S05.E08: Every Brown Revealed

[LuckyBitch]

From TheTVDB:

The family compile photos and videos that demonstrate the strength of their relationships.

 

From TLC:

Kody, his wives, and all of the children work to compile photos and videos that bring new life and new understanding to the family. Insightful details and shocking secrets emerge to give an even deeper look into what makes this family so extraordinary.

[jellywager]

Strength? This family looks like it could topple over any second now. Really? Going through old photos and videos? This has to be the very last idea they have for a story line. One of these women need to start cheating on Kody to spice-up this show a little bit. LOL.

Edited July 20, 2014 by jellywager

[Kohola3]

...Insightful details and shocking secrets...

 

First of all, insightful indicates that there are functioning brain cells amongst the King and his harem and we already know that's not reality.  Second, shocking secrets?  Seriously?  Unless one of them is hauling ass away from the train wreck or admit this whole thing is a total scam, I doubt anything they say will be shocking

[Absolom]

What shocking secrets?  That they really have a budget? That someone has a real job and goes to work most days?

 

Perhaps Robyn is pregnant?  Which would not be shocking or surprising in the least.

[leighroda]

I don't understand when reality shows do this because they always proclaim we are seeing everything to begin with, I get that inevitably there are things that aren't shown, and I actually enjoy getting to see some of this things, but for people who claim to always be putting it all out there, they sure do have a lot of "explain it all episodes"

[mbutterfly]

Strength? This family looks like it could topple over any second now. Really? Going through old photos and videos? This has to be the very last idea they have for a story line. One of these women need to start cheating on Kody to spice-up this show a little bit. LOL.

I usually watch each show sometime in order to enjoy the snark here, but I don't think I can sit through this one. 

[Kohola3]

I usually watch each show sometime in order to enjoy the snark here, but I don't think I can sit through this one.

 

Ditto. I'll find out all I need to know from the responses.  Saves me having to look at Surfer Dude.

[Oldernowiser]

Oh, please. "Shocking" will turn out to be something utterly pathetic like, "Robyn had cold feet the night before the marriage!" or "Janelle wasn't sure she wanted a fourth sister wife!" or something else that will completely smoothed over by some sentimental bullshit about how all is peachy now.

"Insightful," "extraordinary," are bad enough...but when the word "deep" in any form is in a sentence that has the Brown "family" as the subject...something has broken in the world.

[MarkySnark]

Oh, please. "Shocking" will turn out to be something utterly pathetic like, "Robyn had cold feet the night before the marriage!" or "Janelle wasn't sure she wanted a fourth sister wife!" or something else that will completely smoothed over by some sentimental bullshit about how all is peachy now.

"Insightful," "extraordinary," are bad enough...but when the word "deep" in any form is in a sentence that has the Brown "family" as the subject...something has broken in the world.

The only sentence I can come up with to refute this is... The Brown family is in deep denial of their own bullshit.

[leighroda]

I hope Robyn's announcement is that after a lot of thought and consideration she is getting a wet bar so that she can be truly seen as part of the family.

[Armchair Critic]

Kody's "goo goo eyes"?!? BARF!

[suomi]

I noticed tonight that Mykelti has a strong resemblance to Jennifer Lawrence. Cute gal. (Both of them.)

 

Logan is a treasure. He dang well better end up with a wonderful woman, or I will be pissed. I'd love to see him with my granddaughter, but she's not church-y. (She's mormon, but not church-y)

[MarkySnark]

So glad that this has turned out to be more about the kids than another "Gee, isn't Kody great?" show.

[Ladyhawke777]

Robyn can't wait to put her (brainless) .02 cents in about the teenagers. Shut up, bubblehead!

[VioletNevermind]

Robyn can't wait to put her (brainless) .02 cents in about the teenagers. Shut up, bubblehead!

 

Ugh, I know.  She came onto the scene a few short years ago, long after this family was well-established.  I can't stand how she has to chime in any time they have these retrospective shows.  "Oh yeah, that's just like Mykelti!"  Give me a royal break.  She's not all that much older than the oldest kids!

Edited July 21, 2014 by SuzyLee

[Kohola3]

Will you, for the love of God, stop bringing up the fake "persecution" story?  The entire world knows what a load of hogwash that whole pile of lies is.  Let it the hell go.

 

And get rid of that ridiculous pony tail.  You look like a total idiot.

[Armchair Critic]

Meri wants to work on her relationship with Christine...but NOT Janelle?

[suomi]

Did Robyn have kids in her lap the whole time tonight? We saw the back of her when she ran for the "important phone call." She's pregnant.

 

ETA: I didn't intend to mislead anyone."She's pregnant" is my take, because of her body being hidden behind various kids during the ep followed by the "drama" of her running to answer the phone ringing in the house, after Kody said "Robyn has an announcement.". Wait, they have a land line? Bwahaha ...  

Edited July 21, 2014 by suomi

[RealityCowgirl]

Did Robyn have kids in her lap the whole time tonight? We saw the back of her when she ran for the "important phone call." She's pregnant.

And in anticipation of the inevitable (eventually, if not today), let me be the first to say:

Who gives a flip? Really. If our last names aren't "Brown," do you really expect us to care?

Edited July 21, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[JHSunsetBeach]

If she is pregnant then I think its kinda messed up because Meri wanted to get pregnant and he didn't want  her to again..

Edited July 21, 2014 by JHSunsetBeach

[twodals]

My dvr cut out the last part! What did Robin announce?

[TVFAN]

Robyn announced nothing.  She had to go answer the phone.  (I kid you not!)

 

[Alexis]

What was up with the end of that show? Robin's important message was that the phone was ringing. Aargh! I feel like we are being taken for a ride.

[twodals]

Oh brother...

[spidermiss2426]

The beginning of this show almost made me puke with the whole "oooh his eyes", "ooohhh he was so cute a lightning bolt ran from my genitals to my brain!"

 

That being said, I really liked seeing more about the kids, especially the ones they don't usually focus on.  There were a couple that I never knew existed because it was the first time they've really shown them.  But I really that part of the show.

 

As for Robyn's announcement, boo to not show it.  Way to drag it out.

Edited July 21, 2014 by spidermiss2426

[Kohola3]

Who gives a flip? Really.

 

Exactly what I was just going to post. The whole staged cliffhanger "Sobbin has an announcement - oops the phone is ringing" TLC set up assumes we give a flying fig.  

 

Couldn't care less.  Although I do enjoy seeing the level headed kids.  I hope they all run fast and run far.

Edited July 21, 2014 by Kohola3

[ginger90]

Was this (haven't watched yet) the finale?

[Kohola3]

Sadly, no.  One more week of torture.

[Kiddvideo]

In the previews for next week I only saw her once, and it was a tight shot of a puffy face. Will this be another home birth or another lawsuit from the hospital for non-payment?

[purpleflowers]

Meri wants to work on her relationship with Christine...but NOT Janelle?

And, wow did Janelle look uncomfortable when they suggested that they work on their relationship! Meri gets criticized a lot, but I give her props for at least trying to be lighthearted in moments like that.

 

Gosh, they really rehashed some of the same stuff for at least the third or fourth time now. 

 

I was only interested to hear about Garrison and Paedon.  Also, Breanna seems sweet. She said "Breanna Brown" I noticed. Does that mean Kody adopted her?

[Galloway Cave]

I noticed that when Kody has his hair up in the pony tail, there is a strip of hair that is cut short that runs from ear to ear around the back of his head. What the hell is that all about? You would think the moron would want as much long hair as possible.

 

I heard the Breanna Brown thing too but unless her biological dad gave up his parental rights, Kody can't adopt her. I guess if her brother can go by another name (ignoring his father) so can she.

 

I guess these people forgot they wrote a book that contradicted a few things they talked about tonight. They also like to ignore some basic details, like how Meri and Janelle knew each other in the first place (sister-in-laws).

 

At this point I so don't care if Robyn is pregnant. If they are going to make an entire season out of another pregnancy, I'm out.

[Christi]

Sp Robin's kid...he cant open his one eye now? In some pics he had both open....never noticed before.  Sorry, cant bother to remember the names.  I was surprised that there were a bunch of em i never knew existed.  The one that gets headaches and has to have things 'just right' has some kind of a syndrome...Aspergers perhaps?  

Edited July 21, 2014 by Christi

[MarkySnark]

. She said "Breanna Brown" I noticed. Does that mean Kody adopted her?

No. Adoption costs money. I am sure we would have been subjected to the "Can we afford adoption?" story line for a season or so if KoDouche were going to legally adopt. Don't forget, he doesn't like the legal route when it comes to most of his wimmin' folk.

[Ladyhawke777]

Meri is such a fucking downer. Do everyone a favor, just go home and kiss your wet bar.

 

Re: Kody's "goo-goo" eyes. Pimps do stuff like that to keep "their women" under a spell that they are special.

Sp Robin's kid...he cant open his one eye now? In some pics he had both open....never noticed before.  Sorry, cant bother to remember the names.  i was surprised that there was a bunch of em i never knew existed.  The one that gets headaches and has to have things 'just right' has some kind of a syndrome...Aspergers perhaps?  

I think it was an ATV accident (hate those things).

[Christi]

Gotta say tho...the kids sure seem pretty happy...

Edited July 21, 2014 by Christi

[LotusFlower]

Of course Robyn's pregnant. They've been foreshadowing it all season. So much so that that feels like too subtle a word. It's ridiculous that they teased it for a 2nd time. Do they think the audience is excited about another baby for this family? Or even cares?

If only she was to announce the closing of My Sister Wife's Closet. Now that I'd tune in for.

[VioletNevermind]

Whew.  Okay.  Here are my thoughts:

 

1. Why do Robyn's children refer to themselves as Browns and call Kody "Daddy?"  Did he adopt the kids or have they all encouraged another man's children to see Kody as their father?  Did their dad (a Jessop) relinquish custody to Robyn?  If not, what they're doing is dead wrong.

 

2. The part where all of the women gushed about how when Kody's eyes are on you, you feel so sparkly (actual quote) and special.  My gag reflex kicked in.  I still totally fail to understand how this nimrod got one woman to marry him, let alone four.  The key to his "appeal" is the ability to hone in on shy, sheltered women with low self-esteem who would be grateful for any male attention.

 

3. Kody's ponytail.  Just no.  I never thought I'd hear myself say that I prefer his standard shaggy, unkempt, filthy look.  He needs to take a long, hard look at his receding hairline and ask his barber for an adult hairstyle pronto.  If Kody has his people call my people, I will even offer to pay for the hair cut.

 

4. Logan.  He's just wonderful.  I hope he's able to find himself a great woman and have a nice life.  He's been more of a father and role model to his siblings than his useless jackass of a father has ever been.

 

5. Mykelti.  Oh, honey.  Just because saying the word "fuck" under your breath makes you a rebel in your culture doesn't make you a badass rebel to the rest of the world.

 

6. Kody acting like he did Robyn this big favor by dragging her into this mess.  He really does like to feel like the grand, omnipotent savior where she's concerned. 

 

7. The potential 18th(!) child.  I'm not loving that final scene where they jerked us around yet again re: Robyn's pregnancy.  Were there not enough clues peppered throughout the episode to make it obvious that she is?  That would make 18 kids.  The irresponsibility of the choices made by the adults in this family is staggering.  Do they think they're going to be able to ride this money train forever?  Jon Gosselin once lived in a huge McMansion with no job to distract him.  Last I heard, he was a waiter in a mom-and-pop restaurant in a small, rural town in PA.  Take note, Browns.

 

I could go on and on, but I'm nauseous.  I've ended every post I've made here the same way because it always hits me after every episode: WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING?!

Edited July 21, 2014 by SuzyLee

[Armchair Critic]

I can't imagine them getting much more than one more season as the storylines are coasting on fumes and none of the adults actually work except for the jewelry crp. So what the heck, keep having more kids. I don't want to see the innocent kids go down with the ship, but I would love to see the smug look wiped off Kody's face when he loses the 4 McMansions and is in debt up to his ass. We'll see how exciting polygamy is then.

[LilWharveyGal]

Meri:  At one point, Janelle, Christine, and I were pregnant at the same time.

 

Robyn:  (shoulder punching Kody) Nice job, bud!

 

Me:  *vomit*

Edited July 21, 2014 by LilWharveyGal

[LotusFlower]

Logan is a treasure. He dang well better end up with a wonderful woman, or I will be pissed.

Woman? What if it's women, as in plural? He has said in the past that he's open to having more than one wife. Makes me like him less.

[mrsh]

Woman? What if it's women, as in plural? He has said in the past that he's open to having more than one wife. Makes me like him less.

The vibe I get from Logan is that he has no interest in polygamy, but is too respectful to jist come out and say it. That's why he leaves the door open just a bit, just my opinion on it.

[LuckyBitch]

It's on my DVR and I was deciding whether or not to watch it, but the comments here seem to advise against it!

[DanaMB]

Like others have said, it was boring and repetitive. I couldn't believe the stuff they covered that they'd covered so many times before.

 

I did like the bits on the kids, though. so maybe watch with your finger on the FF button?

[LotusFlower]

The vibe I get from Logan is that he has no interest in polygamy, but is too respectful to jist come out and say it. That's why he leaves the door open just a bit, just my opinion on it.

I can see why you get that vibe from Logan, as he seems so decent and respectful, but I think it's hard for us (non-polygamous) to understand what it's like to grow up in a polygamous family. Not only are both his parents all in, but he was raised with those beliefs. That's a pretty strong foundation. Plus, he's a guy, so it's a pretty attractive lifestyle to think about, esp. if you weren't raised to think it was wrong or even weird.

I hope I'm wrong, but I think the only way he'll NOT become polygamous is if he falls in love with someone who refuses and puts her foot down.

[Ladyhawke777]

Where was Queen Meri with her 1 not-too-attractive-kid when Logan was up making breakfast before school for all the little kids...that was in Lehi, didn't Meri live a few feet away in her own section of the house?

[mrsh]

I can see why you get that vibe from Logan, as he seems so decent and respectful, but I think it's hard for us (non-polygamous) to understand what it's like to grow up in a polygamous family. Not only are both his parents all in, but he was raised with those beliefs. That's a pretty strong foundation. Plus, he's a guy, so it's a pretty attractive lifestyle to think about, esp. if you weren't raised to think it was wrong or even weird.

I hope I'm wrong, but I think the only way he'll NOT become polygamous is if he falls in love with someone who refuses and puts her foot down.

That's a good point. The good thing about them moving to Vegas is that the kids are able to have friends raised in monogamous households. Hopefully Logan will meet a nice, strong woman who absolutely refuses to deal with the polygamy BS.

[WalrusGirl]

I was only interested to hear about Garrison and Paedon. Also, Breanna seems sweet. She said "Breanna Brown" I noticed. Does that mean Kody adopted her?

I also liked having some (appropriate, prepped/not showing a kid's meltdown or emotional trauma) focus on the younger kids too. Doubt Kody has legally adopted Robyn's kids, since their visitation with their father (after Christmas right after they moved into the new houses) indicates he's maintained his parental rights. (No idea whether Kody would even be able to do a second-parent adoption in Utah, since he isn't legally married to their mother? But maybe that part isn't the roadblock I'd expect - Brad Pitt adopted Angelina's then-two kids after she legally adopted them but without their ever getting married.) If the kids want to call Kody Dad/Daddy, I have no issue with that - they can have two dads, they still see their father, and honestly they'd probably feel like outsiders if they called him Kody since NONE of the other kids do. (As opposed to each of the kids being on a first-name basis with their other moms.) But I obviously hope they weren't told they had to. I can just see them choosing to do so at their age, since they spend most of their time with a dozen+ kids/siblings who also call him "Dad." They could easily end up switching from "Kody" (what they presumably called him during Robyn's courtship) to "Dad" just because they're surrounded by people calling him that. I knew an apartment-mate by her given name for a few months before our other roommates came back from a year abroad, and they already knew her and both used a nickname that I exclusively heard at home often enough to naturally switch within a few months (bonus: it knocked off a syllable).

On the upside, for the kids' sake I think it's great that their full legal names (probably not Brown) aren't nearly as public as the other kids' are.

Where was Queen Meri with her 1 not-too-attractive-kid when Logan was up making breakfast before school for all the little kids...that was in Lehi, didn't Meri live a few feet away in her own section of the house?

Um, what does Mariah's attractiveness have to do with anything? Regardless, but especially at that age. God forbid my worth be judged based on how I looked in the 9th grade. But yeah, shitty that Meri didn't pick up any of that, but I also think that a) she was also working, at least part-time, in Lehi, and b) she and Janelle have had a rough relationship for so long that it probably wouldn't have been welcome even if attempted. Especially Meri using Janelle's kitchen, since it's established that Janelle found it abusive to share a kitchen with Meri. I seriously don't think that Janelle, Kody, or Logan would have found that assistance to actually be beneficial. Parallel disengagement seemed to be their peaceful coexistence strategy by the time Logan was old enough to take that on.

I can't stand Kody's slicked back ponytail, but I admit that I also find it kind of sweet - it's Janelle who likes his hair that way, so I get the feeling he does it because she likes it, not because it's his favorite style. And I'm not exactly a fan of his, I just like Janelle. Whose attempt at holding a smile when he suggested she and Meri take a cruise together was hysterical. (Props to Meri for trying to cover the awkward for the cameras/public, but easier for her to do since it seems she was more actively hurtful to Janelle in the past than vice versa.)

Edited July 21, 2014 by WalrusGirl

[RealityCowgirl]

Some random thoughts this a.m.:

Breanna, dear: My cousin was born to a single mother and took (or was given. She was too young to 'decide.') her step-father's name as a young girl. The rest of us - and maybe my cousin - assumed she had been legally adopted. She graduates from high school, has her own out-of-wedlock child, and suddenly she (and her baby) is using the name of a father no one ever knew. Because THAT'S what's on her birth certificate. BTW, she had a giant mess to clean up after 20+ years of publicly using the wrong name.

Wishing it so doesn't make you a Brown.

I've long assumed one thing about Logan: if he does choose polygamy, he will take a very different approach than his parents did. He knows his dad's an ass, and he knows - as intimately as anyone - how it has impacted his mother and her children. Unlike his parents, he's not an idiot - which continues to give me hope he"ll rise above his upbringing and say no in the end. But if that's not the case, he won't muck it up as badly as his family did.

I've been on a "Free Aspyn" campaign since the episode during Truely's illness where both Aspyn and her mother acknowledged that she (Aspyn) had functionally been a surrogate mother to her siblings. Hearing her described last night as a "nanny," while her mother "worked," made me wretch. If you take such pride in choosing to be a stay at home mom, then STAY at home and BE a mom. Don't shove the responsibility off on this poor girl because you can't handle all those children you popped out. And what's this "work" nonsense? Filming this crapfest? Studying for a real estate license you never intended to use? Dreaming up crappy jewelry? Please.

Logan and Aspyn need to run, run far, and never look back. Listening to their mothers talk about their sacrifices after the fact - as if they were powerless to stop them (and their father accepting NO responsibility at all) - made me seriously want to hurt them.

My gut dropped to the floor when they started talking about cruises. They're going to try to squeeze another year out of this crap, aren't they? Well, guess what TLC: I won't be there. Watching the queen wilt through another pregnancy is NOT must-see TV. Watching these freaks take yet another undeserved vacation will be infuriating - and likely as boring as every other 'adventure' you've funded for them. If you do so, you will be doing it without me. I'm pulling the plug in my house, if you're too money-hungry to do so.

Edited July 21, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[technorebel]

And, wow did Janelle look uncomfortable when they suggested that they work on their relationship! Meri gets criticized a lot, but I give her props for at least trying to be lighthearted in moments like that.

Gosh, they really rehashed some of the same stuff for at least the third or fourth time now.

I was only interested to hear about Garrison and Paedon. Also, Breanna seems sweet. She said "Breanna Brown" I noticed. Does that mean Kody adopted her?

He couldn't have adopted Robyn's children since their real father is still in the picture.

There was an episode back before Kody and Robyn got married, when she was showing her kids photos and having them name all the Browns. When one of her daughters said "Kody" for his photo, Robyn said "What?", and the girl quickly said "Daddy". I thought it was a crappy thing to do.

Logan is a treasure. He dang well better end up with a wonderful woman, or I will be pissed. I'd love to see him with my granddaughter, but she's not church-y. (She's mormon, but not church-y)

Would you really be ok with that? I'd be afraid that he'd revert to polygamy as he gets older.

[Intuition]

 

I can't imagine them getting much more than one more season as the storylines are coasting on fumes and none of the adults actually work except for the jewelry crp. So what the heck, keep having more kids. I don't want to see the innocent kids go down with the ship, but I would love to see the smug look wiped off Kody's face when he loses the 4 McMansions and is in debt up to his ass. We'll see how exciting polygamy is then.

 

Actually, I'd watch that, but ironically the show itself has eliminated any interesting story lines.  It's made them boring, "fat" and happy.  I'd definitely watch them if they were to lose it all.  I agree with you, though, I wouldn't want to see the kids suffer for it.