Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Annber03]

1 minute ago, Browncoat said:

And for today’s peeve — the Fourth of July was last week.  Stop with the bloody fireworks already!

YES. 

[Bastet]

I didn't hear any fireworks on the 5th this year.  Bombs for hours on the 4th, but just one or two pops on the 3rd (which is what really surprised me, since that was a Saturday) and none since.  Maybe that fireworks shortage was in effect here, and everyone shot their wad on the 4th.  Works for me!

[peacheslatour]

Quote

Seems like a whole lot of (the same?) people understand the First Amendment about as well as they understand HIPAA.

How do you understand the First Amendment?

[TattleTeeny]

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

Bless you for spelling HIPAA correctly. You’re right, there are a lot of people who throw HIPAA out there who clearly don’t even understand the most basic aspect of it. 

Haha, I better — I’m a copy editor for healthcare-related stuff!

[Stats Queen]

On 7/8/2021 at 9:14 AM, Sweedish Fish said:

I'm having a very stressful time with Wayfair and FedEx.  I'm moving next week, ordered furniture and put it on a Vacation Hold with fedex.  Well they delivered last week to an apt that I am not even at.  grrrrr.  After many calls to both of them, I think it is resolved?  They (Wayfair) told me yesterday that they re-ordered the furniture and if the original boxes are still there - keep them or donate them.

Anyone need a loveseat and two chairs that have been sitting in the rain?  sigh.

I’ve had three bad experiences with WayFair and FedEx. FedEx misdelivering and horrible WayFair customer support. Once it was a lamp that was never delivered. They send us a replacement. 2 weeks later the original lamp showed up at the bottom of our driveway. Called WayFair about the picking up the lamp but they never showed up. The room looks much better with 2 lamps.

Awful experiences with FedEx in general the last 2 years.

[peacheslatour]

45 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

I’ve had three bad experiences with WayFair and FedEx. FedEx misdelivering and horrible WayFair customer support. Once it was a lamp that was never delivered. They send us a replacement. 2 weeks later the original lamp showed up at the bottom of our driveway. Called WayFair about the picking up the lamp but they never showed up. The room looks much better with 2 lamps.

Awful experiences with FedEx in general the last 2 years.

I've heard nothing but terrible things about WayFair. 

[TattleTeeny]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

How do you understand the First Amendment?

Me personally? I’m just referring to those who interpret it as “words should have no consequences (unless and until I disagree with those words).”

Edited July 10, 2021 by TattleTeeny

[supposebly]

8 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I've heard nothing but terrible things about WayFair. 

I've had no issues. I have a large cat tree from them, a cat cage for outside, and a few sets of bedsheets that I love.

[SuprSuprElevated]

1 hour ago, supposebly said:

I've had no issues. I have a large cat tree from them, a cat cage for outside, and a few sets of bedsheets that I love.

I've ordered several things without problems as well, though admittedly, not much in the last few years.

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I've ordered several things without problems as well, though admittedly, not much in the last few years.

Good to know. I've just seen so many complaints about their customer service (or lack thereof).

[GaT]

19 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

Sometimes people say things that they think they are going to land one way, but unfortunately they land in a way that wasn't intended.   As a social awkward person, that happens a lot.  It isn't an excuse, it is my reality.  Unless there is some underlying issue in which I am trying to piss people off.  I don't think there is, but the problem is that as a socially awkward person, it is hard to undo the damage without making matters significantly worse.   When I get stressed, self-destructive words come out.  Especially when I try to be funny.  Smart ass comes out as jackass.

I do think intent matters.   Jumping down someone's throat over one comment isn't enough to judge anyone by.   I think there has to be a long pattern of things being said, but even then I try to cut people some slack, because there are some individuals (raises hand) that seem to always choose the wrong words when speaking.

Social awkwardness is going to be an even bigger problem, given how so many people would rather text than talk.  The art of conversation is quickly become a lost art, because it isn't being developed through practice.

I also think that people ought to spend less time on trying to cancel others and more time trying to forgive others.  People make mistakes, that is always going to happen.  A difference of opinion shouldn't be a deal breaker.

Thank you for reminding me of another pet peeve. IMO, the problem isn't not meaning something to be taken the way you posted, the problem is that there was probably no real reason for you to post in the first place (I don't mean you specifically, I mean people in general). Too many people feel like their opinion is a lot more important than it is, & they need to make sure everybody knows how they feel. You don't have to post every friggin' thought that comes into your head, most people really don't care what you think. Also, you're not going viral, you're not going to be internet famous, nobody is going to make tee shirts with your thoughts printed on them. In other words, STFU. 

Edited July 11, 2021 by GaT

[WinnieWinkle]

7 minutes ago, GaT said:

You don't have to post every friggin' thought that comes into your head, most people really don't care what you think. Also, you're not going viral, you're not going to be internet famous, nobody is going to make tee shirts with your thoughts printed on them. In other words, STFU. 

I have a young relative who has to coment on news stories and ends up getting into online spats with total strangers as a result.  I see this because it ends up on her FB newsfeed (which is one of the reason she is now blocked on MY FB page).  Anyway she thinks she is the equivalent of a university professor and she's lecturing the masses.   I guess the thumbs up she does get are a thrill for her but I think she genuinely believes she is bringing enlightenment to the world.  She can't see that (a) no one is going to change their minds about something based on what she says and (b) she's not as smart as she thinks she is and when she pompously posts this is revealed to all.

[GaT]

24 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

She can't see that (a) no one is going to change their minds about something based on what she says and (b) she's not as smart as she thinks she is and when she pompously posts this is revealed to all.

Exactly. I think it's a way for people to feel important & it's ridiculous

Edited July 10, 2021 by GaT

[JustHereForFood]

3 hours ago, GaT said:

Thank you for reminding me of another pet peeve. IMO, the problem isn't not meaning something to be taken the way you posted, the problem is that there was probably no real reason for you to post in the first place (II don't mean you specifically, I mean people in general). Too many people feel like their opinion is a lot more important than it is, & they need to make sure everybody knows how they feel. You don't have to post every friggin' thought that comes into your head, most people really don't care what you think. Also, you're not going viral, you're not going to be internet famous, nobody is going to make tee shirts with your thoughts printed on them. In other words, STFU. 

I don't even mind that that much when people post, because I can just ignore those comments, but this bugs me with people in real life. I used to have a colleague who sat next to me and I swear, she could not keep her mouth shut for more that few minutes, she had to voice every single thing that she thought. I thought that made her look dumb, because sometimes you could follow the line of thinking and she would say something stupid, then slowly talk herself out of it. I was just like, could you not have this process in your head, then just say the result? I'm sure if I voiced all my thought process, I would also come off as much more dumb.

[Anela]

3 hours ago, GaT said:

Exactly. I think it's a way for people to feel important & it's ridiculous

I've gone through a phase like that, and it didn't make me feel important at all. I feel like it was just another bad habit to break. You pay more attention to what's going on, because it seems important. You comment on this, and maybe get dragged into something else - that's what ended up happening with me. I was a part of a forum, in which I was usually the lone person of my political persuasion, and I might pop in just to see "Anela believes this" or "Why hasn't Anela commented on this? *Crickets*!" and it was feeling like middle school, all over again. 

I also felt like I was losing my mind, with everything going on last year. I know, and used to follow, too many people who believed in conspiracy theories. Last weekend, I ended up arguing with a friend, after finding out that she believes in Qanon. It's one thing when something is just some vague, silly thing on the internet. It's another when people you know and respect, fall for something like that. 

Anyway, I've been on a habit-change kick recently, so I've been typing, and then deleting comments all over the place, when it comes to things like that. 

[SoMuchTV]

3 hours ago, GaT said:

Thank you for reminding me of another pet peeve. IMO, the problem isn't not meaning something to be taken the way you posted, the problem is that there was probably no real reason for you to post in the first place (II don't mean you specifically, I mean people in general). Too many people feel like their opinion is a lot more important than it is, & they need to make sure everybody knows how they feel. You don't have to post every friggin' thought that comes into your head, most people really don't care what you think. Also, you're not going viral, you're not going to be internet famous, nobody is going to make tee shirts with your thoughts printed on them. In other words, STFU. 

Thank you for posting that.  I was trying to find a polite, sympathetic, non-socially-awkward way to say, you just don't have to respond to everything.  If people are constantly taking your responses the wrong way, maybe back off for a bit.  And with that I've just violated my own advice.

[Anela]

On 7/8/2021 at 3:51 PM, TattleTeeny said:

Hostel was almost an exception for me, in that I guess I didn't expect such a resonance after the fact; I thought it was going to be a "fluffy" late-'90s Wrong Turn kind movie...but it was not. Oof, that thing crept back into my head for days!

I'm veering off topic, so PEEVE: unnecessary twist endings in horror movies that were perfectly good solid scary stories until the last quarter, when said twist rears its ugly head! 

Same here. I recently guessed the ending to a TV show, that was throwing out red herrings all over the place. I only guessed the ending, because I realized there was only one thing left,  that would count as a "shocking twist". 

[Leeds]

57 minutes ago, Anela said:

 

I also felt like I was losing my mind, with everything going on last year. I know, and used to follow, too many people who believed in conspiracy theories. Last weekend, I ended up arguing with a friend, after finding out that she believes in Qanon. It's one thing when something is just some vague, silly thing on the internet. It's another when people you know and respect, fall for something like that. 

 

Can you explain what Qanon is?  (In days of yore I would have Googled it, but I've learnt that's a mistake.)  Thanks!

[SoMuchTV]

23 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Can you explain what Qanon is?  (In days of yore I would have Googled it, but I've learnt that's a mistake.)  Thanks!

I think they’re referring to q-anon? But still, if you haven’t already heard of it, maybe best to just leave it alone. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

34 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Can you explain what Qanon is?  (In days of yore I would have Googled it, but I've learnt that's a mistake.)  Thanks!

Probably safer to research that subject independent of here.  Politics and all that.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 7/8/2021 at 3:37 PM, Bastet said:

But the whole Purge thing is not just something I don't want to watch, but something I'm disturbed by the idea of.

That is what makes it a horror film to me.  The whole idea is something I find disturbing too.  

I don't like torture porn either. The worst of all the ones I failed to avoid was Wolf Creek. I liked Hostel because  as with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, there was actually very little onscreen violence.  It was the idea behind it. I've never much cared for Last House on the Left since it's IMO a much nastier blame-the-victim version of The Virgin Spring.

[Leeds]

40 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

I think they’re referring to q-anon? But still, if you haven’t already heard of it, maybe best to just leave it alone. 

 

30 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Probably safer to research that subject independent of here.  Politics and all that.

Thanks, both of you.  I'm steering clear!

[TattleTeeny]

13 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

That is what makes it a horror film to me.  The whole idea is something I find disturbing too.  

I don't like torture porn either. The worst of all the ones I failed to avoid was Wolf Creek. I liked Hostel because  as with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, there was actually very little onscreen violence.  It was the idea behind it. I've never much cared for Last House on the Left since it's IMO a much nastier blame-the-victim version of The Virgin Spring.

Yes! TCM and Hostel, afterward, SEEM like there was more violence than there actually was! And that to me is so interesting and somehow profound; I feel like that is brilliant in such a weird way! But I didn’t feel like LHotL blamed the victim; I was left feeling sad and upset, but in a “good” (yet horrible) way, in terms of what one is supposed to “get” from a horror movie. Ugh, it’s a hard-to-articulate feeling. Still, I cannot do The Purge—no idea why that’s my limit. 

Edited July 11, 2021 by TattleTeeny

[Caoimhe]

17 hours ago, Anela said:

Anyway, I've been on a habit-change kick recently, so I've been typing, and then deleting comments all over the place, when it comes to things like that. 

I’ve done that for years!  It makes me feel better to express what I want to say without the ensuing drama if I actually posted it.

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, Caoimhe said:

I’ve done that for years!  It makes me feel better to express what I want to say without the ensuing drama if I actually posted it.

Same here. I can get too wordy at times so I always go through my posts and remove and/or scale down to about half of what I originally said.

[Mindthinkr]

I have a Pet Peeve. I had bought 5 quarts of assorted flavors of ice cream and pops. I had company. I went to have some this afternoon and all of them were half eaten with a spoon. Now I don’t care if they had used my scooper and had a bowl of each, but all the pops are gone and there are no uncontaminated flavors left for me to eat. Sigh. I rarely eat ice cream so it churns me to have it there, but not be able to eat it. 

[Quof]

Are you sure you didn't do it in your sleep?  I would have. 

[Bastet]

Wow.  I eat ice cream out of the container because it's just me.  I also have friends that if we're having ice cream together, we'll just grab two spoons and dig in (fewer dishes to deal with, and we don't care about germs).  But even with them, knowing they wouldn't care, it wouldn't occur to me to, on my own, just grab a spoon, open their freezer, and have at it. 

(Now, I do that when I'm kitty-sitting at my parents' house while they're vacationing, but we all regard that as still being my other home and I also know they don't give a hoot about my germs.  It's a very family-specific situation it wouldn't occur to me to replicate elsewhere no matter how comfortable I am there.)

And half each of five different flavors gone without you ever having seen anyone eating it?  How many people were staying with you?  Were they raised by wolves?  That's just weird on top of rude.  I know you work so hard to be a good host, it irks me that someone shat on your hospitality.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

And half each of five different flavors gone without you ever having seen anyone eating it?  How many people were staying with you?  Were they raised by wolves?  That's just weird on top of rude.  I know you work so hard to be a good host, it irks me that someone shat on your hospitality.

Agreed. I'd be tempted to sit them down, shine a bright light in their faces and shout "Can you account for your whereabouts on the night of July 10th, 2021?"

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I have a Pet Peeve. I had bought 5 quarts of assorted flavors of ice cream and pops. I had company. I went to have some this afternoon and all of them were half eaten with a spoon. Now I don’t care if they had used my scooper and had a bowl of each, but all the pops are gone and there are no uncontaminated flavors left for me to eat. Sigh. I rarely eat ice cream so it churns me to have it there, but not be able to eat it. 

Same.  I can never understand why people eat out ice cream out of the container while at the same time believing that double dipping is gross.  As a little girl, I thought TV characters eating ice cream directly from the container was gross and could never understand why they'd do it and then put it back in the freezer.  Unless there's a small portion left and you fully intend to eat the whole thing, WHHHYYYYYY????  You don't take a bite of chip and then dip it into the guacamole or salsa, do you?  No?  Then don't do that with ice cream.  

[theatremouse]

Are you sure they ate it directly out of the container with spoons as opposed to being too lazy to get a scoop when removing it from the container into a separate eating vessel? It is not uncommon for me to just use the spoon I will eventually eat with to "scoop" first. I never eat out of the carton, but I spoon it into a bowl or mug first, and then eat with that spoon.

[peacheslatour]

58 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Same.  I can never understand why people eat out ice cream out of the container while at the same time believing that double dipping is gross.  As a little girl, I thought TV characters eating ice cream directly from the container was gross and could never understand why they'd do it and then put it back in the freezer.  Unless there's a small portion left and you fully intend to eat the whole thing, WHHHYYYYYY????  You don't take a bite of chip and then dip it into the guacamole or salsa, do you?  No?  Then don't do that with ice cream.  

[Anela]

21 hours ago, Leeds said:

Can you explain what Qanon is?  (In days of yore I would have Googled it, but I've learnt that's a mistake.)  Thanks!

I would, but as others have said, I can't really talk about it here. There is a thread in HBO documentaries, and google should give you everything you need to know. :) There are also podcasts, and I saw a book in the bookstore, too. 

[SoMuchTV]

3 minutes ago, Anela said:

21 hours ago, Leeds said:

Can you explain what Qanon is?  (In days of yore I would have Googled it, but I've learnt that's a mistake.)  Thanks!

I would, but as others have said, I can't really talk about it here. There is a thread in HBO documentaries, and google should give you everything you need to know. :) There are also podcasts, and I saw a book in the bookstore, too. 

Wikipedia might be a relatively "safe" option to get some background.

[Gramto6]

There was some discussion in the Sister Wives threads, I think the Kody Brown one about Qanon. You might find some info there...

[Stats Queen]

On 7/10/2021 at 10:27 AM, SuprSuprElevated said:

I've ordered several things without problems as well, though admittedly, not much in the last few years.

My orders were great when they showed up. The quality of their products (with one exception) was great for the price. 
When things don’t show up, their customer service sucks. Thus easy to deal with if everything goes to their plan…

[ABay]

3 hours ago, theatremouse said:

Are you sure they ate it directly out of the container with spoons as opposed to being too lazy to get a scoop when removing it from the container into a separate eating vessel? 

I'm not lazy, I don't have a scoop. That's what spoons are for.

 

 

[PRgal]

44 minutes ago, ABay said:

I'm not lazy, I don't have a scoop. That's what spoons are for.

 

 

My family didn’t have a good scoop when I was little and used spoons as well.  But the ice cream went into bowls, cones or mugs/cups.  Nothing was ever eaten directly from the container unless there wasn’t much left.  

[isalicat]

I'm not sure this is really a "pet peeve" because I feel quite ballistic on the subject now (as in, ready to string the miscreants up by their ankles to a high branch in a nearby oak tree) but here goes. My son came down from Portland (OR) and we drove through a very lovely wooded canyon (taking the long way on purpose) on our way to go wine tasting here in central beachy California. I have never been on that road (narrow, winding two lanes) before but it was entirely rural with just a very few houses scattered along for about 7 miles or so. People had quite clearly brought their household trash (including furniture, TVs, and the like besides regular garbage) and just dumped it on the side of the road wherever they could. It was truly appalling. When I lived in the forest we knew of people that would drive up and leave trash and they got caught 9 times out of 10 by the Forest Service people (discarded mail is not a smart thing to leave with your trash) and severely fined. But this was so ubiquitous and defacing to such a pretty place. I also wondered if it ever gets cleaned up and if so, by who? By their ankles, I tell you!

[Gramto6]

Sadly they are probably just waiting for the next forest fire to sweep through and burn everything up! Lived through many a fire in CA for many years...not pretty things...

[Mindthinkr]

17 hours ago, Bastet said:

And half each of five different flavors gone without you ever having seen anyone eating it?  How many people were staying with you?  Were they raised by wolves?  That's just weird on top of rude.  I know you work so hard to be a good host, it irks me that someone shat on your hospitality.

It was one person!
I’m going to have words with him next visit. He comes once or twice a month to fish. He’s usually a very good guest and we have been friends 20 years. He’s around my daughter’s age and I consider him more like a son, but not close enough that I’m comfortable sharing germs with him. He dates and I don’t want whatever germs he might have from other people. I will be handing him a list of all the replacements he needs to buy. 

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

It was one person!
I’m going to have words with him next visit. He comes once or twice a month to fish. He’s usually a very good guest and we have been friends 20 years. He’s around my daughter’s age and I consider him more like a son, but not close enough that I’m comfortable sharing germs with him. He dates and I don’t want whatever germs he might have from other people. I will be handing him a list of all the replacements he needs to buy. 

Good for you. That's kind of a imposition on your hospitality.

[KittyMom4]

Pet Peeve:  I'm trying to unsubscribe from the numerous emails I signed up for. Sometimes it is as simple as clicking on the "unsubscribe" link but some companies make you jump through hoops, or the link itself goes nowhere. Also, since it is a company email address I use, sometimes the firewalls will make the link unusable. It's my own fault for signing up to begin with, going forward it ain't worth the 10-15% discount to do so. Tired of having to clear 70+emails in my junk file every morning....

[SuprSuprElevated]

37 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

Pet Peeve:  I'm trying to unsubscribe from the numerous emails I signed up for. Sometimes it is as simple as clicking on the "unsubscribe" link but some companies make you jump through hoops, or the link itself goes nowhere. Also, since it is a company email address I use, sometimes the firewalls will make the link unusable. It's my own fault for signing up to begin with, going forward it ain't worth the 10-15% discount to do so. Tired of having to clear 70+emails in my junk file every morning....

Yes!  The people that have dead "unsubscribe" links should be hung by their fingernails.  How on earth does anyone think that behavior will endear them to a potential customer?  They are the last emeffers I would ever buy from.

[Jane Tuesday]

Email marketer here!  If their unsubscribe links are dead, that's totally illegal (definitely in the US, Canada, and Europe, and probably everywhere).

If their links aren't working or your corporate filter is blocking them AND YOU KNOW IT'S A LEGITIMATE COMPANY, try replying with "unsubscribe" in the subject line.  The vast majority of email service providers will automatically process that as an unsubscribe.  If it's not a legitimate company, I'd just mark them as spam or block them and move on.  You'll stop getting them, and you'll also negatively impact their sender reputation, which will benefit us all.  :)

But please don't mark as spam unless it actually IS spam, because the negative repercussions of that can be really, REALLY hard for a legitimate, lawful sender to overcome.

Also, a quick tip... since all marketing emails MUST have an unsubscribe link, that's a quick way to filter and delete old marketing messages in a hurry.  Just search for "unsubscribe", check everything that comes up, and delete.

[KittyMom4]

@Jane Tuesday, thank you, that is very helpful! 

 

[shapeshifter]

Edited July 12, 2021 by shapeshifter

[Bastet]

6 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

It was one person!

Oh my. 

Given how long you've known each other and how frequently he visits, I understand him feeling very comfortable in your home, but come on.  I can't believe he didn't say anything about it, just let you discover it.  I mean, if I got that serious a case of the midnight ice cream munchies and wiped out half of a friend's 5-quart supply, I'd take my ass to the store and replenish it.

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, Jane Tuesday said:

Email marketer here!  If their unsubscribe links are dead, that's totally illegal (definitely in the US, Canada, and Europe, and probably everywhere).

If their links aren't working or your corporate filter is blocking them AND YOU KNOW IT'S A LEGITIMATE COMPANY, try replying with "unsubscribe" in the subject line.  The vast majority of email service providers will automatically process that as an unsubscribe.  If it's not a legitimate company, I'd just mark them as spam or block them and move on.  You'll stop getting them, and you'll also negatively impact their sender reputation, which will benefit us all.  :)

But please don't mark as spam unless it actually IS spam, because the negative repercussions of that can be really, REALLY hard for a legitimate, lawful sender to overcome.

Also, a quick tip... since all marketing emails MUST have an unsubscribe link, that's a quick way to filter and delete old marketing messages in a hurry.  Just search for "unsubscribe", check everything that comes up, and delete.

What if it's a company you want to hear from and their reduce number of emails link does not work? 

[Jane Tuesday]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

What if it's a company you want to hear from and their reduce number of emails link does not work? 

First I'd trying replying to the email and telling them what's up. Many companies will have someone monitoring those replies, or they'll be routed to customer service. If you don't hear back in a couple of days, go to their website and use the "contact us" form. Next option would be to direct message them on social media. If none of that works, it's time to go nuclear... start rage tweeting at them. 😉