Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[Eliot]

In the Verizon commercial where the guy is fantasizing about overpowering a convenience store robber, I continually mis-hear his instruction to his fellow hostage. He whispers, "On...My...COUNT..." but to me it always sounds like he left off the crucial "o" in "count" and is saying something else entirely. Which makes it both obscene AND a head-scratcher.

[AntiBeeSpray]

That is totally on purpose.  I think they're hoping it will  go viral like the K-mart "ship my pants" commercial did.

Yea I think so too. Only thing it does is make me go O_o.

[90PercentGravity]

I'm surprised 1̶,̶0̶0̶0̶,̶0̶0̶0̶ 50,000 Moms isn't all over it.  Guess it went over their heads.

[Aquarius]

Hee. I write SQL queries for a living and I always crack up when I leave off that "o" when typing.

[OSM Mom]

There is an ad for an upcoming Animal Planet program called Ice Lake Rebels. It's about some survivalist "rebels" living on houseboats way up north in Canada's NorthWest Territory. Apparently, as long as you don't actually live on land, you don't have to pay taxes, etc.

Anyway, they're interviewing one of the guys, a really excitable guy who at one point exclaims "I know my ____________; do you?" I cannot figure out what he's saying!

It sounds like he's saying "I know my crazy;do you?" which makes no sense... But its the best I can do.

[Sandman87]

The problem is that the people that are going to be using that site are ones who are involved in farming or ranching which means they are very much tied to the land where they are. So unless it's going to match me with someone in a thirty mile radius, who I probably would already have found on my own, it's pretty much useless.

 

In the rural county where I live there's about 90,000 people living within about 30 miles of me. Most of them aren't farmers or ranchers, just folks who happen to live in a rural area and commute to work.

 

I can definitely see that appeal of a dating site that might match me up with someone who doesn't mind all the gunshots during hunting season, the sunrise wake-up call from my neighbor's goats and chickens, the occasional visits from horses/cows/emus that have gotten loose, the occasional visits from critters that might smell really bad or rattle their tails, the coyote serenades at night, and so on and so forth.

[xaxat]

What have we come to as a people when we are too lazy to eat a whole cinnamon bun?

[riley702]

It sounds like he's saying "I know my crazy;do you?" which makes no sense... But its the best I can do.

That might be it - thanks! Perhaps he means he knows how far he's willing to go for something he wants. And do we know our own limits that well?

Edited July 14, 2014 by riley702

[janie jones]

Most of them aren't farmers or ranchers, just folks who happen to live in a rural area and commute to work.

But are those people going to sign up for FarmersOnly.com?  If they intended it not to be only for farmers, then maybe they shouldn't have named it that.  Although FarmersAndPeopleWillingToMarryFarmers.com probably isn't as easy to remember.

[lachesis]

I recall on an episode of "Hotel Impossible" the host was helping some owners from I think Florida who actually had one of their rinky looking rooms double as a wedding chapel! He was able to catch some guests in the parking lot and the guests stated that if they knew the name of the hotel, they would have never chosen it for themselves. The talk about the reservation site reminded me about that tidbit. I suppose if you don't know the name, you can't look up the yelp reviews to see what people really feel about the place! I don't know if it would be worth the discount to me, to be honest.

[Prevailing Wind]

I recall that hotel was in Niagara Falls, hence the wedding chapel.  I'm so glad I cancelled cable so I'm not tempted to waste time on stupid shows like that.  There are enough stupid shows on broadcast tv.  LOL.

[Prevailing Wind]

It's portion control!  You don't HAVE to eat the whole bun now.  Save some for later, so you won't have to eat a Snickers when you get grumpy/hungry.

[InDueTime]

WTF is going on with that commercial or promo on Discovery for Shark Week? What's with the douchebag riding two sharks throwing chum in the water as the sharks devour birds, a sailboat and seals and the silly mermaid lovingly holding onto his leg?

http://youtu.be/7o70X8bRlsc

It is a poke at the SciFi channel for running its Shark Week the last week in July featuring the premiere of Sharknado 2.

It also resembles Kanye West's "Power" video.

In the same vein as the Sharon Osbourne Atkins ads, Cheerios has the bee trying to sell Honey Nut Cheerios to the Grumpy Cat. The ad makes even less sense than the Atkins ads. Though I did get a small laugh out of, "I am smiling."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAaYsRmXoto

Edited July 15, 2014 by InDueTime

[riley702]

I don't like the bee mocking the "grumpy" expression of the cat, as it is the result of feline dwarfism and I think it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, even if they are a cat.

Incidentally, this is also why I despise the owners of the cat, who called her Tard (as in retard) until she became famous and they retconned that her name was really Tardar Sauce. Because that REALLY explains why her littermate with Dwarfism is called Pokey.

Edited July 18, 2014 by riley702

[Bastet]

Yeah, I find myself quite annoyed by the attention - and money - Grumpy Cat's owners are getting, since I, too, despise their naming of the cat (and don't buy for one minute their retcon explanation). 

[theatremouse]

That's... that's not even how you spell tartar sauce. I am baffled. I mean, I've never been a fan of the cat...or any cats...or memes....but y'all just blew my mind. I guess I need to stop being surprised at how bad humans can be at lying to cover their assess.

[bilgistic]

Never mind. Reading is FUNdamental.

Edited July 15, 2014 by bilgistic

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I don't like the bee mocking the "grumpy" expression of the cat, as it is the result of a stroke and I think it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, even if they are a cat.

Incidentally, this is also why I despise the owners of the cat, who called her Tard (as in retard) until she became famous and they retconned that her name was really Tardar Sauce.

Wait, what? Really?! Ugh.

[riley702]

Yeah, the poor thing has a form of dwarfism as well. They mock her and pimp her out, and tell really lame lies trying to cover their asses about the mocking. I'm convinced they're horrible people. The only semi-cute thing I've seen is her commiserating with Venus, the "chimera" cat.

 

[bilgistic]

OMG, that cat in the bottom frame is amazing! How didn't I know about this until now??

[RubyWoo72]

Just saw a commercial that explains that the blue scented marker gets its aroma from the fart of a blueberry.

[riley702]

OMG, that cat in the bottom frame is amazing! How didn't I know about this until now??

IDK. :)  She has her own Facebook page and stuffed toy that looks like her. Her owner first saw her as a stray "barn cat" and immediately wanted her because her other two cats are... a black and a ginger tabby! One eye is blue and one is green, also.

Edited July 17, 2014 by riley702

[bilgistic]

I looked her up last night. She's so pretty! Her owners have had her since 2009, it seems, so I don't know why all of the sudden she's an Internet sensation.

Edited July 18, 2014 by bilgistic

[InDueTime]

I don't like the bee mocking the "grumpy" expression of the cat, as it is the result of a stroke and I think it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, even if they are a cat.

Incidentally, this is also why I despise the owners of the cat, who called her Tard (as in retard) until she became famous and they retconned that her name was really Tardar Sauce.

Wow. I knew about the name, but I never knew the cat had a stroke. That information really puts the ad in a different light.

[Duke2801]

I don't like the bee mocking the "grumpy" expression of the cat, as it is the result of a stroke and I think it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, even if they are a cat.

Incidentally, this is also why I despise the owners of the cat, who called her Tard (as in retard) until she became famous and they retconned that her name was really Tardar Sauce.

 

Where did you come to find this information about the stroke and changing her name from Tard to Tarder Sauce?  I've never heard that before. 

[riley702]

I can't remember the original source - I cruise the internet like I used to read our encyclopedias for fun as a kid (really - the dictionary, too!) - I look up one thing, which leads to something else, which leads to something I saw while looking up another thing, which leads to... several happy hours later. But googling "Grumpy Cat Tard" or "Grumpy Cat Dwarfism" leads to a scad of links.

 

http://epicdolls.com/beauturkey/2013/03/17/grumpy-cats-real-name-and-everything-that-is-wrong-with-the-internet/

http://mentalfloss.com/article/53217/16-fun-facts-about-grumpy-cat

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grumpy_Cat

 

The last two both tell about her dwarfism, as well as the fact that she has a littermate (Pokey) with dwarfism as well. He's shown here:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/02/grumpy-cats-brother-revealed-pokey-only-slightly-less-grumpy_n_2065783.html

 

It repeats the bit about Tard being Tardar Sauce, but really? And the fact that you named both cats with a genetic disorder "Tard" AND "Pokey"? Pull the other leg, it's shorter. 

 

I stand corrected about the stroke. It was someone speculating about the cat. Thanks for fact-checking me. I'll correct my original post.

[riley702]

nm

Edited July 19, 2014 by riley702

[Sandman87]

The half and half cat picture compelled me to make this:

And yes, I'm aware of the irony involved in using Photoshop to do it.

 

Just saw a commercial that explains that the blue scented marker gets its aroma from the fart of a blueberry.

I don't know whether that's supposed to gross me out, make me want to write things down, or make me hungry. Also, that means that the marker is officially closer to being actual food than the "blueberries" in store-bought cake mix.

 

[bilgistic]

I don't like the bee mocking the "grumpy" expression of the cat, as it is the result of feline dwarfism and I think it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, even if they are a cat.

My cats said that it's uncool to mock someone for a medical condition, *especially* if they are a cat.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Just saw a commercial that explains that the blue scented marker gets its aroma from the fart of a blueberry.

I have no idea what this means, but I cannot stop laughing at it.

[RubyWoo72]

I have no idea what this means, but I cannot stop laughing at it.

I'm too lazy to try to find the commercial on YouTube (and even then I wouldn't know how to link it) but look up Mr. Marker or Mr. Magic or something like that. A little blueberry is sitting on a chair in a lab and it leans sideways so it can toot. The fart cloud goes up through a series of tubes and is captured in a marker. I always crack up at that. Probably because I'm still 12 (in my head) and farts are hilarious to me.

Edited July 19, 2014 by RubyWoo72

[cynicat]

[RubyWoo72]

^^ Thank you, cynicat! That's the one. Enjoy, Cobalt Stargazer.

[Lola16]

State Farm has a commercial with basketball player Chris Paul.  In it, they inform us that he has a twin brother unknown to him who is named Cliff Paul.  You can tell them apart because Cliff is nerdy and wears glasses so he's destined to work in insurance.  According to State Farm, they are both 'born to assist'.

 

 

On May 6, 1985, identical twins were separated at birth. Despite their different upbringings they shared one invaluable trait: they were both born to assist. Chris Paul was destined to become the ultimate team player. Cliff Paul was destined to lead a life of helping others, and that led him to become a State Farm agent.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbRdDhYFGSw

 

The head scratching comes in with the names.  If they are twins separated at birth, why do they have the same last name?  Wouldn't they have their adoptive parents' last name?  Did they both get adopted by families who have the last name Paul?

[Prevailing Wind]

...and is he wearing khakis, like Jake does?

[bilgistic]

State Farm has a commercial with basketball player Chris Paul. In it, they inform us that he has a twin brother unknown to him who is named Cliff Paul. You can tell them apart because Cliff is nerdy and wears glasses so he's destined to work in insurance. According to State Farm, they are both 'born to assist'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbRdDhYFGSw

The head scratching comes in with the names. If they are twins separated at birth, why do they have the same last name? Wouldn't they have their adoptive parents' last name? Did they both get adopted by families who have the last name Paul?

What grabbed me: one of the twins is wearing glasses in the nursery. Newborns don't wear glasses.

[Jamoche]

 Did they both get adopted by families who have the last name Paul?

Given Paul's also a first name, they should've played around with reversing it, though "Paul Chris" doesn't quite work. "Paul Christopher", maybe?

[Lola16]

...and is he wearing khakis, like Jake does?

Of course.  He started wearing them as a toddler and continues.  That also destined him to be an insurance salesman.

[Ubiquitous]

I did not know that about "grumpy cat", nor the existance of "photoshopcat" before now!

ive seen this new ad featuring who appears to be Ben Stein as a cheesy 1990s motivational speaker but am too dumbfounded to remember the rest.

[lottiedottie]

I just saw a Mr. Sketch (the markers) commercial that had a blueberry farting. I just. I don't know. Blueberries don't fart!

[Ubiquitous]

About the self-stopping car, am I the only person on the planet that doesn't want my damn car to do the thinking for me?  I just don't think these self-driving cars are a good idea . . . it's too . . . "Maximum Overdrive" for me.

I keep thinking "You are totally screwed if you're in a 'Walking Dead' scenario! "

There's an ad for a car with one of those side/front/back sensors, and they are, uh, sensing things—straying into another lane, blind spots, etc.—while the driver is completely oblivious. Then the driver in voiceover says something like, "Now I can concentrate on driving." Dude, you need to pay attention all the time.

oh gawd, that ad frightens me a little, watching how clueless he is!

[Katmai]

The first time I saw the Berocca commercial with Joel McHale being a cheesey, pony-tailed spokesperson, I seriously thought it was a skit or faux commercial from The Soup or SNL and not a real one for a real product. I came away having no clue what Berocca really is, nor wanting to know. Fail!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

So there's this new (to me) commercial for beef jerky or something, and this woman is waiting for her flight to take off. The captain's voice comes over the loudspeaker and says, "Sorry, folks, there's been another delay. We're still looking for that wrench." The two people the woman is sitting between make faces, and her stomach starts to growl. Then, an eagle's* head pops out of her stomach, a la Alien, and she feeds it a piece of the jerky from the plastic bag.

 

*I think it was an eagle anyway. I was so horrified by the connection to chestbursters that I couldn't really tell. Are they trying to terrify us into buying their product? WTF?!

[Moose135]

Then, an eagle's* head pops out of her stomach, a la Alien, and she feeds it a piece of the jerky from the plastic bag.

Haven't seen that one, but they have another set in a conference room, where a wolf's head pops out of the guy's stomach for a piece of beef jerky.  I get the same Alien flashback when I see it.

[xls]

Haven't seen that one, but they have another set in a conference room, where a wolf's head pops out of the guy's stomach for a piece of beef jerky.  I get the same Alien flashback when I see it.

Here it is! Kind of disgusting, who the hell comes up with this sh...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N61j0kmBwf8

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT-w9asanho

Edited July 26, 2014 by xls

[The Crazed Spruce]

They replaced the "Messin' with Sasquach" commercials with that?  Yeeesh!

[bref]

The first time I saw the Berocca commercial with Joel McHale being a cheesey, pony-tailed spokesperson, I seriously thought it was a skit or faux commercial from The Soup or SNL and not a real one for a real product. I came away having no clue what Berocca really is, nor wanting to know. Fail!

 

Agreed, and this reminded me of a similar commercial I SWEAR I saw a few weeks ago for a metal TV-dinner type tray. It ran as one of those typical amazing-solution-to-a-not-real-problem ads, and I kept waiting for the punchline, or to find out who was behind the satire. But no, it seemed to be an actual product for actual sale. I scoured google just now trying to find it on one of those "as seen on TV" sites but without any luck. Can anyone confirm that I actually saw this?

[Brattinella]

Gary Busey was, (for those who maybe weren't born yet) in a bad motorcycle accident in 1988.  He was not wearing a helmet, and received life-threatening damage to his head.  In fact, his accident was instrumental in creating new helmet laws.  His facial deformity was caused by the accident, not too bad-looking a guy prior to.

 

[Brattinella]

Well, I'm sort of the "Get off of my lawn" generation, but that one with the kid distracted by the pretty girl gets me irate.  If I were the parent in the car, that would be IT for the driving lessons for a LONG time.  No second chances on that kind of crap.

[bilgistic]

He didn't have to get new equine-sized teeth, though. They come in "human".

Edited July 26, 2014 by bilgistic