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Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

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Metro PCS - The Power of a Period.  Waiting for Brenda Vaccaro to come on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfRSo3dNH1E

I didn't get it when I first saw the commercial.  Kept thinking why is this Metrosexual (is that an intentional nod to the company's name?) kicking a ball into things?  It also looked like he had a permanent wedgie going on.

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There's this Amex commercial with some woman - I guess she's a comedianne - I've never heard of her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4FKuxu1VVY

Carrie Brownstein?  Anyway, it feels like a series of inside jokes that aren't funny.  "I'll take a copy of a copy."  What does that even mean?  Is that funny?  Do I earn membership reward points for it?  Ugh.  It's like when parents try to be cool. 

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I'm sitting here thinking about how those people are going to be all smelly standing next to me on the train.

Edited by Rick Kitchen
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I'm sitting here thinking about how those people are going to be all smelly standing next to me on the train.

That would be what my morning commute was on the #4 train (NYC). That and the people who reeked of raw garlic. Made the morning commute that much more unbearable!

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An annoying comedian, in an annoying commercial, who stars in a completely annoying show. Perfect.

As a former resident of that city, the show pisses me off. Yes, I know this is the commercial thread. Sorry. But her annoyance spills over.

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Ah. I didn't know what her name was until I searched for the link to the spot.  Wonder if the demographics for Portlandia have FICO scores of over 700, 'cause you know, you'll need a high one to get approved.

Suppose I should go subject myself to watch an episode or two.  Can't be worse than Mixology.

Reminds me of the Time Warner Cable commercial where they have some guy who I guess is a football coach - I don't know if he really is one.  How many people know who this dude is?  (OK, before I hit Reply, I went and googled it. Bill Cowher. Retired Pittsburgh Football Coach.  Still I have no clue.  But, what the hell.  It's a commercial shown in NY.  And not just during sports.  I'm getting cranky.  I'm going to go eat a Snickers.)

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We get the two groups of women, one with TJ Maxx bags, one with Marshalls, with a big build up as if you're supposed to expect them to diss each other, and surprise! They just love each other's clothes.

Except I really don't see the major difference in their styles. There's barely even any difference in their color palettes. They're all over-accessorized and wearing spike heels. If I'm supposed to think that hey, I may be a TJ Maxx girl, but Marshalls has some cool stuff too - well, spike heels.

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There's an MLB network promo concerning things that happened on Opening Day, and one line is(paraphrased):  "And a brave first basement stepped out onto Ebbets Field and broke baseball's color barrier."

I thought Jackie Robinson played second base?

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Watching a lot of sports this time of year means that I have seen this 5 Hour Energy commercial like a million times. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvayIrNg8hk

Among other meaningless cliches about FOCUS, it spouts this bit of nonsense:

What is focus? It's keeping your head down, eye on the ball, and knocking it out of the park.

Good luck keeping your head down while also keeping your eye on the ball, bro. Also, I'm pretty sure if you diagram that sentence, the last clause suggests that you're hitting your own head out of the park. Focus is LIFE! 

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Ah. I didn't know what her name was until I searched for the link to the spot.  Wonder if the demographics for Portlandia have FICO scores of over 700, 'cause you know, you'll need a high one to get approved.

Suppose I should go subject myself to watch an episode or two.  Can't be worse than Mixology.

Reminds me of the Time Warner Cable commercial where they have some guy who I guess is a football coach - I don't know if he really is one.  How many people know who this dude is?  (OK, before I hit Reply, I went and googled it. Bill Cowher. Retired Pittsburgh Football Coach.  Still I have no clue.  But, what the hell.  It's a commercial shown in NY.  And not just during sports.  I'm getting cranky.  I'm going to go eat a Snickers.)

 

Cowher is well know for being the coach who replaced Chuck Noll at Pittsburgh but his profile has been raised higher due to his prescence on one of the pregame shows in Sunday mornings.

There's an MLB network promo concerning things that happened on Opening Day, and one line is(paraphrased):  "And a brave first basement stepped out onto Ebbets Field and broke baseball's color barrier."

I thought Jackie Robinson played second base?

He started out playing first base because Branch Rickey thought there would be less chance of his being deliberately injured then if he played second what with players going out of their way to run over him when he was trying to turn the double play. Robinson was deliberately spiked by opposing players a couple of times during his rookie season, but then moved to his natural position at second base.

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Cowher is well know for being the coach who replaced Chuck Noll at Pittsburgh but his profile has been raised higher due to his prescence on one of the pregame shows in Sunday mornings.

I don't follow football.  Only person I could name on the Steelers is Bubby Brister.  And that's because his mom looked like Sylvester Stallone's mom.  And because I was a teen with a crush on dumb ol' Bubby.

There's another coach in a car commercial.  Old white man - guessing it's college basketball.  Again, it's completely lost on me and anyone else who doesn't follow those sports.  Now, you put an NHL or MLB coach on a commercial, and I'll probably know who it is.

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He started out playing first base because Branch Rickey thought there would be less chance of his being deliberately injured then if he played second what with players going out of their way to run over him when he was trying to turn the double play. Robinson was deliberately spiked by opposing players a couple of times during his rookie season, but then moved to his natural position at second base.

Thanks for the info, TheGongOfDoom. Edited by smittykins

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There's an MLB network promo concerning things that happened on Opening Day, and one line is(paraphrased):  "And a brave first basement stepped out onto Ebbets Field and broke baseball's color barrier."

I thought Jackie Robinson played second base?

He played first base his first season because the Dodgers had Eddie Stanky at second.

I don't follow football.  Only person I could name on the Steelers is Bubby Brister.  And that's because his mom looked like Sylvester Stallone's mom.  And because I was a teen with a crush on dumb ol' Bubby.

There's another coach in a car commercial.  Old white man - guessing it's college basketball.  Again, it's completely lost on me and anyone else who doesn't follow those sports.  Now, you put an NHL or MLB coach on a commercial, and I'll probably know who it is.

He isn't a real coach, he's the coach for the Toyota sales team.

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He played first base his first season because the Dodgers had Eddie Stanky at second.

He isn't a real coach, he's the coach for the Toyota sales team.

Before Portlandia, a lot of us older folks knew her from Sleater-Kinney.

Look at me --- learning stuff!  That's what I love about these forums - thanks!

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I guess because I watched basketball all weekend, but I keep seeing the new Sprint commercials for the Framily plan. Not sure what is more odd, the fact that Judy Greer has children with a hamster or that one of them doesn't seem young enough to be her child (though I'm probably not actually doing the math right). Also, I now permanently have the French version of Home Sweet Home stuck in my head. 

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How long until we get a shot of an actual shit in the toilet? 5 years?

I was traumatized enough by the baby ruth in Caddyshack and then again in Jon & Kate plus 8 when she showed the potty training of the kids on TV.

 

That kid is way too old to be telling mom anything about his bathroom habits.

He looks to be 4 or 5.   The kid in the other Clorox potty training commercial is almost as old --- where the kid runs with the pee potty down the hall, splashing it all about.  Maybe these are really subliminal birth control ads?

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Finally saw the Dump Cake ad last night. I still don't quite believe that it isn't an SNL parody. I mean, the entire concept of 'take some random shit that doesn't belong together and mix it into a visually unappealable mess!' is basically the same concept as the Bass-o-matic. And the name! I don't care if these things have been around as long as tuna casseroles, Bisquick Impossible Pies and all the other crap that came out of the '50s/'60s (and honestly, why would any of these tasteless relics need to be revisited?), you can't tell me these people couldn't come up with a more appropriate name in 2014.

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To my horror, IHOP's new breakfast item is "Cinnamon Squirrel".  At least, that's what the announcer said every time I rewound and re-watched the commercial.  

I'm glad for the text that later clarified that it's actually "Cinnamon SWIRL"; too bad they didn't tell the announcer to enunciate!

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It looked like the commercial worked!  You watched it three times at no cost to them.  I think they know more about us than we do!

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My kids used to call it "squirrel" instead of "swirl" when then were little.  So for me, the commercial works either way. lol

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Would anybody mind if the two parts of this thread title were reversed? It took me two readings of the forum listing to realize that this was a general "what we thought we heard" topic, and not a whole thread insanely and forever devoted to an IHOP cinnamon squirrel. :)

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I don't mind - go ahead & change it.

Watching "Jeopardy!", it's easy to recognize who their target demographic is with Aleve for arthritis pain and Sea-Bond denture adhesive...but usually, during commercials, I get up & go do things, like attempt to clean up the kitchen.  One evening, I ran to TV in hot anticipation...they're mentioning Warren Zevon!  How cool is that?!?!??! 

Nope.  Not Zevon.  It was a commercial for the aforementioned Sea-Bond.  Imagine my disappointment.

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 There's a commercial for AARP insurance that's been around for years.  It has various AARP-eligible people at a gas station talking to a disembodied announcer about what the insurance and expressing surprise at what it can do for them ("they'll pay someone to walk my dog?!?").   The thing's been around for years.  AARP has a new ad, but the odd thing is it's the exact same ad.  From what I can tell, they've redone it word for word by with different actors--actors that are physically similar to the original but, to be blunt, worse.  The original was hardly Shakespeare but this new one is so bad it reads like an SNL parody.  I can't fathom why they remade a lame mediocre commercial that had been run into the ground, much less made such a schlocky version.

 

ETA I was finally able to find the new one on Youtube.  The ad agency posted it to tout their work.  I think my favorite is "Did you lawn care?"  

Edited by Maverick

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Because they can't remember the first one, but somehow have a vague memory of it being good?

 

I recall someone suggesting, while we were still looking for Osama, that someone should tell AARP bin Laden's about to turn 50.  They'd find him & mail him a membership packet in a heartbeat.

Edited by Prevailing Wind
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Would anybody mind if the two parts of this thread title were reversed? It took me two readings of the forum listing to realize that this was a general "what we thought we heard" topic, and not a whole thread insanely and forever devoted to an IHOP cinnamon squirrel. :)

But I am VERY into the IHOP cinnamon squirrel, Rinaldo!  Not really, just spaced when doing the title.

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I recall someone suggesting, while we were still looking for Osama, that someone should tell AARP bin Laden's about to turn 50.  They'd find him & mail him a membership packet in a heartbeat.

This.

If that didn't work, we could have told the Humane Society of the United States that he loves animals.  Within three weeks he would've been forced out of hiding when his cave filled up with paper pads and preprinted address labels, all with large-eyed cartoon dogs and cats on them.

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There's a commercial for AARP insurance that's been around for years.  It has various AARP-eligible people at a gas station talking to a disembodied announcer about what the insurance and expressing surprise at what it can do for them

The pièce de résistance is that you can get a free calculator for signing up. Why not just give out an abacus or a slide rule to these "old folks"?

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I recall someone suggesting, while we were still looking for Osama, that someone should tell AARP bin Laden's about to turn 50.  They'd find him & mail him a membership packet in a heartbeat.

If my junk mail is anything to go by, someone could have told them that he was turning 28 and they'd spam the hell out of him.

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Tonight I heard "David's heart attack didn't come with a warning. So now, his doctor has him on a bare-ass regimen to reduce the risk of another."

Oh. A Bayer Aspirin regimen. The other one sounded like more fun, though.

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If I went on a bare-ass regimen, it might give other people heart attacks. Or at least nauseate them. No one needs to see that. 

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There is a commercial for Barilla (dried) pasta claiming it cooks right every time -- "always al dente."  Now, I assume this means if I cook it per the package directions it will turn out al dente, but the actual verbiage suggests I could boil it for half an hour and have it magically turn out right.

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I'm boycotting Barilla, after their CEO made homophobic remarks that he's now desperately trying to walk back.

During a radio interview on Italy’s La Zanzara, Guido Barilla said, “I would never make a spot with a homosexual family. Not out of a lack of respect but because I do not see it like they do. (My idea of) family is a classic family where the woman has a fundamental role.” Barilla cited personal values and a belief system that valued the role of the mother in the family. “Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role. If [gays] don’t like it, they can go eat another brand,” he said, according to a Reuters translation.

All righty, then. But not just the LGBT community, but those who know and love them, their families, or anyone who thinks hate is a bad marketing strategy.

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It's not shown much these days, but the commercial for Aciphex (for acid reflux disease) always sounds like they're saying "Ass effects."  Of which I don't want to know about anyone.  Even me.

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There is a commercial for Barilla (dried) pasta claiming it cooks right every time -- "always al dente."

IIRC, Barilla was the brand whose ads originally only had people saying "al dente" - nothing else, not "always" or even the brand name. I'm sure there were people searching the store for the "al dente" brand.

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That would make a great "nom-de-net" - user id: Al Dente

His comments would be rather biting, wouldn't you say?

Back on topic - there are a couple of AmEx commercials featuring Tina Fey. One has her daughter giving her a yogurt facial and she goes to the store to get more with some still in her hair. Then the licks it off when the cashier notices it. (It sounds so much worse typed out like that.) Gross!

Edited by lachesis
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Really??   I like to take one of the walls out the home of the people behind this product, replace it with a piece of clear glass, have random people come by to observe them and see how 'undisturbed' they are.  Seriously, they think the birds aren't going to notice the humans gawking at them and high tail it out of there?

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