Favorite Quotes: "What the hell goes on at night in this house?!"

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 4/18/2017 at 8:36 AM, TaraS1 said:

I can hear Rue's delivery of "Many, many men..." in my head just as clearly as if I was watching the episode lol

That whole exchange I put in another thread as a shout out to the man who played Blanche's deceased husband, George Grizzard.  The way he stammers out "H - H - How many men?" just kills me every time.

Blanche:  "Two."

Yeah, maybe two that week!!

I love Blanche.

I also loved the cop that Dorothy turned away - great chemistry but I realize they had to keep the girls single for the show.  Al the cop was great!  The great line from that show?  "Who do ya think you are?  Lady Di? C'mon!"  "You know, you really outta learn some manners......OH MY GOD I AM CRAZY NUTS ABOUT THIS GUY!"

Edited April 18, 2018 by Mrs. Hanson

[schnauzergirl]

We've wondered who else uses the word "thrice."  Try Prince William, who said there would be "thrice the worry" now that he and Kate have three children.  

[mmecorday]

Yes, but does he think his new son is cuter than an intrauterine?

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 4/24/2018 at 10:42 AM, schnauzergirl said:

We've wondered who else uses the word "thrice."  Try Prince William, who said there would be "thrice the worry" now that he and Kate have three children.  

I was coming here to post that!!!

On 4/24/2018 at 11:40 AM, mmecorday said:

Yes, but does he think his new son is cuter than an intrauterine?

I don't know.....that little George is a cutie pie!

[mmecorday]

I'm almost ready to give up watching this show in syndication because when I watch my DVDs, I am always so amazed by just how much is cut from the episodes on TVLand and Hallmark. In "Joust Between Friends," Sophia has an hilarious exchange with Blanche's boss at the museum. He tells her that he wants to show her his two Gauguins and she thinks he's coming onto her. "My husband didn't even show me his Gauguins!" she retorts in absolute disgust. Also, what she says to the Hare Krishna at the airport in "Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas" is hysterical. "Beat it, chrome-dome! And while you're at it, get a job! Get a suit! And get on your knees and beg your mother's forgiveness!" All he did was offer her a flower!

[MoistestCake]

Cheese and crackers Rose? Not eggs geflufen, ham and gunterhagens, pigs and svengebluten? 

Mt Losenbaden, like Mt Rashmore but with presidential losers. 

Not for you nursery nurse nurse nurse. 

There's a bus of Greek sailors asking how many drachmas there are in 8 dollars. (what I don't know is how they knew where she lived, surely her address wasn't in the ad). 

Not now Ma! 

Obstetrician Magician. 

Hans Christian Lökerhuven, who wrote the story of Tunder the Mediocre Tiger. 

Sperhuven crispies. When your ready to throw up from the stench you know they're ready. 

So you're 5 years older, so am I, so is Blanche. So you're a little thicker round the middle, so is Blanche... 

Edited May 28, 2018 by MoistestCake

[MoistestCake]

Blanche tells a story about her controversial date to her prom, explaining that in those days in the South some things were still taboo. Dorothy assumes he was black. The Blanche says: "Benjamin wasn't black. He was from New Jersey. I went to my prom with a Yankee!" 

 

Rose comes out of her room with 2 buckets. Dorothy asks if her roof is leaking too. Rose says:" No, I just finished milking the cows I keep in my closet. I'm sorry, with just 3 hours sleep I can be as bitchy as you."

[Mabinogia]

10 hours ago, MoistestCake said:

Rose comes out of her room with 2 buckets. Dorothy asks if her roof is leaking too. Rose says:" No, I just finished milking the cows I keep in my closet. I'm sorry, with just 3 hours sleep I can be as bitchy as you."

That is one of my all time favorites. I love those little moments when Rose shows her bitchy side. Probably because she's usually so sweet and naïve, that it's sometimes hard for the others to know if she's being sarcastic or not.

[MoistestCake]

Blanche: I've loved books since I was a child. Although I certainly did grow up around some ignorant people. Do you know what horrible thing the folks in my neck of the woods did once when I was a youngun? They burned books. The townspeople made a big pile of 'em in front of the library and they threw a torch on top. Only Big Daddy was outraged. He fought his way through that crowd, clawed his way to the top of that pile, grabbed that lit torch and turned to that crowd and said, "What are you people doing? This is lunacy. Ya start a fire from the bottom. (episode Stand by Your Man). 

[wanderingstar]

One line that always gets me is when Rose is instructing the young football players they're coaching and Dorothy just blurts out

"For God sake, Rose, Eisenhower used less chalk planning D-Day!"

Cracks me up every time!

Edited June 10, 2018 by Gillian Rosh

[Gothish520]

Sophia is staying in Dorothy's room (probably because they have guests) - Sophia starts coughing and asks Dorothy a few times if she has a lozenge or a hard candy or mint. Dorothy snaps "Does it say Kmart on my nightgown?" And Sophia replys something like "As a matter of fact it does, you cheapskate."

[MoistestCake]

On 04/03/2015 at 2:25 PM, Aja said:

"My name is Rose. Like the way a series of pews are arranged in a church."

Isn't it how the seats are arranged in a cinema/theatre? 

[MoistestCake]

R: Oh, that's impossible, Clayton. Brothers can't marry sisters. Oh, that's right, you're from the South... 

[MoistestCake]

R: I guess you don't feel like Sorten Kareerdybarten now.

D: That's Soren Kierkegaard.

R: I got her to say it again. 

[MoistestCake]

R: On Stan's behalf, Charlie once made a lot of money in business with a partner who was also a lousy, no-good, underhanded, backstabbing worm.

D: Let me guess, Rose. Ivan Boesky-Vanderfloovenhooven- meistergarbengerbenfleckman.

R: That's the louse. 

[camom]

"He comes in Steve and goes out Eydie"

[MoistestCake]

Blanche signs her granddaughter up for a beauty pageant... 
Dorothy to Rose: Lost the Little Miss St.
Olaf pageant, did you? 
Rose: Twenty-three years in a row. Once they picked Eileen Ditmeyer's imaginary playmate over me. Well, sure, she was more talented, but still, *I smelled a rat*.
Blanche: You mean the contest was fixed? 
Rose: *No, that was my talent. Smelling rats*. 

(a bit later... ) 

Granddaughter: But we can still go to the circus this week, right?
Blanche: You can go to that circus any old time. How many years can you enter the Little Miss contest? 
Dorothy: Evidently, twenty-three.

[scarynikki12]

Rose: At least my mother voted for me.

[mmecorday]

The whole episode about Blanche going into menopause makes me laugh, especially this exchange:

Dorothy: You don't get cramps once a month, you don't get crazy once a month, you don't go on eating binges once a month.

Sophia: You just grow a beard.

Blanche: Oh, mah gawd!

Sophia: One morning I woke up I looked like Arafat.

Blanche: Oh, mah gawd!

[MoistestCake]

Loverboy: isn't this something Blanche, they gave us the same table. 

Blanche: why would they seat us separately? 

[MoistestCake]

D: I'm not a Gabor?!

S: Tell me about it... 

[MoistestCake]

R: if I lose my job all I'll be able to do is sit at home and tell St Olaf stories. 

B: blackmail, very smart. 

R: they don't call me Harold Goldstein for nothing. 

[schnauzergirl]

21 hours ago, MoistestCake said:

Loverboy: isn't this something Blanche, they gave us the same table. 

Blanche: why would they seat us separately? 

I always thought this sounded like something Rose, not Blanche, would say.

[marriedaniac]

On 6/30/2018 at 3:28 AM, schnauzergirl said:

I always thought this sounded like something Rose, not Blanche, would say.

To be fair, Blanche did think Danny Thomas was a lesbian. ;)

[Mrs. Hanson]

12 hours ago, marriedaniac said:

To be fair, Blanche did think Danny Thomas was a lesbian. ;)

But was Danny Thomas cuter than an intrauterine?

[mmecorday]

Rose & Dorothy: M-I-A another M-I, M-I-A-M-I spells Miami Beach.

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: It stirs emotion ...

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: It's by the ocean ...

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: So bring your suntan lotion ...

Blanche: Girls! M-I-A-M-I doesn't spell Miami Beach, it spells Miami!

(I KNOW you all were singing this in your heads!)

[MoistestCake]

On 02/09/2018 at 6:20 PM, mmecorday said:

Rose & Dorothy: M-I-A another M-I, M-I-A-M-I spells Miami Beach.

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: It stirs emotion ...

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: It's by the ocean ...

Blanche: Girls!

Rose & Dorothy: So bring your suntan lotion ...

Blanche: Girls! M-I-A-M-I doesn't spell Miami Beach, it spells Miami!

(I KNOW you all were singing this in your heads!)

I have to say what I feel... Simon? Yes, Garfunkel. 

[mmecorday]

You could not pay me to have my picture taken with Anita Bryant.

[MoistestCake]

On 01/07/2014 at 9:21 AM, ATWTer76 said:

Black?! Benjamin wasn't black! He was from New Jersey! I WENT TO MY SENIOR PROM WITH A YANKEE!

One of my all time favourites 

[TexasTiffany]

In the car on a road trip-

Rose singing: "Dorothy, Dorothy, Bo-Borthy..."

(we hear tires screeching, the car braking hard)

Dorothy: "Get out, Rose!"

[mmecorday]

Sophia: So, Bigshot. Did you get the tickets?

Dorothy: What, no hello first?

Sophia: Hello, Bigshot. Did you get the tickets?

Edited October 2, 2018 by mmecorday

[Gothish520]

Just saw this episode a few months ago: Sophia is commenting on how giving birth to Dorothy was so painful, and Dorothy says Ma, you're hurting my feelings! And Sophia replies "Not as much as you hurt my oonie" - OMG I cracked up! I do not remember seeing that scene before. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by Gothish520

[Snow Apple]

I don't remember the exact quote but I always liked the scene where Dorothy talked about about the past and having concert tickets but her kids got sick. Then she said something like it was one of those times when you pretend to love your kids more than what you really want to do. And then all the girls knowingly nod.

 I hope I didn't post this before; I don't remember.

[Bastet]

Three On a Couch, when they introduce themselves to the therapist:

"I’m Sophia Petrillo, and my idea of a good psychiatrist is a bartender who pours without a spout."

[MoistestCake]

You have Bette Davis eyes, and Freddie Kruger hands (Rose to Blanche). 

[MoistestCake]

R: I guess you don't feel like Sorten Kareerdybarten now.

D: That's Soren Kierkegaard. 

(I love all the St Olaf words and characters and love this kind of follow up joke) 

[DXD526]

"That's dog love in your eye!"

[MoistestCake]

Look who's calling the vase ming (one of my favourites) 

 

Talking of vases, as a linguist, I find it interesting that in the Break In episode when Rose shoots Blanche's vase, Blanche calls it a 'vahz' (like in British English or is it US too?) while Sophia says 'vays' (rhymes with ways). Nothing to do with the GG, just a thought. 

[Mabinogia]

I think Blanche just likes to put on airs and thinks vahz sounds fancier than vays while Sophie just doesn't give a poop about sounding fancy. 

[link417]

On 12/2/2018 at 4:14 PM, MoistestCake said:

Look who's calling the vase ming (one of my favourites) 

 

Talking of vases, as a linguist, I find it interesting that in the Break In episode when Rose shoots Blanche's vase, Blanche calls it a 'vahz' (like in British English or is it US too?) while Sophia says 'vays' (rhymes with ways). Nothing to do with the GG, just a thought. 

We pronounce it both ways in the US.

[Gothish520]

On 12/2/2018 at 4:14 PM, MoistestCake said:

Look who's calling the vase ming (one of my favourites) 

 

Talking of vases, as a linguist, I find it interesting that in the Break In episode when Rose shoots Blanche's vase, Blanche calls it a 'vahz' (like in British English or is it US too?) while Sophia says 'vays' (rhymes with ways). Nothing to do with the GG, just a thought. 

I've always heard that the difference between vahz and vays is the pricetag! ;)

But in fact, in the US most people pronounce it vace, like mace. 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Gothish520

[MoistestCake]

On 06/12/2018 at 5:55 PM, Gothish520 said:

I've always heard that the difference between vahz and vays is the pricetag! ;)

But in fact, in the US most people pronounce it vace, like mace. 

Mace is also what Blanche uses as hairspray... 

[babyhouseman]

On the Big Bang Theory, one of the guys was auditioning to be a magician. He did the watch in the bag gag and broke a watch. All I could think was GG did it much better.

 

 

Sophia Petrillo: [after her magic trick goes awry] This watch is broken.

Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma! Stan gave me that watch for our wedding anniversary!

Sophia Petrillo: Well the marriage never worked, why should the watch?

[Gothish520]

11 hours ago, MoistestCake said:

Mace is also what Blanche uses as hairspray... 

Omg poor Blanche! "I maced myself right there in the police station! I almost died!"

[link417]

15 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Omg poor Blanche! "I maced myself right there in the police station! I almost died!"

I love her line when she laments that actual criminals are running around free yet they locked her up:

”Who’d I hurt — me?!”

[MoistestCake]

12 hours ago, link417 said:

I love her line when she laments that actual criminals are running around free yet they locked her up:

”Who’d I hurt — me?!”

In the last few years the GG has been remade in Hebrew for the Israeli Market. They seem to have based some eps on the original and some seem unrelated; I've only watched a few episodes but I saw the remake of The Break In where instead of hairspray/mace they have a cell phone/taser, and she tases herself at the police station. Needless to say there is nothing like the original. 

[link417]

16 minutes ago, MoistestCake said:

In the last few years the GG has been remade in Hebrew for the Israeli Market. They seem to have based some eps on the original and some seem unrelated; I've only watched a few episodes but I saw the remake of The Break In where instead of hairspray/mace they have a cell phone/taser, and she tases herself at the police station. Needless to say there is nothing like the original. 

I’ve heard of remakes in other countries and wondered when/if we’ll get an American remake, but it really doesn’t make sense in the foreseeable future since the original still holds up so well. I’ve been watching these episodes over and over again for 20 years and I still love them!

[BlancheDevoreaux]

On 12/8/2018 at 6:02 PM, link417 said:

I love her line when she laments that actual criminals are running around free yet they locked her up:

”Who’d I hurt — me?!”

I crack up when she says, "Works?! They thought I was on Angel Dust!"

[wanderingstar]

Just watched the two Christmas episodes on Hulu. In "Have Yourself a Very Little Christmas," I love it when Dorothy throws Stan out of the house, slams the door on him, and then says to the rest of the girls, "If he's still here in the morning, let's give him coffee, ok." I don't know why, but that cracks me up every time!

[Marsupial]

All Stan and Dorothy interactions are priceless.

----------

Dorothy wants to call a doctor for Sophia:

Dorothy: Ma, you don't look good.

Sophia: I'm short and I'm old. What did you expect, Lady Di?

….Later, the doctor is there and Sophia tells Dorothy to fix him a plate of the dinner she had cooked:

Dorothy: Not now, Ma, I'll do it later.

Sophia: Later I'll be dead, I won't know if he liked it!

-----------------------------------------------

Blanche spends two hours getting ready for her date. 

Blanche's date: Wow, you look gorgeous.

Blanche: Why, I didn't even have time to put my make up on!

Dorothy's eyes roll back so hard she almost falls off the couch.