Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[crazycatlady58]

JenCarroll, you mean why do people leave flowers where there has been a public death? I think it is the only way to SHOW they care. I can say I am sorry, I will pray for you but you cannot see that. It does seem somewhat recent, I do not remember people doing that when I was a child or even a young adult. I do not know why it is a thing and did not used to be. In fact as I write this it seems to have started after Princess Diane died.

[Satchels of gold]

JenCarroll, you mean why do people leave flowers where there has been a public death? I think it is the only way to SHOW they care. I can say I am sorry, I will pray for you but you cannot see that. It does seem somewhat recent, I do not remember people doing that when I was a child or even a young adult. I do not know why it is a thing and did not used to be. In fact as I write this it seems to have started after Princess Diane died.

It happened when John Lenon died so it's been a thing for awhile. Edited November 14, 2015 by nc socialworker

[crazycatlady58]

Yes now that you said that I do remember people bringing flowers after he died. I had forgotten.

[kokapetl]

True, for all I care it could have been Santa Claus shooting at me. I worked for KBR at Camp Anaconda near Balad and the Airfield in Mosul as a Safety Advisor.

Yikes. Sounds like a sysphean task.

Edited November 14, 2015 by Kokapetl

[BrianJ62]

Yikes. Sounds like a sysphean task.

Definetly, I only stayed 21 days, got another overseas job making more money and not being shot at.

Edited November 14, 2015 by BrianJ62

[Satchels of gold]

Yes now that you said that I do remember people bringing flowers after he died. I had forgotten.

I've been wracking my brain to think of an earlier event but Lenon is the first I remember. Then after that (1982 or 83) the Vietnam Nam memorial. I personally like it. It's a physical manifestation of feelings of grief plus I think taking the action of buying and placing of an object is probably therapeutic .

[JenCarroll]

JenCarroll, you mean why do people leave flowers where there has been a public death? I think it is the only way to SHOW they care. I can say I am sorry, I will pray for you but you cannot see that. It does seem somewhat recent, I do not remember people doing that when I was a child or even a young adult. I do not know why it is a thing and did not used to be. In fact as I write this it seems to have started after Princess Diane died.

No, I know that, but I wonder what makes them risk trying to get past the army and/or police barriers to do it. I live in the NY area, I mean I do have some understanding of the kind of shock they're going through. There just was a picture of this girl with a little bouquet, and the gendarme blocking her way, and it struck me. That's all.

[Satchels of gold]

No, I know that, but I wonder what makes them risk trying to get past the army and/or police barriers to do it. I live in the NY area, I mean I do have some understanding of the kind of shock they're going through. There just was a picture of this girl with a little bouquet, and the gendarme blocking her way, and it struck me. That's all.

You know I bet there is a huge psychological need to do that. Shared tragedy and shared mourning. Also a component of trying to maintain control in a world that is spinning of its axis? Just thinking out loud here. I could just imagine feeling like you HAD to do something .

[pinkie]

Sadly someone I knew from when he was young, was killed in the horrific attacks in Paris yesterday.

He was a close friend of my daughter. I don't have the words to express my sorrow and horror about it all.

[Satchels of gold]

Sadly someone I knew from when he was young, was killed in the horrific attacks in Paris yesterday.

He was a close friend of my daughter. I don't have the words to express my sorrow and horror about it all.

Oh no. Was he American?

[Missy Vixen]

Pinkie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

Interestingly enough, I saw a picture a few minutes ago of U2 placing flowers outside of the Bataclan.

 

One of our friends lived in Paris for quite some time and is back there any time she can find a cheap flight. We were relieved to know she was in the US yesterday.

[crazycatlady58]

Pinkie I am sorry for you and your daughters loss.

[zoomama]

Definetly, I only stayed 21 days, got another overseas job making more money and not being shot at.

brian, i read this without finding the original comment you wrote as i have not been on here since the paris incident started to be known. your comment brought to mind the years my son lived on base in afghanistan employed as a civilian assisting the military. his first phone call home to me, a mortar 'attack' (not sure of terminology) happened during the call. all i heard was screams and the phone went dead. scared me to death, i can tell ya. he stayed there for three years and frankly, it has colored his outlook on life tremendously and not in a good way. 

 

as for this terror attack yesterday, it leaves me so broken feeling, so helpless. all thats left is prayer.

 

and pinkie, i am sorry for the loss of your friend.

Edited November 15, 2015 by zoomama

[BrianJ62]

brian, i read this without finding the original comment you wrote as i have not been on here since the paris incident started to be known. your comment brought to mind the years my son lived on base in afghanistan employed as a civilian assisting the military. his first phone call home to me, a mortar 'attack' (not sure of terminology) happened during the call. all i heard was screams and the phone went dead. scared me to death, i can tell ya. he stayed there for three years and frankly, it has colored his outlook on life tremendously and not in a good way.

as for this terror attack yesterday, it leaves me so broken feeling, so helpless. all thats left is prayer.

and pinkie, i am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I worked for KBR in Iraq, late 03 - early 04. Our camp was 100m from the fence. One day I delayed checking an outdoor storage area I instead I checked out something on the internet, glad I did a mortar round hit the area I was going to check out. The internet saved my life.

[neural-plasticity]

I wanted to add a comment about pet names/kid names that's going on in the Benessa thread but didn't want to go too off topic so I'm taking it here:

I've named all my pets after famous athletes that I like. My first dog I ever had was named after Olympic gymnast Lilia Pokepiava. Her full name is Liliana Pokepiava Marie. My next dog's full name is Daisy Meb Kebflezghi Payton. When my husband and I got our cat we thought she originally was a boy, so her full name originally was Bodhi Lebron (this was the only stipulation my husband had for keeping her), but now it's Bodhi Vonn, after the Olympic skiier and temporary lover (ha) of Tiger Woods, Lindsay Vonn.

As for kids names, I know a lot of people mentioned yelling their kid's name out loud to make sure it sounded okay, or putting it with words like "President," etc. My husband and I were both collegiate runners and although we don't have any kids and aren't planning to soon, I still like to think about names I like. I make the decision by imagining what the name would sound like if I were running around a cross country course cheering for them. Based off of that, I decided that anything ended with "ton/ten" (Payton, Clayton, etc.) will not work because they're awkward names to yell (in my opinion).

[GeeGolly]

Our last dog was Gretyl Avonlea. (Yes, we used a Y). And my dog prior to that was ... Quincy RF. Goodness it's a small world.

[momofsquid]

Continuing with the pet name discussion... All our dogs have had middle names starting with A. We used to have name tags made for the dogs with the dog's name followed by Hubby's first initial, which is A, and our last name. So the tags read Dogname/A. Lastname. We thought it looked as though the dogs had the middle initial A, so we gave them middle names: Aloysius, Agnes, Apple, Albert and Archibald. Only Aloysius and Apple actually had the tags but we continue with the A tradition.

[NewDigs]

Middle names for pets??

We were barely able to come up with Max.

[Satchels of gold]

Middle names for pets??

We were barely able to come up with Max.

I don't want to brag my cat is a scientist. Dr. maxwell Purr PhD (pretty handsome dude). Don't judge me! I know I'm a dork.

Oh almost forgot to mention my former cat named Sammy the Bull. We named him that because he was a little guy with a big attitude and he would dismember little animals and bring them in through the cat door. Please don't tell the really Sammy that as I am a dork and also a coward.

Edited November 15, 2015 by nc socialworker

[IOU Payne]

I also have a cat named Max.  I didn't name him, and he's not the brightest star in the firmament so I decided not to change his name when I adopted him.  Max has no middle name, but Iggy's middle name is "Eileen" because he leans up against me when it's snuggle time.

[leighroda]

I feel like I have neglected my cats, they don't have middle names... I have Josie (NOT named after Josie Duggar, my cat is older than her...and I probably wouldn't have used the name if she had been born, it's actually after "Josie and the pussycats"), and Stella, because I thought it was (actually I still think) funny to yell "STELLAAA" like streetcar named desire... And her shelter name was clover, it just didn't match.

I live with my sister and she has 2 dogs Rosie, and Penny... Rosie is a toy fox terrier and her main goal in life is for us to treat her like a human and include her in any/all decisions. Penny is a year old chihuahua dachshund mix who has worked hard to earn and keep the nickname "captain naughtypants" one of her favorite pastimes it standing on her hind legs to reach the counter, and removing items from the trash can... Our trash has a lid but she knows how to nudge it with her nose to swing it open and get her nose in, we are on the market for a new trash can.

[GeeGolly]

Right now we have a granddog living with us. Her name is Zoe. I often call her Dee-O-Gee. She is a sweet dog, but her potty alerts are very subtle, so she is prone to accidents. If anyone has any potty tips, they would be very welcome.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Th only pet we had with a middle name was a dog which came from the shelter with the name "Sadie" We kept the name, but somehow it got amended to Sadie Belle somewhere down the line.

 

One of my favorite names came from a kitten (offspring of the aforementioned "David-Anne" in the other thread).The cats belonged to a priest who lived across the street from us, and would sometimes wander over to our yard. My younger son, who was two at the time, took to calling the kitten "Farfel kitty". We had no idea where he came up with Farfel, but it stuck. It was my daughter who finally worked out that he was saying it was Father Phil's kitty. We liked it so much that we used it again for a cat which moved in with us at a subsequent house

Edited November 15, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[3 is enough]

Hi everyone.  I don't come in here very often, but I was just wondering, does anyone know what happened to GEML?  It seems she just disappeared.  

 

I apologize if this has been addressed already.  Honestly do not have the time to read posts since August.

 

Thanks!

[XinaMarie]

Our dog is Asta. He is a wire fox terrier just like the dog in The Thin Man movies. We call him Masta Asta, Asta the disastah, Pain in the Asta, etc. He is outside barking right now, so he deserves the nicknames.

 

Our neighbor three doors down hung himself in the garage and was discovered by his young son just two hours ago. We have cops crawling everywhere and there is yellow tape and the whole thing. The house has had cops in front of it on occasion over the years for domestic violence calls.There is tragedy everywhere and you don't have to look overseas to find it. 

[frenchtoast]

Hi everyone.  I don't come in here very often, but I was just wondering, does anyone know what happened to GEML?  It seems she just disappeared.  

 

I apologize if this has been addressed already.  Honestly do not have the time to read posts since August.

 

Thanks!

Posters come and posters go. GEML hasn't been around in a few months. I won't torture you with singing, but now I've got The Circle of Life stuck in my head.

[kokapetl]

GEML Doesn't Live Here Anymore.

[leighroda]

Right now we have a granddog living with us. Her name is Zoe. I often call her Dee-O-Gee. She is a sweet dog, but her potty alerts are very subtle, so she is prone to accidents. If anyone has any potty tips, they would be very welcome.

It took me a second to get Dee-oh-gee. We are struggling with potty training penny, we usually have pee pads so that if they do have to go between walks it's in a designated area, but we ran into an issue that since penny is long she would go to pee on the pad, but her back end wouldn't be on the pad, so we put 2 pads together, but she still managed to miss because she stands on the shorter side. When we first started with the pads we found a spray you could put on the pad to Indicate to the dog they could pee there, it didn't work for our dogs, but maybe it'll help yours.

My mom passed away in February, we actually inherited her dogs, and we had a really tough time with housebreaking, they originally were, but our mom had been sick for several months before anyone knew, and had stopped taking the dogs for walks several months before she passed, so they had gotten used to going in the house wherever. We basically had to go back to square one and do the hourly walks again to train them that we would take them out... It's still touch and go, but it's gotten better.

[kokapetl]

Right now we have a granddog living with us. Her name is Zoe. I often call her Dee-O-Gee. She is a sweet dog, but her potty alerts are very subtle, so she is prone to accidents. If anyone has any potty tips, they would be very welcome.

Take the dog outside after meals and don't let her in until she pees, give her treats/praise when she does, take her outside regularly and "command" her to pee and shower her with praise/treats when she does. Dogs are very eager to please. Edited November 15, 2015 by Kokapetl

[GeeGolly]

Take the dog outside after meals and don't let her in until she pees, give her treats/praise when she does, take her outside regularly and "command" her to pee and shower her with praise/treats when she does. Dogs are very eager to please.

That's what we have been doing, and for the most part it works. But sometimes she will go in the middle of the night, with no attempt to wake any of us up. Occasionally I'll wake up at 4am and there she is - sitting and staring at me.  Or my son will be up in the morning, take her out to pee, and before anyone realizes it, she's pooped 5 minutes later in the house.

[kokapetl]

Does she pee anywhere specific? Is she amenable to having her bed placed close to the dog door? Is it really cold outside?

[GeeGolly]

Does she pee anywhere specific? Is she amenable to having her bed placed close to the dog door? Is it really cold outside?

In the house she pees near a door she is never brought out of. Outside she pees in the backyard. She sleeps with either my son or me & my husband. We're in New England, the weather has been kind of mild.

[Muffyn]

The pet naming discussions brings to mind a conversation I had at the v et when I took in one of my former foster dogs (now my aunt's dog - yes, I did twist her arm).

 

Vet Assistant:  "What's the dog's last name?"

Me:  "Dog"

VA:  "Dog?"

Me:  "Yes, Dog.  His middle name is 'The'.  So his full name is Casper The Dog."  

 

Although I tend to call him Tiny Dog or TD.   

[kokapetl]

In the house she pees near a door she is never brought out of. Outside she pees in the backyard. She sleeps with either my son or me & my husband. We're in New England, the weather has been kind of mild.

I'd cover the floor around that door with pee pads, or better yet, if she's not large enough and/or able to jump over barriers, set up some barriers to stop her accessing that area. My late dog didn't like to do either of her business on wet cold grass, she'd oblige and go on the grass when "commanded" for treats, or even if she thought anyone was watching, but most of the time of it was wet, she'd just go on the paved undercover patio if we weren't around. Is the area outside the dog door sheltered and paved?

The climate where I live is Mediterranean, like a wetter but warmer San Francisco. So not quite the same as New England with its winter wonderland.

Is the dog old?

Edited November 15, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Almost 3000]

I also have a cat named Max.  I didn't name him, and he's not the brightest star in the firmament so I decided not to change his name when I adopted him.  Max has no middle name, but Iggy's middle name is "Eileen" because he leans up against me when it's snuggle time.

Eileen, that's so cute. My dog is Tucker because I can tuck him under my arm.

[lookeyloo]

In the house she pees near a door she is never brought out of. Outside she pees in the backyard. She sleeps with either my son or me & my husband. We're in New England, the weather has been kind of mild.

Have you considered a crate? We had one for our dog and he never peed where he slept. My son and family just got a puppy and he loves his crate and potty training has gone very well. Same thing as was mentioned. Take doggie out. Say what works for your family. We used to say "do it" to our dog and as soon as he did we showered him with praise, gave him a treat and took him inside. Son's family says "do your business" and other son says "go peepee" to his dogs. Son's family with new puppy have been "tethering" the doggie when they can't keep their eye on him. Leash on and end hooked on bannister with a bed available. Also they learned just by keeping the leash on him calms him. Also,assists with the potty. Hope you can figure out what works!

[Jordan Baker]

Our family has had three dogs. They all acquired middle names. One of the dogs was eventually given a middle name of "The Tongue." They were also called by many other nicknames.

 

I'd never been a dog person but my DD, who was an only at the time, and my DH prevailed upon me to get a dog. I wasn't thrilled, but that little dog worked on me. And she won. When she died at 14, I had to have another dog. (Enter "The Tongue.") And when he died, in spite of protestations by DH, we got our current sweetie. She's a mix of what are supposed to be two of the smarter dog breeds, but we haven't seen too much evidence of that. She is, however, the sweetest and funniest dog in the world. And possibly the prettiest.

 

Yes, I'm now a dog person.

[NikSac]

Sadly someone I knew from when he was young, was killed in the horrific attacks in Paris yesterday.

He was a close friend of my daughter. I don't have the words to express my sorrow and horror about it all.

 

Oh I'm so sorry Pinkie. (((hugs))) to you

[Satchels of gold]

Our family has had three dogs. They all acquired middle names. One of the dogs was eventually given a middle name of "The Tongue." They were also called by many other nicknames.

I'd never been a dog person but my DD, who was an only at the time, and my DH prevailed upon me to get a dog. I wasn't thrilled, but that little dog worked on me. And she won. When she died at 14, I had to have another dog. (Enter "The Tongue.") And when he died, in spite of protestations by DH, we got our current sweetie. She's a mix of what are supposed to be two of the smarter dog breeds, but we haven't seen too much evidence of that. She is, however, the sweetest and funniest dog in the world. And possibly the prettiest.

Yes, I'm now a dog person.

That is how we recruit , one dog at a time.

Sincerely

The Dog People

Edited November 16, 2015 by nc socialworker

[MargeGunderson]

My oldest cat Emma Frances got her middle name by accident - I yelled at her one day and and "Frances" just came out. My second cat Lilian Rose therefore had to have a middle name as well.

Of course both are usually called by other names, Mrs Fluffy Pants and Booberry respectively.

Edited November 15, 2015 by MargeGunderson

[JenCarroll]

I don't want to brag my cat is a scientist. Dr. maxwell Purr PhD (pretty handsome dude). Don't judge me! I know I'm a dork.

Well, I don't want to brag either, but my dogs have secret identities. Their superhero names are Barf Boy and Destructo Dog, and I'm sorry, but that's all I'm at liberty to share. You understand, I'm sure -- it can be dangerous for friends and family when the secret identity is revealed.

WHAT? You've never met a comic books geek before?

:-)

[BrianJ62]

Well, I don't want to brag either, but my dogs have secret identities. Their superhero names are Barf Boy and Destructo Dog, and I'm sorry, but that's all I'm at liberty to share. You understand, I'm sure -- it can be dangerous for friends and family when the secret identity is revealed.

WHAT? You've never met a comic books geek before?

:-)

NC socialworker: Let your Dork flag fly high. Edited November 16, 2015 by BrianJ62

[pinkie]

Thank-you so much everyone for your kind words about the death of my daughters' friend Nick in the Paris tragedy. It meant a lot to read them. He was a really lovely person and will be missed by so many people...

[Vaysh]

Right now we have a granddog living with us. Her name is Zoe. I often call her Dee-O-Gee. She is a sweet dog, but her potty alerts are very subtle, so she is prone to accidents. If anyone has any potty tips, they would be very welcome.

I've only "potty-trained" puppies but then it was basically, walk them every hour or whenever they looked like they wanted to go out. And if they had an accident we put on the leash and out we go immediately so that they would connect peeing with the outdoors. We put newspapers down by the door for the first few weeks, but they all caught on pretty fast and there was never much of a problem.

 

But once the dog understands, it's really important to keep a regular schedule. All the dogs I've known will walk around cross-legged rather than pee indoors, as long as they know that they will be walked at a certain time. If walkies is always at 8, noon and 4, they will hold it in even if they feel the need to pee at 3. They're not all that different from people that way.

[SomePity1066]

Take the dog outside after meals and don't let her in until she pees, give her treats/praise when she does, take her outside regularly and "command" her to pee and shower her with praise/treats when she does. Dogs are very eager to please.

This was almost exactly what I was going to say, Kokopetl  ! I've had success with five dogs using these exact methods, including my sweet little girl Emma (yes, another Emma !) who had lived in a puppy mill cage for the first four years of her life and had never been outside until rescued, so she'd spent her entire life just going through the wire mesh she lived on 24/7. Special place in Hell for people who "raise" poor doggies like that...

 

Anyhoo, the most important part, I think, is effusive praise and taking them out consistently and frequently. I carry a handful of plain kibble in my pocket as a "treat" (because too many "real" treats can cause unnecessary weight gain) to reward each step of a successful trip outside, and then give a Milkbone or Pupperoni when we get back inside. All of this is accompanied by loud and frequent "Who's a good boy ? Who's a GOOD BOY ?!?!" while we celebrate.

 

Yes, nc socialworker, we are The Dog People. Unapologetically, gleefully so  :)

[GeeGolly]

Well, I don't want to brag either, but my dogs have secret identities. Their superhero names are Barf Boy and Destructo Dog, and I'm sorry, but that's all I'm at liberty to share. You understand, I'm sure -- it can be dangerous for friends and family when the secret identity is revealed.

WHAT? You've never met a comic books geek before?

:-)

Your dogs must be my newish neighbors who never turn the lights on. Mystery solved.

 

Thanks all for the doggy potty tips. We will try the scheduled walking times, as we already do most of what was said.

[Vaysh]

Be careful with the treat thing though. My neighbour has a Grand Danois and when she was a puppy he gave her treats every time she pooped outdoors and now she just simply refuses to move after pooping unless given a treat. Occasionally he forgets the treats or runs out which leads to a massive tug-o-war between this now somewhat elderly gentleman and his great big honkin' calf of a dog. It is a great source of entertainment for random passersby (and me tbh, though I've run out with rescue treats a few times), but probably not so much fun for my neighbour.

[GeeGolly]

Be careful with the treat thing though. My neighbour has a Grand Danois and when she was a puppy he gave her treats every time she pooped outdoors and now she just simply refuses to move after pooping unless given a treat. Occasionally he forgets the treats or runs out which leads to a massive tug-o-war between this now somewhat elderly gentleman and his great big honkin' calf of a dog. It is a great source of entertainment for random passersby (and me tbh, though I've run out with rescue treats a few times), but probably not so much fun for my neighbour.

Fortunately Zoe is a Chihuahua mix. She looks like a Chihuahua with long legs. I can just scoop her up. :)

[CherryMalotte]

We aren't very imaginative with the cat names we've had, no middle names at all.  First was Mama Cat out at the house in the country when I was little, then her son Tiger who came with us when we moved to town.  Then Buster, who my mother totally told me was a boy, but ended up being a girl.  Joplin was a rescued kitten from some trashy neighbors, then a cat out at my grandparents had kittens, mom kept Spike, and his brothers Watts and Wyman ended up with my then boyfriend now husband and his brother.  Watts and Wyman got diluted into Guy and Omie (for Tony Iommi), and when the husband and I moved in with each other we aquired Tang, who became Queen.  Then Squirrel, then another knocked up cat decended on our house and we found homes for the others except for Runt, who became Ringo.  Tarzan Charlie has been with us now five years, and we have an Oliver now.  Sometimes I call him Olivier after the actor but he just looks at me with a confused expression, so back to Ollie it is.  The next one will be Stan, to match Ollie.  But not too soon, I'm happy with just three.

 

I am really sorry for your loss Pinkie.  There were a lot of young people killed in the attacks...and for what?  For nothing.

[GeeGolly]

My cats were Fumee, Harrison & Penelope, all from childhood. Can't have cats now - hubby and kids are all allergic. :(  Dogs from childhood were Lucky, Stanley & Hector.