Tastes Like Feet!: Your Kitchen Disasters

[DeLurker]

That does look good - even though I don't care for peppers or cilantro. My Dad would love it though.

Might try making some and subbing avocado for myself.

[backformore]

OK, I had a kitchen disaster.   We ate dinner early, watched TV.  Hubby went to bed.  I can't go to sleep early, so I stayed up, had a drink, watched some TV.  I had a craving for CHOCOLATE.  specifically, cake or cookies.  since we're trying to eat healthy, there wasn't much junk food/sweets in the house.   We're out of almost everything, going to the grocery store first thing tomorrow.  I remembered seeing a "5 ingredient dessert"  article.  SO I looked it up, and there was a recipe for a one-serving chocolate cake you microwave in a bowl or cup.  Cocoa powder, and egg, baking powder, sugar. Easy as pie, right?   I mixed it all together.  TO be fair, my measurements were a little sloppy, but close enough.  put it in a bowl and microwaved for a minute.  20 seconds in, it looked like lava bubbling up over the bowl.  Like a volcano science experiment, where it just keeps growing and flowing.  I had to stop it, put a plate under it, and keep cooking.  It got bigger and bigger.  When done, I took it out, and it deflated, kind of like foam just melting into nothing.  What was left was - a bit like a chocolate scrambled egg.  Yuck.  Not worth the mess it made, that's for sure. 

[krimimimi]

Sounds like it was missing something flour-like, wasn't it?(No idea what goes into something like that, but that seems probable.) Otherwise it's a soufflé, which I would expect to fail miserably in the microwave, especially when you consider how many people have trouble with them even in ovens...

[NewDigs]

Those cake-in-a-mug things were popular as gifts but you made a large batch of dry ingredients, divided that mixture among mugs and the giftee just added water and nuked. Flour was involved.

The FoodNetwork website has this single serve recipe.

[mansonlamps]

No offense intended, but I can't imagine wanting cake badly enough to whip up a single serving in a mug.  But I'm not that big on sweets, so I guess I just wouldn't get it.  

My personal craving for salty snacks would be harder to deal with if I didn't have a 7 11 down the street.  And if it really closed at 11.

[FanOfDorks]

cake in a mug is actually nicer than it sounds :)

[Giselle]

Cauliflower mashed potatoes gratin style. So God awful we scraped them from our plate, back into the casserole dish then into the trash it went.

They looked beautiful but the taste and texture were awful.

[falltime]

I frequently forget that I have food on the stove so I end up burning lots of food. On Monday, I hated up beans for 5 hours cuz I forgot I had them on. All the water was gone, the bottom beans were burnt. Today, I made some cookies for the first time. I left them in too long so they were burnt. My dogs enjoyed them.

[WendyCR72]

6 hours ago, falltime said:

I frequently forget that I have food on the stove so I end up burning lots of food. On Monday, I hated up beans for 5 hours cuz I forgot I had them on. All the water was gone, the bottom beans were burnt. Today, I made some cookies for the first time. I left them in too long so they were burnt. My dogs enjoyed them.

Maybe you should invest in a timer?  🙂

[chessiegal]

6 hours ago, falltime said:

I frequently forget that I have food on the stove so I end up burning lots of food. On Monday, I hated up beans for 5 hours cuz I forgot I had them on. All the water was gone, the bottom beans were burnt. Today, I made some cookies for the first time. I left them in too long so they were burnt. My dogs enjoyed them.

You're lucky you didn't start a fire, and I am not saying that in jest. I am a retired forensic chemist working at ATF on fire investigations. Many an accidental fire has been started from burning food on a stove. Yes, you need a timer.

[Anela]

I forgot that I had eggs boiling, a week ago. I remembered just in time to run to the kitchen, and see an egg shoot out of the pan, hit the ceiling, and scatter. 

This is why I like my instant pot: it has a timer, and stops cooking. 

[chessiegal]

I have a timer on my microwave plus a stand alone timer. If you have a smart phone, you have a timer

[Anela]

2 hours ago, chessiegal said:

I have a timer on my microwave plus a stand alone timer. If you have a smart phone, you have a timer

I have one on my phone, too. I meant: the IP stops cooking itself. I'll do the eggs in that next time. I was hard-boiling them for a salad, and had headphones on, because it was past midnight. 

[Bastet]

I never use a timer, but, as I'm sure I shared in this thread, I twice left sugar water (either for simple syrup or hummingbird food) on the stove and forgot about it, leaving me with a blackened mess and burnt pot.  The smell!  I've never left anything else on the stove, and only left that the two times, so I'm not sure what that specific level of forgetfulness was about, but thankfully <knocking on wood> it has not happened again.

[Lovecat]

Crisis narrowly averted last night.  Our CSA this year has included a meal kit every week, featuring produce from the week's share.  This week's recipe was butternut squash risotto--YUM!  Well I got a little excited and instead of using the 2C steamed mashed squash specified in the recipe, I put in the whole damn thing--probably 5-6C worth.  Oops!  The mental and physical gymnastics involved in chopping up another onion, sautéing in butter, toasting more rice, etc. were daunting (plus I didn't have any more stock, which I would have needed if I added more rice), so I punched up the aromatics with some garlic, added more wine, and proceeded with the stock and stirring-stirring-stirring.  It was touch and go there for a bit, but it actually turned out pretty well!

[PRgal]

On 5/1/2020 at 10:28 PM, Anela said:

I forgot that I had eggs boiling, a week ago. I remembered just in time to run to the kitchen, and see an egg shoot out of the pan, hit the ceiling, and scatter. 

This is why I like my instant pot: it has a timer, and stops cooking. 

To avoid this, use your phone to time.  Also, try the boil, shut off the heat, cover and shut (i.e. put eggs in the pan, turn on the heat until it boils, cover the pan and then shut off the heat) method.  10 minutes will give you a nice hard boiled egg.    

[blueray]

Reading about leaving eggs reminds me of when my dad did that.

He was making hard boil eggs and forgot all about them. About ten or so minutes later (not sure how long) he went to use the bathroom and their dog started scratching at the door and barking.  My dad went to tell to  him to "go away" only to hear the eggs from the hallway.  They were spraying everywhere and he was trying to get my dad's attention of it. 

Edited December 25, 2020 by blueray

[Blergh]

All these egg disasters give good testimony about WHY having 'open concept' kitchens isn't the smartest move for entertaining guests.  At least if you can close the door, guests don't have to hear/smell the culinary catastrophes within!

[Colleenna]

My biggest kitchen disaster was  30+ years ago.  I'm a fan of very spicy foods. I was making an authentic  Vietnamese  recipe for hot and spicy chicken (following a recipe,  since I'm not  Vietnamese) and misread the tsp quantity of hot chili powder as TBSP.

The fumes in my kitchen were so  potent I couldn't breathe. No way I was going to try to eat it. Into the garbage it went, and out we went for Mexican.  😄😄

[Boston]

I am a cooker.. I DON'T BAKE - I know my limitations.. but it took me a long time to figure it out (like my brothers at Thanksgiving begging me NEVER to make another dessert..  I have been known to throw out (in the pan) box brownies.. again, now i know my limitations.  But my food is very good.. tuscan chicken being one of my best.  Thank you?? Covid

[WinnieWinkle]

I was making spaghetti sauce today, the way I've made it literally hundreds of times before,  and I have no idea where I messed up but it tastes,  as my grandaughter would say "ah-sgusting!" I tried to salvage it but only made matters worse.  On the plus side I'm ordering out.  On the negative side I can't figure out where I went wrong so no guarantees this won't happen again!

Edited March 19, 2021 by WinnieWinkle

[Lovecat]

This past weekend I made a big dinner for my husband's birthday.  The salad I selected called for blood orange supremes.  I had never supremed an orange, but I'd seen it done.  Steady hand, slice-slice on either side of the segment, inside the membrane, pop that little sucker out.  How hard could it be, really?  MUCH harder than it looks on teevee, as it turns out!  When I was done, I had some mangled blood orange segments, a pile of leftover scraps and seeds, and blood orange juice everywhere.  It looked like I had used my cutting board to massacre a very small bird.  I shan't be doing THAT again!

[Leeds]

.

Edited December 25, 2021 by Leeds

[Gramto6]

Christmas Eve I was having stomach issues. I wanted to make something plain that I thought would go down OK. I had a Kraft Mac & Cheese Deluxe Instant cup. I didn't use the cheese but boiled the noodles, added butter, some Italian seasoning, and a bit of grated mixed cheese, a squeeze of tubed tomato paste and thought it would be OK. Wrong...it was nasty I ate less than half and threw the rest away...bad idea... (The cheese that comes in that cup is so fake it isn't even edible.)

Covid ordering food online doesn't always work out...

Edited December 26, 2021 by Gramto6
added on to post

[Bookish Jen]

When my niece was little, she didn't like something my sister made so she said, "This tastes like poop but with a different flavor." That's my go to phrase whenever I make something that ends up tasting horrible like a nasty garlic sauced chicken I made a few years ago. Blech.

[GreekGeek]

On 12/29/2021 at 6:21 PM, Bookish Jen said:

When my niece was little, she didn't like something my sister made so she said, "This tastes like poop but with a different flavor." That's my go to phrase whenever I make something that ends up tasting horrible like a nasty garlic sauced chicken I made a few years ago. Blech.

I ‘m curious—how bad could chicken with garlic sauce be? Of course any recipe can be badly executed, but was this just a bad recipe?

[Bookish Jen]

On 12/31/2021 at 1:09 PM, GreekGeek said:

I ‘m curious—how bad could chicken with garlic sauce be? Of course any recipe can be badly executed, but was this just a bad recipe?

The chicken turned out to be really rubbery. I think it was probably badly executed on my part.

[Lovecat]

I thought if anyone would appreciate this, it would be you lot...a vignette from my kitchen:

Husband is making gravy and is spooning out some flour in an attempt to thicken it...

Me: Why don't you use some corn starch?

Him: We don't have any corn starch.

Me: Yes we do, I just bought a new one--it's in the container on the shelf up there ::points::

Him: That was corn starch? I thought it was flour, and put it in the soda bread!

Me: ::facepalm::

So we're both a little wrong here...I should've labeled that container (which, by the way, is nowhere near where we keep the flour), and he should have asked what it was before just shrugging and dumping it in the soda bread.

The bread itself, you ask? Uhhhh. Not terrible per se, but definitely not his best specimen.

[PRgal]

19 hours ago, Lovecat said:

I thought if anyone would appreciate this, it would be you lot...a vignette from my kitchen:

Husband is making gravy and is spooning out some flour in an attempt to thicken it...

Me: Why don't you use some corn starch?

Him: We don't have any corn starch.

Me: Yes we do, I just bought a new one--it's in the container on the shelf up there ::points::

Him: That was corn starch? I thought it was flour, and put it in the soda bread!

Me: ::facepalm::

So we're both a little wrong here...I should've labeled that container (which, by the way, is nowhere near where we keep the flour), and he should have asked what it was before just shrugging and dumping it in the soda bread.

The bread itself, you ask? Uhhhh. Not terrible per se, but definitely not his best specimen.

Flour does work as a thickener though.  I use it for my holiday gravy.  

[SuprSuprElevated]

19 hours ago, Lovecat said:

a vignette from my kitchen:

Not as egregious as my accidental usage of corn starch instead of powdered sugar on cookies a few years ago. 🤦‍♀️

Yeah, labels are awesome.

 

[chessiegal]

Many, many moons ago when I was a young cook, I decided to make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for my dad and stepmom. I was making the turkey gravy (my mom had used milk in her gravy), reached in the fridge and for some reason pulled out orange juice and started adding it. I quickly realized my mistake and rather than toss it, added milk. It actually turned out to be quite tasty.

[PRgal]

7 hours ago, chessiegal said:

Many, many moons ago when I was a young cook, I decided to make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for my dad and stepmom. I was making the turkey gravy (my mom had used milk in her gravy), reached in the fridge and for some reason pulled out orange juice and started adding it. I quickly realized my mistake and rather than toss it, added milk. It actually turned out to be quite tasty.

Recipe please!!

[chessiegal]

1 minute ago, PRgal said:

Recipe please!!

No recipe - it was a mistake. I'd like to blame alcohol, but I grew up in a dry household. I can't imagine why I pulled orange juice out of the fridge instead of milk. May have been the stress of pulling off my first Thanksgiving dinner. If you'd like to duplicate, try putting in a splash of orange juice in your gravy.

[PRgal]

11 hours ago, chessiegal said:

No recipe - it was a mistake. I'd like to blame alcohol, but I grew up in a dry household. I can't imagine why I pulled orange juice out of the fridge instead of milk. May have been the stress of pulling off my first Thanksgiving dinner. If you'd like to duplicate, try putting in a splash of orange juice in your gravy.

I’ve never heard of using milk in gravy.  I guess it’s like mac and cheese sauce without cheese?  

[chessiegal]

40 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’ve never heard of using milk in gravy.  I guess it’s like mac and cheese sauce without cheese?  

No, it's just pan drippings with some milk and a little flour to thicken. Turkey gravy. My mom was from central PA, and not a particularly good cook, but she could bake up a storm. Meals were very meat and potatoes centric. 

[JTMacc99]

22 hours ago, chessiegal said:

I was making the turkey gravy (my mom had used milk in her gravy), reached in the fridge and for some reason pulled out orange juice and started adding it.

The VAST majority of my "just started pouring" moves happen while I'm making my coffee in the morning. 

And I can clearly blame this on "I haven't had coffee yet".

The coffee procedure here is:

• Water in the kettle, start the kettle.
• Beans into the grinder, grind beans.
• Pour ground coffee into the French press.
• Pour hot water over the coffee in the French press.
• Wait some amount of minutes, press down, pour coffee in mug.
• Add cream

In the last six months I've:

• Started the kettle without actually adding in enough water to make coffee
• Poured the scoop of beans on top of the grinder, meaning I didn't take the lid off of the grinder. Just dumped a scoop of beans on the top and watched them fly all over the counter.
• Poured the hot water into the French press and think to myself, "I probably should have put the ground coffee in there before I added the water.
• Scooped the beans directly into the French Press. That one comes with a "that didn't sound right" realization.

[Trini]

Some hilarity and lessons in the comments here at Go Fug Yourself: 'Your Afternoon Chat: Your Funniest Cooking Debacle'