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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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I only went shopping on Black Friday once and that was many years ago. Is it still as bad? I want to take my son shopping before he returns to college but not if it is still crazy. I was hoping that more people were shopping for online deals instead. That is what I usually do. 

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I live one block from a major east-west suburban thoroughfare.  There are major big box retailers and warehouse clubs nearby.  I never venture out on Black Friday. I may walk to Starbucks, but generally stay put.

On my way home from thanksgiving dinner, I laugh at everyone lined up outside the different stores.

Hope all of my 'prayer closet ' buddies have a wonderful holiday, no matter where  how or with whom they are celebrating☺

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After being in my MIL's company today, I'm sure to have a hangover tomorrow. ?

Seriously, I never go out over Thanksgiving weekend. I decorate for Christmas and watch lots of sports. 

Oh yeah, Starbucks. Forgot that. I'm probably as bad as Mechelle.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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1 hour ago, Westiepeach said:

I go to my office and decorate it for Christmas. That is as far as I venture out. 

I spent a significant part of the work day yesterday staging my Christmas decorations so I can do just that tomorrow.  

Today, though, I’m eating granola and watching Star Trek because my husband is sick ... and I’m very thankful for cold medicine. 

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6 hours ago, jennblevins said:

 

Today, though, I’m eating granola and watching Star Trek because my husband is sick ... and I’m very thankful for cold medicine. 

cold medicine is gonna be my friend tonight too!

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Get well soon, everyone! 

I hope everyone had a nice day without too much stress, whether it be putting on the spread, unruly family members, or both. The MIL only had two small meltdowns, but neither were in public, so I consider the day a win. 

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Going to sleep in and cook a small turkey at leisure tomorrow.  Declined watching stepdaughter's kids. Going to lay around and read. 

Dinner with my side was great fun. Dessert with DH's side was an exercise in crazymaking. It has been twenty-two years and I am still uncertain if MIL is more mentally ill or a colossal bitch.  Likely a combo of the two.  Boundaries have been reinforced. 

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I went to Black Friday once with the daughter in law. That was enough.  Now granddaughter is old enough and they are going early tomorrow. We flew in today and are having turkey dinner tomorrow.  I make the turkey and mashed potatoes (someone other than me peels them) and daughter in law does the rest. She has baked 9 desserts. Yum. 

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2 hours ago, Catfin said:

Going to sleep in and cook a small turkey at leisure tomorrow.  Declined watching stepdaughter's kids. Going to lay around and read. 

Dinner with my side was great fun. Dessert with DH's side was an exercise in crazymaking. It has been twenty-two years and I am still uncertain if MIL is more mentally ill or a colossal bitch.  Likely a combo of the two.  Boundaries have been reinforced. 

Oh @Catfin I am with you on the MIL issues. I don't know what woman I'm going to get when she calls me on an almost daily schedule. At work. She can't delete a CID notification, or pretends not to know, no matter how many times I have shown her and made her do it on her own. She cried because she's so "stupid." She knows how to do it, but she wants attention.

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Funny story -  earlier in the week my son's boss bought new TVs  at Sam's club for the office to do presentations on.  The sales guy told him it was lucky he got them then.  They were jacking them up $20 for Black Friday.

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Question time everyone! Does anyone work at home? Right now trying to find an office job will be next to impossible because of my vision issues, not being able to sit or stand for long periods of time, and not being able to lift due to back, neck and shoulder problems. I have applied for disability *joy* *joy* If I could work at home, I would do it in a heartbeat, but the main problem is distractions aka husband and cat.

Edited by bigskygirl
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2 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Question time everyone! Does anyone work at home? Right now trying to find an office job will be next to impossible because of my vision issues, not being able to sit or stand for long periods of time, and not being able to lift due to back, neck and shoulder problems. I have applied for disability *joy* *joy* If I could work at home, I would do it in a heartbeat, but the main problem is distractions aka husband and cat.

I office from home two days a week.  The dog and cat come in and pester for treats, and I do shut my door after 2:30 when DS gets off the school bus. (He's 14, we visit a bit, but I need to work-work).   

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8 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

My office has been decorated! Looks awesome! I love the lights!

Yay!  Mine, too ... sort of. I moved offices this year, and a lot of my decorations apparently don’t work with my new office, which is about as far away in layout as possible from the old one, given that they’re both cubicles of the same size. Until I get an extension cord, any lights I hung up would be under the desk and casting enchanting sparkling beams on my feet and the spare pairs of shoes.  So no lights yet, but I did my best to make it look like a ribbon factory exploded nearby. 

At my old office, I would occasionally arrive in the morning to find that someone had made merry with the decorations overnight; the snowflakes would spell out some inappropriate phrase like “WTF” and the gingerbread men would be caught in compromising positions. While I appreciated the effort and ingenuity that went into it, I was always a little worried that the CEO would decide to take a early morning stroll around the office before I could fix things up. 

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So here's a little story about why I hate to deal with people who tell me how "Christian" they are.  We have this store in my town that sells religious stuff:  crosses and cards and Kirk Cameron movies (should have been the tip-off, right?).  I had been wanting to get some religious stickers to use on my students' papers (I work in a Catholic school). so I decided to kill two birds with one stone, as I was going around town hanging posters for my school's annual holiday fair and our upcoming breakfast with Santa.  

When I got to the checkout with my selections, I asked the owners if they would let me put my two posters on their bulletin board.  They told me no because they try to live by Biblical principles, and my posters were not appropriate for a Christian business.  I objected and said that it was for a Catholic school, and they shook their heads pityingly and said that obviously I didn't know that there's no Santa in the Bible.  I said of course I knew that, so then they tried to explain to me that their business is Christian and they can't support anything that isn't Christian.  I told them they could have just said No thanks when I asked about the posters, and they assured me that they wanted me to understand why they were saying no, even though it was clear to them that I didn't get it.  They were just trying to be helpful; they didn't want to offend me.  I said, "Well, you did.  I feel very patronized and I resent you making assumptions on what I do or don't know.  Oh, and I will never patronize this business again and will recommend that my friends also boycott it because you aren't demonstrating Christian kindness."  They just gave me long-suffering looks as I left.  BTW I didn't raise my voice or act ugly, but they seemed so Duggarish in that they thought that if they just kept saying the same thing over and over (there's no Santa in the Bible) that I would understand their objections.  So they got to feel morally superior to poor evil heathen Catholic me, and I left wondering why so many devout "Christians" are so intolerant of everyone around them.

I had a nice Thanksgiving, but it is always a little weird now because my husband dumped me two years ago at this time and his family dumped me, too.  We are not legally separated and he moved to an apartment six blocks from me.  This week will be our 31st wedding anniversary, and it's extremely odd to be married but single at the same time.  I was ushering a play at the end of the summer, and my MIL was talking to someone in the orchestra pit when I said hello to her, and she introduced me saying, "This is...mag" like I didn't rate an entire name and she was not going to claim me as her DIL.  

I am very grateful for all of you and the struggles we share and face together.  As soon as I get home at night, I jump online and look to see what everyone has been up to since my last login!

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If you look on the Hobby Lobby website, Santa, Frosty and all the Christmas characters abound. I guess their Christian values take a back seat when in comes to making money.

The whole premise of evil Catholics and Santa is ridiculous. My boys had their pictures taken with Santa, and breakfast with Santa every year. Same with the grand kids. Trust me, it has not turned them into heathens. We always emphasized the true meaning of Christmas, and Santa still arrives at the end of Mass on Christmas morning. He comes on a red fire engine walks into church and hands out candy canes to the children. 

I have also had people make fun of me when I say I pray to the saints. What I try to tell them is that I pray to them so that they can intercede with Jesus for me. They're like a go between. Yes, I pray to God, but it helps sometimes to have a little more ammunition. So now I don't engage with these people. Frankly, I don't give a damn. They can keep their small minded attitudes and I'll keep my devotion to St. Anthony and St. Jude. 

On a personal note @magpye29, my son was divorced 5 years ago. He has custody of the children and I now live with them. In 5 years my grandchildren have not heard one word from their aunts, uncles, cousins or their other grandmother. They barely hear from their own mother. It's hard for them on special occasions, even now that they are in college. It only reinforces the idea that they think they were the cause of the divorce which was not true at all. So, yeah, that's how it goes. There are many like us.

So, have a Blessed Christmas, We will be celebrating the birth of Jesus, but Santa, Frosty,and Rudolph,will  have a place in the Christmas festivities too.

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Aw, Mag. Full frontal hugs.  

I was raised Catholic, twelve years of Catholic schooling, left after divorcing due to hypocrisy.  Old habits die hard, and I went to a Christian bookstore for a St Joseph statue to bury hoping to hasten sale of my parents' property. In no way do I believe this to have any merit. Anyway, the proprietor of this store dismissed me  as though I'd pooped on his floor by asking for the item.  

 

Take control of your marital situation. Three years in limbo is ridiculous. Dictate your future vs. letting it happen to you. ❤️

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1 hour ago, bythelake said:

So, have a Blessed Christmas, We will be celebrating the birth of Jesus, but Santa, Frosty,and Rudolph,will  have a place in the Christmas festivities too.

Yes, wishing everyone a blessed Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Holiday Season.

And, The Grinch will be slithering under our tree as well. Reindeer and snow/icicles are my very favorite decorations.

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well, we went to my deceased nephews house for Thanksgiving and it was weird.  No other family showed up but us.  Everyone was too distraught to go to Nephew's house without Nephew there and backed out.  They didn't think they could handle it.  So, Nephew's kids did not see their grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. 

I do understand that his suicide death is extremely painful and overwhelming but Nephew's kids got abandoned. I'm very glad that my husband & all my kids were there to be supportive. And no, no one invited Nephew's kids and wife to their home. 

So, it was a really weird Thanksgiving for everyone. We made the best of things and what else can I say? 

 

We don't do Santa or anything of the sort. I guess because I was raised IFB, it feels odd.  My kids think Santa is a game people play with their kids and that's about it.  I don't care what other people do with Santa.  Really, I have other things to worry about in life than a guy in a costume!  I'm sure at the end of our lives, no one will be worrying about who celebrated with Santa or who didn't.  People really get lost in minor details and miss the big stuff (looking at you, Derick!)

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Well, Thanksgiving went pretty well with my elderly parents, considering that my brother and I told them they had to move to assisted living and we have put a deposit down at a very nice facility.  My mom, in her advancing dementia, is trying hard to convince us that they are "just fine", and my dad is getting more feeble by the day. At the moment, my brother has him in the ER with dizziness and shortness of breath.  His wounds from his falls last week are not looking very good, and I'm hoping he does not have sepsis.  I should hear any minute now if he is being admitted.  One of the good things about this particular assisted living place is that they have dedicated memory care available.  Mom will be ready for that soon, especially if (when) something happens to my dad.  So, I guess my feeling was right.  This was probably the last Thanksgiving I'll have with my parents.  I am so thankful for my brother.  He lives about a mile from my parents and is there when I can't be (I live an hour away).  Between the two of us we have been able meet most of their needs, but we want the very best for our parents, and they need more than we can provide.

Question:  has anyone heard of or used the Grandpad?  It is a tablet geared for folks 75 and older.  I just ordered it for my dad so he can read his email with a one-button tap.  I have been amazed and wowed by their customer service, which is geared for the elderly and their family.  My dad likes to read his email, but can't double-click anymore.  I am curious to hear other user comments.

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We all seem to be in that "sandwich" position, with aging parents and young/young-adult children.

DH is dropping stepdaughter and her kids back at her residence after a five hour visit here. She's been sober eight months and I'm guardedly optimistic.  Lots of guilt for not allowing them to move in here, but at the same time, none at all. 

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3 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@Marigold, I am so glad you were there for your nephew’s kids. I simply don’t understand how the rest of your family didn’t put their needs first, but thank goodness you did. 

 

2 hours ago, emma675 said:

Marigold, that was very kind of you and your family to be there. How incredibly selfish of the rest of his family. Who cares if they think they "can't handle" it? You suck it up and show up. 

This was my opinion also.  I really don't get it at all.  My husband and kids also thought it was a bad decision for family to not show up.

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@Marigold I'm so sorry for your loss. On the one hand, we tend not to travel for Thanksgiving. If we had said we would be there, we would. I have people in my life who would do that. At present two very close acquaintances are fighting over the death of a family member. It's really sad and upsetting. 

I do feel a little sorry for the parents, as its' hard to lose a child (not a parent myself, but I've known who are and have lost kids.) Other family members, especially the parents may feel a large sense of guilt as well as grief. They may feel they could have done something to keep this from happening either now or even when he was a kid.  And of course seeing his family in person may increase the guilt. Guilt or not, his parents had a rough thanksgiving. Grief, like depression, can be flare up, and our priest always told us it was hard all throughout the first year, especially in a month or two when condolence calls become fewer and fewer. 

I'm glad you were there for his wife and family. I'm sure it helped. 

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I forgot to tell the other part of my poster-hanging story!  I thought I should tell my principal what had happened in case there was any blowback from my encounter with the store owners.  When I told her what had happened, she told me they used to be members of our Catholic parish!  They are now, apparently, very anti-Catholic.

@Marigold, I'm so sorry about your nephew's kids being abandoned by the rest of the family.  It was a blessing that you were there for them.  

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@Temperance

I agree. His parents are beyond grieved and I imagine there is so much guilt on top of everything else.  They are not an emotionally well group of people so I guess they have minimal coping skills.  Still wish they would've stopped by for a few hours. 

Nephew's wife has the kids in a lot of different therapies, groups etc.  

 

@magpye29, I have always found that an "ex" anyone is the most outspoken and in your face about whatever group or lifestyle they left.  Guess you found a few ex Catholics.  I'm ex IFB and now ex Mormon.  I guess I should be raging on a few groups!  

Edited by Marigold
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For some reason during this Thanksgiving season I have been wondering about previous thread poster @Happyfatchick. I miss her insightful and humerous posts. Some of us felt like we really knew her as she shared so much about her family. I really hope she is doing well, and maybe writing her memoir that we can all read and enjoy.

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40 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

For some reason during this Thanksgiving season I have been wondering about previous thread poster @Happyfatchick. I miss her insightful and humerous posts. Some of us felt like we really knew her as she shared so much about her family. I really hope she is doing well, and maybe writing her memoir that we can all read and enjoy.

I was thinking exactly that and then I wondered if there was something that only some of us knew about?

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3 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I was thinking exactly that and then I wondered if there was something that only some of us knew about?

Interesting thought. I don’t know anything past her last post.

Of course she is entitled to her privacy, and doesn’t have to share anything, but if you are reading @HAPPYFATCHICK, we miss you and wish you well.

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Does anyone read Heather Graham books? They can be a little scary to read with the violent crimes/murders, but I cannot put them down. I started reading her books last year. She did write a science fiction type book with another writer this year, and it was good but scary. I usually do not care for science fiction books, but this one was interesting.

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1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

Does anyone read Heather Graham books? They can be a little scary to read with the violent crimes/murders, but I cannot put them down. I started reading her books last year. She did write a science fiction type book with another writer this year, and it was good but scary. I usually do not care for science fiction books, but this one was interesting.

No, but I am now heading to amazon to check them out.  I don’t usually like science fiction either, but I do love a good mystery!

eta: She has written a lot of books!  Which one(s) do you recommend?

Edited by EVS
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2 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Does anyone read Heather Graham books? They can be a little scary to read with the violent crimes/murders, but I cannot put them down. I started reading her books last year. She did write a science fiction type book with another writer this year, and it was good but scary. I usually do not care for science fiction books, but this one was interesting.

   No, but I recently took a book out for my kindle from the library. It was not what I thought it would be. It is so creepy and dystopian, and I can't put the stupid thing down. I have to see what happens to the girl at the end.

It's called The Girl With All the Gifts..which sounds lovely...but no. 

  It's so not the kind of book I usually would choose.

(I'm a big wuss when it comes to scary stuff.)

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I just finished the Shaye Archer series by Jana Deleon. It’s a 4 book mystery series. The subject matter can get a little heavy, but the books are pretty good and a quick read.

Edited by EVS
Autocorrect turned “Shaye” into “shake”.
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15 hours ago, EVS said:

No, but I am now heading to amazon to check them out.  I don’t usually like science fiction either, but I do love a good mystery!

eta: She has written a lot of books!  Which one(s) do you recommend?

I suggest the Krewe of Hunters book series she has written. The books are a little scary because of the ghosts coming from the grave to help solve the murders, and the murders are gross, but I love trying to figure who did it and why. The one science fiction type book is The Rising. I also like B.J. Daniels. She is from Montana and writes romance suspense books based on small towns in Montana. I also like Sherryl Woods and Fern Michaels. I am starting to read Danielle Steele books again, but I do not care for some of her books.

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34 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I suggest the Krewe of Hunters book series she has written. The books are a little scary because of the ghosts coming from the grave to help solve the murders, and the murders are gross, but I love trying to figure who did it and why. The one science fiction type book is The Rising. I also like B.J. Daniels. She is from Montana and writes romance suspense books based on small towns in Montana. I also like Sherryl Woods and Fern Michaels. I am starting to read Danielle Steele books again, but I do not care for some of her books.

Thanks. I like scary books too so these might be perfect for me. I downloaded a free sample of the first Krewe of Hunters book. I’ll try it as soon as I finish my current book.

I also like the Lexi Charmichael mysteries by Julie Moffett. Lexi is a computer nerd/hacker who gets involved in some crazy mysteries. 

For relatively light paranormal mysteries, I love the Mary O’Reilly books by Terri Reid. 

Edited by EVS
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I haven’t posted In a while but you all are my life line! I’ve been keeping up with your posts are you all are my lifeline. I adore this forum!  I keep all of you in my prayers I definitely do not have the wit that you all possess but you keep me going and some days that I am proud to say that I have spent some of of my days in the Prayer Closet and I know that I am in great company! Thank you for giving me a place to go even though it is mostly often a place to lurk?.  In case you are wondering, I bring an excellent bottle of tequila ??. Thanks again for brightening my day and for keepin me informed and for many needed laughs!

Edited by OneMoreStop
Fixing typos
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OneMoreStop ... Your words could be my words! I love this place, these folks, the snark and the kindness. I try to put a word in every few months! I wish to be part of this group of friends, but it usually seems like someone has already said what I was thinking, and so I move on to the next message. I have wondered about HappyFatChick's absence ... hope she returns soon!

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On 11/24/2017 at 9:39 PM, jennblevins said:

Yay!  Mine, too ... sort of. I moved offices this year, and a lot of my decorations apparently don’t work with my new office, which is about as far away in layout as possible from the old one, given that they’re both cubicles of the same size. Until I get an extension cord, any lights I hung up would be under the desk and casting enchanting sparkling beams on my feet and the spare pairs of shoes.  So no lights yet, but I did my best to make it look like a ribbon factory exploded nearby. 

At my old office, I would occasionally arrive in the morning to find that someone had made merry with the decorations overnight; the snowflakes would spell out some inappropriate phrase like “WTF” and the gingerbread men would be caught in compromising positions. While I appreciated the effort and ingenuity that went into it, I was always a little worried that the CEO would decide to take a early morning stroll around the office before I could fix things up. 

I also moved offices in the last few months and it is so much bigger!  Well my bathroom at home was bigger than my old office (it was horrible).  So I am decorating as well.  I have lights up and I have a cat skeleton that I got for Halloween that now is wearing a Santa hat and has lights wrapped around him.  Yes, Mr. Wigglesworth will be decorated for ALL the holidays.  

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58 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I have lights up and I have a cat skeleton that I got for Halloween that now is wearing a Santa hat and has lights wrapped around him.  Yes, Mr. Wigglesworth will be decorated for ALL the holidays.  

As he should be! And you must also festoon him accordingly for Pride!

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21 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

As he should be! And you must also festoon him accordingly for Pride!

TOTALLY!  I have my sister on the lookout at various stores for small dog outfits and hats.  So far he is pretty set for Halloween (he was dressed as a spider), a taco tuesday hat, a hot dog outfit so all I need is a pilgrim hat and bunny ears for Easter.  Yeah I am weird.

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One of my local television stations has my two favorite television shows in the morning/early afternoon: Adam 12 and Emergency. Now I drool errr... I mean watch Jim, Pete, Roy and John in action. A lot of the older shows are better than the crap they have on tv now.

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4 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

I have lights up and I have a cat skeleton that I got for Halloween that now is wearing a Santa hat and has lights wrapped around him.  Yes, Mr. Wigglesworth will be decorated for ALL the holidays.  

I used to work with someone who had a metal sculpture of a cat that wasn’t meant to look like a skeleton but did anyway. I kind of wish they’d thought to decorate it for holidays, because I found it sort of creepy — I used to pet it whenever I went by so that if it ever came to life, I wouldn’t be on the top of its metallic hit list. 

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