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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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Finding a new TV.  My ancient tv keeps crapping out so I'm trying to accept that I just need a replacement for the (only) one I have, a few feet away from where I watch.  Everything is a huge flat screen that needs to be hung from the wall or is way too big for my small space.  That's not what I want, and so this is my peeve.

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4 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Finding a new TV.  My ancient tv keeps crapping out so I'm trying to accept that I just need a replacement for the (only) one I have, a few feet away from where I watch.  Everything is a huge flat screen that needs to be hung from the wall or is way too big for my small space.  That's not what I want, and so this is my peeve.

I have a 32" that came with feet. It's less than a year old, so they're out there. Mine is a Samsung. 

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9 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I tried to watch, I really did (twice), but I couldn't make it past the first 60 seconds.

8 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Same, I found it difficult to watch.  Also, there are so many "American" accents, so what makes her version correct?

This almond/salmon discussion is reminding me of another peeve:  people who pronounce the T in often. 

I find your reactions to that interesting. Was it her accent that annoyed you? Or was it something about her specifically? The video is actually not about accent, it's about pronunciation and I think the two are different things although I'm no expert. For example, many Brits and native NYC-ers don't pronounce a hard "r" sound at the end of words. We say something like "Muth-ah", "fath-ah", "sist-ah", "bruth-ah", but we do it with very different accents.

If you watched more of the video she's describing the various different ways the word almond is pronounced by different people but she's not insisting that any one of them is "correct". She's a speech pathologist that helps people improve their American accents. There are foreigners that want to sound more American out there, primarily to improve their communication skills. I've known a few of them in my life. I've also wished that more of those offshore customer service reps. that we struggle to understand would take such a course. If they're going to be working with Americans it might be a good idea to learn how to speak in a way we can understand. They are yet another pet peeve of mine.

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On 8/7/2024 at 12:31 PM, EtheltoTillie said:

Today I Learned

I'll take this over "I was today years old when I learned..." any day.

On 8/7/2024 at 3:16 PM, Dimity said:

people assuming seniors don't know how to use new technologies.

Hey, I'm 33 and I'm a technophobe 😉. I still have regular boring phone, while my mother has a smartphone. Although, she is terrible with some devices and I regularly have to help her. I drew the line at her smartphone, saying that I take great pains to avoid having to deal with one, since everyone now wants you to download apps for everything. 

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16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I find your reactions to that interesting. Was it her accent that annoyed you? Or was it something about her specifically? The video is actually not about accent, it's about pronunciation and I think the two are different things although I'm no expert. For example, many Brits and native NYC-ers don't pronounce a hard "r" sound at the end of words. We say something like "Muth-ah", "fath-ah", "sist-ah", "bruth-ah", but we do it with very different accents.

If you watched more of the video she's describing the various different ways the word almond is pronounced by different people but she's not insisting that any one of them is "correct". She's a speech pathologist that helps people improve their American accents. There are foreigners that want to sound more American out there, primarily to improve their communication skills. I've known a few of them in my life. I've also wished that more of those offshore customer service reps. that we struggle to understand would take such a course. If they're going to be working with Americans it might be a good idea to learn how to speak in a way we can understand. They are yet another pet peeve of mine.

I just found it boring and pointless.  It might have been helpful for someone who really wanted to practice the accent. 

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The answer to whether there's one general American accent or many is a resounding "yes", LOL. That's mostly a joke but there is some truth to it.

Linguists talk about a general or "generic" American accent that's a result of the flattening of all the features of regional accents. It's a term that was coined around 1925 according to Google and it's the kind of accent you hear most often in the media on TV news programs all across the country. Today it's not as much a "requirement" as it used to be. People that wanted to be TV announcers used to be pressured to take courses to change their accents to that general accent. While it seems like most still conform to it somewhat there are exceptions. A young woman on my local TV news in CT is from the South and she still has some of her original southern accent.

The "general American accent" sounds a lot like the regular "Eastern Mid Atlantic" accent and so people have said it's really that and that's not fair, etc. because why should announcers have to conform to the way people speak in one area of the country? So I think that's why it's changing a little now.

Interestingly years ago I had friends on the West coast who insisted their accent was naturally the most "generic" one in the country and that most of the West coast had that accent. I couldn't really argue with them because it always amazed me how they all spoke so similarly with that "announcer accent" when here in the Northeast we have so many unique accents. Although I did notice little differences in their accents here and there that they didn't hear.

Since I left NYC half my life ago I've lost a bit of my NY accent. Some of that was intentional because unfortunately people up here often tended to judge me for it, and not favorably. But now I can "hear" the NYC and general NY metro area accents in a way I wasn't able to before I left the area. Native NY-ers can still hear some of my NY accent peeking through and after I tell them I'm originally from the City they usually say, "I THOUGHT so but I didn't want to assume anything!" And now I have that reaction too when I meet people up here originally from the NYC area who still have remnants of their old accents.

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1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I've noticed that the "old" US TV/radio accent is really different from what one hears post mid-60s.  The old accent seemed to be more mid-Atlantic, similar to what one heard in movies prior to the 50s.  That said, I guess I have a "Toronto" accent?  Or DO I?  Since there's no ONE Canadian accent either.

I always found it interesting that many Canadians don't hear what Americans hear in their accents. Like the way some Canadians pronounce "out" and "about". My mother was born in NYC but grew up in Canada and when she came back at age 13 the kids made fun of the way she pronounced words like that, which to many Americans sound elongated at the end on the "ouoo" sound. Incidentally, my mother never spoke "New Yawk-ese" like my father and I did.

I found these two young Canadian women very entertaining and helpful on the subject. They also discuss how their accents differ - one is from Vancouver and the other from Toronto. It's a only 3 minutes long and it's worth watching the whole thing.

 

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Sooth was my downfall.  All I could think of was Shakespearean for sooth.  South took me a bit to get to surface and the poor border person who wanted to know how I planned to go home wasn't flexible enough to ask me just that.  Instead he kept repeating and sooth?  He meant how are you going south after Vancouver which was still a bad question given that still wasn't going home. If you want to see the flight reservation/ticket, please just ask me for it.

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3 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Peeve of the day:  People who try to tell me how to do my job, which I've been doing for decades, and they have no idea wtf they're talking about.  Please do not try to school me, because I will school the hell out of you right back.

Having been through something similar these last couple days at my job, oh, do I relate so hard to this rant. I need to find a new job, I swear. 

 

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(edited)
1 hour ago, chitowngirl said:

Back before there was a vaccine for it, someone came to work with Chicken Pox! Not everyone had it as a child!! And it’s a serious disease to have as an adult!!

It's also very serious if a child has certain forms of cancer, especially if they are undergoing chemotherapy.  A young cousin of mine had leukemia before vaccines came out and some unthinking parent brought a child with chicken pox into the area of the hospital where she and other children were waiting for their treatment.  

Edited by Dimity
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15 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I don't care how horrible this makes me, I get pissed off when people come to work sick. I had a co-worker yesterday casually mention he had a 100 degree fever... and he came in again today!

The rest of us don't want to get sick!

What an idiot.

The very least these kinds of bozos can do is, oh I don’t know, wear a mask to keep it from spreading!

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4 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

Back before there was a vaccine for it, someone came to work with Chicken Pox! Not everyone had it as a child!! And it’s a serious disease to have as an adult!!

My husband did not know that he had never had chicken pox as a child (his mother could not remember...) so when my son got it at play group as a toddler, my husband got it too and wound up in the hospital, gravely ill. It is a serious, serious thing for adults and not to be taken lightly!

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(edited)

When my kids were in elementary school they both came home with chicken pox. Neither had a very bad case of it thank goodness, because they shared it with me and I was really sick!! They were on the mend as I was getting sick. Of course my then husband was traveling and gone for a week so I had to take care of them and try to take care of myself as best I could. I was really miserable but trudged on. 

Not fun to have any childhood disease as an adult!!

Edited by Gramto6
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Yeah, I had chicken pox when I was in elementary school, too - second grade, to be exact. I think I was out for about a week or so, and I mainly just slept much of the time :p. 

19 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I don't care how horrible this makes me, I get pissed off when people come to work sick. I had a co-worker yesterday casually mention he had a 100 degree fever... and he came in again today!

The rest of us don't want to get sick!

On the one hand, I agree with this, on the other hand, I also know that some jobs can be REALLY stingy with the sick days and alliwing people time off when they're sick, so depending on the job, the sick person may not have much choice in terms of not coming in while ill. 

Same with the mention of masks up above - we saw how much some people flipped out over wearing masks during the pandemic, and I've seen a couple stories about towns wanting to ban wearing masks in public in general. So, again, sick people might be fighiting a bit of an uphill battle there, too, depending on where they work/live. 

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6 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

Back before there was a vaccine for it, someone came to work with Chicken Pox! Not everyone had it as a child!! And it’s a serious disease to have as an adult!!

This happened to me years ago before the vaccine - someone brought their kid into the office prior to taking her to the doctor's office.  I was in my coworker's office to talk over something with him and he didn't tell me the kid was sick.  I thought there was some childcare issue.  Anyway, the next day he told me she's got chicken pox and when I got upset, it became clear he thought it was my fault I never had it as a kid.  Fortunately I didn't get it.  

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

On the one hand, I agree with this, on the other hand, I also know that some jobs can be REALLY stingy with the sick days and alliwing people time off when they're sick, so depending on the job, the sick person may not have much choice in terms of not coming in while ill. 

Same with the mention of masks up above - we saw how much some people flipped out over wearing masks during the pandemic, and I've seen a couple stories about towns wanting to ban wearing masks in public in general. So, again, sick people might be fighiting a bit of an uphill battle there, too, depending on where they work/live. 

I do feel for the people who don't have sick leave.  Also a lot of women end up burning through sick leave more so than men, because of childbearing and it seems more often than not they are the parent expected to take time off from work when the kids are sick or have routine medical/dental appointments.  Those who want to ban masks apparently have never known someone with a compromised immune system, such as a cancer patient, or known a frail elderly person for whom a cold can turn deadly.  

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On 6/2/2024 at 4:13 AM, Yeah No said:

They tried to push streaming as replacing DVDs and how everything was going to be available and easier to access but it's not.  In many cases only one or two seasons of a show are available and you'd have to have a subscription to that streaming service to even see those.

And even then, they may not be there for some nebulous reasons like "music rights," or some other bull they come up with.

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1 hour ago, bmasters9 said:

And even then, they may not be there for some nebulous reasons like "music rights," or some other bull they come up with.

Music rights is not some nebulous issue though. Songwriters deserved to get paid when their songs are used, and contracts would have been signed back when the episode aired. The issue is that those contracts did not include provisions for DVD sales and streaming, and the studios and streamers are unwilling to spend the time and money necessary to secure the rights for the new formats. 

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1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Music rights is not some nebulous issue though. Songwriters deserved to get paid when their songs are used, and contracts would have been signed back when the episode aired. The issue is that those contracts did not include provisions for DVD sales and streaming, and the studios and streamers are unwilling to spend the time and money necessary to secure the rights for the new formats. 

Some shows work around the music rights issues.  Beverly Hills 90210 released all seasons on DVD but there was some music changes. The most obvious one to me was when Brenda broke up with Dylan in the car when the show aired REM's Losing my Religion was playing.  On DVD it wasn't that song that played.

Beverly Hills 90210 now streams but last time I checked there are certain episodes that are unavailable.  I checked and some of the episodes had musical guests that sang on the show.  Guess they couldn't work out a deal or a work around for that. 

Murphy Brown doesn't stream. Most likely due to the fact lots of Motown music was played during it's run.  Music rights is why it took forever for Wonder Years to stream.

On 8/14/2024 at 11:28 PM, Wiendish Fitch said:

The rest of us don't want to get sick!

Last year I had a coworker who had pink eye.  He stayed home for a few days, thought he was better, came to work and then the next day was sick again. He had a respiratory illness that came with pink eye which sometimes happens.  A day later I developed pink eye. Never had it as a child and got it in my 50s.  I had two bad days.  Eye hurt like hell and couldn't see. I slept mostly.  Then I was fine.

Regarding chicken pox isn't it the same virus as shingles?  And that is why adults over 50 are supposed to get the shingles vaccine?

 

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(edited)
24 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

 

Regarding chicken pox isn't it the same virus as shingles?  And that is why adults over 50 are supposed to get the shingles vaccine?

 

I thought it was related (but mutated?) and why people who've had chickenpox have a 1 in 3 chance of getting shingles.  

From Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/shingles/symptoms-causes/syc-20353054

Edited by PRgal
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19 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I thought it was related (but mutated?) and why people who've had chickenpox have a 1 in 3 chance of getting shingles.  

From Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/shingles/symptoms-causes/syc-20353054

I got both doses of my shingles vaccine and the second dose made me so sick.  I felt like I had the worst flu ever.  Body aches like I had been hit by a truck and so chilled I went to bed at 8 pm wearing pajamas a hoodie and slept under a top sheet, comforter and throw blanket.  In the morning I was fine.  I've been told shingles is worse than all that.  So get the vaccine. 

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1 hour ago, bluegirl147 said:

Regarding chicken pox isn't it the same virus as shingles?  And that is why adults over 50 are supposed to get the shingles vaccine?

Yes, the same virus causes both diseases.  The shingles vaccine is supposed to prevent a "re-awakening" of the virus, which can happen to anyone who's had chicken pox.  And you can get shingles more than once -- I've had it once (on my FACE!), but I'm working out when I can get the vaccine.  I want to make sure I time the doses appropriately.

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It's becoming quite a peeve of mine. Almost weekly Air Quality Warnings this summer due so many fires. I keep having to close my windows, turn on the AC/fan and keep my asthmatic cat from going out on the balcony.

This in a climate where I would rarely need to use the AC.

And it's only going to get worse in the coming years.

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6 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Yes, the same virus causes both diseases.  The shingles vaccine is supposed to prevent a "re-awakening" of the virus, which can happen to anyone who's had chicken pox.  And you can get shingles more than once -- I've had it once (on my FACE!), but I'm working out when I can get the vaccine.  I want to make sure I time the doses appropriately.

My mom got the shingles vaccine, and she said that knocked her out harder than the COVID vaccines did! But she's glad she got the vaccine.

I've heard how incredibly painful shingles can be. I can't imagine getting it on your face. Dang. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Hope you can get in to get the vaccine as soon as possible!

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31 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

My mom got the shingles vaccine, and she said that knocked her out harder than the COVID vaccines did! But she's glad she got the vaccine.

I've heard how incredibly painful shingles can be. I can't imagine getting it on your face. Dang. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Hope you can get in to get the vaccine as soon as possible!

It wasn't horribly painful, but it itched like crazy!  And it is still tingly around my eyebrow when I'm stressed.

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(edited)

Two:

Being on a bus trip late at night (on the way home) with people who turn it into a drinking party. All I want to do after a long day, which started with me waking up at 5:30 am (which I don’t normally do) to get ready to get to the bus and then walking around all day, is relax with my headphones in. So, yeah…sorry I am less than amused by you pouring the alcohol 10 minutes after the bus pulls out of our destination and your yelling like a hyena the whole way home while you sing and blast music on speakers. Go to a bar (they close at 2 am here) or to your house after you get off the bus and have your drinking party there if you really are that desperate for it. 

These are people who are fine when they’re sober but who I learned I never want to be around after they’ve spent two hours drinking, showing they care for nobody but themselves once the alcohol is flowing.

Second: This insistence about when I’m allowed to be cranky…? My mom said to me when the bus dropped off wow are you cranky; there’s no such thing as a silent bus! I never said it had to be completely silent; just that I hate being on a bus with drunk people when I’ve already been up for 15 hours and walked around in the sun. There’s a time and a place. I hate this notion that some people have that you can’t be upset, ever, and when you are, it’s never justified. Cranky by Christmas because expectations and the holiday season start in September? Well, suck it up Grandma isn’t going to live forever! If you’re mad because the bus was loud enough to hear yelling over your headphones…too bad; people want to party! Mad about your job? You take it too personally; it’s just a job! Or…oh I can’t be upset that I wasn’t invited to a wedding but it’s totally OK and hilarious that a bridesmaid puked all over herself because she was so drunk. My feelings are never valid it seems. Everyone else’s are OK but mine. Everyone else can be cranky and disrespectful except me. Everyone is allowed to get piss drunk and not care if they’re disruptive to other passengers and I just have to deal with it. 

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

People who start their yardwork before 8 am on a Saturday. I don't care how busy your day is going to be nor that you are a landscaper playing catchup after 10 inches of rain fell here last week. Have some decency.

Roofers around here seem to start their busy day at 7 am.  I know people are getting up and prepping for work at that time but 7 am??  That's awfully early for hammers and trucks and loud radios set on stations no one my age would listen to unless they were being tortured.  In which case I'd reveal everything I know!

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On 8/14/2024 at 11:28 PM, Wiendish Fitch said:

I don't care how horrible this makes me, I get pissed off when people come to work sick. I had a co-worker yesterday casually mention he had a 100 degree fever... and he came in again today!

The rest of us don't want to get sick!

It's sad that you think some people would think you're the horrible one when it's the other way around. It's gone back to being like Covid never happened now. It's like very few people learned anything from that. For a few years you would NEVER have seen anyone come to work sick. I remember being out in public during the pandemic. You rarely ever heard even a cough or sneeze and that's when masks were mandated!

But what you described above was very similar to what I remember happening before the pandemic. I used to have to specifically ask openly sick people not to come near my desk at eork and if they needed anything from me to call me on the phone or send me an email. Some of them would act a little put out by it or like I was the weird one. I would then explain to them that for some reason I catch colds and viruses more easily than other people and when I get them I am usually so sick I have to stay home and it takes weeks for me to get over them. Usually they would just stay silent after that. I really don't care how they felt after that to be honest.

On 8/15/2024 at 5:54 PM, isalicat said:

My husband did not know that he had never had chicken pox as a child (his mother could not remember...) so when my son got it at play group as a toddler, my husband got it too and wound up in the hospital, gravely ill. It is a serious, serious thing for adults and not to be taken lightly!

I knew I never had the chicken pox and I got it at age 22. Fortunately I got a mild case but the spots on my face left little marks even though I never touched them.

On 8/15/2024 at 7:02 PM, Annber03 said:

Same with the mention of masks up above - we saw how much some people flipped out over wearing masks during the pandemic, and I've seen a couple stories about towns wanting to ban wearing masks in public in general. So, again, sick people might be fighiting a bit of an uphill battle there, too, depending on where they work/live. 

I'd like to see them try to stop me from wearing a mask. I'd go to court over it if I had to!

In June I went on a cruise and despite the fact that the average age on the ship was likely older than 65 virtually no one was wearing a mask. So even though I brought a mask I didn't always wear it. Of course the day after I got home from the cruise I started showing symptoms that turned out to be a cold (not Covid). It had been a long time since I had a Summer cold and it took me a MONTH to get over it.  I was kicking myself that entire month because I really knew better.

I went on another cruise this month but this time I wore a mask pretty much everywhere in public. I saw more masks on this ship although there were still very few of them considering how many people, including children were onboard. The average age on this ship was a bit younger, too. I really don't care what anyone thought of me for wearing a mask. The interesting thing is that most people I talk to that have cruised a few times say they have often caught colds while on cruises. Some of these people are over 65. I have to wonder what people are thinking anymore. I learned something from the pandemic but it looks like a lot of people are suffering pandemic amnesia. One thing we should have learned is that there are far worse things than colds that you can catch these days and especially if you are a senior, why would you want to put your life at risk?

BTW for anyone not familiar with cruising, you are often in tight spaces with crowds of people packed into elevators and standing on lines to get on/off the ship or into onboard venues, etc. so there is every reason to wear a mask. It's not overkill or paranoia. These people are all up in your face and personal space several times a DAY.

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I still mask up out of habit. Maybe it's silly, and I realize they're not magic or foolproof (I confess I did get covid late last year), but I still do it. A part of me really, really wants to stop, but I don't think we're 100% out of the woods yet. Coronavirus seems to reemerge in fits and starts, and I hate it. I'm as pro-vaxx as the day is long, but my only complaint is that I wish the vaccines could somehow make covid like chicken pox; once you get it, you're permanently immune and can't get it again (and I have once again outed myself as a science dum-dum).

As for my co-worker, I just wish he could have-bare minimum!- said something like, "I'm sick with a fever, I couldn't ask for the time off, please try to keep your distance from me, I'm really sorry". 

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(edited)
10 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

As for my co-worker, I just wish he could have-bare minimum!- said something like, "I'm sick with a fever, I couldn't ask for the time off, please try to keep your distance from me, I'm really sorry". 

My experience with people who come in to work sick is not that they aren't able to take time off, it's that they think they're indispensable or else that they think it makes them look like brave little heroes by coming in to work when the rest of us mortals would be heading back to bed with aspirin and a heating pad.  These kind of people annoy the hell out of me.

edited to add: my work experience has overwhelmingly been in govt and govt agency type places where time off is not an issue unless you abuse it

Edited by Dimity
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4 hours ago, Dimity said:

Roofers around here seem to start their busy day at 7 am.  I know people are getting up and prepping for work at that time but 7 am??  That's awfully early for hammers and trucks and loud radios set on stations no one my age would listen to unless they were being tortured.  In which case I'd reveal everything I know!

That's mostly so they can get through most of the word before it gets too hot.

I had to have my roof replaced last summer and I was just happy when they showed up.  They were working multiple jobs at the same time.

My related peeve is that my neighbor's gardener shows up at 5pm on Friday, just when I've finished a full week's work and am ready to enjoy peace and quiet.

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Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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