Favorite Quotes: "What the hell goes on at night in this house?!"

[xander874]

Rocco (to Dorothy): Yes Mrs. Cleaver.

Not a great line, but the delivery was funny. RIP Mickey Rooney.

And another of my favs: Dorothy: You're right Blance, these naked Southern boys sure can dance!

[MrMattyMatt]

"CONDOMS, ROSE!!! CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!!!!"

Followed by:  "Calm down ladies!  Did you just get out of prison?"

[LilWharveyGal]

"Oh I am CRAZY NUTS about this guy!"

[bunnywithanaxe]

Maybe this is a good place to request help finding a quote: There was one episode where Blanche was teasing Rose about her cow town roots for the millionth time, and Rose finally goes off and gives this brilliant speech in praise of St Olaf. I have Lutheran roots, so I was dying with joy. Couldn't find it on youtube, though.

[FinePoint]

LOVE this forum, and the thread titles are spot on. 

Now, I think I'll go take a bath, in just enough water to....barely cover my.....perky bosoms. 

[OSM Mom]

You're only going to sit in an inch of water?

[spaceytraci1208]

It's a tie for me between "Get bent, Ha-Ha!" and "I'll put your heart out, Ha-Ha!"

[sgittinger]

"Dorothy, stop that, you're making a fool of yourself, Mr. Ha Ha's lookin' at you"!

[Charlie Baker]

Clearly this thread could go on forever.

I appreciated it when subsidiary roles or bit players got some juicy lines:

"...and if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly."

[OSM Mom]

"Now look, Stretch..."

[Stinger97]

"Well excuse me for living, Anita Bryant."

[OSM Mom]

"You're ready to fly right out of here, aren't you?"

[ItalianAngel73]

Maybe this is a good place to request help finding a quote: There was one episode where Blanche was teasing Rose about her cow town roots for the millionth time, and Rose finally goes off and gives this brilliant speech in praise of St Olaf. I have Lutheran roots, so I was dying with joy. Couldn't find it on youtube, though.

I think I know which quote you're talking about. It's from part 2 of the season 5 episode "Sick and Tired". I'm trying to find the exact quote online. I think this comes pretty close:

"You know I'm tired of you knocking Minnesota! We might not be as 'sophisticated' as Miami, with French boutiques, valet parking, and facelifts for Christmas vacation, but we have family and community! And so what if we have farms? If we didn't have farms you couldn't eat, if you couldn't eat you couldn't go on a diet, and if you couldn't go on a diet what will you do for the rest of your life?!"

[bunnywithanaxe]

Definitely part of it! Thank you!

[mojito]

Don't remember the quote. Remember when the girls were buying condoms and the drug store and they had to do a price check? Rose's choice, announced to all, was "black".

[OSM Mom]

A box of the King George prophylactics. The ultra sensitive in black.

[camom]

Referring to Rose's speech about Minnesota, after that didn't she storm out, then come back in and say, "Was I harsh?"

Edited April 15, 2014 by camom

[SunShine Gal]

I LOVE the quote in this thread title. There are certain lines that could only be said by a certain character. Dorothy brought a centered perspective with the perfect amount of sarcasm.

[sgittinger]

"Yes, it's me, Lyle Waggoner! No autographs". "No problem". "MA"!

[roseslg]

I'm devastated...

[OSM Mom]

"I'm stunned.... Just stunned..... There's no way to describe how...... *stunned* I am...."

Edited April 16, 2014 by OSM Mom

[FinePoint]

"I'm stunned.... Just stunned..... There's no way to describe how...... *stunned* I am...."

Blanche, are you trying to tell us that you are.......stunned? 

[emma675]

Dorothy and Rose singing: "M I A, another M I,  M I A M I spells Miami Beach..."

Blanche: "Girls."

D&R: "It stirs emotions..." 

B: "Girls!"

D&R: "It's by the ocean..."

B: "Girls!!"

D&R: "So bring your suntan lotion..."

B: "GIRLS!!!"

B: "M-I-A-M-I doesn't spell Miami Beach. That spells Miami"

Rose: "I told you not to add beach."

Dorothy: "Well, fine then. You find something that rhymes with Miami, hotshot!"

Rose: "Mammy, whammy, clammy, salami, hootenanny, alabammy!"

Dorothy: "Hootenanny is marginal and I refuse to accept salami."

Edited April 17, 2014 by emma675d

[OSM Mom]

"Thrice? Who the hell says 'thrice'?"

"It's a word! "

"So is intrauterine.... It does not belong in a song..."

Rose: "Miami.... You're cuter than an intrauterine..."

Edited April 17, 2014 by OSM Mom

[OSM Mom]

"My feet have wings, barfbag..."

[camom]

You're a furry little gnome and we feed you too much.

[wanderingstar]

Sophia: No offense, Pussycat.

 

Dorothy: None taken, you cankerous little prune.

[sgittinger]

Now listen here, you withered old Sicilian monkey.

[OSM Mom]

You're so old, you don't leave fingerprints anymore.

[LilWharveyGal]

My mistake, I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise.

[Bort]

"You told me how much America meant to you. How wonderful America was. How nice it is to be in a country that doesn't CARE about soccer."

I just spent the last four months in the UK, basically forced to watch soccer everywhere I went. This episode was on this morning and that line almost made me choke.

[OSM Mom]

Blanches boyfriend Simon: "Wow. Its such a beautiful night...think I'll push the car home..."

[wanderingstar]

Some more that always get me:

 

Yes, it's true; possum is brain food.

 

Blanche, before you start, realize I am very vulnerable now, and in no mood to hear a story about you and some yahoo-cracker with four first names pawing at each other under a magnolia tree.

[SunShine Gal]

Yes, the 4 different places she lost her virginity. LOL!

[Stinger97]

Sophia: Well, I'm off! 

Dorothy: That would be my diagnosis. 

[Melgaypet]

Sophia, on attending a Papal Mass: I snuck into the crippled and lame section.

Dorothy: Ma, how could you?

Sophia: With a pronounced limp.

[LucyEth]

"My mistake, I thought because you looked like Yoda you were also wise"

[ATWTer76]

"You could light firecrackers in his nostrils. You won't wake him."

"So, did you and Arnie play find-the-cannoli?"

"Mmmm...if this sauce was a person, I'd get naked and make love to it."

"Get yer bunny nose out of my butt."

"I can't help it! There's just something about a man in a Santa Claus suit that drives me absolutely crazy! Maybe it's all the warmth of that Red! Hot! Sweaty! flannel set against the austere coldness of those black patent leather jackboots! Or, maybe it's because those rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes bespeak a passion that is about to erupt from a man who's just spent a cold, lonely year cooped up with a pack of dwarves. All I know is the sight of a Santa sets my body aflame with unbridled desire!"

"Tell me, Rose, did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon?"

"Only once, but they shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring would do it."

[mojito]

 

"Tell me, Rose, did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon?"

"Only once, but they shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring would do it."

I caught that today. That was one of my favorite GG scenes of all times, watching Blanche and Dorothy trying not to laugh as Rose talked about the Herring Circus.

[babyhouseman]

Dorothy: I've just been thrown out of an unauthorized Elvis-fan-club... I'll try to pick up the pieces and go on with my life... I mean there must be a support group for people like me.

 

Dorothy: An aphrodisiac, Rose. Something that makes you feel sexy... like Spanish Fly.

Rose: [disgusted] Spanish flies?

Dorothy: Fly, Rose. One Fly. Spanish Fly.

Rose: Oh, come on Dorothy. I've been to Spain. It's not the cleanest country in the world, they must have thousands of flies.

Dorothy: It is not a fly Rose! It's a beetle!

Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?

Dorothy: Yes.

Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?

Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!

[scarynikki12]

Dorothy, Dorothy bo-Borothy

Banana fanna fo Forothy

Me my mo Morothy

Dorothy!

 

::tires screech::

 

Get out, Rose.

 

Perfect emotion booster in the wake of TWOP's demise.

[AKA...CJ86]

Sonny Bono, get off my lanai…

[Cobalt Stargazer]

This is my first post ever in these forums.

 

Rose: "I had never....seen a man before."

 

Blanche: "A man?"

 

Rose: "You know.....a *man*."

 

The way Blanche cuts her eyes at Dorothy before she responds is what makes it gold, so to speak.

[Planbee]

Dorothy, Dorothy bo-Borothy

Banana fanna fo Forothy

Me my mo Morothy

Dorothy!

 

::tires screech::

 

Get out, Rose.

 

Perfect emotion booster in the wake of TWOP's demise.

DOROTHY: TWO BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL?! Rose, you stopped at two bottles of beer??

ROSE: Yeah, it just drives you nuts, doesn't it? Good night! 

[Tunia]

Dorothy and Rose are sitting out on the lanai discussing their suspected UFO sighting...

 

Dorothy: Rose, what we saw was not a UFO.
Rose: Well, it wasn't a plane. Planes aren't that thin or that bright.
Dorothy: Neither is Oprah Winfrey, but that doesn't make her a flying saucer!

[LucyEth]

Sophia to Rose:  I'm talking to Bozo!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Sophia: "I hate to leave, I've never seen a show like this."

[ATWTer76]

Blanche (holding can of smoked oysters): If you ever have a date with a man who's a little sluggish...a tin of these and a bottle of Cold Duck and you'll be pryin' him off the wall!"

"You bought those pantyhose in petite! Anybody can see you couldn't get those past your knees!"

Blanche: Well, I'm not going in on this nightstick!

Dorothy: It's a pepperoni!

Blanche: It's obnoxious!

Rose: Here we are, Sophia. A nice dish of Jello.

Sophia: Rose, if God had meant peaches to be suspended in mid-air, he would've filled 'em with helium.

Rose: Did all that stuff come out of your purse?

Sophia: No, Rose. I was also cleaning out my ears. That's where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.

"I think she's a gerkonanaken! Literally, it's the precise moment when dog doo turns white, but in general, it refers to the kind of person you don't want to share your hoogencoggles with."

"Oh, blow it out your tubenvurbels!"

"Rose, I have an even bigger scoop for you. Mars bars are made right here on Earth!"

"Oh Lord, it's been so long since I've been dipped. I cain't even remember which end of a gafloofen is up."

[OSM Mom]

Sophia-"I haven't seen that kind of face eating since 'The Silence of the Lambs.' "

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Rose: "Is it possible to love two men at the same time?"

 

Blanche: "I don't know. Set the scene, have we been drinking?"