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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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Mid-40's, and I couldn't name a single Neil Young song.  I might recognize one if I heard it, but... sorry.  I mean, I have a very general sense of who he is, but mostly because a former coworker was such a huge fan that she gave her daughter - who also worked with me - the middle name "Neil".

I also have no idea what's going on with him regarding Spotify, and I'm okay with that!  :D

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I do like the name Neil. But I would've liked that name whether I knew of Neil Young or not, so...:p. Actually, when I hear that name, Neil Finn is one of the first people that immediately comes to my mind :D. 

Quote

I also have no idea what's going on with him regarding Spotify, and I'm okay with that!  :D

HIs stance in that situation is one I fully support, I'll say that much. 

Edited by Annber03
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19 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

It was also the coy pretending that she'd never heard of him.  She reminded me of women I've known who act helpless around men.  They put themselves down in ways that makes them sound like they can't even walk and talk at the same time, but they think it makes them sound all feminine and cute as hell.  Ugh.  

There was a woman who used to come into my flower shop that I dreaded seeing. She was a blond (no shade, so am I) but she was the stereotypical "type". She wanted to buy greeting cards for her various friends and relatives. She would stand there looking at all my cards and finally she would pick one and bring it to me. "Do you think aunt Betty would like this card?" Okay, I don't know your aunt Betty, I've never met her and I could not give two shits. But being the good retail slave that I was, I'd say "Gee, I don't know. It's a cute card." That was never good enough. She would bring me card after card and ask me the same question. I used to wonder how she even got herself up and dressed in the morning.

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My mom also dealt with that sort of thing when she worked at a Pier 1 store years ago. She'd have people coming in and asking if such and such furniture or pillows or whatever would fit well within their house, and she'd be thinking, "...I don't know, I've never seen your house...?" 

And it's not so much the "feigning ignorance" thing in my case, but when I worked at our local bookstore, I'd get customers wanting to buy books for their grandchildren, but they often never gave me any real parameters to work with. I'd ask what kinds of books the kids were into and they'd be like, "I don't know/I'm not really sure". Well, okay, I mean, I can make some recommendations, and mention a few series I know are popular, but I also don't want to recommend something that might be above or below their reading level, or something that their parents may not want them to read, or whatever. It would help to have some further info to help narrow the options down a little. 

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23 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

My mom also dealt with that sort of thing when she worked at a Pier 1 store years ago. She'd have people coming in and asking if such and such furniture or pillows or whatever would fit well within their house, and she'd be thinking, "...I don't know, I've never seen your house...?" 

And it's not so much the "feigning ignorance" thing in my case, but when I worked at our local bookstore, I'd get customers wanting to buy books for their grandchildren, but they often never gave me any real parameters to work with. I'd ask what kinds of books the kids were into and they'd be like, "I don't know/I'm not really sure". Well, okay, I mean, I can make some recommendations, and mention a few series I know are popular, but I also don't want to recommend something that might be above or below their reading level, or something that their parents may not want them to read, or whatever. It would help to have some further info to help narrow the options down a little. 

Or that they had possibly already read. 

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This is a really petty pet peeve, but I hate it when I get a hankering for a certain food and when I get to the store they don't have it in stock.  I really, really wanted some Klondike Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream Bars and they had every flavor except that one.  I like the chocolate mint ones okay, but darn it, I wanted the PB ones!  So I picked up a pack of cream horns from the bakery. Totally different, but I'll live with it. :) 

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2 hours ago, BooksRule said:

This is a really petty pet peeve, but I hate it when I get a hankering for a certain food and when I get to the store they don't have it in stock.  I really, really wanted some Klondike Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream Bars and they had every flavor except that one.  I like the chocolate mint ones okay, but darn it, I wanted the PB ones!  So I picked up a pack of cream horns from the bakery. Totally different, but I'll live with it. :) 

I just saw that at the store today. I thought I would be sure to buy it this summer. Sounds good to me!

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11 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

Wow if asked I probably couldn't name a single Neil Young song, but when I played this I sang along and knew all the words! (I'm 72 by the way...)

I'm like that too.  I'm 66.9 and I grew up on Neil Young and company and every other popular group, but I never know the names of albums and songs the way so many people do. (Not the way I know movies and TV . . .)   So I have to Google a famous song to find out that oh, yeah, of course I know that.   I also have an inability to understand most lyrics.  So I just hum along, occasionally singing the chorus.

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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21 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

There was a woman who used to come into my flower shop that I dreaded seeing. She was a blond (no shade, so am I) but she was the stereotypical "type". She wanted to buy greeting cards for her various friends and relatives. She would stand there looking at all my cards and finally she would pick one and bring it to me. "Do you think aunt Betty would like this card?" Okay, I don't know your aunt Betty, I've never met her and I could not give two shits. But being the good retail slave that I was, I'd say "Gee, I don't know. It's a cute card." That was never good enough. She would bring me card after card and ask me the same question. I used to wonder how she even got herself up and dressed in the morning.

I wonder if this woman is lonely or has mental health issues and just wants to strike up a conversation with someone.  Is she "of a certain age" or is she young?

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22 hours ago, SusannahM said:

It was also the coy pretending that she'd never heard of him.  She reminded me of women I've known who act helpless around men.  They put themselves down in ways that makes them sound like they can't even walk and talk at the same time, but they think it makes them sound all feminine and cute as hell.  Ugh.  

I will make fun of myself if I'm clueless about something. I hate working on cars for example. It's more me being self-deprecating than trying to be cute. I think intelligence is sexy, not being a bimbo. I try to do it in a way that doesn't suggest if I don't know how to do something it's because I'm incapable. I find it annoying when women think it's cute to be a child in a grown woman's body. I've said this before, but one of my pet peeves is when women speak in an unnaturally high pitch. Men like for women to sound like women, but no normal guy wants a cartoon right? Don't think they want to be with women where they have to take care of every little thing either. Or having to constantly console someone who cries over everything. 

Edited by RealHousewife
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4 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I wonder if this woman is lonely or has mental health issues and just wants to strike up a conversation with someone.  Is she "of a certain age" or is she young?

Youngish. Probably mid thirties to forty. She was just a ditz. She worked up on the 20th floor at a law firm.  My shop was in the lobby of  a high rise office building. People liked to hang out there. Sometimes one of the designers would bring his dog. You should have seen people's body language change when they got off the elevator and saw that dog. Their shoulders would unslump, they would raise their sunken chins and a big smile would flash on their faces. I love seeing that.

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Snoops! In particular phone snoops. Most of us agree that it's wrong to go through someone's phone. But what's up with people who stare at your phone as you're texting or doing whatever? I don't mind so much if I have a giant image that's obvious. But my sister and I have a mutual friend who looks over our shoulders and comments on everything.

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I'm 47 and offended at y'all who are older than I am not knowing any Neil Young songs. OFFENDED!

I only have Spotify because my much younger friend lets me use her account, but I'm symbolically boycotting right now. And I feel kind of vindicated because at first, I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of Spotify. (Me to my friend: "How do you not own your music??") But look at me now: I can listen to my music on other platforms. I don't have to rent to listen.

Edited by bilgistic
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May I make a suggestion for all y'all regarding the Neil Young/Spotify issue, just so you can be fully educated before you do or don't boycott the service depending on your take on this issue? Follow this link:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/neil-youngs-long-record-of-spreading-scientific-misinformation

Pet peeve (must stay on topic, eh?): Simplistic media synopses of complicated situations.

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It's pretty simple. Neil Young, along with 270 health experts, is urging Spotify to remove Joe Rogan's podcast because of the "misinformation" that he deliberately spreads to his wide listener base about COVID, including that ivermectin is a cure.

Young had polio in childhood, and one could deduce that influences his feelings about vaccines. Vaccines save lives. Rogan adds literally nothing of value to the world.

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Neil Young's stances have been, as Jacob Rosenberg (Mother Jones) said, "as imperfect, weird, and fascinating as his music", and an open letter to Spotify he published and quickly removed has been overblown in the media, yes.  But drawing attention to the blatantly false and just as dangerous misinformation spread by Joe Rogan, and the platforms that provide him a means to disseminate these lies, is a good thing.  That part isn't complicated at all.

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2 hours ago, luv2lurk said:

Joni Mitchell is now also removing her songs from Spotify.

https://variety.com/2022/music/news/joni-mitchell-spotify-removing-music-joe-rogan-1235166691/

My peeve: Why is it only Canadian singer/songwriters that are taking this stance?

Why is it only older singer/songwriters doing it? Where's Ariana Grande? Where's Drake? Where's Lady Gaga? Where's Justin Bieber? etc., etc., etc.

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13 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I will make fun of myself if I'm clueless about something. I hate working on cars for example. It's more me being self-deprecating than trying to be cute. I think intelligence is sexy, not being a bimbo. I try to do it in a way that doesn't suggest if I don't know how to do something it's because I'm incapable. I find it annoying when women think it's cute to be a child in a grown woman's body. I've said this before, but one of my pet peeves is when women speak in an unnaturally high pitch. Men like for women to sound like women, but no normal guy wants a cartoon right? Don't think they want to be with women where they have to take care of every little thing either. Or having to constantly console someone who cries over everything. 

I have more of an issue when I want to learn how to do something, so that I can be of help, and I'm just waved off - it's easier for them to do it themselves. With some things, I may feel just as gross and pissed off doing them, such as my dad trying to clear out a blocked pipe/drain, but I can still try. 

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Peeve for a snowy day -- no matter how carefully and completely I think I've removed snow from my car (and I absolutely DO remove snow from the top of the car!), snow still flies into the car when I open the door.  And no matter how carefully I try to brush it off the seat of the car, I can't ever get it all, and it ends up melting, giving me a wet seat.

Giant peeve -- people who don't clean all the snow off their cars.  Giant slabs of snow and ice flying off the tops of cars is incredibly dangerous.

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10 hours ago, Anela said:

I have more of an issue when I want to learn how to do something, so that I can be of help, and I'm just waved off - it's easier for them to do it themselves. With some things, I may feel just as gross and pissed off doing them, such as my dad trying to clear out a blocked pipe/drain, but I can still try. 

That's good.  That's all I require of my friends if I'm going to help them fix something - that I'm teaching them, not doing it for them.  I'm showing them how, so they can do it on their own next time.  If they don't want to learn how, just want someone to do it, then they need to hire someone (unless they're in a tough financial situation at the time, in which case I will happily do them that favor).

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I'm peeving and laughing at the same time.

Okay, so this is our oven:

image.png.3c0b41df27355527dcb2783ac68a5426.png

I'm making ribs for dinner, and my sister calls while I'm putting on the rub and packing them in foil. I had already preheated the oven, and while I'm still talking to my sister, my husband comes into the kitchen, and I hand him the pan of ribs and ask him to put them in the oven. Eventually my sister and I hang up and I go into another room with the kitchen timer, because I have to flip the ribs at the halfway point, an hour into cooking. I open the bottom door--and no ribs. What???

He put them in the top part. Which wasn't on.

So I show him, and he says, "You said to put them in the oven. I put them in the oven."

Can't argue with that.

There's an hour of my life I'm not getting back.

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14 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

I'm peeving and laughing at the same time.

Okay, so this is our oven:

image.png.3c0b41df27355527dcb2783ac68a5426.png

I'm making ribs for dinner, and my sister calls while I'm putting on the rub and packing them in foil. I had already preheated the oven, and while I'm still talking to my sister, my husband comes into the kitchen, and I hand him the pan of ribs and ask him to put them in the oven. Eventually my sister and I hang up and I go into another room with the kitchen timer, because I have to flip the ribs at the halfway point, an hour into cooking. I open the bottom door--and no ribs. What???

He put them in the top part. Which wasn't on.

So I show him, and he says, "You said to put them in the oven. I put them in the oven."

Can't argue with that.

There's an hour of my life I'm not getting back.

He did not notice that the oven was cold? 

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@Mondrianyone this is definitely something my husband could do.  There is no common sense in his approach to the kitchen, and it’s probably too late now.   Keep in mind he is someone who graduated with top honors from an Ivy League college. Graduated from the medical school of another. Has practiced medicine at a top NYC medical school/hospital for lo these many years, leading a division. Well, clearly he hasn’t spent his time cooking, but in recent years he’s learned a few things. We took some hands on cooking classes at vacation spots, which was a lot of fun. Now he acts as my sous chef for hello fresh meal kits and can even follow their directions and make the whole meal himself.  And yet . . .


Last night, we were making a hello fresh dinner. The instructions said zest and quarter the lemon. He has seen me do this before. He has done it before. But instead of zesting the lemon first with the microplane grater and then quartering it, he quartered it first and then started zesting the quarters, leaving a gloppy mess. Luckily I had another lemon in the fridge, so I got some dry zest out of it. This is an example where doing something wrong teaches you why it’s wrong, and he will remember it. We had a good laugh. But I had absorbed these sorts of lessons at such a young age, unconsciously. He was not exposed to that stimulus. He was raised by wolves in a way, a story for another day.  His ineptitude does not stem from privilege. 
 

ETA:  the irony is my husband is licensed by the State of New York to cut into human flesh with a scalpel, and he is good at it, yet he can’t handle a lemon. LOL. 

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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What's scary is, I suspect they might have gone to undergraduate at the same school. Yikes.

We had a similar citrus experience. I needed orange zest but not the guts of the orange, so I told him he could eat the one orange we had in the house if he let me have the zest. But not necessarily in that order. So he ate the orange and thoughtfully left me the peel. And where we live now, you can't just pop out and get another orange and pop back home in five minutes. Somehow I zested the peel.

Fortunately, my husband is not licensed to cut into human flesh.

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On 1/28/2022 at 11:36 PM, bilgistic said:

It's pretty simple. Neil Young, along with 270 health experts, is urging Spotify to remove Joe Rogan's podcast because of the "misinformation" that he deliberately spreads to his wide listener base about COVID, including that ivermectin is a cure.

Young had polio in childhood, and one could deduce that influences his feelings about vaccines. Vaccines save lives. Rogan adds literally nothing of value to the world.

 

On 1/29/2022 at 12:11 AM, luv2lurk said:

Joni Mitchell is now also removing her songs from Spotify.

https://variety.com/2022/music/news/joni-mitchell-spotify-removing-music-joe-rogan-1235166691/

My peeve: Why is it only Canadian singer/songwriters that are taking this stance?

 

On 1/29/2022 at 12:40 AM, Bastet said:

Neil Young's stances have been, as Jacob Rosenberg (Mother Jones) said, "as imperfect, weird, and fascinating as his music", and an open letter to Spotify he published and quickly removed has been overblown in the media, yes.  But drawing attention to the blatantly false and just as dangerous misinformation spread by Joe Rogan, and the platforms that provide him a means to disseminate these lies, is a good thing.  That part isn't complicated at all.

Co-sign all of the above.

On 1/29/2022 at 3:07 AM, GaT said:

Why is it only older singer/songwriters doing it? Where's Ariana Grande? Where's Drake? Where's Lady Gaga? Where's Justin Bieber? etc., etc., etc.

The more attention this gets, the better. Rogan, his defenders, and people/entities that spread his misinformation and disinformation  are a clear and present danger to public health.

 

On 1/29/2022 at 5:05 AM, Anela said:

I have more of an issue when I want to learn how to do something, so that I can be of help, and I'm just waved off - it's easier for them to do it themselves. With some things, I may feel just as gross and pissed off doing them, such as my dad trying to clear out a blocked pipe/drain, but I can still try. 

YouTube is a great resource. I subscribe to a channel called "Dad, How Do I...?, and one called the 
HomeownerSeries. I've learned so much from both. I replaced all of my faucets and door knobs after watching some videos and saw how easy it was. I decided against a couple of other projects because I felt they were outside my skillset and better suited for a handyperson.

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5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

3 way stop signs, and people who don’t understand when it says, opposing traffic does not stop.

When I first moved to PA, these 3-way stop signs were new to me. Thankfully, I’ve gotten the hang of them. 
My peeve is people who want to make a right on red when you’re facing them in an intersection and you get a green arrow to make your left. I can’t count how many times I’ve been cut off at a particular intersection In town.

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18 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I'm afraid I don't understand the three-way stop sign.  Can someone explain?  I have never seen that explicitly on a sign in NYS.   I've tried Googling, but I'm just getting more confused.

This may give you an idea, it’s not easy to explain:

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jborden.com/2019/07/18/when-does-stop-not-mean-stop-in-pennsylvania-apparently/amp/

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Thank you for this information.  Maybe I should stay the heck out of PA.  Wow, that's confusing, as it seems to authorize a rolling turn without a full stop for the right turn--the kind of thing that gets you a ticket in NYS.

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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The rolling right turn prohibition is annoying, since I would only do it at the kind of intersection where there is no traffic in any other direction, e.g., an intersection where there is no oncoming traffic as you are on a one-way street, and no cross traffic either, as the street dead ends.  We have a bunch of these in my neighborhood.  You wonder why there is a stop sign at all.

Edited by EtheltoTillie

I'd like to add a related peeve re traffic circles, or roundabouts. 
In our area, they recently expanded some circles to two lane circles in higher traffic areas.  I thought this would alleviate the tie ups that had been clogging those intersections, but it's just worse.  It's very hard to get in to a lane. 

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Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

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