Favorite Quotes: "What the hell goes on at night in this house?!"

[ATWTer76]

Dorothy: So one might say you brought genurkenflurken into the '80s?

Rose: Yes, but I'm not one to blow my own vetoovenfrooven.

Sophia: I can't even reach mine!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Blanche: "My whole life is an open book."

 

Sophia: "Your whole life is an open blouse."

[BooksRule]

Rose:  My mother always used to say 'the older you get, the better you get--unless you're a banana'.

 

Blanche:  'She was listening to her car radio, Big Band, not all talk.  There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number and a dime in a door handle.  Then, Bim Bam Boosh, won the tickets!'

Dorothy: 'Take a lesson, Rose.  That's how you tell a story'.

[AKA...CJ86]

Blanche: "My whole life is an open book."

 

Sophia: "Your whole life is an open blouse."

 

This made me think of this:

 

Blanche: "I treat my body like a temple."

Sophia: "Yeah, open to everyone, day or night."

[BooksRule]

Blanche:  'I'll give you anything.  I'll give you one of my sons.'

Dorothy:  'Blanche...'

Blanche: 'I've given this a lot of thought.  I've had 4 kids. I've never had a Mercedes.  So, which one do you want?  Biff, Doug, Skippy?  No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma'.

 

Sophia:  'My hiney's asleep'.

Dorothy:  'Fine, we'll keep our voices down'.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"My feet have wings, barf bag."

[MrMattyMatt]

Rose:  I'm making Kirstin's favorite "maple syrup honey brown sugar molasses rice krispies log"  - The recipe calls for flour but I think that makes it too heavy.

Dorothy:  "Rose, let me ask you, do any of your kids still have their own teeth?"

[OSM Mom]

Then later when Kristen arrives and gives everyone those logs: Dorothy: "It's a log... I'm going to burn it..."

[ATWTer76]

Rose (when asked what she was making for breakfast): Chocolate chip pancakes. Made with brown sugar, honey, whipped cream and maple syrup.

Sophia: Rose, if God had meant man to eat like that, he would've handed him his teeth in a baggie!

[camom]

Dorothy:  I'd kill Gloria if she wrote a book about my sexual life.

Sophia:  You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?

 

Blanche:  Tell me something, girls.  Am I competent in what I do?

Rose:  Based on the sounds from your bedroom, I'd say you're damn near spectacular.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Dorothy: "Rose, you are feeling sorry for yourself. Sure, you're five years older. So am I, so is Blanche. You have a few more wrinkles. So do I, so does Blanche. Sure, you're a little thicker around the middle. So is Blanche!"

 

The way Rue keeps ramping up the annoyance in Blanche's expression is awesome. I love the ep Job Hunting.

Edited June 6, 2014 by Cobalt Stargazer

[DXD526]

Blanche: “What will I wear? I don’t have a thing that doesn’t call attention to my bosom!”

Sophia: “Try not wearing make-up.”

 

Sophia: “In the old days, we didn’t need psychiatrists. You had a problem, you fought, you drank, you got a little on the side…you dealt with it!”

 

Sophia: “This morning I forgot my cat’s been dead for 20 years; which makes me wonder, who’s using the kitty litter?”

 

Sophia (on weight loss): “I prefer the Italian diet. You drink a bottle of wine, make a smart remark, then get your jaw wired!”

 

Rose (to Blanche): “I forgive you for being a moral-less, emotionally-needy man-leach with an airbag in her headboard!”

 

Dorothy (after she and Sophia insult each other in public): “We’re from before bonding and quality time.”

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Dorothy, why do people die?"

 

"Oh, Rose, please, I don't even know why fools fall in love."

[truthaboutluv]

Posted this in the least favorite/worse episode thread and thought it was appropriate here. I always crack up at this exchange from The Commitments episode when Dorothy got involved with the guy in the Beatlemania show:

Dorothy: "I'm stunned…I'm just stunned. What can you say about a show by an ex-fake Beatle that began with "I've Gotta Be Me" and ended with "Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting. What the hell was that man doing up there?"

Rose: "Was it that bad?"

Dorothy: "Had it been a fight they would have stopped it."

Rose: "Did he do any of his own material?"

Dorothy: "Oh yes…A Tribute to Dorothy. Dot…dot, what a girl I got. The last words I heard as I sprinted to my car was "when we shower together we don't have to turn on hot."

Edited June 9, 2014 by truthaboutluv

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Now that you feel like the dirt you wanted my daughter to eat, I'm going into the kitchen and have a nice hard candy."

[ATWTer76]

"His klingenschpritzer's showing!"

Big Daddy Hollingsworth: Do my eyes deceive me or do I see Sophia Petrillo standing here before me? Or did y'all get Sophia Loren as your new roommate?

Sophia: Get out the boots -- he's back!

Blanche: Roger! Edgar! Burt! Leonard! Well, what are they all doin' here?

Rose: I invited everyone in your address book.

Blanche: The little red one by my nightstand?

Rose: No, the the little black one by your hot body-oil dispenser.

"Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story! At what point in the evening did you finally meet George?"

Rose: The Men of Blanche's Boudoir...

Blanche: It's a calendar. Each month has the picture of a man who's brought some special joy into my life.

Dorpthy: Oh Blanche...oh honey, this is so thoughtful....woooooo!

Blanche: September?

Dorothy: Yep!

Sophia: I'm surprised you were able to walk in October!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Dorothy: "He comes in Steve and goes out Edie!"

[truthaboutluv]

Blanche: "Well I don't see what the big deal is in passing this boy. Why in my neck of woods, they practically gave grades away."

 

Dorothy: "Blanche, in your neck of the woods men named Bubba get into Law School."

[mojito]

Every so often, I visit this forum to enjoy some good chuckles. What a great show this was.

 

What I thought of just now as I read some of these posts was that in most cases, you don't even have to identify the speaker. There's a game to be created based on the lines and who made them.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"What were you doing in ladies petite?"

[OSM Mom]

"Anyone could see you couldn't get those past your knees.."

[ATWTer76]

"If you don't keep your voice down, I'm gonna hit you in the head with this loin of pork." ;)

[OSM Mom]

"Where exactly are your loins? I've heard of loin of pork..."

[truthaboutluv]

Blanche: "I have great news...my mother-in-law died."

 

Dorothy: "I take it the period of mourning is over."

 

Blanche: "I loathed Mama Devereaux and she felt the same about me. 'Til the day George died, she always introduced me as his first wife. I just hope the ol' witch went slowly."

 

The way Blanche says slowly always cracks me up. I also love how after she says this and says she forgot to share her really good news, Dorothy goes, "better than the dead mother-in-law?"

[OSM Mom]

I love the way her mother in law on her deathbed kept saying she wanted Blanche to have it...her disease.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

 

"Where exactly are your loins? I've heard of loin of pork..."

"In her case, it's the same thing."

[AKA...CJ86]

I quote this one a lot from Sophia: "Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked."

 

and because I'm thinking of Sophia, this randomly just popped in my head: "Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids."

[LilWharveyGal]

 

I quote this one a lot from Sophia: "Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked."

 

"Was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing?"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Elephant dolls?!"

[ATWTer76]

"Right, elephant dolls. Until finally one night they got so sick and tired of Rose annoying them that they went off to sleep someplace else, and two big ol’ escaped convicts snuck in through the window and MURDERED ROSE IN HER SLEEP!!!"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"He's a priest, isn't he?!"

[ATWTer76]

"I'm so sorry 'Hell Town' was canceled."

[Charlie Baker]

"Shrimp?"

[MrMattyMatt]

What are you serving?   "Short Ribs"

[ATWTer76]

"As it turns out, it wasn't such a bad idea after all. The stuff tasted great, so Salvatore decided to market it. At first it didn't do so well. Linguine with ear salve on a menu doesn't sound too appetizing. But once he changed the name to pesto sauce, it moved like hotcakes."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Well, I guess if you're an idiot with a hearing problem, you do thnigs like that."

[bettername2come]

Dorothy: That did not happen!

Sophia: So what? I'm old - I'm supposed to be colorful!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"I'm the biggest slut."

[OSM Mom]

"That's where the old Sicilian saying 'It's raining cats and pepperoni' comes from."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Hey,. give me a break, we were behind the garbage cans, it's not like we were in front of everybody!"

[ATWTer76]

Rose: Who was known as the world's fastest human being?

Sophia: Dominic Tanzi.

Rose: It says Jesse Owens.

Sophia: Trust me, it was Dominic Tanzi. He got four women pregnant in one night. Two in New York, two in New Jersey.

[Melgaypet]

"Chess is like war, only cheaper. It's the perfect game for Sicily, country very warlike and dead-ass broke."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Ma, why do you always have to aggravate everyone?"

 

"To relax!"

[WhitneyWhit]

I love a tight man....

[emma675]

"She doesn't need a trophy on her mantle, she's on her mantle!!"

[Boots]

As she is dumping out Dorothy's watch she just pounded to bits with a hammer- Sophia: "This watch is broken!" 

 

Don't know why, but I love her delivery on that line. 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Dead, dead, dead. Muffin?"

[ATWTer76]

Blanche: I just need some cucumbers to put on my eyes.

Dorothy: You'll have trouble seeing, Blanche.

Blanche: It's very good. It reduces puffiness.

Rose: Does it work on thighs?

Blanche: I don't know, honey. I don't need it on my thighs.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Rose: "I waited until my wedding night."

 

Blanche: "No!"

 

Rose: "Yes!"

 

Dorothy: "And?"

 

Rose: "And....it was a surprise."

 

Blanche: "How is that possible, did another man show up?"

[WhitneyWhit]

"It was years before I knew what made your eyes roll back in your head"