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Erin and Chad: Fifty Shades of Pink


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2 hours ago, cereality said:

 

And damn she has REALLY detached from her family and is all about her little family now. I'm not saying I blame her for wanting to separate from that zoo, but the entire family is in Pa. now hanging out, attending the rehearsal/post rehearsal meal and it doesn't seem like Erin and Chad have arrived yet (they're not in anyone else's pics) and instead she's choosing this time to drop her gender reveal? Though maybe she wants it to drop now bc it'll be less attention on ANOTHER GIRL? 

Maybe she realizes she made a big mistake offering so much of Chad's services to the rest of the family and breaking off for a while is her way of ending their expectations of same. He needs to work for real money.

As for the girl deluge, it's clearly "The Curse of the Pink Bedroom."  They needed to use Kilz primer before they repainted it.

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I get it.  With all their siblings, there's no way they are going to attend them all.  Katie was young at the time and had nothing better to do than attend showers and parties of all her sisters.  Just like she will now, most likely, have to skip some events while she lives her life in NJ.  
How many showers do these people need.  Super greedy family. And more reason to haunt Hobby Lobby and buy the same dull fake flowers and candles for decorations. 

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So Erin flew out of town to attend a workshop instead of attending Katie's first shower and is now skipping this one? It seems like whoever planned the shower, did so knowing many of the Bates would already be close by after attending Nathan's wedding. I get not going to every family event with such a large family, but you'd think she try to attend at least one of the showers.

Funny aside: Erin and Kelly once told a story about Erin's bridal shower. I guess no one but the Bates showed up. lol

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6 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So Erin flew out of town to attend a workshop instead of attending Katie's first shower and is now skipping this one? It seems like whoever planned the shower, did so knowing many of the Bates would already be close by after attending Nathan's wedding. I get not going to every family event with such a large family, but you'd think she try to attend at least one of the showers.

Funny aside: Erin and Kelly once told a story about Erin's bridal shower. I guess no one but the Bates showed up. lol

I remember that! Didn't they say they invited something like a hundred people and only nine showed up? The exact numbers escape me, but I distinctly remember it was a dismal turnout. Maybe Erin's still bitter. It has to sting that her shower was a flop, and she got the typical craptastic Fundie wedding complete with t-shirt dress, meanwhile her sisters are having highly upgraded nuptials with sit-down meals. 

Did any of the Bates girls aside from Alyssa and Katie go to New Jersey?

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14 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So Erin flew out of town to attend a workshop instead of attending Katie's first shower and is now skipping this one? It seems like whoever planned the shower, did so knowing many of the Bates would already be close by after attending Nathan's wedding. I get not going to every family event with such a large family, but you'd think she try to attend at least one of the showers.

Funny aside: Erin and Kelly once told a story about Erin's bridal shower. I guess no one but the Bates showed up. lol

If I’m Erin and Chad, I probably feel like enough is enough. They did not do a big gender reveal so maybe they only go if Up needs them for filming. Plus I imagine Erin and Alyssa remember their weddings, which, for better or worse, were not such a production.

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7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I remember that! Didn't they say they invited something like a hundred people and only nine showed up? The exact numbers escape me, but I distinctly remember it was a dismal turnout. Maybe Erin's still bitter. It has to sting that her shower was a flop, and she got the typical craptastic Fundie wedding complete with t-shirt dress, meanwhile her sisters are having highly upgraded nuptials with sit-down meals. 

Did any of the Bates girls aside from Alyssa and Katie go to New Jersey?

Josie did, not sure about the others.

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The wedding shower - Carlin; Alyssa (though she left immediately after bc she posted a pic driving over the Delaware Memorial bridge this afternoon back down to Fla); Addie (though not Ellie/Callie  - maybe the headed back w/ Warden/Isiah/Jackson/Gil); Josie; Whit - of course she has to be seen to remain relevant and as usual no kids so she either sent them home or they were at the hotel w Zach. Seems like Carlin and Josie stuck around even after the shower bc they're touring Katie and Travis's home. Shocking that Tiff wasn't there as much as she is trying to act like Whit and be part of the family but seems like her and Law used their proximity to a major east coast international airport (Philadelphia) to take off on an international trip. IDK how much she desperately WANTS to be part of the family vs. just playing nice to be accepted; she may have felt that being in Nathan's wedding and cheerleading for that 24-7 was enough and now time for a vacation.

In her video this morning Erin said they were on their way back and had stopped at a playground in Virginia to let the kids burn off some energy - so they drove back all day today.

I mean I think it's super clear that Michaela, Erin, and Tori have decided their OWN marriage/family life comes first NOT the Bates zoo. I think they've drawn that line no matter what they will consider their own needs as a family (or couple) first - no matter what Kelly or the loud ass sisters like Carlin or Whit say about it. It is possible that it was about money - another night in a hotel if they had gone to NJ; it's also possible that Erin now thinks these wedding events are too much/too fancy - when she just had 1 local shower that no one attended + typical fundie wedding where she didn't get to do things like a sit down dinner or first dance, so she's checked out as she's like - whatever a 3 hr wedding is all anyone needs, why am I obligated to go to 50 wedding related events when I didn't even have those. But generally speaking I think she's just over her family and was happy to go to her brother's wedding - as people tend to family obligations - w/o the whole OMG we're sooooo happy; this is sooooo amazing; we love you both sooooo much BS that you see from the rest of the fam; and I think it's the same for Michaela and Tori.

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2 hours ago, cereality said:

; Whit - of course she has to be seen to remain relevant and as usual no kids so she either sent them home or they were at the hotel w Zach

Seriously, what's up with that? I don't begrudge any woman who has childcare help, but Whitney is never with those kids. Like, ever. I saw the pics from Katie's shower and Layla, Willow, Hazel, Allie, Lexi, Zoe and Maci were there, as well as Travis' niece. Wouldn't you think she'd at least take Kaci along so she could spend time with her Webster cousins? It's weird how much she seems to be regressing in terms of maturity. She's living a college girl existence while Zach has become the housewife/nanny. 

Edited by BitterApple
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8 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Seriously, what's up with that? I don't begrudge any woman who has childcare help, but Whitney is never with those kids. Like, ever. I saw the pics from Katie's shower and Layla, Willow, Hazel, Allie, Lexi, Zoe and Maci were there, as well as Travis' niece. Wouldn't you think she'd at least take Kaci along so she could spend time with her Webster cousins? It's weird how much she seems to be regressing in terms of maturity. She's living a college girl existence while Zach has become the housewife/nanny. 

I'm in the Whitney camp. I don't get burdening showers and weddings with all those little kids.

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15 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Seriously, what's up with that? I don't begrudge any woman who has childcare help, but Whitney is never with those kids. Like, ever. I saw the pics from Katie's shower and Layla, Willow, Hazel, Allie, Lexi, Zoe and Maci were there, as well as Travis' niece. Wouldn't you think she'd at least take Kaci along so she could spend time with her Webster cousins? It's weird how much she seems to be regressing in terms of maturity. She's living a college girl existence while Zach has become the housewife/nanny. 

Exactly. Maybe SHE is the one who needed Z to quit working to "invest in the kids" -- i.e. be a nanny -- so she could live HER best life. I'm not disagreeing with the person here who said showers etc. don't need to have kids. Totally fine - Katie could have had an adult only shower. But given that she didn't and Layla, Willow, and all 4 of Alyssa's girls, there's no reason she couldn't have brought her 2 girls!? But then she'd have to deal with them which is what she doesn't want. It's also the reason that when they are at the store or out to dinner or hanging out wherever, Carlin has her kid in tow and Whit never does - not even the infant - bc she doesn't want to be bothered when Zach in combination with Addie/Ellie/Callie can deal.

I mean even at Katie's party, there was a video of Alyssa getting food for all her girls and apologizing for holding up the line - bc each kid would only eat a certain thing; one had a plate of plain pasta with just a pad of butter; one had pasta with sauce on top and garlic bread; one had plain pasta with sauce on the side. This is the stuff you have to do with little kids or else they won't eat bc the sauce touched their penne and will then meltdown.

Looks like Whit ended up sending the kids home with Z - and Ellie/Callie - bc Carlin posted a video this morning of being on a flight home w/ Evan/kid, Warden, Addie, and Whit!? I have to imagine this is a BIG reason Erin doesn't run w/ Whit anymore. I feel like Whit wants to live the college girl who has no kids life and while Carlin can keep up right now w/ just 1 kid, Erin likely doesn't feel welcome to bring her 4 kids and also doesn't want to ditch them. I mean Chad is just as whipped as Z, she could easily turn him into a nanny yet she doesn't seem to want to.

As they all make their way home, damn their driving habits are still uncomfortable. Alyssa and John did the 15 hr drive home overnight. Alyssa drove the last 4 hrs and J looked AWFUL. Are they really not worried about being SOOO tired and sharing the road with huge trucks overnight - I mean it takes 1 second to nod off!? Josie and Kelton basically said the overnight drive to the wedding was awful, so this time they drove 5.5 hrs until 2 am (though why wait until 9 pm to leave NJ?), stayed in a hotel and are driving 4 hrs today - though they have money to throw at this problem. Chad and Erin (Bobby/Tori, Michaela/Brandon) may have had the right idea - leave the morning after the wedding and just do a daytime 9 hr drive.

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Yeah that drive from NJ to Florida is hideous in best of situations but night time is especially tough. Right now the snowbirds have started to come back to Florida so the roads are crowded night and day. Where was John during the shower? He should have been napping. I bet he has a full schedule at work Monday.

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To be fair to Whitney, she wasn't raised Fundy. I know she leaned very far in when she met the Bates, but I honestly think she was looking for parental love, as much as a husband. Once she reconnected with her birth parents there was a definite shift away from some of the Gothard BS.

If Whitney is the primary breadwinner, I see nothing wrong with Zach being the primary hands on parent. And if he did have Ellie and Callie with him on the ride home, the kids may have chosen to go home with him because the older two, at least, likely know these showers aren't that fun. Although if I was Whitney, I probably would have kept the baby with me.

I think the reason Erin didn't go is because she is having issues with Whitney and Carlin, and Alyssa seems to have gotten involved and chosen to side with them. And I'm guessing maybe Katie is aligning with them also. I guess it makes sense to avoid a bridal shower with strangers and feuding siblings.

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9 hours ago, ozziemom said:

So were Zac and kids somewhere in the RV? With Evan and John? No sign of Jeb or Jud either.

Maybe Gil, Jud & Jeb rode in the RV that Zach had. How did Momma B get back to TN?  

Edited by Tdoc72
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5 minutes ago, Tdoc72 said:

Maybe Gil, Jud & Jeb rode in the RV that Zach had. How did Momma B get back to TN?  

I guess we will have to wait to find out! There was speculation that Whit, KJ, Addee and the Stew crew flew home to Tennessee. 

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It's Warden, Addie, and Whit on the flight - Carlin tagged Warden + Whit's IGs; the row behind them is empty so there weren't more family members. Kelly is the only one MIA but during the shower yesterday Trace was posting from Rehobot Beach (Del.) - it's possible he went down there with Jackson etc./whoever didn't go back on the RV with Z and now they'll all drive back with Kelly.

WTH was this falling out even about - the store? Like is it that offensive is one person steps out of a business - it happens all the time. And has it now broken down into Carlin/Whit/Alyssa/Katie/possibly Josie vs. Erin/Tori/Michaela? 

It's possible that Tori is just sitting this out - she seems super settled and happy with her own family + it's possible that she and Bobby have decided to stay out of anything that could put them opposite of Kelton and Josie, given that Kelton is Bobby's BFF and also boss. But it also seems like Tori just doesn't hang with the family all that much; Carlin had posted an IG some weeks ago where Tori's oldest son was at Carlin's house and Carlin was all - do you know who I am, I'm aunt Carlin, I'm so happy you got to come over; that's the type of thing you say to a nephew you don't see often - highly doubt she says that to Whit's kids.

Michaela/Brandon may just be staying above the fray; Michaela's been babysitting Josie's kids a fair amount lately and Josie has thanked her for bringing over dinner multiple times; yet she also kept Chad/Erin's kids on a weekend; plus they are who all the siblings reach out to in an urgent situation. Though I do think Michaela/Brandon have a special relationship with Tori and Erin's kids; when M&B are around, Tori's oldest son + one of Erin's middle daughters are like their shadow - including at the wedding, there are multiple pics of them carrying around Kade and Erin's daughter. And even recently when one of Erin's daughters had a birthday - Uncle Brandon/Aunt Michaela were the only ones there to celebrate with her - which I very much think was that child's wish that they come over for cake. 

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I have no idea what's up with Michaela of Tori, regarding Erin. I do know Alyssa took a dig at Erin a while back on SM. Also Whitney, Alyssa, Carlin, Josie and Katie are quick to comment on IG posts - both Bates family and Duggar family posts. None of them ever comment on Erin's. Josie did however promote Erin's A - Z cards briefly in an IG story.

I noticed the fallout before I knew about Erin leaving the Bates Boutique. Maybe Erin's illness and leaving the boutique are more like the straws that broke the camel's back, meaning maybe there was not a strong foundation to begin with.

I think Michaela and Alyssa did a lot co-parenting and household work early on and Erin was kind of the 'dumb blonde princess'. Michaela seems to only have fond memories and love for her family, but Alyssa couldn't wait to leave. So, I guess what I'm speculating is, maybe Erin was really not close to any of her sisters to begin with.

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I definitely think something happened with the boutique. They've all been asked about it on social media, and none of them ever respond. I'll concede random Internet strangers aren't owed an explanation, but if Erin couldn't participate due to her health issues, why not say so and put the matter to rest? It's not like anyone would judge her for it. Heck, it might even help her sell some prayer cards if her followers knew she had to give up a chunk of income. 

 

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I can see where Alyssa and Michael were probably given a lot of household chores while Princess Erin was practicing piano or something musical. Each kid in a large family handles stuff like that differently but it does seem to be playing out in family relationships to this day.  Back when the girls were growing up, they were probably together based on age and while I always lumped Tori and Carlin together, now we never see them together. Michael as the oldest girl became another mom and she seems to have embraced the role of still taking care of her siblings.

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This sort of situation isn’t too uncommon in families of any size really. Some siblings click and some don’t. Personalities, life experience/lifestyles, they all play a part. The difference in bigger families is you can end up with factions and cliques.

My mom is the younger of two kids and she and her sister have never been close at all. My maternal grandmother was from a large family and the way it worked in hers, some siblings were close and some weren’t but there was enough overlap (Sister A and Sister C are distant but both are close to Sister B) that it was all cohesive. Sounds like the Bates family may have more fragmentation going on. And, yeah, their experiences growing up could play a big role in that.

Edited by AgathaC
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27 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

This sort of situation isn’t too uncommon in families of any size really. Some siblings click and some don’t. Personalities, life experience/lifestyles, they all play a part. The difference in bigger families is you can end up with factions and cliques.

My mom is the younger of two kids and she and her sister have never been close at all. My maternal grandmother was from a large family and the way it worked in hers, some siblings were close and some weren’t but there was enough overlap (Sister A and Sister C are distant but both are close to Sister B) that it was all cohesive. Sounds like the Bares family may have more fragmentation going on. And, yeah, their experiences growing up could play a big role in that.

Could be a multitude of things re: the Bateses.  Seems like with that many children there are different personalities and as time goes on people grow up and get a feel for how they like to live.  Mr lookeyloo has a twin brother.  Not identical but they were raised together, shared a room, went to the same school, shared a lot of activities growing up.  Now they are in their 60s.  They have never had a cross word and are not at odds but are not close.  Their interests are diametrically different.  Their personalities are different.  My sister in law and I wonder how they are even brothers let alone twins.  So, not surprising with this bunch.  And we know fraternal are just like regular siblings, but, these two were considered a pair right from the start.

Edited by lookeyloo
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My take on Erin was that she was always sort of Princess-y, but I never considered her obnoxious. I think she liked attention, (as evidenced by wanting an audience at her births), but wasn't loud or overbearing like Carlin. She cares about aesthetics and her appearance, but not to the point where it dominates every waking moment of her life (cough, cough, Alyssa). The health issues matured her a lot, and I can see why the Carlin/Whitney/Katie clique no longer appeals to her. I don't know if being (presumably) iced out bothers her or not, but her absence at every family event minus the one she can't skip (Nathan's wedding) is interesting. 

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16 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

My take on Erin was that she was always sort of Princess-y, but I never considered her obnoxious. I think she liked attention, (as evidenced by wanting an audience at her births), but wasn't loud or overbearing like Carlin. She cares about aesthetics and her appearance, but not to the point where it dominates every waking moment of her life (cough, cough, Alyssa). The health issues matured her a lot, and I can see why the Carlin/Whitney/Katie clique no longer appeals to her. I don't know if being (presumably) iced out bothers her or not, but her absence at every family event minus the one she can't skip (Nathan's wedding) is interesting. 

Yeah I would rather spend time with either Erin or Michael than the Carlin/Katie/Whit group too. 

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15 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

So, I guess what I'm speculating is, maybe Erin was really not close to any of her sisters to begin with.

I know Erin and Carlin were close growing up. Definitely not anymore. Tori was Erin's maid of honor, but it's hard to tell how close they are now. The only sister Erin seems to have a real relationship with these days is Michael.

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On 10/4/2021 at 5:23 PM, ozziemom said:

It is just mind boggling to me that in these Fundie families the girls are so sheltered and raised to be a wife and mother, yet so many of them can’t cook and go crazy with fast food. 

Can't they read a cookbook or an online site for recipes?  When I went out on my own years ago, my Mom gave me a copy of the Joy of Cooking which helped me learn the basics of cooking.

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Poor kids. I’m sure Carson is disappointed but, really, there’s too much age difference at this point for the baby to be much of a playmate.

I hope it’s being handled well for the girls but I fear it isn’t. My parents had five girls and growing up, there were endless comments and jokes about my parents “trying for a boy.” They weren’t. In fact, by the last two, they were practically praying for girls (since they knew what they were doing by then). My dad’s the ultimate “girl dad” and they never made us feel in any way inferior or like we were a disappointment. Quite the opposite. But, the comments and attitudes of other people still burrowed into my psyche a bit growing up.

As an adult I can process a bit more but I still cannot stomach or wrap my head around boy obsessions. And if I felt uneasy and hurt by comments from non-family when I had parents and grandparents who were nothing but supportive, loving and empowering, I hate to think how girls being brought up in a “boys are the ultimate prize” environment feel. Back in the day when there were more restrictions on females I can understand a bit, but now… Of course, the fundies are living in a retro world.

To be fair, I haven’t seen any indication Chad and Erin don’t love and value their girls. But even if it’s all sweet and loving, some messages can still do some damage.

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The boy obsession isn't just a Fundie thing. I know people who are on the polar opposite of the political and religious spectrum who have made similar comments. One of my husband's friends lamented how sad it was Kobe Bryant died without a son, because there was no one to carry on his legacy. There's tons of YouTube videos of guys storming out of gender reveals after finding out they're having another daughter. It's like we've come so far as a society in some aspects, but we're still in the Dark Ages in others.

With regards to Chad and Erin, my biggest criticism of them is putting it on Carson's shoulders to pray for a brother. He did and it didn't happen. They can explain it away as God's plan all they want, but small children internalize things differently. You can't tell me he doesn't blame himself or feel he displeased God somehow, especially since Bradley prayed and got what he wanted. 

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Oh, it’s definitely not just a fundie thing. None of the people commenting about my parents are/were. And I run into that with all sorts of people. Frustrating as anything. I’ve come across a few “I need a girl” people (usually women) but team boy far outweighs them.

Of course, a lot of these gender-wishing parents aren’t really thinking about the fact that that boy or girl they’re hoping for may not fit the gender stereotypes they have in mind. I’ve heard of more than one case of a macho dad baffled by his beloved boy’s love for art and theater.

Yes, that was a lot to put on Carson and there’s no telling how he’s processing it or how it could affect him going forward. It would have been better to not talk about the gender at all until they knew one way or the other. Just focus on “healthy.”

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It also seems like they are laser-focused on same-sex sibling bonds while completely ignoring the bonds between brothers and sisters. I'm sure Carson already has a special relationship with Brooklyn because they're close in age and have been playmates all their lives. But I suppose as they grow older, they will become more separated.

Edited by IndianPaintbrush
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Erin is posting again on Instagram and it’s mostly Bible verses. Makes me think her absences from the Boutique and some family events are due to differences in point of view. She and Chad seem more Fundie than the other siblings except for Michael and maybe Tori.

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I don’t follow Erin on Instagram but I occasionally look at her page.  Yesterday was their anniversary so I had a peek.  
It looks like she edited her bio.  The first thing is says is: “We love Jesus more than anything”

A small dig at her more worldly sisters perhaps?

I do feel that she, Tori, and Michael are more invested in their faith than the influencer sisters.  Very possible that this led to her dialing back her involvement with the boutique.

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Erin has a new video up:

https://youtu.be/M6pxqTHJKRY

She talks about struggling with fear and anxiety due to her health issues. She's also selling what she calls Promise Cards. They're cards with different Scriptures on them for people who need encouragement. They're actually kind of nice, and not a bad gift idea (provided the intended recipient is a person of faith). 

Chad speaks for a bit at the end, and wow, has that man aged. If you told me he was mid-40s, I'd believe you. I really can't understand why they didn't cut the baby train off at four.

Edited by BitterApple
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I saw the clip, but didn't watch the video. I was afraid Erin would pull a Jessa and say prayer and faith is all one needs to manage anxiety. While I 100% believe leaning into one's faith can be helpful in managing anxiety, I think a message of faith as a be all, end all, is a dangerous message.

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13 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I saw the clip, but didn't watch the video. I was afraid Erin would pull a Jessa and say prayer and faith is all one needs to manage anxiety. While I 100% believe leaning into one's faith can be helpful in managing anxiety, I think a message of faith as a be all, end all, is a dangerous message.

I wonder if she admitted that her anxiety stemmed from the fact that she didn't think she would have any more blessings. 

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11 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I wonder if she admitted that her anxiety stemmed from the fact that she didn't think she would have any more blessings. 

I wondered that too. And maybe anxious over having covid, which none of them took seriously from the get go.

Edited by GeeGolly
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4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Chad speaks for a bit at the end, and wow, has that man aged. If you told me he was mid-40s, I'd believe you. I really can't understand why they didn't cut the baby train off at four.

Maybe he thought God had done it for them and she really wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again so there was surely no need for birth control. Now he knows better.

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I have no plans to watch the video.  I don’t need to be lectured about faith by a woman who, despite having 4 healthy children, was in despair at the prospect of not having any more.  The same woman who contracted a serious virus because she did not heed any warnings but carried on as usual because “Jesus would protect her”. 
So, yeah, I’ll pass thanks.

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Wow, 9 minutes of blah, blah. She is so vague in this video...what was it or is it that she's struggling with? She repeats herself many times over...doesn't say anything really new. Chad did the same thing. Wow, so she drew flowers and put scripture passages on these cards. Not a rocket science project IMO. Chad is so 'amazed' by her talents; really? A school kid could have done the same thing. I'm sorry she was struggling with "something" but we all have times that are harder than others..she is not special because of that. These people seem shocked that life is not perfect for them every day. Erin's talented arrangements for her piano playing merely included extra chords and arpeggios in the pieces that she plays. Nothing grand. I did the same thing at 11 years old. You 'fancy-up' a simple piano sheet music to sound harder than it is. Good luck to Chad and Erin moving forward in life.

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