S03.E14: Marla's Story

[gardendiva]

I was amazed at Marla's ability to do the vertical splits while getting the hose-down, but then I realized she hasn't stood up in a year. Her muscles are probably wasted away to nothing, and her body is simply a skeleton encased in fat. Her legs were probably as floppy as a rag doll's.

 

At first I was infuriated at her refusal to do anything that she was asked to do, but when she finally managed to stand, the look of triumph and relief on her face made me wonder whether all that attitude and resistance was covering up a very strong fear of what would happen if she actually tried..

Edited April 9, 2015 by gardendiva

[Brooklynista]

I will only slightly say that perhaps Marla's refusal to try was really tied into her original hostage trauma.  Maybe it was tied into the fear of leaving the house. Maybe on some level she's still afraid of the boyfriend that terrorized her. Maybe she wasn't really just manipulative and hellbent on ruining her daughter's life.

 

Maybe

[poeticlicensed]

I agree that watching Dr. Now driving his car to Marla's house was made of awesome. In his white coat. And he entered the house with his stethoscope around his neck! I love him

 

He had the stethoscope on while driving the car! I wonder if he sleeps with it on. 

 

 

 

I will only slightly say that perhaps Marla's refusal to try was really tied into her original hostage trauma.  Maybe it was tied into the fear of leaving the house. Maybe on some level she's still afraid of the boyfriend that terrorized her. Maybe she wasn't really just manipulative and hellbent on ruining her daughter's life.

Maybe

 

I totally understand that trauma, especially early in life has deep and lasting impacts. But trauma isn't an excuse, it's a cause or a factor. I saw lots of anger and fear in Marla. She was able to seek out Dr. Now to have surgery. She was all over the internet with her laptop and phone.m Did it never occur to her to seek out help to cope with with her problems? At what point does she realize that she is terrible role model for her kids, both in her diet and in the way she interacted with others. When healthcare professionals were attempting to talk to talk to her and she continues to look at her phone and didn't even acknowledge them, that was downright rude.  

 

Did she really lose 250+ pounds? I doubt it. She didn't kook any smaller. Her legs looked a little better, but I chalked that up to the compression sleeves they had her legs in during her hospital stay. 

 

I agree that ep was not a great finale. I was hoping for an inspiring last story to end the season. 

Edited April 9, 2015 by poeticlicensed

[Miss Chevious]

I agree that ep was not a great finale. I was hoping for an inspiring last story to end the season. 

Me too. Every week when I watch this show, I am rooting for the person to make progress, lose a lot of weight and find new hope and purpose in life. I really want them to succeed. 

 

Unfortunately, this show made me holler at my TV and feel saddened afterwards. I don't think Marla is truly wanting to change and will be a bedbug forever. Not an uplifting way to end the season. 

[Guest]

What an ungrateful, miserable woman. When her daughters said that if they don't bring their mom what she wants, she get mad, I can surely believe it.

Does anyone else remember Dominique from some similar TLC Very Special Morbid Obesity Special? She lived, I think, in Florida and was something like 800 pounds as well. She was a miserable, manipulative shrew who, even with doctors BRINGING ALL OF HER MEALS TO HER, managed to gain weight because she intimidated and coerced her daughters into giving her the garbage food that got her bedridden in the first place. She finally had the surgery, didn't stick with the plan...then died. Take heed Marla, Pauline, and Penny.

I would love to know what hospital policy is with respect to a patient too embroiled in their online Bingo game to spend time with physical therapists. Are they always that agreeable or do they send in some administrator to read the patient the riot act?

I have a feeling that TLC is following the latter-episodes-of-Hoarders game plan and finding the most revolting people possible for maximum TV shock value.

And every time the title card that says, "Patient [so-and-so] has found a doctor in Houston willing to help them..." comes on the screen, I have to wonder, is anyone watching thinking, "Oh, I wonder what doctor that could be?" or "Oh, I hope it's still Dr Now! He was the doctor last week." Come on! Just say they're on their way to Houston to see Dr Now and be done with the non-mystery.

[poeticlicensed]

Marla didn't enjoy much, but she really seemed to enjoy her pain meds!  The look of ecstasy when the nurse delivered some into her IV was something I've seen somewhere before..... like Intervention

 

Marla was horrible in every way, but I give her a pass on that one. When I was in labor 25 years ago  with my first child, they gave me a painkiller via IV.  I still remember to this day the rush I felt when the meds hit.  

[charmed1]

Dominique actually called the police on her daughters when they wouldn't do what she wanted. Even she didn't make me as angry as Marla for some reason.

Poor Sierra. She looked so defeated and broken down. I know exactly how she feels. She's being asked to parent her mother and its a horrible and unfair situation for her to be in. When Dr. Now became angry with Marla, he turned to Sierra and told her if Marla wants to act like a child, then treat her like a child. Don't give her food. Sierra put her head down and whimpered out a "yes, sir." Omg I wanted to hug her. She's desperately seeking love and acceptance from her mother all while being asked to treat her mother like a child. It's a catch-22. Sierra knows giving her mother food will please her and keep her in Marla's good graces. But will eventually kill Marla. Not giving her food will cause Marla to treat Sierra like crap and damage their already fragile relationship. All she wants is a mom.

Edited April 9, 2015 by charmed1

[ethalfrida]

Lo, the poor camera people! Ewwww, just ewwww! That shows how little respect she has for her daughter. As was said earlier, if you can get your leg that far up you can wash your own V-jay-jay. And why wasn't she turned away from the camera? Who would expose themselves to their child like that?

And if her daughter has a fat gene it is specific to fast food. Marla said she was addicted to fast food and had always eaten it. But what she fried up last night was horrible.

But here, besides the splits, is the other ewwwww... she could only cover herself on top and the rest of her was exposed, even in the hospital. Her private parts flat down on the sheet had to leave "evidence".

Personally I think she is an exhibitionist along with not being very considerate of others. But she was both infuriating AND deserving of compassion.

[purpleflowers]

This lady is where I drew the line with feeling sympathy for past trauma. At least some of the other people on this show who had their self-pitying or selfish moments later acknowledged the part they played in their situation and humbled themselves with regards to Dr. Now and the opportunity they got. I can understand Marla being depressed, reclusive, unable to trust after what happened to her with the kidnapping but the way her toxic behavior spread misery to others in her life was inexcusable and she chose to behave that way. It's good if she does finally feel motivated to work towards a goal now that we saw her somewhat trying with the standing up and the lifting weights, but I won't really root for her unless she shows some remorse in her update and cares about a relationship with her daughter as much as her daughter does. 

[peaceknit]

 What was she deep frying It looked like chicken fingers, but then she covered them in some kind of sauce and rolled them in pieces of white bread, I thought I was going to hurl. 

 

That was bad enough, but the point where I thought I would hurl was when, after chowing down on that chicken finger sandwich, she licked her talons, err, fingers. Gross! I actually gasped outloud when I saw that!

Edited April 9, 2015 by peaceknit

[RedKoolAide]

Her finger nails were disgusting. I can't even imagine how much bacteria was living in/on those things.

She was a diabetic and mostly ate carbs/sugars. She could care less about her health. That disturbed me. She knows that she can possibly fall into a diabetic coma if she continues to disregard her glucose levels, but she does it anyway. She had a look of glee on her face every time she ate the junk food, but the broiled fish was nasty. Ok, Marla.

When she did the vertical split and her daughter was cleaning her" it looked like there was a stain on her bed pad. I don't know what it was but I almost threw up. I can't imagine sitting in my own filth like that every day. There was a commode seat right across from her bed. I wonder when was the last time she was able to use it.

[Cherrio]

I am crying from laughing over here at your post, Cherrio!

Marla pissed me off and I hope Sierra realizes she better get with the program since she's a mini Marla in the weight department

Thank you !      I do have to say however I think BostonBlonde's post was hilarious.   I keep picturing her scenario in my head.   :)

[Granny58]

Marla was horrible in every way, but I give her a pass on that one. When I was in labor 25 years ago  with my first child, they gave me a painkiller via IV.  I still remember to this day the rush I felt when the meds hit.  

and I remember the first time (of twice) that I took an Ativan.  I would be continually dripping that into my veins if I could.  

"I was amazed at Marla's ability to do the vertical splits while getting the hose-down, but then I realized she hasn't stood up in a year. Her muscles are probably wasted away to nothing, and her body is simply a skeleton encased in fat. Her legs were probably as floppy as a rag doll's."

 

All through this episode I was furious at Marla for not standing (and I am giving her no passes for her attitude - it sucks).  But at the end it finally dawned on  me that perhaps she was just afraid that her legs would give out, the bones would snap, or something.

[Tru ReNewal]

Marla was horrible in every way, but I give her a pass on that one. When I was in labor 25 years ago  with my first child, they gave me a painkiller via IV.  I still remember to this day the rush I felt when the meds hit.  

 

Fair enough. Percoset was my friend for a couple days after back surgery last year.

 

I just maybe, just a little bit, question if her pain was at a "12" as she nonchalantly sat in bed and quietly glowered at people.

[essinad]

Woo. That was not a good look, Marla. That attitude is not acceptable for anyone over the age of 5. Congrats to Dr. Now, because I might have resorted to the Bitchslap Method when she was pouting and rolling her eyes at the people trying desperately to help her.

 

I'm not convinced she is trying harder now. After Dr. Now left her house (!!!) she was back in the bed, "leg excercises" or no. If she really lost 250+ pounds she should be trying to stand up every day to build up her leg muscles for walking. Of course, I was sure she was going to be dead by the end of the episode, so... progress? Yay.

 

Marla's daughters and Pauline's son need to get together and start a support group.

[gardendiva]

If she needed a roomful of people just to help her stand, I doubt she is doing any standing whatsoever on her own. And she called that movement she was doing "leg exercises"? I get a better workout when I twitch in my sleep.

[poeticlicensed]

I just maybe, just a little bit, question if her pain was at a "12" as she nonchalantly sat in bed and quietly glowered at people.

 

I think that "12" was to get sympathy and let everyone know how much she was suffering. I have noticed that in many of the cases profiled on this show, the patients are either very intolerant of pain or they regress to a childlike state when they are put in a painful or stressful situation. I don't think that's a coincidence. The last thing most people want is to be immobile, hooked to machines, unable to care for themselves. Marla and some of the others seem to thrive on it. Remember Penny having her Cleopatra moment  when the EMTs were trying to lift her? She was loving it. 

[notyrmomma]

Dominique actually called the police on her daughters when they wouldn't do what she wanted. Even she didn't make me as angry as Marla for some reason.

But remember, (spoiler alert!)

Dominique died at the end

and I think Marla was not only heavier, but in way worse health.  Marla is lucky to be alive and I am still shocked that she lived. 

Edited April 9, 2015 by HalcyonDays
Added spoiler tags

[Cherrio]

I think that "12" was to get sympathy and let everyone know how much she was suffering. I have noticed that in many of the cases profiled on this show, the patients are either very intolerant of pain or they regress to a childlike state when they are put in a painful or stressful situation. I don't think that's a coincidence. The last thing most people want is to be immobile, hooked to machines, unable to care for themselves. Marla and some of the others seem to thrive on it. Remember Penny having her Cleopatra moment  when the EMTs were trying to lift her? She was loving it. 

We cannot forget the infamous "ouieee"

[cheatincheetos]

Enraged. Simply enraged. Marla must hate her daughter or still suffering from PTSD from the kidnapping. Either way, this woman is infuriating.

I'm really wondering if she saw Penny fry wontons in bed and decided it was simply genius or if there's a youtube channel on how to maintain obesity. Maybe the channel showcases recipes like bed pan meatloaf and wash me up leg split fried chicken.

Yep, there is. They also proudly feature:

Peepad Parmesan

Attitube Steak

Talcum Powdered Donuts

Dontouchme Taco Salad

Worlds biggest Cuppa Jello

[islandgal140]

 

She sure was flexible! She practically put her ankle behind her ear so that her daughter could wash her crotch. 

 

Also I need to side eye the "... and suddenly I was 700 pounds!" Exactly how long was the kidnapper boyfriend on the lamb? A decade? How long does it take to gain 550 pounds? 

 

You just know there is some feeder or dude out there into morbidly obese women that is looking for her facebook page to contact her after that display. Many of us have asked how sex happens when one is that heavy. Well, if someone can get that leg to stay up there .... party time!!

 

I also want to know how long her kidnapper was on the run. And what about the kids. Are they the kidnappers kids? Were they born before or after the incident? 

 

Also, the kidnapping was bad and all but I don't think that that warranted this being called the most heartbreaking episode. Frankly, was expecting her to die at the end with that lead in. I wish they hadn't ended the season with this episode. Wish it would've have ended with Chay. 

[cheatincheetos]

There is something unnerving about the look in her eye. Scary.

Like a bullfrog's, except evil.

[Guest]

Has anyone else noticed that the focus is now on shock rather than an informational/health concentration? 

 

Several episodes this season showed food/nutrition/therapy albeit in small doses...last night's episode was a freak show and I'm not using that term sarcastically.  It truly was a freak show.  The way she swooped up that leg to show her hoohaw was beyond belief.  No shame, no modesty, no sense of guilt for laying in the bed on soiled pads because she's making her digestive tract work 24/7. 

 

All that grossness aside - Marla's condescending demeanor was ghastly.  All that was missing was her snapping those disgusting talons and demanding that the hospital staff "go now".  If I worked at that hospital she would have rolled those eyes once at me - that would have been the tipping point.  If she complained the fish was "nasty" I would have grabbed the tray and told her to lift up her gigantic leg and pack sand. 

 

I am amazed at the power some people have to get others to do what they want.  When I was in the hospital for surgery I swear they operated on a Tuesday and by Thursday was handing me a box of gauze and wishing me well.  How that ungrateful pile of waste got the hospital jumping is beyond any comprehension of mine.

[stormy]

Dr Now with his white coat and stethoscope, yes sweet!

But was he wearing surgical gloves while driving?

I hope so. It's perfect!

[Taylorh2]

When Marla commanded for Sierra to get her some jello. I was so hoping that Sierra was going to tell her that if she wanted it, to get it herself.

 

Damn! Marla was a bitch.

[HalcyonDays]

How that ungrateful pile of waste got the hospital jumping is beyond any comprehension of mine.

 

Because it's being filmed for TV?? They have to act 'nice' because they know they are going to be on national TV and want to make sure they appear 'sensitive' and 'caring'. I wonder how they acted (that means everyone) when the cameras were off. Just a thought.

[Pixel]

He had the stethoscope on while driving the car! I wonder if he sleeps with it on.

 

When I worked as a direct care critical care RN, I wore my stethoscope around my neck to and from work, while driving my car. It's pretty common in healthcare workers. You need it for work, and it doesn't really fit well in even the deepest pockets.

 

I didn't notice she had a catheter, but I'd assume that was only in the hospital.  You really can't (or shouldn't) have a catheter for urine on a regular, day to day basis. It's a breeding ground for infection.  I'm sure she's just pissing the bed and making her poor daughter clean her up.

Edited April 10, 2015 by Pixel

[aliya]

I agree that watching Dr. Now driving his car to Marla's house was made of awesome. In his white coat. And he entered the house with his stethoscope around his neck! I love him.

Do doctors even do that anymore? I mean who drives around in their white coat?  Actually, I looked for the stethoscope while he was driving and didn't see it, but there it was when he was at the apartment. He must have put it on at the door. Love me some Dr Now.

 

My son came in when they showed a repeat of Chay's show. I'm like 'Wait wait 'til you see how he cooks bacon!' Son almost had a heart attack just looking at all that oil. I've never seen bacon cooked like that. Looking at Chay's plate again, did he have hush puppies on it? I'm not really familiar with them, but once I noticed some other kind of fried food on his plate, I wonder if Chay made the bacon first then use the oil to make the hush puppies. Now that would make sense. Kinda.

[AZChristian]

I think they were fried biscuits . . . just popped the refrigerated dough right into the fryer, and there you go.

[aliya]

I think they were fried biscuits . . . just popped the refrigerated dough right into the fryer, and there you go.

Jeez louise. That sounds disgusting. 

[Guest]

Am I wrong but isn't the doctor white coat only supposed to be used in the hospital?  Cleanliness and all that? 

 

I recall a dustup here in Boston when hospital workers were wearing scrubs and white coats to trot across the street for lunch.  Apparently someone noticed and called them out on it.  Several comments accompanying the article stated that "official" scrub wear and white coats were only to be used in hospitals. 

 

Then again, I suppose since this is television poetic license applies. 

[Granny58]

Because it's being filmed for TV?? They have to act 'nice' because they know they are going to be on national TV and want to make sure they appear 'sensitive' and 'caring'. I wonder how they acted (that means everyone) when the cameras were off. Just a thought.

would spitting on her carrots be too far?

Somebody please educate me.  Marla sits 24/7.  Then she had to sit for 13 hours in the car and it was almost unbearable for her, as well as near deadly.  Since she is already a professional sitter, I don't understand why the car and the trip would have made any difference.  

[Pepper Mostly]

Am I wrong but isn't the doctor white coat only supposed to be used in the hospital?  Cleanliness and all that? 

 

I recall a dustup here in Boston when hospital workers were wearing scrubs and white coats to trot across the street for lunch.  Apparently someone noticed and called them out on it.  Several comments accompanying the article stated that "official" scrub wear and white coats were only to be used in hospitals. 

 

Then again, I suppose since this is television poetic license applies. 

I spent many years working at a dental school, next door to a big city hospital. Everyone wore scrubs everywhere, but there were very strict rules about wearing gowns, masks or gloves outside the clinics. I certainly see people in scrubs on the subway every day, going to and from work at Mass General!

[Taylorh2]

On a 13 hr trip you will have to make stops every now & then. If Marla 'won't walk' how did you go to the bathroom?

 

There is no way that she made a 13 hr trip without ever getting out of the car.

[Mrs. P.]

On a 13 hr trip you will have to make stops every now & then. If Marla 'won't walk' how did you go to the bathroom?

There is no way that she made a 13 hr trip without ever getting out of the car.

This was the question Mr. P. and I had. I can't believe she had a permanent Foley catheter, so I guess the family changed her diaper regularly. Gross.

[Bellalisa]

would spitting on her carrots be too far?

Somebody please educate me.  Marla sits 24/7.  Then she had to sit for 13 hours in the car and it was almost unbearable for her, as well as near deadly.  Since she is already a professional sitter, I don't understand why the car and the trip would have made any difference.  

Maybe the bumping and movement of the car dislodged the clot? Also Im sure she peed in a bedpan in the car- she didn't get out to walk. They brought the bathroom to her then had to dump it, probably in a Burger King Parking lot. 

[Pepperminty]

The selfishness of people who get so fat they can't get out of bed amazes me.  Do they consider what a burden they are to their families, why would you make your children/significant other wipe your poop and serve you? Don't you realize they deserve their own life and should be spending time on themselves, not your bodily functions? Total narcissists.

[HalcyonDays]

The selfishness of people who get so fat they can't get out of bed amazes me.  Do they consider what a burden they are to their families, why would you make your children/significant other wipe your poop and serve you? Don't you realize they deserve their own life and should be spending time on themselves, not your bodily functions? Total narcissists.

 

So then...if your elderly mother or father suffers a left-side stroke and is almost completely incapacitated, and requires help to get out of bed, to even turn over in bed, to go to the bathroom, to be fed, to walk, to dress, etc, they are being selfish too?

 

True, blot clots that cause strokes are sometimes caused by lifestyle, but I was friends with a guy who suddenly dropped dead of a brain aneurysm at 50 years old and lived a very healthy life. What if that clot blockage caused a stroke instead and incapacitated him. Would it be fair to have his teenage children or spouse have to bathe and feed him, help him go to the bathroom also. Or is he simply being a narcissist? Not everyone is well off enough to afford 24-hour nursing care.

 

I am playing Devil's Advocate here (and using my personal experiences - my father suffered many strokes and was completely incapacitated for a long time) to attempt to demonstrate that these people are not simply chowing down on 10,000 calories a day simply because they are ALL self-absorbed. Marla certainly sounds like it, and maybe she is traumatized from the kidnapping, maybe she just liked the attention. Ordering her family around is a powertrip and hints at narcisism but it is not the entire picture.

 

These people have issues, man. For Marla, maybe it's like a version of Munchausen's syndrome coupled with a need to control her family and other psychological issues. I don't know. But these people who are so overweight they are incapacitated are NOT the only people in the world who are a "burden" to their families due to physical illness.

[lulu69]

You just know there is some feeder or dude out there into morbidly obese women that is looking for her facebook page to contact her after that display. Many of us have asked how sex happens when one is that heavy. Well, if someone can get that leg to stay up there .... party time!!

Didn't douchebag Gareth (season 2) run a porn fetish site? I could just picture him calling her up, "Hey baby, I think you have real potential. How about meeting?"

[Taylorh2]

IMO: Caring for your elderly parents or someone who has has a stroke is not the same-thing as having to care for someone who purposely ate themselves to 800 lbs.

 

One has nothing to do with the other.

[HalcyonDays]

IMO: Caring for your elderly parents or someone who has has a stroke is not the same-thing as having to care for someone who purposely ate themselves to 800 lbs.

 

One has nothing to do with the other.

 

Yes it does. It's a health issue. These people didn't sit down and purposely said "My goal is 800 lbs". Genetics, food consumption, lack of exercise, lack of metabolism all contribute. Also, at certain weights, how the body uses/stores fat completely changes.

 

If a person was a life-long chain-smoker (causing high risk of stoke), then did they "smoke" themselves to incapacitation?

[Cherrio]

So then...if your elderly mother or father suffers a left-side stroke and is almost completely incapacitated, and requires help to get out of bed, to even turn over in bed, to go to the bathroom, to be fed, to walk, to dress, etc, they are being selfish too?

 

True, blot clots that cause strokes are sometimes caused by lifestyle, but I was friends with a guy who suddenly dropped dead of a brain aneurysm at 50 years old and lived a very healthy life. What if that clot blockage caused a stroke instead and incapacitated him. Would it be fair to have his teenage children or spouse have to bathe and feed him, help him go to the bathroom also. Or is he simply being a narcissist? Not everyone is well off enough to afford 24-hour nursing care.

 

I am playing Devil's Advocate here (and using my personal experiences - my father suffered many strokes and was completely incapacitated for a long time) to attempt to demonstrate that these people are not simply chowing down on 10,000 calories a day simply because they are ALL self-absorbed. Marla certainly sounds like it, and maybe she is traumatized from the kidnapping, maybe she just liked the attention. Ordering her family around is a powertrip and hints at narcisism but it is not the entire picture.

 

These people have issues, man. For Marla, maybe it's like a version of Munchausen's syndrome coupled with a need to control her family and other psychological issues. I don't know. But these people who are so overweight they are incapacitated are NOT the only people in the world who are a "burden" to their families due to physical illness.

Comparing someone from on 600 lb. life to a stroke victim is apples to oranges in my opinion. There is no comparison.    A stroke victim is a physical medical problem and most of the obese people featured here are addicts which originates from mental problems. The physical problems which are immense are effects of the original psychological problems.

        Most reasonable people would never compare the two, unless say the stroke victim was living a very dangerous and reckless life that definitely lead to the stroke.

                  A food addict on the other hand who should but does not do anything to address their mental issues and just keeps gaining weight to the point where anyone around them is affected can be labeled selfish, a burden or both.   It still should be recognized as an addiction/illness , but when it affects others in really detrimental ways, especially children...it has to and should be dealt with sometimes with bottom line consequences just like any other addict.     Again, no one would ever address a stroke victim like this.

[HalcyonDays]

 

Comparing someone from on 600 lb. life to a stroke victim is apples to oranges in my opinion. There is no comparison.

 

I think the comparison that I am trying to make is a serious health issue that leads to incapacitation, required full time care from family members.

 

A food addict on the other hand who should but does not do anything to address their mental issues and just keeps gaining weight to the point where anyone around them is affected can be labeled selfish, a burden or both.   It still should be recognized as an addiction/illness , but when it affects others in really detrimental ways, especially children

 

 

So what about an alcoholic? It is an addiction but also a mental illness that highly increases the risk of stroke.

 

Anoretics are also the complete opposite with starvation, but the stress it puts on the body can cause strokes and incapacitate them in the same way.

 

I guess my point is that society is so easy to dismiss an overweight person as selfish and nasrcissictic and self-absorbed. Everyone else "has a problem, an addiction, psychological issues", but an overweight person just has to "stop eating" and stop being "so selfish." Not saying that Marla isn't selfish, but not all of these people on this show are selfish/narcissistic. JMO.

 

 

ETA: Obviously we are all going to agree to disagree on this issue, because we see it differently. :')

[ethalfrida]

The more I think about it the more I see Marla has serious psychological problems besides her obesity. I am still extremely offended by the shot of her leg in the air! They did not have to film that. But even more telling, she had no modesty about herself at all. Who would do that with a room full of people... unless, it was a remote camera they were using. But I cannot see someone exposing themselves like that in fron of their child and expecting their child to clean it! It's not that I sat and stared either. When that leg went up I cussed out loud and turned away. I watch the show to see if the patient made any progress and I usually cheer them on. But the BIG THREE, Penny, Pauline and Marla are disgusting.

[gunderda]

I think the moment your grown children have to give you a sponge bath on your bed all modesty goes out the window.

[Cherrio]

I wanted to add my opinion to Islandgal140 and PsychoKlowns posts.

      I agree that this particular show has turned into a freak show by TLC. To be clear I am not calling the people freaks. I have said it before that this show is the same exact thing as the old carnival shows.     Yes, the people wanted and agreed to be on the show, but what TLC has done is truly disgusting.   I am at the point where I will probably boycott the network and write to all of their sponsors.  It worked pretty well with Jon and Kate. People finally got disgusted and stopped watching.

          What they filmed Marla doing was so wrong. Even if she was alright with it, they should of never filmed it.

                            I would actually seriously question what kind of personal fetishes their execs and production crew have because no one with even the tiniest bit of common sense and decency would of ever filmed that.

[ethalfrida]

I wanted to add my opinion to Islandgal140 and PsychoKlowns posts.

      I agree that this particular show has turned into a freak show by TLC. To be clear I am not calling the people freaks. I have said it before that this show is the same exact thing as the old carnival shows.     Yes, the people wanted and agreed to be on the show, but what TLC has done is truly disgusting.   I am at the point where I will probably boycott the network and write to all of their sponsors.  It worked pretty well with Jon and Kate. People finally got disgusted and stopped watching.

          What they filmed Marla doing was so wrong. Even if she was alright with it, they should of never filmed it.

                            I would actually seriously question what kind of personal fetishes their execs and production crew have because no one with even the tiniest bit of common sense and decency would of ever filmed that.

Exactly the point I was trying to make on another episode. I am with you if you do a letter writing campaign or if you find how best to contact the right people. And what did Jon and Kate do that sparked the "enough of this" from viewers? I never watched the show.

[scowl]

I think the comparison that I am trying to make is a serious health issue that leads to incapacitation, required full time care from family members.

 

The difference I see is that the actions of the family members are continuing to keep the person incapacitated and in some cases are causing the person's condition to deteriorate. They are not helping the person recover from their medical condition. This is the opposite of my definition of "care".  

[HalcyonDays]

The difference I see is that the actions of the family members are continuing to keep the person incapacitated and in some cases are causing the person's condition to deteriorate. They are not helping the person recover from their medical condition. This is the opposite of my definition of "care".  

 

But it's a catch-22 here (and in other ailments). If you refuse to help the person, you are a terrible family member for being cold and unfeeling. If you do, you are a terrible family member because you are aiding the ailment.

 

Don't get me wrong, some of these people like Marla are manipulating their family. But not all. And some members of the family probably feel sorry for the person, have a warm heart, do they help and inadvertently end up not helping. No one can win in this case.

 

There is a fantastic book by Marya Hornbacher called Wasted. She was an anoretic from her teens until mid twenties, depressive and suicidal. Her parents tried to help her, first with love and compassion, then by tough love, then by chucking her into a hospital, then into a mental institution. She was in and out for years, hid her anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism from her parents, nurses and caretakers. She recovered then relapsed, then recovered and relapsed over and over again. She herself details in the book how she manipulated, lied, cheated, stole, etc to cover up her illness, get what she wanted, etc.

 

No one would say that her parents were not helping her but then at times, her parents couldn't deal anymore and refused to help her. Nothing worked, until she finally - finally - decided to recover. They tried to "care" for her in so many ways, and everything backfired.

 

I see the same things in these cases, except instead of anorexia/bulimia, it's overeating. So it's easy to slam the family or dismiss the person as narcissistic, but the issues are much more complex than this.

 

Again, just my view. Not everyone can combat their demons as easily as those on the outside claim they should be able to. I have my own demons that I am dealing with and for someone to say to me, "just stop doing that" is such BS it isn't funny. Okay, I'll go right out and do that. *eyeroll* Yeah, sure. It doesn't work that way. The demons can be strong and they infect not only the profiled person, but also the family members around them.

 

Who knew this TV show would cause such passion, eh?? *grin*

[Dizzychickstar]

I recognize in Marla a woman who desperately needs some counseling. Besides the fear of standing, a part of her refusal to do so may have been about controlling the situation. The attitude is quite possibly just peacockin.' Puffing out her chest and refusing to jump when told.

I agree with a lot of what's been said regarding the family dynamic. Sneaking food in is one thing, changing a dynamic you grew up with overnight is another one altogether.

Hugs to Halcyon Days!