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The Bachelorette in the Media


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10 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I know there were some real life politicians that achieved this, the important element of course was respect, and being willing to listen to the other side. I can't think of the real life couples names I remember reading about a decade or so ago, but Kurt & Diane of The Good Fight remain my favourite fictional version.

I think you would have a different perspective if you actually were related to recent immigrants and had relationships with Dreamers. I'm not one myself, but I hope I have enough empathy to avoid making jokes that touch on real pain. Whenever I get those kinds of posts in my Facebook feeds, I make sure that I unfriend the acquaintance immediately. It's certainly not easy to walk the line like comedians do, but regular people should be able to avoid cruel jokes. In my youth, it was considered normal to make jokes about gays, the mentally challenged and Newfies (I'm Canadian). Now I cringe. It must have been horrible to have been targeted like that, and pretend that it's funny and not painful. And told there was something wrong with them if they can't take a "joke."

THIS> i get that its all in fun for some people. but it is offensive and it continues a bad narrative. when you make it ok to make these types of jokes, it sends the message that its ok. think of something really offensive someone could do or say to you and everyone around you said its just a joke dont take it so serious. i agree it goes both ways. im not saying hes a bad person. but what we like share and even when we share jokes with each other, we contribute to that negativity. 

  • Love 13
11 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I think you would have a different perspective if you actually were related to recent immigrants and had relationships with Dreamers.

I don't know any recent immigrants, but I do have an uncle who is gay, a cousin whose son just came out, I have a mentally handicapped aunt. I know how much jokes can hurt. I also know that the people who laugh at these jokes aren't horrible people just because they don't understand how hurtful the joke is for the very reason that they haven't felt the effects. We all have different life experiences. 

When I hear 'That's so gay" or "you're such a retard" I don't automatically write that person off as hateful, just incredibly ignorant. Ignorance can be fixed. I hope that Garrett's eyes have been opened to the difference between joking around with friends and liking something the public can see. Friends understand when you are joking. The rest of the world doesn't know you well enough. 

Perhaps Garrett hadn't realized how liking a post could offend anyone. Hopefully he is more careful from now on. I don't think he would actually condone throwing kids back. It was a joke. If said by a comedian in a comedy club people would laugh. I would laugh. It doesn't mean I want it to happen. It's more like a pressure release. But everyone is different which is why, if you are in the public eye, you have to be a lot more careful about what you like. It's a PC world we live in. 

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1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

I just saw this about Lincoln.  Now I'm waiting for the guys to yell at him over it and Lincoln to cry to Becca about the sad feels from the bullying. 

Poor Becca, what a group she has. 

Nooooo! I don’t believe it. Then again, there was a floor pooper on “Flavor of Love”—right during the first clock ceremony.

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12 hours ago, leighdear said:

I hate those type of videos because they have so much misinformation.  Some of his co-workers have come forward to explain.  Yes, it's disgusting, but those girls are idiots for spreading wrong info, and I don't even like Lincoln. 

I looked around and couldn't find anything that would refute what the girls said, only more details from the co-workers.  What did you read that makes the video wrong info?

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17 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I just saw this about Lincoln.  Now I'm waiting for the guys to yell at him over it and Lincoln to cry to Becca about the sad feels from the bullying. 

Poor Becca, what a group she has. 

That totally made me laugh! 

So disappointing about Lincoln though. I love his hair and an English accent is like catnip to me, I would have put him in the top 5 easily. Now, not so much. I wonder if we will be hearing about a Chicago sunroof next?

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20 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

Perhaps Garrett hadn't realized how liking a post could offend anyone. Hopefully he is more careful from now on. I don't think he would actually condone throwing kids back. It was a joke. If said by a comedian in a comedy club people would laugh. I would laugh. It doesn't mean I want it to happen. It's more like a pressure release. But everyone is different which is why, if you are in the public eye, you have to be a lot more careful about what you like. It's a PC world we live in. 

I am skeptical of Garrett's apology.  By this point, he's been dealing with media fallout for like a week.  It's not like he did this as a kid and was spreading racist Birther memes or 9/11 Conspiracy theories.  The stuff about the Parkland students must have been right before he disappeared into the media black hole of filming the season.

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On 2018-06-06 at 1:18 PM, ByTor said:

I thought he was from Nigeria.

Since there is no mention of living in the U.K. at all in his bio, just moving to Boston as a teen, I am going to assume that he was taught English by an English teacher. I have met quite a few Parisian Francophones that speak English with a British accent. I find it completely charming. The pooping on the floor isn't though, so I want to know more. (I think...)

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8 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

Since there is no mention of living in the U.K. at all in his bio, just moving to Boston as a teen, I am going to assume that he was taught English by an English teacher. I have met quite a few Parisian Francophones that speak English with a British accent. I find it completely charming. The pooping on the floor isn't though, so I want to know more. (I think...)

Nope. they speak english (and many other languages, but primarily english) in Nigeria.  Also, many Nigerian accents sound very British to someone not trained in the subtleties of East vs North London accents.  A Brit would probably never say Nigerians sound english, but an American would.  They sound a lot more british than other anglophone aftican countries, like Kenya or South Africa, but they do sound generally british. 

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On 6/5/2018 at 1:20 PM, Mabinogia said:

I don't know any recent immigrants, but I do have an uncle who is gay, a cousin whose son just came out, I have a mentally handicapped aunt. I know how much jokes can hurt. I also know that the people who laugh at these jokes aren't horrible people just because they don't understand how hurtful the joke is for the very reason that they haven't felt the effects. We all have different life experiences. 

When I hear 'That's so gay" or "you're such a retard" I don't automatically write that person off as hateful, just incredibly ignorant. Ignorance can be fixed. I hope that Garrett's eyes have been opened to the difference between joking around with friends and liking something the public can see. Friends understand when you are joking. The rest of the world doesn't know you well enough. 

Perhaps Garrett hadn't realized how liking a post could offend anyone. Hopefully he is more careful from now on. I don't think he would actually condone throwing kids back. It was a joke. If said by a comedian in a comedy club people would laugh. I would laugh. It doesn't mean I want it to happen. It's more like a pressure release. But everyone is different which is why, if you are in the public eye, you have to be a lot more careful about what you like. It's a PC world we live in. 

Garrett's an adult, not some kid straight off an isolated farm with no world experience.  I refuse to give him a pass on his behavior, it smacks too much of "I'm sure there were good people on both sides" to defend him.

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56 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

So in other words, the fact that these types of messages were even on Garrett's feed for him to like and repost, gives you an idea of the kind of search terms and information he was already entertaining. 

Trouble with that is, you search for something once and you get a million pages regarding that. I bought my stepdad a book about fire safety or some such two years ago and still get all kind of fireman shit on my "you might like" list. I write stories and do a lot of research and get all kinds of crazy shit on my feed because of it. I've also liked and said some things online that don't represent who I am. I am more lenient of what a person does online than what they do IRL. Sadly, most people are starting to lean the opposite way. Doesn't matter who you are in life, if you help victims of violence, if you are BFFs with minorities, etc, it matters what picture you reposted or what joke you liked online.

Welcome to the Brave New World (and that is NOT a good thing). Giving someone the benefit of the doubt about stupid shit he's liked online is different than condoning the things he liked. It's just accepting that this is a new world we are living in and we are all still working on navigating this total lack of privacy we now seem to be embracing. Funny how, in 1984 this invasion was forced upon us but in reality we are begging Big Brother to watch our every move. 

Ironically, I can't stand Garrett. But not for what he liked or didn't like online, but because he comes across as a tool on the show. The online stuff just shows me more what an ignorant meathead he is. Regarding the posts themselves, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the "conservative" girl being some half naked chick. I guess the term conservative has changed a lot since I learned it. lol

  • Love 2

Im...I may "like" some things other dont...but I guarantee NONE are homophobic, racist etc...all of his favorited posts show a pattern, and a certain type of person...its absolutely NOT about 1 random post that some people may find offensive.  Also, his page was public...even if he wasnt famous at the time, ANYONE could see it..bosses, girlfriends etc...Obviously something he wasnt ashamed of, or harmless locker room talk

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On 2018-05-31 at 10:29 AM, Shampognay said:

I agree with this.  And I think that if instead of "offensive" right-wing things, he had liked "offensive" left-wing things (like Kathy Griffin with Trump's head or Keith Olbermann's horrible tweets), we either wouldn't have heard anything about it, or we'd be hearing about what a wonderful guy he is from the people calling him awful now.  

Don't agree with this at all. Offensive tweets or in any other kind of social media are still unpleasant. I don't think anyone actually enjoyed Kathy Griffin's photo for example, it came across as in poor taste without being funny but I don't see it as outrageous because I don't for a minute think she was advocating for violence against the man. Her comedy aims to shock but a majority of it is lame which serves to defang it. Yes, there are some extremists on the left but there has been far more serious threats of violence from the far right. Not conservative leaning but the alt right. If there had been some nasty comments aimed at any group of people by someone with liberal leanings you can bet that also would have been exposed and condemned. 

But generally, the bad behaviour on this show (the Wrong Reasons) comes from trying to exploit the situation for commercial gain, not hating on other people. As far as I remember, anyway. I really do forget all the details by the time the next season rolls around.

  • Love 7
(edited)
11 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

Doesn't matter who you are in life, if you help victims of violence, if you are BFFs with minorities, etc, it matters what picture you reposted or what joke you liked online.

Then make, like and repost posts about helping victims of violence and other good acts one is doing as opposed to perpetuating hate speech and adding to more of the negativity that exists in the world. And by the way, being friends with minorities doesn't automatically negate someone from having and agreeing with offensive and racist rhetoric. You know, kind of how my friend's white friend once joked about her being "good cheap labor". And my friend is not the only minority "friend" this woman has. Helping victims of violence and other good actions matter yes, but so do words and other actions like endorsing hateful speech. It's not a zero-sum game - well you did this one good thing in advocating against women's violence so well it's not so bad that you think calling feminists unattractive dogs, joking about little brown children being thrown over a wall, cracks against transgender.

 

11 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

Welcome to the Brave New World (and that is NOT a good thing). Giving someone the benefit of the doubt about stupid shit he's liked online is different than condoning the things he liked. It's just accepting that this is a new world we are living in and we are all still working on navigating this total lack of privacy we now seem to be embracing. Funny how, in 1984 this invasion was forced upon us but in reality we are begging Big Brother to watch our every move. 

YMMV but this feels like playing semantics and redirecting this to a whole separate issue/topic. The bottom line is, everything we do is a choice. No one HAS to be on social media. Seriously, even if you work in social media. All you have to do is create an account so you can be an admin but you personally, do not have to have a social media page. Garrett made a choice to be on social media, made a choice to have his accounts be public and made a choice to not just like offensive posts but to repost them in an act of endorsing these thoughts and opinions. No one forced him to do that and no one violated his privacy in exposing it. He put it out there. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
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(edited)

Personally, Garrett never impressed me from the moment I saw him in his intro package. Aside from my personal lack of interest in brawny athlete types, I like a guy who is interested in more than just having fun, and it seems like the word "fun" is in every other sentence that comes out of Garrett's mouth, including when he says "Becca seems like a fun girl. She's like me." From what we've been shown, Garrett does not come across as a deep thinker who spends much time pondering the issues of our times. (There's absolutely nothing wrong with that kind of guy, BTW, if that's what floats your boat.)

The reason the Garrett kerfuffle is of any interest, as far as I'm concerned, is because the show purports--or used to--to present worthy candidates for the hand of the Bachelorette.  And so when a suitor turns out to be an offensive, socially insensitive, arguably juvenile knucklehead at the very least, that does make it newsworthy in the Bachelor realm. I have no problem with people discussing Garrett or his shortcomings. 

Fortunately, Garrett's not running for public office, in which scenario his instagram habits would be way more disturbing to me.  Frankly, I'm way more interested at this point in knowing what happened to his first, barely-lasted-six-months marriage.

I will say I'm a little confused about what the "thumbs down"-ers would like to have happen to Garrett.

Some folks have said they wanted an apology. Well, he has apologized. (And I cannot fault that apology.)

My sense, though, is that there are actually people commenting here and elsewhere who feel that Garrett should be--oh, I don't know, maybe pilloried, run out of Vegas,  sent to a re-education program (like the Chinese). People who feel that simply outing him as an ignorant, offensive boob is not sufficient.

So for those of you who feel that an apology is not enough, what would be enough? I'm curious.

Edited by adhoc
  • Love 5

So, this isn't good....

From the linked article:   Lincoln ... was convicted of indecent assault and battery for groping and assaulting an adult female on a harbor cruise ship, according to a statement from the Suffolk County District Attorney’s office.  [He] was convicted on May 21 — one week before The Bachelorette premeired — and sentenced to one year in a house of correction. The incident in question occurred May 30, 2016.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/bachelorette-contestant-convicted-of-indecent-assault-and-battery/ar-AAyB0gC?li=BBnbfcL

(edited)
On 6/5/2018 at 6:38 PM, JenE4 said:

Nooooo! I don’t believe it. Then again, there was a floor pooper on “Flavor of Love”—right during the first clock ceremony.

Wasn’t her name Sumthin’?  She’s sort of my hero for pooping on TV and being able to go out in the world after. 

Wait, Lincoln is the sexy guy.  He pooped on the floor?  Oh man, I can forgive poor Sumthin’, but I can’t get behind a guy who is hot pooping in public.  

What the hell is this season?  Where do they find people?  A really dirty and unkempt Walmart from 1982?

sometimes you have to serve drinks to O.J. Simpson.  These online lynch mobs are as bad as the people they are trying to destroy.  One minute you’re the media darling for bringing down Harvey Weinstein, and the next you’re trashing trans people.  

I fucking hate social media.

Edited by Mu Shu
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2 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

sometimes you have to serve drinks to O.J. Simpson.  These online lynch mobs are as bad as the people they are trying to destroy.  One minute you’re the media darling for bringing down Harvey Weinstein, and the next you’re trashing trans people.  

I fucking hate social media.

Love this! And yeah, they are just digital lynch mobs, waiting for the next person to do something wrong so they can pounce.

This and facebook (because of family in other states) are the only social media I do anymore. And on FB I mostly just follow corgis. Corgis love everyone and make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I tried twitter once. It annoyed me. lol

  • Love 4
On 6/10/2018 at 3:16 PM, truthaboutluv said:

Garrett made a choice to be on social media, made a choice to have his accounts be public

I do not understand all these people who make their pages public.  And yes, I know, they need to be "seen" so they could do Instagram shilling, but why not have 2 pages, a private personal one & a public shilling one? :)

  • Love 5
1 minute ago, ByTor said:

I do not understand all these people who make their pages public.  And yes, I know, they need to be "seen" so they could do Instagram shilling, but why not have 2 pages, a private personal one & a public shilling one? :)

He wasn't even on the show yet so there wasn't even any shilling to be done. That usually comes after they've appeared on the franchise. 

  • Love 1

There is a subset of youngish people who think that they will magically become famous if they get enough random people to follow them on social media. I've known some friends who keep their profile open. They get all excited about the number of random people who like something they post, as if it means they are popular. It is a sad thing, IMO. I have very few FB friends, only people I actually know. I was watching Catfish and apparently this would flag me as a fake, since if I were a real person I'd have a few hundred "friends". I don't think I even know a few hundred people and I know for a fact I don't LIKE that many people. hahahaha At least not enough to find out what they had for breakfast every morning or what they are wearing today. It's such a strange world, this social media driven world. But for some people it is important to broadcast their lives to strangers.

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(edited)
On 6/13/2018 at 2:47 PM, MMLEsq said:

Lincoln ... was convicted of indecent assault and battery for groping and assaulting an adult female on a harbor cruise ship, according to a statement from the Suffolk County District Attorney’s office.  [He] was convicted on May 21 — one week before The Bachelorette premeired — and sentenced to one year in a house of correction. The incident in question occurred May 30, 2016.

This story was on Page Six last night. Lincoln is now a registered sex offender, on SO lists everywhere. Page Six contacted ABC and the Bachelor franchise owner asking how he got on the show at all given they are suppose to do such thorough pre checks, and got a reply that his assault didn't show up in their screening, and they are investigating why it did not. And yes, he was convicted during the show's taping.

I guess we stay tuned to find out if and how the show gets rid of him.

Page Six also said this was the second criminal person that's been on the show. Anyone know who they meant? Not sure if they meant Chris Soules since he killed a man after he was off the show, but he had plenty of drunk and other arrests before.

Edited by saber5055
  • Love 7
7 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

 

Page Six also said this was the second criminal person that's been on the show. Anyone know who they meant? Not sure if they meant Chris Soules since he killed a man after he was off the show, but he had plenty of drunk and other arrests before.

Maybe it was posted in the spoilers thread, but Alex, who was already sent home (and I have no clue which one he was), was convicted of assault for breaking the eye socket of a “friend” who was talking to his girl or something? I’m sure someone will post the actual story. But, yes, Alex’s assault conviction was also occurring during the show, so the “background check” missed TWO of them!

  • Love 7
41 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

This story was on Page Six last night. Lincoln is now a registered sex offender, on SO lists everywhere. Page Six contacted ABC and the Bachelor franchise owner asking how he got on the show at all given they are suppose to do such thorough pre checks, and got a reply that his assault didn't show up in their screening, and they are investigating why it did not.

That's such a bullshit excuse. I'm sure a simple Google search would have uncovered it.

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3 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

or they just don't give a shit so long as that person promises to make "good tv" or get people to tune in because of the scandal to see what everyone is talking about.

My vote goes to this. Then they can plead their background checks didn't show whatever it is, even though any of us could find it via google. Or making a few phone calls if you want to get old school.

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Wait, I believe Alex Templeman is currently named in a battery lawsuit (yes, the link is posted in the Spoilers thread), but so far I have not seen any dates--date when the incident allegedly occurred, date when the lawsuit was filed, etc.). AFAIK, he is accused but not convicted. BTW, he claims he hit back in self defense. (Though what else is he going to say?) 

I'm beginning to think the "vetting," consists of having them take off their shirts and tense their abs.  I always think it's odd when they have a scene like the one where they were dressing in tuxedos  and all the men were ripped.  That may be a normal look for the models and pro-athletes, but software engineers and salesmen don't usually look like that, do they? 

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2 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

I'm beginning to think the "vetting," consists of having them take off their shirts and tense their abs.  I always think it's odd when they have a scene like the one where they were dressing in tuxedos  and all the men were ripped.  That may be a normal look for the models and pro-athletes, but software engineers and salesmen don't usually look like that, do they? 

No, they don't.

  • Love 7
5 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

That may be a normal look for the models and pro-athletes, but software engineers and salesmen don't usually look like that, do they? 

I think it's safe to say that retired race-car drivers don't look like that either.

I've dated tennis pros, water ski competitors, snow skiiers, swimmers, bike racers ... while all were athletes, none of them were "ripped." Don't look for any of them on this show then!

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6 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Baby Bekah and Raven are fighting on Twitter over the Colton/Tia situation. Bekah is in her element, saying how much she loves Twitter feuds and reminding everyone how young she is.

Ooh! That’s actually a really good theory that is so obvious I’m amazed that none of us thought of it: Tia and Colton (and producers?) set the whole thing up for Tia and Colton to get engaged in Paradise. The only problem is, I thought he had already dumped Tia for Aly Raisman, then dumped Aly to go on this show?   But I guess when you’re Wrong Reasons, you’ll do anything for a bit of notoriety.

  • Love 4

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