S09.E13: Jill's Wedding

[NausetGirl]

I live in Texas and have clients in both Arkansas and Louisiana.  Many of my clients refer to me as "MIss Rumcake" .  It was explained to me as a sign of respect. 

 

I have to say I kind of this Southern tradition quite a bit.  When I was young, everyone older than me [except for my teen cousins] were Aunt and Uncle or Mr and Mrs or whatever. No bones about it. It never would have crossed my mind to call the married couples next door to us "Ron and Ellie" or "Millie and Harold." But now I get called by my first name by many of the teen and 20-something college students I work with. I know they don't mean any disrespect - things have just changed socially.  But I'm not sure they should have. It does seem respectful to wait until someone older than you says "Please call me Tony..."

Edited November 1, 2014 by NausetGirl

[nccueagle84]

By the time the guests got them, the ice cream was certainly completely melted into the lukewarm root beer.

 

Bottom line -- what they served were not root beer floats. What the guests ended up with was warm "cream of root beer".  Yuck.

I noticed this too! I thought the root beer goes on the bottom then you add on the scoop of ice cream so that it "floats"....hence the name.  They served them a glass of light brown creamy liquid.

[VioletNevermind]

I wondered about that too. Michelle and JB kept referring to Cathy as Miss Cathy. I thought it odd that they weren't just calling her Cathy.

It's no more normal than serving popcorn at a wedding.

 

Every single one of Michelle's references to and exchanges with Derick's mother have come across as totally condescending, especially after her cancer announcement.  Her syrupy "bless her heart" during the public prayer in front of the cameras before the wedding made my skin crawl.  God only knows what the Dillard family thinks of this circus.

 

Michelle has no clue how easy she has it.  It's been YEARS since she had the experience of taking care of multiple kids.  She has no clue what it's like to attempt to hold a conversation with an adult while corralling three or more kids in a grocery store, or dealing with multiple sick kids, etc.  She handed that off long ago.  Her poor girls have more hardcore child-rearing experience than she ever will.  I just wish that Jill had had a longer break from mothering her siblings before becoming an actual mother.  Oh well . . .

[andromeda331]

After all, they barely know the woman at this point.

 

 

I wondered if they ever visited Cathy at home or in the hospital I don't think I ever heard if JimBob and/or Michelle did that. If my future son-in-law's mother had cancer, I would visit her and fairly often. It would be strange to me not but then in my family that would be considered normal. My grandparents always visited each other if one was in hospital, when my mother was in the hospital a few times my sister-in-law's mother always dropped into visit. 

 

Back to whether or not they should have postponed the wedding. I just really think it would have been nice if Jill had asked Derick. Even if he was fine with it and wanted to go forward. Even if Cathy was fine and wanted it to go one, if she didn't want it postpone on her account. I have no problem with them going on with the ceremony, but when they found out at the rehearsal that she wasn't able to make it for the dinner and wasn't sure if she'd make it to the ceremony the next day, I just think it would have been really nice to if Jill asked then if he wanted to go ahead with the ceremony. Or wait until the morning to see. It just seems really odd that after hearing that kind of news you wouldn't suggested or offer to postpone the wedding. Or even just asking if he was still okay with going on with the it. If he was, then great no problem with them going on with the wedding. But its just seems odd to me that it never came up. While I know Michelle and JimBob don't have normal reactions, it was so weird JimBob was telling Michelle that it never came. If it was my parents they'd be wondering if we should postpone the wedding and giving all kinds of assurances if we chose to go that route or to go ahead with the ceremony. 

[MarysWetBar]

I know everyone is liking Dan -- but didn't it seem like he had NOTHING to say -- hence the sarcastic "we've been brothers for 23 yrs now." And the story about how he met Jill first. It seemed like he had nothing to say about the couple probably because he hasn't interacted much with them and certainly not without a chaperone trailing behind. It was sweet and sad to see him speaking on behalf of their mother and father. You can see how stressed out they both are about their mom and still sad about their dad of course.

I like Dan and really think he just isn't into the whole Duggar experience but my son said " what's with THAT guy? He has about as much charisma as a school bus fire." That made me giggle.

[nccueagle84]

I wondered if they ever visited Cathy at home or in the hospital I don't think I ever heard if JimBob and/or Michelle did that. 

I don't mean to get off topic nor do I want to defend Boob or J'chelle but they may not have got the chance to depending on how quickly Cathy got sick.  Before my mother died last year from cancer at one point her visitors were limited to adults who were 100% blood relative because her immune system was so compromised.  

 

Back on topic....during the wedding episode I did start bawling like a baby when Derrick & Jill went to see Cathy in the separate area and she kind of gave them air kisses. My mom would do the same thing right after a round of chemo. 

 

Oh & did anyone notice when Derrick & Jill arrived to the church & Joy-Anna was walking in with them from the parking lot that she was barefoot? Now I am a true North Carolina country girl & I absolutely hate shoes especially when I'm home or outside in the thick grass, however #1 always make sure I wash or at least wipe down my feet so they aren't dirty and #2 you would never catch me in a public area without shoes on!  Her feet were black from parking lot crap and then to be running around the hallways of the church with those same dirty feet was downright disrespectful.

[cereality]

For some reason I was thinking about the (alleged) root beer floats today.  That was an absolutely terrible idea, in my opinion. Seriously, there was very little ice cream in the plastic cups, and they covered that with room-temperature root beer. You could see the hundreds of 2-liters of root beer stacked up in the kitchen so there was no question it wasn't cold. Then they put the "floats" on trays and served them outside in the sun.  By the time the guests got them, the ice cream was certainly completely melted into the lukewarm root beer.

 

Bottom line -- what they served were not root beer floats. What the guests ended up with was warm "cream of root beer".  Yuck.

Any maybe it's just me, but things like ice cream for 1000-3000 guests make me nervous especially when they aren't being handled by actual caterers, since they go bad pretty fast but it isn't always obvious. I mean in the first go round when the ice cream melted, I think the "wedding planner," was looking to see if she could just get it to re-freeze. You're really not ever supposed to do that, and certainly not for food that you will be feeding to a 1000 guests. I mean if you lose power in your home during a storm, I think one of the ways you tell whether things in freezer need to be discarded is if the ice cream or ice is now liquid.

 

Then when she realized it couldn't re-freeze and had it scooped again -- fine. However as a guest, when it's coming to you melted, you have to wonder how long it's been out of the freezer and how long it's been out in the hot sun. I was kind of thinking that for the cake/sheet cakes as well. I feel like at that type of wedding, unless I grabbed a piece of cake right as it was being walked out of the building, I'd just stick with a cookie or a rice krispy treat rather than wondering how long ice cream or buttercream frosting can be outside in the hot Arkansas sun.

[cereality]

I like Dan and really think he just isn't into the whole Duggar experience but my son said " what's with THAT guy? He has about as much charisma as a school bus fire." That made me giggle.

I think Dan is probably a witty guy with his friends and family. Sometimes sarcasm can come across rude esp when it comes from someone whose personality you don't know. Add to that that he clearly doesn't dig the Duggars and seemed really stressed about his mom and was probably also thinking about his dad at such a big occasion for his family -- he handled it and held it together as best he could.

 

Was the open house at the Duggar home only for the Duggar side? Were Derick and Jill there or was this the "after party" and they were off getting busy by then? In any event, I imagine Dan was invited since he was a groomsmen and likely the only member of his family who was available. I sincerely hope he bailed or stopped by for 30 min and then headed out with the other groomsmen to the closest bar where they could grab a few burgers and beers (if they drink) and talk about whatever it is that 20-something yr old males talk about -- probably whatever girls at the wedding were cute; can you believe Derick is freaking married -- I am so not ready; sports; how much it'll suck to have to go back to work Monday etc. It would be nice if JD and Joseph could have gone along to partake in this kind of regular "guy" conversation to see what it's like to hang out with non-fundie men who have regular lives and jobs, but alas I'm sure they were at the compound listening to JB talk about how both of them need to find Godly women and start multiplying soon.

[Micks Picks]

I guess for me it simply comes across as a clear lack of respect by the bride for her guests.  And that is unforgivable..

Edited November 1, 2014 by Micks Picks

[NausetGirl]

Any maybe it's just me, but things like ice cream for 1000-3000 guests make me nervous especially when they aren't being handled by actual caterers, since they go bad pretty fast but it isn't always obvious. I mean in the first go round when the ice cream melted, I think the "wedding planner," was looking to see if she could just get it to re-freeze. You're really not ever supposed to do that, and certainly not for food that you will be feeding to a 1000 guests. I mean if you lose power in your home during a storm, I think one of the ways you tell whether things in freezer need to be discarded is if the ice cream or ice is now liquid.

 

Then when she realized it couldn't re-freeze and had it scooped again -- fine. However as a guest, when it's coming to you melted, you have to wonder how long it's been out of the freezer and how long it's been out in the hot sun. I was kind of thinking that for the cake/sheet cakes as well. I feel like at that type of wedding, unless I grabbed a piece of cake right as it was being walked out of the building, I'd just stick with a cookie or a rice krispy treat rather than wondering how long ice cream or buttercream frosting can be outside in the hot Arkansas sun.

 

After so many comments about the yucky food and the conditions under which it was "handled" I'm beginning to think there were some king-size trash bins and a lot of waste at this wedding.  Will be interesting to see what's served at Jessa's - since all the waste, not to mention the blown $$ - will no doubt ratchet up Boob's pursestrings even tighter.  Jessa will probably have lemonade and those little cheese crackers-with-peanut-butter sandwiched in between, the kind that come six to a cellophane package in a vending machine.

Edited November 1, 2014 by NausetGirl

[RandomX]

We know Jessa doesn't like root beer, so that's ruled out.

[duggarshow]

I'm sure this wasn't meant to be offensive to anyone here, but I think making fun of the stance someone takes during prayer or worship crosses a line. In my church we don't cross ourselves or kneel, but I think it would be really disrespectful for me to say that people who do that look silly or creepy.

 

This definitely crosses the line. Ugh.

[floridamom]

Yes, I too, notice Joy's filthy bare feet. I kept imagining those dirty soles in her "wedding sandals" absolutely ruining those shoes too with the dirt imbedded in them. I also was appalled at Jill's bare, filthy feet. Can't believe how she walked around outside without any shoes on either...Also, shaving Derick in the bridal room, not a bathroom, over a sink was not hygienic or considerate of the church facility. Where did that hair go? On the floor in that room. I'm sure the next person to utilize the space appreciated that very much. They just don't seem to be clean people..I wonder if ALL those kids got baths and showers before the wedding. With the older girls in a hotel, (I think so they could shave their legs and shower themselves) I doubt if the younger kids were bathed by Michelle and/or Jim Bob or at all....

Michelle's shiny face in one one of those photos showed just how profusely she was sweating in that aluminum foil get up...

I would have liked for Derick's family to have been shown and captioned as to who they were to him...ie, aunt, cousin, grandma, etc? even for just a moment...

Anyone notice Michelle had a different necklace on before the ceremony and when shown leaving the church and after, she had that baubbly one on?

I don't know why Josh was dressed as a groomsman, but wasn't one..just doesn't make sense in the real world. Those colors and outfits are reserved for the bridal party, folks, right?

I think those "sheet cakes" were all different ones that WalMart pre-prepares and were ordered from different facilities...can't believe how cheap that is, especially with that yucky cheap buttercream they use...I thought the wedding cake pieces served were supposed to be the same as the wedding cake itself, frosting, filling and flavor..just not much taste, class or sense shown here, to me.

Jill is quite the vixen...I noticed how she licked Derick's fingers..who told her about that? Quite sexual and inappropriate for a wedding with you family present, also she flung her head back before the ceremony and said to her father that maybe she and Derick would "outdo them" child wise...not so modest. I think she spoon fed them compliance to be on their good sides and is quite bossy, controlling and a hot pot set on simmer until marriage...she couldn't wait to jump Derick's bones,, IMO, maybe she more than HE..

[Fuzzysox]

Boob and MEchelle gave $10,000 to political campaigns no wonder Jill's wedding was shabby CHEAP. 

[msblossom]

Yes, I too, notice Joy's filthy bare feet. I kept imagining those dirty soles in her "wedding sandals" absolutely ruining those shoes too with the dirt imbedded in them. I also was appalled at Jill's bare, filthy feet. Can't believe how she walked around outside without any shoes on either...Also, shaving Derick in the bridal room, not a bathroom, over a sink was not hygienic or considerate of the church facility. Where did that hair go? On the floor in that room. I'm sure the next person to utilize the space appreciated that very much. They just don't seem to be clean people..I wonder if ALL those kids got baths and showers before the wedding. With the older girls in a hotel, (I think so they could shave their legs and shower themselves) I doubt if the younger kids were bathed by Michelle and/or Jim Bob or at all....

Michelle's shiny face in one one of those photos showed just how profusely she was sweating in that aluminum foil get up...

I would have liked for Derick's family to have been shown and captioned as to who they were to him...ie, aunt, cousin, grandma, etc? even for just a moment...

Anyone notice Michelle had a different necklace on before the ceremony and when shown leaving the church and after, she had that baubbly one on?

I don't know why Josh was dressed as a groomsman, but wasn't one..just doesn't make sense in the real world. Those colors and outfits are reserved for the bridal party, folks, right?

I think those "sheet cakes" were all different ones that WalMart pre-prepares and were ordered from different facilities...can't believe how cheap that is, especially with that yucky cheap buttercream they use...I thought the wedding cake pieces served were supposed to be the same as the wedding cake itself, frosting, filling and flavor..just not much taste, class or sense shown here, to me.

Jill is quite the vixen...I noticed how she licked Derick's fingers..who told her about that? Quite sexual and inappropriate for a wedding with you family present, also she flung her head back before the ceremony and said to her father that maybe she and Derick would "outdo them" child wise...not so modest. I think she spoon fed them compliance to be on their good sides and is quite bossy, controlling and a hot pot set on simmer until marriage...she couldn't wait to jump Derick's bones,, IMO, maybe she more than HE..

Your entire post is quite bombastic. I don't know if you're being serious or just funny -- but you had me in stitches at Jill "is quite the vixen" and "flung her head back". And then the bit about being a " hot pot on simmer until marriage and couldn't wait to hump his bones" perhaps more than Derick -- was just hysterical! You should be writing recaps, seriously.

[Barb23]

Floridamom- maybe Jill learned how to lick Derick's fingers in the Waiting for Prince Charming book by the Maxwell gal. As usual, loved your post.

[nccueagle84]

I don't know why Josh was dressed as a groomsman, but wasn't one..just doesn't make sense in the real world. Those colors and outfits are reserved for the bridal party, folks, right?

Josh was supposed to be an usher but he looks like he sucked at his job.

[Jellybeans]

My b/f said "that Jill's so ready!" when he saw Jill licking Derricks fingers. He thought it sexy. I have NEVER licked his, so I guess he is missing out on something. LOL.

[leighroda]

i think I may be in the minority, but I do not like that they spent the day together before the wedding. It's not that I'm super traditional or anything (if I ever get married I plan to elope) I'm actually ok with seeing eachother... But in this case it didn't come off to me as a "sweet" I want to spend time with him sort of thing, but more as a codependent I don't know what to do if I'm not with him sort of thing. I feel like maybe the devotional or something was fine, but it felt like she had to incorporate Derrick into every waking moment of getting ready.

[Jellybeans]

Josh was supposed to be an usher but he looks like he sucked at his job.

Where did you see that?

[skittle223]

Adeejay, I'm originally from Boston and if you ever did a cash bar at a wedding up here, you'd be shit-talked for eternity.

It's interesting reading about how they do things in different places. I'm from Canada and I've only been to weddings in Saskatchewan but I've only been to one that wasn't a cash bar and that was a small backyard reception with only family and close friends. Every other wedding has had a toonie bar (two dollar bar).

[floridamom]

Thanks, Barb23 and msblossom.....I appreciate that some of my thoughts and commentary are actually read out there by you all! I enjoy reading all of your comments immensely. I'm just an older lady, (well, older than Jill's parents) who, I believe was brought up with common sense as paramount topped with a side of "God fearing"...you  know, "real balance".

[MarysWetBar]

I'm in Canada too and my personal experience has been that Italians and Ukrainians foot the bill for free booze at formal weddings.When i got married back in the eighties my family paid for dinner hall and flowers etc and grooms family paid for the booze.

[NausetGirl]

I'm as Southern as Southern can be (Bama), and am hosting a wedding/reception (150 guests) with a sit-down dinner, live band, cocktail hour, etc etc for my daughter in December.  Frankly, I haven't been to many of the afternoon, cake and punch type weddings, even down here.

 

There really was so much WTFery in this wedding/special, but overall, I thought it was sweet.  But then again, I'm a sucker for weddings.  LOL. 

 

I thought the little ones were adorable, and Jackson(? or was it Jason?) running notes back and forth was cracking me up.  He's like, "enough already"!

 

Hmmmm. Hearing this makes me wonder maybe cheapo weddings are more a fundie thing and NOT a Southern thing. As I said, it could just be a stereotype but I always thought Southern entertaining - of any kind - meant mass quantities of the finest-quality food and drink the hosts could afford, along with an all-encompassing vibe of welcoming "we can't do enough for you..." friendliness. 

Floridamom- maybe Jill learned how to lick Derick's fingers in the Waiting for Prince Charming book by the Maxwell gal. As usual, loved your post.

 

I truly believe the Duggar kids have access to much more than we - and more importantly Boob and Mechelle - have any idea!  It's just so easy with the Internet.

[Higgins]

Also Jill's "Derick and I" when it should have been "me." But what can you expect with her lack of education?

This happens with educated people also.

[MarysWetBar]

Floridamom- maybe Jill learned how to lick Derick's fingers in the Waiting for Prince Charming book by the Maxwell gal. As usual, loved your post.

I think their mother already told them in a precious way that a b.j.a day keeps their fundie mealticket from goin astray... lol

[Higgins]

Hmmmm. Hearing this makes me wonder maybe cheapo weddings are more a fundie thing and NOT a Southern thing. As I said, it could just be a stereotype but I always thought Southern entertaining - of any kind - meant mass quantities of the finest-quality food and drink the hosts could afford, along with an all-encompassing vibe of welcoming "we can't do enough for you..." friendliness. 

 

I truly believe the Duggar kids have access to much more than we - and more importantly Boob and Mechelle - have any idea!  It's just so easy with the Internet.

My friend was married 25 years ago in a Fundie wedding and I had never experienced anything like it. It was cake and coffee and soda with no music. I thought it was the strangest thing ever at the time.

[andromeda331]

I would have liked for Derick's family to have been shown and captioned as to who they were to him...ie, aunt, cousin, grandma, etc? even for just a moment...

 

 

That would have been nice. I like his relationship with his mom. It would have been nice meet more of his family. Does he have cousins, aunts and uncles? Does he have his grandparents still living and if so are they his mom's parents or dad's. It would have been nice to hear more about his friends. I mean he picked them for his groomsmen how long have they been friends? Did they meet in college or childhood friends? 

[Jynnan tonnix]

I think their mother already told them in a precious way that a b.j.a day keeps their fundie mealticket from goin astray... lol

 

As long as no sperm is wasted in the process, no doubt.

[NausetGirl]

That would have been nice. I like his relationship with his mom. It would have been nice meet more of his family. Does he have cousins, aunts and uncles? Does he have his grandparents still living and if so are they his mom's parents or dad's. It would have been nice to hear more about his friends. I mean he picked them for his groomsmen how long have they been friends? Did they meet in college or childhood friends? 

 

Very true. There was a LOT more TLC could have filmed and aired.  It goes to show - again - how poor the producers on this particular show are. Unless every single Dillard friend or relation shut them down tight.  And I rather doubt that happened. Odds are even a few of them would have been OK with saying a very nice things about Derick etc.

[springtime]

 

I don't know why Josh was dressed as a groomsman, but wasn't one..just doesn't make sense in the real world. Those colors and outfits are reserved for the bridal party, folks, right?

Families are weird-

My children were not in their uncle's wedding-

My former SIL wanted my daughter to have the same dress as her daughter (who was a flower girl)

and she wanted my son to wear the same short outfit her boys were wearing.

I did not go along with the plan as I didn't want The Von Trapp Family look!

Maybe Josh wasn't able to speak up and rebel like I did!

Edited November 1, 2014 by springtime

[nccueagle84]

.

Where did you see that?

In the episode called wedding countdown when Jill was picking up Josh and Anna's family from the airport she said that their family would have various roles in the wedding and that Josh would help out as an usher.

[Ljohnson1987]

Dan and Jana would be a cute couple. 

[cmr2014]

 

That would have been nice. I like his relationship with his mom. It would have been nice meet more of his family. Does he have cousins, aunts and uncles? Does he have his grandparents still living and if so are they his mom's parents or dad's. It would have been nice to hear more about his friends. I mean he picked them for his groomsmen how long have they been friends? Did they meet in college or childhood friends?

 

I wonder if this has to do with money. I know that for most television shows, people have to be paid if they speak on camera (there may be different rules for reality shows).

 

It's also possible that they were uncomfortable being on camera. I love my family, but if any of my relatives decided to marry into this (or any other reality TV family), I wouldn't agree to be filmed.

 

 

 

[Jellybeans]

.

In the episode called wedding countdown when Jill was picking up Josh and Anna's family from the airport she said that their family would have various roles in the wedding and that Josh would help out as an usher.

Thanks!

[Barb23]

.

In the episode called wedding countdown when Jill was picking up Josh and Anna's family from the airport she said that their family would have various roles in the wedding and that Josh would help out as an usher.

I know Jill said this but I thought I read or heard somewhere back in June that Jill or maybe Anna said Josh would be "Master of Ceromonies". Can't these people get their stories straight?

I'm in Duggar wedding mode today & am rewatching the circus again. A previous poster said Jill cut off Grandma Duggar when she was giving her a piece of a family handkerchief heirloom. Was this shown in this episode? Where? I've watched it a couple of times & can't find it. It sounded so nice on Grandma's part & I don't doubt Jill cut her off. I would really like to see it.

When Sierra was rounding up the volunteers when they signed up for their "jurisdictions", why couldn't have Jill been there in person thanking everyone herself? Sierra sounded like she was Jill's manager/press agent. "Jill can't believe so many volunteered to help & wants to thank you....blah blah blah..."

One more observation about the bare feet. Jill had on thong type sandals running around doing her wedding prep. Why didn't she just leave those on? She made the comment to Boob about having to break in new shoes that aren't comfortable. I wore low heeled slip on pumps at my wedding that I wore around the house for days to break them in. I knew I would have them on all day so I wanted to be comfortable. I guess these girls would never think to do that ahead of time.

One more comment about Derick's family & friends. I'm sure some or even all of them didn't want to be on TV. But I'm sure one of his buddies would have said something. They could have had Derick, by himself, on a TH saying it was nice that my Aunt Mary & uncle Bob could share in our day or my Grandma came all the way from....., etc. Just something a little personal from his side. But since they didn't give Amy, Deanna or the Bates any airtime (even just mentioning they were there) what did we expect?

[Barb23]

Couple more observations: I heard MEchelle's screech/ "awww" in the background when they were outside & Derick said he married the most wonderful girl in the world. You just can't get away from that woman!

I noticed that besides Joy it looked like one of the ushers passed out the root beer floats. Couldn't Sierra have wrangled up someone besides the wedding party to pass those gross things out?

Loved Mac & Michael going back & forth about what type of cake they had.

[floridamom]

Oh now, MarysWetBar, I LOVE IT! I never thought of that, and I think I'm glad....until now...pass the brain bleach as that mental picture has got to be washed OUT....

[Missy Vixen]

How in the world does what they had - even if they'd paid for every last item - add up to $200K? It must have been Boob himself who provided that figure...

 

 

I would like to see Jim Boob's receipts. He is LYING. Didn't he claim last week that one could have a "lovely wedding" on "surprisingly little money"? He's expecting the viewers to believe they spent $200 per guest on that wedding? They don't live in a coastal state, they did not serve a sit-down dinner or alcohol to their guests... Here we go, ladies and gentlemen!

    Photography: Comped due to publicity and the family most likely got copies of everything People took as well as part of the deal.

    Invitations: Let's be generous -- $500. If they were done at Costco's print shop, perhaps less. Envelopes would be included in the order. We'll throw in $250 for postage. It remains unknown how many of those invitations were actually mailed; most fundies simply put an invitation on the bulletin board at church and call it good.

    Jill's dress and accessories -- FREE. The bridal shop was named on-air, their signage was shown on-air, and she's not paying one red cent for a dress after that.

    Bridesmaid dresses: Thanks to Jana, less than $500. Shoes were free. (Sponsor comp!) If they paid for the "test hairdo" salon, I'd be shocked.

    Michelle's dress: Maybe $100

    Jim Boob's suit: Maybe $100

    Suits for the rest of the Duggars: Less than $1000, if they weren't free. (Does Jim Boob believe that we don't realize he probably called up Men's Wearhouse or something and got a huge deal?) Fabric and notions for ties: $100

    Flowers: I'm guessing less than $1000. She didn't have wall-to-wall roses. She didn't have centerpieces. There were very few flowers in the church.

    Church rental: They didn't pay a red cent for that. Seriously. If they did, I'd be floored. I'm guessing they also didn't pay people like Erin Paine. The pastor's honorarium is usually $100-150.

    Wedding coordinator: $1000. Maybe.

    Janitorial staff: An offering. Jim Boob's cheap, so I'm guessing less than $250.

    Jill and her sisters stayed in a hotel the night before. Let's be generous. $200

    Cake for the reception: Jim Boob seems to forget that the rest of the world knows one can get a half sheet cake at Costco for less than $25 that will feed 48 nicely. The teeny pieces that were being handed out meant they got 100 pieces out of each half-sheet, so let's do the math. I'm estimating $750 for cake.

    $200 for cake mixes/frosting/cookie ingredients

    $50 for pickles

    $50 for popcorn machine

    less than $200 for paper products, cups for "root beer floats" and powdered lemonade

    $200 for generic root beer and generic ice cream

    I estimate less than $1500 for that train wreck of a reception, since they decorated NOTHING and the lopsided "love cake" was most likely donated by the woman who's hoping others will want to get their cake "where Jill Duggar got hers".

    The getaway truck was donated.

    Extra security might have been a couple thousand dollars. I'm sure People and TLC absorbed that cost to protect their investment.

    So, in other words, Jim Bob Duggar is expecting us all to believe that he spent in excess of $100,000 for the "home" reception? What were they serving? Filet mignon? I'll bet it was barbecue or some other large-scale food like lasagnas or casserole (TTC, anyone?) I'm betting the reception at home was less than $3K because they have their own soda machine and they most likely brought home lemonade and generic root beer...

 

My grand total, and I'll throw in $1000 for incidentals that crop up at the last minute... $6600.00.

Go ahead, Jim Boob. Show your receipts, cheapskate.

[NikSac]

Very true. There was a LOT more TLC could have filmed and aired.  It goes to show - again - how poor the producers on this particular show are. Unless every single Dillard friend or relation shut them down tight.  And I rather doubt that happened. Odds are even a few of them would have been OK with saying a very nice things about Derick etc.

 

Good point... why no nice comments about Derick? I mean even if they were going 100% plain vanilla they could've aired some nice comments about him.

[NikSac]

One thing I HATE about them is that they say whenever when they should be saying when. I noticed that it's not just the Duggars, Derrick and the pastor also said it in this episode. Must be a regional thing.

 

I somehow feel less alone after reading this. I thought I was the only one who was driven crazy by the "whenever."  It's not just a Duggar thing - I've heard it on all kinds of different shows - but it's still irritating!

[GEML]

Josh walked Michelle down the aisle and did seem to be doing a Master of Ceremonies by announcing the Cake Cutting and things like that.

I imagine they didn't have anyone on camera because they didn't want to pay anyone else. I wonder, since it's a "Wedding Special" and didn't have a traditional Michelle into if the money goes into the Trust as normally or if this was technically sort of like Jill and Derrick's show and the bulk of the money came to them?

[NikSac]

I wondered if they ever visited Cathy at home or in the hospital I don't think I ever heard if JimBob and/or Michelle did that. If my future son-in-law's mother had cancer, I would visit her and fairly often. It would be strange to me not but then in my family that would be considered normal. My grandparents always visited each other if one was in hospital, when my mother was in the hospital a few times my sister-in-law's mother always dropped into visit. 

 

Back to whether or not they should have postponed the wedding. I just really think it would have been nice if Jill had asked Derick. Even if he was fine with it and wanted to go forward. Even if Cathy was fine and wanted it to go one, if she didn't want it postpone on her account. I have no problem with them going on with the ceremony, but when they found out at the rehearsal that she wasn't able to make it for the dinner and wasn't sure if she'd make it to the ceremony the next day, I just think it would have been really nice to if Jill asked then if he wanted to go ahead with the ceremony. Or wait until the morning to see. It just seems really odd that after hearing that kind of news you wouldn't suggested or offer to postpone the wedding. Or even just asking if he was still okay with going on with the it. If he was, then great no problem with them going on with the wedding. But its just seems odd to me that it never came up. While I know Michelle and JimBob don't have normal reactions, it was so weird JimBob was telling Michelle that it never came. If it was my parents they'd be wondering if we should postpone the wedding and giving all kinds of assurances if we chose to go that route or to go ahead with the ceremony. 

 

I wonder if she did ask and it just wasn't televised. She seems like a kind-hearted person, so I'm betting she asked. Either that or maybe they were both totally overwhelmed with the planning for 1000+ guests... maybe that's why they ran away. "We're married now let's get the <bleep> outta here!"

(edited to fix typos)

Edited November 2, 2014 by NikSac

[xls]

 

One more comment about Derick's family & friends. I'm sure some or even all of them didn't want to be on TV. But I'm sure one of his buddies would have said something. They could have had Derick, by himself, on a TH saying it was nice that my Aunt Mary & uncle Bob could share in our day or my Grandma came all the way from....., etc. Just something a little personal from his side. But since they didn't give Amy, Deanna or the Bates any airtime (even just mentioning they were there) what did we expect?

I found that kind of odd too, that they were not even shown in the audience with their name on screen. I did see Ben's sister the one everyone calls Lorde, though

Edited November 2, 2014 by xls

[TobyBelle]

I just finished watching the wedding, and I must be a sentimental fool because I enjoyed it. I actually read all the posts first so I spoiled it for myself (I couldn't help myself), but some of what some posters had issues with, I didn't see the same thing. An example is Jill constantly interrupting Derrick. I didn't see that at all.

I was getting tired of JB's emotions and going on and on about giving her away, but then I forgave him as he was giving her away because he was beaming. Then when he sat down, he was wiping his eyes. He truly loves her.

I also really enjoyed the the first look scene. It was really touching. I liked when he was hugging her and then said he didn't want to mess up her hair, but Jill said, "You're fine". Now this is a question I do have because of that scene. I was expecting him to kiss the top of her head and I can't imagine not getting a peck in like that or on the back of the hand now and the entire time they've been courting. So when they talk about first kiss, do they mean only on the lips or any at all? The first kiss did look awkward, but the kisses they had afterwards looked normal. Not that awkward, gross way like David Waller after his first smooch. Boy, you could tell he had a lot to learn. Derick and Jill's kisses looked so normal to me that when Anna was talking about it, I thought she was going to say, "After that first kiss....I could tell that it really wasn't!", instead of what she really said which was to expect cousins soon.

By the end of the episode, I wanted to slap Jessa. It seemed like she had been getting more ornery and stuck up after each week. Before it was refreshing to see that she seemed like she was breaking away from Duggarism and speaking her mind, but now it's downright rude. Stop throwing a wet blanket over everything.

[Almost 3000]

You only have to pay if the person is union and than

Josh walked Michelle down the aisle and did seem to be doing a Master of Ceremonies by announcing the Cake Cutting and things like that.

I imagine they didn't have anyone on camera because they didn't want to pay anyone else. I wonder, since it's a "Wedding Special" and didn't have a traditional Michelle into if the money goes into the Trust as normally or if this was technically sort of like Jill and Derrick's show and the bulk of the money came to them?

You have to be union to be paid or negotiate it if not for something like reality TV. I had a neighbor just get some money for an exercise promo on a news type show but she would have gotten nothing if she wouldn't have asked.  I think if its a personal interview for a union actor production could get away with not paying too. Just because you're union doesn't mean you're paid for every word out of your mouth if it falls into certain categories like reality, news, talk show. Maybe to many people wanted to be paid for their interviews who knows. I really thought not having little talking heads from the wedding party and more from the family other than JB, Michelle and Smuggar left the episode feeling sort of flat.

[Darknight]

I would like to see Jim Boob's receipts. He is LYING. Didn't he claim last week that one could have a "lovely wedding" on "surprisingly little money"? He's expecting the viewers to believe they spent $200 per guest on that wedding? They don't live in a coastal state, they did not serve a sit-down dinner or alcohol to their guests... Here we go, ladies and gentlemen!

Photography: Comped due to publicity and the family most likely got copies of everything People took as well as part of the deal.

Invitations: Let's be generous -- $500. If they were done at Costco's print shop, perhaps less. Envelopes would be included in the order. We'll throw in $250 for postage. It remains unknown how many of those invitations were actually mailed; most fundies simply put an invitation on the bulletin board at church and call it good.

Jill's dress and accessories -- FREE. The bridal shop was named on-air, their signage was shown on-air, and she's not paying one red cent for a dress after that.

Bridesmaid dresses: Thanks to Jana, less than $500. Shoes were free. (Sponsor comp!) If they paid for the "test hairdo" salon, I'd be shocked.

Michelle's dress: Maybe $100

Jim Boob's suit: Maybe $100

Suits for the rest of the Duggars: Less than $1000, if they weren't free. (Does Jim Boob believe that we don't realize he probably called up Men's Wearhouse or something and got a huge deal?) Fabric and notions for ties: $100

Flowers: I'm guessing less than $1000. She didn't have wall-to-wall roses. She didn't have centerpieces. There were very few flowers in the church.

Church rental: They didn't pay a red cent for that. Seriously. If they did, I'd be floored. I'm guessing they also didn't pay people like Erin Paine. The pastor's honorarium is usually $100-150.

Wedding coordinator: $1000. Maybe.

Janitorial staff: An offering. Jim Boob's cheap, so I'm guessing less than $250.

Jill and her sisters stayed in a hotel the night before. Let's be generous. $200

Cake for the reception: Jim Boob seems to forget that the rest of the world knows one can get a half sheet cake at Costco for less than $25 that will feed 48 nicely. The teeny pieces that were being handed out meant they got 100 pieces out of each half-sheet, so let's do the math. I'm estimating $750 for cake.

$200 for cake mixes/frosting/cookie ingredients

$50 for pickles

$50 for popcorn machine

less than $200 for paper products, cups for "root beer floats" and powdered lemonade

$200 for generic root beer and generic ice cream

I estimate less than $1500 for that train wreck of a reception, since they decorated NOTHING and the lopsided "love cake" was most likely donated by the woman who's hoping others will want to get their cake "where Jill Duggar got hers".

The getaway truck was donated.

Extra security might have been a couple thousand dollars. I'm sure People and TLC absorbed that cost to protect their investment.

So, in other words, Jim Bob Duggar is expecting us all to believe that he spent in excess of $100,000 for the "home" reception? What were they serving? Filet mignon? I'll bet it was barbecue or some other large-scale food like lasagnas or casserole (TTC, anyone?) I'm betting the reception at home was less than $3K because they have their own soda machine and they most likely brought home lemonade and generic root beer...

My grand total, and I'll throw in $1000 for incidentals that crop up at the last minute... $6600.00.

Go ahead, Jim Boob. Show your receipts, cheapskate.

Good math.

[PlanetSassy]

To whomever put those balloons in the cab of the truck; that was a really stupid idea.

So, all the guests had to stand out in the hot sun for the reception, and they only got cake and crappy rootbeer floats to eat!?

I didn't think J'chelle's dress was that I'll fitting. I just thought it was fugly, especially on her hunched over body.

Anna creeps me out more & more. And God help any Dugger spawn who may have fertility problems.

I chuckled when Jill attempted to explain the reason for saving their first kiss. She said it was a "testament", but of what? She obviously didn't know they actually did it.

[floridamom]

Excellent, Darknight, but the popcorn machine belongs to the Duggars....so deduct that one.

[GEML]

You only have to pay if the person is union and than

You have to be union to be paid or negotiate it if not for something like reality TV. I had a neighbor just get some money for an exercise promo on a news type show but she would have gotten nothing if she wouldn't have asked. I think if its a personal interview for a union actor production could get away with not paying too. Just because you're union doesn't mean you're paid for every word out of your mouth if it falls into certain categories like reality, news, talk show. Maybe to many people wanted to be paid for their interviews who knows. I really thought not having little talking heads from the wedding party and more from the family other than JB, Michelle and Smuggar left the episode feeling sort of flat.

I agree. I've actually done some television stuff, so I have a decent idea of what is paid for, and I imagine that the family was making sure any payments were staying within the family. Which made the special less appealing. On the other hand, I'm betting they probably had a good but if creative control over this -ratings leading up to this were high and it was clear ratings would be (and were) strong. We've talked about some shows that seemed to poke fun at them, and I'm betting this was one time the family said none of that. Which might be another reason so few people were interviewed. Let's face it - lots of people think they can speak in front of a camera, but most can't. Poking fun of the Duggar guests wouldn't have been kind, even if they had asked to be on camera to share their own particular weirdness.

Edited November 2, 2014 by GEML