]

On 1/16/2021 at 9:56 AM, ginger90 said:

Bets on Janelle cleaning the humidifier.....

Someone asked what brand she uses, she replied, “ I usually buy one that has the easiest day to day maintenance:) “.

To me this sentence suggests that she buys one with easy maintenance (shocker) but then keeps buying them repeatedly because she doesn't maintain the one she's got.  If she HAD bought one with easy maintenance, she would've said "I've purchased one with easy day to day maintenance."  Note that she also refuses to list the brand name, instead being vague and of course, "easy" is the key word.  I'm starting to think that "Easy" is her middle name.

I don't think she owns a humidifier at all because they need to be kept full of water and cleaned to prevent mold.  We all know that Janelle wouldn't do either of those things - hence, her stock picture of a diffuser.  Also, we don't need Dr. Janelle Brown telling any of her brainiac followers that a humidifier "helps with Covid."  

Mostly I laugh at her crap but sometimes her laziness just ticks me off.

Also what does going makeup free with fire-hazard hair have to to with goal setting?

Shut up, Janelle.

[deirdra]

When I go makeup-free, I always comb my hair. 

[ginger90]

Janelle’s thought of a good picture, vs Gwendlyn’s:

[Sandy W]

Janelle was able to snap her photo probably just by opening the front door. She wouldn't even have to put on boots or a jacket and step out on the porch.

Gwen's is not only more artistic but required some effort to reach a site with trees.

[ginger90]

[xwordfanatik]

OK Janelle, how far did you walk?  Just putting on an anorak isn't enough for inquiring minds that want to know (and call you out on your bullshit.)

So, walking isn't a proper adult thing?  Since when?  Oh shit, you mean I've been in my second childhood every time I've taken a walk?

You are one weird duck, J.  

[DakotaJustice]

Proper adult things: sitting on the couch bingeing on Netflix and GrubHub. 
 

Oh wait yesterday was the first day of the accountability group! I wonder how that went. Not enough to pay $45 though.

[Teafortwo]

15 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

the accountability group

Doesn't sound like much of a group - more of a message board where people can post their progress. Janelle's groupies  should check out our Without Janelle thread -- free of charge!

[suomi]

I have never posted a selfie. I read the tips about camera height and, yeah, that helps but not enough. I figure if that's what I look like now it's time to admit defeat. 😞 And I lose sleep wondering if my test photos are truly erased from my phone.

I'm also a big fan of the "When I die, delete my search history" meme. 

[Joan of Argh]

On 1/19/2021 at 3:24 PM, Sandy W said:

Janelle was able to snap her photo probably just by opening the front door. She wouldn't even have to put on boots or a jacket and step out on the porch.

She probably opened her door and stuck a selfie stick out the door to take the pic 😂

[ginger90]

[laurakaye]

Huh??

So she took the dogs outside - dogs who are scared of the dark?  Like, all her dogs are scared?  Is that a thing with dogs (I only ever had cats and they were definitely not scared of the dark).  So if her dogs are scared of the dark, why does she take them out when it's DARK?  Aren't they too scared to do their business?  Moving on, she took a picture of snow on tree branches but then had to quantify the quality of said photo, saying that she had her porch light on and perhaps the picture would've been prettier without the light on.  Huh?  She does this all the time with her pictures - ignore the crooked frame in the background!  Never mind my chipped plates!  Don't you dare comment on my crud-encrusted stovetop!  Just post the stupid picture!  THEN we move onto the sentence, "but now way to take a picture other than with my eyes."  WTF does that even mean?  She takes and posts pictures all the time, so this fragment makes zero sense in more ways than just her typical random nonsense word salad.

Whew, that was exhausting.  She drives me nuts.  

[Cetacean]

I have honestly never heard of a dog afraid of the dark.  Seriously?  Or is she too lazy to open the door so gives that as an excuse for them to do their business on the carpet.

14 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

THEN we move onto the sentence, "but now way to take a picture other than with my eyes."  WTF does that even mean? 

Beats the hell out of me.  Between not proof reading and the convoluted way her mind works who even wants to try and figure it out.

[MargeGunderson]

So does she just leave the lights on all night so her dogs aren’t scared?

[deirdra]

I doubt the dogs are afraid of the dark, but they may be afraid she'll fall asleep in the Barcalounger again and forget to let them back in.

[ginger90]

[Chicklet]

When your little dog is the smartest one in the house....

[Joan of Argh]

On 1/23/2021 at 11:46 AM, ginger90 said:

We often go away on short trips and when we get home we turn up the temperature on the furnace and within an hour our home is warm and comfortable.

I'm wondering if Janelle lives in a "3 Little Pigs" house....the one that had no insulation and was heated by a pot belly stove. 🐷 🏡 

 

[ginger90]

[Irate Panda]

On 1/23/2021 at 2:46 PM, ginger90 said:

I love this little dog’s face, but he seriously looks like he’s thinking, “If I lie still long enough maybe she’ll forget I’m here. Oh God! Is that the can opener?  Not canned cabbage AGAIN!  Oh well, guess I have to pretend I want to be tucked in and wait for the crumbs from the Wendy’s drive-thru run to fall off her shirt 😏”
 

 

[suomi]

I bet time lapse photography would yield that same view while she napped for a couple hours in the recliner.

Edited January 25, 2021 by suomi

[Teafortwo]

That photo of Janelle's slippered, propped up feet and laptop is a new low, even for her.

[Joan of Argh]

48 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Her feet look like they're made of wax...

"chained to my desk" "siren song" "Not today Satan!" she sounds like a mental patient.

What are these "big projects" she's been procrastinating over?

I think she means "constipating" and the "big projects" are overdue bowel movements. 💩 😈

[xwordfanatik]

Hee!  Janelle needs to eat that canned crap cabbage she pushed on Axel Rose.  Maybe that would help her constipation?

@Joan of Argh, I love ya!  Still laughing about the big projects!  If Janelle knew how ridiculous she sounds, would she let loose?

[Teafortwo]

I still can't get over that picture. If she wanted to show her appetite-supressant "change of scene", why not show a view of the snow through the "front room" window framed by nice curtains, or something? Oh wait, it's Janelle, whose front room and curtains are a drab, dull, dung-color brown.

[Cetacean]

49 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

Oh wait, it's Janelle, whose front room and curtains are a drab, dull, dung-color brown.

No wonder these women all seem to need anti-depressants.  Have they ever heard of the power of color and how certain ones can lift a mood?  I'd slit my throat if I were surrounded by brown on every surface. 

There are websites that list colors that lift the mood and give you energy.  It doesn't have to be neon but geez, louise, a gallon of paint could do wonders. 

[deirdra]

Step 1: Open your laptop !!!  You cannot get any "work" done with it closed.

[Teafortwo]

12 minutes ago, deirdra said:

Step 1: Open your laptop !!!  You cannot get any "work" done with it closed.

Omg, we've all been had! I just realized that one of her "projects" that she was procrastinating on was to make a Strive post, take a picture of something, and post them together!

[Irate Panda]

Can someone tell me what Janelle’s current job is again?  I get the show is her job, but is this “motivation” website all she’s doing right now?  I mean I can see Meri and Christine actually shilling their lulunono and other crap, and Robyn is exempt from working, but I can’t believe people are actually paying for Janelle to motivate them.  I know Janelle’s quality of living seems lower than the rest of them, so is she just living on the show money or is she doing other things I’m unaware of?

[Sandy W]

14 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

Can someone tell me what Janelle’s current job is again?  I get the show is her job, but is this “motivation” website all she’s doing right now?  I mean I can see Meri and Christine actually shilling their lulunono and other crap, and Robyn is exempt from working, but I can’t believe people are actually paying for Janelle to motivate them.  I know Janelle’s quality of living seems lower than the rest of them, so is she just living on the show money or is she doing other things I’m unaware of?

I think she handles the family finances derived from the show.  They probably had an advance for the season, or if all the shows for the season are "in the can" now, she may be very, very, busy writing 5 individual checks to the principal players.

On second thought, it may be more involved than that, the adult kids should be entitled to draw on their appearances, Maddie and Caleb, you had 2 hours and 20 minutes of screen time, so you are getting "x" percentage of the hours of film time, and on it would go.  It could get complicated, I may need a breather on Janelle's barcalounger just thinking about it. 

Edited January 26, 2021 by Sandy W

[laurakaye]

10 hours ago, deirdra said:

Step 1: Open your laptop !!!  You cannot get any "work" done with it closed.

She's "thinking" about what to do when she finally opens her laptop....finish game number 13,798 of Solitaire or try to level up on Candy Crush?

 

9 hours ago, Sandy W said:

 It could get complicated, I may need a breather on Janelle's barcalounger just thinking about it. 

I would not wish that on my worst enemy - you would need to Febreze the living hell out of it first.  I can basically smell her house just from that picture of her huge feet, tatty slippers, and what looks to be a stray potato chip on the floor of her brown/beige/tan living room.

As someone mentioned, the picture to post here would've been an inspirational view outside the window.  I don't know if Janelle just has absolutely no self-awareness, or she just has no clue of the audience she's supposed to be Striving for.  If you are actually trying to motivate someone (hahaha as if), posting a picture of your lazy butt glued to the couch with a closed laptop on your considerable lap does not scream, "go exercise!"  

I wonder how her 40-day Strive With Janelle accountability group is going, since she hasn't posted one word about it since it supposedly began?

Edited January 26, 2021 by laurakaye

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I wonder how her 40-day Strive With Janelle accountability group is going, since she hasn't posted one word ab

It would cost $45 to take a look. Not happening!

[Teafortwo]

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

It would cost $45 to take a look. Not happening!

I would be willing to pay 50 cents toward this, so we just need another 89 people willing to pay 50 cents each. 😜

PS $1 per person is too much IMO.

[Joan of Argh]

9 hours ago, laurakaye said:

you would need to Febreze the living hell out of it first.  I can basically smell her house just from that picture of her huge feet, tatty slippers, and what looks to be a stray potato chip on the floor of her brown/beige/tan living room.

I agree with your entire post but this is what really gets me, even when these women were handed brand new houses in Vegas with new furniture, appliances, carpets, sinks, tubs, toilets all sparkling NEW it took very little time for them to have ratty, matted carpets, dirty appliances, grubby tubs, broken baseboards, broken cabinets, filthy furniture... and they keep furniture even after its completely ripped, torn, dirty and gross looking..... The list goes on and on, they're such slobs!

I don't understand how Janelle can live in such a filthy house plus she has 3 large dogs...It makes me wonder about her personal hygiene, her teeth always look like they need a good cleaning and her gums are often swollen.... Kody looks like he stinks, so they probably cancel out each others stench.

(I'll exclude Meri from above house comments because she seemed to care for her home)

Janelle's laptop and mouse look dull and dirty like fat sweaty hands have been mauling them. *gag*

The nerve of Janelle to run a website about healthy living and eating blows my mind and who pays to follow her?!?!??.. She's fatter than ever and doesn't know anything about nutrition. 

What am I missing? What do these people get from Janelle that's worth paying for? 

 

[laurakaye]

12 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

What am I missing? What do these people get from Janelle that's worth paying for? 

It has been posited that her Strive followers (and I have no idea how many she has) follow her to either A. find affirmation from Janelle that exercise and eating nutritious food is just rilly rilly hard and Janelle not only reaffirms those beliefs and justifies the "I'll start tomorrow" mindset, she comes with a ready-made list of excuses why "today just didn't work for me" that her followers can also utilize or B. her followers are just looking for some interaction with a Z-list celeb, and supposedly each subscription comes with a one-on-one "motivational" phone call from Janelle.  Surely no one who actually wants to lose weight looks to Janelle Brown for true motivation.  There are like 100 apps that do better work than she does and many of them are free.

[Teafortwo]

9 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 or B. her followers are just looking for some interaction with a Z-list celeb, and supposedly each subscription comes with a one-on-one "motivational" phone call from Janelle. 

Ok, I admit I would pay the full $45 for this if Janelle guaranteed to provide an honest summary of where she and the other wives and Kody all stand with each other.

[DakotaJustice]

32 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

Ok, I admit I would pay the full $45 for this if Janelle guaranteed to provide an honest summary of where she and the other wives and Kody all stand with each other.

And financial info like how much they really get paid for the show.

[Dustbunny]

10 hours ago, laurakaye said:

It has been posited that her Strive followers (and I have no idea how many she has) follow her to either A. find affirmation from Janelle that exercise and eating nutritious food is just rilly rilly hard and Janelle not only reaffirms those beliefs and justifies the "I'll start tomorrow" mindset, she comes with a ready-made list of excuses why "today just didn't work for me" that her followers can also utilize or B. her followers are just looking for some interaction with a Z-list celeb, and supposedly each subscription comes with a one-on-one "motivational" phone call from Janelle.  Surely no one who actually wants to lose weight looks to Janelle Brown for true motivation.  There are like 100 apps that do better work than she does and many of them are free.

exactly, she's an enabler and because she's a star from a tv show her enabling comes with bragging rights "I spoke to a tv star!"  🙄

[Cetacean]

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Ok, I admit I would pay the full $45 for this if Janelle guaranteed to provide an honest summary of where she and the other wives and Kody all stand with each other.

Honest and Brown Clowns are mutually exclusive.  They even have trouble remembering former lies.  Save your money.

[laurakaye]

15 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Ok, I admit I would pay the full $45 for this if Janelle guaranteed to provide an honest summary of where she and the other wives and Kody all stand with each other.

On that topic, I would gladly hand over $45 to get the real dirt on Janelle's first marriage to Meri's brother Adam, and what Janelle was smoking when she thought she'd dump Adam for Kody AND Meri.  I still rilly need to know what went on there.

[MargeGunderson]

I wonder if Janelle wanted to be part of polygamous family so that she didn’t have care for a family herself - she wouldn’t be the only wife (and therefore would have to do less to “take care” of her husband) would have other wives to take of her kids. Less a religious reason and more a practical reason. Janelle strikes me as someone who would have been content being single and just doing whatever she wanted rather than getting married and having kids. 

[ginger90]

[Teafortwo]

3 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

I wonder if Janelle wanted to be part of polygamous family so that she didn’t have care for a family herself - she wouldn’t be the only wife (and therefore would have to do less to “take care” of her husband) would have other wives to take of her kids. Less a religious reason and more a practical reason. Janelle strikes me as someone who would have been content being single and just doing whatever she wanted rather than getting married and having kids. 

I think Janelle just really fell for Kody and was so happy when he wanted to bring her into his existing marriage that she didn't care about anything else.

[MargeGunderson]

1 hour ago, Teafortwo said:

I think Janelle just really fell for Kody and was so happy when he wanted to bring her into his existing marriage that she didn't care about anything else.

It’s just so hard for me Janelle being that interested in another person. She’s just so....blah about everything in life.

[Dustbunny]

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

It’s just so hard for me Janelle being that interested in another person. She’s just so....blah about everything in life.

yes unless she's talking about Kodys hips/ass/crotch

Remember when she was growling and all breathy describing how hot he is *puke*

There's one time when I kind of felt bad for Meri, she has to hear that Janelle dumped her brother because she was lusting after Kodys hips and thrust-a-bility 😫

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

I wonder if Janelle wanted to be part of polygamous family so that she didn’t have care for a family herself - she wouldn’t be the only wife (and therefore would have to do less to “take care” of her husband) would have other wives to take of her kids. Less a religious reason and more a practical reason. Janelle strikes me as someone who would have been content being single and just doing whatever she wanted rather than getting married and having kids. 

I think like a lot of people, Janelle liked the idea of having children (for the social, emotional and biological reasons), but wasn’t so interested in the heavy lifting of the day to day work of raising children into adulthood. Now Janelle I think always RESPECTED the emotional and physical work it takes to raise children but she just didn’t want to do it. So plural marriage was very attractive to her, as there would be another woman to take on the primary caregiver role, and she wouldn’t have a husband underfoot 24/7. 
 

If Janelle had been born a heterosexual man, finding a similar arrangement to meet her needs would’ve been easier. Men are not expected to do the heavy caregiving/child care to be “good fathers”- public acknowledgement of the child’s existence, consistent financial support of the child, interest in the child’s physical and emotional well being, and some type of consistent recreational time with the child constitutes an adequate father in our society. All of which Janelle would’ve been very willing to do, and she wouldn’t have even had to be pregnant/deliver said kids in that scenario. 
 

But Janelle was born a woman, and she wasn’t born in a time where stay at home dads were super common, so I think she chose what she thought was the best option to give her the life she wanted. 

[Joan of Argh]

1 hour ago, Dustbunny said:

yes unless she's talking about Kodys hips/ass/crotch

Remember when she was growling and all breathy describing how hot he is *puke*

There's one time when I kind of felt bad for Meri, she has to hear that Janelle dumped her brother because she was lusting after Kodys hips and thrust-a-bility 😫

I'll never forget that scene, I didn't need to know that Janelle loves kody and his jackhammer pelvis.   *barf*