Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[Natalie68]

On 10/24/2019 at 9:14 AM, DakotaJustice said:

I think it's more that she doesn't care anymore! She got what she wanted, and more besides since she also has a big ol house on a nice size piece of property. 
Kody probably asked her to stay off SM. Now, she's going to focus on making him happy, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, etc. If she's as savvy as we think she is, she watched Meri carefully and wanted to make sure she didn't make the same mistakes. Like being bitchy and demanding, petty and whining.  

Reading the book, I realize that while Kody said that Meri and Janelle had to work out their differences between themselves, it must have gotten old pretty quickly. Imagine coming home to the Meri and Janelle battle and being used as a pawn. He must love the peace and quiet now. 

I will always believe that the reason Robyn and Kody wanted to move to Flagstaff was primarily because they didn't want to live in the cul de sac so close to the other three women.  

They bought that land, but they'll never build on it, much less the big plyg house. That's all for the show. What will end up happening is that they will quietly unload the property and just like MSWC and the sale of the Lehi house, it won't be mentioned in the show. 

Stick a fork in the ex wife and two girlfriends because they're DONE. 

I used to love Fritos in tomato soup...

I like them with Tabasco.  

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, LoneWolf said:

It's almost 2pm and I was just thinking about have some lunch....perhaps tomato soup....then I read this sentence and I'm a bit sick to my stomach at the thought. Date night with husband tonight though (yay!!) so we'll likely be headed to a (gasp!) restaurant, where I will be ordering a normal person meal. Perhaps grilled chicken and salad, maybe tortilla soup....see how that works, Janelle? YOU get to CHOOSE from the menu, which usually has either healthy options or less-horrible options. Good grief. 🙄 

Tomato soup! I’m having that very thing right now (Amy’s organic, my favorite). It was cold in the field today. 

Janelle could also choose not to go to a restaurant if it freaks her out so much. It’s not that hard. Why doesn’t she carry apples or other healthy snack with her? Oh wait. If she did that, she might actually be SUCCESSFUL in her endeavors and not look like an idiot. 

[Kohola3]

On 10/24/2019 at 1:46 PM, Twopper said:

I put either croutons or goldfish in tomato bisque.  I only do a few at a time to keep them crunchy.

Popcorn for me.  Also a few at a time.

[ginger90]

[Chicklet]

She's so bloated all the time she "might" want to see a doctor since that can be symptom of several dreadful diseases. Just saying.

But I'm sure not one of those people see a doctor with regularity. And her so-called certification in fuckery advises her that everything can be cured with a cleanse. Idiots.

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, Chicklet said:

She's so bloated all the time she "might" want to see a doctor since that can be symptom of several dreadful diseases. Just saying.

Or just take Gas-X, and then stop eating whatever she ate right before she got bloated.

[Chicklet]

3 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Or just take Gas-X, and then stop eating whatever she ate right before she got bloated.

But but but...she has that CERTFICATION in natural whatsit so she knows.

Allegedly.

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

If it makes her feel better, she might want to ditch the 7 day “cleanse” for a permanent change. 

[Sandy W]

31 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

If it makes her feel better, she might want to ditch the 7 day “cleanse” for a permanent change. 

With a simple declaration of I.Am.Outta.Here, she could drop 200+ pounds of dead weight.

[DakotaJustice]

Can she.go thru 48 hours without obsessing about digestion?

[Galloway Cave]

"My digestion is so much better." You know, unless I'm shitting out food that is still identifiable, my digestion isn't something I can quantify. Sure, I may get a tummy ache from something I don't tolerate well or I may have poo changes from something going on in my intestines (TMI and also not digestion). I also bloat from gassy foods. But all of that is normal. I know which foods will give me a tummy ache. I know which foods cause a bloat. I can choose to eat them or not. But what I don't do is RockStar stuff or system-disruption cleanses. She  needs to see an MD and get a gastro check-up. She needs to stick to a basic food plan that is whole food and doesn't include food triggers. Have a rare cheat day. And stop talking about digestion.

[Kohola3]

Each a balanced diet and you shouldn't need a cleansing. It would be interesting to know what she considers a "healthy fat".  I don't think peanut butter fits that description.

Maybe she should consider the Dr. Kellogg cleansing routine. She's pretty much full of shit anyway.

[Sandy W]

9 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Each a balanced diet and you shouldn't need a cleansing. It would be interesting to know what she considers a "healthy fat".  I don't think peanut butter fits that description.

Maybe she should consider the Dr. Kellogg cleansing routine. She's pretty much full of shit anyway.

A small bowl of Kellogg's All Bran each morning would put a spring in her step that would last her throughout the day.

Dr. Kellogg also advocated celibacy and Janelle inadvertently seems to have that part down pat.

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, Sandy W said:

A small bowl of Kellogg's All Bran each morning would put a spring in her step that would last her throughout the day.

Dr. Kellogg also advocated celibacy and Janelle inadvertently seems to have that part down pat.

Ahahaaaaaa!!! 🤣🤣

Or Fiber One - that's been my go-to, it's really good mixed in nonfat yogurt. 

[Yeah No]

Janelle needs to stop fucking around with cleanses and "rock star" rabbit food and get her big fat ass to a gastroenterologist because I am almost positive now that she has food sensitivities that may be the cause of a lot of her obvious digestive symptoms and may even cause her fatigue and lethargy.  Not to mention what I've already mentioned in that an imbalance of stomach flora or hormones can also interfere with her ability to lose weight.  I just can't believe how dumb she is that she hasn't figured all of this out, especially since she's supposed to have some kind of "certification" - which just goes to show you how bogus that is.  Not worth the paper it's printed on.

[xwordfanatik]

15 hours ago, Sandy W said:

A small bowl of Kellogg's All Bran each morning would put a spring in her step that would last her throughout the day.

Dr. Kellogg also advocated celibacy and Janelle inadvertently seems to have that part down pat.

Shame on me...I rilly suspect that the last time Kootie graced Janelle with a conjugal visit, Savanah was the result.  Not only am I a COL, I'm also a DOL.  

[TurtlePower]

16 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

"My digestion is so much better." You know, unless I'm shitting out food that is still identifiable, my digestion isn't something I can quantify. Sure, I may get a tummy ache from something I don't tolerate well or I may have poo changes from something going on in my intestines (TMI and also not digestion). I also bloat from gassy foods. But all of that is normal. I know which foods will give me a tummy ache. I know which foods cause a bloat. I can choose to eat them or not. But what I don't do is RockStar stuff or system-disruption cleanses. She  needs to see an MD and get a gastro check-up. She needs to stick to a basic food plan that is whole food and doesn't include food triggers. Have a rare cheat day. And stop talking about digestion.

At her age, you’d think Janelle would know exactly what her triggers are; she’s  had long enough to figure it out. She also has that fancy certification we all keep reminding her of, shouldn’t she know better? 

[Cherry Cola]

55 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

At her age, you’d think Janelle would know exactly what her triggers are; she’s  had long enough to figure it out. She also has that fancy certification we all keep reminding her of, shouldn’t she know better? 

Why doesn't she do a doable diet. Like count calories, or weight watchers. I am currently starting calorie counting as a fellow fattie, but if you do what works for you, it can work. I have shed 40 pounds on WW before, not currently, and still drank pop daily, just not tons. It's about moderation, and I struggle with that myself. So in a way I understand, but I also am not looking for lifestyle tips from Janelle. 😆 Also move more. 

Edited October 28, 2019 by Cherry Cola

[Twopper]

On 10/24/2019 at 3:15 PM, athousandclowns said:

Yes! I remember now sherbet or scoop of ice cream was dessert in restaurants Many moons ago.  They even would bring the sherbet between courses as a palate cleanser. 

I do remember.  A small metal bowl that felt so cold.  Actually, by the standard sizes in the late 50's and 60's, the bowls probably weren't that small.  It is just that the serving sizes today are ridiculously huge most of the time.

On 10/25/2019 at 5:07 PM, TurtlePower said:

Tomato soup! I’m having that very thing right now (Amy’s organic, my favorite). It was cold in the field today. 

We love Amy's soups and pizzas.

19 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Each a balanced diet and you shouldn't need a cleansing. It would be interesting to know what she considers a "healthy fat".  I don't think peanut butter fits that description.

Seriously.  Maybe she should see a doctor.  Or maybe she just jumps on every fad that has ever been tried.

Edited October 28, 2019 by Twopper

[ginger90]

Received this in my email just now:

😂😂😂

[laurakaye]

At first I read it as "Nutrition Couch Certification" and thought - no wonder Janelle signed up!

[Kohola3]

So another twist on some sort of Get Rich Quick scheme.  How do people fall for this crap?  And what kind of legitimate business goes on sale?

A couch certification makes as much sense.

[Twopper]

9 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

So another twist on some sort of Get Rich Quick scheme.  How do people fall for this crap?  And what kind of legitimate business goes on sale?

A couch certification makes as much sense.

Well, in Janelle's case it makes more sense.

I am drinking green tea;  I wonder when Janelle will discover or rediscover that.

[laurakaye]

55 minutes ago, Twopper said:

I am drinking green tea;  I wonder when Janelle will discover or rediscover that.

Only if it helps with digestion.

[Twopper]

10 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Only if it helps with digestion.

I thought that was one of its benefits, although I only drink it because it is the only tea I can drink without sugar.  Lots of sugar.  My mom used to ask if I wanted tea with my sugar. 

[laurakaye]

After green tea, Janelle is going to regale us with her story of how she discovered that actually chewing her food aids with digestion.  And also that water is wet.

[Teafortwo]

4 hours ago, laurakaye said:

After green tea, Janelle is going to regale us with her story of how she discovered that actually chewing her food aids with digestion.  And also that water is wet.

We get SofaSloth to hose her down, then she'll know!!

[ginger90]

[ginger90]

[Kohola3]

Decomposing garbage produces METHANE!  OMG, who knew?

She really is a moron.  We have a whole municipal complex in southern Michigan situated near an old landfill. It's run entirely on methane.

At first I thought that compost pail was a toilet.  How appropriate for the the Bloated One.

Speaking of which, does she know that flatulence contains methane?  Yikes, indeed.

[DakotaJustice]

What? Our local garbage collection includes a compost bin and has for years.

[AZChristian]

From the caption, it looks like she only abstained because of the cold weather.  Because we all know that Cold Stone Creamery's ice cream is ROCK STAR!!!

[Nysha]

1. Wow! Kody showed up for a visit with his other family.
2. Garrison looks just like Kody and acts like him, too.
3. I don't recognize other boy next to Kody.
4. Janelle is a special type of dumb. I can't believe the number of common sense/common knowledge items she is just learning.

[xwordfanatik]

I believe that's Gabe next to the Sperminator.  Ain't it grand that Kootie spared a whole, what? hour? to hang with Janelle's spawn.  Queenie must be sobbin' her lil' eyes out.

[Natalie68]

On 10/27/2019 at 11:18 AM, ginger90 said:

I don't know a lot about cleanses but I have never heard of a cleanse that included meat.  Is she actually saying Caleb and Christine do a cleanse with meat?  Or is it just her poor writing?

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

It's never too cold for ice cream - I think she just didn't want to eat it in front of Kody. 

BTDT.

[ginger90]

[Gramto6]

Oh gawd! I just don't understand what she is so busy doing. So standing up and doing a stretch for 5 minutes helped everything. GMAFB!

Edited October 31, 2019 by Gramto6
typo

[DakotaJustice]

WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO ALL DAY?

[xwordfanatik]

6 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO ALL DAY?

The eternal question.  Besides eat, I'm stumped.

[laurakaye]

15 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

It's never too cold for ice cream - I think she just didn't want to eat it in front of Kody. 

This times 10000.  You cannot tell me that Janelle - she of the almighty, eternal daily struggles between good food and evil food - sat there and watched her family eat ice cream in front of her without her wanting some.  It would've been far more honest to just post the picture and leave out the lie where she says that she abstained.  Get over yourself, Janelle.  You might be fooling Madge from Dubuque but the rest of us see through you.

And now we have "stretching" as the latest rockstar.  Can "breathing" be far behind?

[Pickleinthemiddle]

11 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO ALL DAY?

I really believe that Janelle is just disorganized.  I try to follow the same routine M-F, to make sure that I am getting everything done.  Otherwise I forget important things that have to be done.  That coupled with what is probably depression, makes the situation worse.  With two teens there is no reason everything should be left to Janelle to do.  Let the kids take some responsibility.

[TurtlePower]

12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Warning: Major vent ahead

Jesus fucking Christ, Janelle. Stretching at your desk! Who fucking knew? EVERYONE, Janelle. Everyone who has common sense and knows anything. 

She sounds more stupid every day in keeping the Strive shit going—does she not read responses? Surely we aren’t the only one asking, “Why don’t you know this already?” She posts information most people already know in their 20s and she makes it sound like she’s just discovered it!  How goddam dumb is this twit? Does she just not see how stupid she sounds? 

You guys, I’d feel sorry for her if it weren’t for the continuation of this farce of a business. Stretching at her desk! It’s “crazy” how much better she feels! Like, first time EVER! 

Idiot. 

[DaphneCat]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

You might be fooling Madge from Dubuque but the rest of us see through you.

Hey, I'm Madge from Dubuque and am quite insulted that you think I'm that stupid😁

[DakotaJustice]

58 minutes ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I really believe that Janelle is just disorganized.  I try to follow the same routine M-F, to make sure that I am getting everything done.  Otherwise I forget important things that have to be done.  That coupled with what is probably depression, makes the situation worse.  With two teens there is no reason everything should be left to Janelle to do.  Let the kids take some responsibility.

But she doesn't have a job. The kids are both in school, studying and attending classes is the equivalent of a full time job IMO.  she lives in a rental which means if anything breaks or malfunctions she can just have the landlord take care of it. Unless of course it was due to your own negligence or your own personal property. I'm guessing she's got a Roomba (not knocking it because I LOVE MINE!) and anyway she uses the same 4 chipped plates all the time! And we've seen her bathroom before 😳

[laurakaye]

This. ^^  She constantly regales us with how very very verrrrrrrry busy she is - so busy, in fact, that she sometimes forgets to stand up!  Or cook!  Or walk!  Or eat foods that don't come from a drive-thru!  And she is far, FAR too busy to link her stupid recipes for the suckers people that sadly, unfortunately, actually DO pay her for health advice because she's on teevee and, you, know, CERTIFIED and all.  If she wants to do damage to herself, that's on her, but she absolutely needs to step away from the laptop so as not to give anyone the impression that she knows what she's talking about.  She doesn't.  At all.

Edited October 31, 2019 by laurakaye

[xwordfanatik]

Remember in the very first episode of SW, Janelle claimed to not know what polygamy was?  How on earth did she grow up in Utah and not know?

That should have been our clue that Janelle is as dumb as a fence post.  These Strive posts are just pathetic.  Janelle, stop it.  You look more stupid with each one!

[Cherry Cola]

13 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO ALL DAY?

Not Kody. 😄

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Cherry Cola said:

Not Kody. 😄

Right.  That would take energy, and burn a few calories.

[BradandJanet]

I feel a bit sorry for Janelle because she sounds depressed. Still, she is supremely annoying. She can't cleanse her problems away with green juice. 

If the point of this TV show is to show the joys of polygamy, it has failed miserably.