S05.E07: Breaking Branches

[zoeysmom]

First look comes on Saturday, December 27th at 4:52 pm.

[cooksdelight]

I can only imagine the horror Yolanda would feel seeing so many fatties.

It would give Yo a new mission in life. Cleanse the entire town. She has the lemons to do it.

[cooksdelight]

I fell asleep with the TV on, then was startled awake to hear Brandi's screechy voice. Then seeing her constantly tugging at her dress to keep her boobs covered. I guess Lisa V decided to come to the party so she could sharpen her claws.

[Lakewood27]

Brandi's hair extensions... dear Lord, if you cannot afford to properly maintain them, please take those raggedy things off!

The scene with Lisa, Brandi, and Leeza Gibbons reminded me of the Daytime Emmys red carpet scene from Soapdish.

[cooksdelight]

How can she afford the house and the new car? Is she expecting some Saudi prince to sweep her off her feet and take care of monetary issues?

[Granimal]

After seeing the first look I'm convinced the, "Will-Lisa-come-or-not?" was manufactured drama. The set up for Lisa's big entrance (ha) was just too much. Either that, or Lisa likes the attention that the drama brings her just as much as Brandi does. Could Lisa the chess master have orchestrated the "fight" for a storyline for Bravo? I don't think so, but something about their current drama doesn't feel authentic. Its like the storyline that Jill wishes she could've had with Bethany, only more trashy. I would be convinced that Lisa and Brandi were in cahoots if not for the fact that Lisa would never approve of Brandi saying such vile things about her. A third option, that is probably closer to the truth, is that Lisa didn't want to be there but contractually had to be there and everyone knew it.

 

I LOVED the set up with Lisa's "hooker" shoes in the previous episode, and how they showed her shoes getting out of the car for the barbeque in this episode. Great editing Bravo! The only thing that would've made it better would be if Lisa were able to walk in heels.

[zoeysmom]

Brandi's mom should have taken her aside and had her change her dress.  Nothing looks worse than a 45 year old woman constantly tugging at her dress to holster her fake bobs back in the dress.  All I can say is way to make your dad feel uncomfortable talking about Yolanda's boobs.

 

I think this is another one year lease house and at the end of the year, if Brandi still has all five jobs she has an option to buy it.  What usually happens is the house gets shown and then the owner decides to market the house and Brandi can't qualify for a loan.  Of course it is always Eddie's fault.

[cooksdelight]

way to make your dad feel uncomfortable talking about Yolanda's boobs.

Not to mention touching them. Who does that? I mean, what normal woman will feel another's breasts in front of her guests?

[zoeysmom]

I am eagerly awaiting the full scene of Lisa and Brandi's parents together.  It sounds as if Lisa dumps Brandi's behavior back in her parents lap.  These the parents, who last year she had to make a special trip to see to patch things up after her father was upset with what Brandi wrote in her book about him.  Maybe not the nicest thing to do at someone's party but considering the host it is pretty perfect. 

 

Yolanda and Kyle on the sidelines as the "moving on" cheerleaders is pretty funny.

[panthergirl13]

I am eagerly awaiting the full scene of Lisa and Brandi's parents together.  It sounds as if Lisa dumps Brandi's behavior back in her parents lap.  

This may be the payoff after the last several boring episodes! (although god knows I can't quite take the credit/blame for everything my adult children do, so it's a bit of a cheap shot at this point in time)

 

Brandi's boob job is a mess. There was one shot where she turns and you can see the puckering (ala Tara Reid), and they don't even appear to be the same size. Maybe next time buy a cheaper house and invest in a better plastic surgeon? She might have had a little left over for decent hair extensions. (What's with the extensions, anyway? Can't women grow their own hair anymore? I don't get it.)

Edited December 28, 2014 by panthergirl13

[meeeeech]

Brandi should take a page out of  BFF Yolanda's book and get rid of the weave and cut her hair. It's pretty thin and lank and the extensions don't hide that in the least. In their mind putting on the extensions give them instant Joyce or Kyle level hair and it just...doesn't. Also extensions can damage the real hair they're clipped to. It's a vicious cycle.

I remember thinking Brandi was very pretty her first season on. Whatever she's doing to herself, it's making her looks deteriorate rather quickly. I would say that it doesn't matter and it's what's on the inside that counts, but it's Brandi. Being cute was one of her only positives.

[zoeysmom]

Brandi should take a page out of  BFF Yolanda's book and get rid of the weave and cut her hair. It's pretty thin and lank and the extensions don't hide that in the least. In their mind putting on the extensions give them instant Joyce or Kyle level hair and it just...doesn't. Also extensions can damage the real hair they're clipped to. It's a vicious cycle.

I remember thinking Brandi was very pretty her first season on. Whatever she's doing to herself, it's making her looks deteriorate rather quickly. I would say that it doesn't matter and it's what's on the inside that counts, but it's Brandi. Being cute was one of her only positives.

What is funny is Brandi is now on the Kyle needs to cut her hair or get layers campaign.  Maybe just maybe Kyle doesn't want her hair to look like it is comprised of extensions.  Long hair is not Brandi's friend nor are the larger breast implants-the ones she had put in and claimed she had a cancer scare-when she couldn't get any publicity.  Now Brandi is all about wearing short shorts-or hot pants and the tops cut down to her waist, sky high heels on her size 12 feet with the bird legs.  Not such a good look at 45.  Her ridiculous lack of style is really showcased in this episode.  Soon I am expecting her to get Lisa Rinna lips.

Edited December 29, 2014 by zoeysmom

[announcergirl]

I detest Brandi. That is all.

[Almost 3000]

I detest Brandi. That is all.

Brandi is down in the Slade pits of nastiness.

[Tara Ariano]

An unexpected party guest arrives at Brandi's housewarming bash. Meanwhile, Lisa Rinna is a guest host on "Access Hollywood Live"; Eileen tries a new exercise; Kyle anticipates her daughter's departure for college; Lisa Vanderpump hosts a charity event.

[jinjer]

Not to mention touching them. Who does that? I mean, what normal woman will feel another's breasts in front of her guests?

Um Lisa and Kyle area constantly doing this.  I don't get it.

[RedheadZombie]

Um Lisa and Kyle area constantly doing this.  I don't get it.

 

I've only ever seen this behavior in women with breast implants.  I remember an episode of Big Brother where the women laid around the pool, poking each other's implants.  It was the strangest thing.

[Almost 3000]

I agree that all the tit touching is a pride of implant thing but may have evolved into also touching them to prove they're the real thing too. I notice that people feel they can just touch pregnant bellies and implants. Its been done so much now that I barely notice anymore.

[Giselle]

I detest Brandi. That is all.

I always fast forward past her and will do again so when they show her house warming. I don't care for the bitch. She doesn't interest me and neither does her drama with LVP.

[LilaFowler]

Isn't this new house of Brandi's another rental? 

[sookisooki]

Ok. I am convinced the talk of Brandi, Lisa and Ken swinging from trees is true.  Awkward, awkward moments..... They just need to get back in bed and work off the sexual tension.  Nuff said.

[LilaFowler]

Eileen's THs are killing me.  I think she's hilarious.

[Otherkate]

I'm in love with Eileen. Brandi is gross. The end.

[Bronzedog]

I love Eileen too. Brandi makes my skin crawl.

[Rhetorica]

I missed the last episodes (lots of partying in Key West for the holiday). So having gone without the Housewives for two weeks, it was like watching for the first time again. I'll just quote Bart Simpson, "I didn't know something could suck and blow at the same time." 

[EVS]

This episode could be summed up In 3 words:

Too much Brandi

[imjagain]

I detest Brandi. That is all.

That is all you need.

[kira28]

Normally I don't condone violence but can someone please punch yolanda in the face?! I am so tired of her woe is me why didn't Lisa invite me to her star ceremony why didn't she invite me to her restaurant opening... Boo hoo. Then she tries to preach about how that's what friends do. Um Yo maybe get the hint that Lisa doesn't consider someone who led the charge against her in Puerto Rico a true friend. Brand is gross and classless. Who has a house warming party over a rental home? She's not doing anything differently than she did before. Shes just as foul mouthed and dirty looking. There is such a huge contrast between her and the other women. She shouldn't even be on the show. Her exchanges with Lisa were so awkward

[FlyingEgret]

Lisa V seemed just a little too excited to be dumping water on Yo - I only wish Yo had known more about it and challenged Lisa to do it. That would have been worth the price of watching this show!!

[Bazinga]

So confused.  The Lisa Brandi fight is all over Scheana being LV's "best friend" (which she obviously is not) and being brought around by Lisa????  And Brandi is the victim amongst all victims who were victimized?????!!!!  That isn't the reason for the dispute, that was just nonsense Brandi threw at Lisa when Lisa was attacking her to make herself be the victim.  Brandi betrayed Lisa and Ken's trust.  If Brandi's version was close to the truth, why would Brandi be apologizing?  Makes no sense.  More revisionist history then in a copy of '1984.'  Am I totally wrong about what the argument was about?  And all of the others seemed to agree. I was the only one going, huh?

 

And how do Kyle and Brandi get to decide when Lisa should forgive?

 

Brandi is just low class and disgusting.  Every comment is sex or boobs or both.  Like she has nothing else to say in a conversation.

 

Always has to be the victim, the poor cheated on single mom just trying to survive by being trashy. 

 

And Yolanda loves not being invited so she can point out how ill mannered Lisa is, not because she wanted to actually go.  Newsflash, Lisa doesn't consider any of you her friends and doesn't like you, Yolanda, Ms. perfect manners.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Bazinga

[Straycat80]

This is becoming the Brandi show. I'm not a prude but the things she says sometimes are disgusting to me. I hate the P word.

I find it hard to believe at her age Yo didn't know what the C word meant.

I also find it hard to believe Eileen and Lisa R. didn't do their homework on what was going on in past seasons between Lisa V and Brandi when they joined the show.

And I thought the big slap between Lisa and Brandi was going to be tonight. Lisa was guest host on E News and said it was suppose to happen tonight. Aw well....kind of boring season so far.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Straycat80

[CatMomma]

This ep was hilarious. 

 

Lisa: "Brandi told me to eat her pussy. Discuss...."

 

Veteran cast goes on to talk about how Lisa is the problem. New castmembers: "Huh?"

 

She couldn't be a master manipulator without the help of these dummies.

Edited December 31, 2014 by CatMomma

[Bronzedog]

I may be remembering last season incorrectly, but, from what I remember Brandi was on a bit of a let's-gang-up on Lisa campaign. I don't remember Lisa doing that much to Brandi. I have to agree with Lisa when she told Brandi she didn't understand why she'd want to be friends with her if everything Brandi said was true. But, I didn't understand Lisa telling Brandi's mother that she blamed the parents. I didn't take that as a joke. Other than blame them for not using birth control, why would she blame Brandi's parents?

[zoeysmom]

This ep was hilarious. 

 

Lisa: "Brandi told me to eat her pussy. Discuss...."

 

Veteran cast goes on to talk about how Lisa is the problem. New castmembers: "Huh?"

 

She couldn't be a master manipulator without the help of these dummies.

Lisa bog is up from last week.  She spends a great deal of time defending her position on why she did not want to invite the others to Palm Springs.  The weather apparently.  She throws a little shade Yolanda's way for calling Eileen her friend.  Lisa made a huge deal of her star and how the others would "ruin" the moment.  She went on to say Kyle's comment about holding grudges is bitchy all the while defending her reasons for not inviting the others and how little time she had spent with them. 

 

Kyle's blog is up from last week and she discusses ken saying that Kyle didn't congratulate Lisa on her star-Kyle who was in Spain and knew nothing of it.  Perhaps Lisa would not be considered such a master manipulator if she didn't devote so much time to disparaging the others in her blogs.  She can beat down Brandi all day long bit time to move on from both Kyle and Yolanda as she has asked them to do.

Edited December 31, 2014 by zoeysmom

[LilaFowler]

This is becoming the Brandi show. I'm not a prude but the things she says sometimes are disgusting to me. I hate the P word.

I find it hard to believe at her age Yo didn't know what the C word meant.

I also find it hard to believe Eileen and Lisa R. didn't do their homework on what was going on in past seasons between Lisa V and Brandi when they joined the show.

And I thought the big slap between Lisa and Brandi was going to be tonight. Lisa was guest host on E News and said it was suppose to happen tonight. Aw well....kind of boring season so far.

Is it possible that last season hadn't aired yet when this was filmed?  Brandi and Lisa were BFF until semi-recently.

[motorcitymom65]

So confused.  The Lisa Brandi fight is all over Scheana being LV's "best friend" (which she obviously is not) and being brought around by Lisa????  And Brandi is the victim amongst all victims who were victimized?????!!!!  That isn't the reason for the dispute, that was just nonsense Brandi threw at Lisa when Lisa was attacking her to make herself be the victim.  If that was close to the truth why would Brandi be apologizing?  Makes no sense.  Brandi betrayed Lisa and Ken's trust.  More revisionist history then in a copy of '1984.'  Am I totally wrong about what the argument was about?  And all of the others seemed to agree. I was the only one going, huh?

 

And how do Kyle and Brandi decide when Lisa should forgive?

 

Brandi is just low class and disgusting.  Every comment is sex or boobs or both.  Like she has nothing else to say in a conversation.

 

Always has to be the victim, the poor cheated on single mom just trying to survive by being trashy. 

 

And Yolanda loves not being invited so she can point out how ill mannered Lisa is, not because she wanted to actually go.  Newsflash, Lisa doesn't consider any of you her friends and doesn't like you, Yolanda, Ms. perfect manners.

The whole Scheana deal was the first we heard of any real rift between Lisa and Brandi.  Brandi had said a few things in her TH interviews prior to that about Lisa "mothering" her, but since the TH interviews are done many times throughout the season, who knows when Brandi filmed any of them. My memory is that Brandi always said that one of her biggest problems with Lisa was that she seemed to be inconsiderate about bringing Scheana around.  Brandi didn't go into the whole story at the table with the girls on the show tonight, but a big part of the deal was that Brandi later found out that Scheana was more than just an employee to Lisa - she was actually more of a friend.  Lisa had apparently never told Brandi she cared about her outside of work (actually she said on several occasions she was nothing more to her than an employee).  Brandi has always said she was pretty much willing to be with Scheana for the success of Lisa's show, but seeing pictures in the tabloids of Lisa out buying Scheana clothes, made Brandi realize that she had probably been duped (I cannot believe it took Brandi so long to put all of that together). According to Brandi, after that time, Lisa began to distance herself from Brandi (presumably after the tampon-baring incident), which upset Brandi further.  Brandi talked to Lisa about the whole Scheana deal both in PR (on the bus), and when they were speaking alone during the season finale party. 

[CatMomma]

Lisa bog is up from last week.  She spends a great deal of time defending her position on why she did not want to invite the others to Palm Springs.  The weather apparently.  She throws a little shade Yolanda's way for calling Eileen her friend.  Lisa made a huge deal of her star and how the others would "ruin" the moment.  She went on to say Kyle's comment about holding grudges is bitchy all the while defending her reasons for not inviting the others and how little time she had spent with them. 

 

Kyle's blog is up from last week and she discusses ken saying that Kyle didn't congratulate Lisa on her star-Kyle who was in Spain and knew nothing of it.  Perhaps Lisa would not be considered such a master manipulator if she didn't devote so much time to disparaging the others in her blogs.  She can beat down Brandi all day long bit time to move on from both Kyle and Yolanda as she has asked them to do.

 

Or, she wouldn't be considered such a master manipulator if they didn't spend so much damn time discussing her every move. The woman says, "Hi!" and they assume nefarious reasons.  It must be exhausting for both parties.

 

Sometimes, it just is what it is.  I'm not denying that Lisa knows how to play them, but damn, do they have to be such pawns?  I gotta respect her for playing these idiots. 

[Bazinga]

motorcitymom, so why is Brandi the one apologizing incessantly to Lisa if she is the aggrieved party?

Edited December 31, 2014 by Bazinga

[motorcitymom65]

Is it possible that last season hadn't aired yet when this was filmed?  Brandi and Lisa were BFF until semi-recently.

Brandi and Lisa haven't been BFF's for over a year. This season was filmed between July and November of this year. Last year's Reunion aired last February.  Brandi and Lisa's friendship had officially been over for months at that time. 

 

I agree that it is simply impossible to believe that the gals didn't watch the shows to catch up.  I never believe anyone who says this. Both Carlton and Yo said they had never watched the show at all.  Heather on the OC show said she hadn't been a viewer before she joined, but that at least she caught up on the series before she started filming.  

[Lola16]

Lisa V seemed just a little too excited to be dumping water on Yo - I only wish Yo had known more about it and challenged Lisa to do it. That would have been worth the price of watching this show!!

Do any of them get that they need to make a monetary donation *in addition* to the ice bucket dump?

 

Agree that Lisa V went to further her screen presence.  Woman doesn't want to be left out of anything.  A little surprised that she doesn't have come-backs ready for all the non-invite questions.  She should know by now that she's going to get asked.  And she should be prepared to paint herself in a better light.

 

Brandi.  Blech.  And her mom can just shut it too.

 

Who was the blonde woman with Eileen who brought her donated dresses in a hefty bag?  Just as classy as Angelina on Jersey Shore.

 

Enough with Portia.

[lunastartron]

Admittedly, two allusions doesn't necessarily indicate fixation, but Yolanda does seem to have some sort of psychological tic about things she regards as "Chinese." What is cunnilingus, is it Chinese? Don't apply eye makeup to Gigi like that, you'll make her look Chinese! Not to mention, when she was doing the disingenuous "whaa? Is it a vegetable?" bit, why didn't the cameraman/producer on set yell, "You're in America now! Speak English!" I earnestly do try to give her the benefit of the doubt when it comes to narratives like her angst over her daughter, but her butthurt posturing over her exclusion from Palm Springs was really tiresome. Like she gives a shit about Lisa, that fucking bitch who acts more superior than "Beyonce" and didn't even come to visit Yo when she was "locked in her house for eighteen months" like the multimillionaire Malibu version of Bertha Rochester. Also "being a single mom and getting divorced" is not the hardest thing you can do when you have hundreds of thousands to tens of millions of dollars on which to rely as a safety net . . . Eileen and Lisa R and their joint reactions at the post-charity event supper were hilarious. I miss Joyce after the brief clip from last year! It's not erecting orphanages in the third world, but I do like this particular philanthropic endeavor of Lisa's. It seems cute and thoughtful in that it addresses a need that's probably not considered all that often.

[motorcitymom65]

motorcitymom, so why is Brandi the one apologizing incessantly to Lisa if she is the agrieved party?

Brandi should apologize, because eventually, as per usual with Brandi, she takes something that has happened to her that is hurtful and possibly wrong, and burns down the house in her anger.  IMO Lisa probably did treat Brandi like shit and Brandi had every right to be pissed. Unfortunately, Brandi went way too far in her anger and decided to make Lisa pay. She tried to turn Kyle against Lisa, and went on a rampage on Social Media defaming Lisa and Ken (the bankruptcy deal). She absolutely went after Lisa in a vile way.  While I will always believe there is something to the whole magazine deal, I also think that Brandi blew it all up and turned it into something it probably wasn't in order to hurt Lisa. This is just what she does and it is so disgusting. 

[EVS]

Normally I don't condone violence but can someone please punch yolanda in the face?! I am so tired of her woe is me why didn't Lisa invite me to her star ceremony why didn't she invite me to her restaurant opening... Boo hoo. Then she tries to preach about how that's what friends do. Um Yo maybe get the hint that Lisa doesn't consider someone who led the charge against her in Puerto Rico a true friend.

Plus, when Brandi said about Lisa "we love her but..", Yo chimed in with something like "love is a strong word", another sign that they are not great friends so why would Lisa invite her anywhere? Yo really is like a dog with a bone when she feels like someone has slighted her socially.

[CatMomma]

motorcitymom, so why is Brandi the one apologizing incessantly to Lisa if she is the aggrieved party?

Especially when said person is awful...AWFUL I tell you.

 

But, they all do it.  They all want to be her friend despite the fact that she's a manipulative horrible person.

 

I do want to add that I am really digging Lisa R.  She managed to handle the original Billie debate with class. She didn't lose her shit, just said to Brandi without a hint of malice, "Maybe you liked the other Billie more..."

[Katesus7]

Well tonight was both boring and annoying. No rich people porn for me. Don't care about Brandi's latest rental which we all know will not last. And don't care about Lisa's latest restaurant, which looks as tacky to me as her others. Nothing else really to drool over, other than the thought of Eileen casually walking down from her house to that gorgeous beach to exercise. So jealous.

So as of now, I love Eileen. She clearly has no time for the bullshit (as of now, of course), has her own opinions, and is snarky in the way I like my realty show people to be snarky - witty, but not too mean. Thumbs up.

Kyle, I love you, I do. But stop trying to make Portia happen. For her sake, for your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake! It's just going to end badly. No one should ever aspire to create another Milania.

Lisa is playing Brandi like a fiddle. Brandi is so out of her depth here, Lisa is always two steps ahead. I despise Brandi, so am totally fine with it. Doesn't really make me like Lisa any better, though.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Katesus7

[lunastartron]

In Brandi's commentary on Adrienne ("I'm proud not only of myself but of her as well"), has she ever specified what Adrienne supposedly did that it warrants Brandi's forgiveness? 'Cause I cannot recall anything that Adrienne really ever did to antagonize Brandi specifically.

[izabella]

Enough with Portia.

 

That was a weird little conversation in Kyle's closet, with Portia asking who was better, Lisa Rinna or Lisa V.  I wasn't sure what to make of it if - was it scripted or did Portia really come up with that on her own?

[jojomano]

Lisa Rinna is certainly full of herself. Lordy!

[izabella]

Did Brandi really just break off a branch from one of the restaurant's trees?  WTF? 

[Lola16]

Won't anyone think of the chub-chubs?  Hopefully the foster home gets dresses of all sizes.  And not just 0-6.