Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[ChiCricket]

This is so true. I recently had a month long headache (ended up being a sinus infection) and while I had it, everything was SO loud to me. Clocks ticking, my dog's toenails clicking on my hardwood floor, and EVERYTHING my husband said or did!

Poor guy,I even asked him to please STOP CHEWING HIS OATMEAL SO LOUDLY.

I can't even imagine going through that as a baby.

It's really eye opening just how much sound is out there around us at any given time, but our brain screens out for us.

This is so true. I recently had a month long headache (ended up being a sinus infection) and while I had it, everything was SO loud to me. Clocks ticking, my dog's toenails clicking on my hardwood floor, and EVERYTHING my husband said or did!

Poor guy,I even asked him to please STOP CHEWING HIS OATMEAL SO LOUDLY.

I can't even imagine going through that as a baby.

The only thing that kept me sane during this time was wearing my husband's old airport worker's headphones. That's how loud everything sounded to me..like the equivalent of a roaring jet engine.

Edited June 3, 2015 by ChiCricket

[Wellfleet]

Therapy was really exhausting. I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. It felt good, in an incredibly illogical way. What was shocking was the anger that came out. I won't go too deep into it, but: I was angry about Maisie's transfer gone wrong, angry about the loss of our son...

I haven't gone into much detail about our boy. He was around 21 weeks. When we lost him, he weighed just under a pound. We didn't do an autopsy or anything and I regret that we didn't mark his passing in a significant way. We were so focused on keeping Maisie in. I know that losing him made me appreciate my baby girl and her struggle all the more. But, it still hurts. The therapist agrees with my self assessment of PTSD, although I wouldn't dare compare myself to war heroes or othef, more horrible events. I started a medication that will hopefully help and its okay to breastfeed with it. I will see the therapist for the foreseeable future. But, I want to thank you for being my internet therapists and support. It has meant the world to me.

 

You're on your way, wander. Something tells me Maisie isn't the only fierce female in this family. I tend to think she comes by it naturally [wink]. Keep on keepin' on...

[GEML]

Wander - when I wrote my novel, I deliberately used battle and military type verbs and imagery for one birthing scene in particular because I wanted to make an important point - a lot of the time women who go through a difficult pregnancy and delivery are truly heroic, and we don't have a feminized language to express it. It's not just "nine months" it can really be a "tour of duty" with the capacity of tremendous loss and bonds that will never be broken or understood by those who did not experience it. Thus, the military imagery.

You compare yourself to whomever and however you need to. It's your experience. No one else's.

Edited June 3, 2015 by GEML

[NextIteration]

although I wouldn't dare compare myself to war heroes or othef, more horrible events. I started a medication that will hopefully help and its okay to breastfeed with it. I will see the therapist for the foreseeable future. But, I want to thank you for being my internet therapists and support. It has meant the world to me.

 

There is no comparing - there is no one way that is more "heroic" than another for acquiring PTSD, the important thing is that it gets treated, and the quicker it's treated the less likely it is to go chronic.  I'm glad that they came up with something that will help you that's okay with breastfeeding. ♥

[P2C2E]

Wanderwoman, you rock! I'm so glad that your first therapy session went well. As for the tears, as Dr. Drew used to say (back in the Loveline days), perfectly normal perfectly healthy. And yes, sometimes crying feels amazing.

The internet is full of plenty of nasty, horrible things and people. But I'm always amazed at the way in which it can bring people together from the far corners of the world. Anonymity can bring hatefulness, but it also allows us to share deeply personal experiences and feelings that otherwise might stay hidden. A caring virtual support group is a wonderful thing.

[Readalot]

Therapy was really exhausting. I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. It felt good, in an incredibly illogical way. What was shocking was the anger that came out. I won't go too deep into it, but: I was angry about Maisie's transfer gone wrong, angry about the loss of our son...

I haven't gone into much detail about our boy. He was around 21 weeks. When we lost him, he weighed just under a pound. We didn't do an autopsy or anything and I regret that we didn't mark his passing in a significant way. We were so focused on keeping Maisie in. I know that losing him made me appreciate my baby girl and her struggle all the more. But, it still hurts. The therapist agrees with my self assessment of PTSD, although I wouldn't dare compare myself to war heroes or othef, more horrible events. I started a medication that will hopefully help and its okay to breastfeed with it. I will see the therapist for the foreseeable future. But, I want to thank you for being my internet therapists and support. It has meant the world to me.

I'm grateful to hear you are on your way to quality healing! Just a bit of advice.... As I mentioned a few days ago I also had anger issues after birth that my dr. helped me with. Others might not be so receptive, I guess "new mom" and "anger" when put together are off putting to some. Don't forget besides your therapist we will continue to be here for you. As far as your son, there is no rule about when you have to plan a memorial. If you think it will help in your recovery maybe think about planning one once things are more stable? - I hope you and Maisie are having a lovely day. Edited June 3, 2015 by Readalot

[Micks Picks]

I'm chronic PTSD at this point.  It's a survival mechanism, as well as my blocking totally some things.  Like the fire, I remember it starting, I remember telling a neighbor to call 911, that's all.  Don't remember the fire dept, or the ambulance, etc.  Only that the neighbors said I was unbelievably calm.  Well, that's because "i" wasn't there.  Complete detachment.  And I am unable to cry at all, anytime for any reason.  I may have my dog declared a therapy dog.  So far he goes everywhere with me and no one has ever said anything.  They assume he must be a service dog, but he deserves to be declared as such, just in case.  So, hi, everyone, from good old tearless me.

 

[P2C2E]

I'm chronic PTSD at this point. It's a survival mechanism, as well as my blocking totally some things. Like the fire, I remember it starting, I remember telling a neighbor to call 911, that's all. Don't remember the fire dept, or the ambulance, etc. Only that the neighbors said I was unbelievably calm. Well, that's because "i" wasn't there. Complete detachment. And I am unable to cry at all, anytime for any reason. I may have my dog declared a therapy dog. So far he goes everywhere with me and no one has ever said anything. They assume he must be a service dog, but he deserves to be declared as such, just in case. So, hi, everyone, from good old tearless me.

What kind of dog do you have? I think it would be awesome to have him certified. I cannot imagine what you have gone through, but I'm sending peace your direction. I hope that you continue healing at whatever pace is best for you. We are here to support you too.

[truthtalk2014]

Dear Executive Label Designer of Pantene Products:

I'm going to need for you to reconsider your current label design immediately. The words "SHAMPOO" and "CONDITIONER" need to be as large or larger than your product name. I can't wear my reading glasses in the shower. Thank you for your immediate attention to this very important matter.

Regards, Over Fifty But Still Appreciate Clean Hair

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to Ulta - came home with what I thought was shampoo - and realized that I have to look at the bottle more closely!!!  

 

I was just there yesterday and almost walked out with a quart of Matrix conditioner- my past experiences made me think- and I found the shampoo and put the conditioner back on the shelf where it belongs!   lol  Conditioner lasts longer than shampoo so you are just screwed if you don't look closely.

 

Feel your pain!

 

I vote for different color bottles.  lol

Edited June 3, 2015 by truthtalk2014

[Fuzzysox]

I just wanted to say I like the new layout. I was worried since I've been on lots of boards and when they change the layout it is for the worse but today I was pleasantly surprised! Nice and clean and no weird ads trying to get me to sign up for homefoolingskoooling. lol

[amitville]

Therapy was really exhausting. I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. It felt good, in an incredibly illogical way. What was shocking was the anger that came out. I won't go too deep into it, but: I was angry about Maisie's transfer gone wrong, angry about the loss of our son...

I haven't gone into much detail about our boy. He was around 21 weeks. When we lost him, he weighed just under a pound. We didn't do an autopsy or anything and I regret that we didn't mark his passing in a significant way. We were so focused on keeping Maisie in. I know that losing him made me appreciate my baby girl and her struggle all the more. But, it still hurts. The therapist agrees with my self assessment of PTSD, although I wouldn't dare compare myself to war heroes or othef, more horrible events. I started a medication that will hopefully help and its okay to breastfeed with it. I will see the therapist for the foreseeable future. But, I want to thank you for being my internet therapists and support. It has meant the world to me.

I am so glad you went, and took so much from it.  Never thank us for being your internet therapists  your posts have touched so many of us and connected this board to nice happy spot  where we go to smile look at beautiful babies, birdhouses and laugh and feel welcomed..  I should thank you.  ffhugs kisses and love to you hubby and our Maisie

[amitville]

I'm chronic PTSD at this point.  It's a survival mechanism, as well as my blocking totally some things.  Like the fire, I remember it starting, I remember telling a neighbor to call 911, that's all.  Don't remember the fire dept, or the ambulance, etc.  Only that the neighbors said I was unbelievably calm.  Well, that's because "i" wasn't there.  Complete detachment.  And I am unable to cry at all, anytime for any reason.  I may have my dog declared a therapy dog.  So far he goes everywhere with me and no one has ever said anything.  They assume he must be a service dog, but he deserves to be declared as such, just in case.  So, hi, everyone, from good old tearless me.

 

Hello i just wanted to let you know you can certify dog  as a therapy dog   www.officialservicedogregistry.com/‎.   Also welcome 

Edited June 3, 2015 by amitville

[Love2dance]

Wanderwoman, so happy for you and your family that you are getting help. Hopefully the medication will be just what you need to feel like yourself again. Thank you again for sharing yours and Maisie's journey with us.

[Love2dance]

I'm chronic PTSD at this point. It's a survival mechanism, as well as my blocking totally some things. Like the fire, I remember it starting, I remember telling a neighbor to call 911, that's all. Don't remember the fire dept, or the ambulance, etc. Only that the neighbors said I was unbelievably calm. Well, that's because "i" wasn't there. Complete detachment. And I am unable to cry at all, anytime for any reason. I may have my dog declared a therapy dog. So far he goes everywhere with me and no one has ever said anything. They assume he must be a service dog, but he deserves to be declared as such, just in case. So, hi, everyone, from good old tearless me.

Micks Picks, so glad you have your pup to comfort you. Hopefully you can get him certified so you will be sure you can take him anywhere. I love this forum....we all need all the support we can get. Hugs to you.

ETA: Hurray...I finally figured out how to put a post in quotes!

Edited June 3, 2015 by Love2dance

[Wellfleet]

Wanderwoman, you rock! I'm so glad that your first therapy session went well. As for the tears, as Dr. Drew used to say (back in the Loveline days), perfectly normal perfectly healthy. And yes, sometimes crying feels amazing.

 

So true! Normal and healthy - and definitely amazing. Years ago in high school I was fascinated to learn that the chemical composition of "emotional" tears is different from the tears our eyes shed when irritated? Emotional tears actually contain more proteins than those tears that result from chopping onions, or when someone blows cigarette smoke in our faces, or for the rowdier of us, tear gas etc. Think of emotional tears as a steam valve, one way the body lets off "dangerous" emotional steam before something blows. Definitely good...

Edited June 5, 2015 by Wellfleet

[GEML]

MP - if your dog helps, do whatever you need to do to make sure he is able to keep you doing it. It's the smallest things in many of our lives that keep us from breaking apart. (Hugs)

[GeeGolly]

I'm happy that therapy is feeling positive for you Wanderwoman. PTSD is just that; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The impact of the trauma is where the diagnosis comes from, not necessarily the trauma. No one should minimize one trauma verses another. Suffering is an unfortunate equalizer. Good luck, and I hope the meds offer more relief in the coming weeks.

[Wellfleet]

I am so glad you went, and took so much from it.  Never thank us for being your internet therapists  your posts have touched so many of us and connected this board to nice happy spot  where we go to smile look at beautiful babies, birdhouses and laugh and feel welcomed..  I should thank you.  ffhugs kisses and love to you hubby and our Maisie

 

Beautifully-said, amitville. Love this... :>)

[Honeycocoa]

There is a giant yellow butterfly floating around on the purple lantana outside my windows.

Back to weird dreams about the Duggers for a sec? Last night I dreamed I was helping the Dugger girls put on their new skirts. The skirts were solid, rigid plastic. There is a brand of small dolls that little girls play with - Polly Pocket or something? all the clothes are plastic and they just snap on and off the dolls. That's what these were like(in my weird dream) The Dugger girls were all trying to put on theses solid plastic skirts but they were having problems because they needed shorter ones for sitting and longer ones for standing. and in my dream I was helping them snap in and out of various skirts. ( over regular clothes I think). It was oddly frustrating because they wouldn't make up their minds.

Wanderwoman, glad you found some counseling, Micks Pick glad you found your dog. Seashellover there are LOTS of books about raising boys out there. I know you already raised your kids, but some new books might be interesting for you. Good luck with all the homework over the summer. I think one of my favorite things about summer is no homework!

Edited June 4, 2015 by Honeycocoa

[Happyfatchick]

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to Ulta - came home with what I thought was shampoo - and realized that I have to look at the bottle more closely!!!  

 

I was just there yesterday and almost walked out with a quart of Matrix conditioner- my past experiences made me think- and I found the shampoo and put the conditioner back on the shelf where it belongs!   lol  Conditioner lasts longer than shampoo so you are just screwed if you don't look closely.

 

Feel your pain!

 

I vote for different color bottles.  lol

I was in Washington DC yesterday for a day trip, and stopped by to see my Congressman about this very subject. My suggestion is an "S" shaped bottle and a "C" shaped bottle. And I think I'm up for lobbying for it. Honestly, itsy bitsy letters... You can ONLY stretch your arms so far. Sigh. Old age sucks.

By the way, my representative agrees with me about old age... philabustering for a "C" shaped bottle, not so much.

[truthtalk2014]

I was in Washington DC yesterday for a day trip, and stopped by to see my Congressman about this very subject. My suggestion is an "S" shaped bottle and a "C" shaped bottle. And I think I'm up for lobbying for it. Honestly, itsy bitsy letters... You can ONLY stretch your arms so far. Sigh. Old age sucks.

By the way, my representative agrees with me about old age... philabustering for a "C" shaped bottle, not so much.

I wrote my congressman and he is  'totally' for the C & S shaped bottles.  

[JenCarroll]

Wanderwoman, my ds3 is 9 & has sensory issues. He wears noise cancelling headphones to bed to quiet thevworld's noise. It took awhile for us to figure out why he went to bed with his hands over his ears every night. He also seems to have supersonic hearing- he will cover his ears seconds before I will hear a police siren, for example. When he was younger I remember him lying down screaming with his hands over his ears on the burning asphalt of the grocery store parking lot, all because a police car with siren blaring drove nearby. He can handle kids playing on the playground with no problem, but put those same kids on a lunchroom & the voices must echo because he has to wear headphones there too. It's been a real learning process. At least now he's old enough to tell us he needs the noise cancelling headphones.

Oh, my DD1 had the super-hearing -- silent alarms in stores, overtones from appliances, the same thing with hearing sirens before anyone else. She's also over-sensitive to touch and specifically to pain. A couple of years with an iPod pretty much "cured" the hearing issues. Not quite our plan, but... And she manages to cope better with the touch issues now; that just developed over time (she's 20). I'd say she did/does have a sensory issue, but fairly mild as these things go. I also genuinely believe she's somewhat empathic, as she reacts to people's feelings and has a hard time tolerating crowds. I wonder if that's related.

Then DD2 is like the loudest person alive, but somehow she never grates on DD1 at all. :-)

[Wellfleet]

Therapy was really exhausting. I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. It felt good, in an incredibly illogical way. What was shocking was the anger that came out. I won't go too deep into it, but: I was angry about Maisie's transfer gone wrong, angry about the loss of our son...

I haven't gone into much detail about our boy. He was around 21 weeks. When we lost him, he weighed just under a pound. We didn't do an autopsy or anything and I regret that we didn't mark his passing in a significant way. We were so focused on keeping Maisie in. I know that losing him made me appreciate my baby girl and her struggle all the more. But, it still hurts. The therapist agrees with my self assessment of PTSD, although I wouldn't dare compare myself to war heroes or othef, more horrible events. I started a medication that will hopefully help and its okay to breastfeed with it. I will see the therapist for the foreseeable future. But, I want to thank you for being my internet therapists and support. It has meant the world to me.

 

Just an idea but have you considered planting a tree or something similar for your baby boy, wander? Something beautiful and green that can grow up with Maisie at your house? A friend of mine lost a baby at around 7 months, due to strep I think, back in the early 80s and they planted a gingko tree for him. Believe it or not, they still live in the same house and she's mentioned from time to time what a comfort it is to sit at the window and just gaze at "David's tree" and think. BTW, she lost her baby in the Fall and gingkos have the most dazzling Fall foliage. Sniff...

Edited June 5, 2015 by Wellfleet

[photo fox]

That's beautiful, Wellfleet.

[NextIteration]

Watch out for Polly Pockets even if you have a child of the age that these are recommended for!  A trip to Urgent Care to have some Polly Pocket accessory pulled out of the lass' nose was embarrassing, lol!

[Julia]

I think a tree is a terrific idea. And if you're not sure you're staying in one place, my godmother made the crabapple we gave out as wedding favors (my husband is an arborist) into a bonsai, and it's still on her patio all these years later.

[chilis]

Hello all.  I'm a long time lurker on TWOP and here.  I never posted much, because it was all said so well that I just read for fun and snark (until recently of course).  At any rate, the one thing that got me out of lurkerdom was the shampoo conundrum!  For anyone who is having a hard time differentiating the bottles, wrap a rubber band around one of them.  Then, as long as you remember which bottle you marked, you'll never condition dirty hair again.  :)

 

Wanderwoman, I have read your posts elsewhere on the forum, and seen the journey you have gone on with Maisie.  The energy you have put into her is incredible, and it's going to pay dividends.  I'm almost an OT (6 weeks away from finishing my degree), and during my schooling and clinicals I have seen so many different outcomes, and inevitably, those with better outcomes are those who, along with their families, give recovery their all.  Family involvement makes such a difference that it's actually very hard for me to see, because I know what's possible for everyone.  Not miracles in all cases, but absolutely independence and fulfillment.  Your baby girl has every opportunity to live a fantastic, autonomous life, and this time will be a part of her story, but it won't dictate her story.

[Barb23]

I have had serious health problems for the past month & wasn't able to keep up with the blog that much. I'm home now, after spending a month at a physical therapy rehab facility & feeling great. While at rehab, when the Josh story broke, the therapists asked me if I watched 19 kids & have I heard of the Duggars. I told them I was addicted to them & am on a blog about them. They broke out laughing how I responded to the Josh thing (I hadn't heard about it yet). Think I put my hand to my heart & exclaimed "Oh my God." Then I explained we all new something had happened in his past & now it's finally surfaced. They got one of the other therapists who is also into the Duggars. She said they tease her about them all the time & nice to know there are others who share in the fascination of the Duggars.

Wanderwoman- glad to hear therapy seems to be working for you. I've had our Maisie on my mind when I had my own OT & PT & as I've commented before, still find it amazing the therapy they do on the smallest babies.

[Wellfleet]

I have had serious health problems for the past month & wasn't able to keep up with the blog that much. I'm home now, after spending a month at a physical therapy rehab facility & feeling great. While at rehab, when the Josh story broke, the therapists asked me if I watched 19 kids & have I heard of the Duggars. I told them I was addicted to them & am on a blog about them. They broke out laughing how I responded to the Josh thing (I hadn't heard about it yet). Think I put my hand to my heart & exclaimed "Oh my God." Then I explained we all new something had happened in his past & now it's finally surfaced. They got one of the other therapists who is also into the Duggars. She said they tease her about them all the time & nice to know there are others who share in the fascination of the Duggars.

Wanderwoman- glad to hear therapy seems to be working for you. I've had our Maisie on my mind when I had my own OT & PT & as I've commented before, still find it amazing the therapy they do on the smallest babies.

 

Welcome back, Barb23. Your name was one of the first I got to know here - hope you feel much better and glad to see you back.

[NextIteration]

I started a long post in many threads about what happened to me and why it seemed to cause chronic PTSD for me.  I was molested by my daycare lady's father.  Her home was basically across the street from my elementary school and I spent grades 2-5 looking out the window at my predator.  Also, there was a "front" playground to my school that was way too close when he was outside and I had tremendous guilt about not feeling okay to shout out to every single friend and foe that this was dangerous!!!  I never got therapy from this incident and I was afraid to go to bathroom due to fear that a hand would come up from the toilet.  Also, I never knew when my daycare lady's children would accost me in public shouting horrible things at me because somehow at the at of seven I was accused of seducing this man.

 

Three years later I was molested by a first cousin, over and under my nightgown whilst I was asleep and then awake - he dragged me from my bunk into his bunk and I all I could muster is that my friend would miss me when we got to his bunk, at first I pretended to stay asleep because I could not comprehend that this could happen again.  I jumped up and got on the other side of my BFF in our bunk.  When I told my parents that my first cousin who is 13 years older than me did this, they chucked it off to a bad dream about the first incident, further invalidating my feelings about being sexually abused.  This cousin kept coming at me for three years, until his sister finally busted him, thank gawd.  But, my parents continued to deny that this was happening, it left a really bad mark on me not to be believed.

 

Invalidating or ignoring things that make a young child think omg, I'm in danger is terrible and leaves scars.  Permanent scars.  I didn't know where else to put this but that the survivors of Josh's abuse have been completely invalidated makes me so furious, I wish this "special hour" tonight wasn't happening, I don't care how "significant" the abuse Josh got away with on his sisters was.  It messes with our person, in a really deep way when we aren't validated.

Edited June 6, 2015 by NextIteration

[wanderwoman]

Omg! Omg!

I just have to share!

We're about a week into Maisie having her hearing aids in. Up until today, she cried and fussed, and she definitely has an "attitude", but I couldn't say she was verbally responsorial or babbly. Today, she was in her swing chillin' on the porch and a squirrel ran across the rail of the deck in front of her. She did that thing she does where she tries to work against the swing by sitting sort of erect and she laughed. Like, the sweetest, most unexpected twinkle laugh. I immediately responded because, well,...how could I NOT respond? She actually tried matching my tones and if I was silent, she talked, and then when I talked, she smiled and went quiet. We did that for about twenty minutes. Then, she got bored and decided her feet were more interesting, but it was the most amazing thing. I can't wait for DH to see this.

[P2C2E]

Wanderwoman, that's fantastic! I'm so excited for all of you! Now you can have wonderful conversations with your sweet little girl!

[Wellfleet]

Congratulations, wander! Great to find this news here after that depressing, delusional Jessa & Jill interview. Give Maisie a tickle from me so you get to hear her laugh agaiin. Love that - "twinkle laugh" So cute. Reminds me of my Mom. She had a major thing for laughing babies and if she'd experienced the Internet, would have needed a 12-step program to kick a powerful "laughing babies" YouTube addiction. :>)

[frenchtoast]

Laughing babies, what a miraculous thing to hear about. Thank you!!

[Jenniferbug]

What a sweet story, WanderWoman! You will remember that moment forever :-) I remember the first time my daughter laughed- I cried, it was such a beautiful moment and we didn't have your roadblocks to overcome!

[Absolom]

That's fantastic!  I'm thrilled it only took a week!  

[msblossom]

Wanderwoman, that's great news -- I'm so happy for your sweet little family!

Thanks for cheering us up...

[Readalot]

Yea Maisie and mom!

[NextIteration]

Oh that's so wonderful wanderwoman!  Nothing like it on the planet, is there? :)

[GeeGolly]

I had a dream last night that Josh was verbally abusing me and also trying to physically abuse me. The dream ended with me being stuck in waist high mud in a parking lot. It must be a message to stop following this story/family yet I find myself drawn to it.

 

I’ve decided to believe Jessa’s & Jill’s feelings as is, however they reached them, because we all make decisions with influences by parents and finances, and for some spiritual influences.  I am going to respect where they are at, and just wish the best for them.

[amitville]

I started a long post in many threads about what happened to me and why it seemed to cause chronic PTSD for me.  I was molested by my daycare lady's father.  Her home was basically across the street from my elementary school and I spent grades 2-5 looking out the window at my predator.  Also, there was a "front" playground to my school that was way too close when he was outside and I had tremendous guilt about not feeling okay to shout out to every single friend and foe that this was dangerous!!!  I never got therapy from this incident and I was afraid to go to bathroom due to fear that a hand would come up from the toilet.  Also, I never knew when my daycare lady's children would accost me in public shouting horrible things at me because somehow at the at of seven I was accused of seducing this man.

 

Three years later I was molested by a first cousin, over and under my nightgown whilst I was asleep and then awake - he dragged me from my bunk into his bunk and I all I could muster is that my friend would miss me when we got to his bunk, at first I pretended to stay asleep because I could not comprehend that this could happen again.  I jumped up and got on the other side of my BFF in our bunk.  When I told my parents that my first cousin who is 13 years older than me did this, they chucked it off to a bad dream about the first incident, further invalidating my feelings about being sexually abused.  This cousin kept coming at me for three years, until his sister finally busted him, thank gawd.  But, my parents continued to deny that this was happening, it left a really bad mark on me not to be believed.

 

Invalidating or ignoring things that make a young child think omg, I'm in danger is terrible and leaves scars.  Permanent scars.  I didn't know where else to put this but that the survivors of Josh's abuse have been completely invalidated makes me so furious, I wish this "special hour" tonight wasn't happening, I don't care how "significant" the abuse Josh got away with on his sisters was.  It messes with our person, in a really deep way when we aren't validated.

I have no words to express but I can send cyber ffhug to you.

Omg! Omg!

I just have to share!

We're about a week into Maisie having her hearing aids in. Up until today, she cried and fussed, and she definitely has an "attitude", but I couldn't say she was verbally responsorial or babbly. Today, she was in her swing chillin' on the porch and a squirrel ran across the rail of the deck in front of her. She did that thing she does where she tries to work against the swing by sitting sort of erect and she laughed. Like, the sweetest, most unexpected twinkle laugh. I immediately responded because, well,...how could I NOT respond? She actually tried matching my tones and if I was silent, she talked, and then when I talked, she smiled and went quiet. We did that for about twenty minutes. Then, she got bored and decided her feet were more interesting, but it was the most amazing thing. I can't wait for DH to see this.

Love this  Thank you wanderwomen you just made my day .

[JenCarroll]

Wanderwoman, thank you for sharing that moment with us! Go Maisie!

[Happyfatchick]

Oh, I just LOVE that little girl!!!!! WW do not EVER not post something about that baby girl, we just LOVE to hear it. I'm think we're all vicariously (I guess virtually!) sharing these moments with you. Isn't it just the most specialist (DUGGARISH!!!) feeling to know that we're all just either a) throwing things at our TVs or b) pounding on the bottom of a vodka bottle - and yet we all put it aside to read about our little Maisie?

Hey, you all may remember I posted about my brother falling off a ladder last week (he'll be having surgery shortly for the rotator cuff, can't lift his left arm). Well, you will never believe it, but my OTHER brother was involved in a head on collision day before yesterday!!! I've begun to tell my friends to stay a safe distance away from me... If a storm blows up and there's lightening involved, I bet they clear out like a bomb threat!

ETA: the older bro is fine too - the car...not so much

Edited June 6, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Love2dance]

Wanderwoman, there is just no better sound in the world than a baby's laugh. And she was really "conversing" with you...how fabulous. Thank you so much for sharing your happy news.

[Julia]

I'm signing on as a Maisie fan. It's amazing how being with our children can make up for all the stress and fear from, well, being with our children. I'm really glad it's working out that way for you.

[Love2dance]

Happyfatchick, your family has had a really rough few weeks. Ugh. Hope both of your brothers continue to do well. Let us know how the surgery goes. Hugs!

[ChocolateAddict]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you NextIteration, no-one should ever have to go through that.  As you said, it is so important to make kids feel like their fears are validated when it comes to their safety.  

Congratulations on Maisie! She has come so far!

[Jenniferbug]

Wish us luck! Tonight is the night we move our 2 year old to her big girl bed in her new big girl room.

Happyfatchick, your family is having a run of bad luck! I'm glad no one has been seriously injured!

[dillpickles]

Wish us luck! Tonight is the night we move our 2 year old to her big girl bed in her new big girl room.

Happyfatchick, your family is having a run of bad luck! I'm glad no one has been seriously injured!

I'm sure she'll do fine! Just be prepared for her to come sleep on your bed.

[Mrsjumbo]

Poor innocent Mr Jumbo. He knows who the Duggars are, of course, but vaguely since he doesn't watch the show. After the scandal broke he said to me, all wide- eyed "do you know the Duggars follow a guy & it's like a cult? And they actually think it's the girl's fault if a guy acts inappropriately?" I then have him a 5 min primer on the more important parts of the Duggar beliefs. He said "wow, I didn't know all that!" That made me feel 1. That I know WAY too much about this family & 2. I'm glad the other side of this family is finally getting out. Dr Drew was talking about Gothard & ATI the other night.