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S13.E03: Their First Rodeo


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This show has to win the prize for worst background music ever.  Every song somehow sounds exactly the same, but each one sucks more than the last.  It’s worse than Myrla lying in bed on her wedding night wearing a lumberjack shirt.

Edited by Suzy Rhapsody
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1 hour ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

This show has to win the prize for worst background music ever.  Every song somehow sounds exactly the same, but each one sucks more than the last.  It’s worse than Myrla lying in bed on her wedding night wearing a lumberjack shirt.

All I hear when the theme song comes on is “it’s all a bad thing”

The music is terrible and too much…

Edited by For Cereals
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(edited)

Rachel’s faux pas will be used against her ad nauseum throughout the season….much to our dismay.

Jose’s whole demeanor changed with the emphasis on demean her.

But they seem better by the time they entered the Rolls serenaded by mariachis.

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, mythoughtis said:

Myrla needed to be matched with a much older sugar daddy. That is not what she says she wanted, but it’s what she really wanted.  Someone to pamper her, spend money on her, and then go to bed at the other end of the house. 

I remember during the "matchmaking" that one thing she and Gil both said (emphatically) was how important sex was to them - I'm getting that from him but definitely not from her.  I thought she'd at least give him a kiss in the room before bed.

The person I like the least tonight was Brett - up until now she's been the "hopeless romantic" but tonight she was the "glass half empty" girl, asking the questions designed to get the most negative answers from his friends.  And wouldn't even try the dancing!  I thought he seemed quite pleased with her, and I think they keep showing his frowny face out of context for dramatic purposes.  When she appeared to walk down the aisle he got a big smile on his face.

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32 minutes ago, princelina said:

I remember during the "matchmaking" that one thing she and Gil both said (emphatically) was how important sex was to them - I'm getting that from him but definitely not from her.  I thought she'd at least give him a kiss in the room before bed.

The person I like the least tonight was Brett - up until now she's been the "hopeless romantic" but tonight she was the "glass half empty" girl, asking the questions designed to get the most negative answers from his friends.  And wouldn't even try the dancing!  I thought he seemed quite pleased with her, and I think they keep showing his frowny face out of context for dramatic purposes.  When she appeared to walk down the aisle he got a big smile on his face.

I don't know how to dance-dance. But I can shimmy like your sister Kate! Brett's coming off as a stick-in-the-mud. 😕

Officially  loving Johnny and Bao! 🥰

 

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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(edited)

Brett, better get used to two stepping to both country and western.

And when you realize they are considered 2 different music genres, you are becoming more Texan.

Hunting is something he does with family and friends and has since he was a kid so Brett will have to reconcile herself with that.

Edited by humbleopinion
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(edited)

Meanwhile back at the ranch….

Red banners are flapping in the wind for Cheap Old Fashion Gil and Posh Myrla who will never change her last name to Cuero 

Myrla, what designer line does your lumberjack flannel lingerie honeymoon come from?

Rachel was wearing a cute lingerie robe set…finally a classy gal.

The Chippendale bow tie….spare us….

 

Edited by humbleopinion
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(edited)
46 minutes ago, buttersister said:

Preview was a shitshow. Yikes, Michaela, I hope those were the producers you were screaming and slamming at. Bring it on! 

Michaela is the new Brandon? She is full on out of her mind in that clip….

Teasing us with deceptively misleading edits that Bao and Johnny will not stay married has bummed me out.
 

Edited by humbleopinion
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When Rachel said that she was happy with her match, because she told the experts that looks doesn’t matter to her, Jose cringed. I have a feeling he is insecure about his height. 

Myrla and Gil remind me of Olivia and Brett. Money is going to be an issue. Based on the fact that they didn’t meet and marry in the traditional way, he should thread lightly on the subject.

The other couples appear to be content with their partners - for now.

 


 


 

 

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Unfiltered: Rachel, Myrla, Ryan and JOtis.

Ryan is chatty…must be what a great interviewer JamieO is…haha no…..

Rachel in person is less dour than on tape. She acknowledged her foot in mouth moment and she and Jose moved past it.

Myrla was self professed emotionless when she wrote her vows…not going to argue with her.

 

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I'm just gonna say it: These grooms' physiques are FIRE! 🔥💯🔥😛😍😇

Wow. Every couple is a mess in the previews! Yelling, crying, accusations, talk of finito mundo, yikes! 

Myrla ain't never gonna kiss Gil after seeing him kiss that dog. As Lucy Van Pelt once exclaimed after Snoopy smooched her: "Ack! Dog lips!"

Appears like her Good Samaritan husband  Zack gave some dame a ride home, and Michaela is having None. Of. It.

Bao's "No Touch" policy looks to be as sensible in her married life as it was in her single one. As in "not."

And yet among previews of Sturm und Drang are scenes of great fun, with skydiving, cowboy-hat-wearing, etc.

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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10 hours ago, MyTwoCents said:

What’s up with Dr Viviana’s look? Is that boho or Indian or girls’ slumber party?

Half Mexican/Indian.

10 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

And next week, we find Johnny still trying to get Bao’s dress off!

Plus, he went way under her dress for the garter.  That was surprising.

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7 hours ago, buttersister said:

Preview was a shitshow. Yikes, Michaela, I hope those were the producers you were screaming and slamming at. Bring it on! 

Her sisters said she had a temper. They weren't lying!

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Anyhow, as I was saying, Myrla is very self centered.  No kiss at anytime?  Is she the next Virgin Mary?  Not with that enticing dress she isn’t.  Kisses on the cheek. Insulting.  Did she even ask Gil about his job?  Did she compliment him on saving lives?  Everything is about her it looks like.  Those pajamas didn’t look her type.

Brett .. I loved her emerald ring, bracelet and emerald shoes.  The flowers also complimented her hair.  I think he is pleased with her.  I love this show, especially after last season.  There was more, but my post went into space.

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Myrla hasn't once said she wants Gil or any man to front her lifestyle. Which is leaving me confused by some responses to her.

The issue here is that Gil doesn't value those things so he won't be as interested in living extravagant. Whether it's with her money or his. 

She just wants to continue spending her money as she seems fit. If they can afford it, more power to her. Its only a problem if she's spending more than she has.

I didn't even notice José height. The concern with men's height is such a odd thing to me. It's something he can't control. I wouldn't mock him for it. Also, most women that want a tall man aren't even tall. I get the whole, when I wear heels thing, but it's such an issue nowadays. I'm 5'8 and you would think I was Danny Devito out here. It's like 6'0 or nothing for a lot of women. Just seems a little extra to me.

 

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14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

His bio says 5 feet 6 inches but we know that means really 5 feet 3.5 inches…..

I was going to rewind to get it exactly right, but I forgot.  At one point he described himself as something like "less than 6 feet" and I about died. 

What puts me off more than anything is that every time he describes his idealized partner, he doesn't say "woman"; it's always "perfect woman."  Ugh.

13 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Jose looks so tiny up at the altar, kind of like he could be the groom figure on their wedding cake

It did not help to have a gigantic officiant. 

Rachel was a teeny bit taller than him, but I assume it was because she was wearing heels.  I wondered how that could have been avoided, so the couple would look "better" in the pictures, but I really don't think a producer advising her that she might want to wear flats would fill her with glee.

30 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I didn't even notice José height. The concern with men's height is such a odd thing to me. It's something he can't control. I wouldn't mock him for it. Also, most women that want a tall man aren't even tall. I get the whole, when I wear heels thing, but it's such an issue nowadays. I'm 5'8 and you would think I was Danny Devito out here. It's like 6'0 or nothing for a lot of women. Just seems a little extra to me.

Is that a 5'8" with a ruler, or do we need to apply the conversion chart?  😀

Just joshing.  I agree with you, except for the "when I wear heels thing" because it shouldn't matter in any circumstance (which is why I put "better" in quotes, above).

I'm a 5'6" female and had a long-term relationship with a guy who was about an inch shorter than I was, so he was empirically short.  It didn't bother me (obviously), but it was something that I noticed, but only because that's what society dictates.  Normally I'd say, "Who cares?" but the answer would be, "A lot of people."

That said, there are lots of men who would never date a woman who's taller than them, so it does run both ways.  And even I notice it when there's a woman towering over her man; it turns out I admire it, but it distresses me that I can't not notice it.

 

11 hours ago, princelina said:

The person I like the least tonight was Brett - up until now she's been the "hopeless romantic" but tonight she was the "glass half empty" girl, asking the questions designed to get the most negative answers from his friends.  And wouldn't even try the dancing! 

I'm going to criticize Ryan on that one.  That was no place to try to teach someone to two-step.  When she said she didn't know how, he should have just done the eighth-grade awkward sway that everybody else does. 

There are men who can lead so well that the partner pretty much has no choice but to follow, but they are very very rare and Ryan obviously isn't one of them.  So just sway.  Although I can't get over the number of men who, knowing they're going to have to dance in front of everybody, don't even find out the traditional position, with their left hand out, so it looks more like a dance than a junior high grope.

 

13 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

If Myrla makes her own money, she can buy her own stuff. 
Basically, the only thing she gets out of her job is the ability to spend a lot of money. Not any personal professional development just bling. 

I'm not so sure I've concluded that she doesn't get any personal professional development out of her job, but even if that's the case, so what?  I'd say she's lucky, because millions of people have jobs where the only thing they get out of it is the ability to spend a little bit of money.

 

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1 hour ago, Mocking Bird said:

Hey, I got half of that.

Don’t we all, haha.  The dress, the dress, the dress.  She even asked Gil about her dress.  I liked Michaelinas dress better.  It looked like a wedding gown.

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9 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I have a feeling he is insecure about his height. 

Didn't he even mention that and his nose? I don't think he is attractive, but I do think he was very hurt when she said that looks don't matter. In her TH she did mention that she thought he was cute, I think, but the words didn't sound very sincere. 

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I don’t fault either Myrla or Gil whatsoever for their seemingly polar opposite lifestyles/priorities. This is ALL on the experts. Before the wedding, the show aired clips of each of them articulating exactly who they were and what they were looking for in a partner and the experts chose to ignore it.

Gil said he was a simple, frugal guy who didn’t want an Instagram model. Myrla showed off her impressive closet and her wall of self portraits and wanted someone who could match her lifestyle, financially. Neither lifestyle is better than the other in any way, but they are completely incompatible lifestyles. What on earth were the experts thinking??? That they would look good together? Give me a break…if that was all it took to make a successful marriage the divorce rate in Hollywood would be 0% instead of 99.99%.

They are both good people with individual qualities that could absolutely be appreciated by their respective partners, but this show completely whiffed when they paired them together. 

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Jose has the mindset that if he brings up his flaws and insecurities then it will diffuse the sting...Wrong.

Be a sexy beast like Johnny......

Wear the bold dark scarlet tux to make an indelible first impression

Make her laugh

Pull her in seductively for your first dance together.

Enthusiastically dive into your bride's wedding dress, hands behind your back to grab the garter with your teeth and drag it off her leg...that impressed plenty of the ladies in the room, wink wink nudge nudge

 

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I think I was the most surprised by Brett and Ryan. Until the wedding, I hadn't seen Ryan smile or have much of a personality, but he seemed to be very happy at the wedding. I had high hopes for them at first, but now I am not sure about Brett. I understand about being asked to go outside of your comfort zone at your wedding is hard, but she just wasn't having any of it. I hope things get better, but the hunting thing may be a deal breaker. But, Brett - buy yourself a pair of cowboy boots. They are fun!

I am still hopeful for Bao and Johnny. If she could just relax and have fun, she could have a very happy life. But, since being physical is not part of how she has lived, it may take her a while. Some people just weren't raised that way. I hope she is able to make that shift. I like them. 

I am guessing that just as Myrla asked for the sexiest wedding dress in the store, she went into Ross or Marshalls and asked for the least attractive garment in the store for her wedding night. Not a chance for them. His friends hate her for him. I think her friends might like him - but not for her. They will get the no kissing a la Karen/Miles edit. Or maybe they won't need it, once he kisses his dog. (I wonder if he shares licks of a popsicle with his - not that anyone I know has done that!)

Zack and Michaela seemed to be happy and will have fun on their wedding night. Not sure how long that will last once her temper shows itself.

I don't think Rachel was ready to get married. She is just now feeling self-confident, but she is terrified of being in a relationship where she feels she might lose herself (again). I think she needed to date for a while and learn how to stay true to herself in a relationship and work through that and not rush into a wedding with a stranger. Especially with this guy, who has lists and a very structured view of what HIS life will be like. I am glad to have read that they acknowledged her awkward comment and moved past that. It was brutal.

As others have said, I already like this season more than the last one. At least some of these people seem decent. I still don't hold out much hope for most of them, though. Too many significant differences that you just don't work through in 8 weeks.

 

 

 

Edited by Retired at last
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2 hours ago, Racj82 said:

 

I didn't even notice José height. The concern with men's height is such a odd thing to me. It's something he can't control. I wouldn't mock him for it. Also, most women that want a tall man aren't even tall. I get the whole, when I wear heels thing, but it's such an issue nowadays. I'm 5'8 and you would think I was Danny Devito out here. It's like 6'0 or nothing for a lot of women. Just seems a little extra to me.

 

It really is stupid.  I have 3 young adult single daughters ranging from 5'8" to 5'10".  My tallest is more than happy to date men her height or an inch shorter, but all over social media you see girls that are 5' tall saying that their man needs to be 6' or taller.  Why??  Leave the taller ones for the statuesque women.  Why is 6' some magic number when the average American male is 5'9"?   

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50 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

I think I was the most surprised by Brett and Ryan. Until the wedding, I hadn't seen Ryan smile or have much of a personality, but he seemed to be very happy at the wedding. I had high hopes for them at first, but now I am not sure about Brett.

Ryan turned out to be a hoot.

On Unfiltered he was relaxed, outgoing and dressed like an typical oil man/frat boy at leisure...shorts, button down, Cole Haan/Allen Edmond's driving shoes.

He is more a golf links guy than country boy.

Brett is a stick in the mud with one up her butt.

Refusing to Two Step? Follow your husband's lead...learn on YouTube how to Cotton Eye Joe, chicken dance, country slide so you can blend in at the next party

Not know how "to ranch?"

You go to meet the grandparents at their "place", say Yes Ma'am, Yes Sir when spoken to by an elder, learn how to shoot an assortment of guns, ride around in the ATVs, fish in the stocked pond  and watch where you step...fire ants, sticker burrs and snakes....

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, Spectator said:

They are both good people with individual qualities that could absolutely be appreciated by their respective partners, but this show completely whiffed when they paired them together. 

I would say that this was completely intentional on the "experts"/producers part. They are looking for drama and not successful marriages.

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The season preview didn’t build anticipation; it gave away far too much. Once you know the MAFS tricks you can pretty much infer the endings. Cool strategy, Lifetime. 

Two-stepping is hard to learn because the rhythm is a little unusual, at least to me, plus the whole “backwards in heels” thing. “Well you’re gonna learn” can be kind of hot coming from a handsome new acquaintance on a Friday night at Midnight Rodeo (in fact it was a Ryan who said it to me, too… 🤠), but maybe not on TV, in front of your family and friends, at your wedding to a stranger. Brett could’ve handled it better but I get why that stressed her out. 

Despite my misgivings about Bao, I don’t think she should have to be the only one to change when it comes to physical affection. I never understood why the touch level has to be to the liking of the person who wants more — especially if that’s the man (in a hetero pair). Why is more more more touchy feely needy clingy gropey automatically the superior mode? Some people find that overstimulating, emotionally demanding, maybe even a little base or uncouth. Perhaps we should honor that instead of sideeying or calling the woman (always the woman, right, Pepper?) “cold.”

Same with Myrla and money. I think she’s kind of a cruel and haughty person, BUT if she’s earning that money and not hurting or defrauding anyone, then she has the right to buy all the tacky, ostentatious labels she desires. Gil is equally entitled to his frugal lifestyle. As others have said, this is just a bad match, physically, financially, and temperamentally. 

Zach and Michaela may be hoping for a Woody and Amani story, but I’m afraid it’s taking a sharp left into Brandon and Taylor Town, current population: 0. Soon to be 2, then 0. 

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This year all the men seem more into their wives than the other way around. Except Michaela.

The women like their partner, but the men like them more.

I'm rooting for Brett & Ryan. I think he really wants this and I hope she doesn't break his heart.

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I want to know about the budgets for the weddings because Bao and Johnny had the most amazing wedding compared to anything else I have seen on the show.  Western wedding ceremony, tea ceremony (with appropriate changes of clothes) and dragon dancers!  Oh, and not to mention very specific bedding in the hotel suite.  Were the producers so desperate to have an Asian-American couple that they gave them an unlimited budget?  Nevertheless, it was amazing and wonderful to watch.  Hope the other couples aren't too jealous when they watch the show.

I liked Brett so much until this episode.  The moment that changed my perspective was during the wedding ceremony's 'Brett's family wants you to know' portion when she made gestures to Ryan for him to listen (she pointed to him and then to her ear to 'listen').  I made the mistake of thinking she was an elementary school teacher because of that gesture (rather than the high school teacher she is).  Then, to top it off, during the reception she not only talked with her mouth full, but she chewed with an open mouth (obviously that sets me off a bit).  I also don't think she really is that fun and is quite a bit more negative that she is letting on (glass half-empty, identifying as a 'realist' instead of negative, etc.).  Oh well.

Even though Rachael and Jose seemed to get over her initial comment about looks not mattering, I think that will come back.

I understand the perspective that Myrla can dress how she wants, but I also think there should be some consistency between actions and words.  I do think the "sexy" gown indicates a sexy attitude and maybe behavior.  Which is totally negated by no kissing and flannel pajamas.  Yes, yes, I get it-sexy doesn't mean sex but all of these messages are their first communications.  The bright side of Myrla and Gil's marriage is that there should be plenty of women interested in marrying him after their divorce (unless, of course, he reveals a side of himself that is unexpected [by me] at this point).

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19 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Two-stepping is hard to learn because the rhythm is a little unusual, at least to me, plus the whole “backwards in heels” thing. “Well you’re gonna learn” can be kind of hot coming from a handsome new acquaintance on a Friday night at Midnight Rodeo (in fact it was a Ryan who said it to me, too… 🤠), but maybe not on TV, in front of your family and friends, at your wedding to a stranger. Brett could’ve handled it better but I get why that stressed her out. 

 

I will concede that the two step is difficult if someone like Brett who does not know other basics like the foxtrot and waltz or how to follow when being led around by her partner...

Betcha Ryan was a cotillion escort and frat boy both requiring knowing how to  social dance.

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3 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

Then, to top it off, during the reception she not only talked with her mouth full, but she chewed with an open mouth (obviously that sets me off a bit). 

Speaking of, why the hell was Michaela chewing gum at her reception? 

 

32 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Two-stepping is hard to learn because the rhythm is a little unusual, at least to me, plus the whole “backwards in heels” thing. “Well you’re gonna learn” can be kind of hot coming from a handsome new acquaintance on a Friday night at Midnight Rodeo (in fact it was a Ryan who said it to me, too… 🤠), but maybe not on TV, in front of your family and friends, at your wedding to a stranger. Brett could’ve handled it better but I get why that stressed her out.

So true.  Not to mention that you shouldn't look at your feet when dancing, but it's helpful when you're learning, and the wedding dress made that pretty much impossible.  It all adds up to the worst time to try to teach someone.

I learned to two-step at Lakeview, near Texas A&M.  In an original pair of earth shoes, where the heel was lower than the rest of the foot.  I can't decide whether a positive or negative tilt to one's feet is worse when it comes to dancing backwards, but maybe enough beer and youth makes it not matter.

I also took an informal class at UT to learn, among other things, the Hustle!  The teacher was one of those people who was able to make partners do exactly the right thing just by leading.  It was amazing.

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(edited)
42 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Big Phi Delt energy 

With his Phi Delt frat brothers ogling Brett's titties while questioning her....not that they wanted to out of respect for Ryan but her gals were right in their faces....

Come to think of it, Haley (if she attended a Texas college) would be perfect for Ryan.

Haley is a sorority sister, still goes to alum college football games, travels for business like Ryan who is always out in the field visiting his clients, they would get along because both are social and like to do things with their friends group.

Or Ryan was expecting someone "sweet" like Danielle....

Edited by humbleopinion
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The moments I knew Ryan-Brett was a no-go: when he said she’d have to learn the dance instead of saying he hoped she would and having successfully twirled once, she refused to try a second time.

Brett seemed surprised that Ryan preferred the natural look on her, but unless his ranch is South Fork, not surprising.

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1 hour ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Same with Myrla and money. I think she’s kind of a cruel and haughty person, BUT if she’s earning that money and not hurting or defrauding anyone, then she has the right to buy all the tacky, ostentatious labels she desires. Gil is equally entitled to his frugal lifestyle. As others have said, this is just a bad match, physically, financially, and temperamentally. 

I see Olivia/Brett levels of disagreement over this. I am sure that is what the producers were hoping for when they put them together.

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Myrla wanted to show off her titties at the wedding, now she wants Gil to grovel and beg for sex.  I want him to just roll over in bed and wait for her to make the first move.   If she doesn't show any affection, just stay cool until Decision Day and divorce her ass. 

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