Michelle and JimBob aka J'Chelle and Boob

[Future Cat Lady]

25 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes the whole thing seems like the Duggars have usurped the funeral, which I just find absolutely appalling. If they've been estranged for a long time and not on speaking terms, I seriously doubt his wishes were for noted homophobe Ben to preach his funeral sermon, for noted homophobe Jim Bob to be the one running anything related to his life, or for his obituary to remove the mention of his husband in favor of the vague spouse. 

Maybe it’s not the « official » funeral or there is no funeral planned by his husband and JB took it upon himself to save his uncle in death? 

[Zella]

7 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Maybe it’s not the « official » funeral or there is no funeral planned by his husband and JB took it upon himself to save his uncle in death? 

I personally find it hard to believe the funeral home would allow that. We had a pushy usurper who was a family friend of my uncle and aunt when it came to my uncle's funeral (she had all sorts of unsolicited opinions about how things should be done), and we instructed the funeral home that she had no authority, and they ignored her calls. If Tom and his husband didn't want a funeral, Jim Bob has no right or authority to swoop in and arrange one. 

[lascuba]

5 minutes ago, Zella said:

I personally find it hard to believe the funeral home would allow that. We had a pushy usurper who was a family friend of my uncle and aunt when it came to my uncle's funeral (she had all sorts of unsolicited opinions about how things should be done), and we instructed the funeral home that she had no authority, and they ignored her calls. If Tom and his husband didn't want a funeral, Jim Bob has no right or authority to swoop in and arrange one. 

I can't imagine JB paying for this funeral, but I think he has to be if he's taking over like this.

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I can't imagine JB paying for this funeral, but I think he has to be if he's taking over like this.

That's the only reason I can think of for Lawrence to tell the authorities to contact him. 

[sagittarius sue]

1 hour ago, AstridM said:

But why is a spouse required to report a death to anyone? Isn’t that their choice?

No, any death that occurs outside a medical facility requires a police response.  Officers respond, make a report and determine whether the victim had medical problems, and then contact the coroner who can decide whether to release the body to the family or if there are questions the coroner responds to the scene.

[Ohiopirate02]

30 minutes ago, Zella said:

I personally find it hard to believe the funeral home would allow that. We had a pushy usurper who was a family friend of my uncle and aunt when it came to my uncle's funeral (she had all sorts of unsolicited opinions about how things should be done), and we instructed the funeral home that she had no authority, and they ignored her calls. If Tom and his husband didn't want a funeral, Jim Bob has no right or authority to swoop in and arrange one. 

I can't really think of a funeral home where the great-nephew of the deceased would be able to swoop on in and plan the whole funeral himself while leaving someone else to foot the bill.  It doesn't work that way.  The funeral home is going to follow an arrangement decided upon by the deceased before death and state law.  And, many an undertaker can regale you with stories about how various family members, friends and even affair partners have tried to circumvent state laws because they know what the deceased wanted better than the person legally entrusted with making said decisions and even the deceased when it comes to the pre-planned ones.  

JB and Ben could plan their own funeral for Tom, but his remains would be dealt with per his husband's directive.  A body is not a requirement for a funeral if you want to plan and pay for it yourself.  

Edited June 28, 2023 by Ohiopirate02

[sagittarius sue]

2 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I can't really thing of a funeral home where the great-nephew of the deceased would be able to swoop on in and plan the whole funeral himself while leaving someone else to foot the bill.  It doesn't work that way.  The funeral home is going to follow an arrangement decided upon by the deceased before death and state law.  And, many an undertaker can regale you with stories about how various family members, friends and even affair partners have tried to circumvent state laws because they know what the deceased wanted better than the person legally entrusted with making said decisions and even the deceased when it comes to the pre-planned ones.  

JB and Ben could plan their own funeral for Tom, but his remains would be dealt with per his husband's directive.  A body is not a requirement for a funeral if you want to plan and pay for it yourself.  

Funeral arrangements, hospital visitations, are primary reasons we now have same sex marriages.  Even back in the day with legal civil partnership, significant others were being ignored, forbidden to see their loved ones due to relatives of the deceased.

[AstridM]

35 minutes ago, sagittarius sue said:

No, any death that occurs outside a medical facility requires a police response.  Officers respond, make a report and determine whether the victim had medical problems, and then contact the coroner who can decide whether to release the body to the family or if there are questions the coroner responds to the scene.

Yes, but in this case, his husband was already present when the police arrived. 

[Zella]

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

That's the only reason I can think of for Lawrence to tell the authorities to contact him. 

 

1 hour ago, lascuba said:

I can't imagine JB paying for this funeral, but I think he has to be if he's taking over like this.

I'd wondered that too but internment there is free for veterans, as is the military honor guard. I'm sure the funeral home has some expenses, but all things considered, those arrangements are about as dirt cheap as you can get when it comes to a funeral. 

[Ljohnson1987]

I think there's something more going on with the police telling Boob that his uncle died. Also, Bin is doing the graveside memorial. 

[sagittarius sue]

1 hour ago, AstridM said:

Yes, but in this case, his husband was already present when the police arrived. 

It doesn't matter who is there.  Police are needed to determine whether it's a natural death or something questionable.

[crazycatlady58]

6 hours ago, merylinkid said:

that makes sense.   Otherwise it seems weird the cops would go in person to make a death notification of a death by natural causes.   They got better things to do.   

Then JB just took over as he does.   Probably didn't even check to see if the deceased WANTED a religious ceremony.   Just did what he wanted.

The police came and notified me that my sep father had died. They left a note on the door. I did not have a phone and my mother said she had no way to contact me. Well, she could have driven thee 10 miles into town and come to where I worked but that's another conversion.  So yes ,at one point in time they did.

[Salacious Kitty]

42 minutes ago, Zella said:

 

I'd wondered that too but internment there is free for veterans, as is the military honor guard. I'm sure the funeral home has some expenses, but all things considered, those arrangements are about as dirt cheap as you can get when it comes to a funeral. 

Didn't realize he got free internment for being a veteran. I still wonder if they were living frugally on social security and possibly VA benefits? Hopefully, one of them had a pension or some kind of 401k to draw from to pay JB back for what seems to be his outlay. 

[GeeGolly]

My parents are both buried in a veteran's cemetery which has a very, very low flat fee. But we still needed caskets, cremation, etc, so the funeral parlor fees were very costly.

[CalicoKitty]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

My parents are both buried in a veteran's cemetery which has a very, very low flat fee. But we still needed caskets, cremation, etc, so the funeral parlor fees were very costly.

I don't remember if my dad's casket was paid for, or if we bought it.  It had a canvas-like covering, so maybe it was a government issue but I'm not sure. It was fine because it was covered with a flag during the service.  The headstone and engraving was paid for.  But, as you mentioned, there were a lot of other fees and services that we had to cover.

[Zella]

If Jim Bob is in fact footing the bill, I have no doubt that he is picking the absolute cheapest option for everything. 

[sagittarius sue]

My parents were both buried at the Vets Cemetery.  My dad had a casket and that was a fairly pricey funeral.  My mother was cremated (she didn't want anyone viewing her after death), and paid for it in advance except for the urn which we provided.

Previously, my mom had asked where I intended to spread her ashes, and lightheartedly I said over the lake in her WI hometown.  She surprised me, and said that she'd like that.  Later she told me that she wanted to be by dad. 

[Tuxcat]

If Tom died at his home, then why did Lawrence ask the police to go tell JB? That is the central question. Because if sources are correct, Tom was estranged from JB (and Mary and Deanna). So why did Lawrence a) want them notified by the police and b) allow them to plan this funeral?

There is zero benefit for JB. Why would he swoop in to take over this guys funeral. JB is a cheap a$$. There is no way he would try to go in and assume this debt. And he's not using it as an opportunity to spread his homophobic rhetoric - how many people are attending this thing? LOL. Ten?

Consider our sources... Deanna and Amy who are not only estranged from Tom - but also never talk to the Duggars either. They know nothing and yet act like experts. And then Ms. Balls who has been known to lie, cheat and steal...

Edited June 28, 2023 by Tuxcat

[Salacious Kitty]

In this case, KJ came with receipts. 

[Tuxcat]

8 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

In this case, KJ came with receipts. 

Except aren't the receipts from questionable sources themselves?

Edited June 28, 2023 by Tuxcat

[Salacious Kitty]

9 minutes ago, Tuxcat said:

Except aren't the receipts from questionable sources themselves?

No, she posted the police report she got through FOIA. 

[Tuxcat]

5 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

No, she posted the police report she got through FOIA. 

Yes, we know about the police report. But it does not answer any of the larger questions. She has attempted to fill in gaps with her theories but none of those are supported by any reputable source. All we know is that Tom died at home. Lawrence was there. Somehow the police contacted JB and Ben is presiding.

[Salacious Kitty]

Just now, Tuxcat said:

Yes, we know about the police report. But it does not answer any of the larger questions. She has attempted to fill in gaps with her theories but none of those are supported by any reputable source. All we know is that Tom died at home. Lawrence was there. Somehow the police contacted JB and Ben is presiding.

I don't think she's filled in any gaps of knowledge with filler, but I haven't checked her Instagram today, so I may be mistaken.

We all have the same questions. 

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, sagittarius sue said:

It doesn't matter who is there.  Police are needed to determine whether it's a natural death or something questionable.

Right. I understand the police showing up to the house of the deceased. But his husband was there, so no need for the police to inform any other relatives. 

[sagittarius sue]

1 minute ago, AstridM said:

Right. I understand the police showing up to the house of the deceased. But his husband was there, so no need for the police to inform any other relatives. 

OK, it took a while to realize that we were probably talking at cross-purposes.  😃

[Salacious Kitty]

9 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Right. I understand the police showing up to the house of the deceased. But his husband was there, so no need for the police to inform any other relatives. 

From the police report, it appears that Lawrence requested that they contact JB. Why is still anyone's best guess.

[Heathen]

If they weren't legally married, Lawrence (or Lawerence) may not have had legal rights to make funeral decisions. And whoever wrote the obituary might not have wanted to call him husband if he wasn't legally his husband. Just a couple thoughts.

Since it's a graveside service, maybe they just wanted a quick Lord's Prayer and out, thus they picked someone they wouldn't have to pay. Funerals are obscenely expensive. We'll never know the full story. 

[Salacious Kitty]

22 minutes ago, Heathen said:

If they weren't legally married, Lawrence (or Lawerence) may not have had legal rights to make funeral decisions. And whoever wrote the obituary might not have wanted to call him husband if he wasn't legally his husband. Just a couple thoughts.

Since it's a graveside service, maybe they just wanted a quick Lord's Prayer and out, thus they picked someone they wouldn't have to pay. Funerals are obscenely expensive. We'll never know the full story. 

As I understand it, they were married in 2015, just days after same sex marriage was legalized. 

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

As I understand it, they were married in 2015, just days after same sex marriage was legalized. 

Yes per the state newspaper, they got a marriage license in July 2015, within a week after it was legalized in AR. 

[Future Cat Lady]

Wild theory here :

Maybe the husband told the police to tell JB because he doesn't have any contact with the family and wanted them to be informed.

That funeral may just be for the Lester family and the husband has nothing to do with it. Tom and/or his husband may have already prepared his funeral arrangments.

JB & co. are just doing their own thing at his gravesite.

 

[Salacious Kitty]

I'm still in the WTF zone concerning Ben Seewald officiating graveside. An astoundingly tone deaf choice.

[Heathen]

26 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes per the state newspaper, they got a marriage license in July 2015, within a week after it was legalized in AR. 

That's not information I had access to or would have searched for. It was just thoughts. None of us will ever know the full truth. 

[Zella]

10 minutes ago, Heathen said:

That's not information I had access to or would have searched for.

I got that just from googling their names together. :) It was one of the first results. 

[floridamom]

I would think Mr. Lester's living siblings would take precedence over an estranged nephew, Jim Bob.....but we don't know the details. I certainly hope that Ben can find the God's love in himself to perform a dignified, loving graveside service....not one of hell and fire from a vengeful God in which he believes in. I hope the decedent finds rest in his new life and is rewarded for any hardships he suffered from his family's estrangement. That had to have hurt.

[lascuba]

 

12 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

From the police report, it appears that Lawrence requested that they contact JB. Why is still anyone's best guess.

 

10 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Wild theory here :

Maybe the husband told the police to tell JB because he doesn't have any contact with the family and wanted them to be informed.

That funeral may just be for the Lester family and the husband has nothing to do with it. Tom and/or his husband may have already prepared his funeral arrangments.

JB & co. are just doing their own thing at his gravesite.

 

This is my guess. Estranged doesn't necessarily imply hostility. It could be they just were never close and lost touch years ago. It would make sense for Lawrence to want the family informed and asking police to do it since he didn't have a relationship with them and is dealing with his won grief.

[Natalie68]

16 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

From the police report, it appears that Lawrence requested that they contact JB. Why is still anyone's best guess.

Because JB is family and he didn't want to talk to that bastard?

[Zella]

3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

Because JB is family and he didn't want to talk to that bastard?

Honestly if I'd been in that situation and my spouse had relatives they'd been estranged from for decades and who'd made it very clear how judgmental they were of me and my life, I'd probably just not notify them. Let Jim Bob read it in the obits with everyone else. 

[Natalie68]

5 minutes ago, Zella said:

Honestly if I'd been in that situation and my spouse had relatives they'd been estranged from for decades and who'd made it very clear how judgmental they were of me and my life, I'd probably just not notify them. Let Jim Bob read it in the obits with everyone else. 

Same!

[AstridM]

8 minutes ago, Zella said:

Honestly if I'd been in that situation and my spouse had relatives they'd been estranged from for decades and who'd made it very clear how judgmental they were of me and my life, I'd probably just not notify them. Let Jim Bob read it in the obits with everyone else. 

Same. Or just send him an email or a text after the funeral. 

[Salacious Kitty]

9 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Same. Or just send him an email or a text after the funeral. 

Instead, JB got to PLAN it. I just don't understand. 

[Absolom]

My stepfather didn't want any of his relatives to know when he died.  I waited until the estate was settled, the bank accounts were all in my and Mom's names, and she was moved in with me to call his nicer sister.  I did think they deserved to know, but only after there was absolutely nothing they could do.

I hope Lawrence made the best decision for himself considering the deceased's wishes and that whatever Jim Bob is doing is at his expense and is not offensive.

[Notabug]

On 6/28/2023 at 2:11 PM, Salacious Kitty said:

Amy and KJ have made up. KJ talked to both Amy and Deanna in this case. 

I seem to recall Miss Balls claiming that she was going to go to Arkansas for FF trial and there was an indication that she planned to stay with Amy.  Amy came out and denied that she was willing to house Miss Balls in no uncertain terms and I think also said that she was not going to attend the trial herself, let alone host out of town lookeyloos.

As for JB's uncle, can we take up a collection to send a nice multicolor floral arrangement trimmed with a rainbow ribbon and flag to the service?  

[Salacious Kitty]

The service has already happened. But we could send the bouquet to JB. That would make his head explode. 😃

[auntieminem]

I was wondering how the service went and if the family took back the planning didn't let Ben speak.  

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Instead, JB got to PLAN it. I just don't understand. 

I’m truly flummoxed and upset about allowing Bin to be any part of it. 

[FizzyPuff]

On 6/28/2023 at 10:44 PM, Zella said:

If Jim Bob is in fact footing the bill, I have no doubt that he is picking the absolute cheapest option for everything. 

Well I hope when his time comes, his family choose the cheapest options for him too. 

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, FizzyPuff said:

Well I hope when his time comes, his family choose the cheapest options for him too. 

Bury him in an ammo box like Jubilee.

[Albanyguy]

It’s been reported that the uncle and his husband lived on a very modest income, but I wonder how accurate that is. Is it possible that they were actually well off? I’m wondering because the only reason I can imagine  Jim Bob getting involved to this extent would be if he smelled money.

[Stevie Nicks]

9 hours ago, jcbrown said:

Bury him in an ammo box like Jubilee.

You win the internet! Love this comment so much! *chefs kiss*

[auntieminem]

I was wondering earlier about the funeral and the only info I could find about it was from WOACB. She did have pictures the family had sent her so this is probably true.  His husband and family who he was still in contact with had a military service. JB and Ben were not invited (or any of Mary's family since they were estranged for many years). I am glad they were able to have a service with people who loved them.  I cannot believe the nerve of JB to try to take over the service. His headship is taking a lot of hits, he might have stroke. 

Edited July 1, 2023 by auntieminem