S01.E01: Premiere

[The Evil One]

I don't know what asylum the BIP producers broke AshLee out of to get her to Mexico, but thank goodness they did, because she is the highlight (lowlight?) of this show. It seems she has used the time since Sean's season to really hone her crazy; she has gone from stage 5 clinger to boil-your-bunny-crazy! "He couldn't stay loyal for 24 hours! He's not here for me! She's a slut! She's not even pretty!" In less than a day! AshLee Date One: Dinner. AshLee Date Two: Meet with Wedding Planner. The woman is physically gorgeous, but there is no amount of pretty that can mask that level of nutbar.

[portergirl99]

Nutty1 thanks for that link -- hysterical. I don't have much to add except it is awsome to see that happens when you throw Bachelor and Paradizzle against the wall and see what sticks -- this show, apparently.  Love coming here to read the snark and laugh/snort at my desk.  Like many of you I won;t own up to watching this shit to people IRL.  Marcus is seriously working the sad face approach to Lacy's boobs.  M Money might be my favorite along with Graham and that must mean I'm getting super old!!! I've loved Graham ever since he totally sat there with his bourbon and branch water wearing his whatever face around Deanna with the though bubble of Get me the Fuck out of Here floating just offscreen. 

 

Rocky for the win!

[Dirtybubble]

I agree with everyone regarding Sarah's choice of swimwear. That thing made her have no boobs, yet still looked like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

That bathing suit was cut too low and looked to tight/small on her.  As a small chested gal myself a one piece that's too small can flatten you out like an ironing board.  I'm surprised she didn't wear a two piece.  She seemed to have a pretty good body and if I was going on a date with Marcus (or any of these guys for that matter) I would have pulled out a 2 piece.  It didn't have to be super skimpy but something to give the support of a bra type top. 

 

Meh either way I like Sarah, I didn't see Sean's season so I don't know that much about her but she seems cool.  It was painfully obvious that Marcus just wasn't digging her though.  It's difficult to notice that when you're in the middle of a scenario like that but if I was her I would have crawled under my couch and died when I saw this date on t.v.

[Canada]

Marcus has always struck me as being really superficial and shallow, all about the way people look, so I'm not surprised that he was so not into Sarah.  She's not perfect enough for him!

[aenea]

Yeah the location is surprising. What, did they spend all the budget on the location shoots for Andi's season? 

Andi's season also seemed pretty low budget- the Venice shots might as well have been shot in Vegas, and while I love Belgium, it was mostly 'generic European' city, vs. any real effort from pre-production team to find out what's interesting about it.  I only started watching the franchise about half way through Sean's season, but the Bachelor seems to have much more of a budget than any of the spin-offs- Vietnam, Thailand, and a lot of different locations.   The only main production standards (aside from fully functioning bars) for the spinoffs seem to be the availability of cushions and uncomfortable seating arrangements.  Could they not at least put lights on walking areas on the (slightly off-putting) beach?

 

I'm still not loving Clare- I did feel sorry for her when Juan Pablo slut-shamed her about their mutual ocean sex, and while I applauded her going off on him after he rejected her, I doubt if we would have heard any of that if he'd proposed to her.  It also seems a bit in character that for her 'date' she'd pick the only two guys who were somewhat spoken for at the time.  On the upside, she hasn't yet pulled the "my dead father made a DVD for the man I love" card.

[KerleyQ]

AshLee Date One: Dinner. AshLee Date Two: Meet with Wedding Planner.

 

 

I think the wedding planner shows up for dessert on Date One.  Why wait? 

[Jaundiced Eye]

Okay, I'm relatively new to the whole "Bachelor Nation" thing. I saw Andi's entire season, a couple of episodes of Jake Pavelka's season, and one or two episodes of Bachelor Pad (the first one, I think). So, my point is, I'm easily appalled by these lunkheads. At some point, I imagine you become more or less immune to the sleaziness, stupidity, lameness, etc.

 

I don't find Marcus particularly attractive (meh), and those "tighty orangies" are just gross. I do think it's funny that he "falls in love" within moments of meeting a woman. Lacey and the boobs, yeah, I see them. Don't see much else happening there. I don't know who Robert is, but he seems kind of cute. Although I only saw an episode or two of Bachelor Pad, I immediately recognized Michelle Money!  Hi, Michelle!  Ashlee is 100% batshit.

 

I hate hot (and especially humid) weather, so it's unlikely I'll ever go to Mexico, period -- but from what I've seen, Tulum is definitely not on my bucket list. What a crappy beach, lousy weather, no A/C and FIRE ANTS.  Wow, sign me up.

 

Not sure how much of this I will be able to stomach, but I promise to try my best to make it through a few episodes of this show. I am nothing if not a trooper.

[truthaboutluv]

I did enjoy watching Dylan's not so subtle irritation while listening to Marcus blabber on about his feelings for Lacy and being all conflicted and how he didn't know for sure what was going on, at which point Dylan all but snapped, "um she was all up on Robert all day is what is going on - did you just miss all that?" I swear it looked like it was taking everything out of him to restrain an eyeroll. 

 

And in more news that Marcus is annoying, he gets all huffy over some harmless tweets by Nick yet was quick to retweet Sean's tweet basically calling Ashlee a Stage 5 clinger which yeah, let's face it, Ashlee is nuts. But apparently it's all fine to rag on her but one can't mock his falling in love in a day with a girl who spent most of the time previously dry humping some other guy and apparently doesn't understand basic math. 

 

eta: Speaking of Elise, was I the only one who thought all her bikinis looked like they may have been a size or two too small? It was also interesting seeing her in those itty bitty bikinis because she was one of those, along with Andi and can't remember the other woman, who was bothered about the nude photoshoot because she is or was a school teacher. And yes I know wearing a tiny bikini is different than being naked but I was just a bit surprised at her because I remember her being kind of conservative on Juan Pablo's season. I wonder if she's still a grade school teacher. 

 

As for Lacy, yeah I'm going with the boobs for why the guys were all gaga over her. Maybe there's more there when you get to know her better and her background in her intro video for Juan Pablo's season was fairly inspiring but the only thing that came across from her in the premiere was a blank, doe-eyed stare that was supposed to be flirty I guess, jumping in the water after any guy willing and wrapping herself around him quickly and making the most inane conversation ever. 

Edited August 6, 2014 by truthaboutluv

[Bugs Meany]

I don't know what is so appealing about Lacy, but then again I am a woman.

And I have to say, as a straight woman, all I can see are Lacy's boobs when she's in a scene.

I know this is a bit mean, but I just don't get the draw to Lacey. Other than humongous, clearly fake boobs, she seems completely unremarkable.

 

As a straight man, I'd say both of you are right.  She's cute-ish, I guess, but by no means beautiful.  Seems nice, though. 

 

Elise is the worst.  Not hot, bad attitude, brings nothing to the table.

 

Thank Fleiss, we didn't have to wait too long for Michelle Money.  I liked what Marquel said about her: "She's a whole different breed of beautiful woman."  Except for AshLee (still hot, crazy and crazy hot), it was like LeBron showing up at a junior varsity scrimmage.

[MsPH]

eta: Speaking of Elise, was I the only one who thought all her bikinis looked like they may have been a size or two too small? It was also interesting seeing her in those itty bitty bikinis because she was one of those, along with Andi and can't remember the other woman, who was bothered about the nude photoshoot because she is or was a school teacher. And yes I know wearing a tiny bikini is different than being naked but I was just a bit surprised at her because I remember her being kind of conservative on Juan Pablo's season. I wonder if she's still a grade school teacher.

 

Well there was that soft porny Christmas video of her hanging around in skimpy underwear, so I don't think she's ever been that conservative, just trying to hold on to her job. Which she's probably lost by now anyway due to all this famewhoring.

[OhIKnow]

 

I think the wedding planner shows up for dessert on Date One.  Why wait?

It'd be the easiest way to get wedding cake tasting crossed off the list, don't you think, KerleyQ? 

[KnoxForPres]

Two hours of Bachelor in Paradise goes by so much faster than the real show. I loved it.

I thought it was strategically dumb for Sara to ask Marcus on the date. While I see he may not be everyone's cup of tea, I think he's hot as hell. If I knew Lacy and her boobs were remotely interested, and I wanted a rose, no way would he have been my target. And I have two arms.

I'm 35 now and I swear when I watched Michelle Money first time around we were the same age. How did she lose 2 years? It may have been Blakely I'm remembering but I could have sworn me, Clare, and Money were all the same age back in the day.

I imagined Juan Pablo watching thinking "ees not ok" when he thought back of letting Lacy go so early.

Is there an end game to this? I'm hesitant to google bc I googled Lacy to see if she had the boobs in Juan's season and damn it if first thing, real or not, was a spoiler. I for reasons unknown don't spoil myself in this franchise. I guess I missed in the beginning when Harrison said what the point of this was and deleted from Dvr. Thanks in advance to anyone who answers.

Edited August 6, 2014 by KnoxForPres

[chocolatine]

I'm 35 now and I swear when I watched Michelle Money first time around we were the same age.

 

 

She was "29" on Brad's season when it aired in January 2011. She turned "30" during the show, which, since the show films in the fall of the previous year, would make her almost exactly the same age as me. Except Michelle looks much, much older than me or any other women my age that I know. I know most of the women on these shows fudge their age by a few years, but Michelle looks older even than the other "33"-year-olds, Clare and AshLee.

 

I imagined Juan Pablo watching thinking "ees not ok" when he thought back of letting Lacy go so early.

 

 

Especially since "nice breasts" is one of the things he was looking for in a woman. 

 

Is there an end game to this? I'm hesitant to google bc I googled Lacy to see if she had the boobs in Juan's season and damn it if first thing, real or not, was a spoiler.

 

 

The only information I have is from RS's spoilers.

[deSchenke]

I was so distracted.  Distracted by Sarah's one arm, distracted by Lacy's boobs, and distracted by AshLee's clumpy eyelashes!

 

I suspect Sarah is going to be there long after her time.  What guy is going to send home the one-armed woman?  She seems sweet enough, but the focus on her one arm, her low self-esteem because of it, and that horrible lilt she has in her voice when she speaks - drive me crazy.  Not batshit like AshLee, but crazy enough.  My cousin was born with half an arm, so I shouldn't be distracted like I am with Sarah.  However, when I'm around my cousin, my lasting impression is of her wit and spunk and I hardly notice anything missing.  Sarah is so blah to me.  And I'm so glad someone mentioned that awful one-piece she was wearing!  I'm trying to remember if she had any "water" dates in her season.  Surely she wore a bikini?

 

I heart Marquel.  I'm a middle-aged, white woman.  But I love his sense of humor.  A sense of humor can last a lifetime, ladies!

 

I googled Dreams Tulum Resort, as it was mentioned in the credits.  It seems to have swimming pools and luxury accommodation.  What is with the open huts that are shown on BIP?  They seem to have no connection whatsoever.

 

And can we tell these dumbasses that swimming in the ocean at night is not the definition of "skinny dipping!"  I kept looking and looking for a suit to be tossed off and.....  nothing.  Although it was totally stupid to be going into the waves with champaign glasses (I realize that was another incident, but thought I'd bring it up anyway.)

[fib]

Lacy looks pretty busty, but its hard to tell in a blazer in this shot from before JPs season.  And in this relatively demure promo shot.  I think she's had those girls for a while, though the fact that her ex is somewhat of a himbo who's famous for his body makes me think its possible she has run in pretty vain circles where augmentation isn't unusual.  

 

…edited because his and hers are not the same word. 

Edited August 7, 2014 by fib

[KnoxForPres]

She was "29" on Brad's season when it aired in January 2011. She turned "30" during the show, which, since the show films in the fall of the previous year, would make her almost exactly the same age as me. Except Michelle looks much, much older than me or any other women my age that I know. I know most of the women on these shows fudge their age by a few years, but Michelle looks older even than the other "33"-year-olds, Clare

Well, then her Bachelor math is right. I think Michelle is very pretty but agree she looks older. But not necessarily in a bad way. I think she's one of those people who probably in her senior pic looked like she was 27 while the rest of us looked, well...17.

fib (sorry don't know how to bold in iPhone), that blazer looks like it's straining back some major boobage so I'm thinking they aren't new. Which further compounds my Juan problem of him ditching her.

It's like I logically know I need a life, but I'm just not there yet.

[chocolatine]

I think she's one of those people who probably in her senior pic looked like she was 27 while the rest of us looked, well...17.

 

 

Well, at 17 most of us want to look like we're 27, but at 33 ... we still want to look like we're 27! Michelle looks like she's 39.

Edited August 7, 2014 by chocolatine

[BC Mama]

Who knew Marcus would be the most sought after man? I think he and Dylan look better on this show than they did on The Bachelorette.

 

Oh the power of a haircut!! Dylan no longer looks like a hockey player from 1988!

 

My personal favorite was Clare, upon reaching the top of the ruin and taking in the view: "I am literally speechless!"

 

No,sweetie, you're not. 

 

The misuse of this word, LITERALLY makes me furious!!

 

 

Why was Ben a "villain?" All I remember is that he had a kid. Funny that people on these shows don't think that maybe he was just edited to be a villain.

 

He was accused of using his son to score brownie points!

 

Don't you realize?  "Bachelorette-Years" are sort of like dog-years.  You have to add at least 5-7 years to every lady's stated age to come close to their chronological age.

 

I thought that in Bachelorette-years, you only got older by home many seasons of the show you do!

[Armchair Critic]

Honestly though, Graham was not a bad choice for her (Clare), Crazy AshLee aside. He's the oldest

 

I think her age is going to be a problem for Clare, though I do think she is very attractive she seems more like a big sister to some of the guys. Michelle Money too. And yes I am older than both of them before you think I am ageist, I just think the guys will go for the younger women first.

[KR Vermont]

I googled Dreams Tulum Resort, as it was mentioned in the credits.  It seems to have swimming pools and luxury accommodation.  What is with the open huts that are shown on BIP?  They seem to have no connection whatsoever.

Blogger Jen Frase (link upthread) describes the BiP digs as "MEXICAN. It's like a giant decorated sombrero in there."

[chocolatine]

The luxury accommodations are for Chris Harrison and the ant-infested open huts are for the contestants where, according to Harrison (although he'll never admit it) they belong.

 

 

Don't a lot of resorts have both a "luxury" and a "basic" section? A place in Kauai once tried to put me into a crappy ground-floor, courtyard-facing room when I had booked an ocean view. I had to have words with the manager to get the room I had booked, but obviously those guys can't very well ask for a better room since they aren't paying for any of it.

[Dirtybubble]

I heart Marquel.  I'm a middle-aged, white woman.  But I love his sense of humor.  A sense of humor can last a lifetime, ladies!

I like him much more on this show than I did on Andi's season.  To me he came across as a goof ball but on this show he still has to same fun personality without it being immature.  It did warm my heart the way he greeted the guys from his season.  Dylan and Marcus were greeted with friends hugs that it seemed as if he truly thought of them as buddies.  I didn't see any of the girls, or guys for that matter, greet another person that enthusiastically from their own season.

[Stella MD]

 

AshLee Date One: Dinner. AshLee Date Two: Meet with Wedding Planner.

Except they never even had a first date! It's more like:

Standing in the same room = First Date

Making eye contact = Engaged

Casual "conversating" about the weather = Call the justice of the peace on speed dial, implant one of those subcutaneous pet homing devices, and slap on whatever the male equivalent of a chastity belt is - they're hitched for life!

Edited August 7, 2014 by Stella MD

[PoorerThanDead]

For those who say you miss the challenges and contests of Bachelor Pad, I think they've basically made "hooking up" the only and on-going challenge required to survive Every. Week.  It's like a whole seasons' worth of Fantasy Suite Weeks.  To which, Dante sighed and started drafting an addendum.

 

“Bachelor in Paradise: 

        Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here”

Airing Mondays at 8/7pm Central.

[KerleyQ]

You know all these people heard the "in paradise" part of the concept and were thinking "awesome, the Bachelor and Bachelorette have gone to some really cool places, this will be amazing."  Then they got to this shit hole.  I wouldn't have needed to have some other mystery hook up to turn down a rose at the first ceremony for this place.  I don't think I would have even made it that long. "We're really staying here?  I've got to go, I think I left the oven on." 

[PoorerThanDead]

I always kind of side eye the people who go on these shows and then claim to be insecure or have low self esteem.  As someone who actually has dealt with insecurity to various degrees, I can guarantee you the absolute last thing I would ever have considered doing as a young single person was putting myself on TV, especially on a show like The Bachelor (or any of its various branches).  I mean, you have low self-esteem (especially due to a physical issue, like in this case), and you go on a show to compete with attractive people for a guy?  It makes so little sense to me. It comes across more to me like "if I say I have low self esteem, people will tell me how fucking awesome I am." 

 

As someone who also struggles with insecurity, I could see it being the type of thing where you purposefully try to put yourself out there despite having low self-esteem. It’s one of those pop psychology, positivity things like: “You shouldn’t let this stop you, you are as good as anyone else, go out there and live your life, put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.” Doesn’t mean you don’t still have low self-esteem. You do, you’re just trying to overcome it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. (Not saying I personally would ever do it, because I also so, so wouldn't.)

 

 

My personal favorite was Clare, upon reaching the top of the ruin and taking in the view: "I am literally speechless!"

 

No,sweetie, you're not. 

 

To be fair, I think she was literally speechless for like, those 10 seconds. She didn’t specify how long. That might very well be “literally” the longest she’s ever gone without regaling the world and the viewers and the raccoons with her antics.

Edited August 7, 2014 by PoorerThanDead

[Andromeda]

This wasn’t as fun as I’d hoped. Loved the raccoon. I like Claire and Michelle Money. So many of the contestants and bottom tier and forgettable, or just not good TV. I remember Sarah, but she’s such a whiner! I only remember her because, hello, only one one-arm girl. And I know the guys from this past Bachelorette season, of course. Graham, too, because I remember Deanna freaking when he voluntarily split.

Mostly I’m disappointed by the format. The enforced pick-a-partner aspect ruins a lot of the potential romance, because people rush to get a partner so they’re not eliminated, rather than sitting back and seeing who they really click with. (Like being stuck with your "first impression" person or whoever isn't taken = romance!). So it’s not romance, it’s strategy, just like past Bachelor Pad shows. You know there’s off-screen wheeling and dealing and alliances, which really takes the bloom off the rose. Heh.

The “new people every week” idea is a steal from Paradise Hotel, where the new people were chosen by the viewers. And they didn’t have it easy breaking into set alliances, and were usually booted right away, or the following week if they had “immunity” the first week. So what’s the chances of anyone finding any kind of lasting relationship from this excuse for a summer exercise in banality?

 

I wish Claire hadn't caved to pressure from Crazy Ashlee. I'm disappointed Graham put up with it.

 

On the location, this is the place. It's a big rental area, and I think they built additional structures, like on-the-beach couches. The main hall is open-air, and they used a LOT of Mexican blankets as decor. Very on-the-cheap. Reminds me of what I've read about the Big Brother "house" -- it's a craphole up close, but looks good on TV, because it's a film set. (I no longer watch that show.)

 

Here's a slideshow (with really annoying pop-up ads).

 

I wouldn't want to stay there (too rustic, looks like they never get to be indoors except in their rooms, too much harsh wind, ugly beach) but I would LOVE to visit the ruins at Tulum! I'd just skip over the fire ants... 

 

BTW, I believe The Bachelorette budget is always cheaper than Bachelor, because it's on in the summer and gets fewer viewers.

Edited August 7, 2014 by Andromeda

[violetr]

As someone who also struggles with insecurity, I could see it being the type of thing where you purposefully try to put yourself out there despite having low self-esteem. It’s one of those pop psychology, positivity things like: “You shouldn’t let this stop you, you are as good as anyone else, go out there and live your life, put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.” Doesn’t mean you don’t still have low self-esteem. You do, you’re just trying to overcome it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. (Not saying I personally would ever do it, because I also so, so wouldn't.)

 

I absolutely think this is her line of thinking. But boy is it misguided to think this franchise could help your self-esteem in any way.

 

I really don't get Graham's appeal. I mean, he seems nice enough, but where is this alleged hotness? Is it one of those things where you have to be in his actual physical presence to get it? Some pheromone thing? Otherwise I'm baffled.

[Stella MD]

I totally agree. He's like a real-life version of Henry Huggins.

[PoorerThanDead]

I absolutely think this is her line of thinking. But boy is it misguided to think this franchise could help your self-esteem in any way.

 

Hah! I’m pretty sure it hurts my self-esteem just watching it.

[Cecily]

Lacy also reminds me of Christine Taylor, who played Marcia (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!!!) in the Brady Bunch movies.  Not a fan....of Lacy.  I do like Christine Taylor ;).

 

Or Christine Taylor, who played the "winner" on the first season of Burning Love, the Bachelor parody :) Did you all see it? You should, it's hilarious.

 

I'm really enjoying BIP so far, although I'm totally Reality Steve spoiled. Anyway, I watch it for the craziness, not for the fuzzy feelings I get over who will hook up. I'm into the cheese, not the romance.

 

Poor Michelle, she's probably not that old looking in real life, she just lays the makeup on way too thick. I'm guessing she would look younger, and IMO more attractive with a more natural look.

 

The appeal of Graham? I think it's his talent for playing hard to get. He's the kind of guy who will flirt and be nice to a bunch of women, but he won't get into a serious relationship unless she's "the one". They all want to be "the one" who finally bags this elusive bachelor. I remember finding him more attractive on DeAnna's season. I agree with whoever said he hasn't aged well. His face has gotten a bit boney. Maybe if he put on a little bit more weight.

[CorgiNarnia]

To make it not so dire when someone doesn't get a date card, why don't they set up group dates for the rest of them? I don't think it is fair to everyone when only a few get to go on an actual date before the rose ceremony takes place. Or if they think hanging around the resort is supposed to be fun, then they should have booked a nicer place with more amenities, i.e. we could see people at informal dates at the spa, working out in the gym, drinking at the hotel tiki bar, etc.

[Andromeda]

To make it not so dire when someone doesn't get a date card, why don't they set up group dates for the rest of them?

I like that idea. Why couldn't they? It's not about the "star" picking one date person and leaving the rest behind to fret and stew about it. Oh, right. It's really about people longing for date cards, not getting to know each other! Plus, they like it dire...

 

Love the Dante Alighieri reference. I just read Dan Brown's Inferno, so I have Dante on the brain.

 

I also don't get Graham's appeal. One of those "have to be there" situations, I suppose. 

 

 

 

To be fair, I think she was literally speechless for like, those 10 seconds. She didn’t specify how long. That might very well be “literally” the longest she’s ever gone without regaling the world and the viewers and the raccoons with her antics.

That's how I saw it, too.

 

 

 

Or Christine Taylor, who played the "winner" on the first season of Burning Love, the Bachelor parody :) Did you all see it? You should, it's hilarious.

Hah! I didn't realize she was Marcia in the Brady Bunch movie. That movie was hilarious! And so is Burning Love.

Edited August 7, 2014 by Andromeda

[Alapaki]

To make it not so dire when someone doesn't get a date card, why don't they set up group dates for the rest of them?

 

 

I think the "dire"ness, which leads to desperation is, as the kids say, "a feature, not a bug" of this show.

[PoorerThanDead]

Just thinking some more about this Dante thing, which got me laughing, I’m pretty sure that the contestants on BIP have got more than just a couple of the levels/circles of Inferno covered.

[fib]

Poor Michelle, she's probably not that old looking in real life, she just lays the makeup on way too thick. I'm guessing she would look younger, and IMO more attractive with a more natural look.

 

The appeal of Graham? I think it's his talent for playing hard to get. He's the kind of guy who will flirt and be nice to a bunch of women, but he won't get into a serious relationship unless she's "the one". They all want to be "the one" who finally bags this elusive bachelor. I remember finding him more attractive on DeAnna's season. I agree with whoever said he hasn't aged well. His face has gotten a bit boney. Maybe if he put on a little bit more weight.

 

Its weird, because on her season, Michelle Money looked fabulous in the tropics (Costa Rica, I think) while the other girls looked like their faces were melting off.  The she started helping them, and they started to look better and have their hair last a little longer. 

 

I think you've nailed the Graham situation.  I think he is the rare guy who plays nice with women even when he doesn't want anything from them.  The type of women who go on this show aren't the kind of women who are used to that.  So they swoon.  

While I'm sure he's a nice guy, there's something a little weird about him doing that repeatedly to the same end.  I think he likes the attention enough to not be straightforward with the women, which makes him a player of sorts, which is why I think he's always grated a bit for me. 

[JudyObscure]

As far as I can tell through my TV, I think Michelle has a pretty bad case of dark pigment splotches on her face. I noticed it on past seasons and this time while she was on the beach with Marquel. I had it once and it took about two years of total sun avoidance before it went away. So I think she wears heavy make-up at night to cover it. That in itself could make her look older than she is. Still gorgeous though!

[Padma]

You know all these people heard the "in paradise" part of the concept and were thinking "awesome, the Bachelor and Bachelorette have gone to some really cool places, this will be amazing."  Then they got to this shit hole.  I wouldn't have needed to have some other mystery hook up to turn down a rose at the first ceremony for this place.  I don't think I would have even made it that long. "We're really staying here?  I've got to go, I think I left the oven on."

 

Seriously! Unless there is a HUGE per diem for being there or they expect a big payoff at the end I don't see how they could get anyone to stay. (Hookups? Apparently those are easy at any TB reunion.)

 

I can't understand the choice of location. A bunch of beautiful...or at least attractive...young people trying to hook up at a gorgeous beach resort might be watchable. Without the "gorgeous beach resort" part, you're left with a bunch of attractive but completely uninteresting people stuck in a place where there's nothing to do that could help make them MORE interesting. 

 

I watch all the cheesy bachelor shows, and expected this might be a fun train wreck, but I didn't expect it to be like this. I'd rather see CH in his luxury digs taking his kids to nice restaurants and making sand castles on the beach.

[KerleyQ]

I'd rather see CH in his luxury digs taking his kids to nice restaurants and making sand castles on the beach.

 

 

I'd love the people behind the scenes SO much if they ran scenes at the end of each night of the cast trying to get comfy in their humid, bug-ridden hut and then fade over to Chris bunking in to his luxury hotel, getting all comfy on his down pillows and 1,000 count thread sheets, setting the room's thermostat nice and low, and ordering up a room service bedtime snack. 

[jumper sage]

I get that they wanted some on the beach location but I cannot believe they couldn't find some five star resort/villa in Mexico to film this.

Especially with all the killings of people, you know the drugs and cartels and police and bystanders and heads on sticks and bodies in cars.  I hear you can get a real nice place there for a song.

[Padma]

I'd love the people behind the scenes SO much if they ran scenes at the end of each night of the cast trying to get comfy in their humid, bug-ridden hut and then fade over to Chris bunking in to his luxury hotel, getting all comfy on his down pillows and 1,000 count thread sheets, setting the room's thermostat nice and low, and ordering up a room service bedtime snack. 

That'd be hilarious.

 

I'm another one who can't figure Graham's appeal out. He seems pleasant enough, and it's impressive if he really does have a genuine friendship with Michelle Money. But he's not aging well, looks to me like he could play one of the "rural" parts in Deliverance.

I liked Clare on TB and am glad she's getting a bit of redemption here. Hope the raccoon will become a recurring co-star. It's hard to believe that some of these people (like Ben, Chris B and Sarah) would come back on a show like this, but I guess some people will do anything for "fame" or money.

[Roaster]

I just don't get the draw to Lacey. Other than humongous, clearly fake boobs,

Do you really think they're fake?  I don't know how you can say "clearly".  I would hope ABC has a policy of no previously cosmetic surgery for contestants on these shows.

[Rhondinella]

I would hope ABC has a policy of no previously cosmetic surgery for contestants on these shows.

 

 

I'd be more surprised to find it wasn't a requirement :-)

[truthaboutluv]

Do you really think they're fake?  I don't know how you can say "clearly".  I would hope ABC has a policy of no previously cosmetic surgery for contestants on these shows.

 

Doubtful since I'm pretty sure Andi had a nose job years ago. I had heard people reference that before but never paid attention but someone posted a picture of her in high school at ONTD and yeah, it's pretty obvious. I forgot to add that there is no question in my opinion, that Emily also had some work done.

Edited August 11, 2014 by truthaboutluv

[chocolatine]

I'd say 70% of the women have fake boobs, probably 30% have had a nose job, and a similar percentage botox and/or fillers in the attempt to look their stated age (i.e. 5-7 years younger than their real age). Almost everyone has weaves and fake lashes. Sometimes you see one woman with fake boobs "accusing" another of having fake boobs, which is extra-hilarious.

[Roaster]

There is definitely a physical "type" they cast for - and for the women it is long flowy hair (no wonder they never have Asians on this show!)  And the men all seem to have similar haircuts, too.  Within the type though, there is variation, and while they never have overweight people of either sex, there is variation in things like height and bust size.

[fib]

Doubtful since I'm pretty sure Andi had a nose job years ago…. I forgot to add that there is no question in my opinion, that Emily also had some work done.

Yup, Pictures of Emily in high school clearly indicate a nose job and cosmetic dentistry ala Hilary Duff, and I think theres some consensus she also has new boobs.  Jillian has had a nose job, but she did the show first.  Shayne Lamas was a whole world of work.  Vienna's work is so infamous its been in tabloids that she used her ex's money while he was deployed to buy new boobs. And thats only scraping the surface.

But Tierra's eyebrows? She was born with that sparkle. 

Edited August 11, 2014 by fib

[KR Vermont]

Almost everyone has weaves

^ and several of them appeared as if they were stroking their hair extensions during much of the episode, it got distracting

[Bugs Meany]

I'd say 70% of the women have fake boobs

Not even close. They're all slender women, and most are appropriately/proportionally modest up top. Lots of B cups. Surely the percentage is higher than it is in the gen pop, but it's not even 50 percent. I pay, er, close attention to this topic each season, and would say it's at most 33 percent. Edited August 11, 2014 by Bugs Meany

[ramble]

^ and several of them appeared as if they were stroking their hair extensions during much of the episode, it got distracting

I started noticing this as a thing when Nicki Minaj & Mariah Carey's were on American Idol. They kept petting their hair like they had small animals resting on each shoulder. I can't not see women do it now. It's an odd habit. I considered taking it up but sadly I don't have anyone to listen to my talking heads when I narrate my life so I just put my hair in a ponytail & talk to myself.