Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[dubbel zout]

There's an ad for a car with one of those side/front/back sensors, and they are, uh, sensing things—straying into another lane, blind spots, etc.—while the driver is completely oblivious. Then the driver in voiceover says something like, "Now I can concentrate on driving." Dude, you need to pay attention all the time.

 

On the other hand, I like the ad for a similar system where the teenage kid is driving with his dad and gets distracted by a pretty girl. The car slams on its brakes because the car in front stopped, and the dad just looks at the kid like, "Yeah, you got lucky this time." (Though the dad was bad to let the kid get so distracted.)

Edited June 19, 2014 by dubbel zout

[Jamoche]

 (Though the dad was bad to let the kid get so distracted.)

And wtf was the dad distracted by, that he didn't see the car up ahead and realize he had to make sure that the kid saw it too? That's the whole point of having to have an adult licensed driver in the car with you when you're still learning!

[riley702]

I thought Dad saw it, but knew the car would stop itself and wanted to teach the kid a lesson.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

 

 

On the other hand, I like the ad for a similar system where the teenage kid is driving with his dad and gets distracted by a pretty girl. The car slams on its brakes because the car in front stopped, and the dad just looks at the kid like, "Yeah, you got lucky this time." (Though the dad was bad to let the kid get so distracted.)

 

I like the first part of that ad, which shows the boy growing up and the Dad having to protect him from things through the years (like getting hit with a bat while some kid tried to break a pinata).

[Jamoche]

I thought Dad saw it, but knew the car would stop itself and wanted to teach the kid a lesson.

It looked like Dad was looking out the right side window, and even if I did have something like that on my car, I'd have some sort of reaction if I saw the backend of another car approaching. Besides, as a teenager, a shouting parent would get my attention a lot more than a self-stopping car.

[riley702]

True, but that would make sense and this ad is touting the self-stopping car, so...

[Aquarius]

About the self-stopping car, am I the only person on the planet that doesn't want my damn car to do the thinking for me?  I just don't think these self-driving cars are a good idea . . . it's too . . . "Maximum Overdrive" for me.

[riley702]

Yeah, what happens when you try to avoid something and the car overrides your input? I remember a plane crash where that happened. They were making a low pass as part of an air show. When they tried to pull up, they couldn't because the "safety feature" on the plane had decided they were so low, they must be landing. By the time they got the plane to obey, it was too late and they went plowing through some trees at the end of the field. Worse yet, the plane was filled with people, many of whom had received free tickets as part of a promotion. Thankfully, only 3 died. They hung the pilot out to dry rather than admit there might be something wrong with the design. He was one of the best pilots in France and he's still trying to clear his name.

 

[Bastet]

About the self-stopping car, am I the only person on the planet that doesn't want my damn car to do the thinking for me?

 

No.  I don't even like cars that automatically lock the doors, so I certainly don't want my car to make driving decisions. 

[Jamoche]

Yeah, what happens when you try to avoid something and the car overrides your input? 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RISKS_Digest is full of stories like that. Goes back to the early days of the Internet, and there's a lot of scary reading on there.

[Bastet]

I think Airbus planes are far too automated, and the thought of a generation of pilots trained only on such systems (e.g. Air France 447) scares the crap out of me - and I say this as someone with a lifetime ease with flying.  We need to stop getting so caught up in what technology can do that we lose sight of the limits on what it should do.

 

This is the line of thinking I go down every time I see an ad for one of these cars that substitutes computerized "thinking" for human decision-making.  I think the two can work hand-in-hand, but the commercials almost universally lead me to fear the driver has been stripped of too much power - dangerous now, but also in the future if people learn to drive by relying on this increasing array of automated systems and thus don't know how to deal in the event of system failure.

[janie jones]

Exactly. it would be okay for an experienced driver, but I don't think someone just learning to drive should get in the habit of not needing to pay attention. "The car will stop for me? Sweet, I'll just check my texts."

[RedZoneTuba]

I guess  I have to go aganist the flow in this discussion.  If I ever feel like we're getting too much driving automation and computer decision-making, I can quickly cure that by going shopping.  Just look around at all the people shopping, talking on their cell phones, letting their kids run wild, blocking the aisle with their cart smack-dab in the middle, etc....and then remember: every single one of these morons drove here and will drive home behind the wheel of a 2000 lb automobile going at a high rate of speed.

 

Shudder.  I'll take my chances with the automated systems any day.

[Stella MD]

Cawowine from E-harmony is back, now with a little friend/brother who's even lispier and has some sort of prepubescent "girlfriend", which I guess we're supposed to find adowable. Here's the head scratcher: creepy Grandpa tells him to wait a few years, see if he and his girlfriend still like each other, then bring her back to E-Harmony to see if they're compatible. WTF? I thought the point of E-Harmony was to meet people - are they saying that established couples are supposed to go on there to see if they're right for each other? Fuck you, Grandpa, we can make our own decisions.

Edited June 21, 2014 by Stella MD

[AltLivia]

There's a commercial, I think for a Life Alert service. No preamble, all you see is the camera moving through the dark, empty house, and an elderly woman screaming "HELP ME!" repeatedly. Cut to:  The woman at the bottom of the stairwell, having fallen, with her laundry spilled all around her.

 

It's just terrifying. I don't presume she's fallen, I assume she's walked in on a burglary in progress and they shoved her or something. It's so draining emotionally. I have to mute it when it comes on, and it's on constantly.

[Ubiquitous]

For you folks smarter than me...why is Sharon Osbourne talking to rabbits and birds in those Atkins commercials? Is she delirious from hunger?

I don't understand why the rabbit is ordering a steak in that ad.

[ramble]

There is a Pantene commercial about women saying I'm sorry too often. I can't decide if it's any good or stupid or really what exactly I think about it. I understand the reflexive I'm sorry. I have that habit as well. I'm not sure they are showing anything better with the smile & interruption or a sorry/not sorry remark. Either way, it in no way makes me consider buying a Pantene product.

http://youtu.be/rzL-vdQ3ObA

[Watcher0363]

That car was awesome, with the dual climate controls and the smooth ride and cushy seat. Now that I'm a middle aged lady, I drive an SUV instead of a luxury sedan. Go figure.)

It is so sad that the SUV has lost all its macho. I remember letting a girlfriend drive my 95 Jeep Grand Cheroke once. Big mistake she fell in love with that car and was always climbing behind the wheel. Me selling it was the begining of the end, at least that's how I tend to remember it.

[Watcher0363]

Sorry for the double post.  This is a pet peeve of mine.  I understand that sometimes a person has to swipe it a bit faster depending on the machine, but it's the big dramatic flourish at the end that gets me.  There's no need to make a big production out of it.

You are not alone. Some times you have to hand your card to a clerk. And when they do one of those fast wild swypes, I have to stop myself from screaming what's your problem. Man my blood pressure just goes through the roof.

[bref]

There's a commercial, I think for a Life Alert service. No preamble, all you see is the camera moving through the dark, empty house, and an elderly woman screaming "HELP ME!" repeatedly. Cut to:  The woman at the bottom of the stairwell, having fallen, with her laundry spilled all around her.

 

It's just terrifying. I don't presume she's fallen, I assume she's walked in on a burglary in progress and they shoved her or something. It's so draining emotionally. I have to mute it when it comes on, and it's on constantly.

SO. MUCH. THIS. That ad is HORRIFYING. Maybe they thought by taking "I've fallen and I can't get up" and ratcheting it up to a thousand that they would sell more units, but nothing makes me change the channel faster. 

[suomi]

There's a commercial, I think for a Life Alert service. No preamble, all you see is the camera moving through the dark, empty house, and an elderly woman screaming "HELP ME!" repeatedly. Cut to: The woman at the bottom of the stairwell, having fallen, with her laundry spilled all around her.

It's just terrifying. I don't presume she's fallen, I assume she's walked in on a burglary in progress and they shoved her or something. It's so draining emotionally. I have to mute it when it comes on, and it's on constantly.

 

SO. MUCH. THIS. That ad is HORRIFYING. Maybe they thought by taking "I've fallen and I can't get up" and ratcheting it up to a thousand that they would sell more units, but nothing makes me change the channel faster.

 

I thought it was the beginning of a promo for L&O/SVU the first time I saw it. She sounds exhausted and horrified, and like she's using the last few breaths in her lungs to call for help. Hate It.

[bilgistic]

There is a Pantene commercial about women saying I'm sorry too often. I can't decide if it's any good or stupid or really what exactly I think about it. I understand the reflexive I'm sorry. I have that habit as well. I'm not sure they are showing anything better with the smile & interruption or a sorry/not sorry remark. Either way, it in no way makes me consider buying a Pantene product.

http://youtu.be/rzL-vdQ3ObA

Being an Old, I irrationally hate it because of the "sorrynotsorry" bit. The commercial would've been more impactful without those internet meme words, in my opinion (sorry, "IMO").

Also, Pantene sucks because they rub their products in bunnies' eyes (test on animals).

[Prevailing Wind]

I'm not sure I understand how those Life Alert things work, anyway.  My mom had one in her 1-bedroom apt.  The unit was out in the living room (where the phone jack was.)  One time, while I was visiting her, she was showing me dresses she might wear to my nephew's wedding.  She held each dress (still on the hanger) up against her to see how it would look.  Apparently, she accidentally bumped the button hanging around her neck, because I heard a voice in the living room calling, "Margaret, are you alright?"  I realized it was the Life Alert person on the other end of the unit & I went over to it & told him it was a false alarm.

 

My mother never heard the voice calling her name.  If I hadn't responded to the question, would they have sent out the Rescue Squad?  And how the hell does that work in a two-storey house?  If you have the unit upstairs, near the bathroom, where most falls occur, HOW would that help the lady at the bottom of the stairs?  She's too far away from the thing.  Old people shouldn't live in two-storey houses, anyway, unless there's an elevator.  It amazes me how many "Over 55 Communities" are building multi-level homes.  Once your knees go, climbing stairs is best left avoided.

[potatoradio]

 

About the self-stopping car, am I the only person on the planet that doesn't want my damn car to do the thinking for me?  I just don't think these self-driving cars are a good idea . . . it's too . . . "Maximum Overdrive" for me

Nope, not alone. I appreciate power windows, A/C and emergency trunk releases as much as anyone, but I drive my car; I am not in a partnership ala Kitt/Michael Knight.

 

But I think it would be great if cars could be designed to figure out whether you were, in fact, a clueless moron as described by RedZoneTuba. As soon as one of the said morons started drifting out of h/her lane because h/she was busy telling h/her little hellion, "honey, stop kicking my seat, I'm talking to someone on the phone," the car would slow down, pull over (obviously, it would know a safe spot), stop, spit out a bus pass from its vents and refuse to go anymore.

 

Then again, I was one of the few people in my chemistry class that appreciated not being allowed a calculator. Prof. decided to do an experiment and we all about died the first day when she announced it. But I realized that, having used calculators for so long, I really had a poor sense of how to estimate and how to gauge whether an answer was within reason. So, I could appreciate the exercise, though I, of course, don't whip out a slide rule at the grocery store.

 

Also, I am probably one of the very few people who loathes Gmail/Drive/Calendar/etc. and hate that I now have to use it at work. That g-d-med BS thinks it knows how to sort and organize my mail better than I do. Really, Google, f*ck off and let me THINK for myself, k tnx!

Edited June 22, 2014 by potatoradio

[Bastet]

I became violently angry when that damn paperclip started showing up in MS Word and trying to talk to me about the format of my document, so I'm definitely not the target audience for a car that will make driving decisions for me.

 

(A warning sound, fine.  Taking over operation of the controls, no.)

[potatoradio]

 

Today. 1:22 pm

I became violently angry when that damn paperclip started showing up in MS Word and trying to talk to me about the format of my document, so I'm definitely not the target audience for a car that will make driving decisions for me.

LMAO. I remember Clipit -- and all the other "characters" you could select to "help" you. And I remember that Clipit inspired murderous rage because it was impossible to figure out how to turn him off. No, you bastard, I am not writing a letter, I'm hacking into MS Word code to figure out how to destroy you.

[Eliot]

Poor Clippy. He was only trying to help.

Edited June 23, 2014 by Eliot

[90PercentGravity]

Ah, the olden days when elitist software engineers assume everyone had the intellect of a brain-damaged toddler. I used to do phone tech support for the cable/internet company. I once had an old lady on the phone who said "I miss that little paper clip thing, now I don't know how to do anything." *sigh*

[ABay]

I give you all:

from NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Stay with it, it takes a minute to get going.

[harrie]

The problem with the Subaru commercial is that they obviously didn't consider that most people don't pay full attention to them. If you're watching from the beginning and getting warm fuzzies from the little girl, you've got the context for the statement. If you're half-listening and suddenly hear "grew up in the back seat", well...

 

It looks like the line about growing up in the back seat caught your attention, and you remembered the product name, Subaru.  For Subaru and their ad agency, that's pretty much a win, especially with viewing habits nowadays. 

I give you all:

from NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Stay with it, it takes a minute to get going.

 

I absolutely love Clippy must die. May even need some Depends to listen to it again.

[Jamoche]

It looks like the line about growing up in the back seat caught your attention, and you remembered the product name, Subaru.  For Subaru and their ad agency, that's pretty much a win, especially with viewing habits nowadays. 

Actually no, I only know it's a Subaru because we're talking about it here, and it's pretty unlikely that next time I need a car, I'll flash back to ptv discussions :)

[Aquarius]

I give you all:

from NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Stay with it, it takes a minute to get going.

 

Oh my word, so glad I did!!  "It looks like you're digging a grave.  Is it a personal grave or a business grave?"  LOL!

[Aquarius]

If you have the unit upstairs, near the bathroom, where most falls occur, HOW would that help the lady at the bottom of the stairs?  She's too far away from the thing. 

 

It monitors your movements and when it "senses" a fall, someone calls you.  If you don't answer, I guess it sends out the National Guard or something.  Which leads me to believe, what if you just drop it and don't know it, and don't hear the voice from upstairs?  Or what if you're getting busy and throw it aside and don't answer the call? 

 

I think it's for LifeAlert, but there's one that starts with a series of graphics of people falling down and the narration, "A trip.  A misstep.  A loss of balance.  It's just a matter of time.  At some point you are going to fall."  I really resent that implication.

Edited June 24, 2014 by Aquarius

[Portia]

If you don't answer, I guess it sends out the National Guard or something. 

Not right away, no. My late father had one of these for a few years. The company asked us to provide a list of emergency contact people, including at least one near neighbor. Since all his kids were more than an hour away, first on Daddy's list was his pastor, who lived one block away, and second was a cousin (retired nurse) who lived across town. We made sure they had keys to his house. If Dad had set off the alarm and not answered the operator, they would have called the pastor and/or cousin and asked them to run and check on him. I think they followed a protocol as to how much time they'd let elapse before they contacted emergency services if they couldn't get reassurance that he was okay. I'm sure EMS workers would break down the door if they couldn't get in and really thought he were in distress. (Dad might have had to pay for the door, but it'd be a small price to pay if they saved his life, right?)

 

Once he got used to his Life Alert, Dad's generally only went off accidentally when he rolled over in bed, and the base unit was near his bed, so he was always able to hear them calling him and tell them he was fine. He had 3-story house with a big footprint, but the speaker was pretty loud, and he could hear the operator anywhere on the main floor. (Granted, my father had good hearing for an elderly person, but I think this product presupposes that the consumer must have hearing in the normal range.) Because of his  mobility problems Dad lived exclusively on the main floor of his house, but I'm thinking he could have paid for more thanb one base unit if he'd needed it. 

[Saint TV]

Thank you for that. I'm still wiping away the tears.

[janie jones]

When I was a kid I liked to set it to the puppy version of Clippy so I could have a puppy running around.  The puppy was much less annoying.

[riley702]

I liked the kitty myself.

[Rick Kitchen]

"I started using Lysol spray as long as I can remember."  I can't parse that sentence, can anyone?

[RedZoneTuba]

"I started using Lysol spray as long as I can remember."  I can't parse that sentence, can anyone?

I think it means you started a long time ago but never finished starting?  That must be one enormous can of Lysol, and one very foggy and smelly house by now.

[EighteenTwelve]

There's an ad for a stove in which the narrator is enraptured (in a very French accent) over the fact that you can cook your salmon and your creme brulee in the same oven at the same time, but at different temperatures.  And all I can ever think when I see that ad is "So you can make creme brulee that smells like salmon.  What kind of selling point is that?"

[Rick Kitchen]

There's an ad for a stove in which the narrator is enraptured (in a very French accent) over the fact that you can cook your salmon and your creme brulee in the same oven at the same time, but at different temperatures.  And all I can ever think when I see that ad is "So you can make creme brulee that smells like salmon.  What kind of selling point is that?"

 

Oh, thank you, I thought the exact same thing.

[Eliot]

SO. MUCH. THIS. That ad is HORRIFYING. Maybe they thought by taking "I've fallen and I can't get up" and ratcheting it up to a thousand that they would sell more units, but nothing makes me change the channel faster. 

 

I thought it was the beginning of a promo for L&O/SVU the first time I saw it. She sounds exhausted and horrified, and like she's using the last few breaths in her lungs to call for help. Hate It.

 

The disturbing thing to me about the most recent LifeAlert commercial I've seen is that the woman who has fallen and can't get up looks significantly younger than the last woman who used to utter that line. The new woman looks to be about my age. Gulp.

 

I assume they're doing it to instill fear in the hearts of single women who live alone. If so, it is working.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

What does Carmina Burana have to do with eating Hershey's products?

[riley702]

What does Carmina Burana have to do with eating Hershey's products?

I can't listen to that without thinking of this (that poor octopus):

 

Edited June 26, 2014 by riley702

[Rinaldo]

Basically, people who make commercials think that there are only three pieces of classical music: Eine kleine Nachtmusik (to show that it's a really classy cocktail party), Also sprach Zarathustra (for that fall-to-your-knees 2001 touch), and "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana (for everything else).

[Prevailing Wind]

Once I saw a McDonald's breakfast commercial that used one of the Liszt Hungarian Rhapsodies.  It was brilliant.  Never saw it again.  Probably too smart for TV.  Or McDonald's.

[EighteenTwelve]

 

Basically, people who make commercials think that there are only three pieces of classical music: Eine kleine Nachtmusik (to show that it's a really classy cocktail party), Also sprach Zarathustra (for that fall-to-your-knees 2001 touch), and "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana (for everything else).

 

And the Flower Duet from Lakme, to show that whatever the ad is for, it's really good stuff and the real world will disappear if you use or eat it.

[Actionmage]

Or Debussy's  Clair De Lune, supposing that they can't get Flower Duet, to show how upscale/pretty/classy the product is. (I will forever remember it as the Fountain Scene music from Ocean's Eleven.)

[heebiejeebie]

Does anyone crave a cheetos after seeing it shot at a sweating woman's ass in too tight sweatpants.   If the answer is yes, I meant the question to be rhetorical.

 

I guess it is better than the prior ad in that campaign. Where the airplane passenger stuffs some up the nose of her snoring seatmate.  Yummy.  

 

The new "our iconic product so undersells we added new colors and shapes" is toned down somewhat but I still think the people at Cheetos lost their collective minds about three ad cycles back and only found one to share between them all.

[friendperidot]

Is Guiliana of Guiliana and Bill fame (not really to me, I don't know who they are) from somewhere other than the US? If so, that may explain why she would prefer to buy new furniture to celebrate Independence Day than a bar-b-cue and fireworks. I can see taking advantage of Independence Day sales, but not instead of.

 

Adding that I do realize the ad was written that way, but it's down right "un'murican".

Edited June 27, 2014 by friendperidot