S09.E13: Jill's Wedding

[truthtalk2014]

Unless I'm a local friend of the Duggars, then I'm just sending a gift and card in the mail. As a guest I'd have to get myself there, get a hotel room, sit through the circus, and like a circus, have popcorn and floats. Nah. I'd rather send the set of towels or whatever was on the registry, and get on with my life. Surely these thousand guests are mostly local Looky Lous who go to Cross Church.

I don't get why Amy wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid rather than Hannie. Maybe Jill's kool aid drinking ways have her relationship with Amy at a distance. I wonder if Jennifer Hartono was ever considered? Why Anna, or why not a Bates? I thought they were "suuuch good friends."

Yea, Jill has referred to Erin as her best friend.  lol

[Literata]

 

I don't get why Amy wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid rather than Hannie.

I don't think there's much to that; there are so many sisters, and I imagine they will automatically take precedence in all the weddings. 

[Betweenyouandme]

Yes, Ruark is Irish. And can anyone forget her proclaiming in a rusky voice, "everybody loves an Irish girl!" on St. Paddy's when they had the all green breakfast that year?

[HeyNow]

Re: the dress Amy wore to the wedding.  Bare shoulders!  Did she cover them up when she sang?  If not, how do they explain this  (I think she looked really lovely, by the way).

[ChicksDigScars]

Why Anna, or why not a Bates? I thought they were "suuuch good friends."

 

I was noticing, throughout the entire episode, the lack of Bates comments and sightings, aside from an occasionally shot of Erin playing the piano at the ceremony. I actually thought that was evidence of a falling out or a rift between the families. But, now I wonder if it's a contractual thing, The Bates got their own show on the Up Network (is that a Christian network?), not TLC, so maybe they weren't ALLOWED to be shown on a competing network. 

 

I mean, they could have replaced the 75 talking heads of JB and Mullet waxing poetic about Jilly Muffin being all grown up, or Jill herself saying, "Three hours until I'm married...." "Two hours until I'm married...." "In ONE hour, I'll be Mrs. Derick Dillard!" It was all so dragged out and repetitive. Some comments from Amy or the Bates would have broken up the monotony.  But, if the Up Network put the kibosh on "their" family appearing on TLC, then it makes sense, I guess. 

[Jellybeans]

I take it nobody enjoyed the wedding? LOL!

[joanofarch4]

I don't think there's much to that; there are so many sisters, and I imagine they will automatically take precedence in all the weddings. 

I would say it's because Amy already had a prominent role (it turns out) as vocalist.  Now why that wasn't shown is the next mystery!

[Fuzzysox]

Kelly wore the dress 100 x better then MEchelle who probably go the dress as a long dress had one or two layers on the bottom got cut off one because she is short and the other to create her turtle neck effect neckline.

 

Still a butt ugly dress.

Wedding was still cheap, cheap, cheap

Hated the bridesmaid dresses and shoes

Amy shined and was gorgeous

 

^^^^^Help me I keep saying the same thing over and over The Duggars have been rotting my brain. Gotta s.t.o.p. watching.

[truthtalk2014]

Posting this link to see the photo of the cookies and sloppy rice krispy treats on baking pans from Sams Club.  

 

They divided and conquered by making 3,000 servings of cake “brought in from across the nation,” 2,000 cupcakes, 3,000 cookies made at the Duggars’ home, 3,000 root beer floats and a big mix of salty snacks — including the Duggars’ beloved pickles!

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/279989

 

I can handle the barefoot and other bs but now I understand why they didn't do any coverage of the reception.  Because it was pathetic.

 

If the Duggars cooked all the cookies, I am curious how many days before they were prepared.  Saving money is one thing, but this is beyond crazy cheap and insulting to people you ask to buy you four vacuums. 

[Darknight]

Posting this link to see the photo of the cookies and sloppy rice krispy treats on baking pans from Sams Club.

They divided and conquered by making 3,000 servings of cake “brought in from across the nation,” 2,000 cupcakes, 3,000 cookies made at the Duggars’ home, 3,000 root beer floats and a big mix of salty snacks — including the Duggars’ beloved pickles!

http://starcasm.net/archives/279989

I can handle the barefoot and other bs but now I understand why they didn't do any coverage of the reception. Because it was pathetic.

If the Duggars cooked all the cookies, I am curious how many days before they were prepared. Saving money is one thing, but this is beyond crazy cheap and insulting to people you ask to buy you four vacuums.

Can this wedding get any cheaper. Pickled come on Edited October 30, 2014 by Darknight

[Jellybeans]

Saving money is one thing, but this is beyond crazy cheap and insulting to people you ask to buy you four vacuums.

I believe the four vacuums came from my post when I was talking about Jill's registry but I was referring to a FRIEND of mine who asked for the four vacuum cleaners in attempt to give her guests a "choice".

It was not Jill who asked for four vacuum cleaners.

[Joe Jitsu913]

Posting this link to see the photo of the cookies and sloppy rice krispy treats on baking pans from Sams Club.

They divided and conquered by making 3,000 servings of cake “brought in from across the nation,” 2,000 cupcakes, 3,000 cookies made at the Duggars’ home, 3,000 root beer floats and a big mix of salty snacks — including the Duggars’ beloved pickles!

http://starcasm.net/archives/279989

I can handle the barefoot and other bs but now I understand why they didn't do any coverage of the reception. Because it was pathetic.

If the Duggars cooked all the cookies, I am curious how many days before they were prepared. Saving money is one thing, but this is beyond crazy cheap and insulting to people you ask to buy you four vacuums.

OMG. That picture of the rice krispie treats on top of a beautiful bed of baby's breath is just so gauche and laughable.

I have been to some tacky and cheap weddings, but that is some seriously tacky, low brow shit.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[abseedee]

If the Duggars cooked all the cookies, I am curious how many days before they were prepared.  Saving money is one thing, but this is beyond crazy cheap and insulting to people you ask to buy you four vacuums. 

Wow, did Jill and Derick ask for four vacuums? 

 

eta:  nvm, didn't read jellybeans post above that it wasn't jill that asked for the four vacuums.

Edited October 30, 2014 by abseedee

[truthtalk2014]

I believe the four vacuums came from my post when I was talking about Jill's registry but I was referring to a FRIEND of mine who asked for the four vacuum cleaners in attempt to give her guests a "choice".

It was not Jill who asked for four vacuum cleaners.

LOL- sorry.  That stuck with me and I was trying to remember one of the many crazy expensive items on her registry.  

 

I should have said the masses of towels or knife sets or - geez!  There's way too much to remember to make it worth sweet tarts and rice krispy treats served on babies breath.  Wow!

Edited October 30, 2014 by truthtalk2014

[GEML]

Ok, I've now had a chance to see the episode and I'm going to go on the record and say (gasp!) that no one here looked nice, and this is what comes of trying to put together a wedding on such short notice.

Jill's dress needed to be fitted better. The men's suits were of such low quality that they practically shone like mirrors. Michelle's dress WAS a mirror. The bridesmaids dresses looked like they had all been slept in. And even Cathy's dress was inappropriate for a June wedding and it's dark color only made her look all the more like she was dressing for a less than festive event, shall we say. (Perhaps she was, in her mind....)

That was a boring, impersonal service, made for television. It also was filled with guests who were invited to prove they could fill the church. You could tell by the way Jill greeted the guests. Given that we know the number of "real guests" back at the house being about 300 (again, going from estimates from Josiah's party) that means there were probably 250-400 people on the original list that the Duggars wanted to include and another 500 or so that they had to deal with. If you were so foolish as to think you should be included in that 500, and you bought them a set of towels and guzzled down a half melted root beer float so you could say you were there? Well, that says as much about a "guest" as it does the Duggars.

I still don't know if the cake was supposed to look like that or not, but in my house that's called "iced cornbread cake."

[NausetGirl]

Bwahaahahahaaaa Umm MEchelle should  have taken a cue from Grandma and gotten a simple but elegant dress. Deanna looked great, Famy was gorgeous with her updo, and Grandma stood out as being well dressed.

 

I'm wondering if Mechelle got the same dress as Kelly Bates - or borrowed hers - because Boob told her he really liked it. God knows any taste he DOES have is stuck in the 1980s. With apologies to all good country people everywhere, Boob is a hick. A hick that had no experience with the wider world before he found Gothard.  And now he'll only choose Gothard-approved apparel. That dress certainly does qualify in that regard.

Edited October 30, 2014 by NausetGirl

[PityFree]

It's been days and I still can't get the idea of how awful eating pickles and root beer floats at the same event would taste.** And before anyone reminds me, yes, I know that they had lemonade and other snacks, too, and that no one (probably) ate those two items together. But when they were showing them getting the "reception" food ready, pickles, ice cream, and root beer are what they focussed on and my mind keeps putting them together. Part of planning food is pairing foods and beverages that complement each other. Their fancy wedding planner could not even steer them toward cheap food items that would pair better.  

 

**Unless you are pregnant, I suppose. OMG now it all makes sense since the Duggars have probably witnessed a pregnant MEchelle eating repulsive food combos for their entire lives. 

[NausetGirl]

It depends on what your tradition is. I'm a northern Catholic by birth, most of the receptions I went to as a kid were full out - full bar, full meal, money dances, big checks being passed to the couple, etc. Then I moved south and wound up at a Methodist college and believe me, the spread Jill put out for her guests was a veritable feast compared to some of the weddings I've been to here. The afternoon weddings I've been to have cake, punch with 7-up, cookies and those little mints that somebody's Mom makes using candy molds. If you're lucky there may be some peanuts and pretzels. So it may not be YOUR tradition, but it IS the tradition in some places.

 

So now I'm wondering - why such a split in traditions?  Does anyone have any ideas? It'd be interesting to find out. Was the South just poorer in general overall for so long? An agricultural economy that didn't yield an adequate enough income for entertaining? If these "light" receptions are the norm for the South [which was news to me, I'd never heard of before] it certainly rubs against the very iconic tradition of Southern hospitality. The Wilkes barbecue in "Gone With The Wind" has always been the epitome of what I thought Southern hospitality was.  Over-the-top entertaining of guests and visitors at every opportunity.

[Joe Jitsu913]

So now I'm wondering - why such a split in traditions? Does anyone have any ideas? It'd be interesting to find out. Was the South just poorer in general overall for so long? An agricultural economy that didn't yield an adequate enough income for entertaining? If these "light" receptions are the norm for the South [which was news to me, I'd never heard of before] it certainly rubs against the very iconic tradition of Southern hospitality. The Wilkes barbecue in "Gone With The Wind" has always been the epitome of what I thought Southern hospitality was. Over-the-top entertaining of guests and visitors at every opportunity.

As a Southerner who was raised in New England, and still has family in the South... I say a lot of it boils down to economics & culture. In New England, weddings are big celebrations held at nice venues with a big sit down/buffet meal and lots of booze (Mostly Italian / Irish families). This is just my own experience and not representative of all weddings in New England, of course . I'm just trying to give a general idea.

My family in the south usually host receptions in a much more casual atmosphere (rodeo anyone? ) such as a back yard BBQ. The classiest beverage you will find at a backyard reception is Budweiser.Every thing is very casual and "down home". My sister wore jeans!!!! to her own wedding and she is very Southern.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[Diane]

I can't say anything for the South, but most of the weddings that I have been to in Oklahoma have been afternoon weddings.  The serve cake, mints and punch.  They have been all different denominations, I didn't think they were cheap, just smart because I think it is incredibly dumb to spend an outrageous amount of money for a reception.  (that is just my opinion.)  I have only been to a hand full that served a meal. These were all evening weddings.

[Zanzibar]

Jill's dress needed to be fitted better. The men's suits were of such low quality that they practically shone like mirrors. Michelle's dress WAS a mirror. The bridesmaids dresses looked like they had all been slept in. And even Cathy's dress was inappropriate for a June wedding and it's dark color only made her look all the more like she was dressing for a less than festive event, shall we say. (Perhaps she was, in her mind....)

 

I am giving Cathy a whole lot of slack as far as her dress.  Jill and Derick became engaged in late March.  They said that Cathy told her sons she had cancer on Easter, which was April 20 this year, so about three weeks after the engagement happened.  Unless she had already been shopping for her dress before Easter, she was dealing with cancer treatments and trying to find a dress for the wedding at the same time.  I thought she looked lovely and honestly didn't give the color a second thought.

[Jellybeans]

My southern friend had her reception in her parents backyard. Swimming pool, horseshoes, hamburgers, hotdogs, whatever... more fun than the sit down and don't spill your drink ones.

For the record my son ever marries I am gonna tell him to elope.

[Betweenyouandme]

So now I'm wondering - why such a split in traditions? Does anyone have any ideas? It'd be interesting to find out. Was the South just poorer in general overall for so long? An agricultural economy that didn't yield an adequate enough income for entertaining? If these "light" receptions are the norm for the South [which was news to me, I'd never heard of before] it certainly rubs against the very iconic tradition of Southern hospitality. The Wilkes barbecue in "Gone With The Wind" has always been the epitome of what I thought Southern hospitality was. Over-the-top entertaining of guests and visitors at every opportunity.

I don't know. However, my 11am wedding was at a Catholic Church in the mountains of NC on a snowy day. The reception was at a nearby 4-star resort inn. We had a full sit down meal with two entree options, harp, violins, and lots of wine. It wasn't over the top at all, but I'd like to think it was tasteful. Only family and close family friends were invited, as travel was necessary. My gift registry just contained some china and other kitchen and bath supplies.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Betweenyouandme

[Absolom]

There wasl also the concern of appearing to show off in the small town in the South where I grew up.  To stand out from the norm was extremely heavily frowned upon.  I expect it could be the same in Gothard circles.

[abseedee]

I live in Hawaii and all weddings I've attended were mostly buffet and just a few sit down dinners.  I think at least the Dillards didn't run out of food/snacks.  I've gone to two weddings where the buffet ran out a little half way through the line.  One we were lucky because we were in the first half of the line and the second we were on the second half of the line and didn't get any dinner.  But we did have dessert and coffee.  You would think that the final count of RSVPs would have determined the amount of food catered.  I don't know how they could have accounted for less.

Edited October 30, 2014 by abseedee

[DangerousMinds]

Wow, I read here before I finished watching the episode and now that I have all I can say is what a clusterfuck of a circus. The "church" looked like my old high school. And all that tweeny behavior from Jill, disturbing.

 

Not impressed with Derick's vocabulary (or lack thereof) either, especially for someone who attended a university.

Edited October 30, 2014 by DangerousMinds

[PinkSprinkles]

OMG. That picture of the rice krispie treats on top of a beautiful bed of baby's breath is just so gauche and laughable.

I have been to some tacky and cheap weddings, but that is some seriously tacky, low brow shit.

 

 

That's cringeworthy. If they were interested in a cheap option, then I would have done a fresh fruit salad, chicken salad on croissants (Sam's Club makes a great chicken salad and croissants), grilled vegetables (they can be cooked ahead of time and warmed, plus you can arrange them beautifully on a tray for serving), and a light lemonade with lemon wedge. 

 

I would also advise making those tortilla roll-ups (some call them pinwheels) in large quantities with several different kinds of meat if you are trying to keep guests from getting multiple sandwiches. They are a cinch to make and can be made ahead of time and stored in the fridge. 

[PityFree]

To me, despite being a non-traditionally Spring color, Cathy's dress got lightness from the fabric, the shorter sleeves, and the sheer shoulders. Navy is a flattering color on most people and I thought it helped her look radiant. Her hair/wig was flattering, modern, and also helped lighten the look. She looked like she considered the event significant and celebratory.

 

In contrast, MEchelle's dress might have been a Spring color (puke purple?), but the heavy, shiny fabric; the busy layering; the stiff jacket; and the god awful modesty panel gave it a heavy, drab, non-Spring feel. She looked ridiculous and like she didn't give two hoots about the importance of the occasion. Loudly bragging about getting her dress on the clearance rack also tells us how little she respected the guests or her daughter and new SIL. If you want to get a bargain, more power to you. But I am more impressed when you get a bargain that is flattering and appropriate to the occasion. I am even more impressed when you don't tell everyone what you paid for the dress. She failed.

[WhitneyWhit]

Is that candy next to the rice krispie treats?

 

She saw everything trendy on Pintrest is tried to do it for her wedding, didn't she? But she didn't have the knowledge of how to pull it off properly. I had a sweets table at my wedding, but there weren't any baking sheets on baby's breath.

[Adeejay]

I just can’t get over Jim Bob inquiring about a chaperone when they went to call Derick’s mother.  If he still had concerns that Derick would be able to defraud his “sweet” daughter in the time needed to call his cancer stricken mother, then he should just admit that the way he raised her failed and be grateful that she got hitched.  They make such a big deal about an engaged couple having a chaperone, and then the minute they wed, they are expected to conceive. 

[Higgins]

One more thing: when I saw Anna, already in her custom-fitted bridesmaid dress, carrying Marcus around, I thought, "What if he throws up on her or his diaper leaks (which already happened in one episode) all over that dress"; isn't he still of an age to do such things?  These people can't stop their obsession with babies for one minute; couldn't someone else have held him or just put him down?  It's the same thing where I currently reside (every woman over 18 just lives for babies and over 50, for grandbabies), and it drives me nuts!  Childless by choice.

I totally get and have no problem with people who don't want and don't have children. I'm curious though, Why do people who love babies drive you nuts? What is it that bothers you about them?

[WhitneyWhit]

I just can’t get over Jim Bob inquiring about a chaperone when they went to call Derick’s mother.  If he still had concerns that Derick would be able to defraud his “sweet” daughter in the time needed to call his cancer stricken mother, then he should just admit that the way he raised her failed and be grateful that she got hitched.  They make such a big deal about an engaged couple having a chaperone, and then the minute they wed, they are expected to conceive. 

That has to be traumatizing on some level. I remember my first non-group date, I was a nervous wreck and all we did was go see "Save the Last Dance", I can't imagine the first time I'm alone with guy being the night I marry him and have sex for the first time.

[BitterApple]

 

They divided and conquered by making 3,000 servings of cake “brought in from across the nation,” 2,000 cupcakes, 3,000 cookies made at the Duggars’ home, 3,000 root beer floats and a big mix of salty snacks — including the Duggars’ beloved pickles!

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/279989

 

I can handle the barefoot and other bs but now I understand why they didn't do any coverage of the reception.  Because it was pathetic.

 

 

Great find! Notice how there's no serving tongs on any of the trays and that a child is sticking his hand into the mint dish. That's sanitary! 

 

Regarding the little kids, I hope to God someone packed a cooler with sandwiches, juice and snacks so they could have some nourishment before they overdosed on sugar at the reception. Given that none of them had a complete meltdown during the ceremony, I'm assuming they were fed earlier in the day.

Edited October 30, 2014 by BitterApple

[Hpmec]

I'm all in favor of people following their regional traditions, and there is no one right or wrong way to do a wedding reception. I certainly understand and respect that many people prefer or have to keep it simple. However, if I am invited to a huge televised wedding in which the bride's parents are millionaires who have their own tv show, I am going to anticipate at the very least a buffet of finger sandwiches or pasta and salad. Come on. How cheap can Boob be? Rice krispie treats? Posters have pointed out that many local catering companies would have gladly given the Duggars a break in exchange for the free publicity. What it boils down to is that the Duggars' mindset was that being in their presence and eating a cupcake was good enough for the hundreds not invited back to the homestead -sort of an entitled, insulting "Let them eat cake" attitude. Hope some of these marginalized "guests" learned their lesson and plan to skip the gift and stay home next time.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Hpmec

[Adeejay]

About four years ago, my husband and I went to the wedding of one of his co-workers.  When it was announced that it would be a cash bar, most of the guests (including my husband) went to the bathroom and took some money out of the gift envelope.  If I were invited to Jill’s wedding and was given a cupcake or rice krispy treat, along with a warm root beer float in a plastic up, I would take back my gift. 

[Temperance]

Ok, I've now had a chance to see the episode and I'm going to go on the record and say (gasp!) that no one here looked nice, and this is what comes of trying to put together a wedding on such short notice.

Jill's dress needed to be fitted better. The men's suits were of such low quality that they practically shone like mirrors. Michelle's dress WAS a mirror. The bridesmaids dresses looked like they had all been slept in. And even Cathy's dress was inappropriate for a June wedding and it's dark color only made her look all the more like she was dressing for a less than festive event, shall we say. (Perhaps she was, in her mind....)

That was a boring, impersonal service, made for television. It also was filled with guests who were invited to prove they could fill the church. You could tell by the way Jill greeted the guests. Given that we know the number of "real guests" back at the house being about 300 (again, going from estimates from Josiah's party) that means there were probably 250-400 people on the original list that the Duggars wanted to include and another 500 or so that they had to deal with. If you were so foolish as to think you should be included in that 500, and you bought them a set of towels and guzzled down a half melted root beer float so you could say you were there? Well, that says as much about a "guest" as it does the Duggars.

I agree with much of what you said. However I want to point out that I thought Cathy looked lovely. She may have pulled her outfit together, not only because the wedding planning  was rushed, but because the women was battling cancer. That may leave her with less time for perfect dress selection. She may have had to grab her dress last minute, because of the scheduling of her treatments.  I also thought the color was fine, and suited her skin tone.  The somber color may not have been spring like and in general the dress looked more wintery, but to my mind it looked formal and maybe in keeping with her own personal situation. 

Michelle's dress could have been more fitted particularly on-top.

[NikSac]

Ok, I've now had a chance to see the episode and I'm going to go on the record and say (gasp!) that no one here looked nice, and this is what comes of trying to put together a wedding on such short notice.

Jill's dress needed to be fitted better. The men's suits were of such low quality that they practically shone like mirrors. Michelle's dress WAS a mirror. The bridesmaids dresses looked like they had all been slept in. And even Cathy's dress was inappropriate for a June wedding and it's dark color only made her look all the more like she was dressing for a less than festive event, shall we say. (Perhaps she was, in her mind....)

That was a boring, impersonal service, made for television. It also was filled with guests who were invited to prove they could fill the church. You could tell by the way Jill greeted the guests. Given that we know the number of "real guests" back at the house being about 300 (again, going from estimates from Josiah's party) that means there were probably 250-400 people on the original list that the Duggars wanted to include and another 500 or so that they had to deal with. If you were so foolish as to think you should be included in that 500, and you bought them a set of towels and guzzled down a half melted root beer float so you could say you were there? Well, that says as much about a "guest" as it does the Duggars.

I still don't know if the cake was supposed to look like that or not, but in my house that's called "iced cornbread cake."

 

I agree on the guests but my question remains, why did they even allow 500 "extra" guests if that's not what they wanted?  At my wedding we had 4 people show up who were not invited and they were dealt with very quickly. Obviously 500 is a lot more to deal with but they had "hundreds" of volunteers, couldn't they get rid of anyone who wasn't welcome?  Or as you said, maybe it was just to prove they could fill the church even if they had no idea who the people were. Maybe that's why I liked the rehearsal dinner and "first look" so much - they both seemed so much more real than the wedding and reception.

 

As an aside, iced cornbread cake sounds kind of good in a weird way... sounds better than melty flat root-beer float, for sure.

[joanofarch4]

I totally get and have no problem with people who don't want and don't have children. I'm curious though, Why do people who love babies drive you nuts? What is it that bothers you about them?

There's a difference between "loving babies" and being obsessed with procreation, as any viewer of this show can attest.

Edited October 30, 2014 by joanofarch4

[3girlsforus]

As a Southerner who was raised in New England, and still has family in the South... I say a lot of it boils down to economics & culture. In New England, weddings are big celebrations held at nice venues with a big sit down/buffet meal and lots of booze (Mostly Italian / Irish families). This is just my own experience and not representative of all weddings in New England, of course . I'm just trying to give a general idea.

My family in the south usually host receptions in a much more casual atmosphere (rodeo anyone? ) such as a back yard BBQ. The classiest beverage you will find at a backyard reception is Budweiser.Every thing is very casual and "down home". My sister wore jeans!!!! to her own wedding and she is very Southern.

This is good breakdown but personally I see a backyard bbq with beer perfectly acceptable in the bride and groom want a casual affair - there is still FOOD. Personally I'll eat BBQ over fancy food any day LOL. It isn't the casual that bothered me about the food. It's the choice of casual "food". There wasn't even a cohesion to the food. Ok - if you want a dessert reception... then have cupcakes, cookies, brownies, individual pies, and small finger sandwiches to offset the sweet. Or have just appetizers - mini-quches, egg rolls, meatballs, etc, veggie platters with dip, chips, fruit salad - all would be very casual but still food. Heck even if it was simply a wedding cake and punch reception - then at least it's just cake that that's what it is for some people.  But popcorn, pickles, cupcakes and Rice Krispy treats - that's just odd. It's like a 6 year old went the fridge and took out his favorite things to eat and tried to call it dinner. 

 

I do maintain that if they are happy, then great. But I also will say that even in the South where receptions are much more casual than the large fancy Italian reception many are used to, people usually don't have such an unusual combination of foods. 

[BitterApple]

If I were invited to Jill’s wedding and was given a cupcake or rice krispy treat, along with a warm root beer float in a plastic up, I would take back my gift. 

It's hard for me to grasp their style of entertaining because I was brought up with the mentality that you do things a little nicer when you have company over or you're hosting a party. I read upthread that the Duggars asked guests to supply food for the private reception at their house. That is just beyond gauche, IMO. When I attend dinner parties I always bring a dessert or small gift for the hostess, but I've never had anyone say, "hey can you bring a rib roast or ham?" The hosts should supply the bulk of the food. 

 

Adeejay, I'm originally from Boston and if you ever did a cash bar at a wedding up here, you'd be shit-talked for eternity. 

 

I think a lot of my snark towards Jill has to do with the fact that the Duggars dragged this mess out for ten episodes, made the wedding seem like it took months of endless preparation, had an allegedly professional wedding planner and the whole thing STILL ended up looking like a last minute get-together. 

Edited October 30, 2014 by BitterApple

[3girlsforus]

I just can’t get over Jim Bob inquiring about a chaperone when they went to call Derick’s mother.  If he still had concerns that Derick would be able to defraud his “sweet” daughter in the time needed to call his cancer stricken mother, then he should just admit that the way he raised her failed and be grateful that she got hitched.  They make such a big deal about an engaged couple having a chaperone, and then the minute they wed, they are expected to conceive. 

This a thousand times over.... and I feel this way about the chaperone pretty much any time after the relationship starts (assuming you buy into the need to 'approve' the guy in the first place. If you raised your kid right you need to trust them to make wise decisions and know that what they choose for their lives won't be exactly what you choose. 

 

I do have to wonder though is the mad dash for the wedding chaperone was really more about reminding the viewer how 'pure' they are.

[Hpmec]

3girlsforus, you may be onto something. Perhaps J'Chelle and Boob left it up to most favored little Josie to select the food. That would explain a lot. :)

[juneday]

So now I'm wondering - why such a split in traditions? Does anyone have any ideas? It'd be interesting to find out. Was the South just poorer in general overall for so long? An agricultural economy that didn't yield an adequate enough income for entertaining? If these "light" receptions are the norm for the South [which was news to me, I'd never heard of before] it certainly rubs against the very iconic tradition of Southern hospitality. The Wilkes barbecue in "Gone With The Wind" has always been the epitome of what I thought Southern hospitality was. Over-the-top entertaining of guests and visitors at every opportunity.

That is a spot-on representation of Southern receptions. And as kids, we were always so excited to get to go to a wedding because of the punch! We thought it was great, lol.

Also people where I grew up didn't eat on paper plates, exactly. They weren't "real" chinaware but they were those hard plastic clear plates and cups. Like a step up from paper, I suppose.

It is a bit odd to me that Southern receptions are this way, considering that any other time you eat at a Southern church or a person's home they have so much food.

I'm not sure of the reason, but good point.

(Okay, back on topic, sorry...)

[3girlsforus]

It's hard for me to grasp their style of entertaining because I was brought up with the mentality that you do things a little nicer when you have company over or you're hosting a party. I read upthread that the Duggars asked guests to supply food for the private reception at their house. That is just beyond gauche, IMO. When I attend dinner parties I always bring a dessert or small gift for the hostess, but I've never had anyone say, "hey can you bring a rib roast or ham?" The hosts should supply the bulk of the food. 

I'm going to run out of 'quotes' LOL. This is it exactly. If there is someone over for dinner, even just a kid over with one of my kids, I set a nicer table, I put things in bowls, I make sure there is plenty of food, I make sure it's a balanced meal etc. And if's a true company or a dinner party I definitely do things up nicer. The ONLY time I ever ask anyone to bring anything is for Thanksgiving and that's only because I host and it's only family so my mom wants to bring a few sides to help out. But I'd never ask a guest and frankly wouldn't even ask my mom if she wasn't so insistent. 

[Literata]

Most of the receptions I've attended here in the Midwest include a lovely sit-down dinner, open bar for cocktail hour, and then cash bar after that. Or a bar in which beer and wine are free, but hard liquor is not. To each his/her own, but I agree -- the Duggars easily could have afforded more, and the whole thing was tacky, but is anyone really surprised by that?

[trimthatfat]

I am giving Cathy a whole lot of slack as far as her dress.  Jill and Derick became engaged in late March.  They said that Cathy told her sons she had cancer on Easter, which was April 20 this year, so about three weeks after the engagement happened.  Unless she had already been shopping for her dress before Easter, she was dealing with cancer treatments and trying to find a dress for the wedding at the same time.  I thought she looked lovely and honestly didn't give the color a second thought.

 

I agree. But I also personally feel that there is nothing wrong with wearing a dark color to a wedding. IMO, Cathy looked great and I think the dress she wore was perfect.

[Barb23]

I understand that. I already said that I get it's their culture. I'm Baptist and up North, so I've never been to that kind of wedding. Thankfully, my culture views weddings as a chance to celebrate and enjoy some delicious meals. Derrick and Jill's wedding would have been a pain and tacky to me as a guest, but that's my opinion. I'm not saying it has to be the opinion of everyone else.

I'm with you- I'm from the Northeast & have never been to their type of wedding. Even the smaller wedding I posted earlier about was a co-worker/friend. The reception was held in their Fellowship hall around lunchtime with dishes (some hot) provided by the families & it was very nice. I agree about the wedding being a celebration. Sometimes we have sat at a table with strangers & it was nice to talk about how we knew the bride & groom & exchange stories. Someone previous posted about J&D not really knowing some or a lot of the guests. I'm sure most were ATI families the Duggars saw once a year. Remember when Joy told Boob a family arrived but she didn't know who they were? I realize this was Joy & not Jill but I'm sure Jill really didn't know them either. I'm just trying to point out the weddings I've been to I "know" the bride or groom, not "know of" the bride or groom.

[joanofarch4]

Personally, I think JB was making a very awkward attempt at a joke when he mentioned the "C" word as they planned to go off for their devotionals; I'd have to rewatch it to see the exact timing of Jill's announcement that they were also going to call, um, Mom, which she shouldn't be calling her until after their married, IMHO.  I cringed at how she horned in on all the last potentially private moments between Derrick as a single man and his family ; she certainly milked the living daylights out of her parting words with her own father (it was a bit skeevy).

Edited October 30, 2014 by joanofarch4

[SmallTownMom]

When I read that there was candy at the wedding, I thought of my daughter's wedding.  The bride and groom didn't want alcohol, so we did a "candy bar."  We bought large bowls that looked like bar glasses---a brandy snifter, large martini glass, etc. and filled them with an assortment of candies, such as color-themed M & M's, Hershy Kisses, JellyBelly jeally beans, rock candy (looked cool in a large margarita glass) and put in little heart-shaped coffee scoops.  We had small fabric bags on the table for guests to fill a bag.  It was really cute, and people loved it!  I have seen our idea repeated at several receptions.

 

Then I looked at the picture. Unwrapped candy and little grubby howler hands digging in?  Just no.  Ugh, made me cringe just looking at it.  And why do those Rice Krispie treats look so messy.  Couldn't they have been cut neater, and arranged on a pretty platter?  I like whoever described a dessert reception above.  That's a lovely idea if you have to be on a budget.  JB could have afforded better.

 

I did like Jill's dress.  I was surprised it wasn't some sort of a 1980's puffy-sleeved monstrosity.  But her hair looked awful.  A trim and something a little more formal than the way she wears it every day would have been much nicer.

[Sile]

Oh, that reminds me! What is the deal with having those stretch pants things on Josie in that lovely dress?  I get that they put those things on the girls in an effort to keep them from defrauding the public at large, but I thought they would give those things a rest for their little dresses.  Actually, Josie was the only fashion offender in this case.  The other girls managed to make it without the stretch pants. 

 

I'm thinking it was to either camouflage that she was wearing diapers or it was to keep the diaper snug and from sagging down if it got full.  Or maybe both.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Sile