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19 Parodies and Counting: The Goofy Thread

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I have a confession to make: I have a denim skirt, well actually  it's a skort and it's above the knees. (NIKE!) Ummm can I wear it or should I sew a panel on the bottom?

 

Did you say "skort?" Sorry. You'll need to wear a long skirt over that.

 

Also -- apparently you weren't paying attention in the JTTH nondefrauding couture seminar. See Mr. Gothard in his office.

Edited by Churchhoney
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"Countenance", Cherrio. COUN-TE-NANCE. You know... Like PER-PEN-DI-CU-LAR.

And yes, Dill, I believe prairie dresses would be appropriate but you have to do that perm thing BEFORE you leave or you'll stink up the bus even worse. Please remember the leggings UNDER the prairie dress. Bonus points if you can locate your blouse with the ENORMOUS square collar. (You may have to launder if you've worn it recently...hehe)

Ok, ok......I promise to "porpoise" myself to remember countenance.     

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And yes, Dill, I believe prairie dresses would be appropriate but you have to do that perm thing BEFORE you leave or you'll stink up the bus even worse. Please remember the leggings UNDER the prairie dress. Bonus points if you can locate your blouse with the ENORMOUS square collar. (You may have to launder if you've worn it recently...hehe)

Should i purpose to match my leggings with my prairie dresses? I'm a dirty heathen from new york, so you'll have to forgive me.

do you think Mechelle will be upset if i make some cake milkshakes to go with the dill pickles :)?

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Should i purpose to match my leggings with my prairie dresses? I'm a dirty heathen from new york, so you'll have to forgive me.

do you think Mechelle will be upset if i make some cake milkshakes to go with the dill pickles :)?

I have a lead stomach, and can't even THINK how to respond to cake milkshakes and dill pickles in the same sentence. Are you pregnant?

Also, I think it's actually more acceptable if the leggings DO NOT match the dress. If the dress is an "official" Duggarish prairie ensemble, and reaches the ankles, you probably can forego the leggings as long as you don't flop your legs over your head like Josie. Did you find the blouse with the lovely pointy collar out to your shoulders? I've just had official word from Mr. Gothard: you may leave the leggings off IF you find (and wear) the blouse.

I really shouldn't make fun of the blouses; in the 80's, that was pretty chic. (Along with crunchy hair, and I had that going on too!)

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I have a lead stomach, and can't even THINK how to respond to cake milkshakes and dill pickles in the same sentence. Are you pregnant?

Also, I think it's actually more acceptable if the leggings DO NOT match the dress. If the dress is an "official" Duggarish prairie ensemble, and reaches the ankles, you probably can forego the leggings as long as you don't flop your legs over your head like Josie. Did you find the blouse with the lovely pointy collar out to your shoulders? I've just had official word from Mr. Gothard: you may leave the leggings off IF you find (and wear) the blouse.

I really shouldn't make fun of the blouses; in the 80's, that was pretty chic. (Along with crunchy hair, and I had that going on too!)

I think i should wear the leggings, because you never know when a gust of wind might try and defraud all of the God fearing men in the room.

I'm confused, do i wear the blouse, smock and prairie dress at the same time?

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Don't forget to buy a bunch of long sleeve blouses in the same color, or the color matches the shirt your husband may be wearing.

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I'm divorced. So I don't ever have to worry about anybody ever loving me again. :)

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I think i should wear the leggings, because you never know when a gust of wind might try and defraud all of the God fearing men in the room.

I'm confused, do i wear the blouse, smock and prairie dress at the same time? 

Yes at the TTH all those for sleeping purposes are required!

That reminds me, i have to find a husband.

I shall put a call into Kelly Bates that woman is gifted in finding husbands for her girls!

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I think i should wear the leggings, because you never know when a gust of wind might try and defraud all of the God fearing men in the room.

I'm confused, do i wear the blouse, smock and prairie dress at the same time?

 

Wear as many things at the same time as possible.

 

Don't wear any clothing made out of printed materials, though, especially the leggings, or the blouses. Printed materials are "eye traps," so you'd be defrauding poor helpless men no matter how many other layers you had on.  (I swear that this "prints are eye traps" thing is in the ATI materials somewhere.

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If you find Mr. Godly Right, please remind the rest of us of how he is totally amazing, special, season of life blessing part of your life now in a giggly teenage girl voice while you paint your nails with a smug look on your face.

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I have a confession to make: I have a denim skirt, well actually  it's a skort and it's above the knees. (NIKE!) Ummm can I wear it or should I sew a panel on the bottom?

Oh my, I have two of those. (Why? Damned if I know.) See you in hell! :-)

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Oh my, I have two of those. (Why? Damned if I know.) See you in hell! :-)

I just bought one over the weekend, I guess you need to make room in hell for me too.
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If you find Mr. Godly Right, please remind the rest of us of how he is totally amazing, special, season of life blessing part of your life now in a giggly teenage girl voice while you paint your nails with a smug look on your face.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, i have to be inpregnanated the same day i give my husband my.... hmmm, 19th kiss?

(I haven't been keeping it very sweet)

I shall put a call into Kelly Bates that woman is gifted in finding husbands for her girls!

Momma, imma land me a chad!

Jim Bob please stay away.

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 and frame your counter top or whatever the hell they call it

:)

Thank goodness I wasn't drinking anything when I read this!

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If you find Mr. Godly Right, please remind the rest of us of how he is totally amazing, special, season of life blessing part of your life now in a giggly teenage girl voice while you paint your nails with a smug look on your face.

Don't forget to stare lovingly with a glazed over look with your heavily made up incountinance.          

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And don't forget to interrupt him while he is trying to say something and keep saying his first and last name when you talk about him.

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And always remember: pre-marriage, brief side hugs only. Post-marriage, public humping at any given moment in time, esp. if there are cameras present. (Modesty)

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You all have such good advice! I bet I'll be a baby makin', public humpin', bible thumpin' Dill Pickle Duggar in no time! Just let me get some flip flops. (Or, feet thong, if you're kinky)

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Aaaaaaaaaaaand, i have to be inpregnanated the same day i give my husband my.... hmmm, 19th kiss?

(I haven't been keeping it very sweet)

Momma, imma land me a chad!

Jim Bob please stay away.

Ooo, yeah!

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Yesterday, I actually hoofed my way through that God-awful Duggar thing where they were building the house.  (PER-PEN-DIC-U-LAR).  No idea why, but I did it.  Something smacked me on the way by, but I didn't stop it or really believe I'd SEEN it, and that nobody else had mentioned it.  Far into this clip, they're talking about the buddies and jurisdictions, etc., and there's a clip of Jana feeding a baby.  Am I SERIOUSLY the only person who caught this???  I didn't really, but there was SOMETHING about this scene that bothered me.  So here it is, like that kids magazine in a doctor's office:  WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???
 
https://www.dropbox.com/sc/bx6duxtn56cd2vk/AAACz8fR3onp513wZgZqn54Ca

 

This.just.BLOWS.MY.MIND.

 

On the other hand, I'm a relative newbie and you probably discussed this to death before I was around.  If so, sorry.  If not, ENJOY!!!

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It's canned peas, not baby food. Straight from the can, not heated up, too. Canned peas are gross enough, but cold canned peas is most likely worse.

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Maybe I made more of it than I should have. I never considered myself a model parent...but I haven't EVER (TO THIS DAY!) fed anybody (much less a BABY) canned anything - straight from the CAN!!!

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The canned peas look just like the "container" my mother used for our vegetables.  Red meat (because my father demanded it) , salad consisting of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onion, and a can, yes a can of vegetables, drained, and can on table.  We have come to the conclusion that she spent most of her life clinically depressed and didn't even like (or eat) most of what she served.  So I am happy with peas straight from the can, as long as they are room temp.  And beets, and corn and green beans...well, you get the idea.  As soon as I got married I banned cans on the table.  

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It's canned peas, not baby food. Straight from the can, not heated up, too. Canned peas are gross enough, but cold canned peas is most likely worse.

Yeah,  I noticed that too!  Probably because it was a vegetable it was deemed healthy!  Perhaps if the Duggars had any kind of a clue about proper nurtrition they wouldn't have to coat their countenance in so much acne hiding makeup! 

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t7z5ea.jpg

Please tell me one of the Bates kids is named Norman because then they can have him manage a Christian motel in the middle of nowhere. (They would get confused customers thinking one type of theme motel and get another and NOT give refunds). Bates and Switch.

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Woohoo don't be jealous now but it's wear your denim skort to Oakbrook, IL day at our house!!!! IF I'm lucky I will run into TFDW while at the Blackhawks store there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'm crying tears of joy just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by Fuzzysox
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Maybe I made more of it than I should have. I never considered myself a model parent...but I haven't EVER (TO THIS DAY!) fed anybody (much less a BABY) canned anything - straight from the CAN!!!

I never have, either. I am just as shocked as you are. It would never occur to me to feed a baby straight out of a can.

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I never have, either. I am just as shocked as you are. It would never occur to me to feed a baby straight out of a can.

I wonder how many choking incidents there have been.

 

Mother of the Year, my ass.    Mother of the Rear is more like it.

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cmr2014, on 16 Jun 2015 - 9:37 PM, said:

When I was very very little (4-5), I occasionally had a nightmare where I was being chased by a man in a mask wearing a black cape (a bit like the Hamburgler). I mention this because we are hard-wired to want to be able to tell the good guys from the bad guys. We want to believe that we could identify a child molester (e.g. creepy guy in raincoat hanging around the park), but we really can't.

* * * * * *

 

I copied this from an excellent post by cmr2014 just a bit ago on another thread, and it's not funny.  But it reminds me of something (because everything reminds me of something...)

 

I was in a Bible study group with a bunch of young marrieds like myself in the early 70's.  One night, during a very serious sharing time in the group, we were talking about things that frightened us.  Frightened us as children, frightened us as adults.  Scary, scary world.  This one guy starts talking, and he's sharing from his heart (almost crying, really) about the "cardboard monster" he was afraid of as a child.  The cardboard monster (his description) was this huge round piece of cardboard on a stick, and it comes to life.  (I pictured a huge round flat lollipop.  On a stick).  It gets flat up against the house, and it slides under windows and GETS little children in their SLEEP!!!  He was TERRIFIED of the cardboard monster.

 

Of course, because we were a serious and caring group, we all sat there looking at his stricken face and there was total stunned silence for about 30 seconds.  And then... simultaneously ALL burst into hysterical laughter.  I laughed so hard, I hurt myself!!!  People were doubled over, crying with laughter.  He never cracked a smile.  I'm not sure he ever came back to sharing time, either though.  Oopsie!

Edited by Happyfatchick
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Happyfatchick, as a very young child (about 3-6) I was terrified to go to sleep because I would see huge hamburgers, the size of a large blanket, crawling up my walls to the ceiling. They weren't even after me, but I was so scared I would see them that I left the light on until I fell asleep. Maybe something about the shape makes it a common night terror? It seems silly now, but I was terribly frightened. I forgot about that until I read your post. OK, so now you can laugh! :)

(Maybe should be in Small Talk thread?)

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Gary Busey would play John David in my movie.

My choice for John David would be Billy Bob Thornton in his Sling Blade character. Also, if Haley Joel Osment is playing Josh, the big scene will be when he says, "I touch young people."

Edited by MarkySnark
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My choice for John David would be Billy Bob Thornton in his Sling Blade character. Also, if Haley Joel Osment is playing Josh, the big scene will be when he says, "I touch young people."

Maggie Gyllenhaal for Me-chelle. No aspersions to Ms. Gyllenhaal, but she tends to wear dowdy clothes.

Adrian Brody us too old to play Derrick, but perhaps an up & coming actor with his build/looks.

And those two fame whores from some scripted realiry show. I can't remember their names, but they're married. She's Heidi or Holly & has had like 9 plastic surgeries in one day b4 she was 25. They can be Ben & Jessa.

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you mean Heidi and Spencer???

Bwhahahhaaa I can;t stop laughing thinking about Heidi being all Christain all while carting around her big fake boobs.

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Happyfatchick, as a very young child (about 3-6) I was terrified to go to sleep because I would see huge hamburgers, the size of a large blanket, crawling up my walls to the ceiling. They weren't even after me, but I was so scared I would see them that I left the light on until I fell asleep. Maybe something about the shape makes it a common night terror? It seems silly now, but I was terribly frightened. I forgot about that until I read your post. OK, so now you can laugh! :)

(Maybe should be in Small Talk thread?)

Some of my earliest memories/nightmares were of Prairie Dawn from Sesame Street standing at the foot of my bed.

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Jack McBrayer, Kenneth from 30 Rock, could be Jim Bob. He's from the South so he's already got the Southern part down.

 

I could also see the guy who did Boob in the Funny or Die piece  - thought he did quite a good job.

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