Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[deirdra]

Quelle surprise!  You can also walk when you have a sore shoulder. Not power walking with Nordic poles, but I suspect Janelle hasn't googled that yet.

Edited December 3, 2020 by deirdra

[DakotaJustice]

I heard whah whah whah whah whah like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown cartoons. 

So basically she's just been sitting on her ass since before Thanksgiving, right?

ETA: I bet a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts that she didn't even bother slapping on some sunscreen. 

Edited December 3, 2020 by DakotaJustice

[TurtlePower]

15 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

Ready?

How predictable. Janelle laments about being on the couch. 

Regarding walks: "You just go". NO. WAY. You just, go (as I'm about to as I do nearly every single day 🙄)? 

Regarding winter clothes: "A good scarf does wonders" Does it? REALLY? I had no idea scarfs helped keep people warm. 

I'm feeling especially sarcastic towards her today. This is basic beginner stuff right there, Janelle. 

[Sandy W]

31 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

How predictable. Janelle laments about being on the couch. 

Regarding walks: "You just go". NO. WAY. You just, go (as I'm about to as I do nearly every single day 🙄)? 

Regarding winter clothes: "A good scarf does wonders" Does it? REALLY? I had no idea scarfs helped keep people warm. 

I'm feeling especially sarcastic towards her today. This is basic beginner stuff right there, Janelle. 

Gloves and a hat help too.  I noticed Janelle is bare-headed in the photo, hasn't it been said that the majority of your body heat escapes through your scalp?

[ginger90]

Looks like she’s in her backyard.

[ginger90]

Someone commented on her shoulder. Janelle’s response:

 

“ Thank goodness it has healed now.  It took a few visits to the chiropractor and a massage .! “

[DakotaJustice]

39 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Gloves and a hat help too.  I noticed Janelle is bare-headed in the photo, hasn't it been said that the majority of your body heat escapes through your scalp?

And the harmful UV rays come in. 

[laurakaye]

Do her sycophants actually comment on her stupid posts?  Like, does anyone ever say "Janelle!!  I cannot believe that all I have to do is put on some shoes and a coat and go outside and then I can, like, WALK!  And a scarf, you say?  A scarf will keep me warm?  STOP, I actually own a scarf but I had NO idea what to do with it!  Your advice is FANTASTIC!!!"

Janelle made it sound like gravity was literally sucking her ass into the couch cushion and if she didn't flail herself out of there, she'd never escape.

[MargeGunderson]

Is it time to update the title of this thread? I think it’s clear that Janelle is not smarter than the average Brown.
 

Janelle: Striving to nowhere.

Janelle: Maybe Striving to Get Off Her Couch But Probably Not. 

[laurakaye]

Janelle: Striving for Some Peanut-Butter Fritos

Janelle: Striving for Excuses

Janelle: ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

2019 - Stationary bike odometer reading .2

2020 - Stationary bike odometer reading .2  - unless it tracked when Gabe had to move the bike from outdoors to inside of the Christmas tree.

OT- years ago when I was on a diet, I put a scale in the kitchen, that way when those munchies rolled around, I would see it - so that helped me think twice about rummaging through a fridge or cabinets for a snack.  I doubt that is working with Janelle and her bike

[Roslyn]

Janelle Brown: Thinking about Striving is enough...

[laurakaye]

Janelle Brown:  Google It Yourself

[Absolom]

Getting to the backyard to take a photo twice a week is taxing y'all.  She should be walking the dog.  That solves the motivation problem.  When the dog demands out, you just go.

[DakotaJustice]

42 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Getting to the backyard to take a photo twice a week is taxing y'all.  She should be walking the dog.  That solves the motivation problem.  When the dog demands out, you just go.

I bet there's piles of doggy-doo everywhere in her backyard. Her landlord must be thrilled. 

[Chicklet]

"Ambitions plans" dear god I just can't. She can't type, spell, or pull coherent posts out of her ass.

So she has a gravity well in her living room sofa. Maybe NASA would be interested. Probably not.

Living the good life, that's Janelle.

[riverblue22]

12 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Is it time to update the title of this thread? I think it’s clear that Janelle is not smarter than the average Brown.
 

Janelle: Striving to nowhere.

Janelle: Maybe Striving to Get Off Her Couch But Probably Not. 

I've been thinking this very thing for quite awhile, and I love your two options!

[iwantcookies]

Jenelle not smarter than your average Brown 

[Gramto6]

Janelle, a typical Brown clown, strive as she might...not going anywhere...

[Kbo]

Janelle: No Drive to Strive for Anything

[ginger90]

[deirdra]

A tincture may have benefits, but how much SUGAR is in the syrup?

[ginger90]

Still another barrier in Janelle’s repertoire.

 

Next post, gastrointestinal problems, with no clue why.

[Kbo]

That looks revolting, I don’t want to imagine what it tastes like 🤮

[ginger90]

Someone asked if the class was local :

 

Janelle’s reply:

 

I found it so valuable to be shown some of the stuff I had only read.  Very empowering. Honestly with COVID a lot of our classes ended up being on Zoom or outside socially distances with masks but I still benefitted so much having interaction with a teacher.  I just googled local herb classes and found one that appealed to me.  Maybe you could do the same ?

[Chicklet]

God it's like I see dead things in jars. Does that look like elderberry anything to anyone?

[DakotaJustice]

The two recipes I found for it call for 80 proof vodka and elderberries. 

Down the hatch! 

[LilWharveyGal]

7 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

The two recipes I found for it call for 80 proof vodka and elderberries. 

Down the hatch! 

If that doesn't kill the bugs nothing will! 🤣

[ginger90]

[iwantcookies]

On 12/5/2020 at 6:01 PM, ginger90 said:

That “brew” might cure COVID 🤣🤣🤣

[Gramto6]

2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

That “brew” might cure COVID 🤣🤣🤣

It might kill you too!! LOL

[crazycatlady58]

2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

That “brew” might cure COVID 🤣🤣🤣

Or make you not care that you have it.

[iwantcookies]

4 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

It might kill you too!! LOL

 

That brew looks like it would cause harm period 

Edited December 7, 2020 by iwantcookies

[laurakaye]

On 12/5/2020 at 7:07 PM, ginger90 said:

Someone asked if the class was local :

 

Janelle’s reply:

 

I found it so valuable to be shown some of the stuff I had only read.  Very empowering. Honestly with COVID a lot of our classes ended up being on Zoom or outside socially distances with masks but I still benefitted so much having interaction with a teacher.  I just googled local herb classes and found one that appealed to me.  Maybe you could do the same ?

What is her deal?  Why can't she ever be up front with what recipe she's using, or what class she took, or anything?  Instead it's always blah blah de blah blah blahcakes, look it up yourself, loser.  

And again with another mind-blowing concept that reading about doing something and actually DOING it are two completely different things!  So wait - all this time I've been reading about exercise but not doing it - is THAT why the scale isn't budging, Janelle?  Can you point me to the correct Googlez to explain why?  Thanks for all you do, I heart you!!  Enclosed please find my check for another year's membership to Strive!  So far I have actually gained 27 pounds but I look forward to your next miracle cure/spice/tea because I'm positive that the NEXT thing will work!!

[TurtlePower]

12 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

What is her deal?  Why can't she ever be up front with what recipe she's using, or what class she took, or anything?  Instead it's always blah blah de blah blah blahcakes, look it up yourself, loser.  

And again with another mind-blowing concept that reading about doing something and actually DOING it are two completely different things!  So wait - all this time I've been reading about exercise but not doing it - is THAT why the scale isn't budging, Janelle?  Can you point me to the correct Googlez to explain why?  Thanks for all you do, I heart you!!  Enclosed please find my check for another year's membership to Strive!  So far I have actually gained 27 pounds but I look forward to your next miracle cure/spice/tea because I'm positive that the NEXT thing will work!!

Janelle sucks at being a health coach. It's almost comical, but the tragic thing is she doesn't see it. We've been following her all these years she's been doing this as a "business" and she has not gotten any better at it. It's the same shit, same cycle, every year. WE can pretty much tell how things are going to play out. 

And she still shows no results. If we compared "Strive" to piano lessons/practice, Janelle would still be fumbling Mary Had a Little Lamb when she should be playing Beethoven by now. Janelle is oblivious to it all; the lack of progress beyond novice doesn't seem to deter her (and it really should be on her radar, health and fitness is an industry in which personal results matter). I don't know how anyone can take her seriously. 

[ginger90]

5 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I don't know how anyone can take her seriously. 

And yet, some apparently do. They find her, “inspirational”.

🤦‍♀️

[Roslyn]

On 12/5/2020 at 9:51 PM, DakotaJustice said:

The two recipes I found for it call for 80 proof vodka and elderberries. 

Down the hatch! 

My Go-To for tinctures is 100 proof vodka.  I only make a couple of them and I stopped making elderberry cordials (tincture with sugar basically) because I prefer my elderberry wine now.

I do hope she knows her dosages, because tinctures can really be strong.  Elderberry is studied scientifically and components of elderberry is what the pharmaceutical "Tamiflu" is made from. However...as all natural things it has rules.  It is not very palatable on its own as it is very sour, which is why elderberry wine and jelly are the main uses for it. I used to make the tincture with my berries (my chickens have spread the seeds and I now have a forest next to my house) and vodka and then mixed that with sugar.  One ounce in seltzer water was the basic dose and as long as it is sweetened it is very tasty. Also an ounce mixed with Moscato or Sparkling wine with a twist of lime is really REALLY good. 🙂

Quite a few years ago I started making dark berry sangrias and that is my preferred way of making elderberry "wine" now.  I don't have the space or the inclination to make homemade wine, but I make wine infusions instead.  I press a pound of berries with a little sugar and steep it in a local concord wine(a naturally sweet wine) with added bourbon.  You need a higher alcohol content so that it doesn't become compost in the process.  I steep in my fridge for 12 weeks and then strain and bottle.  I make a version with all dark berries. Elderberry, Black Raspberry, Dark Cherries, Blueberries and Blackberries and then I make just an elderberry version.  I add a twist of lime when I serve it, and it is really delicious and one of my most requested sangrias. I had an amazing elderberry harvest this year and I have an entire shelf in my fridge filled with Christmas gift bottles. 

And yes...tinctures are rarely "tasty".  Different components of plants etc are dissolved in different solvents. Sugar(syrups), Water(tisane or tea) or Alcohol(tincture). Many cocktails have infused alcohols for flavor, which is the same process of making a medicinal type tincture. 

Obviously they aren't a cure all, but the cool thing about elderberry is that you can have it everyday without issues and it supports your immune system.  Echinacea is known to help get you over colds faster, but it has limitations that elderberry doesn't have. 

As a FYI tho... I have been following discussions this year from studied herbalists and it isn't decided if elderberry is to be used for COVID or not.  While it has studies with colds and flu, this being something completely new will take time.  Right now the consensus is to NOT consume elderberry if you know you are positive.  At the moment I can't remember the specifics as to why...I just made a mental note if anyone would ask me. 

...adding...

Janelle is either not giving specifics because a.) she wants people to sign up with her for specific information or b.) it is her way of not being "liable" for any of the information she is generically giving.  There is SO much really bad info out there, especially from the MLM essential oil people that it is scary.  Just because it's "Natural" doesn't mean it is somehow safe.  Water Hemlock is natural, field parsnip is natural, even Janelle's beloved Kale can really do some damage to your kidneys if you have underlying issues and put bunches and bunches into smoothies every single day. Her "just google it" attitude is irresponsible IMO.

[Absolom]

52 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

As a FYI tho... I have been following discussions this year from studied herbalists and it isn't decided if elderberry is to be used for COVID or not.  While it has studies with colds and flu, this being something completely new will take time.  Right now the consensus is to NOT consume elderberry if you know you are positive.  At the moment I can't remember the specifics as to why...I just made a mental note if anyone would ask me. 

It's because of potential impact with the cytokine storm some COVID patients have.  It's why echinacea isn't recommended for people with lupus.  Lupus involves a lot cytokine activity and echinacea ramping up the immune system isn't a good idea.  

[laurakaye]

@Roslyn, @Absolom - your posts show a high level of researched information that Janelle's should have.  It bothers me immensely that there are actual people out there that - misguided or not - follow her for health advice and as we've noted on these threads in the past, tossing out the name of her Herb of the Day and telling her followers to "just steep it in water and chug it!" is not only lame and stupid, but dangerous.  If she can't be bothered to do research besides Googling "best spices for weight loss," then she should have her community education health coach certificate taken away and Strive should be deleted before she hurts someone.

Also, now I really want elderberry sangria. 

[xwordfanatik]

My mother-in-law made the BEST blackberry brandy with wild blackberries that grew on her property, cube sugar, and vodka.  It was delicious but not claimed to be healthy!  We loved getting a bottle or two every year.  We tried making it with store-bought blackberries, and it wasn't nearly as good (but still drinkable!)

Janelle takes lazy to a new level.  Why anyone with half a brain would listen to her is a mystery.

[deirdra]

Wild berries seem to have 2-5X the concentrated taste of those bloated bland replicas found in grocery stores.  I recall with fondness flopping down in our stomachs in a field of wild strawberries and eating them for about an hour before getting back to work.

[the-grey-lady]

On 12/6/2020 at 3:18 PM, ginger90 said:

Ah, Garrison has picked up a new hobby...did he spend a year reading about it first, months agonizing about when to start, and then a couple weeks trying to work up the energy to walk outside?

[iwantcookies]

Jenelle should change her name to Googleit 

[Kohola3]

I thought Garrison was doing woodworking for a living.  Didn't we see a picture of him making a sign or some such a while ago?

[DakotaJustice]

18 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I thought Garrison was doing woodworking for a living.  Didn't we see a picture of him making a sign or some such a while ago?

That was Paedon. 

[Kohola3]

9 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

That was Paedon. 

OK, thanks.  They are all pretty much interchangeable to me, I honesly can't tell most of them apart or to whom they belong except the Snowflake.

[Grifter Lives]

3 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

I thought Garrison was doing woodworking for a living.  Didn't we see a picture of him making a sign or some such a while ago?

 

3 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

That was Paedon. 

 

3 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

OK, thanks.  They are all pretty much interchangeable to me, I honesly can't tell most of them apart or to whom they belong except the Snowflake.

Also, Aspyn's husband, Mitch, is a carpenter professionally.

They're all interchangeable to me, too, and, like their father, I don't care.  However, I wish them well and hope that they continue to run away as far and fast as they can.

 

Edited December 8, 2020 by Grifter Lives
"Their," not "they're," father. How mortifying!

[xwordfanatik]

None of the kids so far want to emulate Kootie or their unfortunate mothers, and sign up for that patently unfair 'lifestyle.'  If any of them do end up plyg, it'll be one or more of Robyn's.  

Janelle will be there until the bitter end, still spouting fakery about how Kootie is very fair with his time.  That hasn't been the case since Robyn infiltrated their fambly.

[deirdra]

I could see Aspyn not objecting to a second wife if that is what Mitch wants and that is what is takes to fulfill her dream of redheaded (step)children.  I don't think she ever tested herself for the MC1R gene.

I remember that face from Blueberries for Sal!  We must have borrowed it from the library, but that 'look' was so engaging that I remember it decades later.

Edited December 10, 2020 by deirdra

[Kbo]

Sad news