S10.E18: Satan Loves Confusion

[Tara Ariano]

Vicki's daughter visits and delivers shocking information to Tamra over lunch. Also: Shannon confides in Heather and Tamra, thanks to her reconnected relationship with them; and the women prepare for Tamra's baptism in unconventional ways.

[Scrambled Fog]

Lol!

I just love that Shannon rode her horse to the drugstore to buy makeup when she was a teenager.

I loved the way she told the story.

[Shelby]

Those poor animals there for the entertainment of adults and children were very upsetting.

They had nowhere to hide, or private shelter if they didn't feel like being exposed to loud people and bratty children. How long is the"work shift" in the day of these animals? If anyone can buy food and feed them whatever they want, how is it possible to monitor their diet and nutrition?

I'm disgusted the place exists, that seemingly decent people patronize it and keep it in business, and that it was featured as "fun" on the show.

It's 2015. People know better, and animals are not for entertainment.

[Bronzedog]

Dear Lord! Vicki's going to have a circle jerk at Tammy's pasteurization! And, Shannon has a piece of plastic stuck up her ass! It doesn't get any better than this!

Edited October 6, 2015 by Bronzedog

[Scrambled Fog]

@ Bronzedog

L O L !

[Shelby]

Heather's honored that Shannon shared the shambles her marriage is? Geez, join all the viewers that share the displeasure of being tortured with this honor every week.

[Bronzedog]

David took one for the team! God, I'm loving this show tonight!

Edited October 6, 2015 by Bronzedog

[sandyskyblue]

Dear Lord! Vicki's going to have a circle jerk at Tammy's pasteurization! And, Shannon has a piece of plastic stuck up her ass! It doesn't get any better than this!

And don't forget that Ms.Terry might get some 'abs' too!!!

[mardo4]

Breanna said that Brooks originally said he survived pacreatic cancer and when she pressed him with medical questions he admitted it was not cancer but pacreatitis. My DH survived pancreatitis and there is a 95% resitivism rate of getting it again if you drink. So, anyone who has had it is medically advised to never drink again. Brooks would not be able to drink if that was true. The only people who drink after pancreatitis are typically people who are alcoholics and can't stop and normally die of organ failure due to recurrence of pancreatitis. After 5 years of sobriety my DH was advised he could have a glass at a family wedding or for very special occassions... but my DH said once you survive something like that it just isnt worth it. So just saying Brooks is a liar. No way he could drink like he has cancer or not.

[FlyingEgret]

I officially love Shannon now.  I mean, who hasn't spent an hour searching for a 3" piece of plastic in your butt only to learn it fell out in the toilet...

Edited October 6, 2015 by FlyingEgret

[TexasGal]

At-home colonic!!!!!!! I don't know how to do an enema!!!!! (But she conveniently has an enema bag in her bathroom, because, who doesn't?)

Shannon...I just...wha?

Edited October 6, 2015 by TexasGal

[Scrambled Fog]

Oh gaawwwd!

The baptism isn't over yet.

Bravo is merciless this season.

Edited October 6, 2015 by Scrambled Fog

[Straycat80]

Good lawd! TMI Shannon! Why would you decide to give yourself a colonic enema right before you're suppose to go to Tammy Sue's pasturization? And then she said something about the tip being stuck up her ass in front of her daughters! Shannon doesn't want her daughter wearing make up but it's OK they know about what's up her butt? I don't understand. Smh.

And Terry talking about 'doing' Heather in front of their two kids. Do these people not think before they speak or are they that much into themselves?

I'm so tired of the Brooke's has cancer...or not. I've been zoning out during those segments. Not my fault, I think Satan makes me do that.

[rehoboth]

I can't.    Shannon Beador.  I. just. can't,

[Scrambled Fog]

Oh come on.

Wasn't it nice of David to help Shannon out with her situation?

The therapy must've done something.

[mbaywife123]

Geez these people.

Please excuse me from further comments while I go and follow Dr. Moon's advice and go make "angry eyes" at the tree outside my window!

[ToukieSmith]

Oh come on.

Wasn't it nice of David to help Shannon out with her situation?

The therapy must've done something.

 

It was either that or listen to her whine about having something up her ass.  He chose the lessor of 2 evils.

[MyMorningCoffee]

Anyone else see the half-used roll of toilet paper behind Vicki's head in the limo? Random.

[cherry slushie]

Now can we say that Shannon finally got the stick out of her ass?

 

The shot of David scrubbing his hands after anally probing Shannon = Priceless.

 

Dear Briana - Tamra is about as brutally honest as Pinocchio.

 

The less we see of Meghan, the better the episode.

Edited October 6, 2015 by cherry slushie

[Mrs peel]

Tamra says the baptism is "all about her" and she can dictate that everyone wear white. She's at a hotel getting her makeup done while wearing an incredibly large gaudy cross, and is worried about her make-up after she is baptized (but at least we don't have to worry about her dress since she bought 2). Meanwhile Vicki is suddenly discussing Satan and has an angel statute outside her kitchen. And next week she compares herself to Christ on the cross.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. They are both disgusting, and as far from God as I can imagine.

It makes Shannon doing a colonic and thinking she had plastic up her butt seem normal.

Edited October 6, 2015 by Mrs peel

[lunastartron]

In the thread for last week's episode, there was a lengthy debate vis-a-vis the CUT birthday celebration for Brooks and whether or not the women's conversational questions constituted "grilling." I had the weekly catch-up marathon on in the background earlier while doing housekeeping and at the Aries party Vicki clearly says that she and Brooks were responding to Meghan and Co's inquiries at CUT "because we thought you cared." So the account of feeling interrogated is nothing but convenient revisionism and retconning . . . Looks like Heather Thomson is not the only Saint Heather in the franchise. Dubrow (of course) has her beat in whatever cosmology reveres gaslighting and oblique allusions to the marital troubles of one's workplace rival ('cause I'm pretty sure Heather intentionally alluded to the presence of "David's lady friend" at the luncheon last year) but forbids explicit references to said troubles. Now, after a season of finding her one of the Moore tolerable members of this cohort (though I guess that's like identifying the tallest building in Topeka), Heather reminds me how full of shit she herself traditionally is . . . So, per next week's preview, I guess Vicki told third (and fourth or fifth parties) about David's affair since the extra Bravo hired to play point for Vickster was coming sideways at Shannon over the issue? That's pretty consistent with Lauri's account of Viccki forwarding George's ex's e-mails to Jeana.

[Cherrio]

Good lawd! TMI Shannon! Why would you decide to give yourself a colonic enema right before you're suppose to go to Tammy Sue's pasturization? And then she said something about the tip being stuck up her ass in front of her daughters! Shannon doesn't want her daughter wearing make up but it's OK they know about what's up her butt? I don't understand. Smh.

And Terry talking about 'doing' Heather in front of their two kids. Do these people not think before they speak or are they that much into themselves?

I'm so tired of the Brooke's has cancer...or not. I've been zoning out during those segments. Not my fault, I think Satan makes me do that.

I was worried about Shannon wearing white after the colonic.

[Midnight Cheese]

I totally didn't know Jesus Christ had an addiction to Cache dresses, poorly applied eyeliner, Restylane, Chanel jewelry and tender sexytimes with toofless Mississippians!  Wait, does Vicki mean she's dying for our collective sins pretty soon?  It's already October and everything.

 

I hope the Reunion includes Tamrat and Truffle Hunter doing some kind of a spiritual together.  It could be gospel, it could be a cover of a Carter family song, it could be one of the Spanish numbers I heard during my childhood Sundays at Catholic mass.  I ain't picky.  (Hey, just like Vicki!  A bit of discernment about which gentlemen should and should not be granted passage into her 'perfect, 2 C-sections!!' vagine would've kept her Brooks-free.)

[Cherrio]

I officially love Shannon now.  I mean, who hasn't spent an hour searching for a 3" piece of plastic in your butt only to learn it fell out in the toilet...

She has this very quirky comedic style about her.   So, now I  understand why Jeff Lewis says they are friends.

Edited October 6, 2015 by Cherrio

[Sai]

In the thread for last week's episode, there was a lengthy debate vis-a-vis the CUT birthday celebration for Brooks and whether or not the women's conversational questions constituted "grilling." I had the weekly catch-up marathon on in the background earlier while doing housekeeping and at the Aries party Vicki clearly says that she and Brooks were responding to Meghan and Co's inquiries at CUT "because we thought you cared." So the account of feeling interrogated is nothing but convenient revisionism and retconning . . . Looks like Heather Thomson is not the only Saint Heather in the franchise. Dubrow (of course) has her beat in whatever cosmology reveres gaslighting and oblique allusions to the marital troubles of one's workplace rival ('cause I'm pretty sure Heather intentionally alluded to the presence of "David's lady friend" at the luncheon last year) but forbids explicit references to said troubles. Now, after a season of finding her one of the Moore tolerable members of this cohort (though I guess that's like identifying the tallest building in Topeka), Heather reminds me how full of shit she herself traditionally is . . . So, per next week's preview, I guess Vicki told third (and fourth or fifth parties) about David's affair since the extra Bravo hired to play point for Vickster was coming sideways at Shannon over the issue? That's pretty consistent with Lauri's account of Viccki forwarding George's ex's e-mails to Jeana.

I wish this was written in English so I could understand it.

[JAYJAY1979]

Shannon beador is like vicki..only less harsh in regards to reality show gold.

Wouldn't one avoid wearing makeup before a baptism? Perhaps tamra needs a dictionary for dummies in order to look up what a baptism is.

A lot of religious talk in this episode...hmmm.. shame Alexis isn't back for a cameo lol

After watching this episode..seeing how both straight and gay relationships are dysfunctional (beador marriage especially).. I'm gonna be single for life

Edited October 8, 2015 by JAYJAY1979

[Cherrio]

Anyone else see the half-used roll of toilet paper behind Vicki's head in the limo? Random.

I saw it but I was not sure what it was. (Need new glasses) But I said, that sure looks like a roll of toilet paper.

[njbchlover]

And don't forget that Ms.Terry might get some 'abs' too!!!

 

Well....no, not according to Heather (and we know who wears the pants in that family, clearly!!)

 

I'm sorry - I thought that was one of the most tasteless things to come out Terry's mouth, ever - because he said that comment to his "tween-aged" son, who, sure as hell knew what his Dad was talking about!!  For a minute, I thought I was watching RHNJ and listening to Joe Gorga!!    

Edited October 6, 2015 by njbchlover

[pamme64]

Tamra says the baptism is "all about her" and she can dictate that everyone wear white. Shes at a hotel getting her makeup done while wearing an incredibly large gaudy cross, and is worried about her ,are-up after she is baptized (but at least we don't have to worry about her dress since she bought 2). Meanwhile Vicki is suddenly discussing Satan and has an angel statute outside her kitchen. And next week she compa,res herself to Christ on the cross.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. They are both disgusting, and as far from God as I can imagine.

It makes Shannon doing a colonic and thinking she had plastic up her butt seem normal.

This has me truly laughing out loud......  and I hate to say, but it could be a my high school reunion!  Quirky, tacky, odd, drunk and many other things that put together at once really are a hoot. *(and it does make Shannon the normal one)! 

[Ubiquitous]

Shut up, Meghan!

Dammit, it looks like Tamra's baptism is going to be this season's "finally". Please shoot me!

So Brooks has pancreatitus, not pancreas cancer? Hmm.

Am I the only one who rolled his eyes when Tamra and Heather claimed they had already suspected Shannon's husband had an affair but kept quiet about it?

[Cherrio]

I could be totally wrong, but from the looks of next week and all of whats been happening this season, it seems like Vicki is gonna get Jill Zarin-ed.

 

           Yep, put out to "pastor".

[Ubiquitous]

Tamra says the baptism is "all about her" and she can dictate that everyone wear white. Shes at a hotel getting her makeup done while wearing an incredibly large gaudy cross, and is worried about her ,are-up after she is baptized (but at least we don't have to worry about her dress since she bought

What is the baptismal version of "bridezilla"?

[happykitteh]

Tamra saying at least twice that she felt like she was getting married at her baptism was really annoying. Tamra - you are not a nun taking final vows and becoming a Bride of Christ. You are having a fake baptism for a stroyline and an excuse for a party where you are the center of attention. Vicki blabbing on about Satan and evil- what a hoot! When did she suddenly becaome so pious? Vicki: "This is the work of Satan". No Vicky, YOU are the work of Satan. Love how the day before her baptism Tamra  is still acting in an un-Christian like manner gossiping with Brianna about Brooks. There isn't an ocean wide enough or deep enough to wash away her sins.

 

Oh my God Shannon! An at home colonic machine? Really? REALLY? I like Shannon but she's a rich lady with too much time on her hands. Thought for a minute there Terry was going to be dispatched to Shannon's home to do the retrieval. That was really stupid of David to stick his finger "up there" to try and remove the plastic had it been there. That would have pushed it further up. LOVED his doing the surgical scrub afterward,haha!

 

So Vicki couldn't wear an appropriate neckline even for a baptism? Once again her "girls" - which need to be renamed "The Middle Aged, No One Wants To See Them, Blobs", were on display. And I noticed her dress was ONCE AGAIN straining across her big ass.

 

Brooks is in hiding cuz he knows he's been outed.

Edited October 6, 2015 by happykitteh

[njbchlover]

I have to say that Shannon really brought the comic relief tonight.  Plus, the normal relief - I loved watching her with her daughters shopping for makeup.  Her horse story was cute and funny!  I also liked that she reminded the girls about not wearing a lot of makeup at a young age, and her warning about their skin was spot on. Teach girls skincare early on in life, and if they listen and follow through, they will have good skin for the rest of their lives.  The fact that she was purchasing natural makeup and not allowing her daughters to look like Brooke Shields in "Pretty Baby" was a plus, too!!

 

The whole colonic scene was great...totally wacky, but normal, in a wacky way.  David commenting that he'd rather be watching the Clippers game that what he actually had to do was pretty funny....

[bravofan27]

This episode was awesome because Meghan and Brooks were not in it! Was Shannon three sheets to the wind when she did the enema? In any case, it's good that Vicki is getting away from Brooks and he is staying away. Laying low is a good idea.

 

Vicki and Shannon are a hoot when they are just doing normal things. Like Vicki on the little kid train-- I mean, who can make that into a funny event except Vicky? And the fact Shannon shared with her kids that her husband just put his hand up her butt. I mean, who can write that shit?

 

I think this show proved that Tamra, Vicki, and Shannon can carry a show on their own. They are wacky in their own right and don't need story writers.

Edited October 6, 2015 by bravofan27

[rustyspigot]

Baptized in a swimming pool. And apparently Oklahoma is the worst place in the world. Circle Jerks at the petting zoo, ass fingering, baptism stylists, dead mahms talking through wind chimes and Jesus. Alrighty.

Edited October 6, 2015 by rustyspigot

[happykitteh]

 

 

Vicki comparing herself to Jesus at the baptism was hilarious (and it was only a matter of time).

 

 

Bwwaaaa! Only a matter of time! That's hilarious!!

Edited October 6, 2015 by happykitteh

[Cherrio]

Tamra saying at least twice that she felt like she was getting married at her baptism was really annoying. Tamra - you are not a nun taking final vows and becoming a Bride of Christ. You are having a fake baptism for a stroyline and an excuse for a party where you are the center of attention. Vicki blabbing on about Satan and evil- what a hoot! When did she suddenly becaome so pious? Vicki: "This is the work of Satan". No Vicky, YOU are the work of Satan. Love how the day before her baptism Tamra  is still acting in an un-Christian like manner gossiping with Brianna about Brooks. There isn't an ocean wide enough or deep enough to wash away her sins.

 

Oh my God Shannon! An at home colonic machine? Really? REALLY? I like Shannon but she's a rich lady with too much time on her hands. Though for a minute there Terry was going to be dispatched to Shannon's home to do the retrieval. That was really stupid of David to stick his finger "up there" to try and remove the plastic had it been there. That would have pushed it further up. LOVED his doing the surgical scrub afterward,haha!

 

So Vicki couldn't wear an appropriate neckline even for a baptism? Once again her "girls" - which need to be renamed "The Middle Aged No One Wants To See Them Blobs", were on display. And I noticed her dress was ONCE AGAIN straining across her big ass.

 

Brooks is in hiding cuz he knows he's been outed.

So, I have to ask, should David used the Dyson Animal for retrieval?      Hold on honey, let me get the attachment.  :)

                  Yeah, if Vicki is actually Jesus, I don't think even Brooks the con man could pull off being Mother Mary?

[happykitteh]

  I also liked that she reminded the girls about not wearing a lot of makeup at a young age, and her warning about their skin was spot on. Teach girls skincare early on in life, and if they listen and follow through, they will have good skin for the rest of their lives. 

 

And don't forget David's warning to the girls that fingers up the butt should never happen. NEVER.

[Kiss my mutt]

That thing with Shannon? Did that really happen? I'm starting to think I'm not as close to my husband as I should be.

[njbchlover]

And don't forget David's warning to the girls that fingers up the butt should never happen. NEVER.

 

Oh, yeah....I forgot that part...I thought to myself "Well, that's one piece of advice that all fathers should probably give to their daughters at some point".....LOL!!!

[AnnA]

The dress shop scene cracked me up.

 

I can't believe Vicki is delusional enough to believe she looks better in that dress than Tamra.

[allboys]

Shannon just saved the season for me.  She makes me laugh. 

I'm so over the Brooks cancer controversy.  Stop talking about it already.  Doesn't affect anyone but Vicki. 

Vicki is sweet with those boys. I feel like they probably do have parks in Oklahoma, Brianna.

[motorcitymom65]

FYI....Shannon and David are on WWHL right now. Many of the things that have been reported about the affair are not exactly correct.

[njbchlover]

Shannon just saved the season for me.  She makes me laugh. 

I'm so over the Brooks cancer controversy.  Stop talking about it already.  Doesn't affect anyone but Vicki. 

Vicki is sweet with those boys. I feel like they probably do have parks in Oklahoma, Brianna.

 

Edited to remove - this was not a proper post.  Sorry!!

Edited October 6, 2015 by njbchlover

[swankie]

Breanna said that Brooks originally said he survived pacreatic cancer and when she pressed him with medical questions he admitted it was not cancer but pacreatitis. My DH survived pancreatitis and there is a 95% resitivism rate of getting it again if you drink. So, anyone who has had it is medically advised to never drink again. Brooks would not be able to drink if that was true. The only people who drink after pancreatitis are typically people who are alcoholics and can't stop and normally die of organ failure due to recurrence of pancreatitis. After 5 years of sobriety my DH was advised he could have a glass at a family wedding or for very special occassions... but my DH said once you survive something like that it just isnt worth it. So just saying Brooks is a liar. No way he could drink like he has cancer or not.

 

I know a few people who've had it who drink. I mean, it's ill-advised to drink but people are going to do what they want, regardless.

 

 

I had a cousin who had one of his lungs removed because of lung cancer.  About a year after his operation he started smoking again.  He smoked on up until the day he died.  Addiction is just that strong.  Some people beat it but others aren't so lucky.  The thought of never having the object of their addiction again scares them more than the disease they get because of it.  It's really sad.

 

I'm not usually one to fat-shame someone, but I think Brianna doesn't know there are any parks because she doesn't walk or get any exercise to find one.  She is really looking very large in those scenes with Tamra.  She was never a small or super thin girl, but she has really put on a lot of weight since she married and moved away.

 

 

Brianna has had thyroid problems for quite a while.  She had a thyroid cancer scare a few seasons ago and had her thyroid removed but the tumors weren't cancerous.

Edited October 6, 2015 by swankie

[Shelby]

I'm not usually one to fat-shame someone, but I think Brianna doesn't know there are any parks because she doesn't walk or get any exercise to find one. She is really looking very large in those scenes with Tamra. She was never a small or super thin girl, but she has really put on a lot of weight since she married and moved away.

I think her thyroid issues contribute to her weight gain.

But yes, if you want to spend time in a park you can find one, especially if your mom gives you car to get there.

[islandgal140]

The title of this episode: Satan loves Confusion is gold because there is so much truth to it. He cut his prize succubus from his harem (#squadgoals) to join Team God. How weird was it to see Tamra seated there getting painted up like the Whore of Babylon to be baptized? Who the hell does that? And she was sitting there making an anal joke when Shannon called.

 

Shannon bringing new meaning to 'just the tip.' I don't know why the hell she thought she needed an emergency colonic before a baptism. I know evil likes to hide there but there is No need to be zestfully clean in all your nooks and crannies for such an event. 

 

That was some old school Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston love with David going up there to fish it out.

 

Ugh, at Bri and Ryan commenting on the scent of the house and stuff. I do think it is interesting that Bri says and thinks that Vicki has chosen Brooks over her. I get that there is a lot not to like about Brooks but Bri is seeming just as self-centered as Vicki in this instance. I don't think Brianna wants to share her mother with any man. Don wasn't good enough until they divorced, up until than he was just a man that was married to her mom. 

 

Brianna is just odd. You know what really what stuck with me? When she mentioned the first time finding out that Brooks had moved into 'the family home' she got a text from a friend and she saw Brooks and Vicki sitting and holding hands on the 'family couch.' WTH? Family couch?!?! I had a needle skip when she mentioned family home because that conjures up imagines of the Pondersa, South Fork, Tara or something that has been in a family for generations but okay, if I squint a little I can see it. But fucking family couch? Come on now! Didn't Vicki do a large scale redecorating and change out all the furniture? So I hardly doubt that Brianna was fucking burped or doing her elementary school homework on that sofa. Seriously, is all Vicki's shit communal family property? Maybe it is just me. My mom's stuff is just my mom's stuff. I don't call her couch, the family couch. Just odd. Or maybe this was the sofa that Ryan was ready to fight to the death Lydia's 60+ yr old mother so they've earned it. LOL!

 

I can't even with the cancer discussion anymore. Can't. 

Edited October 6, 2015 by islandgal140

[Lola43]

Brianna and Ryan need to STFU.

[bravofan27]

Haha, take away message from this show. Take care of your skin, and don't put your fingers up anyone's but until you are old enough. Seems like good advice!

 

I'm not usually one to fat-shame someone, but I think Brianna doesn't know there are any parks because she doesn't walk or get any exercise to find one.  She is really looking very large in those scenes with Tamra.  She was never a small or super thin girl, but she has really put on a lot of weight since she married and moved away.

 

I realize this was a sincere comment, but it was funny! I sort of felt that Brianna was crushing on Tamra at the lunch. She is very butch. Not a bad thing, but she looks like a blond Rosie O'Donnell.

 

There is a story about Vicki on Bravo, and she says she is 100% over Brooks, and is sort of hoping to rekindle things with Donn. That would be amazing! I hope she meets a guy that is really nice to her that she can trust.