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The Bachelorette in the Media

Rhondinella

By Rhondinella
in The Bachelorette

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chocolatine
chocolatine

At least that way, someone - i.e. the police - is guaranteed to "show up" for her.

Sir RaiderDuck OMS
Sir RaiderDuck OMS

Yes, producers love drama. But Clare creates her own. Look at what she did during the four episodes she was on the show (I may have mixed up the exact order a bit, but it's not far off): Meets D

JudyObscure
JudyObscure

When I looked at some of the things Garrett had "liked,"  I wasn't just thinking that those pictures might be hurtful to others.  Mostly, I was wondering about the mind of someone who found those thin

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JudyObscure

JudyObscure

Well I'm proud of you, Mu Shu. :)  Sorry to have set off a flurry of gassy  emissions,   Belching was just the first thing I could think of that seemed "unfeminine," to me.  Other examples in my head are more visual. 

12 hours ago, AnyTimeFromNow said:

I don't know what this means. Feminity is to be controlled? To meet some standard? That others find acceptable? Color me confused.

Why?  If any criticism of anyone on the show offends you then I get that, but if, as many of us here have decided, it's okay to criticize the people who have subjected themselves to this reality TV show, then why is it okay to say we think Chris is a jerk, Joe's hair is too much, Blake's head is too big, Becca's camel-riding outfit looked stupid, but -- hold everything, "unfeminine,' is off the table?  

All of these comments are just opinions.  Why didn't you jump in defensively  after someone said they hated Becca's hair, asking what standard they were using and why it was unacceptable? Femininity is like beauty, all in the eye of the beholder.

 Just an example: The most recent "Miss Americas" have been far too muscular looking for my taste. I hate to see a six pack on a woman, knowing that my gynecologist says that the soft curve of fat over a woman's abdomen is an indicator of plenty of estrogen, fertility and health.  The current standard of beauty seems to demand that women lift weights and struggle for a level of leanness and cut muscle that is very difficult for someone without much testosterone to achieve. In the process, she often loses so much breast tissue she thinks she needs implants.  I would call that current beauty standard unfeminine.  Millage varies and people who equate a woman's "fitness," by how much muscle she has will all disagree with me and that's cool with me.  I'm just confused that you're confused and think it's something we shouldn't be free to discuss.

  • Love 17
Ashlyc

Ashlyc

21 hours ago, dleighg said:

I read once (no source, sorry) that a sizable % of college guys think that girls don't poop.

I agree. I think it's good manners to do it discreetly, and to not remark on it if it happens. Both genders. 

i think manners is a good way to put it. its a normal body function, just like other things some people think are gross. but everyone does and will continue to do them. but i think it can make someone so crass when they exploit it. case in point my mother in law. she is over all a tom boy type, shes a little rough around the edges. but it drives me up a wall the way she jokes about farts. she makes it  a point to call someone out when they do or for how bad it smells. her young granddaughter does it to, since grandma and her dad laugh and all most encourge her to do it. once at a get together, the young girl, around 3-4 years old, kept forcing herself to do it since people were laughing like it was so funny and cute. just gross. 

  • Love 4
Ashlyc

Ashlyc

16 hours ago, dbell1 said:

http://www.vulture.com/2018/07/the-bachelorette-recap-season-14-episode-6-week-6.html

The Vulture recaps this season deserve every rose. 

Im gonna read all of these, starting with epsidoe 2. the author talks about how we know nothing about becca, really other than she was on the bachelor and what conspired. We dont know what she likes or what she even does for a job. it really is ODD. i remember even back with Des, she was a wedding dress designer, Kaitlin was a dancer and rachel was a lawyer... oh what the heck did miss Jo Jo do.. hmm maybe thats the thing now. maybe the reason this season is so lackluster is really more on becca / the producers failing at editing her personality in, or maybe just the lack of her own identity. 

  • Love 4
fib

fib

I think the two main culprits are: 1) casting and 2) the booze restrictions.  Let me explain...

The casting this season clearly sucks - Becca gets Instahater Garrett (ok, maybe thats ok), Sexual Assualter Lincoln, Soft Core Porn actor Leo, and a guy from Florida who had an assault charge too.  What?  She is outspokenly liberal, but they still cast someone openly hostile to women like her? Someone who if Becca had the ability to screen social media, she would never pick? Ugh. I think there has just been a lot of problems based on these men. 

The booze restrictions make the drama seem so much more producer driven.  This season is the first seaon of the bachelorette where the booze has been limited to 2 drinks per hour ad no shots.  Comparatively, Rachel said she did shots of Fireball throughout her season.  I think when people are more boozed up, they are more comfortable in front of the cameras, AND create drama on their own.  The producer strings have been so clear this season, so it all rings false.  The drama all seems so fake, the lines so scripted, Im just not buying it.  

  • Love 6
Mabinogia

Mabinogia

2 minutes ago, fib said:

I think when people are more boozed up, they are more comfortable in front of the cameras, AND create drama on their own.

Good point. Booze would loosen them up more and get someone like Colton to stop orchestrating every word that comes out of his mouth or move he makes. I'd love to see him get drunk and go off his self created script. Maybe we'd get to see the real Colton instead of this Bachelorette Ken Doll.

It would also have been interesting to see how the season unfolded if Becca knew going in what Garrett's political and social views really are. I mean, you think about it, she's getting engaged to a guy and she doesn't even know what he likes on social media. That's like dating 101 these days, go stalk the person's page before agreeing to another date, let alone marriage.

  • Love 7
leighdear

leighdear

5 hours ago, Ashlyc said:

Im gonna read all of these, starting with epsidoe 2. the author talks about how we know nothing about becca, really other than she was on the bachelor and what conspired. We dont know what she likes or what she even does for a job. it really is ODD. i remember even back with Des, she was a wedding dress designer, Kaitlin was a dancer and rachel was a lawyer... oh what the heck did miss Jo Jo do.. hmm maybe thats the thing now. maybe the reason this season is so lackluster is really more on becca / the producers failing at editing her personality in, or maybe just the lack of her own identity. 

Here's what Reality Steve had on Becca from Arie's season:

Rebecca Kufrin: 27, Minneapolis, MN. Pretty sure she goes by “Becca.” She’s a Senior Account Executive at Skyaa, a technology PR firm. Graduated from Minnesota St. University – Mankato in 2012 with a B.S. in Mass Communications. Mother is in remission from breast cancer. Father died about 8 years ago. Has a sister Emily who recently got engaged .

Twitter – @RebeccaKufrin (de-activated as of 9/17)
Instagram – bkoof
LinkedIn – Rebecca Kufrin

No telling if she still has the job, as many "professionals" that go on the show have to quit or take a leave of absence.  And the ones that get tapped for the next lead have to commit a huge chunk of time to ABC and the show.  

  • Love 3
PreBabylonia

PreBabylonia

On 2018-07-01 at 5:41 PM, AnyTimeFromNow said:

Different strokes, and all that ... Standard of behavior is one thing--standard of beauty is another. I would hope we've moved beyond having standards of femininity for women in 2018.

 

On 2018-07-02 at 12:04 PM, JudyObscure said:

I don't see a big difference between standards of beauty and standards of femininity.  At least femininity is usually within one's control. To belch or not to belch, for example. I find Becca both pretty and feminine, but if someone else doesn't, I think she should be free to say so. 

Sounds like the two of you are discussing two different topics, since standard of behaviour isn't the same as standard of beauty.

On 2018-07-03 at 8:09 AM, JudyObscure said:

Why?  If any criticism of anyone on the show offends you then I get that, but if, as many of us here have decided, it's okay to criticize the people who have subjected themselves to this reality TV show, then why is it okay to say we think Chris is a jerk, Joe's hair is too much, Blake's head is too big, Becca's camel-riding outfit looked stupid, but -- hold everything, "unfeminine,' is off the table?  

All of these comments are just opinions.  Why didn't you jump in defensively  after someone said they hated Becca's hair, asking what standard they were using and why it was unacceptable? Femininity is like beauty, all in the eye of the beholder.

 Just an example: The most recent "Miss Americas" have been far too muscular looking for my taste. I hate to see a six pack on a woman, knowing that my gynecologist says that the soft curve of fat over a woman's abdomen is an indicator of plenty of estrogen, fertility and health.  The current standard of beauty seems to demand that women lift weights and struggle for a level of leanness and cut muscle that is very difficult for someone without much testosterone to achieve. In the process, she often loses so much breast tissue she thinks she needs implants.  I would call that current beauty standard unfeminine.  Millage varies and people who equate a woman's "fitness," by how much muscle she has will all disagree with me and that's cool with me.  I'm just confused that you're confused and think it's something we shouldn't be free to discuss.

I definitely see a difference there, between criticising particular features that you don't like (hair, clothing styles, heavy makeup, very high stilettos etc.) and calling somebody "unfeminine." The former we all do and yes, it's opinion. The latter refers to adhering to a social norm that I am hoping is disappearing.  I see that as shaming a woman into fitting into a particularly rigid role. The equivalent to calling a man a "Sissy" if he didn't come across as an alpha male.

On 2018-07-03 at 2:38 PM, Mu Shu said:

I’m offended by people with good hair.  It just pisses me off so much. 

LOL

On 2018-07-05 at 1:35 PM, Ashlyc said:

Im gonna read all of these, starting with epsidoe 2. the author talks about how we know nothing about becca, really other than she was on the bachelor and what conspired. We dont know what she likes or what she even does for a job. it really is ODD. i remember even back with Des, she was a wedding dress designer, Kaitlin was a dancer and rachel was a lawyer... oh what the heck did miss Jo Jo do.. hmm maybe thats the thing now. maybe the reason this season is so lackluster is really more on becca / the producers failing at editing her personality in, or maybe just the lack of her own identity. 

I thought she was in Public Relations. But she has never mentioned it, not once, so I thought perhaps it was an entry level job that she doesn't particularly likes. I think Becca's bigger job is to get married. Probably part of the reason that I find her so dull. I've never heard her passionate about anything.

On 2018-07-05 at 2:41 PM, fib said:

I think the two main culprits are: 1) casting and 2) the booze restrictions.  Let me explain...

The casting this season clearly sucks - Becca gets Instahater Garrett (ok, maybe thats ok), Sexual Assualter Lincoln, Soft Core Porn actor Leo, and a guy from Florida who had an assault charge too.  What?  She is outspokenly liberal, but they still cast someone openly hostile to women like her? Someone who if Becca had the ability to screen social media, she would never pick? Ugh. I think there has just been a lot of problems based on these men. 

The booze restrictions make the drama seem so much more producer driven.  This season is the first seaon of the bachelorette where the booze has been limited to 2 drinks per hour ad no shots.  Comparatively, Rachel said she did shots of Fireball throughout her season.  I think when people are more boozed up, they are more comfortable in front of the cameras, AND create drama on their own.  The producer strings have been so clear this season, so it all rings false.  The drama all seems so fake, the lines so scripted, Im just not buying it.  

Good point. It's as if they have moved from sorority parties to a church picnic. Maybe the producers should assess the level of alcohol based on the participants. Or use a bartender with Smart Serve. (I don't know if that's only a Canadian thing - you have to take this course before handling alcohol. Part of it is finding ways to slow down drinking and outright refusing to serve if the customer is already impaired).

On 2018-07-05 at 6:59 PM, leighdear said:

Here's what Reality Steve had on Becca from Arie's season:

Rebecca Kufrin: 27, Minneapolis, MN. Pretty sure she goes by “Becca.” She’s a Senior Account Executive at Skyaa, a technology PR firm. Graduated from Minnesota St. University – Mankato in 2012 with a B.S. in Mass Communications. Mother is in remission from breast cancer. Father died about 8 years ago. Has a sister Emily who recently got engaged .

Twitter – @RebeccaKufrin (de-activated as of 9/17)
Instagram – bkoof
LinkedIn – Rebecca Kufrin

No telling if she still has the job, as many "professionals" that go on the show have to quit or take a leave of absence.  And the ones that get tapped for the next lead have to commit a huge chunk of time to ABC and the show.  

Hmmm. Senior Executive sounds somewhat impressive but again, she never mentions what she has done for employment, in any sort of way.

  • Love 5
Ashlyc

Ashlyc

1 hour ago, PreBabylonia said:

 

Sounds like the two of you are discussing two different topics, since standard of behaviour isn't the same as standard of beauty.

I definitely see a difference there, between criticising particular features that you don't like (hair, clothing styles, heavy makeup, very high stilettos etc.) and calling somebody "unfeminine." The former we all do and yes, it's opinion. The latter refers to adhering to a social norm that I am hoping is disappearing.  I see that as shaming a woman into fitting into a particularly rigid role. The equivalent to calling a man a "Sissy" if he didn't come across as an alpha male.

LOL

I thought she was in Public Relations. But she has never mentioned it, not once, so I thought perhaps it was an entry level job that she doesn't particularly likes. I think Becca's bigger job is to get married. Probably part of the reason that I find her so dull. I've never heard her passionate about anything.

Good point. It's as if they have moved from sorority parties to a church picnic. Maybe the producers should assess the level of alcohol based on the participants. Or use a bartender with Smart Serve. (I don't know if that's only a Canadian thing - you have to take this course before handling alcohol. Part of it is finding ways to slow down drinking and outright refusing to serve if the customer is already impaired).

Hmmm. Senior Executive sounds somewhat impressive but again, she never mentions what she has done for employment, in any sort of way.

it is so weird tho. lets showcase her as a powerful independent woman, not some hollow shell that just wants a man. idk makes it so much more boring. makes rachel even more of a badass when she was a lawyer. wonder what she is doing now?

  • Love 1
JudyObscure

JudyObscure

2 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I definitely see a difference there, between criticising particular features that you don't like (hair, clothing styles, heavy makeup, very high stilettos etc.) and calling somebody "unfeminine." The former we all do and yes, it's opinion. The latter refers to adhering to a social norm that I am hoping is disappearing.  I see that as shaming a woman into fitting into a particularly rigid role.

Aren't clothes and hairstyles things people do to fit into a social norm? How is hair-shaming different from belch-shaming?   For that matter, why does it become an awful thing to do if we add the word "shaming," to it?   Glam-shaming was my favorite. There's really no difference between criticizing and shaming.  It just seems to become "shaming," when someone doesn't agree.

We all decide how we wear our hair or whether or not we think it's a good look to pump our arm and shout, "Let's do the damn thing!"  Some of us thought Nick looked a little unattractive in his many bracelets walking with his hands tucked into his front pocket. I never called Nick a sissy but, come to think of it, his head down mumbling wasn't particularly confident looking -- and that's fine.  I kind of prefer beta males over alpha males like Josh -- and I feel free to call it if I think I see it, either way.

I think there's a little bit of subtle misogyny going on when "feminine,"  becomes a bad thing.  It carries an unspoken, new social norm that says anything traditionally connected to women is bad while anytime a woman does something traditionally associated with men it's a good thing.   By that standard a woman who acts like a vulgar loud mouth man is cool while a woman who has good manners and a graceful way of carrying herself is sneered at. 

 

We saw examples of that with Andie who had a job that was once more commonly held by men (lawyer) and loved sports and shooting her guns. To a lot of people that made her superior to someone like Desiree who was a bridal stylist with a quiet manner and therefore  considered boring.  I think women should be free to be whatever they want but they should also be proud of their traditional skills as nurturers and their social skills that are often superior to men's.  I liked Desiree.  I thought she was very feminine -- and to me that is not a bad thing. 

  • Love 7
JudyObscure

JudyObscure

1 hour ago, peachmangosteen said:

It's not. But then, neither is being unfeminine.

True, but neither is having frizzy hair, yet we all have opinions about it. I have frizzy hair, but I didn't feel like I had been "shamed," when someone said they thought Becca's hair looked awful after it had frizzed up.  When someone said she thought Becca was unfeminine, it seemed like the same same sort of opinion to me.  It wasn't a moral judgement just a preference for a quality she liked but didn't see in Becca.

  • Love 1
Ashlyc

Ashlyc

1 hour ago, peachmangosteen said:

Right! If anyone has any tips for how to get non-frizzy hair send them my way!

i recently started using a microfiber towel to dry my hair. im definitely seeing a difference. they wrap up on youre head with a title button. i got mine at target for a few bucks. also have been using Kristen Ess products, like the cleansing conditioner. 

  • Love 2
ljenkins782

ljenkins782

On 7/9/2018 at 12:26 PM, PreBabylonia said:
Quote

 

Here's what Reality Steve had on Becca from Arie's season:

Rebecca Kufrin: 27, Minneapolis, MN. Pretty sure she goes by “Becca.” She’s a Senior Account Executive at Skyaa, a technology PR firm. Graduated from Minnesota St. University – Mankato in 2012 with a B.S. in Mass Communications.

 

Hmmm. Senior Executive sounds somewhat impressive but again, she never mentions what she has done for employment, in any sort of way.

It's not. I work in advertising and "Senior Account Executive" is basically a mid-level position, only a step or two above entry level for that category.   I wouldn't be surprised to see that she left her job altogether for this, the Bachelorette gig and potential social media earnings would pay way more. 

It is interesting though that we really haven't learned much about her at all. I don't think I've even heard her broach the topic of whether or not she was planning to move for her F1 or if they were amenable to moving. 

  • Love 1
Mabinogia

Mabinogia

haha, of course grain of salt and all, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if she's having second thoughts. I would think most of them would once they watch the show because they are seeing a side of the person they didn't see. I would hope most of them would put on the breaks long enough to sort out what is real, what is editing, and if the person they fell for in the fishbowl is the person they want to spend their lives with in the real world. Of course it's a "news" article so they are surely making it sound like something much bigger than it is. 

I have to admit, this is the first time I'm really more interested in what happened after the final rose than what happened on the show because the show is a snoozefest. All the drama is coming out after the show finished filming. 

  • Love 4
ljenkins782

ljenkins782

16 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

Life & Style has at least one "the lead is questioning their choice" story every season. If it was any other publication I might give this a second glance but Life & Style, yeah no. 

Yeah, I think this is same mag that claims Jennifer Aniston is pregnant every other week. And teasing that Becca may do the same thing that Arie did to her is just an attempt to keep people watching the show while it creaks toward a dull end. 

Does the show restrict internet use for the leads? Did Becca have the option of social media stalking any of her guys or do they keep them away from that while they're on the show? 

truthaboutluv

truthaboutluv

(edited)
19 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

43C8924C-BA3E-45DD-B9E8-8A5211DD615D.jpeg

When Colton was dating Aly Raisman. Never introduced anyone to the family...except the one time we wore matching PJs Christmas morning!!!

 

lol... Dude is such a complete phony at this point. I will never understand why some of the contestants pull that bullshit lie every season. I guess they think it helps sell to the lead how important and special they are but it just ends up making them look like a complete ass when in Colton's case, you have the above. All these contestants have past relationships, so I don't think anyone would judge their having introduced someone else to their family. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
  • Love 7
Koalagirl

Koalagirl

Last night Rachel and Ben (Higgins) were on Lip Sync Battle.  Ben showed a personality I wish we had seen more of during his stint as The Bachelor.  Gyrating on stage, taking off his shirt and throwing it into the audience - who'd have thunk!!   Making cameo appearances on stage with him were Nick Viall and Welles Adams.   Rachel did a great job in both of her performances - though I wish she had left Brian at home. 

truthaboutluv

truthaboutluv

(edited)

I would really like to know how much money Marriage Boot Camp throws at these couples. Because it has to be something substantial to have so many of the unlikeliest couples from the franchise agree to do the show. Sean and Catherine were not a surprise because Sean has proven he'd never pass up an opportunity for a paycheck but never saw Ashley and J.P. and now Chris and Des doing this - very surprising. Also, not to parent shame anyone but I really think once kids have entered into the picture, stuff like this should really be best left in the past. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
  • Love 13
JudyObscure

JudyObscure

1 hour ago, chocolatine said:

IMO you can’t put a price on dignity. Some would say that ship sailed when they first signed up for The Bachelor/Bachelorette, but the previews for Marriage Bootcamp are on another level of trashy.

I agree.  To me another child on the way is just another child destined to be horrified some day when he sees his parents on Youtube talking about their intimate problems.  No amount of designer onesies is going to make up for that.

  • Love 3
backformore

backformore

2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

IMO you can’t put a price on dignity. Some would say that ship sailed when they first signed up for The Bachelor/Bachelorette, but the previews for Marriage Bootcamp are on another level of trashy.

Marriage Boot Camp is very trashy.  Couples have to go through exercises that would be humiliating even in the privacy of a therapy office.  And they have to do it in front of cameras.  Any time someone refuses to go through with an exercise, it's seen as evidence that they're not serious about their relationship.   Some of the things I've seen  - one person gets in a fake accident, is all bloody and injured, then lies down in a casket and their spouse comes in and has to "react"  to their partner's death.  The women and men go out in two groups, to clubs, and they call it a "hall pass," the show gets people to flirt with them.  Then, video of what happened is shown, and they have to account for their "hall pass"  actions.     But the kicker is when they have "puppets" of themselves and they have to re-enact scenes using their puppets - and they have to play act, with puppets, their sexual relationship.   It's weird and gross and not therapeutic, just voyeuristic.  

Going on that show is a bad decision for anyone, but especially for couples who have kids. 

  • Love 4
Koalagirl

Koalagirl

17 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Sean Lowe said that it's only for two weeks and that you get a nice size check.  

Sean Lowe would show up to a supermarket opening in order to get a paycheck.  They were on an episode of The Profit,  shilling a line of Catherine’s stationery and even did an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap.  There’s a few other shows I can’t think of off the top of my head.  I agree that once you have kids you need to be a little more discretionary as to your choices.

  • Love 7
fib

fib

21 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

Sean Lowe would show up to a supermarket opening in order to get a paycheck.... There’s a few other shows I can’t think of off the top of my head. 

Worst cooks in america, who wants to be a millionaire, dancing with the stars...

though to be fair, he is in the kind of industry (insurance sales) where name recognition helps some.  Its free marketing for his biz, too.  

  • Love 3
Former Nun

Former Nun

On 7/2/2018 at 4:00 PM, peachmangosteen said:

Thinking women shouldn't burp or fart is so archaic. Like, those are normal bodily functions.

My mother, born in 1916, didn't think so.  My sisters and I were not "allowed" to do either.  If something happened accidentally, we were sent to the bathroom immediately.  When I started telling that to my little boys, one of them, age six, said, "But Mommmmmmm, it's a normal body function."

JudyObscure

JudyObscure

5 hours ago, Former Nun said:

My mother, born in 1916, didn't think so.  My sisters and I were not "allowed" to do either.  If something happened accidentally, we were sent to the bathroom immediately.  When I started telling that to my little boys, one of them, age six, said, "But Mommmmmmm, it's a normal body function."

To which I would say, "So is peeing, but we don't do it in the living room."

  • Love 11
DEL901

DEL901

https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/18/entertainment/rachel-lindsay-bryan-abasolo-wedding/

"There's a reason Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo haven't tied the knot yet.

The couple who got engaged last year on "The Bachelorette" recently told People that they are working with ABC for a televised special of their nuptials.

"We're just waiting to hear from the show," Abasolo said. "There are just so many engaged couples from the show in front of us.""

  • Love 4

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