Huh, I Never Knew That: True Facts That I Learned From Watching TV

[kassygreene]

What I NEVER see on tv is people crashing the car intentionally when being kidnapped.  If some dude jumps into my passenger seat, even with a gun to my head, and orders me to drive, I'm driving... right into a telephone pole.  On his side.  I wear my seat belt, but even if I don't, I'll take my chances with motor vehicle trauma and an ambulance ride, rather than rape, torture and dismemberment. 

 

Oh, and single women can't pick up groceries without a big loaf of French bread.  

 

A recent episode of Forever had Henry telling Jo, who'd just been kidnapped by the baddie and had managed to activate her blue-tooth and call her partner, to drive into a crash barrier (water barrels), and to make sure the car was centered on the barrels.  And she did.  The airbag protected her, the bad guy was sufficiently disoriented to be disarmed, and everybody goes home.  It's a sensible response to a risky situation, I believe.

 

About a year or so ago down here, four creeps committed a bunch of crimes in a fast spree fashion, car hijacking, threatening, I think some shooting.  Damn, the details have faded.  But towards the end of the run they were trying to hijack at gunpoint yet another car at a gas station I often use myself, and the woman driving that car I believe tried to run one of them down...  I think I'm remembering it correctly.  The four of them stuck with the car they had already jacked and had to abandon it a little later.  In the end, one of them killed, three in custody.  What the woman didn't know then was that they had already killed at least one person.

 

Running the guy down if you fear for your life?  I get that.  It's Indiana Jones bringing a gun to a sword fight.

[Chaos Theory]

Sorry previous post didn't sound right in my head. This sounds better.

What I learned from TV is everyone's parents are spies, aliens or secretly serial killers.

[Shannon L.]

If there is a good reason for me to have to break off a relationship with someone I care about, I don't have to sit down and explain to the other person what's happening--I can just say something to the effect of "sorry, this isn't working out" and leave them wondering what the hell went wrong and when.

[Brooklynista]

Self Contained Underwater Breathing Aparatus! I can barely swim, but I know what scuba stands for thank to Alex P. Keaton.

[ShortyMac]

TV Lessons I've Learned was one of my favorite TWOP threads, so I'm thrilled to find it here!

 

 Mine, too. I don't know why I don't come here more often.

[ChromaKelly]

I learned that Ezra Jack Keats (author of The Snowy Day and other children's books) is a white Jewish guy from too-brief show Up All Night. I had assumed he was black because many of his books feature black children and families. Brief summary of how I learned this - Maya Rudolph's character was biracial and her white dad was coming to town, played by Henry Winkler. He mentions his books and they seemed like The Snowy Day, and I was like OMG he's supposed to be like Ezra Jack Keats! What? So I Googled him and lo and behold, white guy.
 

[ParadoxLost]

Not in the usual vein, but I learned what a mud room is.  Its important enough that every couple on Love it or List it must have one in their reno.  Its important enough that you'll eliminate a bedroom from your house and make your kids share bedrooms just to have one.  Your house will be an impossible mess that can never be organized without it.  It can sell air freshener because it smells bad, I guess.

 

Perks of living in moderate climates, but I have never seen one in person.  I'd never heard of one either besides on TV.

Edited April 26, 2015 by ParadoxLost

[ToxicUnicorn]

When I was growing up, we called mud rooms, "garages".  That's where the muddy boots and stuff got kicked out.  Sometimes you had to sit down on the welcome mat to get them off.  We were so deprived.

 

Having mocked them, I actually do have a soft spot for all the cubbies and coat hooks and wainscoting and benches in the modern mud room.  But, I wouldn't prioritize it over a bedroom.  You could always get an extra large door mat, instead.

[ABay]

We called our mud room the front hall. I sort of feel like mud rooms are one of those things that existed in the past, maybe on farms or more rural areas, and were suddenly in vogue because of HGTV and how you have to do something with all of the useless rooms in your McMansion.

[shapeshifter]

We called our mud room the front hall.

Oh, is that what a "mud room" is? We had a "front hall" by the time I was 10 years old. I've never had one of my own, but often wished I did. Not amount of rugs, no matter the size, seem to keep the dirt, gravel, and dead leaves from getting tracked into the rest of the place.

[backformore]

Houses around here don't have mudrooms, exactly. But we do have small laundry rooms which connect the house and garage. They kind of serve that purpose, but are way too small to put in a bench, storage baskets, etc. Just the washer, dryer, and cabinets above.

When the kids were especially dirty - fishing, sports, playing in the rain - the routine was to strip to underwear , put the clothes in the washer, before going upstairs to shower.

I always wanted the sort of mud room I see on tv, where you can actually store boots, jackets, etc. Some towels, a hamper, a bench to sit while you put boots on and off, a shelf to hold slippers. Dream on.

[shapeshifter]

...When the kids were especially dirty - fishing, sports, playing in the rain - the routine was to strip to underwear , put the clothes in the washer, before going upstairs to shower...

When my now-ex-husband was a lumberjack, slogging through acres of poison oak, I used to make him strip down to his undies on the (outside) porch and put his clothes in a paper bag, which I would then dump into the washing machine with ammonia to dissolve the toxic oils.

I think there should be more mudrooms on TV so people will see their value and demand them during renos.

[HalcyonDays]

...Is that no married or dating couple ever had morning breath? The pair wakes up in bed, and they are all snuggly and romantic, and then they start making out and tonguing each other and I think "toothbrush/paste and Listerine please!". Sorry for this one.

 

That humans can sober up immediately if the situation calls for it. Someone will be very really drunk, when some drama suddenly happens or a secret is told or whatever, the drunken person suddenly sobers up and is perfectly fine.

 

A woman can go to sleep with a thick layer of eyeliner and mascara and never wake up with racoon eyes.

[ToxicUnicorn]

Haha.  I agree with all of those, HalcyonDays.  Also, the extremely sexy lingerie on everyday normal days.  Doesn't anyone else segregate their underthings besides me?
 

 

where you can actually store boots, jackets, etc. Some towels, a hamper, a bench to sit while you put boots on and off, a shelf to hold slippers.

 

I fell into this trap of coveting the super-organized and charming mudroom.  I made a cubbie for each kid.  I have a lovely little bench.  Guess what: the backpacks always end up on the table anyway and the bench probably hasn't been sat on once.  It has served a purpose as the place to put things on, but by the time we hit the "mud room" in the morning, we're too late - way past the time to sit down leisurely and pull your boots up - and in the afternoon, the kids are through it and on to the next thing. 

 

In conclusion, those idealized mud rooms do not fit my life experience.  The only ones who really benefit from that space are the dogs.  I do like having a place to feed the dogs .... but I still wouldn't give up a bedroom for it.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Haha.  I agree with all of those, HalcyonDays.  Also, the extremely sexy lingerie on everyday normal days.  Doesn't anyone else segregate their underthings besides me?

 

Well, if you go by television, you want to have a really nice bra in case you want to have sex with someone.

[HalcyonDays]

Well, if you go by television, you want to have a really nice bra in case you want to have sex with someone.

 

No, you must always be wearing a matching lacy black or red (usually) set (with bows and or frills) and are usually always prepared to have sex, as in always perfectly shaved everywere (legs and arm and other areas). *grin*

 

Haha.  I agree with all of those, HalcyonDays.  Also, the extremely sexy lingerie on everyday normal days.  Doesn't anyone else segregate their underthings besides me?

 

Me too. The "special occassion stuff" and the practical stuff. *smile*

 

Oh, another one --> That someone can fall asleep in the crook of their mates arms, neck bend ackwardly, or tightly spooning. Okay, I get some people can do it, but I need my space and my comforter fully around me and clear space around me. Otherwise, I cannot sleep.

[ToxicUnicorn]

The "special occassion stuff" and the practical stuff.

 

Otherwise known as "flattering" and "comfortable".

[topanga]

I learned that Ezra Jack Keats (author of The Snowy Day and other children's books) is a white Jewish guy from too-brief show Up All Night. I had assumed he was black because many of his books feature black children and families. Brief summary of how I learned this - Maya Rudolph's character was biracial and her white dad was coming to town, played by Henry Winkler. He mentions his books and they seemed like The Snowy Day, and I was like OMG he's supposed to be like Ezra Jack Keats! What? So I Googled him and lo and behold, white guy.

 

I did not know this. I grew up on his books, and so did my children. This makes me want to learn more about him.

[decembar13]

I've learned that if a person with xx chromosome gets into a partnership with a person with xy chromosome (and especially if there is a lingering annoyance among them... or even open dislike), they will definitely end up together... twu wuw and all of that.

[Mick Lady]

Well, I'm pretty sure I can crab fish...

[Andyourlittledog2]

Well, I'm pretty sure I can crab fish...

 

LOL!  I know what you mean.  

[yourpointis]

I don't know if this would be considered a trope by now, but all I know is that if anyone is having an affair, at some point in time the lovers will be making out in front of a window clearly visible to any camera lens or p.i. because total discretion is not a requirement of extramarital affairs.

[DeLurker]

Unless the show is about the PI - then the PI will be thwarted by drawn shades and that tad of discretion.  The PI will then need to climb through bushes to try to get a peek.  Pleading with a watch dog, sprinklers going off or other whacky hijinks will follow.

[SunnyBeBe]

I leaned from tv that when a family sits down to breakfast, everyone will immediately get up and run out of the house, without even taking a bite..  (Why bother?)

 

I learned that when a person is sick and in pain, they insist on working at their job, even as their boss, co-workers and doctor beg them to stay home and rest. (Usually, the exact opposite IRL.)

 

I learned that kids on tv always ask if they may be excused from the dinner table.  (Not in my world.)

[DeLurker]

I've learned that you cannot compete on a reality show unless you have a story that can be spun tragic.  You have to have a recently deceased loved one who you will be playing for, be an immigrant who left your home country under adverse circumstance (bonus points if it political oppression and winning will prove "America is the land of opportunity"), be a former addict of sorts in recovery, be a single parent wanting to show your offspring that "hard work will let you rise above", ...

[Sandman87]

Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back to being about real things that we actually learned (as opposed to things that belong in the Only On TV thread):

I learned From a PBS nature show that a male echidna's penis has four heads, which it uses two at a time.

[yourpointis]

What I learned from the History Channel was that more people walk to work in Alaska than all the other (US)states combined.

[dargosmydaddy]

Apparently there are birds that eat lots and lots of snails, and some of those snails manage to pass through, undigested (as in, still alive when they get pooped out).

 

Thank you, Hannibal. I'm never going to be able to un-know that now...

[Moose135]

And thank you for sharing that...

[shapeshifter]

Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back to being about real things that we actually learned (as opposed to things that belong in the Only On TV thread)...

I noticed it had strayed, but I thought it was supposed to be more sarcastic, like: I learned from the Zoo pilot that if lions attack, your best option is to jump off of a cliff.

[ParadoxLost]

I was half watching a reality show.  I had no idea that grooms / jewelry store puts an led light into the top of a ring box so the ring sparkles when proposing.  I still don't know if this is a real thing or a tv thing.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Its probably a TV thing. Unless you're on a reality show, or in a Jared commercial, random people do not care what ring you bought for your intended fiancee.

[shapeshifter]

A List of Things Learned from Watching Sharknado 3: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3899796/board/flat/246432931

[merylinkid]

That. Was. Hilarious.   

 

Just one quibble, not everyone who tweeted about Sharknado thought it was the best ever.   I was losing it.  Capitol Weather Gang (hey it was a Sharknado that fell into their purview) apologized for tweeting about it.

[bmoore4026]

Men rarely wear pajamas to bed.  Or a t-shirt.  Unless they are fat, then they do.

[Joe]

I always wear boxers, but put more on if it's a cold night.

[roamyn]

What I learned from the History Channel was that more people walk to work in Alaska than all the other (US)states combined.

And that there are millions of Alien races that were interested in Earth, before you know, EVOLUTION.

Edited October 30, 2015 by roamyn

[backformore]

I learned from TV that in a restroom, If I am at the sink and a conversation starts, before I gossip about another woman, I need to check every stall to make sure she (or her best friend, lover, or sister)  is not there, overhearing me, ready to walk out and let me know I have betrayed her.   

 

Why have these TV women not learned this by now?   it's been happening for decades, and just happened again on Grey's Anatomy.   

 

Ladies - if you want to dish dirt about someone -  TEXT.  (just don't send the text to a group that includes the subject of the gossip)  

[Madding crowd]

That actually happened at my job once. One of my co-workers was talking about her new boss and then the woman came out of the stall and glared at us!

[ParadoxLost]

I never applied any critical thinking to cow tipping.  Never thought about it much really.  TBBT proved its an urban legend.  I was more bummed than I liked to admit.  I think its residual fondness for the movie Heathers.

[yourpointis]

Listening to Mike & Mike yesterday morning, I learned that the First family receives a monthly bill for food, clothing, etc. I admit I never gave it any thought until that point and just assumed everything they acquired while in office was covered by the taxpayers or some expense account that was set up for the First family. 

[Haleth]

The President is paid a salary and has to pay day to day (non official) living expenses for his family just like any other civil servant and yeah, it's paid by taxpayers.

Edited January 23, 2016 by Haleth

[AndySmith]

It doesn't matter if you live in a city full of millions of people. You and all your friends will only socialize at the same bar and/or coffee shop, and only at that one place. And chances are, that place will be close to where you work. But that's ok, because all of your friends all also work at the same place you do. And all of your long-term romantic partners, and the partners of your friends, will also be people who work at the same place all of you do (it might get a little incestuous as you and your friends will occasionally partner swap). Short-term romantic partners will be someone who also works at the place you work at but is rarely seen working there before and after the short-term relationship. If it isn't a co-worker, then that short-term relationship will be someone who at least works in the same field you work in (or some field related) and/or is a friend/roommate/old school chum of one of you co-workers.

Edited January 25, 2016 by AndySmith

[Sandman87]

Something I learned from a California's Gold episode about old horse-drawn firefighting equipment: The wagon that carried the hoses was called "The Hose Wagon". Sounds like it could have been the Secret Service code name for the presidential limo back in the '90s.

[zxy556575]

Drunk History has taught me an interesting mix of arcane historical anecdotes and how alcohol affects human brain function.

[dalek]

If I drop acid, I will inevitably jump out a closed window.

Edited January 27, 2016 by dalek

[shapeshifter]

If I drop acid, I will inevitably jump out a closed window.

Yeah. Never anything as cathartic as lying in a hammock and sobbing while listening to Janis Joplin songs wailing from a nearby window.

[zxy556575]

I watch more than my share of medical re-enactment shows but even I was taken aback to learn that so many women apparently never knew they were pregnant. Nor did their significant others, friends, family, or the ER physicians when they were rushed to the hospital with horrible stomach pain. The number of surprise toilet births is much higher than I had imagined as well.

 

And a good many of these women had been pregnant before! Still boggles.

[meep.meep]

I learned how to protect myself if I am ever attacked by a shark.  Shark Week is very educational!

[Moose135]

Shark Week is very educational!

 

Yes it is - I've learned I never want to go in the ocean again!