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S05.E12: Courting Another Wife


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Also, all I could think when Kody and Christine were having their picnic table conversation was that Kody despises Christine and she's getting pretty close to being over him.

 

So will Kody continue to treat her like dirt when they are on their planets in the afterlife?  I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend eternity in this relationship.

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Janelle getting up from the table made me wonder how many times she's done that when the cameras aren't rolling.  I agree that she should just keep walking.  She has sacrificed too much of her life and peace of mind to stay with the rest of these morons.  No wonder she is having so much trouble losing weight.  The stress must be overwhelming.

 

I just don't get Janelle.   She refused to participate in the group dance and she didn’t want to be part of their inane conversation (can’t say that I blame her).  Based on her actions, she appears to be over it, and yet, she isn’t going anywhere.  I’ve noticed that Logan doesn’t get home much; Maddie prefers to stay in Utah and Hunter is mostly MIA.  Can’t help but believe it's all weighing heavily on her.

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So will Kody continue to treat her like dirt when they are on their planets in the afterlife?  I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend eternity in this relationship.

 

Exactly, MonicaM.  My husband comes from an LDS background, and we briefly joined the church years and years ago.  Their big selling point is that families can be together forever.  Unfortunately, that is not a good thing for some people.  Also, they're still on-board with polygamy, just not in this life.  Probably more detail than anyone wants, but my mother-in-law was sealed to an LDS man.  He died.  She remarried another LDS man.  She cannot be sealed to him because she was already sealed to her first husband.  However, he divorced his first wife that he was sealed to, but it's my understanding he would have been able to be sealed to my MIL if he chose because, well, men can have more than one wife in the hereafter.  Not sure what's going to happen in the afterlife with the ex-wife he despises.

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Wasn't there mention of one of the Collier wives leaving Mr Collier (forget his name!) while dating him to marry someone else and having a couple of kids from that marriage before coming back to be wife #2?  I have to admit I was half way paying attention so I could be wrong.  I also got the vibe that the threesome was a palomory situation as others have said. What is really strange is not mentioning the two wives were sisters.  That alone is kind of suspicious.  The women kind of reminded me of the Manson women as far as looks go.

 

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I was the one who first posted the information that they are sisters. So- apparently Christine Collier stated on Twitter during the show that they are NOT sisters and are not related. I posted a question to The Principle blog owner to have her do some more research into the situation (that is where I got the original info). She is pretty meticulous with her research and originally posted about the Colliers in January 2013 and again this month, including that Christine and Victoria Daugherty are twin sisters from Ohio. She also had photos from their marriages and other photos. It will be interesting to see if she can get to the bottom of this. As someone noted upstream, they look more like fraternal twins than identical. The family may want to keep the sister part under wraps just to keep the ick factor out of it.

Edited by Galloway Cave
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I was the one who first posted the information that they are sisters. So- apparently Christine Collier stated on Twitter during the show that they are NOT sisters and are not related. I posted a question to The Principle blog owner to have her do some more research into the situation (that is where I got the original info). She is pretty meticulous with her research and originally posted about the Colliers in January 2013 and again this month, including that Christine and Victoria Daugherty are twin sisters from Ohio. She also had photos from their marriages and other photos. It will be interesting to see if she can get to the bottom of this. As someone noted upstream, they look more like fraternal twins than identical. The family may want to keep the sister part under wraps just to keep the ick factor out of it.

Interesting. I noticed that tweet as well. Not smart, if she's fibbing. Lying in such public venues (Twitter) WILL catch up w/you.

Edited by RealityCowgirl
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I couldn't agree more regarding the sentiment that Robyn must be doing something right to raise such a great kid.  And I know this will be a wildly unpopular statement but I would go so far as to extend that conviction to the family as a whole considering how great all the kids are.  I just don't see how all the kids can be so well adjusted with the often spouted "in spite of their parents".  I would buy into that if the well adjusted kid was an anomaly of one or two or even 5 but for ALL of them at least on the surface to be emotionally, behaviorally, and morally  happy, stable, and secure says something.

 

I agree. Most of the kids seem lovely. I'd have to say the anomalies would be Mariah and Aurora, the only ones who have every annoyed me. I just have to imagine that by and large these people are good parents; they're just shitty spouses/sisterwives. 

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If its [polygamy] so great, how come Mariah is the only one interested in signing up?

 

I would say that it’s because as the only child of the first and legal wife, Princess Mariah has a different view of polygamy than the others.  Based on what we’ve seen, Mariah is treated as a special snowflake and accorded certain privileges.  That the Browns divide their money by household rather than the number of children, is insane.  When Mariah was returning to Utah to attend college, she was given what appeared to be a late model Toyota Corolla or Camry.  Maddie on the other hand, is either hitchhiking or taking the bus.  What I wouldn’t give to see Mariah as a third or fourth wife.

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Based on what we’ve seen, Mariah is treated as a special snowflake

Speaking of the Special Snowflake, after someone mentioned seeing Mariah in this episode when Aspyn was talking about falling out of the raft, I went looking and saw her in several spots. There is a moment (before Aspyn fell out) when Mariah can be seen in the very front of the raft Meri's in; she's dangling one leg out the nose of the boat like a ship's figurehead. Then she's standing behind Aspyn when Aspyn jokes about falling out. Finally, there is a moment when the kids are standing on a big rock over the river; Mariah holds her nose and jumps in. When I first saw it, I thought I was seeing Mykelti, but it's definitely Mariah, and she is BIG. Her clothes are wet and sticking to her, and she has the physique of an older woman who has had several children...okay, she could be my body double! But I'm 58 and have had 5 kids. She's so young. Honestly, I hope she's able to get a handle on this now; it's so much harder as we age.

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Alrighty then. The Principle blog owner has done some more digging and is now finding a different last name for Christine (Bilodeau). They are NOT sisters. And apparently I wasn't the only one who asked her the question too! So my bad for bringing that information over here without a little more confirmation.  She also did some more digging into Nathan's family and the family was LDS only going back to his mom and dad (Baptist before that). Looking more and more like that revelation that Nathan had was more about polyamory rather than polygamy.

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Bigamy is two or more state-recognized marriages.  The Browns only have one legal marriage (Kodoofus and Meri) and the rest are all "spiritual". Bigamy is illegal.

 

 

OK, this is something I've never really understood.  How can you have two "state-recognized marriages"?  Isn't part of the reason you have to get a marriage license so they can verify if you're already legally married?  I guess maybe the states don't talk to each other, and there's no way for one state to know if someone has a legal marriage in another state?  Therefore, you could have recognized marriages in several states?  That's the only way this makes sense to me.

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OK, this is something I've never really understood.  How can you have two "state-recognized marriages"?  Isn't part of the reason you have to get a marriage license so they can verify if you're already legally married?  I guess maybe the states don't talk to each other, and there's no way for one state to know if someone has a legal marriage in another state?  Therefore, you could have recognized marriages in several states?  That's the only way this makes sense to me.

People lie. They apply for marriage licenses even though they're married to someone else. They get married, and these are then "state-recognized marriages." It's probably a lot harder to do these days within a state, but I doubt there's a lot of cross-state database checking for marriage license applications. Had a relative (great uncle or something) who was a bigamist. The proverbial traveling salesman. He was eventually caught and did time in prison. If they are discovered, the same rules apply as for polygamous marriages - only the first marriage is legally recognized.

Edited by clanstarling
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The Principle blog owner has done some more digging and is now finding a different last name for Christine (Bilodeau). They are NOT sisters.

They REALLY look related--so much so that it seems more extreme than Goober Collier's type preference; it's like they are going out of their way to look alike, probably at his behest, and the whole trio makes my skin want to crawl off in a corner and suck its thumb.

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Janelle getting up from the table made me wonder how many times she's done that when the cameras aren't rolling.  I agree that she should just keep walking.  She has sacrificed too much of her life and peace of mind to stay with the rest of these morons.  No wonder she is having so much trouble losing weight.  The stress must be overwhelming.

 

I go back and forth with Janelle.  I don't blame her at all for getting up and walking away while they're on camera.  I can't excuse her for walking away in real life.  How does that accomplish anything?  She walks away from her battles with Meri early in their lives, then goes on to passive-aggressively give it back to Meri for years after.  She admits to eating her emotions.  She's actually the one who most consistently backs up Kody (when not PMS related), and this helps him puff up like the little banty rooster that he is.  I've found that it's often the convert who becomes the true fanatic.

 

I couldn't agree more regarding the sentiment that Robyn must be doing something right to raise such a great kid.  And I know this will be a wildly unpopular statement but I would go so far as to extend that conviction to the family as a whole considering how great all the kids are.  I just don't see how all the kids can be so well adjusted with the often spouted "in spite of their parents".  I would buy into that if the well adjusted kid was an anomaly of one or two or even 5 but for ALL of them at least on the surface to be emotionally, behaviorally, and morally  happy, stable, and secure says something.

 

I agree that Robyn and the Browns are very good with Dayton.  I would argue that Dayton is Robyn's favorite. Meri especially is very defensive of Robyn's kids - we saw the tail end of Meri reaming out some of the kids for picking on the step-siblings.  I actually admire how Kody embraced and nurtured Robyn's kids.  The problem is, it comes at the detriment of the Brown children.

 

As to whether Robyn did or didn't pressure Dayton (I believe she didn't) and how she stated he needed to be alone and then went to him - I would imagine his mother knows him better than viewers of the show, and being alone away from a huge pack of loud Browns doesn't necessarily mean he needs to be away from his mother.  I was once in a situation where I was in a large two bedroom condo with four other adults, and four children.  My twelve-year old cousin (who clearly had some undiagnosed issues) was discovered (by me) inside of a closet.  It just broke my heart.  The chaos had driven him in there, but he appreciated my calm, quiet company.

 

I did learn something about polygamy from this show- I realized I have a lot more respect for the LDS church that I thought I did for excommunicating this guy! Way to go LDS church! 

 

I think any church would excommunicate polygamists.  LDS only ended polygamy to be granted statehood.  They do not disavow Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and other pioneer polygamists.  They make up ridiculous stories that these men simply took in destitute widows and children.  As I once said on TWoP - Men can provide care to widows and children without having sex with them.  What a crock.

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They REALLY look related--so much so that it seems more extreme than Goober Collier's type preference; it's like they are going out of their way to look alike, probably at his behest, and the whole trio makes my skin want to crawl off in a corner and suck its thumb.

 

Agree. I wouldn't have been shocked if they truly were sisters, but I was thinking cousins at best. It's not uncommon for people from these circles to be related, even if distantly. 

 

As to whether Robyn did or didn't pressure Dayton (I believe she didn't) and how she stated he needed to be alone and then went to him - I would imagine his mother knows him better than viewers of the show, and being alone away from a huge pack of loud Browns doesn't necessarily mean he needs to be away from his mother.

 

I agree that he probably wouldn't have minded his mother coming to check on him. It's the camera crew I question. I don't know what it feels like to be autistic, and I don't know exactly how many people carrying what equipment went over there, but I can't imagine he would prefer anyone else sticking their face in such a small area as a minivan, while he was having a private conversation with his mother. I also feel that the cameras MAY have contributed to him deciding to do something he wasn't quite yet ready for. Again, it all worked out in the end and he was definitely proud of himself, as were his siblings. And that was nice to see. But I still believe if it were me, I would have told the crew to hang back while I went and checked on my son. 

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Agreeing that it is odd that the kids seem pretty OK and the women seem so messed up.

Although maybe they are only messed up in connection to Kody and the marriage. Perhaps separately, they are pretty decent and OK women. Like KODY is their trip wire. Anything to do with KODY, his actions and words, sets them all off into a tailspin.

Kody seems to bring out the worst in the women, not the best. That's my issue with polygamy as we have seen it on TV and read about it in some books. They claim it makes you a better person but the viewers aren't seeing that at all. We see women who loose it, are spiteful, jealous, emotional, bitter and miserable any time they are around the husband and most of the sisterwives.

I think a marriage should bring out the best of you, not the worst.

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Who the hell died and made Kody the Gordon Ramsey of polygamy?? Who the hell is he to go around checking up on plural marriages and families and see if they are doing it right, oh and other plyg families are trainwrecks? Kody is barely qualified to run the hose to clean the shit and piss out the RVs septic hoses let alone pass judgment on someone else's relationship and family life. 

 

Kody saying that he was not responsible for the emotional well-being of his wives is one of the most disgusting things he has said. EVER! Right up there with S1 when asked how he would feel if a woman had multiple husbands he said that would be repulsive and unnatural. F(#* you pig!!!

 

Blood relatives or not those the Colliers were creepy. I just got such a Manson family vibe from them, especially the Collier wives. They even slightly looked like the girls that followed Charlie Manson back in the day. Speaking of which, the 25 year old girl who wants to marry Manson also looks like the Collier wives. Creepy. Nathan speaking about lowering social expectations sounded more predatory to me. The true wife already had kids when they met and the 2nd wife left married and then came back. Reminds me of that MAD TV sketch "Lowered Expectations." It sounded like him saying: "if at first you don't succeed, lower your expectations." And that is how he hooks them. 

 

The Collier wives just seemed sad and dead behind the eyes.

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Sometimes I do have to wonder whether these women are all in plural marriage truly to be closer to their God as Meri puts it and be exalted in the afterlife. My feeling is that Meri and Christine are in it because they were raised in and felt that is what they were supposed to do in life. It is similar to how many people feel settling down and having children is what they are supposed to do because of their family's or society's expectations. I think Meri and Christine grew up seeing polygamy in their daily household and it seemed too foreign to go in another direction. Janelle, I feel, got in it for Kody. I think if she could do it over, she may have made a different decision. I'm sure she's beyond happy with all her kids, but its obvious from the past incidents that she has been tempted to leave the train wreck altogether. Robyn I see as an opportunist. She might have grown up with polygamy too, but I think she saw an opportunity to raise the status of herself and her kids. Janelle's daughter Madison is an example to me of someone who probably believes polygamy is encouraged by their God but doesn't need to be practiced to prove that belief. It's too bad the wives who are not suited for this lifestyle couldn't have adopted that approach. 

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The whole PMS thing is tricky territory to navigate.  I don’t experience cramps or mood swings or anything, so I am not speaking from personal experience.  But I do think there is a broad spectrum of emotional variability in this area.  Many women feel uncomfortable and irritated and some who are already bitchy no doubt use PMS as an excuse to ramp it up.  On the other hand, I HAVE known a few perfectly sweet and kind women over the years who really were transformed during that part of their cycle.  I wouldn’t wish it on anybody and I think it’s possible that Christine loses it on a regular basis, speaks her mind (the horror!) and they notice that it’s tied into her cycle because those are the only times when her mind breaks free of her submissive brainwashing. 

 

Based on her actions, she appears to be over it, and yet, she isn’t going anywhere.  I’ve noticed that Logan doesn’t get home much; Maddie prefers to stay in Utah and Hunter is mostly MIA.

 

 

I think she’s out of there (with her kids) once the show is over and she can cash out and get her own place.  If the houses have been foreclosed upon, her kids are still old enough that they'd be in school all day and she can work and they'll be out of the nest soon enough.

 

If Kody wants to visit, she'll be fine with that, because I think she does truly love him, but she won't live all together under one roof again.  

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I just got such a Manson family vibe from them, especially the Collier wives. They even slightly looked like the girls that followed Charlie Manson back in the day.

 

I actually knew one of the "Manson Girls," went to school with her.  And my brother dated her a couple of times.  She sure changed after high school! LOL

 

I get that the Brown wives think they need to live this life for religious reasons.  But why in the world do the Collier wives do it?  It doesn't make any sense at all.  And he talked about building a new house with "two wings" one minute and talked about adding a third wife the next.  Mr. Collier made Kody look bright, which I didn't think was possible.

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I see a wife or two leaving Kody as the season finale.

Jellybeans, that would be a great scenario, but I don't think they'll leave the Kode-ster.  As another poster suggested above, Janelle might get herself away from the Krew (since she actually has the tools to live on her own), but I don't think she'll get rid of Kody unless someone smart, handsome, and persuasive comes along to talk her out of the madness.

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I get that the Brown wives think they need to live this life for religious reasons.  But why in the world do the Collier wives do it?  It doesn't make any sense at all.

 

 

That is the thing.  You can at least understand if it is for religious reasons (or if you grew up with it) but otherwise it is for lifestyle and relationship reasons.  If religion is not involved, either some guy wants an "excuse" to sleep with multiple women or there must be some kind of palomory lifesyle going on with the particpants.  Otherwise, why would anyone do this...or I should say why would any woman do this?

 

I also wonder why the women on My Five Wives buy in to a lifestyle where they get so little from their husband (since they all seem to have some independence), but their family was formed in religion and they already had a family dynamic going when religion was no longer a reason for their lifestyle.  I can see how they would not want to change their dynamic at this point.

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And has anyone in recent history actually been arrested just for being in a polygamous marriage? Can they cut out the "cops are coming after us" crap?

 

 

I've wondered this especially since they bring it up so much I can't remember the last time anyone was arrested for it. Usually, when the cops do show up which is rare its usually when they've received a complaint about child abuse. If it turns out to be nothing they leave without ever arrested the parents for polygamy. Does anyone know of any case of being arrested for polygamy?

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You can at least understand if it is for religious reasons (or if you grew up with it) but otherwise it is for lifestyle and relationship reasons.  If religion is not involved, either some guy wants an "excuse" to sleep with multiple women or there must be some kind of palomory lifesyle going on with the particpants.  Otherwise, why would anyone do this...or I should say why would any woman do this?

 

 

All I can come up with is low self esteem.  The same kind that has women having kids with a guy who's having kids with other women all over town.  But maybe these women think that pasting a big "this is a lifestyle and I chose it willingly - you just don't GET it" sign on top of it makes them less baby mamas and elevates them or something.  

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I'm not an expert on their religion, but I remember reading that in the after life, the husband calls out the name of his wife(s), to live with him in his celestial world/ higher state of heaven. Is this why they are indoctrinated with the whole "keep sweet" thing? Because their husbands can choose not to exalt them?

Nathan's voice/the way he talks reminds me of a character from somewhere but I just can't pinpoint where....

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I wouldn’t wish it on anybody and I think it’s possible that Christine loses it on a regular basis, speaks her mind (the horror!) and they notice that it’s tied into her cycle because those are the only times when her mind breaks free of her submissive brainwashing.

Kody said Christine's behavior started about 5 years ago (about the time that Robyn came along).  Can PMS start that late in life?  (Serious question).

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Kody said Christine's behavior started about 5 years ago (about the time that Robyn came along).  Can PMS start that late in life?  (Serious question).

Sure. Could also be perimenopause. But what for certain tends to kick in about at that age is that your bullshit tolerance is just about used up. If she has to use the hormonal get-out-of-jail-free card in order to escape the consequences of saying what she actually thinks, that's pretty damned sad.

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Hormones can also go out of whack after a childbirth, even if it didn't happen previously. In fact, some studies suggest that post-partum troubles are cumulative, so that each subsequent birth presents deeper troubles.

 

Throw in a young new wife while you're pregnant, a television camera intruding on your everyday life, and a precipitous move to another state, and gee...I WONDER what's bothering Christine? Must be that dang PMS.

Edited by NewBaku
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Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't all of the polygamists we see on this and other shows only married legally to the first wife? Then they have a commitment ceremony with each subsequent wife. Why are they always freaking out about getting in trouble with the law? You basically have one wife and a bunch of girlfriends. What law did you break? I personally don't care. Live and let live I say. I just don't see what the upside of this life is for any of these women. They all seem miserable. It sounds good in theory, not so much in practice.

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Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't all of the polygamists we see on this and other shows only married legally to the first wife? Then they have a commitment ceremony with each subsequent wife. Why are they always freaking out about getting in trouble with the law? You basically have one wife and a bunch of girlfriends. What law did you break? I personally don't care. Live and let live I say. I just don't see what the upside of this life is for any of these women. They all seem miserable. It sounds good in theory, not so much in practice.

Utah has a co-habitation law that makes it illegal for a married man to have other adult women living in his house. It's an attempt to prevent polygamy, but I don't know how often it's applied. I don't know if other states in that general area, who have an abundance of polygamists, have a similar law.

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Why are they always freaking out about getting in trouble with the law? You basically have one wife and a bunch of girlfriends. What law did you break? 

 

Because hand-in-hand with polygamy are things like welfare fraud and child molestation.  The Browns made mention of Christine running the food pantry for the group at the same time they were all getting welfare from the state.  That's illegal.  There are many of these cults where the old horny men "marry" underage girls for the sole purpose of sex and call it a "religious tenet" (or as Sobyn calls it a "tenant").  That's illegal.

And, of course, there is the perk of never ending whining about persecution which makes for good press and TV for the idiot Browns and whatever other skeevy poly families TLC digs up.  But if they are arrested it's not for polygamy, it's for things that are either illegal or immoral.  Or both.

 

Too bad that bad hair, lack of business sense, or just plain stupidity isn't illegal.

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"I feel sad for Day'en. He probably is OK with his asbergers, but I wonder if the cameras bother him. He always looks sad."

I would bet his problem is being ignored. It's a big step from being 1 of 3 kids to one of nearly 20 & a new brother. The attention he got from Robyn on camera was probably the most he's gotten since merging with the Browns. Sad for any child and more so for a troubled one.
 
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"The Principle blog has the information on the family. The sisters are identical twins."

Twins? I thpught they did look a great dela alike....this is cool!  itmakes all the Collier kids siblings and counsins at the same time. Future fodder for the Jerry Springer Show.

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" Is Janelle still so hurt that Meri was bossy in the kitchen in terms of where the dishes go and so on.  It seems so petty.  How can they want to spend eternity together if they can't get past the foolishness. "

 

If eternity has no dishes, they'll probably do fine.

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"If it's not primarily about sex, it's usually about power, especially with men over women in these patriarchal societies.  In the past, Kodouche has tried to make himself look practially pussy whipped compared to other polyg men, but lately with his interactions with Christine he has not been walking the walk to go with that talk.  His paternalistic attitude with her has shown where the power really lies."

 

Yes, I was a bit intrigued myself being we finally saw how it REALLY is when the cameras stop rolling. He may be outnumbered but not overpowered.

In the case of Christine & Robyn, I always felt their need for a father was finally served. And, IMO, Meri got into sister wives to hold onto a husband

who needed "more". With Janelle and her male energy, she doesn't really need a husband ( before the 1/2 dozen kids )

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 "We've been told for several seasons that the Brown's left their 'church family', and their actual families to move to Vegas.  We've been told for YEARS that Meri, Christine, and Robyn all grew up in polygamy.  We've been told that Kody's parents came from polygamy and converted their own marriage to polygamy when Kody was a young adult.  We've been told they have roots in Montana, and Wyoming, and that Robyn's ex still lives in that area...why do the Browns' act as if meeting another polygamous family is so unusual for them? 

 

Why do the Colliers' say that they are all alone, when they obviously live close to either Kody's family or Robyn's ex? Why would the husband  thinks he can thumb his nose at the LDS church, and not get excommunicated?   Why would you continue to go to that church if you didn't believe in one of their core rules? "

 

 

mythoughtis, you have just proved that this show is not for the thinking person.

Edited by Rhondinella
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