Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[Scarlett45]

16 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

@Scarlett45, I have no idea if my car has Bluetooth or USB! I take public transportation to work, so use the car mostly for running errands. I guess I’ve never needed either one of those things, but now I’m curious. My car has at least 5 more years on it so I’ll just have to dream about all the fancy stuff for now. Stupid reliable Subarus.....

This tickles me so much. Do you ever charge your phone in your car or listen to music/podcasts or talk on the phone? If you do and haven’t noticed you likely don’t have Bluetooth or USB. 
 

But if your car is a 2010 you probably do have it!🤣

[Meowwww]

I had foils and a cut the other day. I was the only one in the salon, my stylist wore a mask, and it wasn’t scary at all.  And it’s nice to not have 3 inches of dark brown roots.  Risk vs reward I guess.  

I have my truck and a 2008 Honda Element.  In my Element, there’s no Bluetooth.  So I listen to the radio.  In my truck, I hook my phone up and only listen to my Apple Music. 

[Pickleinthemiddle]

4 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I had foils and a cut the other day. I was the only one in the salon, my stylist wore a mask, and it wasn’t scary at all.  And it’s nice to not have 3 inches of dark brown roots.  Risk vs reward I guess.  

I have my truck and a 2008 Honda Element.  In my Element, there’s no Bluetooth.  So I listen to the radio.  In my truck, I hook my phone up and only listen to my Apple Music. 

I just made an appointment to have my hair done it has been at least since March since I last had my hair cut and colored.  Mine is gray roots showing.  I have to wear a hat at work so at least my gray is covered.😆

[lookeyloo]

I have been coloring my own hair for years.  I have tried all the box colors and for a few years have been using the cheap Revlon Color Silk. It works just as well for me as the spendier ones. I tried at the beginning to let the white grow out, but hated it.  If I decide to do that, I will go to a salon and have them do it all at once - I'd prefer white/gray vs. blonde.  I have to color the roots every 3-4 weeks but I've gotten it down to a pretty easy process where I rinse it off in the shower.  I also color my eyebrows.  I've been cutting Mr lookeyloo's hair.  It is just regular hair with no cowlicks, not a fancy style, etc. We got some clippers and I watched a bunch of YouTube videos.  This last one was pretty darn good.  I've been cutting my own, also with help of YouTube videos.  A little more challenging, but it is a simple bob with lots of forgiveness.  

There are several products to spray on the roots, or a powders to sprinkle on.  I use them in a pinch.  They work pretty well.  I can hide the rest of the roots in the style but that white part really annoys me.

[xwordfanatik]

If anyone has watched That Girl (I was a teen when it came out, and wanted Marlo's wardrobe) my hair looks like Rosemary DeCamp's, who played her mother.  I haven't taken to wearing it in a bun like she did, yet.  I'm OK with it, for now.  I cut Mr. Xword's hair, and he doesn't complain.

[ehall1052]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

If anyone has watched That Girl (I was a teen when it came out, and wanted Marlo's wardrobe) my hair looks like Rosemary DeCamp's, who played her mother.  I haven't taken to wearing it in a bun like she did, yet.  I'm OK with it, for now.  I cut Mr. Xword's hair, and he doesn't complain.

I LOVED That Girl!!! I wanted Marlo’s wardrobe, her hair, and an apartment with the view of the Empire State Building (that you saw at the end of the beginning credits). 😁

[galaxychaser]

I practically shaved my head as soon as the salon opened. I love it. No hair falls in my eyes. Of course now I am mistaken for a man 100% of the time.

[deirdra]

34 minutes ago, ehall1052 said:

I LOVED That Girl!!! I wanted Marlo’s wardrobe, her hair, and an apartment with the view of the Empire State Building (that you saw at the end of the beginning credits). 😁

The first dress I ever made in sewing class at age 12 was inspired by one of Marlo's, but I always preferred my hair to curl under, not flip up like my older sister's.  I also liked Marlo's expertly applied eyeliner, something I've never been good at.

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

If anyone has watched That Girl (I was a teen when it came out, and wanted Marlo's wardrobe) my hair looks like Rosemary DeCamp's, who played her mother.  I haven't taken to wearing it in a bun like she did, yet.  I'm OK with it, for now.  I cut Mr. Xword's hair, and he doesn't complain.

That Girl came out when I was 8.  I loved everything she wore, her hair, her makeup.  When I was a kid people told me I resembled her.  Must be the Sicilian since her mother was, and for a time I wore my hair like hers complete with flip.  I would say that I probably resemble Rachael Ray more (again, the Sicilian), although I have blue eyes and neither of them do.  I still wear my hair long, as long as Rachael, although recently she was having stuff done to it like curling and lightening that I don't do.  Rachael Ray is exactly 10 years younger than me to the day. There are a lot of freaky similarities between me and her but I won't bore everyone with all of them.  Although she is a raging extrovert and I'm a total introvert.  I'm not really a huge fan since she annoys me like she's a relative, but I've appreciated some of her recipes over the years.  Just a few days ago there was a big fire at her house in upstate NY.  It supposedly started upstairs so fortunately the kitchen was spared.  But there is extensive damage.  She was filming her daily show from her house for months during the pandemic and was spending a lot more time at home like everyone else.  What a horrible thing!

[Yeah No]

Well, in other news, I am feeling relieved about the pain in my side now since going to the doctor yesterday.  She thinks I either bruised or fractured a rib.  My blood tests all came back normal thankfully.  One less thing to worry about.  And I feel better too although I am still more tired than usual.  There's nothing you can do for this - It has to heal on its own.  She is sending me to the gastroenterologist that removed the gallstones from my bile duct for follow-up evaluation.  I am also going to call an old HS friend that's an emergency room doctor as this is a trauma injury and I'm sure he'll give me good advice.

Of course, in the vein of "everything happens in 3's" an old Jr. HS friend died a few days ago from pancreatic cancer.  I hadn't been in touch with her in decades but had been following her every now and then on Facebook.  I knew she had cancer so it wasn't a total shock.  Since my father's death 3 people that meant something to me at different times in my life died for non-Covid reasons.  When it rains, it pours.  After the first two deaths I knew there would be another one but somehow this old friend didn't cross my mind.  I was worried it would be my best friend who after two weeks in the hospital was sent home yesterday.  Two surgeries later, they still think it was an infection but they don't know what caused it.

 

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

23 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I have been coloring my own hair for years.  I have tried all the box colors and for a few years have been using the cheap Revlon Color Silk. It works just as well for me as the spendier ones. I tried at the beginning to let the white grow out, but hated it.  If I decide to do that, I will go to a salon and have them do it all at once - I'd prefer white/gray vs. blonde.  I have to color the roots every 3-4 weeks but I've gotten it down to a pretty easy process where I rinse it off in the shower.  I also color my eyebrows.  I've been cutting Mr lookeyloo's hair.  It is just regular hair with no cowlicks, not a fancy style, etc. We got some clippers and I watched a bunch of YouTube videos.  This last one was pretty darn good.  I've been cutting my own, also with help of YouTube videos.  A little more challenging, but it is a simple bob with lots of forgiveness.  

There are several products to spray on the roots, or a powders to sprinkle on.  I use them in a pinch.  They work pretty well.  I can hide the rest of the roots in the style but that white part really annoys me.

I haven't been to get my hair done since February...so being out of work I did relent and go to a "chop shop" for a trim..She did an ok job, you get what you pay for. I normally go and get all over color, cut and hi-lights but had to stop that due to no job. I needed to get some color, fix the darker roots and gray - brought Garnier and a mahogany color - well my hair is now a shade of purple - it doesn't look bad, kinda fun. Has anyone tried Madison Reed coloring for at home? My friend swears by it. You can order online or get it at Ulta, it is pricey but I ordered one and will try that out the next time 

[Pickleinthemiddle]

5 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I haven't been to get my hair done since February...so being out of work I did relent and go to a "chop shop" for a trim..She did an ok job, you get what you pay for. I normally go and get all over color, cut and hi-lights but had to stop that due to no job. I needed to get some color, fix the darker roots and gray - brought Garnier and a mahogany color - well my hair is now a shade of purple - it doesn't look bad, kinda fun. Has anyone tried Madison Reed coloring for at home? My friend swears by it. You can order online or get it at Ulta, it is pricey but I ordered one and will try that out the next time 

I've never had luck doing it myself, I can never get the roots properly covered where they are not noticeable.  The lady that does my hair does a pretty good job.  I have to look really hard to see it.  

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I've never had luck doing it myself, I can never get the roots properly covered where they are not noticeable.  The lady that does my hair does a pretty good job.  I have to look really hard to see it.  

I have color-resistant roots and on my medium-dark brown hair it can be noticeable so I tend to leave the color on the roots almost twice as long as they recommend for a touch-up application, which helps a lot, and for any areas that don't look right I use a temporary color.  L'Oreal makes a very good spray-on one, plus I use a mousse and a liquid made by Roux that I get at Sally Beauty.  I also have a touch-up pen for small areas.  Then a couple of weeks or so after the full touch-up application I use Clairol permanent root touch up on the roots which works very well to carry me over until my next full coloring.  For my regular color I use L'Oreal Preference.  I went through a period of experimentation over a decade ago and for me that was best the OTC brand for root coverage.  I liked it so much I never experimented with more professional brands.  My hair stylist seems to think I'm doing the best I can possibly do and tells me not to change anything, and I believe her! 

Years ago I used to have it professionally colored by a colorist that came highly recommended and I couldn't be more unhappy.  She complained that my hair was hard to figure out LOL and that she was having a hard time mixing the right formula for me.  After complaining that the highlights she was giving me were making my hair lighter all the time, she compensated by using a darker color and I came out looking like Morticia, LOL.  I can laugh about it now but at the time I was in tears.  So I've had much better luck doing my own hair than using a stylist.  I have since found out from doing my DNA that I have the kind of hair that is very susceptible to lightening from the sun (which I already knew because when I was young and outdoors a lot my hair would turn 2 shades lighter every summer).  I don't doubt that this also has an effect on how hair color works on my hair.  So after trial and error I've found the magic formula and I don't want to jinx it now!

[Kbo]

23 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I haven't been to get my hair done since February...so being out of work I did relent and go to a "chop shop" for a trim..She did an ok job, you get what you pay for. I normally go and get all over color, cut and hi-lights but had to stop that due to no job. I needed to get some color, fix the darker roots and gray - brought Garnier and a mahogany color - well my hair is now a shade of purple - it doesn't look bad, kinda fun. Has anyone tried Madison Reed coloring for at home? My friend swears by it. You can order online or get it at Ulta, it is pricey but I ordered one and will try that out the next time 

Let us know how the Madison Reed coloring goes!  I’ve been tempted to try it but never pulled the trigger. I colored my own hair for years but wasn’t thrilled with the results lately. I decided to have my stylist color and highlight it after the quarantine and I love it, but it’s not cheap 😲. It’s ironic that I have the best color job I’ve ever had and hardly anyone has seen it. Probably dumb to spend the money right now but it does lift my spirits a little so there’s that. 

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, Kbo said:

Probably dumb to spend the money right now but it does lift my spirits a little so there’s that. 

Sometimes we need to do things to stave off utter insanity.  I read once that women were queried as to the one single thing that can make them feel good or bad and the vast majority said that it was their hair.  I totally agree.  Not getting a haircut just about did me in and since I am single I wasn't going to try it myself!

[deirdra]

I finally gave myself a haircut for the first time since January, using a CreaClip and clippers (it is easier to cut in the back with clippers instead of scissors when you don't have a helper).  It is a simple shoulder-length wavy bob.  I had used the CreaClip before, when my hair was longer, but thought I'd try again, and it turned out better than my last 3 haircuts by professionals, who rarely can get the right side to turn under naturally. My coarse wavy hair has a mind of its own and needs to be cut 1" shorter underneath to turn under or it will flip every which way - I tell professionals this but they rarely listen and blame their wrists if the right side flips up when they are done.  I did it by cutting everything one length using the CreaClip as a guide, then pinned up the top half of my hair and cut the underneath hair another 1" shorter, then went around my head pulling vertical swaths straight out from my head and trimming any odd lengths between the top & bottom hairs. Let it airdry and it is perfect!

I don't dye my slowly fading red hair, but for those of you having problems keeping dye on your roots, I found with my mother's hair that you need to make sure the shampoo contains no sulfates - they strip colour.

Edited August 16, 2020 by deirdra

[suomi]

Some people are unhappy with sulfate free shampoos because they don't create a lather.

Sulfates in shampoo do two things, they cause oil and water to mix and they ensure a nice sudsy lather that in some cultures is associated with thorough cleaning. 

A sulfate is a good thing if your scalp produces excess oil and/or you use styling products made with oil.

A sulfate free shampoo sits on top of scalp oil and oily product residue, it does not mix with them and does not remove them efficiently. 

A sulfate lather tells you that scalp oil and oily product residue have been mixed with water and will be rinsed away. 

The two types of sulfate shampoo bases are salt and ammonia. If your hair is color-treated (or permed) you want sodium laurel sulfate, not ammonium laurel sulfate. Ammonia strips color. Dandruff shampoos are ammonia based. 

You know how sometimes your first application of a sulfate shampoo doesn't lather well (or even at all) so you rinse and repeat? Hair that cannot lather with a sulfate shampoo is telling you how full of oil, product and dirt it is. Food for thought, if that is happening regularly. Now imagine a sulfate free non-lathering shampoo trying to move that sludge along. 

We don't need nearly as much shampoo as we use. Mix shampoo with water in a small bottle, about 60/40, and shake it before using. Diluted shampoo works surprisingly well.

Use the coolest water temp you can manage when shampooing and conditioning color-treated hair. Each hair has a cuticle (like scales on a fish) that covers the hair's core. Color is deposited inside the core; hot water opens the cuticle and allows color molecules to escape.

Teasing or back combing color-treated hair is a bad idea. It goes against the grain of the cuticle and rips and destroys it with each stroke. 

Every strategy that minimizes exposing the hair's core protects the color. 

Edited August 17, 2020 by suomi

[Meowwww]

1 hour ago, suomi said:

Some people are unhappy with sulfate free shampoos because they don't create a lather.

Sulfates in shampoo do two things, they cause oil and water to mix and they ensure a nice sudsy lather that in some cultures is associated with thorough cleaning. 

A sulfate is a good thing if your scalp produces excess oil and/or you use styling products made with oil.

A sulfate free shampoo sits on top of scalp oil and oily product residue, it does not mix with them and does not remove them efficiently. 

A sulfate lather tells you that scalp oil and oily product residue have been mixed with water and will be rinsed away. 

The two types of sulfate shampoo bases are salt and ammonia. If your hair is color-treated (or permed) you want sodium laurel sulfate, not ammonium laurel sulfate. Ammonia strips color. Dandruff shampoos are ammonia based. 

You know how sometimes your first application of a sulfate shampoo doesn't lather well (or even at all) so you rinse and repeat? Hair that cannot lather with a sulfate shampoo is telling you how full of oil, product and dirt it is. Food for thought, if that is happening regularly. Now imagine a sulfate free non-lathering shampoo trying to move that sludge along. 

We don't need nearly as much shampoo as we use. Mix shampoo with water in a small bottle, about 60/40, and shake it before using. Diluted shampoo works surprisingly well.

Use the coolest water temp you can manage when shampooing and conditioning color-treated hair. Each hair has a cuticle (like scales on a fish) that covers the hair's core. Color is deposited inside the core; hot water opens the cuticle and allows color molecules to escape.

Teasing or back combing color-treated hair is a bad idea. It goes against the grain of the cuticle and rips and destroys it with each stroke. 

Every strategy that minimizes exposing the hair's core protects the color. 

I have wavy hair.  I shampoo once a week with Ouidad clarifying shampoo cut with water.    Rinse and condition in the shower every day though.  I rinse with cool water, I have always been a fan of cold showers.  

[Kbo]

I ordered all natural shampoo and conditioner bars, I’m just waiting for them to arrive. I’ve never tried them before, really hoping I like them. Facebook has figured out I love bath bombs and handmade soap and now I’m barraged with ads. I try to resist but sometimes I’m weak, lol.  

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, suomi said:

Some people are unhappy with sulfate free shampoos because they don't create a lather.

Sulfates in shampoo do two things, they cause oil and water to mix and they ensure a nice sudsy lather that in some cultures is associated with thorough cleaning. 

A sulfate is a good thing if your scalp produces excess oil and/or you use styling products made with oil.

A sulfate free shampoo sits on top of scalp oil and oily product residue, it does not mix with them and does not remove them efficiently. 

A sulfate lather tells you that scalp oil and oily product residue have been mixed with water and will be rinsed away. 

The two types of sulfate shampoo bases are salt and ammonia. If your hair is color-treated (or permed) you want sodium laurel sulfate, not ammonium laurel sulfate. Ammonia strips color. Dandruff shampoos are ammonia based. 

You know how sometimes your first application of a sulfate shampoo doesn't lather well (or even at all) so you rinse and repeat? Hair that cannot lather with a sulfate shampoo is telling you how full of oil, product and dirt it is. Food for thought, if that is happening regularly. Now imagine a sulfate free non-lathering shampoo trying to move that sludge along. 

We don't need nearly as much shampoo as we use. Mix shampoo with water in a small bottle, about 60/40, and shake it before using. Diluted shampoo works surprisingly well.

Use the coolest water temp you can manage when shampooing and conditioning color-treated hair. Each hair has a cuticle (like scales on a fish) that covers the hair's core. Color is deposited inside the core; hot water opens the cuticle and allows color molecules to escape.

Teasing or back combing color-treated hair is a bad idea. It goes against the grain of the cuticle and rips and destroys it with each stroke. 

Every strategy that minimizes exposing the hair's core protects the color. 

Ever since I cut back on sulfate shampoos my hair has been in much better condition. They are especially damaging to wavy/curly hair so I have to limit them.  I also don't wash it every day anymore, more like every other, other day.  When I say "cut back" I mean I still use them but I switch off between shampoos with and without sulfates.  I need to switch off regularly anyway - It also helps the condition of my hair.  Some sulfate free shampoos are better at lathering than others depending on the formula.  Also, I found out that there are shampoos with a reduced amount of sulfate compared with other brands.  I find that I need the sulfates more in the summer when my scalp is oilier, or if I go longer than usual without a shampoo.  I learned that lesson about diluting and using less shampoo from the hairstylist I had 20 years ago.  Great advice and that too has improved my hair's condition as well as saved me a lot of money.  I have done a lot of reading on this because I was determined to deal with what had become a frizzy, unruly, damaged mess.  The first thing I learned is never, never use anything that starts with "Ammonium".  I rarely even see it on labels anymore, or maybe I just don't look at those brands.

[laurakaye]

On 8/16/2020 at 12:08 PM, Kohola3 said:

Sometimes we need to do things to stave off utter insanity.  I read once that women were queried as to the one single thing that can make them feel good or bad and the vast majority said that it was their hair.  I totally agree.  Not getting a haircut just about did me in and since I am single I wasn't going to try it myself!

This.  During shutdown, the two things I missed the most were getting a haircut/color and going to the library.  Everything else came in a very distant second.  I still haven't been to Home Goods since February and it's amazing how much I don't miss it - I would wander in there nearly every weekend and always come out with a throw pillow/candle/misc. crap that I really didn't need...which has actually been a very good lesson as to what I NEED and what I WANT, and how shopping can be addictive.  Now I just eat too much bread.  Can't fix everything at once, right? 😉 

[Kohola3]

5 hours ago, laurakaye said:

During shutdown, the two things I missed the most were getting a haircut/color and going to the library.

Ditto!  I checked out a whole stack of library books in a panic they day before they were scheduled to shut down.  Just picked things at random and at least half were just awful.  We do have Hoopla through our library so could get 10 titles a month which I blew through quickly.  But love the feel of a book and I don't like to read on an electronic device so it while it was a workaround I still missed my books!  

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, laurakaye said:

This.  During shutdown, the two things I missed the most were getting a haircut/color and going to the library.  Everything else came in a very distant second.  I still haven't been to Home Goods since February and it's amazing how much I don't miss it - I would wander in there nearly every weekend and always come out with a throw pillow/candle/misc. crap that I really didn't need...which has actually been a very good lesson as to what I NEED and what I WANT, and how shopping can be addictive.  Now I just eat too much bread.  Can't fix everything at once, right? 😉 

For me the things I missed most were getting my nails done and going to the movies with friends.

 

I went to get my nails done as soon as I could- it’s a nice little outing every three weeks and I love my nail tech. 

[Kbo]

I tried my new shampoo bar and conditioner today. The shampoo lathered up beautifully, and it felt so good coming out of the shower I decided to just let it air dry without any product. I have curly hair so I always air dry anyway.  BIG MISTAKE. My hair is so pouffy and frizzy I look like an electrocuted alpaca 😳. I’m starting to wonder if that shampoo stripped my hair or something?  Praying that it goes back to normal when I use product tomorrow, I have an appointment with my hair stylist and I’ll die of embarrassment if she sees it like this!

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, laurakaye said:

This.  During shutdown, the two things I missed the most were getting a haircut/color and going to the library.  Everything else came in a very distant second.  I still haven't been to Home Goods since February and it's amazing how much I don't miss it - I would wander in there nearly every weekend and always come out with a throw pillow/candle/misc. crap that I really didn't need...which has actually been a very good lesson as to what I NEED and what I WANT, and how shopping can be addictive.  Now I just eat too much bread.  Can't fix everything at once, right? 😉 

Haha, I went through Home Goods withdrawal, but like you, I haven't been in one since February.  Somehow the pandemic made me break the habit and now like you I don't miss it at all, lol.

Interestingly I was just mentioning that the things I missed most of all during shut down were having lunch with friends and going out to dinner with my husband.  Then again when I finally had my hair cut after close to 6 months it was like a new lease on life.

Today I had one of those experiences that can best be described as a gift from God.  The weather was absolutely beautiful so hubbie and I went down to the shore to our favorite old-timey outdoor lobster shack.  We hadn't been there since last year.  His client last week had given him a big tip so we ordered the 3 lb. lobster feast.  We got a table right by the water and watched the boats go by as we ate.  Then we went to Dairy Queen for blizzards.  I was so happy I shed tears in the car going home.  After all I've been through in the past few months I needed this like you wouldn't believe

 

 

[suomi]

A direct link to the Social Security Death Index through 2011. Maybe some here will find the basics it offers useful. 

Quote

Google jinxed this website, and it won’t even come up when you enter the domain name into the Google search bar. You must enter the domain name into your browser’s location window at the top of the screen.

Social Security Death Master File, free

Sorted by birth date, and by number.

This is a privately owned genealogy website using a purchased copy of the Social Security Death Master File.

(¿Would anybody really think the Social Security Administration would build a website this amateurish?)

https://sortedbyname.com/index.html

Edited August 19, 2020 by suomi

[TurtlePower]

7 hours ago, Kbo said:

I tried my new shampoo bar and conditioner today. The shampoo lathered up beautifully, and it felt so good coming out of the shower I decided to just let it air dry without any product. I have curly hair so I always air dry anyway.  BIG MISTAKE. My hair is so pouffy and frizzy I look like an electrocuted alpaca 😳. I’m starting to wonder if that shampoo stripped my hair or something?  Praying that it goes back to normal when I use product tomorrow, I have an appointment with my hair stylist and I’ll die of embarrassment if she sees it like this!

It's so hard finding products for curly hair that work! I also have curly hair and have spent much of my life straightening it or using a large curl iron because it only looks good for a short period of time. If I dare even pick through it, it becomes frizzy and poofy.

I've spent hundreds of dollars on stuff that doesn't work--stuff that made it crunchy, heavy, oily, you name it. I use good products, too, like It's a 10 and Moroccanoil (which I love, Moroccanoil is my favorite and I get the pure argan oil).

I'm about to order some Olaplex to see if it helps. 

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

It's so hard finding products for curly hair that work! I also have curly hair and have spent much of my life straightening it or using a large curl iron because it only looks good for a short period of time. If I dare even pick through it, it becomes frizzy and poofy.

I've spent hundreds of dollars on stuff that doesn't work--stuff that made it crunchy, heavy, oily, you name it. I use good products, too, like It's a 10 and Moroccanoil (which I love, Moroccanoil is my favorite and I get the pure argan oil).

I'm about to order some Olaplex to see if it helps. 

*Sigh*, I hear you, over the years I've spent thousands on hair products for my frizzy, poofy, wiry, fly-away, wavy/curly mess, which has often been a source of embarrassment and frustration.  I can only recommend what works for me but since everyone is different it might not work for someone else.  Some things I think are universally true, like that curly hair is more sensitive than straight hair and so cutting back on shampooing and conditioning will actually HELP it, not hurt it.  Of course everyone wants a quick fix but it does take time to see the results.  In the beginning you will swear it's worse, but it does get better over time, you just have to stick with it.  I am convinced that heat and chemicals actually make the problem worse even if they get ten thousand five star reviews and are supposedly designed to help.  It's OK to use them but just use them less often.  Also, unfortunately dyeing the hair is also damaging, so cutting back on that also really helps.  My stylist is adamant about that.  It is also unfortunate that any two step coloring process that involves bleach will also strip and damage curly/wavy hair (especially after it's gone gray), which is another reason my stylist is actually happy that I use the most simple coloring out there in a dark golden brown color.   One of my good friends is determined to be a blonde but she ends up wearing her hair back because it's so frizzy/poofy.  I keep telling her to cut back on the bleach but she won't listen.  Oh well.  Between overall colorings I use lots of different root touch-ups that make it possible not to have to touch the rest of the hair with color for at least two months before another overall coloring.  My stylist insists that this is a good approach - despite the fact that she would make lots more  money on me if I went to her to color my hair.

Also, I've found that the most expensive products out there are not always the best for me.  In fact, most of the time it's the middle of the road products that work best.  All of this is counter-intuitive, but whatever works!   One of my favorite products has been discontinued, but I have a lot of it stashed away that I got on eBay so I'm good for now.  It's the Organix anti-breakage Keratin oil spray.  It's weightless and great for before blow drying or flat ironing (which I do somewhat sparingly and at 390 degrees).  Nothing else has worked as well for smoothing my hair and eliminating the kinky, poofy thing.  They still make the Argan/Moroccan oil spray which I find almost as good.  I also love Color Wow Dream Coat, another weightless spray that straightens and smooths.  I also use that before blow drying.   

As for shampoos, anything with silk protein and keratin oil in it is good for me for the smoothing and calming properties.  Sally Beauty carries a shampoo with both of those ingredients in it.  It is sulfate free so I usually switch off to it once in a while.  It's called "Age Beautiful Ultra-Bond Synergy No. 1".  They also make a conditioner with that.

Right now my absolute favorite shampoo/conditioner duo is actually by L'Oreal.   It's the Elvive Color Vibrancy Protecting Shampoo.  It is not sulfate free but that does not seem to matter.  I have read that sulfates aren't always bad, but it depends on the amount and what else they're formulated with.  

Another shampoo/conditioner I like right now is TRESemmé Keratin Smooth Color with Moroccan Oil system for smooth, shiny, color treated hair.  The ingredient list starts with something called "Sodium Pareth Sulfate" - which is a new on one me but whatever.  

Another thing that affects the condition of my hair is the water.  I am on well water and when I first moved here there was no softening yet.  With water 5 grains hard my scalp was going nuts and my hair was out of control and insane.  So we had to get a water softening system.  As soon as those salt pellets run out my scalp and hair notice, LOL.  So hard water can be horrible for wavy/curly hair too (or any hair, really).

Also, hair spray can be another factor - I use the more expensive Elnett sparingly because anything else will also make my hair frizzy/poofy/wild, etc.

Another strategy is to let my hair air dry in a cool/less humid environment for a half hour or so before blow drying it.  Somehow that makes it come out smoother and straighter.  But I often don't have time for that.

So anyway, I hope my recs. might help someone else.

[xwordfanatik]

I use Tresemme products for curly hair, and I like them.  I used to use EverPure by Loreal, but I think I had more hair fall out after, so I switched.  My last coloring was In March, and I can tell that my colored hair is drier than my new (mostly white) roots.  When my hair is wet, it now reaches the middle of my back.  It hasn't been this long since my 20's.  I may take to braiding it like the fundamentalist Mormons do!  I like wearing it up in the summertime.  I can't stand hair hanging in my face.  I'm toying with the idea of henna, because I've read it is less damaging.  I was surprised that it comes in colors, as I always thought it made hair Lucy Ricardo red.

[Meowwww]

I’m currently sad over the Married at First Sight forum comments over people with depression.  Saying those of us on meds are red flags.  “There but for God go I”. So disappointing.  We can’t help our brain chemistry and if we need meds, so be it.  It’s not shameful, but lots think it is.  
 

[Gramto6]

2 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I’m currently sad over the Married at First Sight forum comments over people with depression.  Saying those of us on meds are red flags.  “There but for God go I”. So disappointing.  We can’t help our brain chemistry and if we need meds, so be it.  It’s not shameful, but lots think it is.  
 

I don't and won't watch that show ever, but depression is  a serious medical issue that can be dealt with counseling  and medication. I have been there and done that and by the grace of many have survived.  Be strong and ignore the ignorant posters who know nothing of it. Hugs to you.

[MonicaM]

14 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I’m currently sad over the Married at First Sight forum comments over people with depression.  Saying those of us on meds are red flags.  “There but for God go I”. So disappointing.  We can’t help our brain chemistry and if we need meds, so be it.  It’s not shameful, but lots think it is.  
 

What's shameful is how many people won't seek help because of attitudes like that.  Unfortunately, even some doctors have a condescending attitude towards depression and anxiety.  My son and I have both run into less than compassionate medical personnel who seem to believe that people somehow choose to have crippling depression.  I suffered for years because of this, and only when one of my own sons had similar problems did I find the courage to persevere and get him the help he needed.  

As you said, it's a matter of BRAIN CHEMISTRY.  Not even an insane person would choose this!!!!!

[Roslyn]

In response to @sharkerbaby and @Gramto6 in the Janelle thread...

I make my fat mix at room temperature.  I put a paper towel in a strainer and when the bacon fat is really hot I ladle it into a measuring glass and let it cool, but it is just barely starting to solidify.  I have my butter at room temperature so it is soft/spreadable and olive oil of choice.  I basically just plop pats of butter into the cooled but not set up bacon fat and eye ball them at equal amounts then pour in the olive oil to guestimate 1/3 each part.  That is why I do it in a measuring glass because it is easy to judge.  Then I stir it all together and transfer to a canning jar for the fridge. 

I also save beef fat by defatting anything I'm cooking with ground beef.  I often buy the 80/20 instead of 85/15 and after all the fat has rendered in the pan I turn off the heat and set the pan on a tilt on the stove and separate the cooked meat in a V shape and let the fat pool to the lower side.  Then I ladle the fat out and strain it and put it into a baggie in the freezer.  I use this when I need beef tallow for a soap recipe.  I've paid for it with the beef purchase, but this way I get small amounts without having to go through the PIA process of getting good tallow fat from the butcher (which isn't free/cheap anymore) and a day or two of rendering.  I don't use pure tallow a lot, but sometimes want it for a specialty soap.

As for the idea of freezing fat in an ice cube tray...well. As long as you will never want to put water in that ice cube tray again.  Keep in mind that fat/oil and plastic are related on a molecular level...so the fat will never really leave the plastic and can make it taste "off" from then on, especially after the fat/oil oxidizes....(goes rancid)....yuck.

[Joan of Argh]

On 5/9/2020 at 2:49 PM, LilWharveyGal said:

@Sandy W if you do any online selling please PM me a link. 

Me too Sandy! ☺

[LilWharveyGal]

Over in the Janelle thread, it's been posted that she is selling her services as an accountability coach for 14 (or 21, she doesn't know) days. Now I happen to have some goals I want to achieve, but I'm certainly not paying a slug-like z-list reality star to do it. Maybe some of you are in the same boat.

Would anybody here be interested in a thread for our own accountability group? You all feel like friends, and I'd love to be able to support each other more to create some positivity during these rough times. Plus, my competitive side says I bet we could accomplish way more in 14 (or 21) days than Janelle's clientele. 😄

[TurtlePower]

16 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Over in the Janelle thread, it's been posted that she is selling her services as an accountability coach for 14 (or 21, she doesn't know) days. Now I happen to have some goals I want to achieve, but I'm certainly not paying a slug-like z-list reality star to do it. Maybe some of you are in the same boat.

Would anybody here be interested in a thread for our own accountability group? You all feel like friends, and I'd love to be able to support each other more to create some positivity during these rough times. Plus, my competitive side says I bet we could accomplish way more in 14 (or 21) days than Janelle's clientele. 😄

Sure! It's pretty much a waste of time picking on Janelle's lack of progress--the only thing that would shake Janelle out of her delusion is if everyone just started ignoring her. Gosh she's an idiot. 

At least we could support each other (free of charge). 

[laurakaye]

I'm in!  I was looking at September to be a month of really trying to make some changes, to prepare for what will likely be a divisive and trying rest of the year.

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I'm in!  I was looking at September to be a month of really trying to make some changes, to prepare for what will likely be a divisive and trying rest of the year.

I'm in <~~~ said OH so reluctantly.   I need to lose weight and eat better, but I just don't want to exercise and eat better.  ::::sighs::::

[CouchTater]

Hand raised:  I need accountability!   😀

[crazycatlady58]

I would love to join. I do need to lose weight however I honestly don't think I have the energy to overcome the challenges.  First I live outside Houston.  I woke up to a outside temperature of 82 with a heat index of 93. My favorite type of exercise is walking and I am not able to walk in these temperatures. I also have a digestive issue..IBS D. This limits the food I eat. Some of those things include wheat, broccoli, cauliflower, beets,garlic  and more. So the foods you normally eat to lose weight keep me in the bathroom. I know ot can be done and I will feel better if I do I just don't have the physical and emotional energy to do the things I need to do and you know I bet that's how Janelle feels.

[laurakaye]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

I'm in <~~~ said OH so reluctantly.   I need to lose weight and eat better, but I just don't want to exercise and eat better.  ::::sighs::::

I totally understand.  I feel like my choices for the remainder of 2020 are to either eat better and exercise, or to hide in a blanket fort with a stack of library books, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and some cheap wine until the storm of 2020 is past us.  I would like to emerge from winter's hibernation in the spring of '21 hopefully feeling much better about myself physically and mentally than I did in '20.

And some small hopeful part of me has to believe that the trials of '20 are meant to shift our mindsets into taking care of what's important, so with two grown kids it's probably a good time to remember how to take care of myself. 

Edited September 1, 2020 by laurakaye

[laurakaye]

@crazycatlady58 - I have a friend who lives outside of Austin and she is saying the same thing - it's too oppressive to walk, even in the early morning.  She lives alone and has been working from home since March and I know she's struggling.  It's so hard - it's not like you can just go comfortably walk the mall during a pandemic.  My 84-year old dad has been known to put on his mask and walk the perimeter of Lowe's as soon as they open in the morning just to get out of the house (we live in Michigan and while it's not nearly as hot as Texas, 90+ degree weather and high humidity is not something we're used to here and we pretty much hate it).

Edited September 1, 2020 by laurakaye

[suomi]

I starting doing some really small things last week because I finally decided some movement is better than no movement other than household chores. 

The emphysema I was diagnosed with five years ago has progressed to the point where I can move only for a few minutes at a time. I'm doing my first pulmonary function test next week and hopefully will get some  useful movement advice then.

I got into the shortness of breath trap where you move less because you are SOB and you get SOB easily because you move less. 

I've been standing behind my office chair for support and walking in place during every commercial when I watch TV.

I do pushups against the edge of my dresser, it's very heavy and doesn't rock or shift with my movement. 

I lie on the floor and let my bent legs fall from side to side. Not strong enough for leg lifts yet, perhaps never will be, but I'm moving.

I recline on a large exercise ball and raise and press small hand weights, 2lbs and 3 lbs because I can't manage the 5-pounders anymore. Or I roll the length of my body over the ball to stretch my back. 

Moving during commercials acts as a prompt and as a timer. My only treat is 2 cookies a day and if I miss a commercial workout I can't have my cookies. I put an X on the calendar if I moved during every commercial that day. Sometimes I listen to talk radio KFI out of El Lay and I use their commercial breaks as exercise prompts.

Yesterday was Day Five, so far so good. 

Obviously this is doing nothing for my heart but I am moving more than I have been for almost a year and have to be satisfied with that for now.

Edited September 1, 2020 by suomi
typo

[Meowwww]

I’m in!   I have a physical-labor intensive job, but it’s not enough.  
Anyone else here have a Fitbit?  Perhaps that’s a way of accountability?

[Kbo]

9 hours ago, Kyanight said:

I'm in <~~~ said OH so reluctantly.   I need to lose weight and eat better, but I just don't want to exercise and eat better.  ::::sighs::::

I’m so with you.  I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, and have never felt less motivated to do something about it.  I’ve been thinking about weight loss surgery when things ease up a bit.  I know it’s not a magical solution, but I’m so tired of losing weight and gaining it back. It’s been a lifelong struggle 🙁

[Rabbit Hutch]

I'd like to join in the fun, but with one caveat.  This is one of our busiest times of the year in trucking so I won't be able to report on a daily basis, however, I think I can handle it, otherwise.  Just let me know.  🙂

Edited September 2, 2020 by Rabbit Hutch

[Gramto6]

We seem to have 2 threads going on the accountably theme, this one and 

Maybe we can consolidate on the Thrive W/Out Janelle thread??

[Kyanight]

4 minutes ago, Rabbit Hutch said:

I'd like to join in the fun, but with one caveat.  This is one of our busiest times of the year in trucking so I won't be able to report on a daily basis, however, I think I can handle it, otherwise.  Just let me know.  🙂

I'm sure that will be fine!  Some people are committing to a couple of days out of the week - everyone is doing different things to better themselves... and it doesn't even have to be weight loss - just things you need to do to better your life but keep putting off.  (Could be something like cleaning the garage!) So checking in when you can will be great.

[Rabbit Hutch]

15 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I'm sure that will be fine!  Some people are committing to a couple of days out of the week - everyone is doing different things to better themselves... and it doesn't even have to be weight loss - just things you need to do to better your life but keep putting off.  (Could be something like cleaning the garage!) So checking in when you can will be great.

Okey doke, I'm in!  😁

[crazycatlady58]

@jjane I wanted to  check on you and see how you are doing.  I think last time you posted you said you were getting ready for a hurricane.  Are you ok?