S02.E10: The Weddings

[Whimsy]

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

Shayne:  I didn't like Shayne from the get-go.  

     I hated the way he kept asking Shaina what she was wearing, then nearly simulating sex acts with her based on her crop tops and short shorts.  Just.  Ick.  Then the way he handled the "I was hoping it was you, Shaina" when it was Natalie, was just awful.  He never truly owned it, never took accountability, and finally mumbled an apology.  I thought Natalie should have dropped him from then.

    His awkward constant gestures + his lack of socks + holes in jeans + his "I don't believe in 401K's"  = a big no from me.  

 

Shake:  I didn't like Shake from the get-go.  

     The way he kept asking women "Would I be able to put you on my shoulders at a concert?" as a way to assess their weight was disgusting.  I hated the way he kept calling Deepti, "Deeps".  You don't even like this woman, yet you're coining a nickname for her that no one else uses?

      Shake's handling of Deepti's "No" at the alter was despicable.  Show some class, dude.  Smiling, laughing, saying if he had said yes, she'd have said yes.  Really?  Enjoy Nobu, you fool.  If I had a pet, I wouldn't take it to Shake as a vet.  Maybe a lizard.

 

Salvadore:  From the first moment he mentioned his singing, and that "unfortunately", he was unable to make a career out of it, I thought.....oh jeez, here we go.  Another Social Media wanna-be.  Cue the ukelele.  Cue the singing roommate duo.  Cue the "I'm such a good guy, but followers would be nice".   Every time he sang, I wanted to hide out of cringe embarrassment.  

Iyanna:  Adorable.  Giggles and all.  I do hope they make it.  Loved watching them jump over the broom.

Nick & Danielle - Disaster.  Waiting to happen.  Am I the only one who noticed his leather halter vest thing when he opened his closet?  Like, a literal closet, but, um.....Nick, I know it would be hard to tell your stone-faced mom, but life would be so much better for you if you did. 

I actually agree with your entire post, except it seems that Deeps is a nickname she’s used herself.
 

I will admit that, for one episode, I thought that maybe Shayne and Natalie would work but he quickly quashed that. He’s immature, has an anger management problem, drinks too much and just … is a no for me. 

[Starlight925]

28 minutes ago, Whimsy said:

I actually agree with your entire post, except it seems that Deeps is a nickname she’s used herself.

Oh, interesting.  I must have missed that!  

[Chicago Redshirt]

7 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

I am very curious how things will go at the reunion. Deepti seemed genuinely hurt by Shake, but I'm a little perplexed by it. She knew he wasn't physically attracted to her. Even if she didn't know he was talking to other people about it, she knew from his actions that the physical connection wasn't there and they talked about it at least a bit. But in her interviews about choosing herself, she seemed to be framing it like Shake did something mean to her as opposed to what I think it really was--the chemistry just wasn't there in real life. They probably should have broken up after Mexico rather than try to force something to work that wasn't working.

We've all talked a lot about Danielle, Nick, and even Shayne benefiting from good therapy, but I wonder if Deepti may need it, too. There have been hints all along that she's very self-sacrificing. Maybe she needs to choose herself more in more aspects of her life.

I don't read Deepti as being hurt by Shake's attitude so much as other factors.

She comes from a culture where arranged marriages are common, and Shake checks a lot of boxes: he's a well-to-do doctor, he's charming and presentable, ambitious and smart. has a good family. and he did seem to be fun and to care for her. 

Although we didn't so much see it, I would imagine that there was some element of inner and outer pressure to build a life with him regardless of the physical attraction because others have made matches over far less. Making a decision to reject that and strive for a partner who actually loves her physically, emotionally and intellectually is probably a bigger deal for her than it would be for the average person. 

It's also worth noting that Deeps has not dated Indian guys before, so she may also have less animal attraction to Shake and she might also have some internalized racism to deal with.

[deSchenke]

59 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

It's also worth noting that Deeps has not dated Indian guys before, so she may also have less animal attraction to Shake and she might also have some internalized racism to deal with.

That's a really good observation. Shake told everyone he wasn't physically attracted to her. She may not have been physically attracted to him either, but had the courtesy of keeping that to herself. It wasn't like she was complaining to her friends or to the producers about how sexually frustrated she was, or wondering why Shake didn't put the moves on her. They apparently weren't sexual and she seemed fine about it.

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

It's also worth noting that Deeps has not dated Indian guys before, so she may also have less animal attraction to Shake and she might also have some internalized racism to deal with.

Maybe.  But as others have pointed out, Indian guys like Shake are not uncommon.  It's possible she only dated non-Indians because Indian guys didn't show interest in her.  Sometimes who we date is determined by who is interested in us the most more than who we're willing to date. 

And she seemed like she was trying to get close to him in Mexico where he was pulling back already.

It also sounds like she started hearing what he was telling other people.  And even though we didn't see it, his friend telling him "what do you think you'll look like in 20 or 30 years" made me think he might have been saying more than "she reminds me of my aunt" and being more critical about what she looks like or might look like in the future. 

[Zuleikha]

2 hours ago, deSchenke said:

 They apparently weren't sexual and she seemed fine about it.

I don't think she was fine with it. She had several interviews where she expressed frustration and confusion about why they weren't very physical with each other. I swear there was one talking head where she explicitly said that she wanted the Shake of the reveal back.

[DearEvette]

21 hours ago, deSchenke said:

hat's a really good observation. Shake told everyone he wasn't physically attracted to her. She may not have been physically attracted to him either, but had the courtesy of keeping that to herself. It wasn't like she was complaining to her friends or to the producers about how sexually frustrated she was, or wondering why Shake didn't put the moves on her. They apparently weren't sexual and she seemed fine about it.

My memory was that she was very ready to have sex with him in Mexico.  I went back and looked at Ep. 4.  And sure enough,  when they got to Mexico, there is a scene in their hotel  pool and she is all over him.  Jumping on him, kissing him.  You can tell she is ready to get bizzay!  He, otoh,  begins to get a deer in the headlights look and isn't as into it as she is despite saying all the right words.  The body language is striking, she is clinging and kissing, he is trying to gently pull away and honestly it looks like he is chugging his champagne to get away from her lips. 

The next day when they wake up she does a bathroom talking head where she says "Oh we kept it PG-13 last night and we're not ready to take that step yet." but her face read as disappointed, like she was trying to convince herself.  So don't  I don't think she was fine with it.  I think she told herself she was fine with it in an effort to go at his pace. 

[William2021]

Shake dodged a bullet. Any woman that says "he will realise he lost the best thing in his life" and "I choose myself" is a woman with an inflated ego that puts herself on a pedestal. She put all the pressure on him, and none on herself — as if she's perfect and the problems are only with him. She was the one that said no, and yet carries bitterness, as Shake tries to brush it off while saving some dignity. If anything, this experience will reinforce his prior preferences.

Shayne and Natalie: I think Natalie is against any compromise at all times and she is more suited to a boring finance guy that's always predictable.

A big problem is too many have a "what can I get from you" mentality, whereas the men have a "what can I give you" mentality. The selfish meet the simps.

My biggest surprise was with Sal and Mallory. When he said no, and she said "it's okay" while wiping his tears just tells us that all the editing in the prior episodes were misleading.

Edited February 27, 2022 by William2021

[deSchenke]

3 hours ago, DearEvette said:

My memory was that she was very ready to have sex with him in Mexico.  I went back and looked at Ep. 4.  And sure enough,  when they got to Mexico, there is a scene in their hotel  pool and she is all over him.  Jumping on him, kissing him.  You can tell she is ready to get bizzay!  He, otoh,  begins to get a deer in the headlights look and isn't as into it as she is despite saying all the right words.  The body language is striking, she is clinging and kissing, he is trying to gently pull away and honestly it looks like he is chugging his champagne to get away from her lips. 

The next day when they wake up she does a bathroom talking head where she says "Oh we kept it PG-13 last night and we're not ready to take that step yet." but her face read as disappointed, like she was trying to convince herself.  So don't  I don't think she was fine with it.  I think she told herself she was fine with it in an effort to go at his pace. 

Bolding mine.

Talking about sex/lack of it, or desire/lack of it, wasn't on the forefront of Deepti's conversations. OTOH, seemed like in every conversation Shake had, he would talk about how he wasn't attracted to Deepti. He clearly talked about it to Shayne. He stated 3 or 4 times she felt like an Aunt to him, or reminded him of his Aunt. Maybe it was editing, but seemed like that was all he talked about.

[DearEvette]

Yeah, his "animal attraction" or lack thereof very definitely was their storyline hook.  So I think production really played that up every chance they got.  To the detriment, imo, of not really showing any of Deepti's real thoughts about that.  In some of the post-wedding interviews she speaks about that a bit and what they didn't show.

It is interesting because I think the 'storyline' the producers craft for the couples can really hide or detract from the real issues that plague them.

For instance, imo, I think they were so gleeful to get another triangle a la Amber/Barnett/Jessica for Natalie/Shayne/Shana that they missed some opportunities to show Shayne's issues.  They hinted at them but it feels like they were careful to make them issues of insecurity rather than anger or lashing out.  The most we got was his irrational anger at the baseball game, but that seemed about the game.  It would have been nice to know if he had targeted Natalie with that sort of anger before the unseen argument before the wedding.

[Hpmec]

On 2/26/2022 at 7:47 AM, Starlight925 said:

Shayne:  I didn't like Shayne from the get-go.  

     I hated the way he kept asking Shaina what she was wearing, then nearly simulating sex acts with her based on her crop tops and short shorts.  Just.  Ick.  Then the way he handled the "I was hoping it was you, Shaina" when it was Natalie, was just awful.  He never truly owned it, never took accountability, and finally mumbled an apology.  I thought Natalie should have dropped him from then.

    His awkward constant gestures + his lack of socks + holes in jeans + his "I don't believe in 401K's"  = a big no from me.  

 

Shake:  I didn't like Shake from the get-go.  

     The way he kept asking women "Would I be able to put you on my shoulders at a concert?" as a way to assess their weight was disgusting.  I hated the way he kept calling Deepti, "Deeps".  You don't even like this woman, yet you're coining a nickname for her that no one else uses?

      Shake's handling of Deepti's "No" at the alter was despicable.  Show some class, dude.  Smiling, laughing, saying if he had said yes, she'd have said yes.  Really?  Enjoy Nobu, you fool.  If I had a pet, I wouldn't take it to Shake as a vet.  Maybe a lizard.

 

Salvadore:  From the first moment he mentioned his singing, and that "unfortunately", he was unable to make a career out of it, I thought.....oh jeez, here we go.  Another Social Media wanna-be.  Cue the ukelele.  Cue the singing roommate duo.  Cue the "I'm such a good guy, but followers would be nice".   Every time he sang, I wanted to hide out of cringe embarrassment.  

Iyanna:  Adorable.  Giggles and all.  I do hope they make it.  Loved watching them jump over the broom.

Nick & Danielle - Disaster.  Waiting to happen.  Am I the only one who noticed his leather halter vest thing when he opened his closet?  Like, a literal closet, but, um.....Nick, I know it would be hard to tell your stone-faced mom, but life would be so much better for you if you did. 

I am on the same page as you, especially regarding Nick. I think his stone-faced mom knows or suspects, has made it clear she does not approve, and that's a big part of his issues. She looked reasonably happy that he said "yes." He mentioned he was raised Catholic and that may make him feel very conflicted. I agree he should be true to himself and it isn't fair to Danielle who, if she hasn't already, will catch on eventually. 

[JTMacc99]

On 2/26/2022 at 12:15 PM, Whimsy said:

I will admit that, for one episode, I thought that maybe Shayne and Natalie would work but he quickly quashed that. He’s immature, has an anger management problem, drinks too much and just … is a no for me.

I realize I'm just echoing things many other people have said, but the way he handled the incident in the pods was all the evidence anybody should have ever needed to walk away from a relationship with him.

I think there are things to like about him, but that shit was not the way a person with a kind heart acts. 

[NeenerNeener]

5 hours ago, deSchenke said:

Maybe it was editing, but seemed like that was all he talked about

If that really was a crew member on the Reddit AMA, they said Shake asked for a "villain" edit and was planning on saying no to Deepti's yes. I don't know what kind of "clout" you get for being an a**hole on Netflix or why anyone would want it, though.

Anyway, I was telling my cube mate about how beautiful Deepti's lehenga was and she checked the episode out just to see it. She gave Deepti props for looking stunning while publically humiliating Shake.

 

[Zuleikha]

Talking about sex/lack of it, or desire/lack of it, wasn't on the forefront of Deepti's conversations. OTOH, seemed like in every conversation Shake had, he would talk about how he wasn't attracted to Deepti.

Deepti not talking about lack of attraction or questionable attraction with Shake in as many conversations as he did doesn't mean she was fine with it. She did mention being confused and unhappy about the lack of intimacy in talking heads. She did not seem fine with it. She simply had a kinder way of talking about it.

For me, I feel like Shake's getting a bad rap from fans and Deepti for his show behavior, but if the crew member AMA is to be believed, he deserves it anyway. I don't think what he actually said (as aired) was bad. He was supposed to talk about the relationship, and it was a big issue that he was not sexually attracted to Deepti. He never called her ugly or even blamed her for it. He generally presented it as a mystery that he was frustrated by. But if he really did say her loose skin should be studied by science or that it was a struggle because he'd never dated anyone over 110? That's pretty bad. It makes me wonder what positive qualities Deepti saw in him to ever consider marrying him.

[greeneyedscorpio]

On 2/25/2022 at 5:48 AM, NeenerNeener said:

Yeah, mine too, especially Deeps telling Shake to take a hike when he was ready to say yes. I thought thousands of years of cultural conditioning would win out. 

Yay for Natalie running away from Shayne! She should have dumped him just for not wearing socks to his own wedding.

She should've dumped him for tweaking at the alter!  Dude was high at his wedding!

[Irlandesa]

2 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

I feel like Shake's getting a bad rap from fans and Deepti for his show behavior

I think part of it is also his social media behavior. And I think Deepti is also basing it on in person stuff. She seemed pretty fed up with him when she talked about their relationship at the bachelorette parties.

2 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

He was supposed to talk about the relationship, and it was a big issue that he was not sexually attracted to Deepti. He never called her ugly or even blamed her for it.

But he set himself up for the critique by being the person in the beginning who kept asking people if he could carry them on his shoulders and talking about how he only dated blondes. And then he said she felt like an aunt.  Not even a sister but an aunt.  I also think he may have talked about whether or not she was host enough for him or would be in the future which is what prompted his friend to ask him to think about what he'd look like in 20 years.  I don't think he'd be talking about looks if Shake was solely focused on not clicking with her.

[suzeecat]

I just watched the weddings/non-weddings.  Sorry, but I haven't visited these forums during the season and apologize if this has been brought up before, but:

When I see Shane I see Gary Busey.  Can't shake the image. 

[Jax7917]

12 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

 

Deepti not talking about lack of attraction or questionable attraction with Shake in as many conversations as he did doesn't mean she was fine with it. She did mention being confused and unhappy about the lack of intimacy in talking heads. She did not seem fine with it. She simply had a kinder way of talking about it.

For me, I feel like Shake's getting a bad rap from fans and Deepti for his show behavior, but if the crew member AMA is to be believed, he deserves it anyway. I don't think what he actually said (as aired) was bad. He was supposed to talk about the relationship, and it was a big issue that he was not sexually attracted to Deepti. He never called her ugly or even blamed her for it. He generally presented it as a mystery that he was frustrated by. But if he really did say her loose skin should be studied by science or that it was a struggle because he'd never dated anyone over 110? That's pretty bad. It makes me wonder what positive qualities Deepti saw in him to ever consider marrying him.

I think that if Shake had just said that he doesn't feel an attraction to her , that would have sufficed. But he was mean-spirited with the constant "she reminds me of my aunt" and "I don't feel an ANIMALISTIC attraction toward her." He was getting on my nerves with the word animalistic because it made him sound so shallow and like a frat brother. When I met my husband, I wasn't madly, deeply and insanely attracted, but I thought he was cute and getting to know him, the attraction kept growing. Plus, I always felt that when you're TOO attracted and way too into someone's looks, it's generally a lust thing  rather than being in love with the person and that will wear off. Shake needs to grow up and realize that if he wants a porn star and not a wife, then don't go on a show called "love is blind." I say the same thing about people who sign up for Married at First Sight and then are disappointed by the looks of their spouse. You chose this based on not wanting to be shallow so why are you being so shallow? 

[Zuleikha]

Quote

But he was mean-spirited with the constant "she reminds me of my aunt" and "I don't feel an ANIMALISTIC attraction toward her."

I'm clearly anomalous, but neither of those things seem mean spirited to me. They seem descriptive. What's insulting about reminding someone of their aunt? Or saying that you don't feel an animalistic attraction? It just is what it is. I don't think it's intrinsically shallow because it's about chemistry, not about appearance. 

Shake also did try to see if the attraction would grow, possibly longer than was good for either him or Deepti. He planned the sensual massage and sushi date. But the attraction simply never developed. Breaking up was the right thing to do, but I don't think Shake wronged Deepti in any way by not being attracted to her or by talking about the relationship honestly. I think her family's whole "we welcomed you into our home" is ridiculous given the whole context of cameras and the show. The show asked the families to meet the prospective spouses; Shake did not independently request to meet Deepti's family as a sign of how serious he was about marrying her.

ETA: For clarity's sake, above comments are confined to show only. Shake's post-show social media behavior is increasingly weird and potentially boundary crossing.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Zuleikha

[William2021]

42 minutes ago, Zuleikha said:

I'm clearly anomalous, but neither of those things seem mean spirited to me. They seem descriptive. What's insulting about reminding someone of their aunt? Or saying that you don't feel an animalistic attraction? It just is what it is. I don't think it's intrinsically shallow because it's about chemistry, not about appearance. 

Shake also did try to see if the attraction would grow, possibly longer than was good for either him or Deepti. He planned the sensual massage and sushi date. But the attraction simply never developed. Breaking up was the right thing to do, but I don't think Shake wronged Deepti in any way by not being attracted to her or by talking about the relationship honestly. I think her family's whole "we welcomed you into our home" is ridiculous given the whole context of cameras and the show. The show asked the families to meet the prospective spouses; Shake did not independently request to meet Deepti's family as a sign of how serious he was about marrying her.

This is why I feel bad for Shake. So much of the hate towards him is unwarranted, especially as most are from the type that never read past the headline and blindly side by the woman no matter what.

If anything, I hope this experience reinforces Shakes prior preferences as he'd never get all this BS if he just stuck to his preferred type.

He almost forced himself to pursue a woman that wasn't his type hoping that it would blossom into something. In the end she left him at the altar. Even worse, she still seems bitter. He tried to save face and his dignity when she left, yet some viewers still see him as wrong — would you prefer he just dig himself into a hole?

Shake if you're reading forums you were right all along, I would stick to skinny blonde white women. Remember the trauma that Deepti put you through.

Edited February 28, 2022 by William2021

[Chicago Redshirt]

44 minutes ago, Zuleikha said:

I'm clearly anomalous, but neither of those things seem mean spirited to me. They seem descriptive. What's insulting about reminding someone of their aunt? Or saying that you don't feel an animalistic attraction? It just is what it is. I don't think it's intrinsically shallow because it's about chemistry, not about appearance. 

Shake also did try to see if the attraction would grow, possibly longer than was good for either him or Deepti. He planned the sensual massage and sushi date. But the attraction simply never developed. Breaking up was the right thing to do, but I don't think Shake wronged Deepti in any way by not being attracted to her or by talking about the relationship honestly. I think her family's whole "we welcomed you into our home" is ridiculous given the whole context of cameras and the show. The show asked the families to meet the prospective spouses; Shake did not independently request to meet Deepti's family as a sign of how serious he was about marrying her.

ETA: For clarity's sake, above comments are confined to show only. Shake's post-show social media behavior is increasingly weird and potentially boundary crossing.

What brings it in the realm of mean-spirited IMO are two things:

1. Shake did not seemingly directly say these things to Deepti and try to work through them with her. Now it could be that he did and all of that was left on the cutting room floor. But that seems hard for me to believe. From what was shown, what he talked about was more like "I don't feel the constant desire to have sex with you" which is different from saying there's absolutely no physical attraction or actual repulsion as there would be with one's aunt (unless she is played by Marisa Tomei, but I digress). He didn't, it seems like to me, discuss the issue with Deepti with the full honesty it deserved.

2. Shake went out of his way to say that he found her unappealing to anyone who would listen who was not Deepti or one of her relatives. Off the top of my head, he said it in several interviews, in conversations with Nick, Shayne and Jarrette (wonder why Sal and Kyle got left out, or maybe they didn't), his mother and his friends. Even if he had been able to have a frank discussion about his lack of attraction to her, knowing that at some point Deeps would watch the show and see him repeatedly talking about this with others would likely be very hurtful.

I suppose one could give him the benefit of the doubt and say that the behavior described is more self-centered/clueless than mean-spirited, but I am not particularly so inclined, especially in combination. If he had discussed the lack of attraction more fully with Deepti and still blabbed to everyone, then I could see Shake as an oversharer. Or if he had not discussed the lack of attraction with a limited pool of people, then I could see his failure to discuss it with Deepti as a reflection that he finds it a difficult subject to talk about or he had trouble getting his hands around the problem (just like he had trouble getting his hands around Deepti, hey-yo!). But nope, he had no problem being frank with people who were not Deepti and he had no problem holding back the full truth from her.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Chicago Redshirt

[Rlb8031]

24 minutes ago, William2021 said:

He almost forced himself to pursue a woman that wasn't his type hoping that it would blossom into something. In the end she left him at the altar. Even worse, she still seems bitter. He tried to save face and his dignity when she left, yet some viewers still see him as wrong — would you prefer he just dig himself into a hole?

He didn't "force" himself. Dude knew from the time he heard her name that the odds that she was a brown girl were pretty high (I've never met a blonde, blue-eyed Deepti). If he really believed that he couldn't make a connection with a non-white girl then he could have screened her out, the same way he screened out Iyanna, who was probably one of the few ladies there that was actually tiny enough that she passed his "could I put you on my shoulders" test. I'm having a hard time understanding what in his current situation is inherently different if the girl he had selected was a similar body type and size as Deeps, but was a white girl with dark hair vs. a brown girl with dark hair. He would have found some other excuse, because deep down the issue isn't with who Deepti is, its about Shake not being able to get past who she is not.

[Zuleikha]

  He would have found some other excuse, because deep down the issue isn't with who Deepti is, its about Shake not being able to get past who she is not.

But when did Shake ever say otherwise? He praised Deepti's character to the skies and constantly talked about what a wonderful, amazing person she is. He never blamed her for his lack of attraction or said it was because of who she is. He never even said it was about her appearance being lacking.

I'm honestly not sure whether the issue is that he thought her appearance was lacking. The crew member AMA is now unverified and has multiple falsehoods identified. The comments about him mocking her loose skin and larger-than-110-ness now seem as likely to be false as true. He complimented her appearance at both reveal and wedding. The two semi-specific comments he made about the lack of attraction were that she reminded him of his aunt and that he was nervous about ruining the best friendship. For all we know, his issues were that he doesn't know how to connect with a woman physically when he's already connected with her emotionally and intellectually. Or maybe he just has a hella strong attraction to blondness in the way that people can have very specific attractions.

[Irlandesa]

5 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

What's insulting about reminding someone of their aunt?

I've already stated my piece about how more was probably said based on how others responded to him but I will add that describing a romantic partner as an "aunt" is pretty odd.  I've heard "she feels like a sister" but not aunt.  And then you add in the fact that they're Indian and "auntie" has a whole slew of other connotations.

I think a lot of us would feel insulted to hear a romantic interest describe us like an aunt, uncle, mother or father repeatedly to all his friends.  It'd be one thing if he just said they're not clicking romantically but throwing in that she's like an "aunt" does imply it's something with her.  "Aunt" ages her.  "Aunt" implies it's not happening because she's not young and tight even though she's younger than he is.

5 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

ETA: For clarity's sake, above comments are confined to show only. Shake's post-show social media behavior is increasingly weird and potentially boundary crossing.

I think his social media behavior has gone beyond boundary crossing. 

[DearEvette]

5 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

I'm clearly anomalous, but neither of those things seem mean spirited to me. They seem descriptive. What's insulting about reminding someone of their aunt? Or saying that you don't feel an animalistic attraction? It just is what it is. I don't think it's intrinsically shallow because it's about chemistry, not about appearance. 

Shake also did try to see if the attraction would grow, possibly longer than was good for either him or Deepti. He planned the sensual massage and sushi date. But the attraction simply never developed. Breaking up was the right thing to do, but I don't think Shake wronged Deepti in any way by not being attracted to her or by talking about the relationship honestly.

I hear what you're saying in regards nothing Shake did as being consciously malicious or wrongful.  But even as an objective observer someone speaking their truth can still be quite hurtful. It can't be easy to know that the man who has asked her to marry him doesn't find her sexually attractive (or worse thinks of her as his own aunt).  And while he may not have been purposely insulting by it, that doesn't preclude her from still feeling insulted.  Add to that,  it is something that is going to be witnessed by millions of people.  And then add to that his oft stated preference of blonde white women (not just white women, but blonde white women).  All of those things put together paints a picture.  Nothing happens in a vacuum.  And if Deepti had been much heavier than she is now, she might still be dealing with some body or beauty image issues , especially given how inundated we are with the supposed beauty ideal of white women.  Again, this is nothing that you can point to and say Shake did that was bad per se, but it a cumulative thing that accretes.

And that is just what we saw.  Even though we only saw one vague conversation he had with Deepti regarding that dreaded 'animal attraction'  that doesn't touch what she may have perceived from his behavior around her.

[Zuleikha]

2 hours ago, DearEvette said:

  And while he may not have been purposely insulting by it, that doesn't preclude her from still feeling insulted. 

Of course, it doesn't preclude her from feeling insulted. No one loves not being desired by someone they want to desire them. But it also is what it is. They got engaged sight unseen, and when it came to the real world, he turned out not to feel sexual attraction to her. That's the risk of the show. Deepti signed up for an experiment in which love may or may not be blind, and in her relationship, it wasn't. 

Deepti's body image issues are also not Shake's responsibility to fix, nor would it be kind or responsible for him pretend to be sexually attracted to her when he wasn't, even if he were capable of that kind of pretense. I, personally, think it's good that he wasn't capable of the pretense and that he didn't have sex with her when he wasn't attracted to her. 

[snarts]

10 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

Deepti's body image issues are also not Shake's responsibility to fix, nor would it be kind or responsible for him pretend to be sexually attracted to her when he wasn't, even if he were capable of that kind of pretense. I, personally, think it's good that he wasn't capable of the pretense and that he didn't have sex with her when he wasn't attracted to her. 

Nobody is suggesting that he fake attraction, they're merely reacting to the way he chose to express his lack of it. There was no requirement that he tell any and everyone just how unattractive he found her. You don't do that to someone you claim you care about.

He handled the situation poorly and from what I've heard continues to do so. IMO, that makes him deserving the backlash he's now receiving. You reap what you sow.

[NeenerNeener]

I would love to see all of Shake's conversations with all of the women. At least two of the women, Shaina and Kara, were his preferred type if he could have actually seen them.  Why did he end up spending so much time with Deepti if he's not into Indian girls? He must have known she was Indian, so why did he bother proposing to her if he only wanted blonde white girls?

[Irlandesa]

58 minutes ago, NeenerNeener said:

I would love to see all of Shake's conversations with all of the women. At least two of the women, Shaina and Kara, were his preferred type if he could have actually seen them.  Why did he end up spending so much time with Deepti if he's not into Indian girls? He must have known she was Indian, so why did he bother proposing to her if he only wanted blonde white girls?

From what I remember about the way it worked last season, they meet with everyone on the first day.  Or maybe two days?  After that day, they rank the people they'd like to speak with again.  If that person also ranks them, they get scheduled a pod date.  But if either one doesn't have the other on their card, then there are no more dates. 

I imagine Shake probably turned off a lot of people with his "could I carry you on my shoulders at a music festival" talk where he was clearly sussing out their size/weight.  Do you think a guy named Abhishek is going to land on Shaina's list?  And Kara seemed to suss out Shayne pretty quickly. I bet Shake turned her off too.

[NeenerNeener]

44 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

I imagine Shake probably turned off a lot of people with his "could I carry you on my shoulders at a music festival" talk where he was clearly sussing out their size/weight.  Do you think a guy named Abhishek is going to land on Shaina's list?  And Kara seemed to suss out Shayne pretty quickly. I bet Shake turned her off too.

I still want to see what he did to turn off everybody but Deepti. He should probably watch it too, to see what he's been doing wrong with blonde girls for the last 15 years. I'm assuming he wasn't as big of a jerk with Deepti because he wasn't that invested or interested, but why go all the way to the proposal just for air time. Maybe the producers hinted that they'd like to film an Indian wedding?

Edited March 2, 2022 by NeenerNeener

[silverspoons]

On 2/25/2022 at 3:52 PM, Norby said:

🤣 Yes!

If the horrible things Shayne said to Natalie the night before weren’t a big enough red flag, those exposed ankles should have sent her running.

Plus those looked like the rental black shiny shoes from the tux shop, so double yuck for the no socks. I noticed he choose the blue/black tux color combo also choosen by 2 married at first sight grooms, Brandon (Talyor) and Chris Ble$$ed Williams and those were some of the worst marriages in the history of the show. Lucky color for the production company. 

[Chicago Redshirt]

11 hours ago, NeenerNeener said:

I still want to see what he did to turn off everybody but Deepti. He should probably watch it too, to see what he's been doing wrong with blonde girls for the last 15 years. I'm assuming he wasn't as big of a jerk with Deepti because he wasn't that invested or interested, but why go all the way to the proposal just for air time. Maybe the producers hinted that they'd like to film an Indian wedding?

I will give Shake some benefit of the doubt.

It's not clear from what we saw that he turned everybody off but Deepti, or indeed, that he permanently turned anyone off. Yes, some people were shown being taken aback by his "could I lift you on my shoulders" BS, including Deepti. But it could be that some, or even most, of the girls could/did get past that. For all we know, many of the girls had Shake as a high choice and he ended up passing them over to focus on Deepti or for other reasons. Or they would have been fine dating Shake but were more interested in other guys and so they cut him. Honestly, I wish there was like one or two more episodes that was just about the pod discussions, including people who don't make the final five or six. 

Also, Shake didn't necessarily have to do anything to turn off other people. It could just be that there wasn't that emotional spark, or they could have felt it stronger from other people. Or they could have their own issues and prejudices cause them to not be interested in marrying an Indian guy. 

And we don't know if Shake has been doing anything "wrong" while dating blondes up till now. I don't think we heard anything from the show about his past relationships with blondes, or if he even had had actual relationships as opposed to lusty flings that were fun while they lasted. It could be a whole range of things that broke any of them up, from indeed his personality/actions to his dates' personality/actions, the notion that he wasn't looking for something serious with them, culture/money/race clashes, etc. etc. 

[mirandroid]

On 2/25/2022 at 8:56 PM, dingochick said:

Mad props for Deepti having her Kelly Taylor moment. She’s got dignity, class, and can cuss like a sailor, she’s the total package. I hope she finds someone worthy of her. 

 

 

Ha, I said something similar at work and my younger coworkers had no idea what I meant.

Shake. Good lord. So happy Deepti walked out but he was obviously a bit butthurt and decided to revert into complete and total douche mode.

Natalie dodged a bullet. I'm waiting to hear at the reunion that Ol' Sockless is dating Shaina. What a mess.

[BoogieBurns]

On 2/27/2022 at 11:22 AM, William2021 said:

A big problem is too many have a "what can I get from you" mentality, whereas the men have a "what can I give you" mentality. The selfish meet the simps.

No. What? We could not have been watching the same show. 

Tell me what Shayne, Shake, or Salvador were "giving" their brides

Also, Deeps didn't seem bitter in the least. She was just proud of herself. Happiest I've seen her.

[Kdawg82]

Oh man! I'm in tears watching Deepti & her mom when she made her decision. I wish I had a mom like that. Well, Deepti deserves such nice parents. But that mom is just a straight up GOOD WOMAN. 

Shake came off as a little punk. Sorry. Just a punk. I'd say bi**h but that's an insult to all bi**h's out here. 

[procrasstinator]

16 hours ago, BoogieBurns said:

 

Tell me what Shayne, Shake, or Salvador were "giving" their brides

 

Hmm.  Shayne gave Natalie self doubt and verbal abuse.  Shake gave Deepti the knowledge of who her true friends are.  Salvador gave Mallory a lot of judgment and blame when it was him who said no to her....They really were willing to give and give and give.

On 3/2/2022 at 10:41 AM, mirandroid said:

Natalie dodged a bullet. I'm waiting to hear at the reunion that Ol' Sockless is dating Shaina.

Ol' Sockless.  Just about spit out my coffee.

[Cornhusker12]

I was fully rooting for Shayne and Natalie and I think in a very different circumstance they could've made it work, but obviously I fully support Natalie saying no. I think they (shockingly) DID seem compatible for awhile there, but clearly there are major issues that don't really lend themselves to a 6 week relationship ending in marriage.  Shayne is extremely strange, but I actually think he's a good person deep down. He also has some deep insecurities that clearly become serious issues and Natalie is under no obligation to jump into a marriage with him.

The blowup seems to have happened like this:

1. Shayne is partying with the boys at the bachelor party, everybody's chugging brews having a great time at Wrigley, he's probably super hyper (as always) because he thinks he's gonna hit a home run and get cheers from all of his friends. Unfortunately he faceplants in front of everyone instead, as we've seen many times he gets very embarrassed very easily and whiffing on all those pitches makes him angry and overwhelmed, which in turn makes him get more even drunk.

2. He gets home after the bachelor party totally fucked up and probably rambling because he's always hyper (not excusing this behavior), Natalie said that she asked him if he had too much to drink which apparently set him off even more and he had a blacked out freakout and she was the person there to receive his ranting and raving. 

3. The wedding was the next day, I wouldn't be surprised if he was super hung over/still kinda drunk and maybe didn't even remember what exactly went down the previous night. Instead of talking through what happened that morning and maybe figuring out some next steps they had their WEDDING to get ready for, so there was no time to come to any conclusion OTHER than saying no. Again, I fully support Natalie's decision here. 

When they talked after the wedding, I thought he had the vibe of someone who didn't know the extent of his actions the night before. Again, this is a perfectly valid reason to say no at the altar! But it's something that I could imagine POTENTIALLY being worked out if they had a stronger foundation than a 6 week relationship. I'm curious to see what their vibe is like at the reunion.

[Cornhusker12]

As for Sal and Mallory, I think they had love for each other but not in a romantic relationship kind of way. Clearly he was a fine upstanding classy guy and Mallory seemed to be trying to envision their potential life together, but it seemed like Mallory was always craving a little bit more energy and spontaneity from him, even though she appreciated his effort and gestures.

It actually reminded me of a certain kind of high school almost-romance, where Mallory is a cool senior and Sal is an extremely nice but quiet sophomore, and they strike up an unlikely friendship in class and he asks her out and she thinks it's flattering and cute and has genuine fondness for him, but in the end she's an outgoing senior and he's a reserved sophomore so she tells him he's gonna make some other girl very happy someday. I think Sal ended up feeling that vibe too, which is why he ended up being the one to say no. I thought it was really cool of him to address her friends and family afterwards, and I really enjoyed his relationship with his siblings too.

[Kdawg82]

This is a legitimate question to all of YOU watching this & in the world:

Do people really speak this way? "I fu**ing love you," "I'm so fu**ing happy," "you're going to be my fu**ing wife," "you fu**ing make me so happy."

I really wonder. I've never heard the use of the "f" word in such contexts. Usually anger or passion of some sort. But using the word in proposals or expressions of love or so casually etc is weird and cringe to me 

[DearEvette]

1 minute ago, Kdawg82 said:

This is a legitimate question to all of YOU watching this & in the world:

Do people really speak this way? "I fu**ing love you," "I'm so fu**ing happy," "you're going to be my fu**ing wife," "you fu**ing make me so happy."

Fuck yeah!

In all seriousness, I know a lot of people who use the f* bomb as an emphasis word in all contexts. 

"Man, I am so fucking hungry!"

"Now, that was fucking funny"

"Shes's so fucking pretty."

etc.

[Ilovepie]

On 3/4/2022 at 2:29 PM, Cornhusker12 said:

I was fully rooting for Shayne and Natalie and I think in a very different circumstance they could've made it work, but obviously I fully support Natalie saying no. I think they (shockingly) DID seem compatible for awhile there, but clearly there are major issues that don't really lend themselves to a 6 week relationship ending in marriage.  Shayne is extremely strange, but I actually think he's a good person deep down. He also has some deep insecurities that clearly become serious issues and Natalie is under no obligation to jump into a marriage with him.

The blowup seems to have happened like this:

1. Shayne is partying with the boys at the bachelor party, everybody's chugging brews having a great time at Wrigley, he's probably super hyper (as always) because he thinks he's gonna hit a home run and get cheers from all of his friends. Unfortunately he faceplants in front of everyone instead, as we've seen many times he gets very embarrassed very easily and whiffing on all those pitches makes him angry and overwhelmed, which in turn makes him get more even drunk.

2. He gets home after the bachelor party totally fucked up and probably rambling because he's always hyper (not excusing this behavior), Natalie said that she asked him if he had too much to drink which apparently set him off even more and he had a blacked out freakout and she was the person there to receive his ranting and raving. 

3. The wedding was the next day, I wouldn't be surprised if he was super hung over/still kinda drunk and maybe didn't even remember what exactly went down the previous night. Instead of talking through what happened that morning and maybe figuring out some next steps they had their WEDDING to get ready for, so there was no time to come to any conclusion OTHER than saying no. Again, I fully support Natalie's decision here. 

When they talked after the wedding, I thought he had the vibe of someone who didn't know the extent of his actions the night before. Again, this is a perfectly valid reason to say no at the altar! But it's something that I could imagine POTENTIALLY being worked out if they had a stronger foundation than a 6 week relationship. I'm curious to see what their vibe is like at the reunion.

Thank you for this. I have read through everyone's comments and I thought I was the only one who was somewhat rooting for Shayne and Natalie until the blowup. They had a natural rapport that the other couples didn't have. The fact that the other participants were so sure they would get married says a lot to me - they were the couple I was most sure was actually going to say yes. I was actually a little sad when she got out of that car and said they had a horrible fight. I knew him striking out at Wrigley was bad news. I totally agree with your assessment. And I think being super drunk and upset allowed all of his feelings about the times Natalie teased him in a mean way (including calling him a piece of shit) just came out. He's definitely got some issues, but I do believe he loved her and was devastated when she said no, and she was equally sad about it. I loved her answer to why she said no though. When she said she was standing with her dad and realized how safe and loved she felt compared to when she stepped up next to Shayne and realized she didn't feel that with him.

On the other end, I was so happy to see Deepti say no. She was a straight up boss. I loved when she said one day Shake will realize she is exactly perfect for him, but it will be too late because she will be long gone. Totally cliche, but you go girl! No, really - go and don't look back at that asshole!

I am glad Sal got to reject Mal before she rejected him because I was sure she was going to say no. I am glad he realized she didn't love him like he deserved. They both came across as mature about it though, so good for them.  I liked their little convo afterwards. So calm. Sal's speech was sweet to her family. And when she said "I might have said yes" when he asked what she would have said if he said yes says everything about why the no from him was the right call.

Weirdly, I don't care about either of the successful couples. Neither of them are as sweet and cool as Cam & Lauren. I will be shocked if Nick & Danielle make it for long. She is a ball of insecurity - even she knows it! "You don't know how I acted this whole time" while she was getting ready says how neurotic she was. I did enjoy watching Nick melt into a ball of sweat though. I mean seriously, it was cartoon levels of sweat!

Edited March 7, 2022 by Ilovepie

[Ilovepie]

18 minutes ago, William2021 said:

The editing makes him seem like a villain. The facts are he settled for a type he specifically tried to avoid, decided to open up against his primal judgement but ultimately got left at the altar. However he definitely needs to work on how he talks, it seems no matter how good what he has to say ends up with him looking bad. In the recent ruined he tried to address the pressure the contestants have to go for marriage but even that made him look bad. Shake is the type that could advocate to end world hunger but end up making it seem like a bad thing.

In your teens or early twenties when you're dying to be heard and acknowledged, but it does seem odd when you're a fully grown independent adult.

Shake said yes to marriage, but it was her that left him at the altar — this is facts. Perhaps he realised to drop his primal preferences for love, but ended up getting burnt. Somehow she made it seem like she was the one being left. Even in the recent reunion she initiated the hate towards Shake and managed to trigger the hate around him. She's very clever. If anyone was ever guilty of anything I would consult or hire her as a PR manager.

He spent the entire season telling everyone he talked to that he wasn't attracted to her. I don't want to bring in the reunion in case anyone reading this hasn't seen it, but

Spoiler

We know that multiple people told her that he was talking about her behind her back and warned her not to marry him. She had every reason to say no.

Deepti didn't need to do anything to make Shake unlikeable - he did that to himself from the get-go - even in the pods he came across as a sleeze. The fact that every single participant loathes him says volumes. And the fact that he wanted to party and didn't seem sad at all at the wedding says he didn't care that she said no. I don't feel sorry for him at all.

[William2021]

On 3/7/2022 at 8:34 PM, Ilovepie said:

Deepti didn't need to do anything to make Shake unlikeable - he did that to himself from the get-go - even in the pods he came across as a sleeze. The fact that every single participant loathes him says volumes. And the fact that he wanted to party and didn't seem sad at all at the wedding says he didn't care that she said no. I don't feel sorry for him at all.

It does look bad that he talked about her negatively behind her back, but I'm sure she did the same in some form of which was edited out of the footage. From what I saw all he said was that he's not sure if he's actually physically attracted to her. Perhaps it would have been best if he just kept it to himself instead of saying it with a mic strapped on his back. Shake does have a problem with loudly speaking all of the negative things in his mind, and perhaps he enjoys bathing in the negativity towards him.

Shake wanting to party after he got dumped at the altar was him trying to save face, maybe to save his dignity, or maybe you're right he didn't care. I think a problem with the show is that make all of them go the distance and only seem to allow them to say 'no' at the very end for drama. Who knows, maybe they both said no to each other but it was played out the way it was for entertainment only because none of the drama would make sense in real life.

The show story is also deceiving. Everyone knows love can be 'blind', but if they did the opposite by showing appearances first then personality after, I'm sure the results would be the same if not worse. The show does nothing to show that love is blind, but only shows that how to portray yourself to the public is what counts.

Edited March 9, 2022 by William2021

[the-grey-lady]

On 2/25/2022 at 8:45 AM, Hpmec said:

Natalie dodged a huge bullet. Shayne is a loose cannon with a drug/alcohol problem and a bad temper. Telling the woman you are about to marry that you hate her the night before the wedding was reason enough for her not to show up at all. It must be very weird to be contractually obligated to walk down that aisle all gussied up knowing you are about to say a big resounding "no." And Shayne was his typical two year old tantrum prone self about it. So glad she bailed. 

 

Did I hear that post-wedding Shayne/Natalie argument correctly?

He told her the night before the wedding that he hated her, that she was the worst thing that had ever happened to him...and then he was angry and upset that she refused to marry him?

[NeenerNeener]

On 3/10/2022 at 3:51 PM, the-grey-lady said:

Did I hear that post-wedding Shayne/Natalie argument correctly?

He told her the night before the wedding that he hated her, that she was the worst thing that had ever happened to him...and then he was angry and upset that she refused to marry him?

Yes, you heard that correctly. 

[William2021]

On 3/10/2022 at 8:51 PM, the-grey-lady said:

Did I hear that post-wedding Shayne/Natalie argument correctly?

He told her the night before the wedding that he hated her, that she was the worst thing that had ever happened to him...and then he was angry and upset that she refused to marry him?

Based on what I saw on the show I think Shane is a highly-functional alcoholic. Unfortunately the world today caters to it and outrageous behaviour is brushed off as being almost normal. It would also explain the $2k/month on food as alcohol increases your appetite.

[TrixieTrue]

On 2/25/2022 at 8:53 PM, LakeGal said:

I was disappointed that Shayne didn't show up in .  I remember him telling Natalie he wanted to wear .  He looked like a fool swinging his arms around like he was ready to take off.  Who does that while they are waiting for to walk down ?

Very late to the party because I only just binged the show.

When Shayne first said he wanted a cape, I wondered if he meant tails and didn't know what they were called. Then I thought maybe he meant an opera cape, which is very elegant, but there's a fine line between elegant cape and vampire costume. Opera capes are also meant to be worn outdoors, instead of a coat, so it's not really for an indoor, summer wedding. 

[Texasmom1970]

On 2/26/2022 at 8:51 AM, Court said:

Agreed. I think he thinks so highly of himself, that he never thought she would say no. 

I agree; with his overblown ego I believe he thought he would have a wife and he could cheat on the side. 

[Mstk3000]

On 2/25/2022 at 9:13 AM, Jax7917 said:

All my predictions were wrong except for Nick and Danielle but I’m so proud of Deeps ! Shake was a dick and watching how he acted after the rejection was second hand embarrassment . He’s a narcissist and he doesn’t deserve her . 
 

I’m a little confused with Sal saying no . I feel like we missed a bit of how he came to that conclusion . I guess he didn’t feel like she was in love with him ? I also wish they told us what the other person would have said had they gone first . 

I know this is an old comment but I just started watching the show.  I think Shake was just champing at the bit to say no after Deeps said yes, and she stole his thunder completely by saying no first (and looking absolutely gorgeous while doing so).