S13.E12: Is There Someone Else?

[Gator Stud]

On 10/6/2021 at 5:09 PM, Elizzikra said:

What were the little packets of stuff that Myrla and Gil put in their smoothies? I think there was a strawberry on the box?

They were cannabis concentrates. Gil is moving on from firefighting, so he's not worried about the drug test.

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Ryan's face creeps me out and he is just so dead in the entire face. He has no personality and I don't find him to be a good looking guy. I think he thinks he's this gorgeous man but I don't see what he sees. 

While I don't find Brett to be pretty, I do think she is attractive ( I didn't at first.) But she's been looking better every episode. I think she knows they are going to get a divorce and is just waiting out the inevitable. Even if Ryan was willing to actually try, I could personally never be with someone who isn't into me or isn't attracted to me.

Johnny is showing his true colors more and more with every passing episode. He picks fight after fight and I think he hates that Bao remains calm and mature because it makes him look like the bad one (which he is.) He is just SO immature and a narcissist. Even him saying that if she's giving 100 % then that means he's giving 150 % is just so Johnny. I have yet to see any effort he's putting in. Their relationship gives me so much whiplash. They appear to be having a great time and having fun together and then he always finds a way to ruin it. He is one big man baby. Ugh , cant stand him.

Johnny's idea of giving it 150 percent is not totally abandoning her, sometimes doing the minimum to help out with chores, and having sex with her once in a while when the mood strikes him.

I don't blame anyone for being not attracted to someone. There are some incredibly beautiful people in the world and not everyone would be attracted to them either based on personal tastes.

What I can not stand is his narcissism makes him want to paint her as a villain and say bad things about her characters that are blatantly untrue.

We get it.

She is the nerdy girl with the baby voices that you did not like in college. The only thing reason you would ever want her around is to tap that ass while you browse Hentai online.

That does not mean you need to disrespect her or make her feel small.

Also, Bao, get some sense and kick his Tweety bird-looking ass to the curb. You do not need to put up with his disrespect in order to play the role of "wifey". When he would not bring you around his family...that was the ultimate sign that you have no future together.

Edited October 8, 2021 by qtpye

[Elizzikra]

Quote

But why does he think he deserves a gorgeous model type?

I don't know that Brett thinks he "deserves" a model type - but for the sake of clarity, who "deserves" a good looking person and who doesn't? What are the criteria for earning a partner of immense beauty?

I do think that Brett deserves a partner he is attracted to, as does everyone.

[Crashcourse]

13 hours ago, Vanderboom said:

Jose is wrong but right. They COULD try something relatively local and build up to a vacation in Europe. Why not a weekend in New Orleans or (if it must be Texas) Galveston?

I think Jose is right about travel.  He might be cheap, but he also might be reluctant to travel outside the U.S. due to the pandemic.  Rachel should consider that as well.  

[Jax7917]

Does anyone else notice Myrla never says Gil’s name ? She always says “ my husband .” 

[StatisticalOutlier]

57 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't know that Brett thinks he "deserves" a model type - but for the sake of clarity, who "deserves" a good looking person and who doesn't? What are the criteria for earning a partner of immense beauty?

I do think that Brett deserves a partner he is attracted to, as does everyone.

For the sake of clarity, Ryan is the male half of the couple, not Brett.  😀

As for the criteria for earning a partner of immense beauty, I think it would be being a person of immense beauty to begin with.  There are some successful couples who are mismatched in the looks department, but people generally end up with someone in their own ballpark.

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't know that Brett thinks he "deserves" a model type - but for the sake of clarity, who "deserves" a good looking person and who doesn't? What are the criteria for earning a partner of immense beauty?

I do think that Brett deserves a partner he is attracted to, as does everyone.

Yeah, you can argue that Ryan should be attracted to Brett (I think Brett is more attractive than Ryan; there’s no there there for me with Ryan), and that he doesn’t deserve a Victoria’s Secret model, but none of that changes the fact that he isn’t attracted to Brett. That’s just how it is. “Should” doesn’t really apply here; it’s there or it’s not, and it’s not there for him. You can’t make someone be attracted to someone. Like Bonnie Raitt said, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t.” I think a lot of people have come across people that are “good on paper” but they just don’t give us butterflies (and I actually don’t think Brett and Ryan are a good match on paper).

Theyll hold on until decision day and then he’ll call it, probably saying something about how she deserves someone who’s all in, which she does. It’ll hurt, but nobody really wants to, or should, be with someone who isn’t into them. she’s not getting anything out of this, and won’t.

[bichonblitz]

14 hours ago, qtpye said:

I think Johnny knew his family would love Bao and that is why he did not want to bring her.

Maybe I'm wrong but I got a sense from his family that they thought what he was complaining about was bullshit. They have seen this juvenile behavior from him before. 

[Retired at last]

12 hours ago, Blissfool said:

Excuse me and I apologize if I'm not understanding some aspects of the culture, but why was Bao trying to learn their names in Mandarin. It would have been just fine to call them Frank and Joanne as their chyron said.

I believe it would be a way of expressing respect for them. Bao would have totally impressed his family and Johnny knew that. He said he didn't want his family to fall in love with her if he didn't think she would be around long term. So, he was hoping that the family would side with him, but they saw right through him and called him on it. They would have adored Bao.

[seacliffsal]

I know that Johnny's father refused to come to the wedding and that Johnny said he could never make his father proud, but I don't think that means Johnny's father is horrible.  I really do not blame the parents who do not support their child getting married on MAFS-yes, a lot of people will support their children no matter what they do (as we see on the local news all of the time) but maybe, just maybe, Johnny's father knows who/how Johnny is and that this is going to end of going very badly for all involved.  And, Johnny has been telling us every episode that Bao is horrible, so maybe the issue is Johnny and not his father or Bao (although Bao does annoy me at times).  I think Johnny's family totally knows who he is.  And, I think Johnny has an unrealistic expectation of how he should be treated and how a woman should act in a relationship.

I also think that Rachel has a horrible temper and that is what she was telling Jose when she said he would not like bored Rachel during the summer.  I see it as a way to justify horrible behavior and put the responsibility for it on the other person.  "If you don't go to Europe with me I will be horrible and you won't like it..."  YIKES!!!  If someone told me that in the early days of a relationship I would believe them and decide that we should both move on as we are not a good match.  I think both Jose and Rachel have tempers.

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 minute ago, seacliffsal said:

but maybe, just maybe, Johnny's father knows who/how Johnny is and that this is going to end of going very badly for all involved. 

I got the impression that Johnny's father lives in some other part of the country and has for some time, maybe even when Johnny was young, which makes me think Johnny and his father don't know each other that well.

[ByTor]

24 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

He said he didn't want his family to fall in love with her if he didn't think she would be around long term.

And then he told Bao that he didn't want her there because he wanted their argument to be settled 1st. He can't even keep his own lame stories straight.

[Spectator]

“Four weeks ago I didn’t even know a man like Jose could exist”.

Me neither, Rachel. Me neither.

[After7Only]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Yeah, you can argue that Ryan should be attracted to Brett (I think Brett is more attractive than Ryan; there’s no there there for me with Ryan), and that he doesn’t deserve a Victoria’s Secret model, but none of that changes the fact that he isn’t attracted to Brett. That’s just how it is. “Should” doesn’t really apply here; it’s there or it’s not, and it’s not there for him. You can’t make someone be attracted to someone. Like Bonnie Raitt said, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t.” I think a lot of people have come across people that are “good on paper” but they just don’t give us butterflies (and I actually don’t think Brett and Ryan are a good match on paper).

 

And I'm not sure that Ryan's lack of attraction is actually based on her physical attributes.  Other than her red hair, we haven't heard her comment anything about her looks.   When  Ryan does talk about not being attracted to Brett, it's usually more her about how she presents or carries herself.    He doesn't like that she's messy.  She's insecure and anxious to the point he feels the need to be overly calming towards her.  I think it she looked the same (maybe without the red hair) and had a more confident personality or was more southern belle girly he'd be attracted.      

 

[Spectator]

Ok, there is no getting around it that Johnny just plain sucks. And while I’m not a huge Bao fan either, I truly sympathize with her. No one should have to tolerate this sort of mental abuse.

All of that being said - I beg to differ when Bao repeatedly refers to her “gourmet meals”. I’m sure they’re fine, but you can tell a lot about someone’s culinary skills by the way they work their kitchen prep tools. Everything from Bao’s abysmal knife skills to just the way she stirs, the girl is not a gourmet chef. I applaud her effort for sure, and Johnny should be waaaaaay more appreciative, but one of Johnny’s issues with her seems to be that she tends to oversell herself and her efforts. This is one of the times where I can see what he’s saying - calling these gourmet meals is definitely a stretch.

Again, that being said, Johnny is so grossly unappreciative it’s just plain awful. I don’t care if she made him a peanut butter sandwich, he should be appreciative! It’s one less thing he has to do himself. Ughhh, these people! 

[qtpye]

4 minutes ago, Spectator said:

Ok, there is no getting around it that Johnny just plain sucks. And while I’m not a huge Bao fan either, I truly sympathize with her. No one should have to tolerate this sort of mental abuse.

All of that being said - I beg to differ when Bao repeatedly refers to her “gourmet meals”. I’m sure they’re fine, but you can tell a lot about someone’s culinary skills by the way they work their kitchen prep tools. Everything from Bao’s abysmal knife skills to just the way she stirs, the girl is not a gourmet chef. I applaud her effort for sure, and Johnny should be waaaaaay more appreciative, but one of Johnny’s issues with her seems to be that she tends to oversell herself and her efforts. This is one of the times where I can see what he’s saying - calling these gourmet meals is definitely a stretch.

Again, that being said, Johnny is so grossly unappreciative it’s just plain awful. I don’t care if she made him a peanut butter sandwich, he should be appreciative! It’s one less thing he has to do himself. Ughhh, these people! 

I think one of the biggest ironies about this couple is that Bao gave the show a list of names of people she definitely never wanted to be paired with for marriage. I thought she was a bit much at the time for doing this...

However, if Johnny had done the same thing, then Bao's name would have probably been on that list and we would not have to watch this mess.

Of course, that is only if Johnny is not like this with every woman. He has said that he has been on over a hundred first dates, so the problem probably lies with him and his list would have been way too long in the first place.

[Crashcourse]

19 minutes ago, ByTor said:

And then he told Bao that he didn't want her there because he wanted their argument to be settled 1st. He can't even keep his own lame stories straight.

I see it as him not wanting to tell her the real reason he didn't want her around his family--that he didn't want the family to like her because he knew he wouldn't stay married to her.  So to me, that makes sense. 

Johnny might be messed up in the head, but there's something about Bao that really does unnerve him.  I'm not saying he's scared of her like Zack is of Michaela, but I think his dislike of Bao is about more than showering habits and fixing meals (I have to laugh when Bao calls them "gourmet" because I wonder what that means to her).   

 

[Spectator]

Poor Bao - her body language when Johnny became unhinged and screamed from the other room while she was speaking to the camera spoke volumes. She wrapped her arms around herself for self protection. Nervously rubbing her arms up and down. That was so sad to see…this show has dropped this poor girl in a very volatile environment. It’s getting scary.

I hope producers are keeping a very close eye on the two of them and extract her from this nonsense if they think there’s even a chance Johnny might extend his mental abuse into physical abuse. Enough is enough. 

[Sycophant4Lease]

On 10/7/2021 at 6:30 AM, Katie111 said:

Johnny is just plain scary.  If he was a 200 pound black or white man everyone would be clamoring for Bao to get out of there for her own safety.  Since he is a wimpy looking 100 pound feminine Asian, he seems to get away with it.  The look in his eyes, the look on his face, and his throbbing veins during their conversation after dinner was absolutely terrifying.  He looked like something from a horror movie.  I was waiting for him to flip the table over and then blame her for it.  He has abuser written all over him and Bao needs to run as fast and as far as possible.   I would take Jose over him any day.  
 

And what he said in front of Pastor Cal was just so MEAN.  What could be worse than saying “I would literally prefer anyone in the world over you”.  In other words, you are the worst person ever.  I honestly think he may have his eye on one of the other wives just not sure who.   
 

Run Bao!  Run!!

Johnny and Jose seem to have great chemistry.  As a matter of fact, whenever they're together and Johnny has one of his emotional moments, it's Jose who's chasing him outside and comforting him.

Edited October 12, 2021 by Sycophant4Lease

[Empress1]

43 minutes ago, After7Only said:

And I'm not sure that Ryan's lack of attraction is actually based on her physical attributes.  Other than her red hair, we haven't heard her comment anything about her looks.   When  Ryan does talk about not being attracted to Brett, it's usually more her about how she presents or carries herself.    He doesn't like that she's messy.  She's insecure and anxious to the point he feels the need to be overly calming towards her.  I think it she looked the same (maybe without the red hair) and had a more confident personality or was more southern belle girly he'd be attracted.      

Agree, and I also don’t think they have much in common. He hunts; she doesn’t. They differ politically. He likes that kind of American Ninja Warrior stuff; she doesn’t (though as we saw, she’ll do it for him). I don’t think they’re particularly compatible, which may be what he’s picking up on.

35 minutes ago, Spectator said:

All of that being said - I beg to differ when Bao repeatedly refers to her “gourmet meals”. I’m sure they’re fine, but you can tell a lot about someone’s culinary skills by the way they work their kitchen prep tools. Everything from Bao’s abysmal knife skills to just the way she stirs, the girl is not a gourmet chef. I applaud her effort for sure, and Johnny should be waaaaaay more appreciative, but one of Johnny’s issues with her seems to be that she tends to oversell herself and her efforts. This is one of the times where I can see what he’s saying - calling these gourmet meals is definitely a stretch.

I mean, sure. I’m a very good cook (it’s a hobby for me, as I’ve said, so I put time and effort into experimenting and getting better at it) but I wouldn’t call myself a gourmet chef because I’m not. But I think it’s kind of like how Ryan would put up with messiness if Brett were a “Victoria’s Secret model.” If Johnny liked Bao, her overselling her cooking skills wouldn’t bother him. And his reaction is over the top - he was seething with anger, veins visibly throbbing in his temples, because she exaggerated her cooking abilities. He’s ridiculous.

And honestly, he should quit bitching about meals he didn’t cook. If my dude were like “pfft, you’re no gourmet chef,” and then sat down at dinner time expecting a meal, I would give him the side eye to end them all, and enjoy the meal I cooked for myself. Dinner for one.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Empress1

[greeneyedscorpio]

26 minutes ago, Sycophant4Lease said:

Johnny and Jose seem to have great chemistry.  As a matter of fact, whenever they're together and Johnny has one of his emotional moments, it's Jose whose chasing him outside and comforting him.

Abusers recognize each other

[Spectator]

Man, I sure hope Bao stopped sleeping with Johnny after hearing all the awful things he said about her…like he doesn’t want his family to meet her because he doesn’t even like her or that he would rather have been matched with virtually anyone else on the planet. Yikes! If not, I fear we have another Luke/Kate situation on hands where the abuser has broken the self-esteem of his wife to such a point that the weak shell of her that still remains continues to have sex with her abuser. 

Edited October 8, 2021 by Spectator

[Spectator]

I got to thinking, even though Brett’s messiness is an understandable issue for Ryan, I think it was pretty uncool of him to take their personal handheld camera into “her” bathroom when she wasn’t around to film (and narrate) the video of her mess. It seems like such an invasion of her personal space, especially knowing that that footage could be aired on TV for everyone to see. If he cared about his wife the way he claims, he would never have put her in such an embarrassing position. It’s just mean. Not. Cool.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Spectator

[pdlinda]

10 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

Abusers recognize each other

Both have fierce tempers that are seemingly uncontrollable.  The tempers are uncontrollable because neither sees the need (maybe producer driven) to appear less abusive and/or threatening than they are.  It's very easy to see why each of these 2 abusers is completely unsuited for marriage!!

Maybe after a few years of therapy each could process his underlying reasons for intense anger (that comes out "sideways" in their relationships) and move on to more healthy relationships.

The wives (Rachel and Bao) could also do with some therapy to develop skills of dealing with "difficult people"  (hopefully, not a husband whom each would choose) and create better emotional "space" for each to thrive without all the "baggage" they're apparently carrying now.

[Crashcourse]

Poor Bao, my ass.  If there's anyone I'd be somewhat afraid of it would be her--not Johnny.  She's putting on an act; he isn't.

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

For the sake of clarity, Ryan is the male half of the couple, not Brett.  😀

As for the criteria for earning a partner of immense beauty, I think it would be being a person of immense beauty to begin with.  There are some successful couples who are mismatched in the looks department, but people generally end up with someone in their own ballpark.

Right - my mistake on the names.

so pretty people deserve other pretty people and ugly people deserve other ugly people? Got it. And with any luck, we all end up old and wrinkly and half blind with cataracts so how we look is maybe less important when it’s all said and done…
 

1 hour ago, After7Only said:

And I'm not sure that Ryan's lack of attraction is actually based on her physical attributes.  Other than her red hair, we haven't heard her comment anything about her looks.   When  Ryan does talk about not being attracted to Brett, it's usually more her about how she presents or carries herself.    He doesn't like that she's messy.  She's insecure and anxious to the point he feels the need to be overly calming towards her.  I think it she looked the same (maybe without the red hair) and had a more confident personality or was more southern belle girly he'd be attracted.      

 

I think it’s more this. Or maybe Ryan can’t even articulate why he’s not attracted to Brett. He just knows he isn’t and he doesn’t see it developing. 

[bichonblitz]

Ummmm is Rachel going to be held captive and chained to the bed all summer while Jose is at work during the day? She needs to grow up. There are plenty of things to do during the day. She likes to work out, so go do that. Meet your girls for lunch, go shopping, whatever. When Jose comes home from work, go out to dinner sometimes. Take weekend road trips with your hubby. Plan a two week vacation to Europe with your mom or who ever. Doesn't have to be all freakin' summer long. Geez. These people will think of any way to sabotage their marriage with the lamest reasons of why it won't work. 

[kristen111]

So after Bao was cooking that big dinner, chopping and stirring, and Johnny eating everything, he has to bust her chops about everything that was bothering him.  I would have taken that big pot and dumped it on his head.  He was probably spoiled his whole life.  Now go cook yourself, you stupid inconsiderate Moron.

[glitterpussy]

2 hours ago, After7Only said:

And I'm not sure that Ryan's lack of attraction is actually based on her physical attributes.  Other than her red hair, we haven't heard her comment anything about her looks.   When  Ryan does talk about not being attracted to Brett, it's usually more her about how she presents or carries herself.    He doesn't like that she's messy.  She's insecure and anxious to the point he feels the need to be overly calming towards her.  I think it she looked the same (maybe without the red hair) and had a more confident personality or was more southern belle girly he'd be attracted. 

Eh, I'm not so sure. I do agree that he doesn't like any of those criteria either, but his tell was when he told sis that if she was a VS model, he'd do dishes with a smile. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Spectator said:

Poor Bao - her body language when Johnny became unhinged and screamed from the other room while she was speaking to the camera spoke volumes. She wrapped her arms around herself for self protection. Nervously rubbing her arms up and down. That was so sad to see…this show has dropped this poor girl in a very volatile environment. It’s getting scary.

One thing that's always bothered me about her is that she has a demeanor kind of like that all the time.  Even when just shooting the breeze on Unfiltered, she is hunched over with her head down, looking up.  Maybe even with her arms wrapped around herself.  So I'm not sure how much of what she was doing during the tantrum was unique to that moment.

1 hour ago, Spectator said:

All of that being said - I beg to differ when Bao repeatedly refers to her “gourmet meals”. I’m sure they’re fine, but you can tell a lot about someone’s culinary skills by the way they work their kitchen prep tools.

It looked like while Johnny was with his family, Bao was making lunches for the week for both of them, in little individual containers.  I wonder if when she heats one up one at work, everybody is all envious comparing her lunch-from-home with their sad little freezer burned Healthy Choice frozen dinner. 

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

I think one of the biggest ironies about this couple is that Bao gave the show a list of names of people she definitely never wanted to be paired with for marriage. I thought she was a bit much at the time for doing this...

I wonder how she chose who to put on that list.  It appears they were picking from a limited community, so did she put everyone she would be remotely compatible with on the list, leaving only Johnny and people she would obviously not be compatible with?  She did say she'd had a crush on him for all these years, and this would be a clever way to set it up.

Then again, the last thing the experts seem to match for is compatibility, so there goes that theory.

[kristen111]

37 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Ummmm is Rachel going to be held captive and chained to the bed all summer while Jose is at work during the day? She needs to grow up. There are plenty of things to do during the day. She likes to work out, so go do that. Meet your girls for lunch, go shopping, whatever. When Jose comes home from work, go out to dinner sometimes. Take weekend road trips with your hubby. Plan a two week vacation to Europe with your mom or who ever. Doesn't have to be all freakin' summer long. Geez. These people will think of any way to sabotage their marriage with the lamest reasons of why it won't work. 

Like I said before, what if they have a baby?  Stuck in the house.  Myrla will probably have two nurses.  Rachel will probably get Grandma to help.  My hubs worked nights and I was home with two little ones without car.  At night, I did arts n crafts and lots of reading.  Boiled baby bottles and made formula, and hung diapers on the clothes line.  Stone ages, but that’s the way it was.  Still married and alive, lol.  These girls want too much.  Just sayin.

[greeneyedscorpio]

33 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

So after Bao was cooking that big dinner, chopping and stirring, and Johnny eating everything, he has to bust her chops about everything that was bothering him.  I would have taken that big pot and dumped it on his head.  He was probably spoiled his whole life.  Now go cook yourself, you stupid inconsiderate Moron.

And i noticed the actual argument didn't start until he had completely cleaned his plate!  The audacity!

 

[kristen111]

On 10/6/2021 at 8:34 PM, mythoughtis said:

Bao has to woo Johnny because he demands flirtation throughout the day to be able to perform.  

Yeah, after she’s working in a Cancer center all day.

[Alexander Pope]

52 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

One thing that's always bothered me about her is that she has a demeanor kind of like that all the time.  Even when just shooting the breeze on Unfiltered, she is hunched over with her head down, looking up.  Maybe even with her arms wrapped around herself.  So I'm not sure how much of what she was doing during the tantrum was unique to that moment.

 

She was definitely genuinely upset at that moment (when Johnny was having his tantrum in the bedroom) but she was also VERY aware of the cameras and dare I say hamming it up a bit?  While I am on her side in this and think Johnny is horrible, I do think that she is more self-conscious than he and in general putting on more of a performance.  But hey they're on TV, and I don't blame her for that. She wants to control everything including her image and she is doing a much better job of that than he is.

[qtpye]

40 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

And i noticed the actual argument didn't start until he had completely cleaned his plate!  The audacity!

 

 

29 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Yeah, after she’s working in a Cancer center all day.

This is going to sound bizarre but Johnny reminds me a little of Prince Charles from The Crown.

He feels like he was forced to marry a woman he neither loves nor respects and therefore is going to hate everything she does or says.

I am not implying that Bao does not have her own issues but it is clear she is trying to make him happy and that is impossible because he will never be happy with her.

 That message came through loud and clear when he said that he wished he were matched with anyone other woman in the world besides her.

 

[pdlinda]

11 minutes ago, qtpye said:

he will never be happy with her.

....and that's obviously because he is unhappy with HIMSELF for reasons he cannot fathom and/or articulate.  Therefore, his ability to function "normally" in a relationship without professional help is slim to none.

If he could have resolved his personal issues himself and achieved a successful and fulfilling relationship with a mate he would have done so by this time.

[buttersister]

1 hour ago, glitterpussy said:

his tell was when he told sis that if she was a VS model, he'd do dishes with a smile. 

Ryan's trash.

Quote

He feels like he was forced to marry a woman he neither loves nor respects and therefore is going to hate everything she does or says.

Well, Johnny is a royal pain in the ass (among other sad, bad things.)

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Ryan's trash.

I just don't see that. If George Clooney was leaving his dirty laundry all over my house, I'd do dishes with a smile too. Attractive people are attractive. There is no shame in finding them attractive. 

I just don't see all the vitriol against Ryan. I think he's a decent looking guy with a good job, a slightly dry sense of humor, a reasonable intellect and a pretty kind heart. He's just not into Brett. That doesn't make him "trash" or a bad person. It just makes him a person who isn't attracted to Brett.

[Alexander Pope]

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I just don't see that. If George Clooney was leaving his dirty laundry all over my house, I'd do dishes with a smile too. Attractive people are attractive. There is no shame in finding them attractive. 

I just don't see all theI vitriol against Ryan. I think he's a decent looking guy with a good job, a slightly dry sense of humor, a reasonable intellect and a pretty kind heart. He's just not into Brett. That doesn't make him "trash" or a bad person. It just makes him a person who isn't attracted to Brett.

I like Ryan too and I do think he is kind.  However he is being a wimp here and his fear of hurting Brett is making things worse.  As many others have said, and as Zach told him, he needs to man up and tell her the truth.  And he could also tell her that her sloppiness is bugging him while he is at it.  I'm sure he could do so nicely.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Alexander Pope

[mythoughtis]

5 hours ago, Spectator said:

hope producers are keeping a very close eye on the two of them and extract her from this nonsense if they think there’s even a chance Johnny might extend his mental abuse into physical abuse. Enough is enough. 

If you watch the scene, there is someone walking out of the room close to the second bedroom door as Johnny walks into the second bedroom to scream. Obviously part of the film crew.  So I think there is someone there most  of the time.  I also think Johnny goes home to work remotely ( he’s mentioned it) and probably stays there two nights a week.   One of the talking heads or unfiltered interviews mentioned the couples spending all day 5 days a week with each other. 

Edited October 9, 2021 by mythoughtis

[buttersister]

40 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

That doesn't make him "trash" or a bad person. It just makes him a person who isn't attracted to Brett.

Trash was directly linked to this idea of a VS model being an unrepentant slob and that not being any issue at all--so besides the comment, which I don't find just about being attracted to an attractive person--his pouty dishonesty under the guise of being kind doesn't score any points with me. 

[gwen747]

Johnny needs to just end this. It's not that difficult. He isn't attracted to Bao at all. Period. And now he's at the nitpicky stage finding fault with everything she does. It's exhausting not to mention it makes him look like an ass.

And Bao needs to wake up. Face reality: your husband isn't into you. There's no amount of meal prep that will change his mind. 

Edited October 8, 2021 by gwen747

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Johnny and Bao have me trapped in their dysfunctional cycle:

1. Johnny is an unreasonable jerk.
2. However, Bao does exaggerate or play up the martyrdom thing, which is annoying. She is really too old to act like this. 
3. So Johnny isn't totally unreasonable. He's definitely a jerk, but he does have a point.
4. But then he starts ballistic arguments about nothing. It's unfair to Bao. How is she supposed to handle that?
5. But how does she handle it? Like a pouty baby cartoon, cuddling herself and making dopey eyes at the camera. Spare me, Elmyra!
6. But Johnny is awful. Definitely the worse of the two.
7. But I get what he means about her doing things that he doesn't ask for and then being a martyr about it.
8. Bao may do the laundry and meal-planning because acts of service are her "love language" or whatever, but if Johnny has flat-out told her he DFAG and she keeps doing it, then that's on her. 
9. But he shouldn't be so mean about it.
10. But when he throws his tantrums, why does she try to touch and nuzzle on him? She is the ostensible source of his rage! On Unfiltered, she gave a whole speech about how when Johnny is having his rage strokes, it's all on her to hold them both together. She must be their shelter from the storm. She's just a poor, lonely soldier out there in the rain, carrying them both on her tiny, little, girly, baby back. Mew hew. It Is So Sad.
11. They are both jerks! He is Huge Danger Jerk, she is Sexy Newborn Baby Jerk. Both! Jerks!

Bao will absolutely keep sleeping with him, because she has already announced to the cameras that she does not intend to give up. This is about winning.

Johnny has conditioned himself to keep swiping. He plays women like nickel slots. He'll never be satisfied.

3 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

And i noticed the actual argument didn't start until he had completely cleaned his plate!  The audacity!

For any 90DF crossover people, this strongly reminded me of Tania fighting with Syngin and taking her brai plate to bed with her. Girl was mad, but not too mad for that meat!

[Crashcourse]

Johnny is acting like a jerk but I wouldn't call him a Huge Danger Jerk.  If anything, I think Bao would be the one poisoning one of those "gourmet" meals. 🤣

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Alexander Pope said:

I like Ryan too and I do think he is kind.  However he is being a wimp here and his fear of hurting Brett is making things worse.  As many others have said, and as Zach told him, he needs to man up and tell her the truth.  And he could also tell her that her sloppiness is bugging him while he is at it.  I'm sure he could do so nicely.

I think the sloppiness may be a ploy from production.  If she knows she’ll be on tv, why would she leave clothes all over the place, and an unkept bathroom?  Actually, there was nothing wrong with her.  Maybe they had to make something up.  If he’s so fussy, he shouldn’t have gone on this show.  Maybe Hooters would have been better, as he’s into looks.

[pdlinda]

27 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I think the sloppiness may be a ploy from production.  If she knows she’ll be on tv, why would she leave clothes all over the place, and an unkept bathroom?  Actually, there was nothing wrong with her.  Maybe they had to make something up.  If he’s so fussy, he shouldn’t have gone on this show.  Maybe Hooters would have been better, as he’s into looks.

I recall a few seasons back there was Jazmin and Will.  From the moment Will met her at the altar, he was not attracted to her.  Jazmin went to extensive (maybe undignified) lengths (donning very skimpy lingerie on camera) to entice (possibly seduce) Will.  He never bit.  He was simply not interested in having a romantic relationship with her. They divorced.

Last season we had Clara and Ryan.  There were many sexual overtures by Clara that, according to her, were never reciprocated by Ryan.  From my perspective as a viewer, I never could see any romantic chemistry between them and, despite their staying together at DD, I always saw them as "friends." They divorced.

In these cases, I don't recall any specific "explanations" regarding the men not being attracted to their arranged "wife."  The women apparently got the sense that their romantic overtures were not welcome (or reciprocated) and the subject became moot when they divorced.

As for Brett and Ryan, there is much less overt action on Brett's part to try and entice Ryan into romance.  I think that's a plus and a positive. 

There are many lifestyle issues (that have been discussed on this board from the inception of this season, including her sloppiness) that would indicate Ryan and Brett are not compatible and, as with the others, Ryan thinks of Brett as being in the "friend zone."

When the show wraps up, I'm not seeing any permanent scarring from the experience for either Brett or Ryan.  I think both will move on with their lives relatively unscathed.

Unfortunately, that probably won't be true for some of the others who have sustained serious emotional damage from the experience of being on the show. 

 

 

[Mr. Miner]

Ryan was on that after show and said that he’s not a chill out and watch Netflix on the weekends guy. He’s getting that vibe from her, she knows he’s not attracted but she’s going to make him say it.

 I wonder if Johnny’s family gets together for MAFS watch parties on Wednesday nights? Yikes! 😳

[JocelynCavanaugh]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

Johnny is acting like a jerk but I wouldn't call him a Huge Danger Jerk.  If anything, I think Bao would be the one poisoning one of those "gourmet" meals. 🤣

True... but we have yet to see Bao excuse herself to a private room to make wounded zebu noises. That could just be editing, though.

[Rambunctiouscurls]

8 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I believe it would be a way of expressing respect for them. Bao would have totally impressed his family and Johnny knew that. He said he didn't want his family to fall in love with her if he didn't think she would be around long term. So, he was hoping that the family would side with him, but they saw right through him and called him on it. They would have adored Bao.

Exactly. It shows how thoughtful she is by going above and beyond to learn his family’s mandarin names. I can tell you from personal experience how my family absolutely adores my ex because he took the time to google a few cultural norms and common phrases. Showing interest in another culture shouldn’t be that impressive but it is because so many don’t make the effort. 

[Elizzikra]

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zebu

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