S02.E03: Tale Of Two Husbands

[Bossa Nova]

 

Maybe Dean rides a bike because he lost his license? DUI, anyone know?

 

That occurred to me too. But I think if he had gotten a DUI rendering him without a drivers license for awhile TorI would have certainly made that a part of the show and never kept it a secret - she would have milked that for all it's worth, how she is the martyr and has to drive the kids everywhere. 

 

Another theory for him riding his bike is that maybe they only have one car? Nahhh....I think he is happy to just ride and it is a healthy thing to do for himself, mentally and physically. Good for him.

 

Regarding the nostalgic revisit to her first marriage nonsense, what would she say if Dean kept a  stash of keepsakes from MaryJo, like their framed marriage license ! Tori showed she still had hers & other keepsakes from Charlie in storage last week, and  I thought what the fuck? How would you feel if Dean did that and needed to have a heart to heart face to face meeting with Mary Jo. Give me a break ! I think this Charlie reminiscing business is also another example showing how self centered Tori is. It's all about her feelings. I mean it i now 8 years later, and 4 kids. Tori has alot of miles on her since Charlie. It's as if she assumes Charlie is still pining for her and licking his heartbreak wounds. I quite doubt it.  For Tori to even have the brainspace and energy to even consider thinking nostalgically about Charlie....with 4 small children is fucked up. 

Edited November 5, 2014 by Bossa Nova

[TheRealT]

I am not a fan of Dean either but I am on the "Free Dean" wagon. Man, he comes home super stoked from a Therapist meeting (and the bike ride) and she turns that nasty look on him. I have a feeling the therapist gave him some postives for staying sober 9 months and listened to Dean describe the crap he gets from Tori and maybe gave him some empathy. He had a good, positive day. Meanwhile she had -- did we ever hear why she had a bad day?

 

I can't get the Posh Spice facial expression. I guess that's what Botox does to you.

 

One time I just wish when Tori starts harping on his addication, Dean would calmly say "(Babe) you have a serious eating disorder and probably a dual diagnosis with some other psychiatric problem! Work on your own problems too!".

The post-therapy and bike ride scene was one of the times I felt sorry for Dean. It's not hard to understand why he'd refuse to let the cameras film his therapy. In addition to the obvious reasons, that would give Tori even more opportunity to micromanage his therapy (one of the very few areas of his life that she doesn't control). The "therapy" with her therapist is ridiculously unfair to Dean since  that woman is basically paid to endorse all of Tori's bullshit and Dean is forced to sit there while they blame everything on him and ignore the roomful of elephants that are Tori's issues. His therapist probably lets him get a word in edgewise and validates some of his frustrations with Tori and the mess they've made of their lives. His therapist probably also told him that it would be good for him to get back into cycling and other healthy pursuits that Tori- I mean depression- made him give up. But Tori doesn't want him to go bike riding because he needs to be working to support the family instead. Hunh? It was hilarious how she pulled that out of nowhere. Also, isn't this show work? I would assume that Dean gets paid for it and he was also on Chopped Canada, so, though I doubt he's earning millions of dollars, it seems like he is working just as much as Tori. And since when is Tori so hot for him to work anyway? Didn't she passive-aggressively pressure him to drop out of Chopped Canada, the only gig he had going at the time? I doubt that she is supportive of him going to industry events to network, going to auditions, or considering jobs that would take him out of town, so that would severely limit his ability to make a living in show business even if she weren't also constantly trashing his image on this show. It seems like the constant references to her being the sole breadwinner for the family are just another way to punish and humiliate him.

 

One of the things that bugs me the most about this show is how they frame all of their marital/family problems around Dean's 2-day affair with some random chick who's since disappeared. Even in terms of Dean's addiction, it's always presented as if cheating on Tori, or, more accurately, getting caught for cheating, was the "rock bottom" they could not move past without him going to rehab/completely changing/etc. It's legit for a wife to be devastated by her husband's infidelity, however brief or insignificant the extramarital relationship is, but Tori carries on as if Dean killed their baby or something and there's also the little fact that she cheated on her first husband. That doesn't mean that she has no right to be upset, but it does mean that she should stop acting like infidelity is tantamount to murder. All of the wailing and moaning and rending of garments for months and months and months is ridiculous. She claimed to forgive Dean and commit to moving forward with their marriage, but she makes melodramatic, nasty pronouncements about how things can never be the same because Dean cheated all the time.

 

Most of the damage that the affair has caused to their family/children is  result of Tori's actions and inability to recover from the horror that she herself inflicted on two other adults and two kids. Tori's the one having constant meltdowns in front of the kids; Tori is the one who picks stupid fights with Dean in front of the kids; Tori is the one who moves the kids in and out of her bed depending on the status of her relationship with Dean; Tori is the one who whines and cries to the kids about how upset Mommy is because of her problems with Daddy; etc., etc., etc. They've never even alluded to Dean going off the rails with the kids because of his drugging or the affair. He's no great prize as a dad, but he seems to be able to get through feeding the kids breakfast or driving them somewhere without having a meltdown and making it all about him. 

Edited November 5, 2014 by TheRealT

[ghoulina]

Ghoulina, love the typo in the first line of your second paragraph!

 

Oh my gosh, I called him "Dead" at another point in my long rant and actually caught it and corrected it. Is that some subliminal crap coming through or what???

[Satchels of gold]

But when you consider it, she never had a mother. She didn't learn mothering skills by observing Candy Spelling, as most of us do with our own mothers and father. Her primary caregivers were hired help who went home to their own families at the end of the day. So... driving the kid to cheerleading practice and sitting in a plastic chair for 55 minutes while she does a cartwheel is a big deal to her. It reminds me of the "I'm the first in my family to go to college" syndrome. Tori is annoying as hell, but I can see why she wants validation for microwaving a potato. Her parents never did that. Poor little rich girl boo hoo hoo, I know. But feeling isolated, unloved and invalidated sucks when you're a kid. Neither of her parents gave her tools to have a fullfilling life. She learned how to use psychsomatic complaints to get out of stressful situations from her father, who pretended to have polio to spend a year in bed and away from bullies. She learned hoarding from her mother.

Her father pretended to have polio? How could I have missed this little gem? what in the fresh hell? I saw Dean being interviewed ( I think on E) and they asked him if it bothered him that Tori spoke with Charlie. He replied that everyone who knows Charlie thinks he's a great guy and nobody has a bad word to say about him. Dean earned some points with me on that one.

I'm on team Dean but only by default.

[ghoulina]

But Tori doesn't want him to go bike riding because he needs to be working to support the family instead. Hunh? It was hilarious how she pulled that out of nowhere. Also, isn't this show work? I would assume that Dean gets paid for it and he was also on Chopped Canada, so, though I doubt he's earning millions of dollars, it seems like he is working just as much as Tori. And since when is Tori so hot for him to work anyway? Didn't she passive-aggressively pressure him to drop out of Chopped Canada, the only gig he had going at the time?

 

He really just cannot win with her. No matter what he does, it's some slight against Tori. I think the real issue is that she didn't like seeing him happy. She never liked any of the hobbies he had, because they brought him joy and had nothing to do with her. She didn't like it that he had a nice afternoon and SHE was at home taking care of the kids (or attempting to). So she gets all nasty. But notice when SHE went out to the ALANON thing, and HE stayed home and got the kids to bed, he didn't act all put out when she waltzed in. He seemed genuinely happy that she attended a meeting and was curious to see how it went. I mean, isn't that what parents often do? Trade off taking care of the kids so the other can go out and do something? It's not like Dean was up in da club. He went to therapy, then for a bike ride. Granted, it seemed like he didn't clue her in on his plans - but I can't say I really blame her. He's going to get bitched at either way, so why not save your reaming for AFTER your peaceful bike ride? But it seems like, for Dean, getting some sort of exercise IS therapeutic and she should recognize that and not be so quick to act like a shrew. 

[GaT]

Being Tori's friend must be exhausting. They have to listen to her whine all the time, help her with her kids etc. I would do anything for my friends but it has to be returned as well. 

 

I don't believe Tori has friends either. She has people who want to be on TV, and they know if they sign up for this show, they will get their wish. And the accolades that follow. *cough*

 

I'm thinking that she has to be paying the "friends." Courtney, at least. Who is that chick and how does she have so much time for Dean and Tori and their kids? Doesn't she have a job or her own family or something? She also seems like she's auditioning for a sitcom in every scene. She's always in full hair and makeup and she has this "peppy, funny BFF" thing going on that doesn't ring true and bugs the hell out of me. I know Mehran has been Tori's friend for a while, so I believe that relationship is real, but I think he's involved in helping her run her businesses or something, so he's getting a check out of the deal at the end of the day.

I've been wondering about Courtney too. I'm getting a kind of a "psychiatrist" vibe more than a "BFF" vibe from her. I wonder if she's really some kind of life coach who's been hired for the show? 

 

Lol at Tori schlepping in $200 worth of crap from Home Depot. I understand buying something to help you jump start a new goal, whether it be organizational or even fitness related. BUT, this unnecessary splurge coming on the heels of her 127 storage vaults unveiling was just laughable. She will literally use any excuse to go and shop. Why does each person need their own weekly calendar? That will get old real fast. They sell cheap calendars that have spots for multiple family members, but that wouldn't satisfy her need to shop/collect/hoard.

 

Yeah, I laughed at this too, the way to get organized when you have too much junk is to go out & buy more junk! She probably already had all that stuff somewhere in one of her storage units. I think the calendar was just her way of keeping track of where Dean is every minute of the day, I think Dean should put "cheat on Tori with an ugly woman" in on of the days & see how long it takes Tori to have a meltdown.

[WhoaWhoKnew]

I don't think it's fair to Dean that they go to Tori's therapist for counseling together. Whether she's doing it on purpose or not, I feel like she's more inclined to take Tori's side on everything. It just seems like they should go to someone who is completely unbiased.

[RealityCowgirl]

Are they still going to that blonde doctor from last season? The one "T" had been going to for years? If so, yikes.

[CofCinci]

I don't think it's fair to Dean that they go to Tori's therapist for counseling together. Whether she's doing it on purpose or not, I feel like she's more inclined to take Tori's side on everything. It just seems like they should go to someone who is completely unbiased.

I'm a licensed mental health professional who provides individual, couple/conjoint, family and group psychotherapy in an outpatient mental health clinic. Most psychotherapists will not provide conjoint therapy to a couple if they're seeing one of the partners for individual treatment. Volumes have been written on whether or not it is unethical. Professionally, I will not treat a couple if I've worked with one partner previously. I will, however, allow the partner to come in for a session or two for psychoeducation and to work out safety plans. One reason I tuned in to this show was so see how this therapist works. When I realized she saw Tori individually and then Tori and Dean as a couple, I was thrown aback. It's creating a dual relationship and is unethical.

[MamaR]

Just read on us weekly online that Dean quit True Tori, too bad the children don't have that option.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/dean-mcdermott-quits-true-tori-contemplated-suicide-2014511

Edited November 5, 2014 by MamaR

[LoLo]

I've been wondering about Courtney too. I'm getting a kind of a "psychiatrist" vibe more than a "BFF" vibe from her. I wonder if she's really some kind of life coach who's been hired for the show? 

 

Yeah, I laughed at this too, the way to get organized when you have too much junk is to go out & buy more junk! She probably already had all that stuff somewhere in one of her storage units. I think the calendar was just her way of keeping track of where Dean is every minute of the day, I think Dean should put "cheat on Tori with an ugly woman" in on of the days & see how long it takes Tori to have a meltdown.

I agree. When my 3 boys were younger, I worked a full time job, did the books for my husbands business on the side, was team mom to the football & baseball teams. We had football 4 nights a week & all day on Saturday during that season. On top of not having nannies, having to do the housework, shopping, finances, homework etc. My point is, mothers do that, all without having to spend money on items to get organized. I used to print out a calendar for free & had it on the desk. Not a big deal. I think more than him being an addict, she's an addict to shopping, spending, hoarding, nagging & crying & wearing the worst lipstick I've ever seen.

[GaT]

 I think more than him being an addict, she's an addict to shopping, spending, hoarding, nagging & crying & wearing the worst lipstick I've ever seen.

Another thing I forgot about LOL. When she was driving to meet Charlie & she said something about her lipstick not being berry like she thought it was & how it was going to bother her the whole time I thought "what? that's what you're worrying about?" I kept waiting for her to break down in tears over it.

[ghoulina]

. I think the calendar was just her way of keeping track of where Dean is every minute of the day,

 

That's exactly what it's for. Notice she didn't use herself as an example - "Tuesday - eat one cherry tomato. Friday - get ugly-ass bob shellacked onto head". Or even the kids - "Stella - cheer - Friday". No, she immediately used Dean as an example and is all, "You can put your appointments or meetings on here". He saw through it right away. Not only was it a way to keep tabs on him, but also another chance for her to passive-aggressively display that she's not happy about his lack of attendance at the meetings. 

[Thula]

Dean is quitting the show because it's "difficult" and he's tired of "sharing his feelings thoughts and demons". What has he bared? Most of the good stuff happened off-camera (if it happened at all) - his 5150, Rehab, AA & therapy sessions - there is no way Tori would allow him to blow off potential income by quitting with 5 more episodes to film. I swear I read somewhere that there were only 4 episodes this season anyway, which would explain why Tori and Dean are making so much less $$ this time around. The big Mary Jo/Tori confrontation airs next week, something producers would normally air for a season finale. Maybe the network already decided the ratings are too low to give them 2nd seaons "extra" episodes or a 3rd season so Dean's trying to spin it around like its his idea to pull the plug. LOL

[WhoaWhoKnew]

I'm a licensed mental health professional who provides individual, couple/conjoint, family and group psychotherapy in an outpatient mental health clinic. Most psychotherapists will not provide conjoint therapy to a couple if they're seeing one of the partners for individual treatment. Volumes have been written on whether or not it is unethical. Professionally, I will not treat a couple if I've worked with one partner previously. I will, however, allow the partner to come in for a session or two for psychoeducation and to work out safety plans. One reason I tuned in to this show was so see how this therapist works. When I realized she saw Tori individually and then Tori and Dean as a couple, I was thrown aback. It's creating a dual relationship and is unethical.

I'm really glad to hear this. I didn't know if what Wexler was doing was standard practice or not. I had a therapist who wouldn't take my friend as a patient because I had talked about her in sessions even though it was very casually and in glowing terms, so I assumed that's what all therapists did. This makes me question Wexler even more.

[watcherwoman]

The kids were eating at 8:30pm because Dean wasn't home to fix their damn dinner. Tori probably starved them to make sure Dean walked in to see her slaving away in the kitchen. Poor poor Tori, good gawd!

So some guy in rehab commits suicide and Tori's first reaction is to sit Dean down and make it all about her? What about the poor guy who died? No, it's about Tori having another worry that could put her in the hospital.

Dean looks terrible, I don't think he could fake his downfall. I hope he really did quit the show. I know he's an ass, but, Tori could make me want to ride my bike straight into a semi truck.

[Lexie]

I think that what is going on here is that Dean has acted like a total asshole since they first got together, and now Tori is using the affair as a reason to tell him how she really feels when he starts correcting her and giving lectures.   I remember him on their show freaking out because she gave the kids a bag of m and ms instead of handing them one m and m.  Just being pissy and a hothead, stuff like that.   The problem is that she is a total basket case and takes offense to anything he says that isn't 'hey babe you're hot, we have a fairytale romance, you're perfect blah blah blah'.   Dean is a douche but Tori is a nutcase.   When those two get a divorce Dean will probably spill all the beans on her eating disorder and whatever other major issues Tori has.   IDK why he even cares about what happened with the Charlie meeting.   Charlie probably wouldn't take Tori back under any circumstances, he is probably relieved that she's somebody else's problem now.  Dean is not that dumb.   He knows what a trainwreck Tori is.   At least he's attempting to fix some of his problems with AA.   Tori seems at least as sick as Dean mentally and she doesn't seem to be making any progress at all.  

[GaT]

I wonder if Tori going into the hospital (is she still there?) has anything to do with Dean quitting the show? Like maybe he quit but they didn't announce it, & Tori once again made it about her by getting "sick". I really don't understand how she can not see how badly she comes off.

[Lexie]

I think she doesn't comprehend how bad she looks because she is so convinced that she had it worse as a child and is the victim of her mother and her husband.   Like she's some kind of underdog that people are rooting for.   Candy isn't mother of the year but I bet Tori never had to live with the screaming tantrums, bickering, constant crying and bullshit that her kids have to.

[Vixenstud]

Late to the party, but....

 

Gotdamn, but Dean needs to run, and run quickly!

 

Baked Potato-gate – First of all, Dean had a nice day cycling with his friend….god forbid anyone have a positive day in the house of fuckin' doom!  Right after he shared his day Tori got this ‘how dare you have fun’ look on her pickle puss.  Then when he tried to help her fix the potato, she makes a mountain out of a non-existent molehill.  He was only trying to help and she actually turned it into a fight?!  The man…cannot…win! 

 

Dean – “I gave up scuba, biking, etc. due to the demons in my head.”  No boo-boo, you gave up scuba, biking, etc. because of your shrew of a wife; I saw Inn Love/Home Sweet Hollywood, where she was constantly keeping your ass on a tight leash. 

 

Charlie, like Mary Jo is a class act.  How non self-aware was Tori….”I was sad when he mentioned having to come to grips with the end of our marriage.”  Bitch, you ended the marriage at your therapist’s office and never looked back!  If Dean hadn’t cheated you know good and damned well you wouldn’t be feeling any type of remorse over what you did to Charlie, as you don’t give two bluedilly fucks about him.  I hope the man is married with a gaggle of kids to a wonderful woman and they are both rich in love.

 

How is she able to spend money at Office Max, which ain’t a cheap place, if she’s so ‘broke’?  Couldn’t take your ass to a Dollar General or something?!

[Lexie]

Baked Potato-gate – First of all, Dean had a nice day cycling with his friend….god forbid anyone have a positive day in the house of fuckin' doom!  Right after he shared his day Tori got this ‘how dare you have fun’ look on her pickle puss.  Then when he tried to help her fix the potato, she makes a mountain out of a non-existent molehill.  He was only trying to help and she actually turned it into a fight?!  The man…cannot…win!

 

House of fuckin' doom sums it up perfectly.  They should replace that McDermott baby farm sign with one that says House of Fuckin' Doom.   Did you catch her saying that he doesn't support his family or something like that?  She knew this whole time he wasn't earning enough to keep her lifestyle at the level her father did, wtf.   Even when he was doing Chopped Canada she was crying that he should stay home and wallow in the house of fuckin doom misery some more.   

It's pretty bad when a smarmy douchebag like Deano is looking like the more rational, reasonable person in the relationship.   

 

I think Tori would go running back to Charlie in a second if he'd have her.   That crying jag looked like a whole lot of regret to me, and I'm not buying that she felt regret about the way she ended it.   She regrets that she threw away a nice guy who made her feel safe and treated her well for a jackass like Dean.  

Edited November 6, 2014 by Lexie

[AnnieGirl]

The editors were on fire this episode. First we have Tori stating in a TH that Dead is a priority in her life, right after she answered what was obviously a very casual phone call in the middle of him sharing his feelings. Then we got Tori saying she was super psyched to be organized for the first time in 41 years - cut to a bunch of stuff strewn across the backyard. I was dying!

And the "we are living paycheck to paycheck" comment followed by a close up shot of the Cadillac logo on the steering wheel.

 

Tori, you know you can park inside your garage to avoid the Paparazzi.  Unless, of course, that's a hoarding mess too.

[4leafclover]

So, now Dean is quitting the show but plans to continue working on his marriage?  Doesn't he know the two go hand-in-hand, at least in Tori's world?

 

I think I gave this premise a good shake.  I had never read any of her books, had never seen any of her reality shows and only watched 90210 a few times when it was in its early days of popularity.  As time went on and I watched True Tori more often,  I bought one of her books (I know, I know) and felt bad for the way she described her mother's behavior toward her as a child.  I can understand a grown woman having self-esteem issues when she was told by her mother (as a child) that she was ugly and that she really needed a nose job.  I can understand her having issues of loyalty and loneliness from not having childhood friends.  I even understand her reluctance to let go of anything that may hold any significance in her life.  I can understand these issues seeping into a marriage, especially when the partner brings his own issues into the relationship.  However, when I learned that Tori has been in counseling for 20 years I said "Oh hell no."  Come on, after that long (even with "Dr." Wexler) she has not developed any self-awareness?  No insight?  Still the same insecure, demanding and jealous little girl she was 35 years ago?  I feel snarky saying this, but I'm thinking Dr. Wexler's fancy car, big house and Beverly Hills office have all been paid for exclusively by the Spelling Corporation, as in "milked for all its worth."  

 

One more thought--Tori repeatedly said the monthly storage fees are equivalent to a mortgage.  And we all know that Tori does not live in the kinds of houses that most of us live in.  I'm betting she's talking about a Beverly Hills address mortgage--my gosh girl, its time to empty those vaults!

Edited November 6, 2014 by 4leafclover

[demarti]

Those poor kids do not have a chance in hell of growing up to be normal, happy, confident adults. They would be better off if Candy paid for all of them to go off to boarding school so they didn't have to live in that dysfunction day after day. Candy, where are you??

[ChristmasJones]

This show has made it clear that Tori is really messed up. Like genuinely messed up, not just slightly neurotic. Like mental illness messed up.

 

Its sad.

[kathybgd]

If it is the true tori and Dean really did quit, then I say 'Right on Dean boy! You do it! . Ñext , he needs to quit that one sided therapy shit with that blond bimbo. I saw Dean more than a few times on the Home and Family Show on Hallmark. He would cook and talk about his kids like they were the most important things in his life, and he came off so genuinely nice! I would advise him to run for the hills and not worry about the kids. He could easily get custody if he stays on the straight and narrow. He has millions of witnesses that she is a self absorbed narcissist who can't take care of her kids. Oh and she is just too ugly to screw!

[Lablover27]

I'm not defending Dean, he's a douche. But he had a job, Chopped Canada & she didn't feel comfortable with him being in Canada because that's where he cheated. I feel like no matter what he does he's damned with her. If he works, she would question who he talked to at work. If he has a hobby she crushes it. If he's home she's mad he's not working. He can't win with her. He used to love to ride motorcycles, he got hurt & quit to appease her. He loved to go diving, she didn't like him being away or being around another girl who was diving with their team. So he quit. He's supported her in every way, every job she's jumped to, stores, design, bed & breakfast, her hoarding, mom issues etc. They are both a hot mess & dysfunctional. I just feel he can't win, if he shows support she questions him, if he doesn't she questions him. If she can't forgive, she needs to move on & be fair to both of them & the kids. She constantly argues in front of them, cries & has outbursts. At least we see him occasionally playing with the kids. She stresses out over making a baked potato.

 

It was Tori who also pushed Deano to be "The Gormet Dad".  Dean went on that cooking competition show with Guy and Rachel and won.  Of course he's going to know how to cook a potato better crazy lady. 

 

I'm guessing she 'lets' him do the The Gormet Dad because he can do it from home.  Here's his "I'm Back" post:

 

"It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here on the Gourmet Dad, and I’m really excited to be back to it! I’ve spent the last several months working on myself and our family, and I can’t wait to get back in the swing of things here on The Gourmet Dad.

 

I’ll be blogging about everything from fitness to kid-friendly foods to family. Over the last few months it’s been incredibly important for me to stay healthy, focus on my sobriety and do everything I can to be the best husband and father possible. It’s been a difficult year, but I’m happy to say that I’m doing better than ever. And the same goes for our family. We’re stronger than ever and I’m excited to share our family’s milestones with all of you.

 

I also wanted to thank all of you for your support over the last several months. T and I have received so many messages from you guys offering us your love and strength, and it’s been just incredible to have so much support from so many amazing people.

 

So to celebrate the relaunch of The Gourmet Dad, I wanted to put together a cool giveaway for you guys.  I’ve gotten into Instgram lately, so I thought it would be fun to give one of you an Instagram video shoutout. So just leave a comment with a question for me and I’ll choose a winner and post a video answering your question.

 

Here’s how you can enter:

1.FOLLOW. Make sure you’re following me on Twitter and Instagram (@ImDeanMcDermott).

2.COMMENT. Leave me a comment below asking me a question that you want me to answer in an Instagram video. leave your Instagram name and Twitter handle so I can contact you if you win and also give you a shoutout when I post the video.

3.CHECK BACK. Come back to The Gourmet Dad next week to see if you won!

Thanks for your support and here’s to The Gourmet Dad!"

 

August 14, 2014

 

http://deanmcdermott.com/2014/08/the-gourmet-dad-is-back/

Edited November 6, 2014 by Lablover27

[woodscommaelle]

Tori, you know you can park inside your garage to avoid the Paparazzi.  Unless, of course, that's a hoarding mess too.

Since they know the paparazzi are always around, why not rent/buy a house with a big wall out front so they wouldn't be able to see them getting in/out of their cars at home? I know they can't avoid them out in the real world, but it seems like an easy answer for them at home.

Tori needs to stop wearing t-shirts with the entire sides cut out. Not a good look. For anyone.

[Kellyee]

 

I think Tori would go running back to Charlie in a second if he'd have her.   That crying jag looked like a whole lot of regret to me, and I'm not buying that she felt regret about the way she ended it.   She regrets that she threw away a nice guy who made her feel safe and treated her well for a jackass like Dean.

 

In one of the earlier Tori and Dean reality shows, Tori made a crack about Charile being a massage therapist and that she couldn't possibly be with a massage therapist. I believe it may be in her first book as well. Tori's not upset that she lost Charlie. Tori is upset because her little fairy tale isn't quite working out. And she's upset to ramp up the drama and get some ratings for this stupid show. Tori is a snob and a bitch, when you peel the facade away.

 

The previews next week looked interesting. Maryjo is really pretty.

 

Dean is emotionally exhausting. And I still suspect that his "addiction" issues are more about excusing his cheating and less about having a real addiction problem. That's just my opinion, but their whole relationship has been on television and we never saw Dean looking jacked up until after the affair.

[TheRealT]

Dean is emotionally exhausting. And I still suspect that his "addiction" issues are more about excusing his cheating and less about having a real addiction problem. That's just my opinion, but their whole relationship has been on television and we never saw Dean looking jacked up until after the affair.

I've thought the same thing. It seems like Tori demanded a BIG, BIG, COMPLETELY DEVASTATED reaction from him when she found out about the cheating and the whole addict/rehab thing was a way for him to offer up a "reason" that he cheated and demonstrate that he's really going to change. A bonus of going to rehab was getting away from her and her constant whining. If she's still carrying on this much a year later, imagine what she was like in the first few days/weeks after she found out. Rehab beats an extended hospital stay, which is what Tori would have done.

 

That's assuming that he even went to rehab, which is questionable. There was an article that questioned his stay in rehab because they tweeted family photos during that time and he was seen out somewhere. They're both such liars that I question everything they present on the show. The timeline for Dean's "breakdown" is very fuzzy and seems to change. Last season on the show they said he was 5150ed because he was in the therapist's office thinking about kicking the window out and jumping through it. That story didn't quite make sense and now his story of how he ended up in the hospital is that he was driving around with a loaded gun planning to shoot himself after attending Liam's school play. It's never made sense to me that Dean was supposedly a raging addict and was thisclose to killing himself, but the root cause of all of their problems and the focus of their therapy is DEAN CHEATED ON TORI. I would imagine that other wives of addicts at the Al Anon meeting (if Tori even really went) had stories about how their husbands let them and their kids down in various ways over long periods of time because of the addiction. Tori's story is "Everything was wonderful, then DEAN CHEATED ON ME and we realized that he's completely fucked up, a drug addict, and suicidal!" It doesn't make sense. They try to sell this story that everything was a perfect fairy tale until that fateful weekend, but they keep slipping and talking about how their relationship has been fucked up since the beginning.

[Neurochick]

I don't get why Tori is so upset with Dean not working, why she's worried about finances when she has a shit load of stuff she's hoarding that, according to her, could pay for another house.  WTF?  They need to get off TV, forever. 

 

Oh, and Al-Anon has "meetings" not "sessions," it's not therapy.  

[Kellyee]

 

I don't get why Tori is so upset with Dean not working, why she's worried about finances when she has a shit load of stuff she's hoarding that, according to her, could pay for another house.  WTF?  They need to get off TV, forever.

I really wonder if Tori doing this show is just one big punishment for Dean. She says she cares about whether he kills himself, but she keeps humiliating him on camera. She talks about how he pays for nothing, has no job, and now she's going to visit his ex-wife and hear all about how he was a loser way-back-when too. And she was very positive about Charlie while looking at Dean like she could barely stand him.

[CofCinci]

Oh, and Al-Anon has "meetings" not "sessions," it's not therapy.

Some groups do provide information "sessions" for family members to learn about addiction and the phases of recovery. I figure Tori attended something like that rather than a discussion, step discussion or speaker group.

[MrsEVH]

 

How is she able to spend money at Office Max, which ain’t a cheap place, if she’s so ‘broke’?  Couldn’t take your ass to a Dollar General or something?

I was at the Dollar Tree the other day and noticed they had large appointment calendars that could be hung on the wall or a fridge to write down appointments, activities, etc. If you got one for each family member it would only be $6.00.

[alexa]

I totally agree with the discussion above about how his addictions suddenly came into play after the cheating.  That has gone through my head more than once how it makes no sense that they were on TV for several seasons while he was supposedly a complete addict to drugs and alcohol, but it never showed through in any way--appearance, the way he acted, their relationship, etc.  Suddenly he cheats, looks like crap, goes on and on about all of his demons, etc.  I know addicts and depressed people can hide their problems well, but I am not sure that Dean could hide it that well.  I think especially when his appearance is discussed that makes a great point. 

 

Even Tori's issues were kind of obvious in the early seasons, so you would think there would have been some form of Dean's issues being shown unintendedly.

[SunnyBeBe]

Tori is so messed up that she doesn't get that she has created a much worse childhood for her kids than the one she is always complaining about.  

 

I wonder about her so-called close friends.  I've always thought they had her back, but now I wonder.  how can a true close friend stand by and watch the kids go through this on tv?  The only explanation I can arrive at is some financial compensation.  So sad.

[alexa]

I do have to defend Tori in one area of discussion on this forum.  I don't personally view Office Max as an expensive place, and I really dislike Dollar stores quite a bit.  No offense, but I always find them kind of haphazardly put together and a bit junkie at times.  Do I think she needs fancy weekly calendars?  No, but I also don't feel like it is a big deal that she went to an office store to buy items.  There are probably a lot of high end stores in her area that she could have gone to that actually are "expensive".   There is a lot to pick on about Tori, but not going to Dollar General should probably not be one of them --  given that many "normal" people would go to an office store or Target instead.

[JasminePhyllisia]

I think the bags said Office Depot.  For something as specific as she wanted an office supply store would probably have more options.

[Mckinnonsgirl]

"Late to the party, but....

 

 

How is she able to spend money at Office Max, which ain’t a cheap place, if she’s so ‘broke’?  Couldn’t take your ass to a Dollar General or something?"

 

You took the words right out of my mouth!  The first thing I thought when I saw the Office Depot bags was, Really?  You can't go to Target or Walmart?  

 

I had a friend who spotted Shannon Doherty at a Target in Valencia and even stopped to take pic with her.. so if Shannon can go to a discount store so can Tori "boo hoo" Spelling.

 

On a side note, another friend met Tori Spelling at Chuck E Cheese gosh, I want to say it was a couple of years ago and Tori took a pic with her, minus make-up and was nice enough to give my friend the rest of her tokens when she left.  Sooo, the woman isn't all bad, I just see Tori as someone who is screaming with insecurity and needs the focus on her whether bad or to good,  to feel any type of validation.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Mckinnonsgirl

[ghoulina]

Tori, you know you can park inside your garage to avoid the Paparazzi.  Unless, of course, that's a hoarding mess too.

 

Her boo-hooing about the paparazzi really made me roll my eyes. She is the one putting all their business out on front street, so who is she to complain?

 

So, now Dean is quitting the show but plans to continue working on his marriage?  Doesn't he know the two go hand-in-hand, at least in Tori's world?

 

I wouldn't be surprised if quitting the show was a worse offense than cheating. 

 

Tori's not upset that she lost Charlie. Tori is upset because her little fairy tale isn't quite working out.

 

And while she may not want to go back to him, I could see her being upset that he has totally moved on and wouldn't even WANT her back. 

[Eme]

Full Disclosure: I know less than zero about Al-Anon but%u2026I totally believe that she went to the meeting -- in order to GET SOME ATTENTION!! She came back and the happy look on his face had to be wiped off immediately! She told him how when she shared her story that they told her that Deano had not yet reached "rock bottom." Deano's face fell and he said, rightly, "They don't know my whole story." Indeed. They don't know what he puts up with daily. I could just bet that she took a ton of pleasure dissing him and giving her whole Poor Me story to a new group of people. Yeech.

The potato thing was about her being upset that she had no idea where he was all day, and maybe it didn't particularly bother her UNTIL he said he'd met up with the gal pal. THAT is what seemed to set Tori off. Everyone can see that she was furious that he is spending time being HAPPY by himself while she slaves away at home with the kidz. Since I don't watch this show regularly, I can't tell if including her in any of his hobbies would ever work? She does seem like she is never happy about anything and his cheating has caused her to go into a deep depression.

Why is no one talking about the HORROR of her saying that if they cannot have MORE children than their whole relationship is kaput. Really? Seriously? What happens when you turn 50? Because%u2026.one day you WILL and there will be no possibility of having a baby%u2026and yet, you will be together, presumably? That her whole self-worth is tied up with being a baby-maker is shocking and sad. The fact that he didn't even contradict her is also weirdo.

They are a strange couple. The cameras are not helping. They BOTH need to get some jobs on the Hallmark channel and start paying for their livelihoods. Also, they needed a PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER who is used to dealing with Hoarders to help her relinquish her hold on those items in the storage bins. It was overwhelming to her, and it did not need to be. She cannot tackle it all at once, and needs a mental health professional with her to help her made the tough choices. If she were able to sell some of that stuff, she'd gave some extra money and have to rent less space%u2026Win-Win. Candy needs to use some of her kabillions and help out this girl -- it is partly Candy's fault that she is this way%u2026.so Candy needs to get some professional help in there pronto before the kidz are lost themselves.

Sorry about the random numbers in my previous post -- apparently that happens when you put in a series of dots.

[DangerousMinds]

Tori, it appears that you married a massage therapist. How dare you make fun of his profession now? She is sickening.

[Darknight]

Gosh I can't with this show, I lose brain cells and can't watch for long. But if Tori been in therapy for X amount of years and she has all these problems in her life, then it's time to find a new therapist to work on her issues. She needs someone that's going to hit her hard and tell her the truth, not her currently therapist who kisses her ass. As much as I hate to say this Dean looks like the better parent than Tori here.

[Lexie]

Her boo-hooing about the paparazzi really made me roll my eyes. She is the one putting all their business out on front street, so who is she to complain?

 

It is pretty ridiculous to complain about the paparazzi getting a shot when there's a camera guy in the car and a crew in the house.   

 

Candy needs to use some of her kabillions and help out this girl -- it is partly Candy's fault that she is this way

 

I disagree with this.   No matter how much Candy gave her, Tori would blow it.   How is enabling Tori's shopaholic/hoarding problem helping her?   She blew through ten years worth of 90210 money, all the money from those cheesy lifetime movies, the 800,000 she inherited.   That is more money than most people see in a lifetime.   It seems like Tori's parents did try to teach her financial responsibility because they had her rent places they owned.   So she was set up with a great paying job, and a place to live (paid for by the job she was handed), and she still wants to complain that they did nothing for her and she had to work?   I don't get that reasoning at all.    Also, think about the crap that Tori has talked on her mother.   It's a wonder that Candy hasn't disowned Tori at this point.   Tori needs to learn to be an adult, live within her means (and she's not broke by the way.  She is paying almost 7000 a month to store all that crap she's hoarding), be an adult, and learn not to bite the hand that feeds her.    Candy would probably be a lot more willing to help Tori if Tori hadn't made a career out of airing dirty laundry and badmouthing her mother.  She's 41 years old and a mother of 4.   Time to stop blaming Mommy for all her problems and get her act together.

[ghoulina]

Since I don't watch this show regularly, I can't tell if including her in any of his hobbies would ever work? She does seem like she is never happy about anything

 

Yea, he tried that and it didn't work. She is a soul-suck, who sucks the fun out of everything. And really, it's okay for married couples to have separate hobbies. Dean clearly gets some release from doing physical/exciting activities. He should be encouraged. Tori seems to enjoy crafts, and that's not really something Dean seems to like. Why don't they take turn watching the kids so the other can have some time to themselves and decompress. Really, with how dysfunctional they are, they shouldn't be together all the time anyhow. But clearly, that's what Tori wants. Twenty-four-seven surveillance of Dean. 

[blueridgerobin]

I'm only 15 minutes into this mess from Tuesday night, and I need to come out of lurkdom to rage for a moment.

 

I agree that Dean should be supporting his family, but physical activity has been shown to help with depression.  Instead of resenting him for it, shouldn't Tori be happy that he's doing something other than sitting around and stewing?  No, what am I thinking...to her mind, that's JUST the thing to do.

 

Potatogate is effing ridiculous.  So Tori's idea of dinner for the kids at 8 p.m. is to throw some odd stuff into the microwave....macaroni and cheese (?), a baked potato, etc.  She's at home all the time; can't she manage a decent damn dinner?  Dean is right; they shouldn't be eating out of the microwave all the time.  "I start to feel really bad and question myself and my potato-making skills."  LOL.  He's right again---such raving insecurity is HER problem.  Instead of being glad that her son finally got his dinner, she stands there with pursed lips because Dean figured out how to cook the damn vegetable.   I know Dean is a sleaze, but I'm becoming more and more sympathetic to his plight of being married to Tori.  Everything he does will always be wrong.

 

Tori's appearance is truly disturbing.  Her shoulders are sharp points; there is a hollow cave between her breasts; and her chest is a rack of bones.  Does that fraud quack Wexler ever address the woman's obvious eating disorder? 

 

Do Tori's friends EVER get tired of discussing HER?  I wonder if Tori reciprocates when they're having problems, or if she always turns the conversation back onto herself.  I suspect the latter.  My husband's sister-in-law was just like her.  She would call and want me to spend hours on the phone helping her analyze every detail of her marriage.  Just for fun, I used to try to change the subject to myself, to see what she would do.  She would say, "Hmmm...." and start right off again on her life issues, LOL.  Eventually I would put the phone down on the counter and walk away...she kept yapping, and was never the wiser.

 

Truly I have never seen two such navel-gazing, self-absorbed idiots as Tori and Dean. 

[ghoulina]

"I start to feel really bad and question myself and my potato-making skills."  LOL.  He's right again---such raving insecurity is HER problem.

 

I LOVED when Dean told her that it was her problem! Best part of the show. I feel like there's been so much tip-toeing around her since the affair. Like she's the victim here, so he can't point out her flaws. But yea....no. Dean could be the most amazing husband in the world and it wouldn't fix her insecurities. I say this as a very insecure woman myself, but I work REALLY hard on making sure my husband doesn't suffer for it, as it's not at all his fault. 

 

Dean was just trying to feed the poor child, and she had to make it all about her. As usual. She's exhausting. 

 

(I just almost made another subliminal typo - wrote "She's sexhausting"!)

[4leafclover]

 

(I just almost made another subliminal typo - wrote "She's sexhausting"!)

 

lol--you are really becoming the master of subliminal typos!

[BradandJanet]

Thank you all for suffering through this show to report. I just couldn't watch the last episode, but caught a scene of Tori and Dean sitting on a bed talking through one of Tori's crises. She's whining and carrying on, and he's looking mightily concerned about her angst. Same old, same old. I watch the scene only because Dean was petting a pink animal. What was that thing? Do they pay to have an animal decorated?

[heatherchandler]

In one of the earlier Tori and Dean reality shows, Tori made a crack about Charile being a massage therapist and that she couldn't possibly be with a massage therapist.

Charlie isn't a massage therapist (he is a writer) but she said that he DRESSED like one. That's quite a dig.