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S16.E01: There’s no Me in Polygamy


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10 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

No disrespect to Christine, who I actually like, especially in light of recent events, but I couldn't believe it when she said that she was disappointed that the homes were to be built so far apart on Coyote Pass, unlike the cul de sac they had in Vegas.  She was lamenting being so far apart...Girl, you are the one who put the kibosh on the one giant home idea!  

I may be totally off base here, and this is certainly an assumption. I assumed that Christine felt that way more because of Truly than because of herself. If the homes were close together, Truly could bounce around and visit her siblings without having to walk miles (I know someone threw out 10,000 steps in a conversation about Farmer Janelle). If they're all in the same house, there's no real autonomy. If they're in a cul de sac, Truly could run from one home to another relatively easy.

Edited by JayDub1987
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16 hours ago, deirdra said:

The straightness of it in rocky terrain makes me think it could run alongside a regional natural gas line (and there are rules restricting buildings and other things within a certain distance of them). And those aren't "rocks" that can be easily moved, but bedrock that requires blasting (which requires more permits) to put in the utilities and probably some of the house foundations. All things normal people would have taken into consideration BEFORE buying the lots.

Imagine them trying to blow up the bedrock if you are right........ (which I don't doubt btw, thanks for your input!)

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4 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

I agree, I don't think she's faking either.

Meri spends part of the time making childish, petty, passive-aggressive digs at Kody - what's the need for that type of immature revenge if you don't even want him. 

Then she spends another part of the time shamelessly begging him to come over and slip her the D. 🤮

When that doesn't work, she goes back to taking digs at him...not because she's so "over" him, but because she isn't getting what she wants.

When neither the begging or sniping at him works, she tries sucking up to Robyn.

These are the kind of "Bulldozer Meri" behaviors that leave me with little sympathy for her, and I lose the rest of that sympathy when it goes on for over 5 years and Meri refuses to accept that the object of her affection has a right to choose as well. Insisting you are going to force your love on someone who doesn't want it isn't love, in my book.

I think Meri's Emotional Maturity Dial is set to "Junior High".

Great post!

You also very accurately described some of the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder.

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15 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Great post!

You also very accurately described some of the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm not sure what part ego plays in BPD, but I feel that is at the root of Meri's behavior.  She reveled in the role of HBIC and since it was wrenched from her grasp she has made it her mission to gain some semblance of control and the adulation she feels she is due.

She thought she had it with the CF and convinced herself that she was somehow worthy of this fictional individual that would introduce her to a life of luxury.  Nowhere in her pathetic ramblings did I hear her question why a younger, handsome, wealthy, world traveler would be interested in her.  What was she bringing to the table?  She is not well educated or even well read, did she somehow think she would be a trophy wife based on her appearance? 

It would have been her ultimate revenge had this panned out for her but because Sam was a Sham, she resorts to the next best thing, and that would be for Kody to declare that she was his first and only true love.  She could then walk away with her giant ego intact.

Dream On Meri. 

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24 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

I'm not sure what part ego plays in BPD, but I feel that is at the root of Meri's behavior.  She reveled in the role of HBIC and since it was wrenched from her grasp she has made it her mission to gain some semblance of control and the adulation she feels she is due.

She thought she had it with the CF and convinced herself that she was somehow worthy of this fictional individual that would introduce her to a life of luxury.  Nowhere in her pathetic ramblings did I hear her question why a younger, handsome, wealthy, world traveler would be interested in her.  What was she bringing to the table?  She is not well educated or even well read, did she somehow think she would be a trophy wife based on her appearance? 

It would have been her ultimate revenge had this panned out for her but because Sam was a Sham, she resorts to the next best thing, and that would be for Kody to declare that she was his first and only true love.  She could then walk away with her giant ego intact.

Dream On Meri. 

ALL. OF. THIS. I was wondering for years how she could possibly think such a person would be interested in her (clue #2 that he wasn’t real). She is not cultured or refined in any way, nor did she seem to be trying to mold herself to “fit the part” so to speak (she remained a big, clueless clod). Boy did she bite hard on that bait. 

And now, here she is—clinging on, thinking somehow if she sexually harasses Kody enough he’ll “change his mind”, trying to stay in good with the current HBIC (like that’ll help) and filtering her photos as if Kodys forgotten what she really looks like. 

I don’t know what’s wrong with Meri or what’s going on in that noggin of hers, but it’s not based in reality that’s for sure.

I think what irritates me most is the photo filtering—if she hates her appearance so much, she could work out like a beast, change her diet, lose 50lb and go to a surgeon to smooth out her face. No filters needed after that! She might even feel good enough about herself to move on from trying to harass Kody back into her arms. 

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1 hour ago, Rabbit Hutch said:

As bad as Kooty's behavior is (and he's loathsome), Meri's behavior is now close to matching his stroke for stroke.  Kooty's an azz, but Meri did cheat on him with a banana, and now the whole world is aware of it and that's gotta be hard to take, no matter who you are. Especially with a narcissist such as Kooty.

 

 

Thanks for that mental image that I'll never be able to get out of my head.

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6 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Loved this entire post.

My take is that they certainly were all extremely resentful of Robyn but couldn't voice it to King Kodork - if you criticized his Dark Queen, he was fully willing and able to take out your resentment on your kids by withholding his visit time.  So Christine coped by consuming anti-depressants, Janelle has been shoving her fillings down with peanut-butter Fritos and Meri went looking for love in the produce section.  As the younger kids get older, we are starting to see - via Christine - that she no longer has to put up with being treated like dog crap on the bottom of Kody's shoe in order to get him to spend a hot minute with the kids they have together.  She seems to have figured out that no matter how fast she tap-dances for that jerk, he does NOT care about their kids, so there's no need to keep trying.

TL;DR - Kody is a sh!t father, husband, man and human being.

 

 

Remember season 3 or 4 when Christine and Janelle dared to criticize Queen Meri about her outrageous spending and big house for just two people? How they had to make do with the same budget and space with 6 instead of 1 kid?  They were whipped back into the dog house with full force. 

There's no way that Janelle and Christine would ever try this again, definitely not because the current Queen has even more power and Kody on a leash. Janelle seems to have accepted this and Christine finally realised things would never improve, she was tired of playing second third fourth fiddle and she left.

 

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Just watched.  To me, Kody seemed kinda reasonable about trying to gauge his "wives'" feelings about moving to Utah.  Also, to me, it seems that Janelle and Robyn were the baddies here.  Kody wants to move, Meri is willing, Christine DESPERATELY wants to go, Janelle can grow tomatoes anywhere and simply likes AZ, and Robyn is having a hissy fit about having to move again....but not because she particularly likes AZ either.  If they cared for Christine at all, they should have voted with her, not again, since they didn't have any particular reason for staying.   Oh, and Meri, making jokes about Kody not coming to see you isn't cool or funny....it's sad.  Please stop that.  

On 11/22/2021 at 1:24 PM, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Why did Hunter have to go to Robyn’s? Why isn’t Robyn saying “let us know when it is a good time to cover over and see Hunter.” 

Yes, thank you.  Queen Robyn has to be approached?  She can't extend an invitation?  BS.

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On 11/23/2021 at 1:22 PM, Twopper said:

Kody and the first wives lived such a peripatetic life before LV than I am surprised anyone would ever want to see a uHaul or packing box again. 

I've moved A LOT in my life.  It becomes a habit and an urge.

re Janelle needing the "pond" to water her plants.  That is the worst idea.  My husband gardens and has to haul water from our house down to his garden.  Several hundred feet I would estimate.  And it is TIRING!  No way in hell is she hauling up enough water from that ditch (up the sides of it no less) in any meaningful way for any largish size garden.  She will think it's a great idea, do it once and say "nope, I need a hose."  Done. 

And WTF is going on with Robyn's neck!!!!! Go get that looked at!  You got some thyroid thing going on there. 

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On 11/24/2021 at 7:43 AM, 65mickey said:

I agree with you 100% GeeGolly. When Kody and Robyn came up with the plan and convinced Meri to divorce Kody I believe that it hurt her terribly. She was hurt and humiliated and that is why she tried to find someone else.  And I am sure part of this was to get back at Kody.  it just didn't work out for her. This scenario happens all of the time.  I alternate between feeling soory for Meri, embarrassed for her and mad with her for staying.  But then why not.  Hang around get a ay check while helping her Lula NO crap sales and be a thorn in Kody's side.  I wish that she wouldn't moon over him and beg for crumbs of his attention. Treat him like he is a moron and dismiss anything and everything that he says and wants.

 Also each season Kody gets more and more angry and aggressive. I think he is ready to explode and to tell these other Not-Robyns and their children to get the hell out and leave him alone.  He is a horrible excuse for a man and a husband. 

Armchair diagnosing disclaimer..

What I see in Kody these last seasons I have also seen and experienced in my husband, his family and other men I know.  Especially in men nearing their 50s or over 50. Depression is such a powerful force, and it happens in so many different ways. High energy and hyper focus can be depression. Extreme fatigue. Anger...and on and on. Not just "I can't get out of bed, nor do I have any desire to..." kind of thing. I read an article recently that middle aged white men are the highest rate of suicide.

His anger and aggression (in my opinion) looks very much like when a toddler is doing what they always do to get a certain result...but they aren't getting that result.  However they also can't process to do anything else, so they push more and act out. Then act out more. Then it just escalates further.

From what I have seen of Kody on camera over these years is that he might have a wee bit of self reflection...then it just seems to drift away like the smoke of a blown out candle and he is back to reassuring himself that he isn't wrong...they are. He just can't look within himself to see the need for change, let alone ever actually change.

He is accustomed to behaving one way and the wives and children are supposed to just jump and respond. Yet the wives are also aging and changing. Growing more like!! Kody is stuck in toddler-like behavior and the wives have grown past him. His children are now free thinking adults and no longer jump and scream when he walks in a room. He is truly the neediest child of the whole lot.

This episode sees the huge difference in the way he treats everyone. No matter what you say to Janelle she will just do as she pleases because she knows she can get away with it.  Christine is 10 paces in the wrong when she is actually right...but she can't ever be right because Kody has turned her into the enemy of his life. Meri is the annoying ex-girlfriend who happens to be the sister of your new girlfriend so you have to put up with her every time you see your girlfriends family. And Robyn...well. Robyn is mommy. Kody behaves like a child being chastised when Robyn is lecturing him. His entire demeanor changes in a very profound way. This man can not hide any of his feelings through his body language. Nor has he ever learned to put a filter on his mouth.

The entire family has moved so many times.  Maddie saying that all the adults just get bored. Kody's need to move not long after the Vegas houses were built (based on tiny tidbits within their dialog over the last seasons). He just seems to be testing everyone's breaking point again and again.  He gives Robyn a promise to never move (which I think she forced out of him) and then turns and uses it as a weapon. To use (yet another) Office quote, He is "out of carrots and out of sticks" and really has no clue how to make this group of people (that he gave autonomy to) do his bidding.

To add on to the comment by @deirdra about the access road, which oddly enough they didn't even mark on their new map layout...yes, it is an easement for the gas line.  So. It will come with a lot of its own rules for building. I live in gas well country and they are everywhere. The one and ONLY thing that was clearly marked when I purchased my house was the gas line. The main line runs just off our property and it was clearly staked with flags. If you are going to build a house, and especially a septic system you will have to build in accordance to the easement. The pond and property lines will also have their own codes. I also call a TLC "bull" on the survey guy. He might be one...might. However people who survey are not builders. They measure and mark lines, boundaries and the topography. He made note of the rock in the trees, and then the camera shows a pile of rock...yet who knows what the ground is made out of.  Janelle made note long ago that the property had a well...but all the time they have walked the property you have never seen any kind of cap randomly in the ground. One well will not service four(five?) properties/houses. Christines house that was further down the valley and Robyns house both have water delivery cisterns. Kody leaves out so many real life details when talking about the propertieS and the building etc.

And...after watching the old Thanksgiving episode it will be fascinating to see how they navigate holidays. Christine was the backbone of their holidays and just like when you are a young adult with a growing family of your own and your parents split up and remarry into patchwork families...who goes where and when for the holidays? If you are a working adult you don't get weeks off to travel multiple places (and sometimes far distances) for multiple get togethers. Will kids have to choose to visit Christine or to travel to Flagstaff for Robyn's version of the holiday? Janelle seems to be more than willing to turn and head straight east for her own small gathering at Maddies.

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Hoping someone noticed this and can help me figure it out...

At one point in the episode, there was a photo of the four women when they were very much younger.  They were wearing jeans and there was a snow backdrop.  My confusion is that this was waaayy before Robin became part of the family.  I paused it and looked closely but couldn't detect any noticeable Photoshopping of Robin's photo.  Can someone explain?

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9 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

Hoping someone noticed this and can help me figure it out...

At one point in the episode, there was a photo of the four women when they were very much younger.  They were wearing jeans and there was a snow backdrop.  My confusion is that this was waaayy before Robin became part of the family.  I paused it and looked closely but couldn't detect any noticeable Photoshopping of Robin's photo.  Can someone explain?

I don't think Robyn is photoshopped in.

If I am thinking of the correct photo, then I think you are being thrown off by Meri's very long hair (because this is what I used to think). It makes it appear the pic was taken long before we met the Brown's on the tv show.

But, in season 1, they throw a b-day party for Robyn...and Meri has the long hair at that party. I can't think of a single other instance of Meri having long hair in the whole run of the show...but it's there during Robyn's 30th b-day party. 

I believe the pic was taken when Kody and Robyn were courting, but not married yet. 

 

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14 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

I don't think Robyn is photoshopped in.

If I am thinking of the correct photo, then I think you are being thrown off by Meri's very long hair (because this is what I used to think). It makes it appear the pic was taken long before we met the Brown's on the tv show. 

It's more than that.  IIRC, Kody and Robin courted around a year before getting married.  The Robin who married Kody looks like what we've seen her look like over the course of the show...she was thinner and younger then, but still with the essential Robin look that we've seen.  The Robin in the picture they showed, which I had never seen before, is even thinner, and longer straighter hair.  Plus Christina's face still had that look of how she looked in her wedding photo, which she definitely hasn't looked like since the show started, and Mary had that thinner elongated face.

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40 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

It's more than that.  IIRC, Kody and Robin courted around a year before getting married.  The Robin who married Kody looks like what we've seen her look like over the course of the show...she was thinner and younger then, but still with the essential Robin look that we've seen.  The Robin in the picture they showed, which I had never seen before, is even thinner, and longer straighter hair.  Plus Christina's face still had that look of how she looked in her wedding photo, which she definitely hasn't looked like since the show started, and Mary had that thinner elongated face.

I had to go look on my DVR at the episode now...

This is a slightly different pose of a pic that is also used in their book. For Robyn to be photoshopped in, she would have had to have been photoshopped into not one, but two, photographs, and then both TLC and whoever published their book would have had to agree to use doctored, fake photos.

So, I don't think that happened.

Christine may look a bit heavier in the face, similar to her wedding photo, but keep in mind that while Kody and Robyn were courting, she would have been pregnant with Truely. Christine is wearing a scarf that partly covers her mid-section, and she's a tall woman...she may not "show" as pregnant, but she likely is, and that may affect how her face looks a bit.

Regarding Robyn's longer, straighter hair - it probably looks longer because it's straightened. She usually wears a style with at least some kind of curl to it.

I did not think Robyn looked thinner or much different o the pic than she appears in early seasons of the show. Similarly, I don't think Meri in the pic looks much different than the Meri we saw on Season 1...she looks different than the Meri we see now, but it's been many years and Meri has packed on the pounds.

It looks to me like they had a professional photo shoot, since several photos with slightly different poses exist, and the professional who took them may have airbrushed all four ladies to look a little better...but it's essentially a real picture, and Robyn really was there with the other three.

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6 hours ago, Dobian said:

It doesn't matter whether they live in Flagstaff or St. George, Christine is never going to be happy because her issue isn't where she lives but the fact that she's married to a D-bag.

Had they moved en masse to Utah, she would have found that the geographical cure would not work, radical surgery was required.

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On 11/25/2021 at 7:31 PM, Granny58 said:

I've moved A LOT in my life.  It becomes a habit and an urge.

re Janelle needing the "pond" to water her plants.  That is the worst idea.  My husband gardens and has to haul water from our house down to his garden.  Several hundred feet I would estimate.  And it is TIRING!  No way in hell is she hauling up enough water from that ditch (up the sides of it no less) in any meaningful way for any largish size garden.  She will think it's a great idea, do it once and say "nope, I need a hose."  Done. 

And WTF is going on with Robyn's neck!!!!! Go get that looked at!  You got some thyroid thing going on there. 

Same with the moving (govt work). The last place we were at I could not wait to get the hell out of (redneck desert hellhole) but love where we’re at now (long island). Eventually we’d love to settle in the forest somewhere in the Midwest away from other humans. 

Yeah Robyn looks like the life has been sucked out of her. She used to be vibrant and energetic. 

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On 11/22/2021 at 11:01 AM, WhatAmIWatching said:

It was at the very end in the coming this season clips. It looked like Thanksgiving dinner around Robyn's giant table with all of her kids, but there was a young gal seated next to Kody I didn't recognize. Maybe one of the other mom's girls?

Or maybe the next wife!

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On 11/27/2021 at 8:16 AM, Dobian said:

It doesn't matter whether they live in Flagstaff or St. George, Christine is never going to be happy because her issue isn't where she lives but the fact that she's married to a D-bag.

Agreed, but with the family in Utah, she could at least have done a Meri and  say "Do what the h*ll you guys want for the day/week/month but I'm off to see my kids, family and friends. When I'm home, I'm home and you can come and visit. If I'm not, well....I don't care.

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On 11/22/2021 at 8:12 PM, MargeGunderson said:

He could get a pair and divorce her. Meri may be pathetic, but she does want him back. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with her, but he won’t cut her free, which is just another reason he’s an asshole.

This is what I've been wondering.  The catfish saga shows that Meri is (or was, anyway) ready to dump Kody and didn't only because things didn't work out (to say the least).  Is she sticking around to get him to divorce her?  Is there some advantage, financial or otherwise, and especially in a polyg family, in being the one who is left rather than the leaver? 

She surely realizes what a fool she looks, mooning over that jackass--can it *possibly* be genuine?  I hope not.  I hope she has a secret plot to take him and Robyn to the cleaners.

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22 minutes ago, Mothra said:

This is what I've been wondering.  The catfish saga shows that Meri is (or was, anyway) ready to dump Kody and didn't only because things didn't work out (to say the least).  Is she sticking around to get him to divorce her?  Is there some advantage, financial or otherwise, and especially in a polyg family, in being the one who is left rather than the leaver? 

She surely realizes what a fool she looks, mooning over that jackass--can it *possibly* be genuine?  I hope not.  I hope she has a secret plot to take him and Robyn to the cleaners.

They’re already divorced—Meri divorced Kody in 2015 (ish) so he could marry and legally adopt Robyn’s kids (so the story goes). 

As far as the relationship, Kody has already explained to Meri—quite clearly—that they don’t have a marriage relationship anymore—nothing physical. He’s also said he won’t push her out, but has set clear boundaries. I find her flirting and awkward pining painful to watch…..it feels like sexual harassment to me. As much as I dislike Kody, the behaviour coming from Meri is gross and desperate. I can’t tell it’s it’s “genuine” or not, but this IS a woman who delusionally thinks she’s hot stuff. Wouldn’t surprise me if it is genuine.  

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On 11/26/2021 at 9:46 PM, LuvMyShows said:

Hoping someone noticed this and can help me figure it out...

At one point in the episode, there was a photo of the four women when they were very much younger.  They were wearing jeans and there was a snow backdrop.  My confusion is that this was waaayy before Robin became part of the family.  I paused it and looked closely but couldn't detect any noticeable Photoshopping of Robin's photo.  Can someone explain?

Thank you.  I noticed that pic too, Meri with long hair and all much thinner and...there's Robyn????

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On 11/26/2021 at 9:46 PM, LuvMyShows said:

Hoping someone noticed this and can help me figure it out...

At one point in the episode, there was a photo of the four women when they were very much younger.  They were wearing jeans and there was a snow backdrop.  My confusion is that this was waaayy before Robin became part of the family.  I paused it and looked closely but couldn't detect any noticeable Photoshopping of Robin's photo.  Can someone explain?

@Sasha888 has already mentioned that Meri has long hair in the scenes filmed celebrating Robyn's birthday which is in October if I remember.  There is one other scene, but it is only quick quick on screen when the camera pans the room as Kody sits all the kids down to giggle while he is trying to tell them that he is going to ask Robyn to "join the family".

I looked at the photo in the book and found another online where three are seated and Christine is standing that looks like it is from the same photo shoot.  Meri has long hair, but Janelle has natural looking blond hair.  My memory tells me she always had bleached looking hair from the beginning, she also looks very uncomfortable in the photos. In my opinion Christine looks like she is on the heavy side as she was, but she is most like beginning to show from her pregnancy. That photo was most likely taken right before they began filming or soon after.  The even lighting makes me think the back drops are just that...the professional kind in a photo studio with added props. Even the one with the bit of snow at the bottom doesn't show their feet. Their faces are evenly lit, if its outside it would have been on a very overcast day.

 

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1 hour ago, Roslyn said:

Meri has long hair, but Janelle has natural looking blond hair.  My memory tells me she always had bleached looking hair from the beginning, she also looks very uncomfortable in the photos.

Well. I am quoting myself...because this is now bugging me I went back to the first episode...

Janelle's hair is the same natural looking blond as in the photos AND Meri has her hair pulled back into a bun at the back of her head...so it was long in the "Meet the wives" S1E1.

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What does Janelle say to Cody, when they are in her garden, “give me the property, and the she can go”,  referring  to Christine wanting to move to Utah.  Didn’t each one of the wives and Cody put in an equal share into that property?  

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On 11/29/2021 at 4:14 AM, Emmeline said:

What does Janelle say to Cody, when they are in her garden, “give me the property, and the she can go”,  referring  to Christine wanting to move to Utah.  Didn’t each one of the wives and Cody put in an equal share into that property?  

Yeah that was an interesting one! I think she literally meant it. They would owe her somewhere around the 150-200k if they all have an equal share and want to buy her out.  But even if they don’t have equal shares, it’s still a lot of money. And all their money is locked in the mansion and Coyote Pass, so how would they have to do that? 

But Christine may also be the sole owner of a piece of land, if there was any truth in that ridiculous scene where they were dividing up the land (again).In that case, she could simply sell it to the highest bidder. Now that would be funny and really upset Kody!

Edited by LilyD
Added: if they want to buy her out
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I saw on another site that someone did the calculations on the plague plots. Kody has his grubby hands on each one, the next person that has the most "land" is Robyn, surprise surprise, then Janelle, and Christine and Meri. Honestly at this point, 3 years later I am pretty sure nothing has been done. Just sell the property already, let it be someone else's who will actually build on it. You can see since they brought the plots years ago, it didnt seem like  much was around there at all, and now you are seeing houses pop up all over the place around it,not so "country living" anymore

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23 hours ago, LilyD said:

Yeah that was an interesting one! I think she literally meant it. They would owe her somewhere around the 150-200k if they all have an equal share and want to buy her out.  But even if they don’t have equal shares, it’s still a lot of money. And all their money is locked in the mansion and Coyote Pass, so how would they have to do that? 

But Christine may also be the sole owner of a piece of land, if there was any truth in that ridiculous scene where they were dividing up the land (again).In that case, she could simply sell it to the highest bidder. Now that would be funny and really upset Kody!

Someone looked it up on the county records and each plot of land had 2-3 names on each plot.  So my guess would be that Christine could demand the value of her portion of land.  If they can't give it to her then they would have to sell the plot her name is on.  It might not be worth as much as they think it is.

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