S11.E13: Home Alone

[ECM1231]

10 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

While I agree Henry has obvious issues with communication that inhibits him from even necessary & polite confrontation, he was encouraged to bring some of his concerns to light with ChristinA & he did - or at least, he tried. Then he was met with ChristinA's juvenile manipulation tactics of deflection, whining, & invisible tears & couldn't get a word in edgewise. There was nothing he could've said at that point to reason with her during her tirade. For all we know he may have tried to broach smaller things in past & encountered the same problem, which if I did I would give up as well. That may explain his twitching during his call with Cal, maybe dreading the encounter knowing what he was in for with her. I give him props for at least trying - her defensive manipulations are the behavior of the guilty. ChristinA is not someone anyone could confront because she won't own any of her own shit; it's always going to be Henry's fault. She's so low to the ground she's taken to making up some gay story, & I do believe it's made up because she's been (at best) inconsistent with her 'stories' & condescending to Henry on the regular now, &  hasn't even produced the actual text as any 'proof'. That's just lowdown BS bitchery. I concur neither are marriage material, but don't feel their problems are on the same level- ChristinA is light years ahead of Henry in being an actual garbage person IMO.

👏 Spot on! Excellent post!

[Linarina]

Ok, unpopular voice of dissension here, and I have no idea, just throwing this out there...

Henry was very concerned that his bride have "nice shoes," which I found absolutely bizarre.  He's not a sneakerhead like Miles or flashy like Woody, which leaves...

Also, his overbearing, obnoxious family seems to be deep into local conservative politics, so I imagine he didn't grow up in a gay-friendly environment. 

Could stress from hiding his true sexuality cause tics?

And those bitchy female friends of his...

I'm just sayin.

[ECM1231]

5 hours ago, Kira53 said:

  I've hardly been out of the house on Long Island New York from the nine months so I was furious that Olivia went to see her parents anyway with her risk from her work and then she's gonna come back and risk Brett's health. Certainly she didn't care about Brett possibly bringing back some thing from her parents or any other people she might've interacted with.

 

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

[Adeejay]

2 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Henry is 35 and works in some aspect of health care.

I read that Henry and Karen used to be co-workers. New Orleans is really a small city. 

Given that they were quarantined for 44 days, I was disappointed that we only saw about 15 minutes of footage for each couple. “90 Day Fiancé” and “Couples Cam” were more interesting. Brett was probably counting down the hours. I have a feeling he didn’t stay a minute past his contractual obligation.

[Yeah No]

23 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

ChristinA resorted to the “he must be batting for the other team“ because Henry didn’t like her one iota. Shows her low character.

Yes, I also think she was trying to take the attention off of her ambiguous/confusing past and living arrangements.  The reason she got all sobby after Henry point-blank asked her to clarify where in fact she actually lived is because she was afraid of him (and the TV public, including perhaps her family) finding out the truth, which she knew he would probably not approve of if she came clean about it.  The fact that she couldn't give him a straight answer makes me think there's something she doesn't want to reveal about her past because of what he might think about her if she does.  Unfortunately not telling him is also going to make him think she's shady and therefore not trust her.  So this was the "pattern of dishonesty" that Henry was alluding to in that preview clip they kept showing all season.  He knows there's something not right about the whole thing and so why would he trust her enough to let his guard down with her?  I don't blame him.

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Exactly!!! As a suburbanite of NYC I can relate. It was really bad and really, really scary here early days. I don't know how badly NOLA was affected in the beginning, but I was INCENSED that Olivia left to go visit her family while the city was on lockdown.  My niece is a nurse in NYC and in those early days she literally went to work and returned to her apartment. There were no visits to her family on Long Island and with her friends. Brett was rightly concerned that it was a bad idea to travel. He had also lost a co-worker to COVID-19. Team Brett on this  one.

Yes, me too.  I do think Brett has shown some douchey ways on this show but he often has some very sound judgment, like not approving of Olivia's travel.  I wasn't able to visit my father in NYC for the last month of his life - he died of Covid about a month after I saw him last.  That means I didn't see him for the entire month of March.  They were already telling us not to travel and I wouldn't have wanted to risk giving or getting the virus especially when the numbers were so high and we were supposed to be on lockdown.  If I had not listened to that I might have caught the virus from my father (I think he caught it from one of his visiting nurses).  So I too share your perspective on this.  Also, given Olivia's profession I would expect more from her, frankly.  I think her behavior was irresponsible. 

I also wonder how much fear of getting the virus from Olivia was the major motivation for Brett moving out like that.  It doesn't look as much like a douche move when looked at from that perspective.  I actually don't blame him at all for that.  He didn't have to leave without telling her and take all the food, though.  That still qualified as douchey.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Yeah No

[JapMo]

45 minutes ago, Mollypup said:

I am no fan of Olivia.  But it did pull at my heartstrings when she asked Brett if there was a chance that things could turn around.  For a brief second, she had a pleading look on her face just before he told her no thanks. 

I'm sad that they are getting a divorce and she looked so dejected once he left the apartment.  Nobody else may believe it, but I really do think Brett was attracted to her and she to him.  However, after thinking about their main issues, I came to the realization that Brett was stuck because he really can't compromise on too many things.  Yes, you read that right.  I'm trying to be as fair as possible.  In order for them to have even tried to make it work, Olivia would have to be the one to make most of the changes in her behavior/lifestyle. 

Problem 1 - Children.  That's easy...there's no compromise on children.  He wants them and despite what she's said, she doesn't.  I'd stop right there because that's a dealbreaker, but indulge me.

Problem 2 - Living Arrangements.  Brett owns a home.  Not sure how much equity he has in it, but it would be silly of him to sell it just because Olivia gets the heebie-jeebies and red marks all over her neck whenever she sets foot in the place.  He could rent it out, but we don't know what condition it's in or what his payments are.  The going rate for rent might not cover or just barely cover his monthly mortgage.  So for the most part there's no real flexibility on living arrangements. 

Problem 3 - Salary/Lifestyle.  Finally there's the difference in salary, and it's a doozy.  From what was inferred, I'm going to take a wild guess and say Olivia makes $105,000-$115,000/year, while I believe Brett tops out between $55,000-$65000.  Olivia has made it crystal clear she wants to travel.......frequently.  And she wants all the trapping that entails...fancy hotels, expensive restaurants. She works hard, makes good money and deserves to pamper herself.  Nothing wrong with that, except a big part of why she wanted to get married was to travel with her spouse and see the world together.  Even if Brett wanted to, his budget could never match Olivia's expectations.  And she's not willing to share her money with him so he could be her traveling companion.

Unless Olivia is willing to make all the compromises (have children, live in his home, and supplement Brett's salary for travel time), I see no other solution for them than where they are headed right now...Splitsville.

 

[cinsays]

8 hours ago, Mollypup said:

It's hard to imagine why Henry and Christina do not call it quits like Brett and Olivia.  I think it is because Christina is homeless and jobless. No where to go, so why not drag things out.

she can just stay in their apartment and fake-cry

 

[sarkygal]

6 hours ago, Adeejay said:

 

Given that they were quarantined for 44 days, I was disappointed that we only saw about 15 minutes of footage for each couple. “90 Day Fiancé” and “Couples Cam” were more interesting. Brett was probably counting down the hours. I have a feeling he didn’t stay a minute past his contractual obligation.

I'm disappointed too. There was so much they could have shown - the couples discussing the lockdown with a relative stranger, job insecurities, financial stress. Hell, even discussions on whether they should quarantine together.

I haven't seen any mention of this but I find it appalling that the show delayed decision day by 6 weeks. I've been witness to escalating domestic abuse during lockdown and some real mental health struggles in friends & neighbors. I can't imagine throwing in failing stranger-marriage, reality TV contract penalties etc in the mix, and then shifting the end date. I'd have at least liked to see a conversation between the cast and experts/production about the additional days. For context, imagine your employer had you in a different location at the beginning of lockdown and didn't give you the option of returning home without severe financial penalty. And you had to share accomodations with coworkers. 

I don't buy that decision day couldn't have been filmed virtually. The same production company was churning out couples cam successfully. They just happened to be fortunate that there were no volatile pairings on this season.

I still maintain Brett's a douche for emptying the pantry, but absolutely right in leaving. 

[rlc]

10 hours ago, azprimadonna said:

in Brett's defense, It was mentioned that her town was put on on lockdown.  Only essential travel to and from work was authorized during that time.  In Olivia's defense, she didn't use the term visiting her parents, but rather "checking on her parents"  She is a nurse practitioner and perhaps they had health needs.  We weren't told.  

Exactly- I visited/checked in on my parents nearly every day during the pause. They are a short walk from my house, and the visit involved them stepping out their front door and me and my daughter waving at them and having a quick chat from approximately 15 feet away. 

[Hangin Out]

23 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Exactly!!! As a suburbanite of NYC I can relate. It was really bad and really, really scary here early days. I don't know how badly NOLA was affected in the beginning, but I was INCENSED that Olivia left to go visit her family while the city was on lockdown.  My niece is a nurse in NYC and in those early days she literally went to work and returned to her apartment. There were no visits to her family on Long Island and with her friends. Brett was rightly concerned that it was a bad idea to travel. He had also lost a co-worker to COVID-19. Team Brett on this  one.

Mistake

[Yeah No]

21 hours ago, JapMo said:

I know most people blame Christina and she does have a lot of hang-ups.  But her living arrangements at the time they got married should have been discussed.  When Henry realized early on that there was something not quite right about where/how she was living pre-wedding, he should have questioned her about it.  But he never did.  Like he failed to mention to her but never had a problem telling Amani that he thought Christina was rude to production.  Christina doesn't find this out until several weeks into the marriage.  Now after 10 weeks he tells Pastor Cal that she's been "dishonest".  The dishonest one is you, Henry.  Again, Christina has too many hang-ups to go in to in just one post, but IMO at least she's tried.  Henry has NEVER tried.  EVER.  He took one look at her and he was done.  

I have contempt for Henry because he's a liar.  His reasons for getting into this in the first place is because one or several "friends" talked him into it.  Can anybody on this board honestly see Henry ever even watching MAFS much less deciding that marrying a stranger was something he should do?  The man who by his own admission has a lot of problems even speaking to women and needs a LOT of time to get to know someone before even holding their hand much less be intimate?  Speaking of his friends, I have no respect whatsoever for Henry when he mentioned while talking to Christina last night that several of his friends had mentioned red flags about her job and her living arrangements.  I'm sure they also gave him an earful about Christina being rude right before the wedding. He's probably seen her frustrated and snippy to the crew throughout the filming, but  instead of giving Christina the benefit of the doubt that part of her behavior might have been pre-wedding jitters and fear of having a camera in her face all the time, he's used the rude angle against her from the get-go, making no attempt to ever address it with her and continuing to hold it against her from day one to the present.  

Again, IMO he's been extremely dishonest in this whole relationship, if you want to call it that.  Constantly making excuses that he needs more time and he's slow to warm up to intimacy.  Whatever.  He never gave Christina a chance.  Even though they still would have been incompatible, he didn't even try.  Again, she's no prize either, but you can't say she hasn't tried.

I do think Henry has some responsibility in this and I agree with you that he should have grilled Christina more about her living arrangements early on, not wait until how many weeks in and then accuse her of "dishonesty", BUT....(and this is a big but)....it was on her to be open about this without needing grilling.  I don't think he's necessarily a liar, but I agree with you that he didn't even try with her and he has been making it her fault for being "impatient" when it's his fault for needing abnormal amounts of patience.  His being snide doesn't surprise me at all, though.  I think he's been that way all through.

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

I’m with you.  I live on Long Island too.  My two girls are here and I haven’t seen them or the grandchildren in months.  We go to doctors, the store in n out and that’s it.  My son in law is a City Fireman and sleeps in the basement with the dog for fear of my daughter and kids will contract it.  He’s tested regularly.  No holidays with the kids this year.  We are staying home.  I’m petrified of the virus and not being able to breathe.  And here’s Christina roaming the streets until 3 am, and what’s her name, the nurse going to her Mothers.  Ridiculous!  When will this show call it a day?  It’s at a standstill.  The end, lol.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, rlc said:

12 hours ago, azprimadonna said:

in Brett's defense, It was mentioned that her town was put on on lockdown.  Only essential travel to and from work was authorized during that time.  In Olivia's defense, she didn't use the term visiting her parents, but rather "checking on her parents"  She is a nurse practitioner and perhaps they had health needs.  We weren't told.  

Exactly- I visited/checked in on my parents nearly every day during the pause. They are a short walk from my house, and the visit involved them stepping out their front door and me and my daughter waving at them and having a quick chat from approximately 15 feet away. 

I think the problem from Brett's point of view is how much he trusts Olivia to do the safe thing, which I don't think is much.  Speaking as someone who lost a close family member to Covid and has known others who have gotten it and survived with issues, I know that it tends to make you extremely worried about catching the virus yourself and you would have to REALLY TRUST your partner in order to feel safe enough to let them near you after going on a trip, any trip to do anything during a lockdown, especially one so early on before we were a little more confident in how to protect ourselves and others.  We didn't even have adequate access to masks and testing - Olivia may have known how to protect herself but what about others she may have had to encounter?  Her being exposed to Covid patients in her job may have also been working on Brett.  I know it would have made me go out of my mind, to be quite frank about it.  My husband drives a limo. for a living and I was out of my mind with worry that he would catch the virus from a passenger until we worked out a solution which involved him purchasing a stretch limo. that had a completely sealed passenger compartment, social distancing to the max and completely separate ac/heating system from front to back.  He hasn't had very much work but even the little work he's had would make me insane with worry if not for that.  From what I have read, didn't Brett know someone that got Covid already?  I can see how that would work on him.  So even if Olivia thinks she's being careful, he may not trust her enough to be careful.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Yeah No

[gonecrackers]

Once Brett & Olivia started getting to know each other's differences, which started very early on, they both developed an attitude. They supposedly filled out tons of information regarding who they are & what kind of match they wanted. How were they matched? They both have cats. I bet as they discovered more & more issues they couldn't resolve (or at least not easily) they were both, understandably, pretty pissed off at the show. I think Brett was especially pissed, & is why he wouldn't 'play their game', got bitchy on screen therefore alienating Olivia, & causing production/the 'experts' etc., even much of the audience, to hate him. It's a shame he & Olivia couldn't discuss what they felt had happened to them (bad match for good teevee), teamed up & played it through somehow, or just agreed to split amicably. They could've done this so much better, but I can also understand if they're resentful, however, they just should've used the anger against the show, instead of each other.

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

Yeah, I'm one of those people that lost a parent to this in NYC that I couldn't go near or visit as he lay in the hospital dying....I couldn't even speak to him because he didn't have enough strength to talk back.  I could only tell him we loved him and hear him gasp for air.  Anyway, I agree with you 10,000 percent.  My father died on a day when 700 other people died in NY.  700 died the day before that, and the day before that.....They told me he was in the morgue, not a refrigerated truck but I have no way of knowing if that was true.  I just picked up his ashes after over 6 months yesterday.  He is sitting in his favorite easy chair in my house in CT.  I think Olivia leaving during lockdown hits people that have been through what we've been through look different than it might to others.  

[Guest]

Pepper talking to Karen gave me Katie/Mama Katie flashbacks. "I know you make everything about yourself, but I'm begging you not to fuck this up because you need to know this is as good as it's ever going to get for you."

[JapMo]

2 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Once Brett & Olivia started getting to know each other's differences, which started very early on, they both developed an attitude. They supposedly filled out tons of information regarding who they are & what kind of match they wanted. How were they matched? They both have cats. I bet as they discovered more & more issues they couldn't resolve (or at least not easily) they were both, understandably, pretty pissed off at the show. I think Brett was especially pissed, & is why he wouldn't 'play their game', got bitchy on screen therefore alienating Olivia, & causing production/the 'experts' etc., even much of the audience, to hate him. It's a shame he & Olivia couldn't discuss what they felt had happened to them (bad match for good teevee), teamed up & played it through somehow, or just agreed to split amicably. They could've done this so much better, but I can also understand if they're resentful, however, they just should've used the anger against the show, instead of each other.

Even though being cat owners might be the only reason they were matched, I still think the experts put waaayyyy more thought into Brett & Olivia than anything they did with Christina & Henry.  I mean, I can't see any reason they matched those two.  Christina is very social but insecure and needy, so they pair her up with someone extremely shy who barely communicates and has problems initiating any kind of intimacy.  Way to go, experts.

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, I'm one of those people that lost a parent to this in NYC that I couldn't go near or visit as he lay in the hospital dying....I couldn't even speak to him because he didn't have enough strength to talk back.  I could only tell him we loved him and hear him gasp for air.  Anyway, I agree with you 10,000 percent.  My father died on a day when 700 other people died in NY.  700 died the day before that, and the day before that.....They told me he was in the morgue, not a refrigerated truck but I have no way of knowing if that was true.  I just picked up his ashes after over 6 months yesterday.  He is sitting in his favorite easy chair in my house in CT.  I think Olivia leaving during lockdown hits people that have been through what we've been through look different than it might to others.  

I am crying and are so sorry that he died that way.  It reminds me of when my Father died on oxygen, but I was there and holding him until the end.  Heartbreaking, but under the circumstances, you did the best you could and I believe he knows it.  Sad. ❤️

[Yeah No]

21 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

As I was getting ready this morning I was thinking about Karen, and I am glad Dr. P called her out on the whole masculine thing. It's ridiculous. She says she wants a "masculine" man, but she did not waste any opportunity to emasculate him: "stop that!", side eye at every thing she questioned him joking about. She treated him like a puppy or child! She should be overjoyed to be matched with a PERSON that can share his feelings. If she wants to see what the other side looks like, she can just go across the hall and talk to Olivia or Christina about what being married to someone unwilling/unable to communicate openly looks like. Exactly how long is Miles supposed to hang in there waiting for her to decide to trust him?

As an older woman of 62 I can't believe Karen would find anything about Miles not masculine enough for her.  I am often turned off by some of the more metrosexual younger guys out there so I'm actually a pretty tough room when it comes to that kind of thing and I STILL don't see what is bothering her about him.  He seems plenty masculine enough for me.  He seems like the perfect balance between strong and sensitive that is the holy grail for most women of any generation.  I'm sorry but she has issues - she is probably confusing masculinity with being a selfish prick/bastard.  Very sad.  She needs to snap out of that or one day she'll regret it!

[Retired at last]

7 hours ago, JapMo said:

Unless Olivia is willing to make all the compromises (have children, live in his home, and supplement Brett's salary for travel time), I see no other solution for them than where they are headed right now...Splitsville.

@JapMo, how is this any different from Brett having to make all the sacrificing - no kids, move from your home, and be willing to reallocate your spending money? The problem here was that there were too many major fundamental differences that NEITHER of them wanted to compromise on. 

[Yeah No]

Re: Wamani - Is it me or did the show kind of gloss over the argument they had over his DMs?  I wasn't able to figure out whether Amani actually read any of his DMs or just backed down on that when he protested, and if she did why?

Re: Benmelia - I still can't really believe that the issue with her potentially moving away was a real issue.  Bennett was acting almost like he hadn't even thought about it at all when he met with Pastor Cal in this episode, and I just don't buy that.  I think this was another non-issue that was beefed up to look like an issue.  They probably quickly worked this out together during one of their marathon late night talks on the honeymoon.  He probably told her it was no problem and that he would split his time between wherever she ended up and New Orleans, like any really smitten person who was very motivated to work things out with their new partner.

[Hangin Out]

Does anyone here think those three experts are useless?  I do.  And that Dr. Viviana, talking about sex to couples married only a few weeks is laughable.  I’m sure at their ages, they know the facts.  Besides it’s private between the couple.  Actually, I don’t think they are any help at all.  Just fillers.

[Rae Spellman]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

As an older woman of 62 I can't believe Karen would find anything about Miles not masculine enough for her.  I am often turned off by some of the more metrosexual younger guys out there so I'm actually a pretty tough room when it comes to that kind of thing and I STILL don't see what is bothering her about him.  He seems plenty masculine enough for me.  He seems like the perfect balance between strong and sensitive that is the holy grail for most women of any generation.  I'm sorry but she has issues - she is probably confusing masculinity with being a selfish prick/bastard.  Very sad.  She needs to snap out of that or one day she'll regret it!

Miles is young and acts young. It’s okay for Karen to want something different. She could “snap out of it” and find someone who is a better fit for her than her ex AND Miles. 

Miles might benefit from snapping out of it and investing his time with a woman who is attracted to him and values what he has to offer. If they say yes on decision day, he could be unhappy with Karen the next thirty or forty years. That might be worse than a failed experimental starter marriage. 

[humbleopinion]

Not defending Brett but his having to stay at the Julia Loft to care for the cats is not far fetched sinceBossier City is a 4hr45 minute drive from NO.

Olivia stated she talks to her mother everyday, even so she felt she needed to take a 9 hour round trip to check in on the fam despite the stay at home order.

Olivia heard but didn’t listen to Brett’s “no thanks” when she asked him point blank if there was a chance for the marriage to turn around.
They were sitting facing each other, inches apart..what part of no, thanks did she think there was room for a change of heart?
 Brett was giving all indications he was going to bail but she retreated into denial.

She said she knew he was going to move”some” of his stuff and got angrily teary eyed accusing him of taking food from the pantry.
Perhaps if her focus was on her husband saying....Brett, I didn’t want you to leave, I like and need your company during these scary times. Let’s finish the show together. 

That said, leaving the cupboard bare was a Major dick move since grocery shopping was a chore during the quarantine.

 

 

[Yeah No]

10 minutes ago, Rhiannon Hunter said:

Miles is young and acts young. It’s okay for Karen to want something different. She could “snap out of it” and find someone who is a better fit for her than her ex AND Miles. 

Miles might benefit from snapping out of it and investing his time with a woman who is attracted to him and values what he has to offer. If they say yes on decision day, he could be unhappy with Karen the next thirty or forty years. That might be worse than a failed experimental starter marriage. 

I'm with Dr. Pepper and others that she might not find someone that's a better fit for her.  The problem with Karen as I see it is that "a better fit for her" would have to be someone that's bad for her.  In the long run she might like that person better on a superficial level, but he wouldn't be good for her in the long run.  I personally think that if she snapped out of it she would see that Miles IS the better fit for her than the kind of guy she normally is attracted to.   I think that in many ways they are a good match and it's ONLY Karen's hang ups that are preventing her from appreciating that.  Miles may act young but I see nothing he won't grow out of in time.  His heart's in the right place and that counts for a LOT.

I'll agree with you that Miles staying with Karen if she wants that might not be the best thing for him if she is always wishy-washy about him and on the fence about how she feels about him on a visceral/emotional level.  He deserves better than that.

[spunky]

Christina is such a manipulator. She brings out the crocodile tears, when Henry called her out for lying about her living arrangements.  Then has the nerve to question his sexual orientation, because he hasn't touched her.  She lied about where she lived, is constantly rude, forgot his birthday and stayed out all night during a pandemic.  Yet she wonders why Henry does not like her.

Olivia of all people should take this pandemic seriously.  Her nonchalant attitude as a Nurse Practitioner was a little shocking.  Brett could have left some food in the pantry when he moved out. That was an extremely petty move on his part. I'm glad he called it quits.

I like Karen I really do. However I understand why Miles felt unwanted.  She's so guarded with her emotions and barely gives Miles what he needs from her. I think Karen's definition of masculinity was instilled in her from childhood. I have a coworker from New Orleans and he once said that most men in the deep south, 50 and older don't show their emotions because they were taught that men should be stoic at all times.  Her dad seems to be an older man so I'm guessing she was taught that as well.

Amani and Woody's fight about the DMs could have been easily avoided. I don't think her asking to see them should have been an issue unless he had something to hide. I'm glad they moved past their fight and are doing better.  As they are one of the strongest couples this season.  

I knew the whole moving for residency thing was just to drum up some drama.  Of course he's going to move with Amelia, he already said he was okay with her being the breadwinner. 

Edited October 9, 2020 by spunky

[Rae Spellman]

21 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Re: Wamani - Is it me or did the show kind of gloss over the argument they had over his DMs?  I wasn't able to figure out whether Amani actually read any of his DMs or just backed down on that when he protested, and if she did why?

The resolution of Amandy and the DMs was unclear. Woody said sharing his DMs with his wife was an invasion privacy. He also said that he didn't know what was in them. So while he hasn't been interacting with anyone since the wedding, his pre-marriage life  might have led to something he didn't want Amani to see. Amani said initially she was just joking. If she just let it go, it or something like it will come up again.

Karen might not find a better fit than Miles. Or, sometime after watching this show she should could reflect on a few things, grow, evolve, and find a good guy. There are more options for how things could unfold over the next fifty years of Karen's life than Miles or a terrible, horribly, no good, very bad guy. Also, Karen seems like a terrible fit for Miles. He deserves someone who is attracted to him. Someone who appreciates him. Someone who likes him. Even if I conceded that Karen should settle, and I don't, I wouldn't concede that Miles should.

 

 

 

 

[gonecrackers]

51 minutes ago, JapMo said:

Even though being cat owners might be the only reason they were matched, I still think the experts put waaayyyy more thought into Brett & Olivia than anything they did with Christina & Henry.  I mean, I can't see any reason they matched those two.  Christina is very social but insecure and needy, so they pair her up with someone extremely shy who barely communicates and has problems initiating any kind of intimacy.  Way to go, experts.

It’s difficult for me to choose the worse match, but clearly both couples were the sacrificial lambs of the season, matched for potential  drama alone.

[gonecrackers]

I felt so bad for Miles when Karen was talking about maybe this is what it’s like to deal with his depression. Poor guy can’t work, is home alone most of the time but is no slacker, spending much of his time doing things to make her life easier, yet she still acts like she barely tolerates him. Seems to me he’s holding up fairly well under these grim circumstances. She’s so cold. 

[spunky]

On 10/7/2020 at 10:08 PM, Koalagirl said:

Because in ChristinA’s world if a guy isn’t into her he has to be gay!

There was an angry post on Reddit last week claiming that Henry was gay because he doesn't like Christina.  We all assumed it was either Christina or an incel who made the post.

[Hangin Out]

50 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Not defending Brett but his having to stay at the Julia Loft to care for the cats is not far fetched sinceBossier City is a 4hr45 minute drive from NO.

Olivia stated she talks to her mother everyday, even so she felt she needed to take a 9 hour round trip to check in on the fam despite the stay at home order.

Olivia heard but didn’t listen to Brett’s “no thanks” when she asked him point blank if there was a chance for the marriage to turn around.
They were sitting facing each other, inches apart..what part of no, thanks did she think there was room for a change of heart?
 Brett was giving all indications he was going to bail but she retreated into denial.

She said she knew he was going to move”some” of his stuff and got angrily teary eyed accusing him of taking food from the pantry.
Perhaps if her focus was on her husband saying....Brett, I didn’t want you to leave, I like and need your company during these scary times. Let’s finish the show together. 

That said, leaving the cupboard bare was a Major dick move since grocery shopping was a chore during the quarantine.

 

 

He probably thought she’s all over the place anyhow, so she could go to the store too.  I don’t think he took the food on purpose to agitate her.

[Hangin Out]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I felt so bad for Miles when Karen was talking about maybe this is what it’s like to deal with his depression. Poor guy can’t work, is home alone most of the time but is no slacker, spending much of his time doing things to make her life easier, yet she still acts like she barely tolerates him. Seems to me he’s holding up fairly well under these grim circumstances. She’s so cold. 

He tried to snuggle next to her on the couch, but she didn’t budge and kept on her computernot looking his way.  He got up and went on another chair.  I would have packed my suitcase and left the apartment.  She’s one cold woman who thinks she’s better than anyone.

[Neurochick]

19 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

How do you know Henry hasn’t done anything? He went to college , works and likely has done many things they just were in this country. My own sister is 60 and never left the country because she couldn’t afford it. She still had friends, college, local travel, concerts, family weddings and all the other things that go with being human.

I was 28 before I left the country and still don’t know how to swim. Doesn’t mean someone is off. 

When he and ChristinA were on the honeymoon it seemed like he never did anything before.  He was like, "I never did this, I don't know how to swim, I've never been out of the country."  I'm not rich or well to do at all, and I did leave the country when I was 23.  It just seemed strange to me.   I still think he's off, YMMV.  But that doesn't give ChristinA the right to abuse him, and I do think she emotionally abused him, but YMMV there.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Neurochick

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Once Brett & Olivia started getting to know each other's differences, which started very early on, they both developed an attitude. They supposedly filled out tons of information regarding who they are & what kind of match they wanted. How were they matched? They both have cats. I bet as they discovered more & more issues they couldn't resolve (or at least not easily) they were both, understandably, pretty pissed off at the show. I think Brett was especially pissed, & is why he wouldn't 'play their game', got bitchy on screen therefore alienating Olivia, & causing production/the 'experts' etc., even much of the audience, to hate him. It's a shame he & Olivia couldn't discuss what they felt had happened to them (bad match for good teevee), teamed up & played it through somehow, or just agreed to split amicably. They could've done this so much better, but I can also understand if they're resentful, however, they just should've used the anger against the show, instead of each other.

I completely agree with you, but I do think they discussed it ad nauseam. He alluded to it in Olivia's incensed phone call when he said "Come on, you know we have fundamental differences", or something like that. And sadly, there is no way the show would allow them to insinuate that production or the experts are the problem. Brett could do a TH every single day saying the experts made a mistake - we have nothing in common but cats, and it would never see the light of day........

[Allison1]

11 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

It's not a rant.  It's the truth.  I don't know why so many don't want to hear the truth.  I'm not looking forward to telling my dad I won't be home for Thanksgiving.  But I won't be home for Thanksgiving. 

[Allison1]

4 hours ago, sarkygal said:

I'm disappointed too. There was so much they could have shown - the couples discussing the lockdown with a relative stranger, job insecurities, financial stress. Hell, even discussions on whether they should quarantine together.

I don't buy that decision day couldn't have been filmed virtually. The same production company was churning out couples cam successfully. They just happened to be fortunate that there were no volatile pairings on this season.

I still maintain Brett's a douche for emptying the pantry, but absolutely right in leaving. 

I also don't get why the experts felt they couldn't have been advising them during the lockdown.  Dr. Pepper said she was sorry they hadn't been able to but WHY weren't they able to?

[Neurochick]

12 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

I am also in NYC.  I don't remember food being scarce, though chicken was scarce for about 2 weeks.  It was hard to find toilet paper though and I do remember seeing the refrigerated trucks on the news.  NYC is a large city but inside NYC are a bunch of small-ish towns, meaning that what goes for one area might not go for another area.   

However if Brett had a co worker who had COVID, it could have seriously freaked him out, especially if that person was very ill.  I think Brett is a jerk and a douche but if he was that freaked out by the co worker's illness, I can see him getting upset with Olivia for driving to see her mother, especially early on in the pandemic when no one knew anything.   

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Does anyone here think those three experts are useless?  I do.  And that Dr. Viviana, talking about sex to couples married only a few weeks is laughable.  I’m sure at their ages, they know the facts.  Besides it’s private between the couple. 

I hate the sex talk, but in this case it was illuminating because it was revealed that Woody and Amani were having unprotected sex, and they giggled about it.  After Woody was scarred forever by a former girlfriend having an abortion without telling him. 

I put that in the category of "useful information."

 

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I felt so bad for Miles when Karen was talking about maybe this is what it’s like to deal with his depression. Poor guy can’t work, is home alone most of the time but is no slacker, spending much of his time doing things to make her life easier, yet she still acts like she barely tolerates him. Seems to me he’s holding up fairly well under these grim circumstances. She’s so cold. 

I think the quarantine may be making things worse for them because you know he's eager to talk and interact when she gets home, while she's been at work all day and might just want to chill for a bit. 

[Koalagirl]

25 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I am also in NYC.  I don't remember food being scarce, though chicken was scarce for about 2 weeks.  It was hard to find toilet paper though and I do remember seeing the refrigerated trucks on the news.  NYC is a large city but inside NYC are a bunch of small-ish towns, meaning that what goes for one area might not go for another area.   

However if Brett had a co worker who had COVID, it could have seriously freaked him out, especially if that person was very ill.  I think Brett is a jerk and a douche but if he was that freaked out by the co worker's illness, I can see him getting upset with Olivia for driving to see her mother, especially early on in the pandemic when no one knew anything.   

Bennett is the only person who could easily manage through a toilet paper shortage.  I, on the other hand, have stocked up nicely should New York go through a second wave. 

[gonecrackers]

51 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I completely agree with you, but I do think they discussed it ad nauseam. He alluded to it in Olivia's incensed phone call when he said "Come on, you know we have fundamental differences", or something like that. And sadly, there is no way the show would allow them to insinuate that production or the experts are the problem. Brett could do a TH every single day saying the experts made a mistake - we have nothing in common but cats, and it would never see the light of day........

That's what I mean, we don't know whether they ever even had that conversation privately. I was trying to say they should have & should have planned it all out together better. Maybe Brett was trying to talk to Olivia privately about it, but she was either hanging onto nothing or playing the show better. Maybe his douche move at the end was more for production, but he didn't take her feelings into account when he dipped out so rudely. We'll never know.

[gonecrackers]

23 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

No mention of toilet paper...maybe he doesn't need any..

Maybe he already used it all.

[pdlinda]

11 hours ago, JapMo said:

Olivia makes $105,000-$115,000/year, while I believe Brett tops out between $55,000-$65000.  Olivia has made it crystal clear she wants to travel.......frequently.  And she wants all the trapping that entails...fancy hotels, expensive restaurants.

From personal experience, I can tell you that Olivia's salary range, after normal deductions, is NOT in the category you describe whereby you can throw caution to the wind and go on these expensive trips (thousands$$,), constantly buy expensive meals ($$hundreds) and pay for basic expenses (rent, utilities, car, insurance, groceries, gifts, furnishings, clothes).  In other words, she may not be coming home with a NET check that matches her expenditures that might be more in line with her GROSS salary.

That said, I believe Olivia mentioned she is in debt (probably credit card and student loans) and my assumption is that she works very hard and has a mind set that allows her to "blow money" on things she enjoys possibly while not building wealth (savings and investments) and, possibly, sinking deeper into credit card debt (I believe student loan repayment is pegged to income).

I think Olivia's spending style is part of what Brett objected to with her.  I also think she is quite rigid in her views and beliefs. 

In other words, even, assuming that Olivia pays all her bills on time, she isn't thriving financially because her lifestyle may not be compatible with her net income.  

[Neurochick]

Maybe the issue with Brett and Olivia is just that Olivia wants to spend money on travel, have experiences, while Brett wants to spend money on a home.  Neither way is right or wrong.  

This is another way that the experts use marriage as therapy.  Olivia needs X, Brett needs Y, let's put them together!

[humbleopinion]

Bennett's Holiday running List...He's been nice...

Socks...dark colors...who are we kidding

Soapy Soles...get those toes clean

Hair Brush

TP, 3 ply...the ick factor is inconceivable with single or double ply

 

 

[lh25]

Brett lost me with his pride over the fact he owns his own home.  Yes, that's great.  But that doesn't make you morally better then someone who decides that renting makes more sense for them where they are in their lives.  He just got too snarky about it.

I do feel bad for them having to quarantine together in basically generic apartments that wasn't really home to either.  Except Amalia and Bennet.  Love that they made the place theirs.  It's esp. hard when one partner is working and the other isn't.  We only had 2 months of that, but hubby was home and got bored.  I was working from home, but still wanted a little down time at the end of my day, he was "you're off work, talk to me and let's do stuff".  

24 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

This is another way that the experts use marriage as therapy.  Olivia needs X, Brett needs Y, let's put them together!

I hate when they say that.  

[seacliffsal]

I think that Olivia may have bought into the "happy wife, happy life" nonsense that so many people seem to support.  I think she believed that once married, it should be everything she wanted-hence all of the "discussions" because she could not get Brett to act in accordance with her desires and perspectives.  I really liked the phrase "happy spouse, happy house" that Pastor Cal used in one of the episodes because it indicates a more equitable scenario.

[Doublemint]

13 hours ago, JapMo said:

I'm sad that they are getting a divorce and she looked so dejected once he left the apartment.  Nobody else may believe it, but I really do think Brett was attracted to her and she to him.  However, after thinking about their main issues, I came to the realization that Brett was stuck because he really can't compromise on too many things.  Yes, you read that right.  I'm trying to be as fair as possible.  In order for them to have even tried to make it work, Olivia would have to be the one to make most of the changes in her behavior/lifestyle. 

Problem 1 - Children.  That's easy...there's no compromise on children.  He wants them and despite what she's said, she doesn't.  I'd stop right there because that's a dealbreaker, but indulge me.

Problem 2 - Living Arrangements.  Brett owns a home.  Not sure how much equity he has in it, but it would be silly of him to sell it just because Olivia gets the heebie-jeebies and red marks all over her neck whenever she sets foot in the place.  He could rent it out, but we don't know what condition it's in or what his payments are.  The going rate for rent might not cover or just barely cover his monthly mortgage.  So for the most part there's no real flexibility on living arrangements. 

Problem 3 - Salary/Lifestyle.  Finally there's the difference in salary, and it's a doozy.  From what was inferred, I'm going to take a wild guess and say Olivia makes $105,000-$115,000/year, while I believe Brett tops out between $55,000-$65000.  Olivia has made it crystal clear she wants to travel.......frequently.  And she wants all the trapping that entails...fancy hotels, expensive restaurants. She works hard, makes good money and deserves to pamper herself.  Nothing wrong with that, except a big part of why she wanted to get married was to travel with her spouse and see the world together.  Even if Brett wanted to, his budget could never match Olivia's expectations.  And she's not willing to share her money with him so he could be her traveling companion.

Unless Olivia is willing to make all the compromises (have children, live in his home, and supplement Brett's salary for travel time), I see no other solution for them than where they are headed right now...Splitsville.

 

This is exactly it.   Blame the "experts"  they were poorly matched.  The only thing in common are the cats.

 

[JapMo]

34 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

I think that Olivia may have bought into the "happy wife, happy life" nonsense that so many people seem to support.  I think she believed that once married, it should be everything she wanted-hence all of the "discussions" because she could not get Brett to act in accordance with her desires and perspectives.  I really liked the phrase "happy spouse, happy house" that Pastor Cal used in one of the episodes because it indicates a more equitable scenario.

I don't think Olivia realized until she was already married how important it was to her to continue to live where she does.  She didn't even think about that.....she just assumed that her new spouse would automatically want to move in with her.  She also probably didn't put any conditions on the financial situation of said spouse.  Instead of lower income Brett, she could have just as easily been set up with someone who made a higher income but had children and had to provide for them, which even with a comparable salary as hers wouldn't be able to travel as much as she wants.  And of course major major major.....she talked herself into checking the box "Not Opposed" when the questionnaire asked about her interest in having children.    

Olivia did what I think a lot of MAFS candidates do....in order to be compatible with as many people as possible and thus increase her chances of being matched, she cast her "net" out as wide as she possibly could.  That means keeping her dealbreakers down to a minimum.  And she knew if she put down she didn't want children she would be narrowing her chances considerably.  She didn't lie exactly.....she kind of talked herself into agreeing to maybe have children someday.  Likewise she didn't put restrictions on where she wanted to live or what income level a spouse should have.  As far as the travel thing I'm sure she emphasized how she really liked to travel, but those type of questionnaires probably don't go into that category that much.  I mean, who doesn't want to travel?  Everybody checks "Yes" when it asks Do You Like to Travel?  They don't ask How Many Times a Year?  It was up to Olivia to convey to the experts exactly how important traveling is to her, and considering they matched her with Brett, if she did tell them they didn't listen.

[Neurochick]

I don't think it's right to blame everything on Olivia though.  Brett isn't exactly an angel.  Wasn't he the one who hit on a woman the night of his bachelor party?