Snark Should Be Multiplied, Not Divided: General Show Discussion

[CofCinci]

They do the show because they have almost $2,000,000 in mortgages. That's the actual mission. I'm fairly confident that Meri's house will go on the market sometime this year (or they'll quietly lease it).

Are the fans buying their bullshit marriage-for-adoption excuse?

[DanaMB]

They do the show because they have almost $2,000,000 in mortgages. That's the actual mission. I'm fairly confident that Meri's house will go on the market sometime this year (or they'll quietly lease it).

Are the fans buying their bullshit marriage-for-adoption excuse?

 

 

From what I see elsewhere, yes. It's embarrassing.

[islandgal140]

 

According to public records: Meri's house--$477,017; Robyn's--$475,039; Janelle's--$443,700; Christine's--$443,315. For a whopping total of $1,779,071.

Interesting to see that Meri's house is worth the most. I guess that wet bar does add value. LOL!

[Absolom]

That's terrible that the gung ho fans can't see how illogical it is to get divorced based on vague thoughts that Jessop will give up his parental rights.  

[SunnyBeBe]

What are the chances of Robyn's kids' bio dad digging his heels in to assert his parental rights after getting that kind of dis on their tv show?   I don't know if any of the allegations Robyn makes about the man are true or not, but it does seem like she wants to wash him away.  It's like her tag line says, They should have been together from the start.  

 

If something happens to Kody and Robyn, where do the kids go to live, assuming Kody has adopted the 3 older ones?  Meri, Janelle, Christine or Robyn's or Kody's parents?   

 

Janelle has always been a favorite of mine, but this season, it seems like she's turned out to be a very selfish and stubborn person.  It's not appealing, IMO.  Maybe I was wrong about her.

[BlackWidow]

What are the chances of Robyn's kids' bio dad digging his heels in to assert his parental rights after getting that kind of dis on their tv show?   I don't know if any of the allegations Robyn makes about the man are true or not, but it does seem like she wants to wash him away.  It's like her tag line says, They should have been together from the start.  

 

If something happens to Kody and Robyn, where do the kids go to live, assuming Kody has adopted the 3 older ones?  Meri, Janelle, Christine or Robyn's or Kody's parents?   

 

Janelle has always been a favorite of mine, but this season, it seems like she's turned out to be a very selfish and stubborn person.  It's not appealing, IMO.  Maybe I was wrong about her.

In her case, being a bit selfish is a good thing, rather than being a doormat or an ATM , or someone to be used to get others on board with whatever harebrained scam they have cooking, or settle others down or be assigned a myriad of tasks just because they know she is good for it. I can see the others through the years treating her like 'you're lucky to be here' BS and wrapping it all in this:

 

'you're such a capable sister-wife, oh you're so reliable, good ol Janelle, good worker bee, never complains, you're so awesome!

Oh Janelle, you're so good at mending fences, oh how special and indispensable you are, don't you feel loved? Oh and could you do this other thing too, one of the kids has a homework problem, Oh and could you talk to Christine about blahblahblah, and call the utilities and tell them some BS so they won't turn them off this month? Oh you are just so great, whatever would we do without you ? [pats her on head, quick kiss on cheek, no body contact, plans dollar store decor party for her, runs out the door) Thanks hon! '

 

 Again, in her case, a little self interest is a very good thing.

[ginger90]

Perhaps Robyn' ex husband should assert rights he has right now. Assuming nothing has happened regarding all of this crap in real time, I think step 1 would be to refuse to sign permission for the children to appear on the show.

[SometimesBites]

Perhaps Robyn' ex husband should assert rights he has right now. Assuming nothing has happened regarding all of this crap in real time, I think step 1 would be to refuse to sign permission for the children to appear on the show.

I read somewhere (don't recall where...) recently that Robyn has full physical AND legal custody of the kids. If that's true, she can unilaterally make the decision for the kids to be on TV. I don't know why Jessop would have agreed to such a custody arrangement (non-custodial parents often have joint legal custody, even if they don't have shared physical custody), but unless the judge ordered it that way because of bad behavior on his part, he'd better make an offensive move, or he's going to get alienated right out of their lives, IMO.

Edited March 5, 2015 by SometimesBites

[lookeyloo]

Please help me remember - wasn't there some allegation (not sure of substantiated) of abuse of Robyn by the ex?  Would that play into why her ex has no legal or physical custody?  And would that have an effect on any court ruling?

[Zahdii]

Please help me remember - wasn't there some allegation (not sure of substantiated) of abuse of Robyn by the ex?  Would that play into why her ex has no legal or physical custody?  And would that have an effect on any court ruling?

 

I don't remember any allegations of physical abuse, but it's Robyn, the queen of revisionist history.  She managed to turn premarital sex into the ex begging for sex (and her finally agreeing) into almost rape.

 

As for the unheated trailer she lived in, mentioned before, at first I think it was presented Robyn living that way after the divorce, so Kody could appear to be the white knight and all around good guy who saved her and the kids.

 

The other oft presented example of her not even having a crib for her first three kids could simply be that they did the Family Bed thing.  I knew a family who did that with their first baby.  He slept with mom and dad, and it was easier because of the breastfeeding thing.  But they planned on getting him his own bed when he was no longer breastfeeding (which they planned to discontinue when he was a year old).  I lost track of them when the baby was about 9 months old, but the parents were already thinking about getting him a bed sooner than originally planned because he no longer slept through their sex sessions so they were having sex on the living room floor (they lived in a one bedroom apartment at that time and they were saving up to get a bigger place).

[Kohola3]

The other oft presented example of her not even having a crib for her first three kids could simply be that they did the Family Bed thing.

 

As I recall, Sol slept with her/them at least for a while.

As you said, she has the "gift" of revisionism.  Or, calling a spade a spade, she's a flat out liar.  I wouldn't bet 2 cents on the truth of anything that (endlessly) rolls out of that mouth of hers.

[Cherrio]

Interesting to see that Meri's house is worth the most. I guess that wet bar does add value. LOL!

Ok, in real life, how did they qualify for the mortgages?  It had to be only based on TLC money right?   And why were those stucco, cheap builder grade everything homes so expensive in one of the depressed markets in the country?

 When they lose these homes or try to sell them, the loss will be huge because the quality is so poor and I am sure they will be in bad shape do to so many kids.

            We might as well dub it " The Cul-de-Crap.

[Galloway Cave]

As discussed in other threads, the rumor is the builder extended interest-only, three year loans. When the three years are up, the women have to find conventional financing on their own to keep the homes, otherwise they go back to the builder and he will sell them. It was a way for him to build homes on the lots, let the market come back up and get a little free advertising. It is probably the reason why each home has a different room configuration and various additions, so there aren't four cookie-cutter homes at the end of the cuddle-sac to sell.

 

Re; the divorce decree. There has been allegations that there was something in the decree that Robyn was not allowed to drink around the kids. Now THAT is an interesting bit of information that would explain a lot of behavior. But I would also expect that the wording would more than likely say that both parties would abstain from drinking, rather than just naming one parent.

[DakotaJustice]

As someone who worked steadily for 40 years before I retired, it wasn't how much was in Janelle's retirement account, but the idea of withdrawing the entire thing that made me cringe in empathy. I read Kody did the same thing.

 

I'm guessing Kody had even less in his 401k/retirement fund than Janelle.  He's not exactly Mr. Saver. 

 

I cringed too because that piddly poo $10-15k could turn into some substantial money in 20 years especially with continuing contributions.  Since they both left their jobs, they couldn't do a loan - it would have been a straight withdrawal with all the penalties and crap added on.  or subtracted (minused!!!) as it were.

[SometimesBites]

The other oft presented example of her not even having a crib for her first three kids could simply be that they did the Family Bed thing.

A reasonable inference. Robyn was so misty about the crib she got for Sol, yet Sol slept with her, even when Kody did his weekly fly-by. Much ado about nothing much, dear Robyn?

[SometimesBites]

Re; the divorce decree. There has been allegations that there was something in the decree that Robyn was not allowed to drink around the kids. Now THAT is an interesting bit of information that would explain a lot of behavior. But I would also expect that the wording would more than likely say that both parties would abstain from drinking, rather than just naming one parent.

My best guess is that the decree demands that neither parent drink around the kids. When I insisted on that clause during the divorce from my first husband, it had to be a stipulation for both of us, even though HE was a raging alcoholic, and MY intake consisted of 3-4 drink a year.

[MonicaM]

 

I'm guessing Kody had even less in his 401k/retirement fund than Janelle.  He's not exactly Mr. Saver.

 

Realistically, how much money can someone save when you have so many children and keep adding more?  Those kids need birthday parties and graduation parties!!!

[iii]

Ok, in real life, how did they qualify for the mortgages? It had to be only based on TLC money right? And why were those stucco, cheap builder grade everything homes so expensive in one of the depressed markets in the country?

When they lose these homes or try to sell them, the loss will be huge because the quality is so poor and I am sure they will be in bad shape do to so many kids.

We might as well dub it " The Cul-de-Crap.

Turns out sister wives is the actual comeback of Arrested Development

[Kohola3]

Let’s see.  2 hours a day preening and hair maintenance.  Add in another couple of hours running from house to house on the cult de sac looking busy.  2-3 hours a day cooking up half assed schemes to keep the show rolling.  A couple of hours with the Concubine of the Day.  So that leaves about 7 hours a day to devote time to any of the children.  Divided by 17 that’s a whopping 14 minutes a day to spend with each kid. 

It’s a wonder he even knows any of the kids by name.

And on filming days I bet he never goes near any of them as he has to channel his creative genius and inner muse(pus time spent in the make up chair) to impress everyone with his wisdom and Persecuted For Being Polygamists speech.

I bet they don’t see him more than an hour a week.  Great qualifications for being an adoptive father…

[Persnickety1]

Just a random observation....

 

Why the hell are these people always out of breath when they speak?

 

Are they all that grossly out of shape?  

 

Even sitting on the couch during the interview segments, they all seem to be perpetually out of breath.

 

Just one more thing I find beyond annoying about all of them.  

[CofCinci]

Just a random observation....

 

Why the hell are these people always out of breath when they speak?

Lying takes a lot of work.

[tabloidlover]

I was going to throw it out there that all the too tight clothing makes it difficult to breathe.  Throw that in with the  layers, and they are all probably suffocating.

 

Edited because grammar is impor-ant... did I pronounce that right, Robyn? 

Edited March 9, 2015 by tabloidlover

[wifey81]

Ok so I have re-watched the first season of Sister Wives (clearly I have huge issues, but that's another thread)  and I think its truly sad what has happened to this family.

 

Apart from the obvious physical transformation, what is really clear is how broken down the relationships have become. In that first season, Christine talks about how when Kody got excited about bringing Robyn into the family she felt "that she lost her best friend." Can you imagine Christine describing Kody as her best friend these days?

 

Similarly with Meri, at the end of the wedding episode, she says that "right now I would call  these women my best friends." Fast forward 5 (?) years and she is clinically informing Christine and Janelle about her divorce. It would be laughable to see them pretend to be best friends now, but I think originally there really was a bond there between the three original wives. They laughed so much more then, and it seemed so genuine.

 

It was particularly interesting to hear Kody talk about how Robyn's kids would now have "two dads, and 4 moms."  He went so far as to say (referring to the bio-dad) "We're not trying to take anything away from him."

 

How times have changed.

[SometimesBites]

Ok so I have re-watched the first season of Sister Wives (clearly I have huge issues, but that's another thread)  and I think its truly sad what has happened to this family.

 

Apart from the obvious physical transformation, what is really clear is how broken down the relationships have become. In that first season, Christine talks about how when Kody got excited about bringing Robyn into the family she felt "that she lost her best friend." Can you imagine Christine describing Kody as her best friend these days?

 

Similarly with Meri, at the end of the wedding episode, she says that "right now I would call  these women my best friends." Fast forward 5 (?) years and she is clinically informing Christine and Janelle about her divorce. It would be laughable to see them pretend to be best friends now, but I think originally there really was a bond there between the three original wives. They laughed so much more then, and it seemed so genuine.

 

It was particularly interesting to hear Kody talk about how Robyn's kids would now have "two dads, and 4 moms."  He went so far as to say (referring to the bio-dad) "We're not trying to take anything away from him."

 

How times have changed.

All of this. I've re-watched the series a couple of times (although not recently, because the further we get from that first season, the more bizarre it all seems), and the first couple of episodes in the Lehi house had SUCH a different vibe. Before the wedding and exodus to LV, the way Janelle, Christine, and Meri interacted was actually pretty laid back. Granted, there's camera time and real time, and the twain may not ever meet, but there was a much, much different feel in their household prior to Robyn. SHE can deny it all she wants, but it's pretty damned clear. That's her worst fear though: being thought of as the interloper.

[Fosca]

I'm not sure how much of the family breakup is due to Robyn and how much is due to the move to Las Vegas.  Before, they were one family, all living in the same house, interacting at all hours.  After, they were in different houses far enough apart to keep casual contact to a minimum.  I think that's when the "lack of Kody" in each family became more of a big deal, and on top of the general upheaval of not only the move but "the guvmint is out to get us and split us apart!" really changed things.  Of course, the irony is that moving to "avoid" being split apart is actually what split them apart.

 

I think, if Robyn and her kids had (somehow) been moved into the Lehi house, she may have been assimilated and things might have continued as before.  I suspect the move destroyed any chance of that.

[BlackWidow]

All of this. I've re-watched the series a couple of times (although not recently, because the further we get from that first season, the more bizarre it all seems), and the first couple of episodes in the Lehi house had SUCH a different vibe. Before the wedding and exodus to LV, the way Janelle, Christine, and Meri interacted was actually pretty laid back. Granted, there's camera time and real time, and the twain may not ever meet, but there was a much, much different feel in their household prior to Robyn. SHE can deny it all she wants, but it's pretty damned clear. That's her worst fear though: being thought of as the interloper.

Yeah but as annoying as she is, we can't lay it all at her feet only. Kody was pretty douchey about the whole thing- I think I may have been misunderstood in another thread when I said 'they weren't starry-eyed youths' I meant that they weren't age-wise but they sure acted the part, which I'm sure made everything much worse for everyone else. One would think if you are the 'new fish' (sorry too many crime movies) you play it down, not up. Duh.

 

You know, we just may need a whole thread just for a Kody roast, where we rake him over the coals for all the asshattery he has committed.  For example, that "gotcha" stupidity on the vacation in Mexico. Seriously, is he like twelve? He acts like no one has ever called him on his shit before, and he can't own any of it.

[RealityCowgirl]

I don't like, and would never want to be married to, any of them. But it seems like a Joe Darger-type approach has the best chance of making this mess work (w/women dumb/gullible/complicit enough to play along, of course).

Real, human feelings are involved, along with a lot of complicated logistics. Game playing and childishness only make things worse, especially when the game-playing child pushes any blame for the chaos that unfolds onto everyone but himself. Most of this mess I place completely at this overgrown child's feet. He seems to mismanage - if not stir up - everything.

Lack of leadership isn't a lot better. In a "boring" monogamist relationship, sure. Two equals will be just fine (and for many of us, it's the ideal situation). But we're seeing that some in this scenario naturally are more "equal" than others. A true leader does his/her best to manage the inevitable and avoid the rest (e.g., insist on a system for everything, not play obvious favorites, squash trouble early, encourage parties to work things out themselves, be the tie-breaker when they can't).

I'm not at all saying that the Darger way is healthy. Heavens no. Just saying that the complicated dynamics of this kind of relationship simply can't be left to chance. Or doofuses. I'm surprised this group has survived as long as it has.

Edited March 15, 2015 by RealityCowgirl

[SometimesBites]

Yeah but as annoying as she is, we can't lay it all at her feet only.

COMPLETELY agree. The advent of Robyn coupled with TLC and a chance to have LOTS of money to waste was a perfect storm for this bunch. Add to it that Robyn came in under the guise of the emotionally wise relationship builder, when she is actually a manipulative control freak who wants to literally revise the family history, and hello ticking time bomb.

[MamaMax]

It occurs to me that the "adoption" reason is not true, but it's close. I think they needed Kody (for whatever reason) to have a LEGAL connection with Robyn's kids. As it was, he was their mom's boyfriend. There is no way to make a legal connection there, for the purpose of health benefits or anything.  He has a legal realtionship with all the other kids, he is their bio dad, name on their birth certs.  He doesn't need a legal relationship with any of their moms to be legally connected to the kids. But Robyn's kids are not connected to him in any way unless he is legally maried to their mom. 

 

Now the WHY, I don't know. Taxes? Health benefits? College finacial aid?  He can now legally claim ALL the kids as his dependants maybe?

[CofCinci]

It occurs to me that the "adoption" reason is not true, but it's close. I think they needed Kody (for whatever reason) to have a LEGAL connection with Robyn's kids. As it was, he was their mom's boyfriend. There is no way to make a legal connection there, for the purpose of health benefits or anything.  He has a legal realtionship with all the other kids, he is their bio dad, name on their birth certs.  He doesn't need a legal relationship with any of their moms to be legally connected to the kids. But Robyn's kids are not connected to him in any way unless he is legally maried to their mom. 

 

Now the WHY, I don't know. Taxes? Health benefits? College finacial aid?  He can now legally claim ALL the kids as his dependants maybe?

Married filing jointly taxes with Robyn provides for more children/exemptions than they did with filed with Meri.

[SometimesBites]

Married filing jointly taxes with Robyn provides for more children/exemptions than they did with filed with Meri.

It would be interesting to know how Kody (with his various wives) chooses to manipulate his deductions for the various kids. I picture it as a make-it-up-as-you-go proposition.

[AZChristian]

I'd think that Janelle and Christine file as single Head of Household.  The Head of Household filing status has some important tax advantages over the Single filing status. If you qualify as Head of Household, you will have a lower tax rate and a higher standard deduction than a Single filer. Also, Heads of Household must have a higher income than Single filers before they owe income tax.

 

I used to work at H&R Block, and it blew my mind to see the huge refunds some folks got as a reward for not marrying and having lots of kids.

[Galloway Cave]

 

It would be interesting to know how Kody (with his various wives) chooses to manipulate his deductions for the various kids.

You mean how Janelle chooses to manipulates the deductions. I doubt Kody has seen the inner workings of any of the various Brown Family Financial Documents ever in their marriages, except the original marriage certificate he had to sign with Meri. Janelle has handled everything in that family since she arrived. The first thing she said after the divorce announcement, once her eyes stopped rolling back into her head, was something about taxes. 

Edited March 16, 2015 by Galloway Cave

[GEML]

I have no doubt that both Janelle and Christine have done very well with the Head of Household and the Earned Income Tax Credit over the years. It would have been tens of thousands of dollars for their them.

[BlackWidow]

I don't like, and would never want to be married to, any of them. But it seems like a Joe Darger-type approach has the best chance of making this mess work (w/women dumb/gullible/complicit enough to play along, of course).

Real, human feelings are involved, along with a lot of complicated logistics. Game playing and childishness only make things worse, especially when the game-playing child pushes any blame for the chaos that unfolds onto everyone but himself. Most of this mess I place completely at this overgrown child's feet. He seems to mismanage - if not stir up - everything.

Lack of leadership isn't a lot better. In a "boring" monogamist relationship, sure. Two equals will be just fine (and for many of us, it's the ideal situation). But we're seeing that some in this scenario naturally are more "equal" than others. A true leader does his/her best to manage the inevitable and avoid the rest (e.g., insist on a system for everything, not play obvious favorites, squash trouble early, encourage parties to work things out themselves, be the tie-breaker when they can't).

I'm not at all saying that the Darger way is healthy. Heavens no. Just saying that the complicated dynamics of this kind of relationship simply can't be left to chance. Or doofuses. I'm surprised this group has survived as long as it has.

I get what you're saying, though we don't have many pubic families to compare- I personally could not keep up with any 'regimented routines' or always having to be 'yes my king , whatever you say blah blah'. They aren't perfect either, even if they work out more. I sure hope their little tyke that had a TV fall on her is doing much better these days. I saw the photos of her on their blog and was aghast. I think they just had another kid too, it is hard to keep track. But that group seems happy enough, maybe because the women are related somehow, or because they stopped at three, or didn't wait forever and then add someone out of the blue, but I'm sure they have their struggles too.

 

Even without getting into comparing families to each other, if you start something that is going to involve a lot of people, children,personality differences, money, risk, like say a business even- you wouldn't want to just wing it- there's too much at stake to have it all be about egos and cattiness - even though the compound and that Jeffs guy are creepy with the underage and forced marriages stuff- the bigger these things get it seems the only way to run it is like I don't know, a school or small business or something,meaning  you can't be flaky and I guess you can't expect it to be like an 'average' relationship, it almost has to be like a 'cause' or something. I use the word 'average' rather than 'normal' because some people will think I'm leaving some groups out, and that is not what I mean.

[SometimesBites]

I don't like, and would never want to be married to, any of them. But it seems like a Joe Darger-type approach has the best chance of making this mess work (w/women dumb/gullible/complicit enough to play along, of course).

Real, human feelings are involved, along with a lot of complicated logistics. Game playing and childishness only make things worse, especially when the game-playing child pushes any blame for the chaos that unfolds onto everyone but himself. Most of this mess I place completely at this overgrown child's feet. He seems to mismanage - if not stir up - everything.

Lack of leadership isn't a lot better. In a "boring" monogamist relationship, sure. Two equals will be just fine (and for many of us, it's the ideal situation). But we're seeing that some in this scenario naturally are more "equal" than others. A true leader does his/her best to manage the inevitable and avoid the rest (e.g., insist on a system for everything, not play obvious favorites, squash trouble early, encourage parties to work things out themselves, be the tie-breaker when they can't).

I'm not at all saying that the Darger way is healthy. Heavens no. Just saying that the complicated dynamics of this kind of relationship simply can't be left to chance. Or doofuses. I'm surprised this group has survived as long as it has.

I think the Dargers have more regimented family systems due to some degree to Joe's personal ethos of absolute control. If I were forced to marry Kody or Joe, I'd choose Kody in a heartbeat. If I have to be part of a circus, I'm picking the one where the guy in the top hat is too stupid and too busy running in circles to realize I'm quietly working things to my own advantage whenever possible.

Edited March 17, 2015 by SometimesBites

[purpleflowers]

Interesting comparison/contrast between the Dargers and Browns or other polygamist families for that matter. Another difference which I noticed on the SW episode when the Dargers visited the Browns is that the Darger wives seem to be able to handle the reality of their situation in a more straightforward way. They talked about taking turns around each other holding hands or embracing Joe when they are all together, and they discussed working together in their home and kitchen, and though they all had different roles and interests in the family, they worked together on daily tasks it seems. With the Browns, well I'm sure their kitchen issues need no mention, and they say they function best when Kody shows affection to nobody when it's all of them together. They really can't handle the reality of their lifestyle/family setup being put in their face. I would say that the Darger way does seem to have its own  questionable nuances, such as the controlling dynamic and the robotic nature of the situation but I get the sense they don't have as much of the suppressed emotions and passive aggressive behavior going on. 

Edited March 18, 2015 by purpleflowers

[SometimesBites]

Interesting comparison/contrast between the Dargers and Browns or other polygamist families for that matter. Another difference which I noticed on the SW episode when the Dargers visited the Browns is that the Darger wives seem to be able to handle the reality of their situation in a more straightforward way. They talked about taking turns around each other holding hands or embracing Joe when they are all together, and they discussed working together in their home and kitchen, and though they all had different roles and interests in the family, they worked together on daily tasks it seems. With the Browns, well I'm sure their kitchen issues need no mention, and they say they function best when Kody shows affection to nobody when it's all of them together. They really can't handle the reality of their lifestyle/family setup being put in their face. I would say that the Darger way does seem to have its own  questionable nuances, such as the controlling dynamic and the robotic nature of the situation but I get the sense they don't have as much of the suppressed emotions and passive aggressive behavior going on. 

ITA that the Darger women seem to have wrapped their heads around their life, maybe because Joe isn't willing to pussyfoot around the realities, and in Darger world it puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again. :)

[MamaMax]

Interesting comparison/contrast between the Dargers and Browns or other polygamist families for that matter. Another difference which I noticed on the SW episode when the Dargers visited the Browns is that the Darger wives seem to be able to handle the reality of their situation in a more straightforward way. They talked about taking turns around each other holding hands or embracing Joe when they are all together, and they discussed working together in their home and kitchen, and though they all had different roles and interests in the family, they worked together on daily tasks it seems. With the Browns, well I'm sure their kitchen issues need no mention, and they say they function best when Kody shows affection to nobody when it's all of them together. They really can't handle the reality of their lifestyle/family setup being put in their face. I would say that the Darger way does seem to have its own  questionable nuances, such as the controlling dynamic and the robotic nature of the situation but I get the sense they don't have as much of the suppressed emotions and passive aggressive behavior going on. 

 

And this is the problem I have with all the Polygamous families I have seen on TV, in books, etc…it only "works" when the women are  controlled.

 

I don't know if there is any such thing as a "happy" polygamous family in North America. I think there are women who have been convinced by the men in control that they SHOULD be happy…maybe even convinced them that they ARE happy… but I seriously doubt that a group of people (the women) who are regularly told to fight against and deny their fundamental human emotions, can be happy and fulfilled people.

 

I am willing to believe that, on the frontier, when men outnumbered women and women were pretty commonly widowed very young, there may have been a time when polygamy was a way to protect women and children. But this is 21st century America and I just do not think that anyone could be happy in a living arrangment that is so completely at odds with EVERYONE around them. I believe that's why they "need" The Compound. To be sure that women don't see what they can't have, and therefore control them more effectively. 

 

When you put a polygamous woman out into greater society, I just really, really doubt she is going to be happy.

[GEML]

Judging from the diaries and journals of the women on the frontier, I'm skeptical that there were many happy polygamous families then. Many did what they needed to do because they believed they needed to do so for their belief system, but I've never read a young woman's account that was truly happy. There might be one or two accounts from a much much older woman who was glad to have a home to be taken into as opposed to being alone and possibly without status or funds, but even there, early Latter Day missions were quite functional and generous no matter what marital decisions were made (estimated suggest that even at it's height, no more than a quarter Saints practiced polygamy on the frontier) so even those accounts are rare.

[SometimesBites]

My take-away from Sister Wives is that they are only truly happy when they are demonstrating how deeply they suffer for their faith. And that includes the grandmas. "Let's all sit in a circle and weep over the hell we've made for ourselves. Aren't you impressed?"

[BlackWidow]

My take-away from Sister Wives is that they are only truly happy when they are demonstrating how deeply they suffer for their faith. And that includes the grandmas. "Let's all sit in a circle and weep over the hell we've made for ourselves. Aren't you impressed?"

They probably are starting to realize just how screwed they really are. It's one thing to be poor, but say in love, or even 'in like' , multi-people or not but are in it together, everyone cares. It's another thing when you see some rich dude with his arm candy, they might be in it for other reasons, but it's not real love-she wouldn't be with him if he were just a poor schlub. I suppose it is quite another when you have billions of kids, you're not 21 anymore or even 30- you don't feel particularly loved, and you know you're screwed when the TLC money dries up- you figure am I worse off leaving or staying, either way you're screwed- and you have to see people being all gaga for each other and you're on the outs and you know once the gravy train leaves the station, you probably couldn't even get child support if there is nothing left to get, what the hell do you do? It's kind of a trap in that they're damned if they do or don't stick around.

[Galloway Cave]

My take-away from Sister Wives is that they are only truly happy when they are demonstrating how deeply they suffer for their faith. And that includes the grandmas. "Let's all sit in a circle and weep over the hell we've made for ourselves. Aren't you impressed?"

I would change one word in there- happy. They feel justified when they are suffering for their faith. I don't think any woman in polygamy is really, truly happy with being a polygamist wife. 

[MonicaM]

Seems like Christine is "happy" with polygamy in general because she has strong beliefs that it's right for her.  However, she's definitely unhappy with how her polygamist ideals actually work in the real world.  It's easy to talk about how wonderful it is to have sister wives, and how the kids always have ready friends/playmates, etc.  However, the reality is that there's jealousy and back biting amongst the wives, the husband has clear favorites, and the kids suffer from lack of attention and interaction with their father.  Christine might be the most unhappy of all of the wives, but her idealism won't let her acknowledge that the "big happy family" is a lie.

 

LOVE can multiply to infinity, but ATTENTION gets divided.  Both are equally important.

[Galloway Cave]

 

Seems like Christine is "happy" with polygamy in general because she has strong beliefs that it's right for her.

Which is so mind-boggling, considering her mother and aunt left the religion, her mother has discussed how unhappy her own marriage was, her aunt started an organization to help women leave polygamy, her great-uncle killed her grandfather, various members of her church advocate for incest to keep pure bloodlines, they repeatedly marry girls who are 15-16 years old (to this day, not just in the past), and of course the horrors of the Kingston/FLDS sects are well known to everyone.

 

Christine was plugging along in her activist role and rose-colored third wife position prior to the show. I doubt Kody would have taken another wife if they had not been signed for the show, and Christine would still be in her little apartment, sorting her pantry items. She may well have gone to Kody's planet thinking polygamy was right, despite all evidence to the contrary.

[SometimesBites]

I would change one word in there- happy. They feel justified when they are suffering for their faith. I don't think any woman in polygamy is really, truly happy with being a polygamist wife. 

Galloway Cave, I'd add that for some people, there actually is a deep, twisted gratification when experiencing pain, a sort of exaltation of suffering. That "happiness" isn't true happiness, but is the stunted shadow twin of happiness. Your point is spot on, and I agree with you: I don't think any polygamous woman is really, truly happy, either.

[SometimesBites]

Which is so mind-boggling, considering her mother and aunt left the religion, her mother has discussed how unhappy her own marriage was, her aunt started an organization to help women leave polygamy, her great-uncle killed her grandfather, various members of her church advocate for incest to keep pure bloodlines, they repeatedly marry girls who are 15-16 years old (to this day, not just in the past), and of course the horrors of the Kingston/FLDS sects are well known to everyone.

Well sure, but other that THAT, polygamy's AWESOME!

[Kohola3]

Well sure, but other that THAT, polygamy's AWESOME!

 

And surly monogamists can't possibly understand and CERTAINLY don't have the skills to practice it as successfully as the Browns.  They are pros in every way and we should be eternally grateful that they are sharing their amazing insight and wisdom with we, the uninformed and planet-less losers.

 

Gag....

[BlackWidow]

So, Christine is actually Kody's 3rd cousin. I guess that isn't too close, i don't know, it kind of still skeeves me out a bit. Ick factor even. If  someone can un-ickify it for me, please explain how they really are 'not that related'...

 

http://politicsrusprinciple.tumblr.com/post/111901504183/husband-surfer-dudebro-kody-brown-1968

[Fosca]

Third cousins share a set of great-great grandparents (you have eight sets of those), and have only about 1% of their genes in common.  That's not bad, but given how inbred the plygs often are, they might share more due to inbreeding.