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Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears


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42 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Great insight, @General Days.  My impression was always that Meri wanted the wet bar for entertaining the family, which was an eye-roller, since no one usually stepped foot in Meri's house unless they absolutely had to.  I forgot that she hosted the MLM parties, which is where "Sam" first met her, if I'm not mistaken.

I guess in a family of shillers, someone has to have a large and clean space for snagging in more down-liners.  It would also explain why we never saw her actually doing anything with the wet bar, since no one could talk about their MLMs on tv.

Meri also used to do Christmas Eve for the family. Also, didn’t the catfish attend one of the Mlm parties?

I think yet another reason that Meri got her way with the bigger house was that Kody also owned it because they were legally married at the time.

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I think they were enamoured by the prospect of having four new homes in a small gated community so they could be near each other but maintain some independence from each other, and have their privacy. I think Meri getting an equal sized home was more of a problem for the viewers than their family. Within their family, she was the legal wife and always benefitting from the same budget as the others, even though she only had one child. It's the way they set up their finances at the time, and she was vocal about why she deserved it, and was determined to maintain the status quo in that regard. She once said something along the lines of planning to have 8 kids but only getting one, and how that wasn't her fault, and she shouldn't be punished financially for it. Having said that, I agree with what other posters have said about the benefit of Meri's house being used for their MLMs, but I think she might have been pushed to use her house that way by the others. 

I remember in the episode where they were selecting the options for each house, Kody was pleading with Meri to make up her mind on the finishings, and to consider regular features instead of upgraded ones. I specifically remember one exchange about French doors off the dining area, where Meri barked, "I'm not havin' a slider, Kody!" She was miserable, demanding, insufferable and completely exasperating in that episode. Kinda like Kody. 

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48 minutes ago, Spisee Hotsos said:

 

I remember in the episode where they were selecting the options for each house, Kody was pleading with Meri to make up her mind on the finishings, and to consider regular features instead of upgraded ones. I specifically remember one exchange about French doors off the dining area, where Meri barked, "I'm not havin' a slider, Kody!" She was miserable, demanding, insufferable and completely exasperating in that episode. Kinda like Kody. 

Shortly after they moved in, TLC posted a virtual tour of each of the LV houses.

Meri's laundry room featured front load washer and dryer on platforms and Christine with 6 kids had mismatched beaters that looked like they had been dragged from Lehi.

Christine chose to invest in the facade of her house with a simulated turret.

The part that got me was Kody asking Christine to kick in her under budget surplus to offset Meri's shortfall.  Meri did end up paying for her overbudget items herself but it took amazing gall for Kody to even ask.

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3 hours ago, Sandy W said:

The part that got me was Kody asking Christine to kick in her under budget surplus to offset Meri's shortfall.  Meri did end up paying for her overbudget items herself but it took amazing gall for Kody to even ask.

It did take gall, except since they were using Meri's house for the family's business purposes, maybe it took less gall than we think.

If four of us here were in business together, and we were all buying new houses in a cul-de-sac, but we were going keep our inventory in your house, and use your house as our business HQ, maybe it would make sense if we all chipped in a little for that part of it.

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Interesting.  I stopped watching this show right after they moved to Vegas and then picked it up again last year and slowly caught up on all seasons.  I had no idea that she hosted MLM parties.  I was not around for the catfishing, either.

MLM hosting aside, I agree that she should have comparable living conditions (and on the Vegas lots there was no option but to have comparable houses) but one wife struggling to feed her kids while two people live high on the hog will never sit right with me.  Not when you purport yourself to be one big family with everything intertwined.

I can still hear Meri's condescending "I'm sorry that you think I took something that you thought was yours, Janelle".  Or similar.  What a biotch.  Yet Janelle gave up her inheritance and cashed in her retirement funds.

Edited by BnJJ
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50 minutes ago, General Days said:

If four of us here were in business together, and we were all buying new houses in a cul-de-sac, but we were going keep our inventory in your house, and use your house as our business HQ, maybe it would make sense if we all chipped in a little for that part of it.

Maybe. I don't like it, though, because otherwise the space would have sat empty for Meri to walk by and gloat about having. Strikes me as her contribution to the family at that point. 

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18 minutes ago, altopower said:

Maybe. I don't like it, though, because otherwise the space would have sat empty for Meri to walk by and gloat about having. Strikes me as her contribution to the family at that point. 

I thought it was fine for Meri to have a comparable house. For them to be in the same neighborhood (which is what made most sense to me), they were going to have houses roughly the same size. And it seemed fair to me that they should have comparably priced houses as long term financial assets (though the Browns never seem to stay in any single house for long).

What I didn't like was the insistence on equal budgets for food. That definitely should have been per capita, I thought. No way that it cost Meri the same amount to feed herself and Leon as it cost Janelle to feed herself and six kids (and what - five boys)? Also money for higher education; that, it seemed, should have been a more equal split amongst the kids as well as other things like cars, clothing, etc.

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1 minute ago, Elizzikra said:

What I didn't like was the insistence on equal budgets for food.

I agree. That was so petty. And when they were in Lehi living in a home Janelle used her inheritance to purchase it seemed extra petty. 

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Kody did insist that all kids receive equal funding for college, did he not?  I distinctly recall Leon having a toddler's meltdown over it ('all I hear is you saying that I can't go to college') and Meri being all put out.  That's not at all what Kody said.

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9 hours ago, Sandy W said:

Meri's laundry room featured front load washer and dryer on platforms and Christine with 6 kids had mismatched beaters that looked like they had been dragged from Lehi.

Christine did laundry for seven in her beater while Meri did laundry for one in her Mercedes. Sounds about right. I have zero sympathy for Meri, about anything. 

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I wouldn’t die for any of these people, but I will stub my big toe on the hill that Meri getting equal family money for two humans as the Janelle, Christine and even ROBYN with 7 humans in a household is nothing but stubborn, selfish, jealous bullshit.

Meri demanded budget for non existent kids while real, living kids who were under the same roof were struggling. That is nonsense and I have no clue why they agreed to it. 
We all get that Meri wanted more kids and I am sorry she did not have them. But to punish the other kids, not just the wives but the kids, was beyond vile. 
By the time they bought the Vegas McMansions and had show money, kody asking Christine to give some of her budget so Meri could have a wet bar - why didn’t they tel Meri to save some of her grocery money?

This is the main reason I can never be team Meri.

The other hill I will stub a toe on, is no matter how obnoxious and cruel Kody is, Meri cheated. She tried her best to leave with Catfish and was already gloating about how amazing he was. When she found out she was catfished, embarrassed, and lost her escape route, she stayed. Does not matter that Kody had four wives. That was their religion, they all agreed, they were all faithful to that relationship. Meri cheated with a con artist. She tried to get her child to cover for her. If Kody and Leon couldn’t forgive that, I understand. 
Meri made the rilly, rilly, desperately stupid mistakes of taking credit for bringing Robyn in and complying with giving her legal wife status. But she did those things with the intent of gaining favor with kody and holding something over being Janelle and Christine. It was not out of love, it was out of competition. Meri has always been awful and if relationships were destroyed, it’s her own fault. 

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1 hour ago, RazzleberryPie said:

The other hill I will stub a toe on, is no matter how obnoxious and cruel Kody is, Meri cheated. She tried her best to leave with Catfish and was already gloating about how amazing he was. When she found out she was catfished, embarrassed, and lost her escape route, she stayed. Does not matter that Kody had four wives. That was their religion, they all agreed, they were all faithful to that relationship. Meri cheated with a con artist. She tried to get her child to cover for her. If Kody and Leon couldn’t forgive that, I understand. 
Meri made the rilly, rilly, desperately stupid mistakes of taking credit for bringing Robyn in and complying with giving her legal wife status. But she did those things with the intent of gaining favor with kody and holding something over being Janelle and Christine. It was not out of love, it was out of competition. Meri has always been awful and if relationships were destroyed, it’s her own fault. 

Cheating doesn’t grind my gears as much as the typical person. I totally understand if it’s not acceptable to someone and trust is broken, but to me it’s not “the worst” (outside of criminal behavior)- I think financially infidelity is way worst than sexual infidelity. 

However, if Kody couldn’t let it go, that’s his right, but it doesn’t give him the right to treat her like crap until the end of time. Either forgive and move forward, or end the relationship (outright, not “quiet quitting”). I understand why Leon was upset because Meri just didn’t listen to them (over and over again), but Leon loves their Mom and got over it with time. 
 

If Meri doesn’t have as many close relationships in the family as she would like it’s her own damn fault. It’s not Kody’s fault or the fault of Janelle/Christine but Meri’s. I think she knows she has to live with that, and I hope she’s building a community for herself for her own emotional well-being. 

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8 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Cheating doesn’t grind my gears as much as the typical person. I totally understand if it’s not acceptable to someone and trust is broken, but to me it’s not “the worst” (outside of criminal behavior)- I think financially infidelity is way worst than sexual infidelity. 

However, if Kody couldn’t let it go, that’s his right, but it doesn’t give him the right to treat her like crap until the end of time. Either forgive and move forward, or end the relationship (outright, not “quiet quitting”). I understand why Leon was upset because Meri just didn’t listen to them (over and over again), but Leon loves their Mom and got over it with time. 
 

If Meri doesn’t have as many close relationships in the family as she would like it’s her own damn fault. It’s not Kody’s fault or the fault of Janelle/Christine but Meri’s. I think she knows she has to live with that, and I hope she’s building a community for herself for her own emotional well-being. 

I agree with you Scarlett, 

JMO but I think maybe the reason Kody didn't just tell Meri that it was over, no chance of it ever being fixed and she should just go away is because AS USUAL Robyn was behind it.

She didn't want Meri cut loose or leaving because Meri was the only one who supported her and didn't think she was a snake so Robyn told Kody to basically string Meri along for her benefit. 

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1 hour ago, Dustbunny said:

I agree with you Scarlett, 

JMO but I think maybe the reason Kody didn't just tell Meri that it was over, no chance of it ever being fixed and she should just go away is because AS USUAL Robyn was behind it.

She didn't want Meri cut loose or leaving because Meri was the only one who supported her and didn't think she was a snake so Robyn told Kody to basically string Meri along for her benefit. 

I could see this. 

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2 hours ago, Dustbunny said:

I agree with you Scarlett, 

JMO but I think maybe the reason Kody didn't just tell Meri that it was over, no chance of it ever being fixed and she should just go away is because AS USUAL Robyn was behind it.

She didn't want Meri cut loose or leaving because Meri was the only one who supported her and didn't think she was a snake so Robyn told Kody to basically string Meri along for her benefit. 

I also think protecting their “brand” and the narrative of the show came into play. Money means a lot to Kody— he told Suki that poverty was his biggest fear. He was willing to keep Meri around for as long as he could stand to protect the show —as well as potentially benefiting from some  of Meri’s income that she could add to the family pot.

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57 minutes ago, Adiba said:

I also think protecting their “brand” and the narrative of the show came into play. Money means a lot to Kody— he told Suki that poverty was his biggest fear. He was willing to keep Meri around for as long as he could stand to protect the show —as well as potentially benefiting from some  of Meri’s income that she could add to the family pot.

I can see this as well. 

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I think yet another reason that Meri got her way with the bigger house was that Kody also owned it because they were legally married at the time.

Meri advocates for herself, and she advocated for her kid. I have total respect for that. Meri didn't tell Christine or Janelle they had to give birth 6 times each. And at any point, Christine and Janelle could have gotten full time jobs and sued Kody for child support. Janelle didn't have to give Kody and Robyn the money from the sale of her Las Vegas house. She chose to give in and hand it over.

Meri takes a harder stance with the money but gives in and grovels and begs when it comes to the relationship. I think she has some serious self esteem issues.

 

 

 

 

 

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17 hours ago, Dustbunny said:

I agree with you Scarlett, 

JMO but I think maybe the reason Kody didn't just tell Meri that it was over, no chance of it ever being fixed and she should just go away is because AS USUAL Robyn was behind it.

She didn't want Meri cut loose or leaving because Meri was the only one who supported her and didn't think she was a snake so Robyn told Kody to basically string Meri along for her benefit. 

Also it didn't hurt Meri (Janelle/Christine) were making $$ so baby didn't have to work.  

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57 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

 

Meri takes a harder stance with the money but gives in and grovels and begs when it comes to the relationship. I think she has some serious self esteem issues.

 

 

 

 

 

There as nothing wrong with her self esteem when she was able to lord it over Janelle, Christine and their kids.

She became cocksure of herself and miscalculated the impact bringing Robyn into the fold would have.

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown"

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On 9/22/2023 at 6:26 PM, Kellyee said:

Meri advocates for herself, and she advocated for her kid. I have total respect for that. Meri didn't tell Christine or Janelle they had to give birth 6 times each. And at any point, Christine and Janelle could have gotten full time jobs and sued Kody for child support.

Janelle had a fulltime job for a long time. Christine had a fulltime job raising 13 kids. Meri only ever worked parttime and had absolutely no qualms over taking (unpaid) time off, or resigning completely so she could accompany Kody on his many business trips (per their own book) She had by far, the best deal and all privileges. 
As for child support: I suppose that’s a tricky one… How many Brown kids have Kody officially registered as their dad on their birth certificates? For fear of prosecution, most fathers weren’t registered when kids were born in a polygamous relationship. Because of the tv show, they could probably prove his relationship easily in court, however, most kids were adults after the separation, so I doubt there was much left to claim… 

 

 

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6 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

$50 for that?  Does one at least get lunch?

Meri rilly thinks she is all that, doesn't she?  Who would make a trip just to walk through her (supposedly) haunted house?  Unbelievable!

Just snacks..a Chilly Dill and a banana!

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12 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

$50 for that?  Does one at least get lunch?

Well, for an additional $10, you get one of her World Famous RIce Krispie Treats.

How long can it possibly take to tour that place, 10 minutes?  It's not like you're touring the Vatican.  And a whole lot less interesting.

Ever the entrepreneur, taking advantage of the show. I bet visitors have to sign a NDA and agree not to ask questions about the fambly,

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On 9/15/2023 at 7:39 PM, Joan of Argh said:

Ya I think the only reason Meri acted all GungHo for plural marriage was because Kody was interested and it pleases him, she was insanely jealous from the minute Janelle joined the family and hated sharing Kody so I’m never gonna believe she wanted it no matter what BS she wrote in their book.

the only reason Meri was all happy about bringing Robyn onboard is because it made Kody happy to sneak around with Meri and plan the arrival of his new fuck toy.

Meri expected Robyn would be her Buddy against the other two but Robyn had other plans and once Kody had Robyn he didn’t need his little sneaky pal Meri anymore so he kicked her jealous dumb ass to the curb.

This. I remember reading about all this, how Meri and Kody snuck around and kept it from the other wives for a time. Meri thought this would be benefit her, but instead Kody fell in love and began playing favourites immediately.

The family had issues, but I bet this is the one thing Meri wishes she hadn’t done. The arrival of Robyn doomed them all, as Robyn had her own malicious motives.

Robyn never wanted sister wives as equals, she wanted sister wives to lord over and make jealous and MERI made it all happen. 

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17 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

$50 for that?  Does one at least get lunch?

Meri rilly thinks she is all that, doesn't she?  Who would make a trip just to walk through her (supposedly) haunted house?  Unbelievable!

 

5 hours ago, Orcinus orca said:

Well, for an additional $10, you get one of her World Famous RIce Krispie Treats.

How long can it possibly take to tour that place, 10 minutes?  It's not like you're touring the Vatican.  And a whole lot less interesting.

Ever the entrepreneur, taking advantage of the show. I bet visitors have to sign a NDA and agree not to ask questions about the fambly,

If Meri had actors or tour guides dressed up in theme, telling stories about the inn, while providing refreshments I could see it being worth $50, but you would have to get a PERFORMANCE out of it. 
 

But this is Meri we are talking about so my expectations aren’t high. But I’ve been to those type of events that were cool. 

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On 9/22/2023 at 12:26 PM, Kellyee said:

Meri advocates for herself, and she advocated for her kid. I have total respect for that. Meri didn't tell Christine or Janelle they had to give birth 6 times each. And at any point, Christine and Janelle could have gotten full time jobs and sued Kody for child support. Janelle didn't have to give Kody and Robyn the money from the sale of her Las Vegas house. She chose to give in and hand it over.

Meri takes a harder stance with the money but gives in and grovels and begs when it comes to the relationship. I think she has some serious self esteem issues.

 

 

 

 

 

I think so too and it’s even more evident with her editing the crap out of every photo she shares of herself. 

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On 9/24/2023 at 1:55 AM, xwordfanatik said:

$50 for that?  Does one at least get lunch?

Meri rilly thinks she is all that, doesn't she?  Who would make a trip just to walk through her (supposedly) haunted house?  Unbelievable!

Yet I see a tremendous business opportunity here. Imagine a Halloween tour of the creepy mansion with horrible polygamy stories (which should be easy), psycho Kody lurking in one of the bedrooms, and Robyn the witch wailing in the basement. Sounds like fun to me! 

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On 9/23/2023 at 4:25 PM, ginger90 said:

$50 per person:

6D359CE0-CF2C-4982-8C2E-F68707137897.jpeg

I heard about this on YOUTUBE.  I think this is a great use of that spot.  The cost is reasonable, you get to see a Z list star and her croney and hello!  Anything ghosts I am in.  If it were closer I would give it a whirl.

On 9/23/2023 at 4:55 PM, xwordfanatik said:

$50 for that?  Does one at least get lunch?

Meri rilly thinks she is all that, doesn't she?  Who would make a trip just to walk through her (supposedly) haunted house?  Unbelievable!

It is only a place I would visit if it were convenient.  Like the largest ball of twine.  But I am SOOOO down for a ghost tour.  

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45 minutes ago, Orcinus orca said:

What a crock.  Fifty bucks for a load of made up BS.  But lies are their MO in life so she's good at that.

The only haunting that goes on there is Meri pacing the halls chanting "Double double, toil and trouble"

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I always figured Meri and Kody were more like close best friends then romantic... and when toxic Robyn came into the mix, the friendship between Meri/Kody was pretty much over.

It reminded me of all those times when kids are best friends one week, and then the next week comes around and one of the kids no longer wants to be best friends... and the other kid is left wondering what they did wrong, etc.   I view Meri/Kody like that.. and I'm hoping Meri has finally gotten the message that Kody doesn't want to be friends with her.. and she moves on to new friends and men.

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Meri’s brother Adam passed away. Using the spoiler because the post is long.

Spoiler

About 5 weeks ago I got a text from my brother saying he had made the decision to not continue his chemo treatment, due to the rapid progression of his cancer & deterioration of his body.

Yesterday, Oct 5, 2023, just 2 months short of his 55th birthday, we lost him.

I have so many good memories with him over the years, because, siblings. I also have some not so good memories with him through the years, because, siblings. 😆

Shortly after I learned that Adam's cancer was terminal & that he potentially had only weeks or months to live, something hit me like a ton of bricks.

After his passing, I would be the one remaining from the original four.

We lost Teresa, our sister just younger than me, to cancer in 2006. We lost our oldest brother Marc to heart issues in 2015. Now Adam to another type of cancer.

That leaves me.

Now, I understand that it's not just me. I still have 3 younger sisters with us, the 7 of us just mom's kids. Plus many other siblings from our large family structure.

I don't yet understand why his passing, and leaving me as the one remaining of the original four, is impacting me like it is.

The only 4 that were born in CA and have memories of our young childhood there?

The only 4 that were in existence before we moved to Utah where mom & dad began their lives as a plural family?

Maybe because we were born in closer succession, with only 1-1/2 to 2 years between us all? Even still, Elaine, child number 5, was only 3 years later. 

I don't know what it is, but there's always been something about the original 4. Not better, just different. Not closer, just different. 

Maybe I'll figure it out someday, maybe I won't. Only time will tell.

Regardless, (and you have no idea how bad I want to type in 'irregardless' there, in honor of him & our many arguments about whether that is even a word) I will move forward living, loving, forgiving, remembering.

The relationship I had with him taught me many things, and I have no doubt will continue to teach me things. I remain open to those lessons & look forward to them with anticipation.

For now, I remember him with honor, kindness, & love.

PS Adam, I have the last word. And that is REGARDLESS 💙

 

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Meri’s brother Adam passed away. Using the spoiler because the post is long.

  Reveal spoiler

About 5 weeks ago I got a text from my brother saying he had made the decision to not continue his chemo treatment, due to the rapid progression of his cancer & deterioration of his body.

Yesterday, Oct 5, 2023, just 2 months short of his 55th birthday, we lost him.

I have so many good memories with him over the years, because, siblings. I also have some not so good memories with him through the years, because, siblings. 😆

Shortly after I learned that Adam's cancer was terminal & that he potentially had only weeks or months to live, something hit me like a ton of bricks.

After his passing, I would be the one remaining from the original four.

We lost Teresa, our sister just younger than me, to cancer in 2006. We lost our oldest brother Marc to heart issues in 2015. Now Adam to another type of cancer.

That leaves me.

Now, I understand that it's not just me. I still have 3 younger sisters with us, the 7 of us just mom's kids. Plus many other siblings from our large family structure.

I don't yet understand why his passing, and leaving me as the one remaining of the original four, is impacting me like it is.

The only 4 that were born in CA and have memories of our young childhood there?

The only 4 that were in existence before we moved to Utah where mom & dad began their lives as a plural family?

Maybe because we were born in closer succession, with only 1-1/2 to 2 years between us all? Even still, Elaine, child number 5, was only 3 years later. 

I don't know what it is, but there's always been something about the original 4. Not better, just different. Not closer, just different. 

Maybe I'll figure it out someday, maybe I won't. Only time will tell.

Regardless, (and you have no idea how bad I want to type in 'irregardless' there, in honor of him & our many arguments about whether that is even a word) I will move forward living, loving, forgiving, remembering.

The relationship I had with him taught me many things, and I have no doubt will continue to teach me things. I remain open to those lessons & look forward to them with anticipation.

For now, I remember him with honor, kindness, & love.

PS Adam, I have the last word. And that is REGARDLESS 💙

 

Meri's message is lovely-- sweet  loving, funny and sad . She has suffered a lot of loss in her family. May she find some peace . 

Is the the brother that was married to Janelle? 

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I am concerned.  I’m starting to like Meri this season. She shut mumbling, dead tone Robyn down.   I don’t know what to do with this lol.  Her filtered pics still bug me, I’m her age and there’s no shame in aging. 

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9 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I am concerned.  I’m starting to like Meri this season. She shut mumbling, dead tone Robyn down.   I don’t know what to do with this lol.  Her filtered pics still bug me, I’m her age and there’s no shame in aging. 

Same, exactly same. 

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10 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I am concerned.  I’m starting to like Meri this season. She shut mumbling, dead tone Robyn down.   I don’t know what to do with this lol.  Her filtered pics still bug me, I’m her age and there’s no shame in aging. 

Don't allow yourself to be tricked. The bar is low. Meri is just less odious than Robyn or Kody.

I like seeing her realize that Robyn and Kody are craptastic narcissists, but that doesn't mean that Meri isn't selfish or cruel.

So I have decided to say that I am enjoying Meri this season.

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On 10/6/2023 at 4:22 PM, ginger90 said:

Meri’s brother Adam passed away. Using the spoiler because the post is long.

  Reveal spoiler

About 5 weeks ago I got a text from my brother saying he had made the decision to not continue his chemo treatment, due to the rapid progression of his cancer & deterioration of his body.

Yesterday, Oct 5, 2023, just 2 months short of his 55th birthday, we lost him.

I have so many good memories with him over the years, because, siblings. I also have some not so good memories with him through the years, because, siblings. 😆

Shortly after I learned that Adam's cancer was terminal & that he potentially had only weeks or months to live, something hit me like a ton of bricks.

After his passing, I would be the one remaining from the original four.

We lost Teresa, our sister just younger than me, to cancer in 2006. We lost our oldest brother Marc to heart issues in 2015. Now Adam to another type of cancer.

That leaves me.

Now, I understand that it's not just me. I still have 3 younger sisters with us, the 7 of us just mom's kids. Plus many other siblings from our large family structure.

I don't yet understand why his passing, and leaving me as the one remaining of the original four, is impacting me like it is.

The only 4 that were born in CA and have memories of our young childhood there?

The only 4 that were in existence before we moved to Utah where mom & dad began their lives as a plural family?

Maybe because we were born in closer succession, with only 1-1/2 to 2 years between us all? Even still, Elaine, child number 5, was only 3 years later. 

I don't know what it is, but there's always been something about the original 4. Not better, just different. Not closer, just different. 

Maybe I'll figure it out someday, maybe I won't. Only time will tell.

Regardless, (and you have no idea how bad I want to type in 'irregardless' there, in honor of him & our many arguments about whether that is even a word) I will move forward living, loving, forgiving, remembering.

The relationship I had with him taught me many things, and I have no doubt will continue to teach me things. I remain open to those lessons & look forward to them with anticipation.

For now, I remember him with honor, kindness, & love.

PS Adam, I have the last word. And that is REGARDLESS 💙

 

Poor Meri. 

I find myself now seeing Bonnie's passing as a mercy, in that she didn't have to endure the death of yet another child.

On Facebook, Meri posted a couple of pictures of the "original four" kids in the Bonnie/Bill family. It made me think about how, in big families, often there are subgroups of kids who are closer in age. We've even seen it with the kids on the show, to some extent.

It also made me wonder what impact Meri parents' conversion to the AUB and polygamy had upon her psyche. I usually slot Christine and Meri as the only two Brown wives who truly grew up in polygamy. While Meri did live it in childhood (more than Robyn did) it's not how it all began for her.

For Meri's "tender aged" (sorry) childhood, it was Daddy, Mommy, and four kids, living a more or less typical LDS family lifestyle in California. Bill and Bonnie then uprooted those kids and took them to Utah, while Bill went on to marry four other women. I think he had something like 25 kids total (eventually most? all? of his plural wives left him too).

The first four Barber kids must have felt abandoned sometimes. There had to be some alienation of paternal affection, just due to the practicalities of fathering a lot of kids with five women — like we saw with Kody, in the early days of the show, when he still seemed to try to be a good father, but spent more time with his boys than his girls, and more time with Sol, because he was the baby. (By the time Ariella was born, I would argue Kody was no longer trying with the OG13.)

I wonder if Meri has ever been able and willing to unpack how her parents' conversion and adoption of polygamy affected her — in therapy. I remember Kody saying a lot of therapists just look at plural families and say, "The problem is polygamy." It seems to me that they presented Pat, and later Nancy, as two who were willing to accept their lifestyle as fact and go from there. It also seemed to me at the time, that that was Kody code for, "We won't work with a therapist who thinks polygamy is problematic."

I can see some value in working with a plyg-positive therapist, but at some point, it would seem to me that a person would have to dig into all the effects polygamy has had on them, good and bad (even if they want to/can conclude that the good makes the bad worth it). I think it's likely the Browns haven't been open to that.

I wonder how much of Meri's issues stem from having her nuclear family more or less destroyed, in service of Bill's plural family. I wonder how that affected her marriage (apart from all the problematic issues being married to Kody Brown as a solo wife or a plural wife would bring). I wonder how it affected her emotional control. I wonder if the seeds of her anger and her control issues were sown when her parents upended the family of her early childhood.

I don't know. I don't really have a way to wrap this up. I guess, if given the opportunity to pick one of the Brown brains [insert your own slim pickings joke here], I'd pick Meri's.

 

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