S05.E09: Live And Learn

[LotusFlower]

I hate to say this but if Max was extremely good looking, did well in school, went on to college and was a real go getter (for lack of a better term),  Lisa would never bring up that he was 'adopted'.  I also hate to say it but I think Lisa and Ken are ashamed of Max.  They see him as a reflection of them rather than as a person who they raised.  Yeah, I'll go to the corner of shame for actually saying that. 

I think all parents do (see their kids as reflections of themselves). That's why they're proud of them when they excel, and embarrassed when they don't. That's why Lisa Rinna overlooked the mean and bratty things her kids said, and praised them for "speaking (their) mind." That's why Yolanda exaggerates the success of her mini-me ("model of the year"), and is embarrassed by her other daughter's DUI. That's why Caroline on RHONJ fabricated a learning disirder when her favorite son flunked out of school. So come back from the corner! (Or maybe I should join you?)

[copacabana]

I hate to say this but if Max was extremely good looking, did well in school, went on to college and was a real go getter (for lack of a better term),  Lisa would never bring up that he was 'adopted'.  I also hate to say it but I think Lisa and Ken are ashamed of Max.  They see him as a reflection of them rather than as a person who they raised.  Yeah, I'll go to the corner of shame for actually saying that. 

 

But before I go, to add insult to injury, once again, Lisa  had to give her props to Pandy in her blog:    "Pandora, although valedictorian, worked her way through college."  Yep,  Pandy was the perfect child.  Max, not so much.  Once again, Lisa, way to build your child's self esteem.  Pandy was 18 when she decided to go to Pepperdine and you said you moved to California so you could be closer to her.  Yet, when your son was having problems in high school (in California where you moved to be closer to Pandy) you shipped him off to Idaho to be taken care of by his godmother.  And you wonder why he's not ambitious and he has to decide what he wants for himself.  Great support system.  Back to the corner. 

 

I am right with you, breezy, in the corner of shame because ICAM.  Wordy word word.  All this genetic business of hers also begs the question -- Does Lisa know of Max's parents?  Is there something they all know or she knows that she's decided (thank God!) to keep private?  Or is she just assuming, in her snobbish way, that folks who give their children up for adoption are by definition shiftless, without ambition, given to vices, incapable of dealing with car registration, and prone to hook up with women looking to fleece them?  And that these miscreants produce miscreant off-spring who unsuspecting VanderTodds take to their bosom.  Seriously, so messed up.

 

There are plenty of young people who have no clue what they want to do with themselves at this stage of life.  It's a blessing, really, to have any notion of what you want to devote yourself to, ever -- not everyone is blessed in that way.  Stop putting his business out there and see what happens.  Beyond the lack of drive thing she's advertising -- heads up, future employers! -- she's also exposed his attachment to the much older, sexier girlfriend with whom he has problems as a way of suggesting, what?, that he's a naive young guy who doesn't know he's being pursued by a gold digger?  If this is love and support, no thanks. 

 

Part of me hopes that this is being scripted and he's in on the gag.  Pretty disgusting.

[mertensia]

Ryebread- yes Mt Lemmon is in the Santa Catalinas. There's about 40 houses and cottages up there and since water has to be trucked in or collected during monsoon there are few year-round residents. Mostly they are used on weekends and during the summer.

Is it that unusual for parents to say "you'll always have a home if you need it" when dropping your kids off at college? I have friends (none of them famous or with famous parents) who were told that.

[runforcover]

Is it that unusual for parents to say "you'll always have a home if you need it" when dropping your kids off at college? I have friends (none of them famous or with famous parents) who were told that.

No, it's not unusual.  There's no formula for ensuring a child's independence.  I mean, in my opinion, there are big No-Nos but that's not one of them.  This kind of thing seems to be about context, confidence and skill-building.  Telling your child he or she has always has a home when the kid has been repeatedly bailed out, minimized and has no sense of self/anything/consequences, etc. is probably not great or symptomatic of a more essential problem.  But if said child has sense of burgeoning adult self then it's a harmless reassurance.  I think, considering, Kyle is probably as functional as she can be, and it's not all that bad.

 Maybe I'm wrong but I get the impression, however codependent Kyle is vis-a-vis Kim/the world/her mom, she's self-aware and loving enough that she's not that tricky for her kids to read.  My guess is that the kids kind of roll their eyes but know they are loved.  Alarm bells don't go off for me when I watch her family scenes (except for the alarm I should set so I don't fall asleep because zzzzzzzzzzzz) .  Unlike any Yolanda scenes, which are always terrifying.  You could call that Bella shit as soon as the Gigi anthem started. 

Edited January 16, 2015 by runforcover

[EVS]

Regarding Kyle's comment: I think she just meant that Alexia could transfer to a college closer to home the way Farrah did. Quite a few of my friend's kids ended up doing that. I guess they were not as ready to be far from home as they thought they were. Many transferred to community colleges, which gave them a little more time to mature before going away again. I'm not sure the BH parents would be okay with community college, but I think Kyle would be happy if Alexia transferred to a 4 year school closer to home. Maybe Kyle is even hoping for that, or maybe she just wanted Alexia to know it was an option.

[escape]

Would that not apply to Lisa/Max then. He has been seen even less that Anwar on the show despite the fact that Lisa/Ken have been on longer. Kim's children have been seen more than Max as well.

Max was featured more in Season 1.  There was a storyline of getting him situated in school.  And he has popped up at Pandora's wedding, at Ken's surgery, etc.  His name also has been mentioned even if he wasn't on camera.  And obviously his role on the show has resurfaced this season. 

 

Anwar has barely been shown or name check.  Same with Kim's 3 older children.  But that's due to choice than anything else.  Being in front of a camera is not for everyone.

[Duke2801]

I wasn't referring to how many times Max has appeared on the show or how many times Lisa has mentioned Max's name. It's how she speaks of him in the times he is mentioned that I was commenting on. He is typically criticized in some way while Pandora is praised. 

 

Even when Lisa is speaking fondly of Max it's sometimes in a backhanded way like when she said that she used to be annoyed with him leaving his backpack around or whatever it was but then sort of missing seeing the backpack now that he isn't living there anymore. With Pandora we tend to hear compliments and praise. To me it doesn't have anything to do with Max wanting minimal to no participation on the show. It's the vibe that Lisa gives when she does talk about her two kids that makes me think she has a clear preference.

 

Also, just to be clear, I wasn't suggesting that Lisa doesn't love or care about Max. I just think there's an obvious difference in the way she speaks about her two children that betrays which kid is her favorite. I don't even think the race is close. 

 

I agree with you.  She does seem to speak more highly and praise Pandy much more in her Talking Heads.  With Max, it's usually more like "Oh I love him BUT....."   Which is funny to me, because in most families (that I know IRL) when there is one girl and one boy, the mothers seem to be more forgiving with the boy and harder on the girl. 

 

Yet, despite that -- do I have ANY doubt that Max has received copious amounts of love, affection, encouragement, and any material goods he desired from Lisa and Ken throughout his young life?  None whatsoever!  

[Duke2801]

Well this episode sucked.   However, it did make me appreciate my parents very much.   About 10,000 years ago,  I went to a nearby community college.  Once I graduated I got a job - 8 hours away from my hometown.   My parents drove me there, helped set me up with my new apartment & once that was accomplished they kissed me good bye; Mom had the teary eyes going,  Dad gave the 'be safe' speech and then they left.   No huge emotional scene nor making me feel guilty about my new independence.     YEARS later,  I found out Mom cried the entire 8 hours all the way home.      But she'd NEVER admit to that me at that time.  She was happy for me and didn't want me to worry about her.   If you ask me, THAT is the way to parent.   because I turned out fantastic  ; )  J/K.

 

THe off to college thing on RH  is so overdone !!!

 

Love this! 

 

I am an only child, and I could not WAIT to get away to college a few hours away and escape (what I perceived to be) over-protective and overbearing parents.  I was TERRIFIED that my mom was going to make a big Kyle-like scene when they left the campus.  But NOPE.  There was only one person sobbing in that dorm room lobby during the "goodbye" scene and yeah...it was not my mom or my dad.  LOL

 

Now, I'm sure my mom shed some tears on the drive home, but ya know, she never showed it in front of me.  The best part?  My mom told me a few years later that after I went away to school that the 2 of them really reconnected and fell in love all over again.  So it turns out me being away was the best thing for everybody involved!

[Baltimore Betty]

I could have sworn that there was an outside shot of an apartment building with a sub title that said, "Gigi's first apartment" did she move?  All the time and trouble Yolanda put in to decorating it and after one year Gigi moved to another apartment? 

So why didn't Yo pester her friends to paint tiles for Bella?  That shaggy white rug will be red wine stained with cigarette burns soon enough I am sure!   

 

When my daughter started college she was in a dorm and it was mandatory that all freshman buy the meal plan, about $3000 for the year.  Since her sophomore year she has been in apartments so between the rent, food, Starbucks, gas and electric etc...it is about $1800 a month, sometimes more depending on school expenses.  I am in no way in the same financial boat as Kyle but I make it work.  My daughter graduates this May but I think back to that day I left her in the dorm room...I smiled the whole way back down Interstate 95, I left behind a very self sufficient young lady who quickly learned to navigate her way thru the city of Philadelphia and excel in school, (I am quite sure I will fall apart at graduation). 

Mauricio really has a way about him, very calming, Kyle is lucky to have him be there for her but she needs to get a grip!

 

I felt second hand shame for Max when he had to talk about his financial standings on camera, shame on Ken and Lisa for doing that.  But honestly, not having insurance for your car is shameful, I wonder if his girlfriend knows he is driving her car with insurance?  We have to get emissions testing done here, don't do it and it leads to a fine then more trouble, not getting your registration renewed etc...which costs more in the long run, Max will wind up paying more money now to fix things, that speaks volumes about him, lazy or the "rules don't apply to me" attitude.  Sadly Ken and Lisa have probably been down this road a few times with him. 

 

Brandi is a nitwit.  Because Eddie and Leanne mention her name on TV she thinks she is something but doesn't she mention them on her show a lot too?  The check Brandi held up was for $1000 and she was complaining about it, am I wrong in thinking the check was child support and not an alimony check? So Eddie is taking care of his children and not obligated to give Brandi money, so take the money, make sure the kids have food, clothing and an education and learn to fend for yourself.

Was Kim there?  Good lord she blends in to the furniture, no story line, nothing to say at all.  Jennifer and the rest of them...paid friends?

[sistermagpie]

But before I go, to add insult to injury, once again, Lisa  had to give her props to Pandy in her blog:    "Pandora, although valedictorian, worked her way through college."  

 

 

I have to say, I don't buy this for a second. People throw around this term "work your way through college" when it's practically impossible to do that these days with tuition. But even if Lisa wasn't trying to imply that Pandy actually paid her own tuition, I would bet she just meant that at times while she was in school, she had jobs--not that she was out there paying all her expenses and working all the time. I think she's probably exaggerating a lot.

 

Re: the budget Kyle and Mauricio were giving Alexia, there's been some discussion about Kyle throwing out "getting her nails done" as an expense, but I took that as kind of a shorthand for the many many little things she might spend money on during a month that were a bit frivolous but not so extravagant they needed her to stop doing it. Getting your nails done, going to a movie, getting cups of coffee at Starbucks, haircuts, dying her hair, make up--whatever. I think it was probably just a shorthand for all of that.

[CaughtOnTape]

This episode was boring and unnecessary.  I guess because I don't care who's going to college and who's upset about it.  

 

Although I have nothing bad to say about any parent on this show, they all have their downfalls and strengths just like any parent.  I don't think it's fair to take a snapshot in time and make a judgment about how someone parents or which child they favor, that's a pretty serious accusation.  Max seems to be kind of a moron and flaky and I don't understand why Lisa's expected to sing his praises in her talking heads.  Pandora is not a moron and has done something with her life and therefore Lisa speaks highly of her.  That's a no brainer to me.  If Lisa were to sit in her TH's and talk up Max like he'd never done any wrong and was a wonderful, perfect child then people would be on her ass for being delusional about her kid, much like people are on Yolanda's ass for not admonishing Bella at every turn after her kid got a DUI.  

 

I think the only thing I can glean from Lisa about Max is that he disappoints her, she's worried about him and she wishes he had more ambition and drive.  My parents looked at me much the same way when I graduated with a C average and refused college.  What the hell was I gonna do with that?  While my older brother graduated at top of his class, was almost valedictorian and spent his entire college career on the Dean's list.  They were scared to death for me.  Turns out, I'm doing just fine and out of the two of us, I'M the one with the more stable job (and I'm in college now).  I didn't see a mother who favors a child at all.  I saw a mother who is worried about her kids prospects and what's going to happen to him when she's gone.  

[Bossa Nova]

Copacabana and Breezy, brilliant and insightful comments upthread regarding Lisa and Max. I totally agree.

 

And bottom line for me, is given the few times through each season, when ever Max has been mentioned, the very camera and image savvy, Lisa, has chosen to shown a light on Max's imperfections, versus Max's positives. In fact, I don't even know what those positives are.

 

And just for the record, that son in law, Jason, still gives me the creeps. While he has been on camera very little since the wedding season, I have from the beginning found him too tan and too smooth in his manner. Sure, he may just really be a Prince Charming with legitimately fine qualities, but I don't know. There's just something about him. It's almost Eddie Haskell - like. Too polite and too perfect when the adults around.  

 

And Pandy and Jason, both Pepperdine graduates, post graduation,  both just s-l-i-d-e right into the family business. Eyeroll.  

Edited January 16, 2015 by Bossa Nova

[zoeysmom]

Kim did look lost in that crowd. She needs a new set of (sober) friends, preferably ones who get her humor and quirky personality and will be genuinely supportive while also calling her on her shit. Sometimes that can make such a difference in a person's life.

This has been a reoccurring theme for Kim since Season 1-she refuses to make new friends.  Kim uses her children as an excuse not to make new friends. This year it is her dying ex-husband.  It didn't seem to stop Kim when she moved in with Ken and shipped Kimberly off to John but she will continually use her children as an excuse for not participating.  I think the worst possible choice for Kim is Brandi, as Brandi already has 13 BFFs and spends her time away from her kids partying or apparently stalking her ex boyfriend and ex husband.  I think Kim's anxiety stems from the fact she is just not all that interesting due to the fact she has packed herself away, stayed drunk for 20 years and she falsely believes people expect her to be entertaining.  So Kim tries the quirky and self-pity route and it just doesn't fly with these women.

[JAYJAY1979]

I think if the housewives use their kids for a story then the kids should have a talking head. I'd love to see what Alexia, Max, Bella, and gigiare thinking while the scenes unfold. It feels too one sided and incomplete without their input.

OC used to do this season 1 through 5.

[poeticlicensed]

I'm in the camp that thinks that Kyle should not have told Alexia she could come home if she wanted to. Would Alexia transfer based on one statement? Probably not. Did it do any harm? Probably not. BUT, it's important that parents really encourage their kids to give it chance. Too many of them have one tough semester and decide to transfer. And the first semester is probably the toughest.

 

My daughter went away to college as a freshman. Her first semester was horrible, She didn't get along with her roommate, didn't like some of her classes, her laptop broke, her dorm room flooded, her boyfriend from back home dumped her halfway through the semester. Every time she called me she said she wanted to come home and  transfer to the university where I teach. I knew it was best for her to stay where she was, so every time I got one of those calls, I told her I did not support her transferring, she needed to stick it out. By the end of the next semester, she had made a ton of friends, she was involved in activities, she had found a PT job and was dating again. She ended up graduating and got a great job in another state and married a guy she met in one of her classes junior year, I am convinced that if I had told her to come home after that semester, she would have done just that. Would it have been a terrible choice? Probably not, but she has told me she was mad at me for insisting she she stay, but in hindsight, she was glad I did what I did. Personally I would have loved to have her close to home, but it was best for her growth as an adult to live away. 

[CaughtOnTape]

I'm in the camp that thinks that Kyle should not have told Alexia she could come home if she wanted to. Would Alexia transfer based on one statement? Probably not. Did it do any harm? Probably not. BUT, it's important that parents really encourage their kids to give it chance. Too many of them have one tough semester and decide to transfer. And the first semester is probably the toughest.

 

She also told her she was gonna have so much fun and love college.  I think people are sticking on the negative thing Kyle said and not giving her credit for the positive thing she said/did.  Both of which far outweigh the ONE comment she made to Alexia about being able to come home if she wanted to.

[copacabana]

This episode was boring and unnecessary.  I guess because I don't care who's going to college and who's upset about it.  

 

Although I have nothing bad to say about any parent on this show, they all have their downfalls and strengths just like any parent.  I don't think it's fair to take a snapshot in time and make a judgment about how someone parents or which child they favor, that's a pretty serious accusation.  Max seems to be kind of a moron and flaky and I don't understand why Lisa's expected to sing his praises in her talking heads.  Pandora is not a moron and has done something with her life and therefore Lisa speaks highly of her.  That's a no brainer to me.  If Lisa were to sit in her TH's and talk up Max like he'd never done any wrong and was a wonderful, perfect child then people would be on her ass for being delusional about her kid, much like people are on Yolanda's ass for not admonishing Bella at every turn after her kid got a DUI.  

 

I think the only thing I can glean from Lisa about Max is that he disappoints her, she's worried about him and she wishes he had more ambition and drive.  My parents looked at me much the same way when I graduated with a C average and refused college.  What the hell was I gonna do with that?  While my older brother graduated at top of his class, was almost valedictorian and spent his entire college career on the Dean's list.  They were scared to death for me.  Turns out, I'm doing just fine and out of the two of us, I'M the one with the more stable job (and I'm in college now).  I didn't see a mother who favors a child at all.  I saw a mother who is worried about her kids prospects and what's going to happen to him when she's gone.  

 

The difference is that all of this is happening on television and television ain't Vegas.  I've heard some of the women say that after awhile you forget that the cameras are there -- I can't imagine that would include talking heads but, okay.  Maybe, after all these years, Lisa has simply forgotten she's on a successful national tv show and is considered a franchise queen.  And maybe the exposure has been so beneficial to her businesses and so gratifying to her vanity that it's just second nature now to put one of her kid's difficulties out there like she's chatting on the down low with his, let's see, mysterious godmother from Idaho!  Whatever it is, I hope this comes back to bite her and her adoring husband on their plush and clueless buttocks.

 

The sad thing is that, unless this is totally engineered, I can see old seemingly lost Max looking to "stars" such as Jax, Stassi, and the rest of that gang and thinking, hey, here's a way to make a kind of living, become a minor reality tv star, and keep my parents off my back.  Lisa with all her "I can teach him from the ground up -- This is what I have to offer" has proven to be either a) a fool or b) a shameless self-promoter.  Or both.  Bet you a nickle that if the kid were offered an apprenticeship at a genuine fine restaurant, off camera, he'd be scrambling to find something else to do with himself.  Restaurant work is hard work and, at the start especially, hard physical work.  He's looks to be a typical LA slacker-stoner kind of dude.  I'm not getting that this is his life's dream -- Waking up to find himself suddenly JAX! might be.  I'm sure the 30 some gal pal would also love to be brought in front of the cameras for a VR story line involving twue love and tensions with Lisa.

 

Whatever it is, it needs to be off the screen.  This is what happens when you start bringing these kids into the mix and making them reps in some larger conversation about parenting in the USA.  As if!

 

Just to add this -- There's been some perfectly reasonable and interesting talk about how all parents overlook their children's faults and try to hide them from prying eyes if they can.  I'm definitely not one of those and never have been -- I love my son way too much to get into any of that.  I also make it a habit not to take out full page ads in the local paper identifying all of the ways in which I think he may be deficient.  Or going on and on about whatever genetic predispositions may have contributed to those weaknesses.  She's a witch to have gotten into ANY of that on camera.

 

Kyle has some issues -- children with twisted mother relationships tend to get too invested in their children's lives and happiness as a way of trying to heal their own wounds-- this I know -- but, aside from a rather stagey looking breakdown in the hotel room -- I thought she did fine and, since they've got the cash, they can give Alexia as much as they thinks she needs.  And the proof is in the pudding.  Her children seem grounded, polite, and interested in finding out who they are and what they want to do away from this blasted show.  At this stage of the game, Alexia knows her mother inside out.  I'm sure that she sees Kyle's insecurities getting the better of her and is loving enough to discount the drama and get on with her own life without having to argue.  She may decide that U of A isn't where she wants to be, but if that were to happen, I don't think it would be because she'd needs to come running back to her mother. 

Edited January 16, 2015 by copacabana

[Mozelle]

That is what Brandi and Kim have intimated in the press - though Kim does seem pretty zonked in the trailer - I am really curious about this.

 

In her Huff Post interview, Brandi seemed 100 percent sure viewers would side with her in the Brandi/Kyle fight - but she has proven to be rather delusional these days, so who the hell knows?

 

Don't underestimate the folks who still project so much onto Kyle. 

 

Looking at the brief preview that's on Bravo's site, it's hard to tell because it's so quick, but it does look like Brandi puts up her right forearm (to box out Kyle? Block her from passing her?) and Kyle pushes Brandi's arm away. Brandi then tells Kyle not to fucking touch her while simultaneously pushing her.

[Reo]

These are the only two boys that require $1000 worth of groceries weekly:

 

I had the "pleasure" of waiting on them at a Howard Johnson's in Studio City before one of their late night appearances many, many years ago.  They each required two chairs (one chair per cheek), ate two full breakfasts each, and stiffed me.

 

I am so over Brandi and would like to see her gone.

 

Felt like this episode was essentially filler.  I did read the Bravo blog and was amused to see Kyle mocking herself for being a drama queen.  At least she owns it.  I'm also in the camp that if she regrets not going to college she should get off her ass and do it.  As a woman who didn't get her BA until she was 50 (and working full-time while going to school 12 credits a semester for 4 years), it was exhausting but worth it.  Quit whining and register.

[PhilMarlowe2]

I always reserve judgment until I see the actual show, but at this point, my money is on Kyle for being the sane one in this situation. And if you had told me I would ever be saying that as of two seasons ago, I would be checking to see if Hell had frozen over.

[Drogo]

 

They each required two chairs (one chair per cheek), ate two full breakfasts each, and stiffed me.

 

What do you expect?  They only received $1000 a week for food...

[ryebread]

Her children seem grounded, polite, and interested in finding out who they are and what they want to do away from this blasted show.  

 

I agree but I wish Alexia would have put her phone away when the Campus Rep and the Student Guide were talking.   Twice, very obviously, they were talking to her and she was looking at her phone while nodding her head or responding as if she'd been paying attention. So very rude. Sorry, huge pet peeve of mine.  Put the phone away for 30 minutes and pay attention.  I know it's a teenager thing but I wish parents would address it more often.  Problem is, most parents are the same way. Cell phones, the worst and best invention ever.

 

And...bike valet?  Ride your bike to class, a valet will store it for you and bring it back when class is over?? LOL Is this really a thing?

[CaughtOnTape]

The difference is that all of this is happening on television

 

A television show that is filmed for a couple days a week a few weeks a year.  I see no reason why Lisa shouldn't be honest about her struggles with her son and what she's facing considering it is what EVERY PARENT faces with their children.  I don't see why she should be discussing his positives while they are clearly showing a scenario in which he is not doing anything positive.  He has no direction and doesn't seem to be doing much to try to find it for himself.  It would look ridiculous if they showed that scene and then suddenly a TH of Lisa "But he's such a sweet kid who walks little old ladies across the street and washes my car every now and then."

Uh no.  He's currently a fuck up who can't even take his car to get the emissions tested when he's not doing anything else all day.  

 

My mother pulled no punches when I screwed up and she didn't sugar coat it to other people either.  Singing the praises of your kid no matter what they do, IMO, is more of a detriment then when you wholeheartedly let them know they've disappointed you.  This is why we have a generation of kids who clutch their pearls when their boss forgets their anniversary at work.  Who gives a shit?  You have a job.  Do it.  If/when Max gets a job, he needs to understand that when you don't pull your weight, you don't get the positive reactions.  Because I highly doubt any boss he WOULD have at another restaurant would hear his excuses for why something didn't get done.

 

Considering this is, as stated above, a television show in which we only see a small snapshot of their lives, I'm going to guess that this isn't the first time Max has walked in full of excuses for why he hasn't done something. Lisa seemed exasperated and done with hearing it when Max came in.  As did Ken.  That signals to me they've heard his bullshit before.

Edited January 16, 2015 by CaughtOnTape

[FozzyBear]

I agree but I wish Alexia would have put her phone away when the Campus Rep and the Student Guide were talking. Twice, very obviously, they were talking to her and she was looking at her phone while nodding her head or responding as if she'd been paying attention. So very rude. Sorry, huge pet peeve of mine. Put the phone away for 30 minutes and pay attention. I know it's a teenager thing but I wish parents would address it more often. Problem is, most parents are the same way. Cell phones, the worst and best invention ever.

And...bike valet? Ride your bike to class, a valet will store it for you and bring it back when class is over?? LOL Is this really a thing?

I could be wrong because I was only half paying attention to the tour, but I think that might refer to a type of bike rack. Some cities have them, it's like a pod that goes over your bike and it's much harder to break into. I think one of the brands that makes them is called something like bike valet.

IMO Kyle can be all up in her kid's grill to her heart's content, that doesn't bug me. The constant weepy tears do. Everything is such a production. If you are a different personality type I could see that getting exhausting. Maybe that's what someone unthread was seeing about Sophia. Of all the girls she does seem the least comfortable with Kyle's more actressy tendencies. I've also noticed that she looks like she tenses up when Kyle starts crying. She may just naturally get uncomfortable around big displays of emotion.

Edited January 16, 2015 by FozzyBear

[Duke2801]

I'm in the camp that thinks that Kyle should not have told Alexia she could come home if she wanted to. Would Alexia transfer based on one statement? Probably not. Did it do any harm? Probably not. BUT, it's important that parents really encourage their kids to give it chance. Too many of them have one tough semester and decide to transfer. And the first semester is probably the toughest.

 

My daughter went away to college as a freshman. Her first semester was horrible, She didn't get along with her roommate, didn't like some of her classes, her laptop broke, her dorm room flooded, her boyfriend from back home dumped her halfway through the semester. Every time she called me she said she wanted to come home and  transfer to the university where I teach. I knew it was best for her to stay where she was, so every time I got one of those calls, I told her I did not support her transferring, she needed to stick it out. By the end of the next semester, she had made a ton of friends, she was involved in activities, she had found a PT job and was dating again. She ended up graduating and got a great job in another state and married a guy she met in one of her classes junior year, I am convinced that if I had told her to come home after that semester, she would have done just that. Would it have been a terrible choice? Probably not, but she has told me she was mad at me for insisting she she stay, but in hindsight, she was glad I did what I did. Personally I would have loved to have her close to home, but it was best for her growth as an adult to live away. 

 

YES the first semester can be very, very challenging. It was for me, and I even had a lot of friends around. I didn't even know it until a few years ago, but my significant other (who I met as a sophomore in college) almost transferred after his first semester.  I was like, well, I'm glad you stuck it out---for you, of course, and for my own selfish reasons. lol

[FozzyBear]

Well I can't stand Kyle, Brandi, or Kim and I think all three have a tendency to become hideous monsters when they feel threatened, so...I'll get the popcorn ready!

[copacabana]

CaughtOnTape -- Whatever it is, it needs to be off the screen and the kid's parents are the only ones who can make that happen. The fact that this is now front and center their story on this dumb show tells me way way more about them than it does about their so-called son. The are enabling him at every pass with this airing of the family laundry for public consumption and all the tough love deflection is BS. Using reality tv fame whoredom to motivate your ne'er do well is, in my book, gross and counterproductive.  They are the responsible parties here -- nobody else.

 

Turn off the cameras, forget the anniversary tea party in pink roses heaven, grab the kid by the scruff of the neck, escort him out of the house and tell him to go take care of his car-related business and anything else he might need to take deal with.  If he wants to be on camera, he needs to take control of his life.   As in: Max, we are not giving you a forum for any of this -- simple and clean.  And keep the cross talk & promotion of your other detestable TV show out of the mix. The pearl clutching taking place falls squarely on Lisa's head. 

 

But it's enough already -- I've gone way overboard and don't mean to take it out on you. 

 

It'll be a blessed relief to get to the next chapter and see the ladies get into the usual drunken brawling, which is precisely the reason I tune into this crack.  All of these kids off the show would be just fine with me. Honestly, I'd rather watch Brandi go off the rails than have to sit through another fraught BH parent and child reunion. 

[imjagain]

I just watched the wine tasting clip on bravo, that was awkward. Kim should have missed it. I cringed when the woman asked Kim if she at least wanted to smell the wine.

The Brandi, Kim and Kyle poker night clip was pretty short, but Brandi should stay out this.

Eta: poker is not porker :)

Edited January 16, 2015 by imjagain

[erikdepressant]

Twice, very obviously, they were talking to her and she was looking at her phone while nodding her head or responding as if she'd been paying attention. So very rude. Sorry, huge pet peeve of mine.  Put the phone away for 30 minutes and pay attention.  I know it's a teenager thing but I wish parents would address it more often.  Problem is, most parents are the same way. Cell phones, the worst and best invention ever.

One of the best posts ever, ryebread.

 

Sorry for not remembering the details... Years ago, I think it was the RHoOC, the parents were lecturing their daughter on her bad behavior, and she kept checking her phone.  I think they had hired a "youthologist" to understand her or some such nonsense.  I would have snatched that phone and smashed it in front of her.

 

I notice that on RHoA, they are constantly checking their phones -- I think it's hoping their agents have found them gigs.

 

Google glass can hire Brandi as a spokesperson; she'll be able to have uninterrupted access to twitter and the goings-on of LeAnn & Eddie.

[Drogo]

 

And...bike valet? Ride your bike to class, a valet will store it for you and bring it back when class is over?? LOL Is this really a thing?

I could be wrong because I was only half paying attention to the tour, but I think that might refer to a type of bike rack. Some cities have them, it's like a pod that goes over your bike and it's much harder to break into. I think one of the brands that makes them is called something like bike valet.

 

Bike Valet Parking is a way that UA is encouraging students to ride their bikes instead of driving and to curb bike theft.  It's just a parking lot for bikes, really, monitored by a student employee.  $35 a year.

[Duke2801]

One of the best posts ever, ryebread.

 

Sorry for not remembering the details... Years ago, I think it was the RHoOC, the parents were lecturing their daughter on her bad behavior, and she kept checking her phone.  I think they had hired a "youthologist" to understand her or some such nonsense.  I would have snatched that phone and smashed it in front of her.

 

I notice that on RHoA, they are constantly checking their phones -- I think it's hoping their agents have found them gigs.

 

Google glass can hire Brandi as a spokesperson; she'll be able to have uninterrupted access to twitter and the goings-on of LeAnn & Eddie.

 

OMG- the youthologist!  That was for Lynne's horrible offspring right??

 

I will never NOT think of that scene and this classic SNL skit at the same time.

[jinjer]

If Kim is trying to get away from Kyle and the cameras, why should Kyle be hunting her down - again?  Same with season 1.  Kim had left the finale party.  She wasn't obviously drunk to the viewers.  She had a fight with Taylor and left.  We wouldn't know about her alcoholism if Kyle hadn't hunted her down in the limo.  

 

In this preview, if any of the other women were trying to hold Kyle back and said, "just let her go," I don't think we'd be hearing any criticism, but since it is the despised Brandi, suddenly it's a horrible thing she is doing.

 

I agree Brandi herself is a fool for thinking that she could mediate between these two women with a long history of dysfunction, but at this time in filming she was on good terms with both Kim and Kyle. I don't think there is malintent on Brandi's part for intervening.  It's not like she is trying to harm Kyle because of bad feelings.  Kim left for a reason, most likely not to be filmed while drunk/on drugs or not to be in a confrontation with her sister in front of cameras. IMO Brandi probably thinks she is protecting Kim.

[Avaleigh]

A television show that is filmed for a couple days a week a few weeks a year.  I see no reason why Lisa shouldn't be honest about her struggles with her son and what she's facing considering it is what EVERY PARENT faces with their children.  I don't see why she should be discussing his positives while they are clearly showing a scenario in which he is not doing anything positive.  He has no direction and doesn't seem to be doing much to try to find it for himself.  It would look ridiculous if they showed that scene and then suddenly a TH of Lisa "But he's such a sweet kid who walks little old ladies across the street and washes my car every now and then."

Uh no.  He's currently a fuck up who can't even take his car to get the emissions tested when he's not doing anything else all day.  

 

My mother pulled no punches when I screwed up and she didn't sugar coat it to other people either.  Singing the praises of your kid no matter what they do, IMO, is more of a detriment then when you wholeheartedly let them know they've disappointed you.  This is why we have a generation of kids who clutch their pearls when their boss forgets their anniversary at work.  Who gives a shit?  You have a job.  Do it.  If/when Max gets a job, he needs to understand that when you don't pull your weight, you don't get the positive reactions.  Because I highly doubt any boss he WOULD have at another restaurant would hear his excuses for why something didn't get done.

 

Considering this is, as stated above, a television show in which we only see a small snapshot of their lives, I'm going to guess that this isn't the first time Max has walked in full of excuses for why he hasn't done something. Lisa seemed exasperated and done with hearing it when Max came in.  As did Ken.  That signals to me they've heard his bullshit before.

My question is, if Max has little to no interest in participating in the show and this is the excuse for why Lisa doesn't mention him as often as she mentions Pandora then why bring up the negative stuff at all? Why not just deal with it off camera?

I certainly don't think that anyone is expecting Lisa to lie and pretend that Max is doing great.

As far as Max regularly being compared to Pandora in an unfavorable way--I can see how that might knock a kid's self esteem after awhile. Again though, I'm not claiming for a second that Lisa doesn't love and care about Max just that she seems to have a preference. On some level I think she knows it and might even be willing to admit to it in a "joking" way.

[CaughtOnTape]

CaughtOnTape -- Whatever it is, it needs to be off the screen and the kid's parents are the only ones who can make that happen. The fact that this is now front and center their story on this dumb show tells me way way more about them than it does about their so-called son. The are enabling him at every pass with this airing of the family laundry for public consumption and all the tough love deflection is BS. Using reality tv fame whoredom to motivate your ne'er do well is, in my book, gross and counterproductive.  They are the responsible parties here -- nobody else.

 

Turn off the cameras, forget the anniversary tea party in pink roses heaven, grab the kid by the scruff of the neck, escort him out of the house and tell him to go take care of his car-related business and anything else he might need to take deal with.  If he wants to be on camera, he needs to take control of his life.   As in: Max, we are not giving you a forum for any of this -- simple and clean.  And keep the cross talk & promotion of your other detestable TV show out of the mix. The pearl clutching taking place falls squarely on Lisa's head. 

 

But it's enough already -- I've gone way overboard and don't mean to take it out on you. 

 

It'll be a blessed relief to get to the next chapter and see the ladies get into the usual drunken brawling, which is precisely the reason I tune into this crack.  All of these kids off the show would be just fine with me. Honestly, I'd rather watch Brandi go off the rails than have to sit through another fraught BH parent and child reunion. 

 

I don't think you're taking anything out on me.  LOL

 

But we'll just have to agree to disagree.  Max is a grown human being who is responsible for himself.  It is no longer Lisa and Ken's responsibility for how he lives his life.  They can give advice and try to steer in a direction, but he has only himself to blame for what does or does not happen to him.  He has spoken up in the past about not showing up on camera and his wishes were granted.  Apparently something changed his mind and now he gave his consent.  Because Lisa isn't an idiot, she knows who watches this show and the vitriol that people spew when they don't like something they see.  I would venture a guess that she knew damn well how people were gonna view him when he showed up on camera whining about his emissions test he still hasn't gotten and expecting a handout from his very rich parents.  A lost kid, with very little ambition who is lazy and full of excuses.  But painful as it might be for her to see, he needs to learn that lesson.  The world owes him nothing and he's either gonna get up off his ass and do something or people are going to continue to view him as a fuck up.

 

I don't see a problem in that type of parenting, especially if you are at the end of your rope with someone.  Fine, you think you know everything, here ya go.

[bosawks]

Lisa probably thinks that paying Pandy 500 grand a year to work the occassional weekend is considered "working her way through college".

Edited January 16, 2015 by bosawks

[imjagain]

If Kim is trying to get away from Kyle and the cameras, why should Kyle be hunting her down - again? Same with season 1. Kim had left the finale party. She wasn't obviously drunk to the viewers. She had a fight with Taylor and left. We wouldn't know about her alcoholism if Kyle hadn't hunted her down in the limo.

In this preview, if any of the other women were trying to hold Kyle back and said, "just let her go," I don't think we'd be hearing any criticism, but since it is the despised Brandi, suddenly it's a horrible thing she is doing.

I agree Brandi herself is a fool for thinking that she could mediate between these two women with a long history of dysfunction, but at this time in filming she was on good terms with both Kim and Kyle. I don't think there is malintent on Brandi's part for intervening. It's not like she is trying to harm Kyle because of bad feelings. Kim left for a reason, most likely not to be filmed while drunk/on drugs or not to be in a confrontation with her sister in front of cameras. IMO Brandi probably thinks she is protecting Kim.

Your probably right. I just dislike Brandi. Everything she does makes me side eye her.

I think a smart person or a person that can read a situation, would step a side when 2 sisters start to have a moment of any kind. But this is Brandi.

Edited January 16, 2015 by imjagain

[WireWrap]

I think if the housewives use their kids for a story then the kids should have a talking head. I'd love to see what Alexia, Max, Bella, and gigiare thinking while the scenes unfold. It feels too one sided and incomplete without their input.

OC used to do this season 1 through 5.

I think if the older kids are shown/featured thy should get to do a TH segment themselves. It would be interesting to hear their perspective.

 

A television show that is filmed for a couple days a week a few weeks a year.  I see no reason why Lisa shouldn't be honest about her struggles with her son and what she's facing considering it is what EVERY PARENT faces with their children.  I don't see why she should be discussing his positives while they are clearly showing a scenario in which he is not doing anything positive.  He has no direction and doesn't seem to be doing much to try to find it for himself.  It would look ridiculous if they showed that scene and then suddenly a TH of Lisa "But he's such a sweet kid who walks little old ladies across the street and washes my car every now and then."

Uh no.  He's currently a fuck up who can't even take his car to get the emissions tested when he's not doing anything else all day.  

 

My mother pulled no punches when I screwed up and she didn't sugar coat it to other people either.  Singing the praises of your kid no matter what they do, IMO, is more of a detriment then when you wholeheartedly let them know they've disappointed you.  This is why we have a generation of kids who clutch their pearls when their boss forgets their anniversary at work.  Who gives a shit?  You have a job.  Do it.  If/when Max gets a job, he needs to understand that when you don't pull your weight, you don't get the positive reactions.  Because I highly doubt any boss he WOULD have at another restaurant would hear his excuses for why something didn't get done.

 

Considering this is, as stated above, a television show in which we only see a small snapshot of their lives, I'm going to guess that this isn't the first time Max has walked in full of excuses for why he hasn't done something. Lisa seemed exasperated and done with hearing it when Max came in.  As did Ken.  That signals to me they've heard his bullshit before.

There are too many viewers/bloggers/tabloids out there looking for dirt on all of the HWs/families and would just love to hear any of them sound the praises of a screwed up kid on the show and out them. A perfect example of this is Bella, her DUI was a big story in the tabloids when it happened and I am sure Yolanda would have preferred to ignore it but had to deal with it on the show because of the press it generated.

Lisa probably thinks the paying Pandy 500 grand a year to work the occassional weekend is considered "working her way through college".

I don't think she paid Pandora $500K a year! LOL BUT I am sure she paid her well.

[larapu2000]

 

These are two different schools:  University of Arizona in Tuscon with the sketchy neighborhoods; and Arizona State University in Phoenix with the students from Dubai.   Just sayin'.  (Alexia goes to University of Tucson according to the episode's chyron intro.)

 

I introduced a co-worker to the show and commented on really, how many families make a family trip, staying overnight/for the weekend, when dropping off their kids at school?  He told me that's what they do now, it's not that unheard of.  That surprised me, since my BF pretty much moved me in (he went to the same school) my freshman year, and I got myself to school(s) in the years after.  Apparently, times do change. 

.  

 

I think families that are out of state stay overnight when dropping kids off, it's not uncommon.  I used to work in hotels in a college town, and we always had quite a few out of staters with us when school was starting.  Plus, if Alexia was in an apartment and they needed to buy her supplies there in Tucson, it takes more time than some suitcases and a bath caddy to get all that stuff, plus you forget things, etc.  Not that Alexia couldn't get that on her own later, but if mom and dad pay for it, then that leaves you more money for beer.

 

I'm surprised no one's mentioned Lisa's offhand comment to Rocio, who complimented her shoes.  "Oh, yes, these will probably be yours soon, as they're terribly uncomfortable.  I'm so generous!"

[copacabana]

Hope it's okay to put in a word of praise and respect for the current generation of 20 some year olds out there.  This generation seems to get a ton of flack for being lazy and expecting the twigs and thorns to be removed from their path but this hasn't been my experience with them, boy or girl.  (The kids this age, and I'm old enough to consider them kids, that I do see behaving badly happen to be ... on reality tv!  Go figure -- Surrounded by parents who seem intent on letting us know that they don't approve ... and expect much more, with the cameras rolling. )

 

My son is two years younger than Max and we aren't upper middle class in terms of cashish ... We are solidly middle middle class and grateful, in this environment, for that, believe me.  The  young people I see my son befriending and bringing into the house are polite, respectful, hardworking, attending school and involved and interested in what goes on in the USA.  They are infinitely more mature and aware and together than I and most of my set ever were at their age.  (I'm pushing 60).  I have tons of respect for the young people I met and feel for them because the many opportunities that we had at their age have pretty much dried up. 

 

I guess this kind of drives my whole reaction to the Todd family imbroglio.  Young people need to be responsible, for sure -- (I do kind of prefer it myself when there's a dollop of imperfection there just because) but I'm in the nurture camp.  Nature, for sure, but what creates it is nurture and if Lisa and Todd are experiencing this level of disappointment now, they aren't going to convince me that they didn't have something to do with it.  The kind of crass talk she's been bandying about don't help.   Money can't buy you class, Max, and it definitely can't buy you love. 

 

And, like I said, I hate seeing this particular generation derided, urban myth style, for being a bunch of cry babies who got spoiled by no one having the courage to  tell them they just weren't good enough for the soccer team and that every drawing they ever made was a work of art.  I don't think it's true and I definitely don't think it's fair. 

 

Am going to shut up about all this, promise.  Can't believe how disappointed I am in Lisa. 

Edited January 16, 2015 by copacabana

[JAYJAY1979]

I remember reading articles during filming...apparently the Santa Barbara spa day happened in late august with producers exclaiming how nothing interesting happened....

Kim then got into an accident around labor day that required her to stay in the hospital..and then within a week later...there was a report of Kim and Brandi fighting but it turned out it was Kyle and Brandi.

The article seemed to imply that Kim and Kyle were having a heated discussion...Brandi came over to see if Kim was OK..Kyle eventually turned and attacked Brandi.

So it looks like from the brief scene in Santa Barbara that Eileen, lisa V, and Yolanda didn't come. Which makes me wonder why Kim came..she could have excused herself from the proceedings...though didn't the scene indicate no one knew it would be a wine tasting?

[ladle]

I thought Brandi had a lot of nerve being pissed off that Eddie and Leann were mentioning her kids, when she constantly talks about her kids and how Eddie is screwing them over.  I find it's one of the most vile things about her.  God, she annoys me.  Why won't you let me fast-forward, OnDemand?  Why?!!

 

This isn't the first time that Lisa has brought up the holy genetic trinity of Ken, Lisa, and Pandora with Max as the outsider but I sure as hell hope it will be the last! 

 

 

 

I'm not a huge Lisa fan, but I felt I had to cut her some slack here because to me it seemed that she was responding to a very specific question in her TH, "Do you think that's because Max doesn't share your genes?"  However, did I miss something?  I thought the episode description said something like Ken and Lisa learning their son's aspirations or something.  Did that happen?  Unless his aspiration was *not* to smog-test the car, I think I missed it?

 

I can't help but continue to like Lisa R.!  I was giving her major side-eye during the episode in which her kids were making "chubbers" comments, but she really does seem to have such a genuinely positive spirit.  

 

Also, I apologize if this has been addressed elsewhere, but isn't Ken way older than Lisa?  In fact, didn't they get married when she was barely legal?  Seems like a bit of a pot-to-kettle situation for them to object to Max's older girlfriend.

[LotusFlower]

A lost kid, with very little ambition who is lazy and full of excuses.  But painful as it might be for her to see, he needs to learn that lesson.  The world owes him nothing and he's either gonna get up off his ass and do something or people are going to continue to view him as a fuck up.

 

I don't see a problem in that type of parenting, especially if you are at the end of your rope with someone.  Fine, you think you know everything, here ya go.

There isn't any problem with that type of parenting, except for this - handle it privately. If you have reality tv stars in your eyes, fine, go for it. But don't exploit your children for your own self-serving needs. And that goes for all the HW's across the board in regards to their children at every age, from Teresa in NJ with a newborn ("My daughters are everything to me," "Aren't I a great mother?"), to Lisa with both Max and Pandora ("Look at how different my kids are and how I parent them differently. Aren't I a great mother?")

[heebiejeebie]

I don't care how much Brandi loathes Eddie and Leann (though any bets how soon she'd take him back if he decided to do a 180 on Leann?), how much he hurt her.  Skank better have sent both a gift basket for mentioning her.  Imagine the cameras on her (I suspect they cherrypicked an episode to make it work) and Eddie and Leann not mentioning her or referring to her AT ALL?  Crickets would be deafening.  And Brandi could be shown the door by the show's production/casting tout suite.  What else has she got.  Aromatic oils and a scented candle Brandi.  That way when Eddie bangs the purse in the bathroom he has to think of you.  Win win in the world of scum.

[FozzyBear]

I remember reading articles during filming...apparently the Santa Barbara spa day happened in late august with producers exclaiming how nothing interesting happened....

Kim then got into an accident around labor day that required her to stay in the hospital..and then within a week later...there was a report of Kim and Brandi fighting but it turned out it was Kyle and Brandi.

The article seemed to imply that Kim and Kyle were having a heated discussion...Brandi came over to see if Kim was OK..Kyle eventually turned and attacked Brandi.

So it looks like from the brief scene in Santa Barbara that Eileen, lisa V, and Yolanda didn't come. Which makes me wonder why Kim came..she could have excused herself from the proceedings...though didn't the scene indicate no one knew it would be a wine tasting?

I've always sort of assumed that they have X number of filmable hours in their contract (and that might be further broken down into amounts during group activities and so on) or they don't get paid, or don't get paid as much, or something. I'm sure Bravo knows how to write a good contract by now. Maybe Kim was running out of filming opportunities and felt like she had to go?

[sasha206]

She also told her she was gonna have so much fun and love college.  I think people are sticking on the negative thing Kyle said and not giving her credit for the positive thing she said/did.  Both of which far outweigh the ONE comment she made to Alexia about being able to come home if she wanted to.

 

But kids tend to focus on that one negative in the middle of all that positive -- particularly when the mother is hysterically crying.  There's no reason to ever put in a negative at all because it's hard enough on the kid to leave the nest.  

[CaughtOnTape]

There isn't any problem with that type of parenting, except for this - handle it privately. If you have reality tv stars in your eyes, fine, go for it. But don't exploit your children for your own self-serving needs. And that goes for all the HW's across the board in regards to their children at every age, from Teresa in NJ with a newborn ("My daughters are everything to me," "Aren't I a great mother?"), to Lisa with both Max and Pandora ("Look at how different my kids are and how I parent them differently. Aren't I a great mother?")

 

I reiterate, HE made the choice to show up on camera again.  Why should it be a secret?  She's not the first mother to have to deal with it.  He's not the first kid to have to learn that lesson.  People fail, you get back up and figure it out.   Failing is not taboo.  Shit happens.  He will live...even if he has to deal with a little humiliation.

 

It's an assumption that Lisa did it to show off her perfect mothering skills (something I've never seen her do.  If we were talking about something having to do with what a fantastic businesswoman she was, I'd agree).  

[WireWrap]

I think families that are out of state stay overnight when dropping kids off, it's not uncommon.  I used to work in hotels in a college town, and we always had quite a few out of staters with us when school was starting.  Plus, if Alexia was in an apartment and they needed to buy her supplies there in Tucson, it takes more time than some suitcases and a bath caddy to get all that stuff, plus you forget things, etc.  Not that Alexia couldn't get that on her own later, but if mom and dad pay for it, then that leaves you more money for beer.

 

I'm surprised no one's mentioned Lisa's offhand comment to Rocio, who complimented her shoes.  "Oh, yes, these will probably be yours soon, as they're terribly uncomfortable.  I'm so generous!"

 

 

Hope it's okay to put in a word of praise and respect for the current generation of 20 some year olds out there.  This generation seems to get a ton of flack for being lazy and expecting the twigs and thorns to be removed from their path but this hasn't been my experience with them, boy or girl.  (The kids this age, and I'm old enough to consider them kids, that I do see behaving badly happen to be ... on reality tv!  Go figure -- Surrounded by parents who seem intent on letting us know that they don't approve ... and expect much more, with the cameras rolling. )

 

My son is two years younger than Max and we aren't upper middle class in terms of cashish ... We are solidly middle middle class and grateful, in this environment, for that, believe me.  The  young people I see my son befriending and bringing into the house are polite, respectful, hardworking, attending school and involved and interested in what goes on in the USA.  They are infinitely more mature and aware and together than I and most of my set ever were at their age.  (I'm pushing 60).  I have tons of respect for the young people I met and feel for them because the many opportunities that we had at their age have pretty much dried up. 

 

I guess this kind of drives my whole reaction to the Todd family imbroglio.  Young people need to be responsible, for sure -- (I do kind of prefer it myself when there's a dollop of imperfection there just because) but I'm in the nurture camp.  Nature, for sure, but what creates it is nurture and if Lisa and Todd are experiencing this level of disappointment now, they aren't going to convince me that they didn't have something to do with it.  The kind of crass talk she's been bandying about don't help.   Money can't buy you class, Max, and it definitely can't buy you love. 

 

And, like I said, I hate seeing this particular generation derided, urban myth style, for being a bunch of cry babies who got spoiled by no one having the courage to  tell them they just weren't good enough for the soccer team and that every drawing they ever made was a work of art.  I don't think it's true and I definitely don't think it's fair. 

 

Am going to shut up about all this, promise.  Can't believe how disappointed I am in Lisa. 

Lisa/Ken have had problems with Max for years now, including drug addiction/abuse. I do not doubt that they have tried everything they can think of, including professional help/rehab. That she/they are resorting to "tough love" would not be unexpected IMO, especially in light of what Max himself revealed about not paying his bills and expecting Lisa/Ken to pay them for him. I do not understand where or why you/anyone gets the idea that Lisa does not love Max, I find that puzzling. I am glad your child/son turned out well, you did a good job but I have know parents that did/said all the right things, were great parents, and yet their kids turned out rotten. Sometimes it is just the kid and not the parent.

There isn't any problem with that type of parenting, except for this - handle it privately. If you have reality tv stars in your eyes, fine, go for it. But don't exploit your children for your own self-serving needs. And that goes for all the HW's across the board in regards to their children at every age, from Teresa in NJ with a newborn ("My daughters are everything to me," "Aren't I a great mother?"), to Lisa with both Max and Pandora ("Look at how different my kids are and how I parent them differently. Aren't I a great mother?")

There is no evidence that Lisa/Ken raised Max any different than Pandora when they were young kids and to suggest otherwise is cruel IMO.

[Aunt Kiki]

This episode was boring and unnecessary.  I guess because I don't care who's going to college and who's upset about it.  

 

Although I have nothing bad to say about any parent on this show, they all have their downfalls and strengths just like any parent.  I don't think it's fair to take a snapshot in time and make a judgment about how someone parents or which child they favor, that's a pretty serious accusation.  Max seems to be kind of a moron and flaky and I don't understand why Lisa's expected to sing his praises in her talking heads.  Pandora is not a moron and has done something with her life and therefore Lisa speaks highly of her.  That's a no brainer to me.  If Lisa were to sit in her TH's and talk up Max like he'd never done any wrong and was a wonderful, perfect child then people would be on her ass for being delusional about her kid, much like people are on Yolanda's ass for not admonishing Bella at every turn after her kid got a DUI.  

 

I think the only thing I can glean from Lisa about Max is that he disappoints her, she's worried about him and she wishes he had more ambition and drive.  My parents looked at me much the same way when I graduated with a C average and refused college.  What the hell was I gonna do with that?  While my older brother graduated at top of his class, was almost valedictorian and spent his entire college career on the Dean's list.  They were scared to death for me.  Turns out, I'm doing just fine and out of the two of us, I'M the one with the more stable job (and I'm in college now).  I didn't see a mother who favors a child at all.  I saw a mother who is worried about her kids prospects and what's going to happen to him when she's gone.  

 

I agree - it is hard to judge based on a few collective minutes of scenes in a five year period..   I can't help but remember Ken's derision towards Taylor when she talked about going to counseling and thinking how black and white he was, as well as being a crotchety old man.  I wonder how he felt when it became apparent that Max was struggling with drugs(?) and some non-parental intervention was necessary.  I'm not implying that there is conditional love there but at this point Ken looked like he had no patience for Max and his antics on the episode. I wonder how many times this type of thing has happened .  Actually, Ken seems to be the most real person on the show, crotchety old man that he is.

 

Max seems to be a spoiled, entitled brat.   It all seems to be in how a person uses the opportunities they are given.  Pandora took one direction, Max took another.   Ken and Lisa appeared to be supportive when he was in music college (and in a band) and now he doesn't want to pursue that.  How many times has this happened before, I wonder.

 

Perfection-driven people like the Vanderpump Todds have very little patience for slackers and probably can't understand why their son doesn't have the ambition and drive that they have.  What they don't seem to realize is that they've given him no incentive and it has nothing to do with him not having their genes..

 

I was turned off the first time Lisa referred to Max as her adopted son, I have to admit.  But I didn't get the impression that she preferred her biological child over him.  I think both children were given the best of everything, including opportunities.

 

I have friends who privately adopted their son and didn't find out until years later that the birth mother had many issues, some of which manifested in their son.  The first time I saw Max I was reminded of their son.  Their hoped-for picture-perfect family life didn't happen but a solid picture-imperfect family life developed over time.   It took a lot of love, patience, money (for professional help) and perseverence. 

[WireWrap]

I don't care how much Brandi loathes Eddie and Leann (though any bets how soon she'd take him back if he decided to do a 180 on Leann?), how much he hurt her.  Skank better have sent both a gift basket for mentioning her.  Imagine the cameras on her (I suspect they cherrypicked an episode to make it work) and Eddie and Leann not mentioning her or referring to her AT ALL?  Crickets would be deafening.  And Brandi could be shown the door by the show's production/casting tout suite.  What else has she got.  Aromatic oils and a scented candle Brandi.  That way when Eddie bangs the purse in the bathroom he has to think of you.  Win win in the world of scum.

We don't even know for sure that they watched the first episode of EC/LR show, they blurred the TV and muted any sound from the TV as well. We only have Brandi's, Kim's, Jen's and the 2 guys words that it was and .....sorry, I do not trust any of them! LOL It would have been perfect if EC/LR had not mentioned Brandi in any way shape or form on their show at all and if only EC had talked about their sons. It would have taken away any "victim" cry Brandi used.

 

 

I reiterate, HE made the choice to show up on camera again.  Why should it be a secret?  She's not the first mother to have to deal with it.  He's not the first kid to have to learn that lesson.  People fail, you get back up and figure it out.   Failing is not taboo.  Shit happens.  He will live...even if he has to deal with a little humiliation.

 

It's an assumption that Lisa did it to show off her perfect mothering skills (something I've never seen her do.  If we were talking about something having to do with what a fantastic businesswoman she was, I'd agree).  

It showed that Lisa/Ken are normal parents dealing with 2 very different adult children.

[WireWrap]

I agree - it is hard to judge based on a few collective minutes of scenes in a five year period..   I can't help but remember Ken's derision towards Taylor when she talked about going to counseling and thinking how black and white he was, as well as being a crotchety old man.  I wonder how he felt when it became apparent that Max was struggling with drugs(?) and some non-parental intervention was necessary.  I'm not implying that there is conditional love there but at this point Ken looked like he had no patience for Max and his antics on the episode. I wonder how many times this type of thing has happened .  Actually, Ken seems to be the most real person on the show, crotchety old man that he is.

 

Max seems to be a spoiled, entitled brat.   It all seems to be in how a person uses the opportunities they are given.  Pandora took one direction, Max took another.   Ken and Lisa appeared to be supportive when he was in music college (and in a band) and now he doesn't want to pursue that.  How many times has this happened before, I wonder.

 

Perfection-driven people like the Vanderpump Todds have very little patience for slackers and probably can't understand why their son doesn't have the ambition and drive that they have.  What they don't seem to realize is that they've given him no incentive and it has nothing to do with him not having their genes..

 

I was turned off the first time Lisa referred to Max as her adopted son, I have to admit.  But I didn't get the impression that she preferred her biological child over him.  I think both children were given the best of everything, including opportunities.

 

I have friends who privately adopted their son and didn't find out until years later that the birth mother had many issues, some of which manifested in their son.  The first time I saw Max I was reminded of their son.  Their hoped-for picture-perfect family life didn't happen but a solid picture-imperfect family life developed over time.   It took a lot of love, patience, money (for professional help) and perseverence. 

When Lisa first told us that Max was adopted it was in the beginning of the show years ago, she was talking about their family, not just Max. I got the impression that they were very open with him about being adopted, that it was public knowledge and to hide or omit that on the show would have brought out the sleuth bloggers and ROL printing it and calling them out on it for all to see. They either had to be completely honest or hide it, they chose honesty because they are not embarrassed about how he came to be their son.