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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


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I think the key is that "the world" is a code word. They're not talking about nature with its beautiful dead leaves, which they're allowed to enjoy because Jesus; they're talking about "worldly things" like material wealth, pleasures of the flesh, etc. which they're not allowed to enjoy because Satan. Their problem is that they can't just give in and fully enjoy their wealth and pleasures because they really want to be with Jesus, yet they can't love Jesus as fully as they feel they should because they're still attracted to the material and the sensual. So basically it's a guilt trip.

That's my take, anyway, as someone who has never been a Christian of any kind, but who is really good at deciphering codes.

Also, I can't believe I just wrote down the phrase "pleasures of the flesh."

 

I guess the fear of the "pleasures of the flesh" (see, if we all write it, then you're not so much on the hook...) just goes back, once again, to what fearful people they are. The call to "pleasure of the flesh" can be awfully strong, and I can see why insecure types might find it terrifying and kind of uncanny. Too bad they aren't reflective enough to recognize greed, arrogance and lust for power as similar pleasures and run from them a little bit more, while running from sex a little bit less.

Edited by Churchhoney
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I don't even understand that. Between Ben's ramblings and Wallers...I don't know. Then again, the Creationist Museum makes sense to them. I must be missing something.

It sounds smug to me, like they are so holy and Jesusy that they can't enjoy the horrible sinful world. So I guess they just sit home being dead to their own desires and feeling superior about it.

If they would ever actually READ about Jesus, they would be shocked at the types of people he hung out with. Screw Gothard and his heavily edited so-called Christianity. I am not even especially religious, but it still annoys me to see a belief system bastardized to scare people and make them feel bad about themselves. (The original versions of some do that well enough already, LOL.)

As I was enjoying a can of mixed nuts the other day I asked God, I said God why are there people like Priscilla so lost and confused? I had so many questions and God said - Defrauder, Priscilla and those like her are like the mixed nuts in the can surrounded by other mixed nuts, unable to free themselves not even realizing they're in a can, not able to see a world outside of the can. They shelter themselves within the can and fear even trying to get out, coerced and made to fear anything outside of it. Surrounded by other mixed nuts constantly reinforced to live like a nut forever.

Awesome.

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I'm not thinking it. I just think that when David or Priscilla want to 'compose' a 'thought', they write down "Jesus" five times, and then fill in the gaps with words plucked at random from a dictionary.

Cereal box. I call BS on them having a dictionary.

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I'm not thinking it.  I just think that when David or Priscilla want to 'compose' a 'thought', they write down "Jesus" five times, and then fill in the gaps with words plucked at random from a dictionary.

Jesus Mad Libs

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I'm really happy to see Erin continuing with her music. Even if she limits her work to teaching piano and playing at churches and weddings, it something of her own. She's not spending her days chasing after Chad and making three round trips to hang off of him at work.

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Erin Bates is lovely, but somebody ought to tell her that God invented the color green, and God also invented hair. Ergo, green hair = God's plan. No?

Edited by Aja
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That comment she made about people with green hair was stupid and ignorant.  But she's matured tremendously since getting married, so who knows if she still feels that way.

 

As far as obnoxiousness goes, Erin Bates isn't even in the same league as Jessa Duggar.

Edited by IndianPaintbrush
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I agree that the normal hair is what's throwing everyone off. We're so used to seeing Erin with the big, puffy bouffant and ringlet curls that it's hard to recognize her without her signature hairstyle. 

 

That, and she's airbrushed into oblivion. It reminds me of those creepy photos of the pageant girls. 

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That, and she's airbrushed into oblivion. It reminds me of those creepy photos of the pageant girls. 

Yeah, they definitely shaved off a few lingering pregnancy pounds, lol. It looks like Erin's heavily photoshopped head was stuck onto Alyssa's petite body.

Edited by BitterApple
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Occasionally I look at Erin and Alyssa's Instagram pages.  Alyssa posts pictures of her little family dressed up for church each Sunday.  I swear she has a different dress every week.  Her hubby must be making a decent living, or else she is queen of the clearance rack/resale shops.  

Probably a little bit of both. The husband is a HVAC tech working for a company that I think he owns with 2-3 brothers. It's a skilled trade -- and one I imagine that's in demand in FL where people use air conditioning like 8 months a year. So it's possible that he does reasonably well. But I also think the Bates girls are into fashion and grew up with VERY limited means, so once they outgrew the prairie dress stage, they got into bargain hunting in a big way. She has probably discovered every consignment store in her area and stays home and has time on her hands -- so she may be the type who spots a dress she likes at a mid level kind of store and then keeps an eye on it every few days until the store has some kind of random sale happening on a Wed afternoon allowing her to get the dress at 50% off.

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I'm really happy to see Erin continuing with her music. Even if she limits her work to teaching piano and playing at churches and weddings, it something of her own. She's not spending her days chasing after Chad and making three round trips to hang off of him at work.

Definitely. And hopefully continuing with music -- even in this limited kind of way -- makes her realize there's nothing wrong with have 2-3 kids, a nice DH, and your own life/hobbies. I assume she would be the type who feel sadness at not being able to have 10 kids -- as much as she says whatever God wants is fine. Having a smaller family and some jobs/hobbies of her own will allow her to continue getting out there and making friend with other conservative Christians (bc that's mostly who lives in these kinds of small towns) like she did in college -- and she'll see that many of them stop at 3 kids, many wives work etc. -- and 10+ kids isn't the ONLY way to live.

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Regarding Alyssa's clothes, she might find great deals at outlet malls as well. Outlets are filled with teeny sizes that don't sell out in the department stores due to the fact that the average American woman is a 14. If you're petite you can really clean up in some of those places.

I can't believe Esther is pregnant again. What is this, her tenth?

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Remind me - Esther belongs to which fundie family and what's her story? Is she one of Anna's sisters who followed her husband someplace on a mission? How old is she/what ages are the kids she already has?

Esther is Anna's older sister. She's married to John Shrader, a Fundie who equals Steve Maxwell in terms of batshit craziness. At one point they were living in a pop-up camper in the woods with six or seven small children. They finally raised the funds to move to Zambia, where John has solicited donations for an ice maker, small plane and copy machine. IIRC, Esther had just given birth before they moved. God only knows how they're surviving over there.

Edited by BitterApple
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I think it's worse than that -Esther was STILL PREGNANT when they moved to Zambia. The youngest child was born there. John Schrader really is insane.

Edit: Jinx! The story of the Schraders really does have a way of gripping the mind and not letting go!

Edited by Gweilo
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Esther is Anna's older sister. She's married to John Shrader, a Fundie who equals Steve Maxwell in terms of batshit craziness. At one point they were living in a pop-up camper in the woods with six or seven small children. They finally raised the funds to move to Zambia, where John has solicited donations for an ice maker, small plane and copy machine. IIRC, Esther had just given birth before they moved. God only knows how they're surviving over there.

Yet he's never once mentioned that flying death mobile since they got to Zambia. Methinks the money for the plane went to all that fresh produce he used for juicing while he gave Esther a totino's pizza after being in labor for a week.

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The Bates girls really seem to have hit the jackpot, husbandwise so far. At least Alyssa and Erin have, whether Michaella is lucky will remain to be seen. But unlike the Dullards or BinJess, their husbands take them out on trips, surprise them with thoughtful gestures and genuinely seem to care. I also think that Zach is doing his best to be a good husband.

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The Bates girls really seem to have hit the jackpot, husbandwise so far. At least Alyssa and Erin have, whether Michaella is lucky will remain to be seen. But unlike the Dullards or BinJess, their husbands take them out on trips, surprise them with thoughtful gestures and genuinely seem to care. I also think that Zach is doing his best to be a good husband.

I tend to think of the Bates' marriages as more "normal" -- not middle America normal, but still -- fundie normal. Zach met his wife in a regular way -- saw her when she was a waitress at Sonic and got to chatting and being friendly with her. Erin and Alyssa's husbands -- not super abnormal meetings. I think Chad saw Erin at a Valentine's Day dance/program and I think John somehow met Alyssa thru her brothers thru some mission trip they went on. Sure the "courting" isn't what normally happens in America, but it's not THAT different from what I've seen when you're dating someone with a tight family. A lot of the dating involves hanging out with the family and getting to know your boy/girlfriend in that setting. With the Bates there was the added benefit of having parents/siblings keeping an eye on you, but Kelly has always said that the couple has plenty of privacy to talk and hang out. I know they don't kiss, but I don't think it would have been impossible for any of the couples to sneak a kiss here and there if they wanted to.

 

They dated and married in normal-ish ways and now they are normal young couples -- with Alyssa and John always doing date nights and starbucks runs and Chad and Erin taking little 2 day getaways here and there.

 

Remains to be seen how Brandon is. He struck me as very different than Zach, Chad, and John - seems like he just wanted to check the box of wife and family and enjoy the role as headship.

 

But all in all I think NOT being on TV until very recently (and even that in very limited ways) has helped the Bates. They don't seem to attract the weirdos that the Duggars do -- guys like Derick who realize -- oh her father will love me and has 10 daughters so if I impress him, he hooks me up with one of them and I don't have to make any effort OR Ben -- who saw a hot girl as a ticket to the TV gravy train.

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Esther Schrader being dragged to Africa sounds horrible, but the reality is it's horrible in a different way. Her husband John has obtained the family suitable accommodation, but the way he burns through his fathers' parishioners cash is the horrific part. He had a fucking piano shipped to him at great expense, plus an ice machine, nobody needs those, and last time I checked, he wouldn't dare try to convert a Muslim (which is sensible), so his conversion total was like 2 people. Tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars for 2 people.

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I think the biggest difference between the Bates girls marriages and the Duggar girls, is that the Bates girls have husbands with real life jobs. And maybe another contributing factor is that it seems the Bates 19 are allowed to have feelings and interests, so maybe they do more than pray and spout bible verses.

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I think the biggest difference between the Bates girls marriages and the Duggar girls, is that the Bates girls have husbands with real life jobs. And maybe another contributing factor is that it seems the Bates 19 are allowed to have feelings and interests, so maybe they do more than pray and spout bible verses.

And the Bates kids are sometimes a little sassy and I mean this in a good way.

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Remind me - Esther belongs to which fundie family and what's her story? Is she one of Anna's sisters who followed her husband someplace on a mission? How old is she/what ages are the kids she already has?

It's Anna's sister. I think they've got 10 kids now, 2 born during their relatively short sojourn thus far in Zambia. World-class grifter as a father. .... Maybe Bin would like to try this. JS is definitely a role model for the grift that keeps on grifting set. .

 

https://www.facebook.com/john.shrader.125

 

 

The Keller situation is interesting. Some married into these absolutely quintessentially patriarchal-system horror-story situations. While the rest seem to be living rather average lives on the outside of that world. Wonder how that happene.d

Edited by Churchhoney
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I would like to start a family that promotes ZeroPopulationGrowth.

Probably not the best grifting business model.

(rhetorical question ahead)

What are these people thinking?

I continue to be badly amazed.

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So this Shrader dude is married to Anna's sister Esther? On his FB that is posted above, they are asking for prayer for his (?) sister. And her name is Sarah Shrader Waller? So HIS sister is married to a Waller? Is this the same Waller family that HER (Esther's sister: ?Priscilla) is married to? Gah, I am so confused.

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Somehow, I'm not surprised. What a colossal tool. I think this revelation has tipped me into genuine hatred for the guy. Poor Esther and poor, poor children. I know Esther is batshit, but no one deserves this loser.

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Meanwhile, Miss Marjorie J. is starting a new book. Looks like maybe an updated-for-teens version of C.S. Lewis's The Four Loves, kind of?

 

https://marjoriejackson.wordpress.com/

 

That girl is so not Duggar material. And even though I do think that she was in it largely for the famewhoring, I'm still really happy that she got out (maybe sad for Josiah, depending on how into it he was, but happy for her). Maybe she was just childishly clueless about her famewhore feelings or something. At any rate, she does  things -- and actual intellectual and artistic things at that -- and anybody who does things had better run far from the Duggars, since they don't permit it. All they permit in young people is grifting and paralysis. Truly a nightmare.

Edited by Churchhoney
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I would like to start a family that promotes ZeroPopulationGrowth.

Probably not the best grifting business model.

(rhetorical question ahead)

What are these people thinking?

I continue to be badly amazed.

 

This whole subculture is one where, if you read about it in a novel, you'd be sure that there was huge fictional exaggeration involved. And yet the facts are crazier than most novels could get away with because they're so absurd. And I'm sure most people don't even realize the subculture even exists, let alone how extensive it is.

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I made up a song, purely fictional and satirical, about Journey to The Heart.  For Priscilla Waller.  In memory of.

 

Lead in the water at Journey to the Heart

Now you're dumb when you used to be smart

Barefoot and pregnant is where you belong

Weak and needy when you could have been strong

Come back often for more of our lies

We'll brainwash your mind until you've got that glaze in your eyes.

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Meanwhile, Miss Marjorie J. is starting a new book. Looks like maybe an updated-for-teens version of C.S. Lewis's The Four Loves, kind of?

 

https://marjoriejackson.wordpress.com/

 

That girl is so not Duggar material. And even though I do think that she was in it largely for the famewhoring, I'm still really happy that she got out (maybe sad for Josiah, depending on how into it he was, but happy for her). Maybe she was just childishly clueless about her famewhore feelings or something. At any rate, she does  things -- and actual intellectual and artistic things at that -- and anybody who does things had better run far from the Duggars, since they don't permit it. All they permit in young people is grifting and paralysis. Truly a nightmare.

I read about this last week. She has a golden opportunity to extort a few bucks from Jim Bob lest she reveal too much about what went on.

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Meanwhile, Miss Marjorie J. is starting a new book. Looks like maybe an updated-for-teens version of C.S. Lewis's The Four Loves, kind of?

https://marjoriejackson.wordpress.com/

That girl is so not Duggar material. And even though I do think that she was in it largely for the famewhoring, I'm still really happy that she got out (maybe sad for Josiah, depending on how into it he was, but happy for her). Maybe she was just childishly clueless about her famewhore feelings or something. At any rate, she does things -- and actual intellectual and artistic things at that -- and anybody who does things had better run far from the Duggars, since they don't permit it. All they permit in young people is grifting and paralysis. Truly a nightmare.

Josiah needs to forget about Marjorie and find the man of his dreams.

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Josiah needs to forget about Marjorie and find the man of his dreams.

 

Considering how apparently impossible it is for a Duggar kid to personally pick out for him or her self even a person of the approved gender, though,, that's not likely to be possible for many years.

 

(And assuming that he wants to. My "gaydar" only works in person, when I can pick up the vibes people send out to others of various genders and gauge where their erotic attraction goes, so "seems a little effeminate" or whatever doesn't prove anything to me.).

Ignorance combined with Arrogance is a tragic combination.

 

If we're lucky, the big central Duggar burial marker will have this engraved on it in very large letters by one of the younger children after some of the kids finally wake up.

Edited by Churchhoney
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