S14.E05: It's Not a Shore Thing

[Kira53]

Alyssa treats Chris like he has the cooties.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Kira53
I need to wear my glasses typos

[kristen111]

Michael has lots of issues the experts should have picked up.  They haven’t laughed once.  The experts didn’t pick up on lots of things, including Lindsey and her big mouth.

[Crashcourse]

Now I'm beginning to wonder if Jasmina is gaslighting Michael like Alyssa is gaslighting Chris because they're simply not attracted to their husbands.

[Straycat80]

At this rate Jasmina and Lyndsey are going to be roomies with Alyssa. 
Olajuwon is getting points for the foot massage. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Noi takes relationships too fast in general, with her meeting international guys online and flying to see them. She needs to let the guy do some of the work, but I think they’ll be alright. 
Michael is just too complicated for me. Maybe he just has the male version of RBF, but he always looks annoyed. 
I seriously doubt Olajuwon’s “Issac” is gone since he sure seems to brag and celebrate how much of a player he was. He does have really good insight into situations and if he can leave his ego at the door and just “be”. 
 

I missed Alyssa’s mom saying she was a pain. Was that a different episode. 
She was shooting daggers at Chris when he was approaching her and the producer or assistant had to intercept him. I doubt even animals like her. Poor things. 

[spunky]

Lindsey is constantly on 100, Mark wants her to bring it down a notch. He's probably exhausted.

[Straycat80]

Next weeks previews…I missed who was telling the production crew that she ‘hated him’? Will Alyssa and Chris be done? Please!!! 

[kristen111]

The Shark is done.  He can’t take her already.  He wants to go slow, so she takes it the wrong way of course.  Finito.  It will never work.

[Empress1]

2 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I missed Alyssa’s mom saying she was a pain. Was that a different episode. 

No. When Chris was diving (which she refused to do), she told the producer that she was mad at her mom because she'd called her mom to bitch about Chris (I'm paraphrasing) and her mom had called her on her shit (still paraphrasing) and told her she was being difficult and was going to look bad on TV. She told her mom she had been really nice to everybody (girl, where?) and her mom was apparently like "yeah, right."

Since Alyssa is determined to make herself the victim in this story (the way she says in the preview that the situation isn't her fault, and the way she said this episode that she didn't understand why "this was happening to [her]" indicates that she's gonna ride this victim wave until the end), I'm guessing her mom really let her have it if it was enough that she was brought to tears when describing what her mother said.

1 minute ago, Straycat80 said:

Next weeks previews…I missed who was telling the production crew that she ‘hated him’? Will Alyssa and Chris be done? Please!!! 

Alyssa was telling production that she "hated him."

[Kiss my mutt]

@Empress1 thanks! I had to let the dogs out and can’t pause on my streaming device. I’ll have to watch it on demand. Yikes! 

[kristen111]

I think Ojawon is full of shit.  He has some gift of gab going.  We will see.

[FrankieTankie]

Alyssa is a piece of shit … I hope karma hits this bitch square in the face where her chin should be…. She’s destine too be a cat lady …. I hope every guy she dates from herein our cheat on her every time … as for Chris stop being a bitch and have some self respect and tel her the fuck off…be a man and walk away with some dignity… why are you trying so hard and apologizing to a piece of  trash… she’s dead in the inside .. bitch thinks every guys dream except she looks like that dude on MAD magazine 

[Kira53]

55 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Well, sounds like Jasmina is going to move in with Alyssa. She’s right about Michael being aggressive. 

Is there a gaslighting suite?

20 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Now I'm beginning to wonder if Jasmina is gaslighting Michael like Alyssa is gaslighting Chris because they're simply not attracted to their husbands.

Jasmina’s gaslighting is creating these situations with Michael.  I don’t see aggression.  He is assertive.  Big difference.  She doesn’t like his looks.I bet her long distance relationships are super handsome and nonexistent. She has no idea how to get along with someone on a day-to-day basis but she doesn’t want to get along with Michael because she does not find him attractive and she is gaslighting him to make him the problem.

[Rightside]

Alyssa doesn't want to go swimming with Chris.

She just wants to play in the sandbox alone by her five year old self.

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, FrankieTankie said:

Alyssa is a piece of shit … I hope karma hits this bitch square in the face where her chin should be…. She’s destine too be a cat lady …. I hope every guy she dates from herein our cheat on her every time … as for Chris stop being a bitch and have some self respect and tel her the fuck off…be a man and walk away with some dignity… why are you trying so hard and apologizing to a piece of  trash… she’s dead in the inside .. bitch thinks every guys dream except she looks like that dude on MAD magazine 

I’m with you 100%.  I really think she’s insane, or split personalities.  Her poor parents.  What they must have went thru with her.  She must have been this way her whole life.  You are right about the Mad Magazine.  That smile.

[Racj82]

52 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Michael has lots of issues the experts should have picked up.  They haven’t laughed once.  The experts didn’t pick up on lots of things, including Lindsey and her big mouth.

They didn't but the producers did. Let's be real. The experts probably get a small pool of choices that they have to make work. The producers will want some conflict in their reality show.

[kristen111]

I’m married over fifty years.  I’ve never seen people act this way, or think like they think, and do what they do.  It was crazy.  The only ones with class were Katina and Jasmine.  The experts screwed up royally.  I don’t want to listen to their bullshit anymore.  They suck.  These people are adults and should behave better.  They will never make a marriage work as they don’t have it in them.  What a disaster.

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I think Noi takes relationships too fast in general, with her meeting international guys online and flying to see them. She needs to let the guy do some of the work, but I think they’ll be alright. 
Michael is just too complicated for me. Maybe he just has the male version of RBF, but he always looks annoyed. 
I seriously doubt Olajuwon’s “Issac” is gone since he sure seems to brag and celebrate how much of a player he was. He does have really good insight into situations and if he can leave his ego at the door and just “be”. 
 

I missed Alyssa’s mom saying she was a pain. Was that a different episode. 
She was shooting daggers at Chris when he was approaching her and the producer or assistant had to intercept him. I doubt even animals like her. Poor things. 

It’s usually on again tonight.  Tape it if you can.

[puppytoes]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

Miss Tish (Alyssa) doesn’t like Chris’s body.  Maybe nobody likes her face.  What a pain in the ass.  I hate her hat too.

Alyssa really should have shut her mouth about Chris’s body.  She was standing there with her double chin and gut sticking out watching him swim.  I can’t stand her.  

[Kiss my mutt]

8 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

It’s usually on again tonight.  Tape it if you can.

Thank you, K. I don’t have a dvr but it should be on demand tomorrow at least! 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, spunky said:

Lindsey is constantly on 100, Mark wants her to bring it down a notch. He's probably exhausted.

Yet he managed to have sex with her the same night of her airport antics!

I'm as shocked as anyone to hear me say this, but I was on her side in tonight's fight.  Don't have sex, plan a romantic dinner and choose that moment to cool things down.  I like Mark and dislike Lindsay, but he was wrong.  Did he think she would agree with him, eat dinner, go back to the room and have sex, and then happily lay in bed listening to him fart?

Also - when he said she had 3 bottles of wine I was shocked!  But if it was 3 plane bottles, that's basically 3 glasses, which apparently notched up her obnoxious level, but isn't all that out of control.

1 hour ago, Straycat80 said:

Next weeks previews…I missed who was telling the production crew that she ‘hated him’? Will Alyssa and Chris be done? Please!!! 

Next weeks previews! 😂. Alyssa bitching to the group and calling out Lindsay for looking at her - but did you see Olajuwon's face? 🤣

She told her mom she was "literally the nicest person there to everyone" - as she eats lunch alone without waiting for her husband 🙄. Rude, nasty girl.

[gwen747]

Jasmina likes to say that Michael dwells on negativity, but her demeanor doesn't exactly scream "positivity". 

[Ms.C.]

3 hours ago, spunky said:

Michael needs to stop overthinking and enjoy the moment.

He may need to do that but having lost so many from early age builds thick walls. I wish she could be a bit more  sensitive. He needs to be drawn out and it doesn’t sound like she’s interested.  Was liking him but this latest convo … hmmm.  

[Ms.C.]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

She saw a side of him she didn’t like.  Why was he so serious?  It made her nervous.

He was a bully.  Doesn’t portend well.  

[Ms.C.]

Is anybody else sort of aghast at Alyssa?  She’s beyond rude.  Reminds me of Haley.  

[Airy2021]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Get the white coats and stretcher.  Alyssa’s mother told her she’s a pain.  Now she’s crying like a baby.  What a spoiled brat.  Is she all there mentally?  I don’t think so.  Take her away to the looney bin.

 

She is THE WORST. Such a bad attitude.

[Airy2021]

16 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

Is anybody else sort of aghast at Alyssa?  She’s beyond rude.  Reminds me of Haley.  

 

I think she's far worse than Haley. I mean, at least Haley ATTEMPTED to get to know her husband. It was obvious she didn't feel chemistry but she tried. Alyssa just has a horrible attitude and her standards are crazily high. The girl has no chin and a beer belly and she's judging Chris's body??? Really???? Cmon. Get a grip! Ugh!!

[Jeanne222]

So first of all we have a group  of ten who could not find love on their own.  So there's that!

Does Mark the Shark really fart in bed with his new bride and plug up the toilet!  That Lyndsey really goes for the juggler doesn't she.

Alyssa is just the strangest one I've ever seen on this show.  Yikes.  Boy mom has her number!  This is probably mom's last chance for a grandbaby.  Sigh...not happening.

Steve's wife, maybe Noy? Needs to stop smothering him.  Heck I couldn't breath watching his discomfort between her and that camera so close to his face!

Katina just isn't as pretty as I first thought she was in the beginning.  Not sure what it is?  Alejanda is so full of BS.  He's a real player!

I'll never look at Mark the same now that Lyndsays told his bathroom secrets!

[Desert Rat]

4 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Unless Lindsey starts some shit again, Katina needs to let.it.go. 

Katina is getting on my nerves. How could she possibly do a workout with 40 pounds of extensions, six inch long nails, and three inch long eyelashes. 

[Desert Rat]

4 hours ago, Racj82 said:

There is no whoever. If someone is talking about a threesome it's Olajuwon.

Did Olajawon really say he banged a mother and her daughter at a train station? Please tell me I  heard wrong. That's just gross and if Katina had an ounce of self respect she would run. 

[Jeanne222]

16 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

Katina is getting on my nerves. How could she possibly do a workout with 40 pounds of extensions, six inch long nails, and three inch long eyelashes. 

Maybe it's the hair that's throwing me off.  It's so long and hanging in her face.  I can't see her face!  I donno!  Is that hair real but with long extensions?  Karen from Miles and Karen of New Orleans  really knew how to do hair!  She is a beautiful woman.

 

[candall]

Yikes.  Nobody in this show misses a chance to bring the drama.  (Maybe Steve.)

 

I feel a little bit sympathetic for Noi.  I think she's embarrassed that she put herself out there too soon and her "falling in love" proclamation wasn't reciprocated.  (Good for Steve for staying true to himself and not making that commitment under pressure.)  But I really didn't like that Noi's new husband shared how much he would love camping next to the ocean and her response was a hard "Nope."

     Okay, so you're not a big fan of the outdoors, neither am I.  But if my brand new husband was passionate about it, I would suck it up and give it a shot.  If you don't ever want to compromise, then stay home, stay single and you do you.

 

Yes, Lindsey's a handful, but I switched teams when I found out Mark's a serial fart-master.  I would have been on the phone to the front desk booking a room on Alyssa's floor if my new husband farted on me in our wedding night bed.

[buttersister]

These people. According to Lindsey on the after party, she and Mark had sex 3 separate times that day and he’d promised her a very romantic dinner then tapped the brakes. That would be a no. I kinda don’t blame blind-sided Lindsey, who I don’t like, for divulging his personal grossness and bailing. WTF?

[Ms.C.]

53 minutes ago, Airy2021 said:

 

I think she's far worse than Haley. I mean, at least Haley ATTEMPTED to get to know her husband. It was obvious she didn't feel chemistry but she tried. Alyssa just has a horrible attitude and her standards are crazily high. The girl has no chin and a beer belly and she's judging Chris's body??? Really???? Cmon. Get a grip! Ugh!!

Laughing. I saw that belly fat. She must have been mother’s precious brown-haired chinless Barbie.   Really, most MAFS participants have been relatively attractive. With Chris it’s teeth IMO.  The lucky born with straight teeth or the money for an orthodontist.  

[greeneyedscorpio]

4 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Well, sounds like Jasmina is going to move in with Alyssa. She’s right about Michael being aggressive. 

I must have missed something?  I don't remember seeing him be aggressive?

[buttersister]

24 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

Did Olajawon really say he banged a mother and her daughter at a train station? Please tell me I  heard wrong. That's just gross and if Katina had an ounce of self respect she would run. 

He banged them separately, at different times. Then picked them up together at the station. Then had to make sure he told the world about it, in front of his new wife. Is he pitching his own post-MAFS reality show? 😂🤣🤮

Edited February 3, 2022 by buttersister

[Racj82]

39 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

So first of all we have a group  of ten who could not find love on their own.  So there's that!

Does Mark the Shark really fart in bed with his new bride and plug up the toilet!  That Lyndsey really goes for the juggler doesn't she.

Alyssa is just the strangest one I've ever seen on this show.  Yikes.  Boy mom has her number!  This is probably mom's last chance for a grandbaby.  Sigh...not happening.

Steve's wife, maybe Noy? Needs to stop smothering him.  Heck I couldn't breath watching his discomfort between her and that camera so close to his face!

Katina just isn't as pretty as I first thought she was in the beginning.  Not sure what it is?  Alejanda is so full of BS.  He's a real player!

I'll never look at Mark the same now that Lyndsays told his bathroom secrets!

Regarding Katina, I think it's her nose. It's creating an issue where I only find her the most attractive from certain angles.

[greeneyedscorpio]

5 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I don't understand Jasmina and Michael at all and they're painful to watch.  

My read on her is that she isn't attracted to him, thinks she's better than him and is going to pick away at him over stupid stuff until this is over.  Like Ayssa, just more covert. 

Edited February 3, 2022 by greeneyedscorpio

[Desert Rat]

I hope Olagajon is not a boob man. If he is, he will be very disappointed. But at least those aren't fake. 

[greeneyedscorpio]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I think Ojawon is full of shit.  He has some gift of gab going.  We will see.

100x this

[candall]

Alyssa:  "I am literally the nicest person to literally everyone here."

As she dispatches a production assistant to tell her husband she can't stand him to be around her while she's eating lunch.

 

,

[kikicat]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

I'm as shocked as anyone to hear me say this, but I was on her side in tonight's fight.  Don't have sex, plan a romantic dinner and choose that moment to cool things down.  I like Mark and dislike Lindsay, but he was wrong.  Did he think she would agree with him, eat dinner, go back to the room and have sex, and then happily lay in bed listening to him fart?

Gotta agree.

Mark, sweating buckets: "Let's slow this down. Not so lovey-dovey."

Lindsey: "We had sex three times today and now you want to put on the brakes?" Shoots daggers. "Well, isn't this every girl's dream date."

I also have my version of Olajuwon and Katina on the boat:

O: "You offer me a threesome with another woman? Of course I'm going to say yes."

Katina: "Ahem. I was thinking another man."

O: Pikachu face

And Alyssa crying over her salad.

"But I'm the nicest person in the whole wide world, Mom. The nicest person ever! Chris is just repulsive and that's not fair to me!" Runs crying to her bedroom and slams the door.

[kikicat]

4 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Alyssa treats Chris like he has the cooties.

I feel bad for him. OK, the marriage is no go. She could chat with him like a friend, relax and get to know him a little. Enjoy the vacation. Be pleasant. Show some grace. At the very least, treat him with the kindness she'd show a rescue dog.

[gingerandcloves]

1 hour ago, kikicat said:

I feel bad for him. OK, the marriage is no go. She could chat with him like a friend, relax and get to know him a little. Enjoy the vacation. Be pleasant. Show some grace. At the very least, treat him with the kindness she'd show a rescue dog.

She's so rude. This episode was really giving me shades of ChristinA and Henry on their honeymoon, when they kept giving glimpses of ChristinA being rude to production and cold to Henry. I don't think production likes Alyssa either.

[ByTor]

4 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

9 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Well, sounds like Jasmina is going to move in with Alyssa. She’s right about Michael being aggressive. 

I must have missed something?  I don't remember seeing him be aggressive?

He apparently talked disrespectfully to her because he accused her of cutting him off when he was explaining on the boat that they didn't consummate the marriage yet. The "you cut me off" argument apparently happened off-screen, so we really don't know how he spoke to her. 

6 hours ago, gwen747 said:

Jasmina likes to say that Michael dwells on negativity, but her demeanor doesn't exactly scream "positivity". 

She really does come across as dour.

9 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Unless Lindsey starts some shit again, Katina needs to let.it.go. 

I'm wondering what happened off-screen with this as well. On camera, Lindsey basically said she was triggered because of something that happened in her past & she needs to learn that was then and this is now, which I took to mean that she needs to let it go. Then Katina got pissed at Lindsey saying there are "three sides to every story" (there usually are) & that Lindsey needs to take responsibility that she triggered herself...except she DID say that, so I'm really confused.

 

 

Edited February 3, 2022 by ByTor

[ByTor]

5 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

Katina is getting on my nerves. How could she possibly do a workout with 40 pounds of extensions

That sounds like a workout in & of itself 😂

7 hours ago, Rightside said:

Alyssa doesn't want to go swimming with Chris.

She just wants to play in the sandbox alone by her five year old self.

My ex-husband loves scuba diving, I'm terrified of being under water. So when he would go, I'd lay on the beach or go shopping. I didn't run off by myself & pout. Her "waahhhh I have nothing to do" was ridiculous.

[Booger666]

Olajawon kept shaking his head ‘no’ as he constantly love bombed Katina.  Body language doesn’t lie and I worry Katina is in for a world of hurt.  And, for someone who claims he is over his slutty ways he certainly likes to relive those days loudly, often, and with strangers who understandably cringe at his man whoring.  What a douche.

[Rightside]

6 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

Katina is getting on my nerves. How could she possibly do a workout with 40 pounds of extensions, six inch long nails, and three inch long eyelashes. 

She is all glued together!!

[essexjan]

Wow, the producers really hate Alyssa, don't they! She must have pissed them off royally to get such a bad edit.  That, or there isn't anything other than footage of her bitching and moaning (which is highly likely). She thinks she's hot shit and that she's somehow the victim of a cruel prank to pair her with someone who doesn't match her #10 looks and personality. Chris seems like a really nice guy and he's doing his best to be pleasant and accommodating to her, but she's such a bitch that only him saying he was going to throw himself off the roof would make her happy.

And yes, Katina should totally have said she'd be up for a threesome if it was with another man. What a blow to Olajuwon's ego that would have been! Why is it always assumed that a threesome would involve another woman?

Having read upthread that Mark and Lindsey had sex three times before he decided to apply the brakes makes her anger much more understandable. But what else happened to make Mark reach that decision? I also don't disagree with Lindsey mentioning Mark's gross behaviour (farting, clogging the toilet, etc) that is hardly conducive to romance. The way Mark kept repeating himself during the conversation makes me wonder if he was prompted by production to slow things down, or if he genuinely found it difficult to talk about his feelings, had rehearsed what he wanted to say in his head and didn't want (on camera) to deviate from the script.

Michael seems to be one of those humourless people who feels the need to correct people when he thinks they're wrong about something. Jasmina is quickly running out of patience with him.

I like Steve and Noi. They are low drama so far, and I think the producers are scrabbling for more interesting content about them.

[Flip Flops]

I missed the whole thing between Lindsay and O. Could someone explain what he supposedly said that triggered her? Thanks