Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[suomi]

I was a cleaning service for a few years and had some minimalist clients. Surprisingly, those homes are difficult because it requires a lot more effort to make it look like you did your job. When rooms/walls are too busy there's no place for the eye to rest; in some minimalist homes there's no place for the eye to land. There's a fine line in both cases. 

The photos in this article caught my eye because If I could afford to travel I would go to Italy. In this 18th century 5,500 square foot 4-story villa I like the plaster and fabric finishes on the walls, the beams, the frescoes, the stone throughout, and especially the kitchen and bathrooms. And the vines and ivies in the courtyard! 

But the furnishings are so minimal that it makes me nervous. This place would be amazing if it had some damn furniture. In the living room I do not dig the wall hanging placed in front of the painting. Rooms full of absolutely nothing but then two layered pieces in one room? Why? Check out the photo gallery, oooh that kitchen. 

"... a one-piazza town." Eh-hew. 
 

Quote

The Extravagance of Less

In a tiny seaside Tuscan village, a minimalist architect and designer proves that living with little but history can be the richest existence of all.

It was a few years ago that the couple decided to find a weekend retreat in Pietrasanta, which, despite being in the chic coastal region of Versilia, is a one-piazza town. 

Many of the structure’s most captivating features were salvageable, including the wrought-iron balconies near the ceiling of the entryway from which musicians once played violins during dinner parties, a carved white marble spiral staircase and a domed 25-foot ceiling, with intricate plaster moldings, in what now serves as the master bedroom. 

This being Tuscany, many of De Cotiis’s interventions involve local marble, mostly swirly gray-green cipollino apuano or ghostly beige breccia, which he sourced from five quarries to produce a jigsaw effect, with the different shades and vein patterns colliding against one another.

De Cotiis’s commitment to cipollino, which he considers among the world’s most poetic and otherworldly stones, as well as his disregard for conventional spaces, is best displayed in the kitchen. Here, almost everything, from the dishwasher to the refrigerator to the range to the dining table, is skinned in the marble. This transforms what would be a humdrum wall of appliances into a monolithic canvas of rippling waves — but unless you know exactly where to, say, press on the wall to open the dishwasher, you’d probably never find it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/19/t-magazine/vincenzo-de-cotiis-home-tuscany.html?action=click&module=Features&pgtype=Homepage

Edited April 5, 2020 by suomi
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[Yeah No]

I am sorry to report that my father passed away on Saturday April 4th at 5:30 p.m. Eastern Time from Coronavirus.  He had been showing positive signs last week and then suddenly took a turn for the worse.  They had done all they could for him.  I was inconsolable and on the phone with friends for hours.  I was told by the hospital that someone would be calling me to discuss funeral home arrangements, etc. but they warned me that it may not be until Sunday because they are so swamped.  I haven't heard from anyone yet.  I am planning to have him cremated and held at the same funeral home where we took my mother 19 years ago.  It doesn't look like I'll be able to collect him for quite a while, though.  I've heard that they can mail cremated remains but something about that feels wrong.  Hopefully when all this craziness dies down (whenever that will be) I will be able to hold a memorial service for him down in NY and have a proper military burial for both him and my mother to rest together.  My mother is with me in my house in her urn.  My mother was also a veteran, and served in the Women's Army Corps during WWII.  They met in the army in the early 1950s.

In time I will be hopefully be able to celebrate the wonderful life my father had with the many people whose lives he touched and loved him.  He was a ray of sunshine, a very special person that was beloved to everyone that knew him, from the doorman in his building to the owners and waiters at the diner a block from his house.  I was an only child and have no close living family other than by marriage.  I consider my oldest and best friend like a sister.  Both she and my husband knew my father for over 40 years and considered him their "other" father.  My father lived longer than any of my friends' parents, and was the last of his generation left, so he became like everyone's father after a while.  Every time I went down to NY my friends and sister-in-law and her family would come to have dinner with us out in a restaurant.

My father experienced a lot of loss in his life.  His mother died at only 52 tragically of a strangulated hernia.  I never met her.  My father was also an only child of divorced parents.  He threw himself into his army career, which spanned decades.  He first served at the end of WWII, then did another hitch in the Korean War, then when I was a kid he was a full time Army Reserve Captain, where he taught Signal Corps.  He was also a Sunday school teacher at our little Episcopal church when I was a kid.  In spite of his early poverty living through the depression and the early loss of his mother, he went on to lead what many people would consider a "charmed life".  He never saw wartime battle.  Instead his first overseas mission was in Paris right after the end of WWII.  He came to Paris as an American hero.  After his lengthy Army career he ended up working for the American Foundation for the Blind as a talking book technician, a job he held until he retired in 1993.  He was lucky enough to meet a lot of famous people that came in to read books for the blind.

If my father had been born in a later generation, he definitely would have been part of the Geek Squad.  He used to wear the pocket protector and everything.  But he was really no nerd.  There were many sides to his personality.  He and my mother were an inspiration together.  They were the most interesting people I I have ever met.  I know I'm biased, but back in the 1970s when it was very uncool to hang with people's parents, my friends actually WANTED to hang out at my parent's house.  It was like a library.  We used to call it the Reading Room.  There was always great food because my mother was a gourmet cook and equally fantastic conversation.  My parents didn't talk down to my friends nor act like authoritarians around them.  My father never went to college but he was like a walking World War II historian.  He taught me so much about the War that I didn't even know I knew, but it sunk in as if by osmosis.  He missed his calling - he would have made an excellent high school history teacher.

Anyway, I don't want to go on too long, but I want to again thank each and every one of you for your incredibly kind words and support during this horrible time when all of you are suffering in your own lives.  I can't tell you what that means to me as I sit here not able to go anywhere or see anyone in the flesh other than my husband who lives with me.  I know my father, whose name was Russell, would be grateful for what you have done as well.  I will leave you for now with one of my favorite photos of him, taken at a Borders Café in 2006 when he was about 79.  May God bless you and bring you through this time with as little stress and hardship as possible.

[suomi]

Ohhh, geez. I am so sad after hearing your news and so sorry for your loss. We were hoping for a good outcome. 

Thank you for posting the photograph - what a lovely face! You were blessed to have him for a dad.

Perhaps the safest place for his cremains is at the mortuary. Using USPS (or UPS or FedEx) isn't wrong, per se, but there are so many uncertainties in the world right now. Leaving him there is an unpleasant choice but you would would never get over it if they somehow lost your precious cargo.

Please let us know about any further developments that you need to or would like to share. 

[ginger90]

I’m so sorry @Yeah No .

[crazycatlady58]

@Yeah No. I am sorry for your loss. Both of your parents sound like they were very special people. May their memory be eternal.

[MargeGunderson]

@Yeah No, I am so sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like a wonderful person, and a terrific father. Your tribute to him here was just beautiful, and brought tears to my eyes. I hope that your happy memories of him can bring you some comfort during this difficult time, and that you will have the opportunity to celebrate his life properly when this situation improves. I will raise a toast to Russell today, and light a candle in his memory.

[Kohola3]

Gosh, it seems like we knew your dad so well through your postings and what a life he led.  Strangers but family through this site - isn't it interesting that we seem to love and care for each other more than the "real" Browns?  Your message brought tears to my eyes.  Blessings to you on your loss.

[Twopper]

@Yeah No,  I am so sorry to hear that.  I was hoping he would be okay.   That was a beautiful tribute to both your parents, and I  am glad you included that wonderful picture.  I am in tears.  May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

[Absolom]

May his memory be eternal.

[Kyanight]

(Literally crying.)  I am so sorry. 

[Meowwww]

@Yeah No I am so sorry.  
We love you.  What a wonderful tribute to an amazing man.  
My mom died in July, my dad in 2007.  There’s a wonderful group on Facebook, called Parent Loss Grief Support Group.  Please join, those people there are all going through this too and have helped me in the awful grieving process.  
((((hugs)))).  Look for him in your dreams, he will visit.  
ETA my mom’s cremains were mailed to me.  They are tracked and handled with respect all along.  The postal worker who delivered her delivered only her, person to person, separate from regular mail service.  They have a very clear process for this.  

Edited April 5, 2020 by Meowwww

[Olliesmom]

@Yeah No I am so sorry for your loss.  Both your parents sound like they were truly wonderful people.  You were blessed to have them. Now they are together again. May they both Rest In Peace.

[CouchTater]

@Yeah No, I'm very sorry for your loss.  Please accept my condolences.    I am sorry that you lost your dad, but I'm also happy for you that you had such a wonderful dad (and mom).  He sounds like an incredible person.  The whole time I was reading about him, I felt a smile on my face. 

I hope you can take comfort in all the wonderful memories you have of your dad.  God bless you and keep you.  🙂

[Gramto6]

@Yeah No, I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. That was a beautiful tribute you wrote it brought tears t my eyes.  You were blessed to have the parents you had, now they are together again and can rest in peace together. Bless you, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[xwordfanatik]

I am very sorry for the loss of your father, @Yeah No.  What a lovely tribute you wrote to honor him.  

[Sofa Sloth]

Sincere condolences @Yeah No. Thank you for sharing your father’s story with us, he was obviously a special man and may he rest in peace.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

Yeah no.  So sorry to hear about your dad.  As others have said he sounded like a great guy.  Yes you will grieve for him, but just know that he wouldn't want you to be sad for long, but remember him fondly.  All of my thoughts are with you and your family.  

[Mittengirl]

On 4/2/2020 at 8:54 AM, Kohola3 said:

Because people don't understand how to wear masks they are sometimes causing more harm than good, too.  It's something foreign on their face so they keep adjusting it.  Morons

It is going to take awhile for people to get used to wearing masks and gloves. To expect them to do it perfectly from the start is unfair.  It doesn’t make them morons for making mistakes, it makes them human.  Terrified humans.  Most of us are just doing the best we can.

[Kohola3]

2 minutes ago, Mittengirl said:

To expect them to do it perfectly from the start is unfair.  It doesn’t make them morons for making mistakes, it makes them human.  

Knowledge is power and common sense tells you to keep your hands off of your face.  It's like people using gloves to pump gas to protect themselves from virus on the pump handles and then driving away with them on.  Sorry, I don't see that as making mistakes. I see that as a refusal to learn how to do things correctly, a lack of critical thinking.  Take a minute and google it.  It's not rocket science.  Fear will kill you.

[Mittengirl]

Let’s be honest, if we all did what common sense tells us is the best thing to do, the world would be damn near perfect.  😊 

I think most people are doing the absolute best that they can and will get better at breaking lifelong habits.  

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Mittengirl said:

I think most people are doing the absolute best that they can and will get better at breaking lifelong habits.  

Except me.  I am doomed.  I touch my face all of the time without thinking.

[suomi]

I think we all have those moments when we can't prepare a dish because we're missing an ingredient or three.

I found this article helpful because ideas such as being able to substitute sour cream for milk in a recipe would never occur to me.

I'm a technician in the kitchen but I'll never be an artist. I think it's because I'm not a "brave" cook and I'm leery of coloring outside the lines.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/voraciously/wp/2020/04/06/how-to-make-substitutions-for-spices-herbs-dairy-and-meat-in-your-everyday-cooking/?itid=hp_hp-top-table-low_herbs-11am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory-ans

[ginger90]

In Pennsylvania, the schools are now officially closed for the remainder of this school year.

 

[Kohola3]

Our governor just announced that Michigan will remain closed until the end of April.  And that will depend on the situation.  My nephew, a respiratory therapist just tested positive which is no surprise.  Thankfully he seems to be weathering it well and has a great sense of humor about it.

[Kyanight]

4 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Our governor just announced that Michigan will remain closed until the end of April.  And that will depend on the situation.  My nephew, a respiratory therapist just tested positive which is no surprise.  Thankfully he seems to be weathering it well and has a great sense of humor about it.

I'm VERY sorry to hear that.  I was interested to read how Chris Cuomo dealt with it, especially the advice he was given by doctors.  Taking deep breaths, stretching, holding one's breath even though it's very difficult, etc.   

One of my sons was directed by his doctor to go to the emergency room to be tested this afternoon, but they are very low on swabs for testing, so they tested him for flu and pneumonia, and took chest x-rays.  They said they should be able to tell by the x-rays whether it's Corona or not - depending on whether it's far enough along to see the "ice" I suppose.  I don't know, I am relating this second-hand since I talked to his brother who talked to him.  His co-worker is sick in the ICU with this.  Update:  His lungs were clear, the flu test was negative.  They aren't testing him for Covid because he didn't have a fever.  I guess now we wait and see what happens.

And my son-in-law who works for the FAA has two co-workers in the hospital and they sent a crew in full hazmat suits in to clean the office.  

I worry about all of my kids.

And our governor wants to open up by the 26th of April.

 

Edited April 10, 2020 by Kyanight

[Kbo]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

In Pennsylvania, the schools are now officially closed for the remainder of this school year.

 

Same here in Washington state. It’s hitting me that the kids are going to be in the house full-time for the next five months.  Deep breaths, one day at a time...

[Kohola3]

9 hours ago, Kbo said:

It’s hitting me that the kids are going to be in the house full-time for the next five months.

"And then the murders began....."

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

@Yeah No my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. 

[Kyanight]

 Kohola - how is your nephew doing?

[Kohola3]

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

 Kohola - how is your nephew doing?

He's doing great! We are so please that he seems to be quickly on the mend. Feeling better and his sense of taste has returned. Thanks for asking!

[Joan of Argh]

@Yeah No I'm sorry for your loss, what a terrible thing.❤

Your dad looks like a man who lived life well, great smile! 

[Yeah No]

Hi everyone, I apologize for my absence but as you might expect my dad's death has been very rough on me, especially in the middle of the current worldwide situation, and the horror right now that is NYC.  I am astounded and incredibly grateful for the outpouring of caring and support from so many of you here and from friends on my Facebook page, where I posted as well.  I'm not really a social media person and I never have had that much love sent my way by so many people.  Bless all of you and may you stay safe during this crazy and dangerous time.

Among the many emotionally gut wrenching things I've had to deal with this week was having the funeral home text me a photo of my father's face in death after they finally retrieved his body from the hospital today.  They thought this was a good idea since there have been so many deaths in the past several days that they wanted to make sure there was no mistake.  I was actually worried about that so in some ways that was a good thing, but how horrible to have to see that.  At least they were able to assure me that he wasn't put in one of those refrigerated trucks that Andy Cuomo was talking about.

Otherwise I have been alternately engaging in escapism via TV or talking with friends on the phone when not crying despondently.  I have also dealt with one of his retirement plans that the funeral home would not inform of his death.  I was doing better the first few days - I think I was in shock.  Every day since the first two days I have sunk deeper into depression.  It's not just my father's death, it's the circumstances of his death, the worldwide situation PLUS the fact that my husband and I have zero income and are waiting for that small business loan to come through, PLUS the fact that now I own a co-op apartment that needs major renovations in the Bronx that I can't sell because of a PANDEMIC and now I will owe $1,000 a month in maintenance on it that my father's small savings will only cover for a few months.  I can see this situation completely ruining me financially and eat up my savings at a time in my life when there is NO time to come back from that financially because of my age.  People tell me the apartment is worth something, but I know that in its present state it is not worth that much, plus co-ops have all sorts of rules that make selling them more difficult, like not letting you sell to 3rd parties but only people that intend to live in the apartment.  Not to mention the insane fees and taxes they slap on you when you sell.  There is no way I can handle dealing with that place from 110 miles away in the middle of a pandemic.

In other words, I need a miracle or a rich person that cares to help us.  With all the talk about "opening up the economy" my husband has actually been acting like he's "eager" to go back to work.  Is he on DRUGS?  Both of us are in the high risk category and now that I know that the healthiest person in my family actually DIED of this virus, what would MY chances be considering all I hear on TV about there possibly being a genetic component to how you react to it?  Even if the governor of CT were to loosen things up in my area that wouldn't apply to what my husband does.  When he works he has people in his car from all over the country and the world all the time.  When is it ever going to be safe for him to drive his limo. again?  I don't know.  And given that that's our only source of income right now until my husband can retire at 66 in 2 years, I don't know what we're going to do.  Even if he were to try to find other employment right now it wouldn't pay enough, and what would his chances be at his age anyway?  Not good.

So anyway, I'm sure you all can understand what a crappy, horrible situation this is.  Please pray for me and my husband.  Please pray that his ultra rich client, who is recovering from Coronavirus does something to help us.  My husband texted him the other day and told him about my dad's death plus asked him how he's doing.  He admitted that it has been a rough road for him toward recovery.  He is over 50 and has some of his own medical issues.  He is a very smart man and I'm sure he gets the picture about our situation because he told my husband that he was very sad to hear about my dad and wants to talk to him.  He mentioned Friday but we never heard from him.  My husband will probably have to text him again.  Say a prayer, he is our only hope right now.

And stay safe, everyone!

[Gramto6]

My heart breaks for your circumstance. All  prayers and best thoughts for the best outcome will always be for you and your family.

[crazycatlady58]

@Yeah No. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you things will work out. I cannot do those things but I can pray for you.((((hugs)))).

[Kyanight]

What a horrible and difficult situation.   Our world is a strange and scary place right now.  I will DEFINITELY keep you in my prayers - in fact you have been in them since you first wrote that post about your father falling ill.   I wish prayer DID work like Robyn Brown seems to think it does, because you would have had a buyer right now despite the pandemic.  But it will work out - you have a lot of us here and on FB pulling for you and your husband!!  Remember that when we click on the heart, we are sending love!!

[suomi]

Typical Utah FUBAR.

Hordes of people swarmed missionaries at the Salt Lake City airport when they returned from Foreign Countries because of the pandemic and that was tsk tsk'd but OMG motorists must fill out a travel form when entering Utah because they could be Others or Outsiders or Furriners.

... but motorists as much as 70 miles inside the border or people in their homes nowhere near the border kept getting the warning texts. One woman got 80 of them! One of the hot not spots noted in the article is in my town (Logan) 20 miles south of the Idaho border. 

So much for the usefulness of geo-fencing, Utah-style.

90% of vehicles entering Utah from Idaho are church members returning from buying lottery tickets. Idaho has very few cases of virus and wants lottery tickets declared non-essential so they can suspend selling them and Utahns will stay on their side of the border.

It says a lot when a state is willing to forego beaucoup lottery income to force the residents of a neighboring theocracy to stay home where they belong.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/utah-suspends-border-text-alerts-after-problematic-weekend/ar-BB12zZhP?ocid=hplocalnews

[Meowwww]

@Yeah No I’ve been checking this thread many times a day, hoping you would post.  
We love you.  
I too have a picture of my mom just after she died, I took it.  It’s horrible to look at, I can’t imagine not being able to say goodbye.  We love you.  

[answerphone]

I just discovered, during this quarantine and stay at home time, Sling TV is free in the evening, and I'm currently watching Kody and Robyn on their honeymoon. 

LMAO

[Kyanight]

39 minutes ago, answerphone said:

I just discovered, during this quarantine and stay at home time, Sling TV is free in the evening, and I'm currently watching Kody and Robyn on their honeymoon. 

LMAO

Oh ugh!  I'm sorry!  😞

[Kohola3]

@Yeah No, how are you holding up.  It must be like living a nightmare right now.

[Kyanight]

Ok .... so many of you folks have known me for years and you all know I am a foodie!!  Aren't these face masks cute?

 

I have a couple of other ones that aren't sweets, too.

 

 

[suomi]

What I wouldn't give for 3 or 4 Hostess cupcakes right now! OK, 6.

[Kyanight]

Random thoughts.

I hope Yeah No is ok, and comes back to check in soon.  These are worrying times and there's only a handful of us here.  You are in my prayers every night Yeah..... and I always ask that the apartment will get taken care of so that it's one less worry for you.

Today I realized that the little bit I walk around the house is not really quality exercise.  At least when I could go out and about I would park my car far out in the lot and do a LOT of walking around stores and whatnot.  I am getting winded walking up the stairs!

People are scared.  I got a flat tire on Sunday night behind Pizza Hut and in front of a plasma donation place.  Well... I got the flat several blocks BEFORE this place, but I ended up in this strip mall parking lot.  Car after car after car drove by and no one offered to help.  I know how to change a tire but I don't really have the strength to loosen tight lug nuts and lift and carry the tire.  I called two of my sons because my Asperger son is never much help in these situations.  Well he surprised me and changed the tire for me before my other son showed up.  I told them that in our town it's unusual for someone not to ask if a person needs help - and my son reminded me that people are scared right now and don't want to get close to other people.  Duh.  I hadn't even considered that.  Four new tires, new front brakes and an oil change - $906.00.  I called on Monday and asked if I could make an appointment.  The woman said I could come in that day , or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or anytime I wanted.  WOW - in the past you had to book a week or two in advance. Or more!  Yes, times are different right now.

I'm bored, and I am a homebody.  They say we might have to social distance until 2022 and our new normal won't be our old normal.  I find myself collecting masks from Ebay.  I then give them away to those I know who might need one - and a lot of people DO want them.  (After I wash them, of course. Can't trust anything these days that comes into the home!)  Right now I buy my masks from just one seller - she is a nurse and makes these cloth masks on her day off.  Unfortunately she is working today - so no Ebay listings to looky loo through.

We had a handslapper on the board.  I wanted to post a picture of "Church Lady" from Saturday Night Live but I think it's because I'm bored and cranky.  And I don't want to upset our board monitor who is usually pretty cool.  Although I've had some posts pulled that didn't deserve to be.  Did I mention I'm cranky??

The board is pretty dead.  I hope ALL of you are healthy and well and busy and happy.  I love you ladies.

Edited April 16, 2020 by Kyanight
I'm bored. Did I mention I'm bored? Might as well drone on some more.....

[Sandy W]

Warm hugs to you Kya.  You have lifted my spirits so many times with your wit and wisdom and it's understandable you would have a periodic down day.  We all do.  Keep on keeping on, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. xo

[lookeyloo]

@Kyanight these are really different times. Like the world has turned upside down. Thanks for posting. 

[xwordfanatik]

Homebody (approaching hermit status) here, and I get you, @Kyanight.  I love you too <3.

Never worry about cranky here.  

 

[Kohola3]

It's always comforting to think that when one of us has a down day, there is someone out there who is on an upswing.  The news is always so dire that the good things seem to slip by unnoticed.

Will we ever get back to "normal".  Well, we will be defining a new normal but there may very well be good lessons coming from this that will help in the future.  For instance, making sure that everyone has some sort of internet access will become more crucial in case we need to do home/distance learning again in the future.  The governments have been resistant to helping out poor and rural areas but now they will be forced to take notice.  This might be one positive from this mess.

And the daffodils are coming up and the birds are singing so I am going to focus on that.  We are not alone, none of us, even if it's just posting on a forum!

[Kbo]

I’m with everyone, the tedium is wearing me down. I’m taking a day off work tomorrow for my mental health.  Even though we can’t really do anything, at least I won’t have work stressing me out.
 

I’m having to fight the urge to indulge in some retail therapy.  So tempting when everyone is having sales.  Cost Plus World Market has these Adirondack chairs in cheerful colors on sale and I want them. But I don’t need them. But they’re red and 40% off 🤷‍♀️

Edited April 16, 2020 by Kbo

[LilWharveyGal]

1 hour ago, Kbo said:

Cost Plus World Market has these Adirondack chairs in cheerful colors on sale and I want them. But I don’t need them. But they’re red and 40% off 

I have to go off on a tangent and ask something I've always wondered. I've always loved the look of Adirondack chairs, especially in fun colors, but in actuality I find them really uncomfortable to sit in and avoid doing so. They're so popular that I've always assumed it's my own body or posture that's weird. Is it just me?

[Kohola3]

24 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I have to go off on a tangent and ask something I've always wondered. I've always loved the look of Adirondack chairs, especially in fun colors, but in actuality I find them really uncomfortable to sit in and avoid doing so. They're so popular that I've always assumed it's my own body or posture that's weird. Is it just me?

I feel exactly the same way! I find them terribly uncomfortable, they lean way too far back for me.