Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[Sandman87]

More cats for me!

Is that you Alf?

[proserpina65]

I've never been able to figure out that drone ad. It's creepy as hell.

Awww, I love that commercial.  It's an obvious hommage to The Birds.  Wouldn't make me want to buy the car, but still . . .

[bubbls]

That drone commercial makes no sense to me at all. That makes it seem too long so I tune out before I've ever been able to figure it out. The people who panic and ruin it for everyone also get on my nerves. I keep hoping someone will trip them so everyone else can get away.

[bilgistic]

This evening, I heard a radio commercial that featured Florida Georgia Line [sic, because there should be a hyphen between the states], and they were talking about drinking "douche on". I had no idea what they were talking about.

Those two clowns in the band blathered on to each other about douche on(?) for what seemed like five minutes, and finally, I understood when a female voiceover said "Mountain Dew DEW SHINE...finally legal!" (Have people been making backwoods moonshine containing with Mountain Dew?)

Not that Florida Georgia Line talking about "douche on" wouldn't be apropos, because they are pretty big douches.

[pandora spocks]

Not that Florida Georgia Line talking about "douche on" wouldn't be apropos, because they are pretty big douches.

 

I thought douche on, douche off was an homage to Mr. Miyagi's wax on, wax off.  Then I wondered what male country performers would be doing talking about feminine hygiene products. What I thought was an homage to a 1980's classic turned out to be just hicks with enunciation challenges.

[bilgistic]

The commercial was so long, too. One of them kept telling the other that he stole the "douche on" the first had hidden in various places--and they painstakingly named each place.

"Guitar case?"

"No, I took your douche on from there!"

"What about the douche on in my dressing room?"

"Took your douche on from there, too!"

"Did you take the douche on I hid on the tour bus?"

"Grabbed it from there, too, duuude!"

Me, angrily yelling at the radio: "What the fuck is DOUCHE ON?!?"

[Sandman87]

This evening, I heard a radio commercial that featured Florida Georgia Line [sic, because there should be a hyphen between the states], and they were talking about drinking "douche on".

Before you got to the part where you explained what it is, I thought it was going to be for some beverage with a pretentious European-esque name, like "Duchon."

[Maverick]

Before you got to the part where you explained what it is, I thought it was going to be for some beverage with a pretentious European-esque name, like "Duchon."

Reminds me of one of my favorite ads. Guy is interviewing for a job and is going on about " Mr. Dumbass, I'm you're knda guy...I'd be great for your Dumbass company.". After he finishes the guy calmly replies "the name is Dumas".

[bilgistic]

Before you got to the part where you explained what it is, I thought it was going to be for some beverage with a pretentious European-esque name, like "Duchon."

To continue to rag on Florida Georgia Line, they are many things, but pretentious is not one of them. Bless their hearts, as we politely say in the South.

[bilgistic]

I just checked if there is a video, and no dice. There's a ridiculous commercial showing bearded "rebel" moonshiners making Mountain Dew Shine in a shack in the woods, and not, you know, in a giant factory owned by a beverage conglomerate.

Reminds me of one of my favorite ads. Guy is interviewing for a job and is going on about " Mr. Dumbass, I'm you're knda guy...I'd be great for your Dumbass company.". After he finishes the guy calmly replies "the name is Dumas".

My sister and I still call each other or ourselves "Dumass" (doo-mas), and that commercial is probably 20 years old. Edited June 6, 2015 by bilgistic

[CarpeDiem54]

My guestion is - what the hell is Mountain Dew Shine? I've never liked Mountain Dew as it always tasted like highly caffeinated cat pee. Not that I drink cat pee, mind you. So this new stuff is what? Something that tastes like rot gut cat pee brewed in a Deliverance backyard by toothless yahoos?

[bilgistic]

Ha ha! It's "clear with a shot of citrus", if I recall correctly.

So...7Up?

Speaking of toothless yokels, I just remembered that when I was in high school, the boys would spit their chewing tobacco drool into empty Mountain Dew bottles. In class. Mind you, this was 20-plus years ago.

Edited June 6, 2015 by bilgistic

[Maverick]

I don't know what the commercial is for (Lowe's or Home Depot, maybe?), but it begins with a voiceover saying "Do-ers" and I swear I heard "Dewer's" and I don't even drink.

Now I have a vision of Angus working the paint counter while his fur coat-clad wife/girlfriend/mistress yells at him. " Do you really think that looks like Sunshine Day Angus dear?"

[backformore]

I keep seeing one commercial that confuses me -  Its  for Scotts or some other lawn care stuff.  Two neighbors, one doing some lawn care maintenance, a hedge between them.  One compliments the other's  lawn, and the response is "well, the grass is always greener..."   Then turns around, stops midsentence and says "sorry".

 

WHY?

[sofaslug]

I keep seeing one commercial that confuses me - Its for Scotts or some other lawn care stuff. Two neighbors, one doing some lawn care maintenance, a hedge between them. One compliments the other's lawn, and the response is "well, the grass is always greener..." Then turns around, stops midsentence and says "sorry".

WHY?

I think it's because the other guy's grass isn't greener.

[ABay]

Yes. The guy with the greener lawn stops because he realizes he's just rubbing it in how much greener his lawn is than his neighbor's on the other side of the fence/hedge.

[Muffyn]

The commercial was so long, too. One of them kept telling the other that he stole the "douche on" the first had hidden in various places--and they painstakingly named each place.

"Guitar case?"

"No, I took your douche on from there!"

"What about the douche on in my dressing room?"

"Took your douche on from there, too!"

"Did you take the douche on I hid on the tour bus?"

"Grabbed it from there, too, duuude!"

Me, angrily yelling at the radio: "What the fuck is DOUCHE ON?!?"

Now you know your question should be "What the fuck is that douche on that he can't pronounce Dew Shine?"

[Duke2801]

Actually, I'd like that sink feature on a washing machine. I used to have a laundry room sink and used it quite a lot for soaking, handwashing, etc.

Are those stupid, panicking people supposed to be a real couple? I have no idea who they are. Regardless, they are shitty parents. How does giving a soaking wet stuffed toy to a kid better than just letting the screaming kid play with the bunny with juice on it? Lord knows (but not these dumbass parents, apparently) that the bunny will more than likely have pee, puke and other grotesque horrors on it in its lifetime. A little juice is the least of their worries. Morons.

 

I mean, they've both been in plenty of other commercials together and it's pretty clear from reading these posts, that yes, they are a real couple.  They're actually pretty adorable and awesome together.

 

I don't see how they are "morons" for trying to clean off the kid's stuffed animal. Like, they're trying their best to appease their kid and it's presented in a humorous way.  I don't get the disdain. 

[janie jones]

I think it's because some people believe children should not be appeased, but rather taught that sometimes your lamb gets juice on it and you either need to learn not to squirt juice on it or learn to wash it off yourself without panicking.

Edited June 8, 2015 by janie jones

[CoderLady]

It's the start to finish panicky responses that send them over the border into moron land for me. If they'd just been saying "Ha ha, look at what our precious little crotchfruit has done to her favorite toy. Rinse it off so we can give it back before she pitches a bitch. Oops, too late. Oh, well..." I could have been able to pay more attention to the product being sold. As it is I barely remember because of all the drama, running and screaming. Ad failure.

Edited June 8, 2015 by CoderLady

[cpcathy]

I will now commence using the word "crotchfruit" as much as I can.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

precious little crotchfruit

 

This is an amazing turn of phrase.

[CoderLady]

Heh. It's not original, but I don't remember where I saw it first. And I had the same reaction -- must use it as often as possible!

[Snow Apple]

I don't understand the commercial with the figure skater. Did she just grow up, retire, and now starting a family or did she get pregnant and had to give up her skating dreams (because she looks sad and alone while pregnant) which is what the voice over mean by "dreams evolve?"  iz confused.

 

eta: Forgot to say it's for American Family Insurance.

Edited June 8, 2015 by Snow Apple

[CarpeDiem54]

Crotchfruit for the win! Bawahahaha!

[Bastet]

Wow, according to Wiki, there are internet citations of "crotch fruit" going back to 1999.  I've heard it for years, but not that long!

 

(I fear what sort of ads are going to show up now that I've conducted this search.)

Edited June 8, 2015 by Bastet

[editorgrrl]

This evening, I heard a radio commercial that featured Florida Georgia Line [sic, because there should be a hyphen between the states], and they were talking about drinking "douche on". I had no idea what they were talking about.

Those two clowns in the band blathered on to each other about douche on(?) for what seemed like five minutes, and finally, I understood when a female voiceover said "Mountain Dew DEW SHINE...finally legal!"

Still haven't seen the commercial, but I bought a Dewshine today just because of this post. The label says "non-alcoholic clear citrus flavored Dew made with real sugar" and "it'll tickle yore [sic] innards!"

I like it! It comes in a clear glass bottle (12 oz./355ml) with a crimped cap. Tastes a lot like my beloved Foxon Park Gassosa, which calls itself a "classic Italian lemon-lime soda." But Dewshine has caffeine—54mg/12 fl. oz.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I don't understand the commercial with the figure skater. Did she just grow up, retire, and now starting a family or did she get pregnant and had to give up her skating dreams (because she looks sad and alone while pregnant) which is what the voice over mean by "dreams evolve?"  iz confused.

 

eta: Forgot to say it's for American Family Insurance.

 

That reminds me -

 

There's this other ad for some kind of contraceptive device, and a woman in her early twenties is playing an electric guitar. She turns to the camera and says, "I've got big plans, and right now, this is my baby. So its not the right time to get pregnant."

 

Now, I get that she means she's focused on her career, so she isn't ready for a family yet, and as a strong proponent of people not making crotchfruit when they're not prepared to be responsible for them, I'm all for that. But it seems like a weird way to put it that the guitar is her baby. Like, couldn't she just say she's concentrating on establishing herself as a musician? I realize this is a nitpick, but there you go.

[Rick Kitchen]

There's an ad for Re/Max realtors that starts off, "You dreamed of a condo next to the train tracks..."

 

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

[AntiBeeSpray]

There's an ad for Re/Max realtors that starts off, "You dreamed of a condo next to the train tracks..."

 

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

 

O_o Not me, that's for sure.

[riley702]

That reminds me -

 

There's this other ad for some kind of contraceptive device, and a woman in her early twenties is playing an electric guitar. She turns to the camera and says, "I've got big plans, and right now, this is my baby. So its not the right time to get pregnant."

 

Now, I get that she means she's focused on her career, so she isn't ready for a family yet, and as a strong proponent of people not making crotchfruit when they're not prepared to be responsible for them, I'm all for that. But it seems like a weird way to put it that the guitar is her baby. Like, couldn't she just say she's concentrating on establishing herself as a musician? I realize this is a nitpick, but there you go.

Eh, referring to something as "your baby" is a fairly common turn of phrase. It's the whole reason someone dreamed up the ad where a guy's car is literally his baby. A big, big baby. I think it's cute. It's just another way of saying this is something that you're spending a lot of time and  attention on right now.

Edited June 9, 2015 by riley702

[Sandman87]

precious little crotchfruit

Come here for the discussion; stay for the colorful additions to your vocabulary.

 

Also, "crotchfruit" could be taken to mean other things out of context. Like something that requires medical treatment.

[CarpeDiem54]

From here on out, birth control needs to be referred to as "not making crotchfruit".

That word cracks me up sooo much.

[Bastet]

Also, "crotchfruit" could be taken to mean other things out of context. Like something that requires medical treatment.

 

Only if moderate to severe.

[editorgrrl]

There's an ad for Re/Max realtors that starts off, "You dreamed of a condo next to the train tracks..."

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

Someone who commutes almost 2 hours each way by train every day?

[DrSpaceman]

The Toyata Camry is the best selling car in america. 

 

And their add campaign centers around calling it a "bold" choice?  Really, 300000 other people in this country each year buy that same car, and you call that a bold choice? 

I don't get this commercial, what do all those drones have to do with the car?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcV71liAMwc

 

 

I always assumed this was supposed to be a spoof of the Hitchcock classic The Birds.  The Drones are the birds.  Its is San Francisco, trying to escape from the drones in his car. 

 

I am not saying its a good idea or commerical, but I think that was the angle

[Duke2801]

I think it's because some people believe children should not be appeased, but rather taught that sometimes your lamb gets juice on it and you either need to learn not to squirt juice on it or learn to wash it off yourself without panicking.

 

The children in question are both under 2, so I don't think either of these are viable options. 

 

It's the start to finish panicky responses that send them over the border into moron land for me. If they'd just been saying "Ha ha, look at what our precious little crotchfruit has done to her favorite toy. Rinse it off so we can give it back before she pitches a bitch. Oops, too late. Oh, well..." I could have been able to pay more attention to the product being sold. As it is I barely remember because of all the drama, running and screaming. Ad failure.

 

 

It's hyperbole done for comedic affect.  It might be a "fail" for you, but it doesn't mean it's a failure overall. I got the point of the ad just fine and thought it was clever.  YMMV.  Clearly. 

[janie jones]

The children in question are both under 2, so I don't think either of these are viable options.

When a child is that young, not panicking yourself when dealing with the situation constitutes teaching the child not to panic.  But do they even show the children in this particular commercial?  Maybe I've only seen a shortened version, but I'm certain they don't.

 

There's an ad for Re/Max realtors that starts off, "You dreamed of a condo next to the train tracks..."

 

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

I took it to mean "near public transportation." 

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Also, "crotchfruit" could be taken to mean other things out of context. Like something that requires medical treatment.

You may want to consider substituting the related term "loinfruit".

[90PercentGravity]

There is a VW commercial where a guy is driving around a bunch of old ladies and one lady says "Why do we have to buckle up? The pickup stinks with diesel." What does one thing have to do with the other? And what pickup is she talking about? They're in a car. 

[Moose135]

There is a VW commercial where a guy is driving around a bunch of old ladies and one lady says "Why do we have to buckle up? The pickup stinks with diesel." What does one thing have to do with the other? And what pickup is she talking about? They're in a car. 

 

"Pickup" as in how well (and quickly) it accelerates when you mash the gas.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

I took it to mean "near public transportation." 

 

 

But the ad shows the condo overlooking the railroad tracks and then has the building slide backwards so it's not quite as close.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

Somebody who can sleep through anything and doesn't have any kids or pets, especially if they like trains or are looking for a cheap price.

[revbfc]

What angers me about the Symbicort ad posted below is that it seems to imply that grandpa is a murderer. All those breathing problems got in the way of indulging in his Manson-esque pig slaughters. His life was a shell without fulfilling his purpose. Symbicort solved all of that.

Edited June 10, 2015 by revbfc

[90PercentGravity]

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

 

Does Peter Dinklage in Station Agent count?

[Rick Kitchen]

There is some ad where they're telling us to get whooping cough vaccinations so we can't pass it on to children, and they show Grandma who suddenly starts coughing and turns into a wolf.  Is she supposed to be the Big Bad Wolf, or just somebody whose cough reminded somebody of a wolf's howl?

[Sandman87]

"Grandma! What big Bordetella pertussis you have!"

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

The Toyata Camry is the best selling car in america.

And their add campaign centers around calling it a "bold" choice?

 

the car guys agree with you and mock all Camry buyers as driving "appliances"

[pandora spocks]

There is some ad where they're telling us to get whooping cough vaccinations so we can't pass it on to children, and they show Grandma who suddenly starts coughing and turns into a wolf.  Is she supposed to be the Big Bad Wolf, or just somebody whose cough reminded somebody of a wolf's howl?

 

She and Symbicort Grandpa could be the new respiratory dysfunction power couple

[St. Claire]

There's an ad for Re/Max realtors that starts off, "You dreamed of a condo next to the train tracks..."

Who, in their right mind, wants to live next to the train tracks?

 

If this is the commercial I"m thinking of, the voiceover was "...a condo near the train tracks," followed by a distinction between "near" and "next to." Which I accept- you may see something described as NEAR the train or airport when it is actually so darned close that the planes and trains rattle your home.