S11.E08: You Can Get Out of This!

[ChiMama]

15 hours ago, Retired at last said:

ChristinA is interviewing Henry, not talking to or with him. He clearly doesn't (that we have seen) give her much to work with and doesn't seem to bounce off her questions to him to ask what her thoughts are, so I can understand her frustration.

Henry tried — she asked about childhood memories & he said he and his brother used to argue about stupid stuff. Her reaction — rather than building on that answer to keep the ball rolling was a sarcastic/dismissive “that’s what you’re giving me?” Then when he asked her a simple question — while they were cooking — about what were some of her favorite meals from childhood — she said she had nothing & “pass.” C’mon! She’s awful — ALL the couples clearly played producer-provided games at their  housewarming parties — she’s the ONLY one who was a pain about it.

[spunky]

On 9/2/2020 at 9:35 PM, Bees52 said:

After what Miles' friend (cousin?) said about him... can we clone and mass produce him? And make sure Karen appreciates that and keeps him.

Any woman cooking a gourmet meal at midnight for a man, is into said man. I call producer manipulation when it comes to Karen.

[Empress1]

4 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

Olivia might be outside that group that includes most. I've known a few women who seemed burdened by motherhood. 

You’re also never going to get a representative sample because it’s not socially acceptable to say you regret having kids. I’ve always believed that there are parents, even those who are outwardly good parents, who regret having kids. 

“I don’t want to” is an excellent reason not to have kids - having kids to placate others is a terrible idea. There’s nothing wrong with Olivia for not wanting kids (though society will tell her there is; I’m sure people have given her shit); there’s nothing wrong with Brett for wanting them. It just means they’re incompatible.

[Mrs. Button]

Quote

That's something Olivia is missing because most people will tell you the best years of their life was or is raising a family from babies too young adults. Taking the kids to see the USA, birthday party's all the holidays mean so much more with your own brood. The real reason most people are happy is because you don't have time to think of yourself most of the day. At the end of a long day you and hubby can find sometime to be a couple again. 

What works for "most people," does not for others. Women can be the architects of their own lives without being told what they should do to make *themselves* happy. Marriage and children are not for everyone. Personally, I have the husband, child, suburban home and all that goes with it and I have no regrets — but my friends without children have *amazing* lives as well. Often we validate our own life choices based on what we see others doing; those on different paths aren't a criticism of them.

Also, the best parties were Woody/Amani & Bennett/Amelia, who I'm sure got a fun project because the producers knew they wouldn't have to draw *their* guests out.

[gonecrackers]

8 hours ago, Racj82 said:

You can be entertaining and not be an asshole. I enjoy Woody and Miles. I enjoy the couples that aren't trainwrecks. I don't need DRAMA to be entertained. It's not a either/or for me. Henry is just...this is not his bag and that's okay. Why casting thought he would work is beyond me. But, hey, maybe they just thought the contrast in these two would be great tv. For me, it is not.

I agree, but this show has a history of 'matching' for drama. They obviously feel that's what's best for ratings, while throwing in the few good ones to keep the train rolling.

[Yeah No]

23 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I just do not understand the vitriol for Henry. Most of the people who sign up for this show shouldn't sign up. His issues are so much less than some of the other MF's who signed on for exposure & messed with someone's head, lying, cheating, gaslighting - we've seen some friggin' doozies! Henry seems like he's actually a decent guy stuck with a self-important-big-ass-rude-as-hell-horny-bully. ChristinA's defensive as hell because she feels she can do no wrong but in the meantime is being nasty to those around her just doing their jobs -& this says a lot about her in general as there's no excuse for that & it should turn anyone off. Brandon got absolute hell for that on the boards; somehow she gets a pass because Henry is quiet. Geez. If she's this bad during the episode I can't imagine what Henry is dealing with sans cameras. I was actually trying to give ChristinA the benefit of the doubt up to now, but after this last episode I just think she's a fucking bitch & would be sabotaging any marriage they put her into. No one will be good enough for Miss Perfect Queen Diva ChristineA. 👑 I really hope they both cut each other loose before decision day, or he just walks out on her. He'll be even more demonized but it'll be good for him & she needs to fall off her throne, hard.

Whew, that felt good. 😏

LOL, glad you got that off your chest! 😉

I agree with the assessment of Christina as a diva/bitch but for me I still don't see the "nice guy" in Henry.  Granted, his friends said some pretty nice things about him, but as far as a full time relationship goes, I still think he has issues that would make him a far less than ideal partner.  Just because he isn't the player/wacko/gaslighting liar that some of the others have been doesn't mean (to me at least) that he is just fine as-is.  I still feel that underneath it all he has some serious issues.  I don't think it's just a reaction to Christina - I think he is riddled with anxieties about relationships in general, and "stand alone" all by himself would be a challenge in a marriage, even without Christina around to make him clam up and shut down.  I don't think we're ever going to be able to know that because we won't ever see how he would interact with someone more compatible with him.  But I still think it's there.  JMO.  🙂 

[Empress1]

15 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I still don't see the "nice guy" in Henry.  Granted, his friends said some pretty nice things about him, but as far as a full time relationship goes, I still think he has issues that would make him a far less than ideal partner. 

Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive though, I don’t think. Henry does seem like a nice person (the fact that he was apparently such a big help to his friend who lost her sister speaks well of him, IMO) but he also has confidence issues, by his own admission, that would make him incompatible with me, for example. 

[gonecrackers]

8 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

LOL, glad you got that off your chest! 😉

I agree with the assessment of Christina as a diva/bitch but for me I still don't see the "nice guy" in Henry.  Granted, his friends said some pretty nice things about him, but as far as a full time relationship goes, I still think he has issues that would make him a far less than ideal partner.  Just because he isn't the player/wacko/gaslighting liar that some of the others have been doesn't mean (to me at least) that he is just fine as-is.  I still feel that underneath it all he has some serious issues.  I don't think it's just a reaction to Christina - I think he is riddled with anxieties about relationships in general, and "stand alone" all by himself would be a challenge in a marriage, even without Christina around to make him clam up and shut down.  I don't think we're ever going to be able to know that because we won't ever see how he would interact with someone more compatible with him.  But I still think it's there.  JMO.  🙂 

As said above Henry's friend thinks very highly of him, & he also seemed concerned about Olivia from Brett's behavior at the party which I found endearing. So he seems to have empathy & that's huge. The rest can be worked on, but with the right person. These two are no where near right for each other, or the show -except ChristinA for drama queen of the season. She could've gotten a Miles & totally blew it with her assholery.

[LuvMyShows]

 

8 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

As someone else mentioned, he did fine when talking to the guys. His experience as a recruiter could be contributing to the problem though. That is, he's decided that Christina is a poor candidate for the position of Henry's wife. She won't withdraw her application and insists that she deserves better benefits that what he is being offered. He considers that it might be worth it to offer better benefits to a better candidate. Their actions suggest that position may not be a good fit. On decision day, he'll inform her that the company has decided to go in a different direction. 

Hysterical!

8 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

About 43 minutes into this MAFS recap/review, Ms. Kev on Stage said they know someone who use to date Miles who felt he was too nice.

I like Miles, but I absolutely agree that he is too nice.  Someone who goes so overboard on putting someone else's needs ahead of their own would bring out the absolute worst in me.

16 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

Henry actually spoke back to Christiana and stated that he would never in 10,000 years sign up for this.  Yet, he did.  

I really, really wanted her to ask her why he did sign up, since it's something that we have all been wondering about!!

13 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I think she was giving Henry a taste of his own medicine when she didn’t come up with answers for his questions.  Damn sure she knew the answers, but she’s over it and him.  

17 hours ago, princelina said:

But then when he asked her what her favorite food her mother cooked for her, she had the gall to say she didn't know! 

3 hours ago, ChiMama said:

Henry tried — she asked about childhood memories & he said he and his brother used to argue about stupid stuff. Her reaction — rather than building on that answer to keep the ball rolling was a sarcastic/dismissive “that’s what you’re giving me?” Then when he asked her a simple question — while they were cooking — about what were some of her favorite meals from childhood — she said she had nothing & “pass.” 

IIRC, it was actually weirder than what people are describing.  Henry asked what the favorite food was that her mother cooked, and her first response was that there were so many that she couldn't choose.  She then spent some time thinking, and finally replied that she would have to pass on that question.  Henry said, "Then choose one" (I can't remember if he said that before her reply or after).  To me, it read like more of the weirdness from when they were discussing where she lives.  I don't think she was intentionally giving him some nothingness of an answer...I think her mother never made any home-cooked meals and she had no idea how to answer the question, and fumbled it.

17 hours ago, princelina said:

I was more on her side un til their conversation this evening: first, when she asked him to tell a funny story about his youth and he said he fought with his brother a lot.  Possible response:  "Really?  What was the worst fight you've ever had?"  Christina's response:  "That's really what you want me to know" (said with a sneer). 

Just awful of her.  Work with what he's giving you, and maybe he'll give more.  She could also have asked what it was about the fights that was funny.  I totally get her frustration with how Henry is, but is she is really trying to make it work, then she needs to do a much better job of trying to make it work.  And if she's over it, then she should work on how she is coming across, so that after the divorce, she is seen as a desirable catch.

[Ilovepie]

On 9/2/2020 at 7:43 PM, Jaclyn88 said:

I feel so torn with who’s worse with Christina and Henry because they are both such nightmares . It’s clear that Henry has a lot of social anxiety , but someone like Christina does not help ease someone’s anxiety . She’s so rude and goes from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds . She’s just a very nasty person . However , I’d truly love to watch paint dry more than be left alone in a room with Henry . He gives nothing and I don’t know if he’d be much different with anyone else . He doesn’t make any conversation , ask any questions , nada . They’re both just in need of a lobotomy. 

You just summed them up perfectly. She is not pleasant, to say the least, but I too would be frustrated beyond belief dealing with him. I thought it was very telling when she asked production why she is always responsible for taking care of everything (re:playing games) and not him? And I totally understand her disgust if they were asking grownups to play musical chairs. How stupid. I was shocked he somewhat stood up for himself, but if I was her I would have already been gone. Trying to make conversation with someone who puts forth no effort and always puts the onus on you to start the conversation is exhausting. I can only imagine it’s even more difficult with producers standing three feet away pressuring you to make it happen with a nearly mute person who won’t even look at you.

[Ilovepie]

Ok, just gonna say this: Five couples is too many. It’s so boring and redundant to have to watch what is essentially the same scene in identical locations five time in a row with revolving people. I felt that way last week watching them all walk in and react to the exact same apartments. The old seasons flowed more organically and had more variety despite having fewer people. 

Thoughts on the episode: Christina is an uptight demanding bitch but I would rather hang out with her than Henry any day.

While watching Miles laugh and talk with his friends while Karen was talking to his sister, I thought Miles is like a Labrador or German Shepherd. Karen is a fancy poodle. She was looking for a Doberman. I hope she can un-thaw and come to trust him. They could be happy if she could believe in him. He’s adorable. I don’t think she’s as much of a giver as thinks she is. Putting up with a cheating boyfriend doesn’t make you a giver. It’s just dumb.  But her hair is fantastic. I love it.

 I think it’s fascinating that both Amelia and Bennett signed up for this on a lark. I think, in the immortal word of Bruno Mars, they both thought “it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.” I don’t think either were thinking of taking this too seriously, but surprise! They might have actually been matched with their perfect person! So fun. I also think it’s hilarious they have taken this modern sleek apartment and turned it into a cluttered craptastic hippy dippy mess. I would never hang that “art” on my wall, but more power to them. And good for them for avoiding a sex question game!
 

Please God, let Amani and Woody be the ultimate MAFS success story I need right now. I love them. They are so sweet together. Oh, and I loved her jeweled neckline sweater she was wearing at the party. I want that!

Olivia and Brett: these people do not like each other. I am bored hearing about their budgets.

[gingerandcloves]

I had one more thought about Amelia and Bennett: how adorkable was it that they both mentioned that the fort building was their favorite thing they did on their honeymoon? That shows true compatibility. I guess Amelia wasn't lying when she said that love is when you could live in a cardboard box with a person and just be happy being with them.

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, Mrs. Button said:

What works for "most people," does not for others. Women can be the architects of their own lives without being told what they should do to make *themselves* happy. Marriage and children are not for everyone. Personally, I have the husband, child, suburban home and all that goes with it and I have no regrets — but my friends without children have *amazing* lives as well. Often we validate our own life choices based on what we see others doing; those on different paths aren't a criticism of them.

Also, the best parties were Woody/Amani & Bennett/Amelia, who I'm sure got a fun project because the producers knew they wouldn't have to draw *their* guests out.

Thank you for saying that.  Some people's best times in life has NOTHING to do with marriage and/or children.

I'd hate to be paired with someone like Henry, but at my age, I'd appreciate someone like him.  When I was younger, I'd be just like Christina, because I too looked to Hollywood to see how relationships were supposed to look.  That's why I can't hate on Christina.  If someone really believes in the crap Hollywood sells, they'll be massively disappointed no matter who they'd be paired with.

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Most people are on Henry's side so I see no reason to defend. My issue with Henry is that he does not make for interesting, entertaining or watchable tv. Whether or not you should sign up to show to me is whatever. Of course, most of these people should not have signed up for the show. Henry shouldn't even be on tv. Anyone that clams up this much on camera is just waste of space from a filming standpoint. It's no judgement on him as a person. He's seems lovely. He does not make good tv. Being so boring that the 4th wall has to keep getting broken just to make a segment filmable just isn't good tv.

You're right, and that's one reason they don't tend to cast people like Henry - because they need people that will fill up dead air with conversation just for the sake of filming, and who will do it whether or not they're "in the mood" or feel positively disposed toward the person, etc.

That said, I do think one of the reasons we keep seeing the 4th wall broken is to show Christina's frustration that she often gets no response from him even though she is trying to "play the game" by interacting with him while the cameras are rolling as production wants her to do.  Which is why she went on about doing all the work herself, and the editing is showing the cringe-worthy "dead air".  "Doing the work" in this case is also about cooperating with production on initiating and responding to each other while being filmed and probably also allowing themselves to be coached as to what to talk about by production.

Of course, being a diva and generally a bitch she ends up looking bad for complaining about this, but truthfully he does have some responsibility in this or it DOES beg the question as to why he allowed himself to be signed up for this.  Didn't he realize that it's a TV show?  I would think being friends with a reality show star he might have learned something about that from her.  But I think he was thrown into this by the show precisely to make a spectacle of his anxiety about being filmed.  And that to me is reprehensible.

Also, when he complains about Christina being impatient, I do tend to read that as a "get off my back" type of statement.  I'm sure he thinks she's rude, but I translate that into him trying to LOOK like he will open up "in time" if she'd just let him, when in fact he has absolutely NO intentions of doing that and is just saying that to get her (and production) off his back about not "playing the game".  If he says something to the effect of "I will, just give me time", he thinks he's fulfilled his obligation by making people think he's just shy and will open up in time.  Yeah, right.

Just my opinion.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

As said above Henry's friend thinks very highly of him, & he also seemed concerned about Olivia from Brett's behavior at the party which I found endearing. So he seems to have empathy & that's huge. The rest can be worked on, but with the right person. These two are no where near right for each other, or the show -except ChristinA for drama queen of the season. She could've gotten a Miles & totally blew it with her assholery.

I've had very empathic friends that have been unable to find a long term partner despite constant trying because of serious issues that impact their ability to be in that specific kind of relationship.  They are wonderfully understanding and caring with friends but have difficulty with long term partners.  I think the "right person" for Henry would be a therapist at this point.  He needs to work on himself before he is ready for any long term relationship, that is what I believe anyway.  I don't think it's just about Christina being a bitch even though she is.  I think they put the two of them together for nefarious reasons.  They knew she was like that and they knew she would make him a neurotic mess.  But again I still think he would need some therapy first before being ready for anyone.  She is making that obvious by bringing his problems to the forefront.  I think most guys would react negatively to Christina but most guys wouldn't react like Henry, a neurotic mess, in response to her either.  I feel sorry for him, it doesn't make him a bad guy to be that way, but I also don't think it makes him right for just about anyone right now.  Just my opinion.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, spunky said:

Any woman cooking a gourmet meal at midnight for a man, is into said man. I call producer manipulation when it comes to Karen.

I couldn't agree with you more.  Her body language has been saying for at least two episodes now that she is continuing to warm up to him.  She is reserved about her feelings and taking it very slowly but I think her ice is gradually melting.  And I have to respect her for that, IMO.  Miles continues to grow on me too - I initially had the "too good to be true" feeling about him so I was "shields up/red alert" with him.  So I get where she's coming from.  I think the show is trying to paint her as being damaged goods that can't let a man in even if he's great, and sure, she may have some remnants of that, but I don't see much evidence of her going all the way as to making him pay for her past hurts, at least not yet.  Plus her body language says otherwise.

[cardigirl]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I still don't see the "nice guy" in Henry.  Granted, his friends said some pretty nice things about him, but as far as a full time relationship goes, I still think he has issues that would make him a far less than ideal partner.  

If his "friends" are Trishelle and the other one, that doesn't say much for him.  I'm sorry, but those women are about as real as 3 dollar bills. Those friendships speak to what he thinks he likes in a woman, so I can see why "they" thought matching him with Christina might be someone he'd like, or at least recognize, 

I agree, I think Henry's just trying to wait it out, and being a bit passive/aggressive, not because he's nice, but because he's just trying not to look bad.

 

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Marriage is hard for most people anyway because its a huge switch from being a committee of one to a committee of two. Often junior members come on board. That's something Olivia is missing because most people will tell you the best years of their life was or is raising a family from babies too young adults. Taking the kids to see the USA, birthday party's all the holidays mean so much more with your own brood. The real reason most people are happy is because you don't have time to think of yourself most of the day. At the end of a long day you and hubby can find sometime to be a couple again. 

Sorry bit of a soap box there.

I'm married but never had kids and don't feel like the holidays or any other days would have "meant so much more" if I had had kids.  Different things make different people happy.  People can throw themselves into other worthy pursuits that take the focus off of them and onto others, it doesn't have to be your blood children.  None of these pursuits are something having kids necessarily makes better.  The things I was able to do with my life without kids aren't somehow less meaningful or wonderful.  A person's life can be filled with other things that are just as meaningful to THEM and no less meaningful just by virtue of not involving kids.  I know a couple that breeds show dogs - they are big into animal rescue too, and have dedicated their lives to helping dogs.  I was able to use my "extra" time to help friends and be there for them when they needed me, which I probably would have less time or energy to do if I'd had kids.  So it's all relative, IMO, and the reason I don't judge anyone who chooses not to be married or have kids.  Olivia might be missing something in life for other reasons.  Not wanting marriage or kids is not necessarily the reason.

[Mercolleen]

10 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

His experience as a recruiter could be contributing to the problem though. That is, he's decided that Christina is a poor candidate for the position of Henry's wife. She won't withdraw her application and insists that she deserves better benefits that what he is being offered. He considers that it might be worth it to offer better benefits to a better candidate. Their actions suggest that position may not be a good fit. On decision day, he'll inform her that the company has decided to go in a different direction. 

Love it!

[humbleopinion]

Karen's love language is rattling the pots and pans to the tune of blackened red fish and side dishes at midnight..

99% of us coming home at midnight hungry would be eating a bowl of cereal.....

Miles is so happy telling the story if he had a puppy dog tail it would be wagging him....

We saw the first shot fired at Fort Rodriguez...

Henry mustered up and asked a question to the Mrs. and she chose to give him a dose of his own medicine and rebuffed his favorite home cooked dish inquiry...zing! pow!

If this turns into a silent thousand yard staring, verbal sniping and slamming door relationship...then bring it on!

Edited September 4, 2020 by humbleopinion

[LennieBriscoe]

Armani and Woody have gazed upon each other with love, with lust, with humor, with caring.

One of that list I have yet to see between Amelia and Bennett or between Karen and Miles.

Fuhgeddabout the others! Ain't nothin' in their eyes! Well, nothing good, anyway.

 

[humbleopinion]

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/mafs-olivia-admits-brett-is-intimidated-by-her-earning-more-money-than-him-and-responds-to-his-criticism-about-her-budgeting.html/

File this under "No shit, Sherlock"

[configdotsys]

16 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Now I want to know which doodads on QVC capture Olivia’s fancy....

Spinning mop bucket?

Squatty Potty?
Scrub Daddies?
 

I got the feeling Brett used the QVC line as a put down to Olivia's spending, not she necessarily sits on the couch and shops there. She could have bought one item 10 years ago, but I don't see Brett as the type to say, "Where did you get that?"

Brett's thinking is a lot like mine: if I can buy a nice comforter at Target for $24.99 but my spouse came home with a comforter from a home store or fancy place that he paid $99. for, I'd think we could have had four comforters for that price. I would enjoy it less knowing how expensive I thought it was. If Brett is thinking that Olivia's typical spending is this way, imagine how much she has "wasted" in his mind.

Then again, if Olivia earns whatever she earns and likes nice things, there's no reason she should be put down for it. Whatever she does to her budget is on her. If she hooks up with someone not of like mind, then they are not a match. It doesn't make her a defective person. I do think Brett is a little too hung up on evaluating every penny spent but then that's him. I don't see either side as being negotiable and see nothing wrong with that, they're just not a match. 

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Ok, just gonna say this: Five couples is too many. It’s so boring and redundant to have to watch what is essentially the same scene in identical locations five time in a row with revolving people. I felt that way last week watching them all walk in and react to the exact same apartments. The old seasons flowed more organically and had more variety despite having fewer people. 

OMG this is so true. I have begun to just FF past most of these conversations because they bore me to death.

As for Miles, he definitely seems like the type to put his own needs last in order to please others. Maybe some would be happy with that because they'd get anything they wanted from him, but I would never be compatible with someone like that.

I'm starting to kind of tire of the Bennett and Amelia show. People who are that far out quirky, both just happened to apply for this show on a lark had me raising an eyebrow from day one.

I agree that Christina showed her true colors before the wedding when she was a snippy bitch, but I think she totally feels ripped off by the show having hooked her up with Henry so the anger is intensified. He's like a jellyfish and I could relate to her saying, "You have to help me out here. I shouldn't have to do everything." It's almost like she wants to do a Cher "Snap out of it!" slap.

Edited September 4, 2020 by configdotsys

[Stella Rose]

I am in love with and need Karen's off the shoulder sweater.  She looked so lovely in it, it flattered her beautifully, and her natural, gorgeous hair made it all the more perfect.  

I really think that Amelia and Bennett have had more intimacy than we have seen, will see, or they will admit to.  They both seem like they choose to keep certain aspects of their very public relationship private.  I could not adore them more!  Every time I see Bennett, I am more impressed with him.  He is so very gracious and tactful in interviews, with the guys, on the couples couch, etc.  I have never heard him say a negative thing.  He deftly and gracefully dances right around even the most pointy of JOtis' questions.  He is a delight.

I think with a PROPER match, Henry would have been a catch.  Christina came out of the gate as a big pill - even at the wedding.  I think he was immediately turned off and at the same time a little afraid of her.  I can see her being very vicious.

My butt has splinters over Bret/Olivia.  The fence flipping is getting mighty uncomfortable.   I vacillate between liking them both and disliking them both  -  sometimes at the same time!   Strange.  I give these two about a 20% chance - then again, I had just about no hope for Jamie/Elizabeth and AJ/Steph, so stranger things have happened.

Any idea how long before we see COVID rear it's ugly mug?  Could you imagine being quarantined with ChristinA?   Oi.

 

 

[humbleopinion]

9 minutes ago, Stella Rose said:

My butt has splinters over Bret/Olivia.  The fence flipping is getting mighty uncomfortable.   I vacillate between liking them both and disliking them both  -  sometimes at the same time!  

When you finally rest your buttocks on Brett's Bench, rest assured it is sanded down smooth and silky...

[KateHearts]

On 9/3/2020 at 2:58 PM, topanga said:

Then Henry should’ve continued to date on his own—or hire a professional matchmaker. I know she isn’t perfect, but I’m Team Christina all the way. Henry shouldn’t have applied to be on thIs show if he wasn’t willing (or able) to open himself up to a stranger in a short period of time to at least try to make things work. I felt the same way about Jepthe, Deonna, and the basketball player (Matt?). And when the first two did start to open up some—with a lot of help from the experts—their marriages began to blossom. 

Maybe Henry isn’t attracted to Christina, which if fine—it’s how he feels. Then he should A) be honest with her and leave, like the personal trainer from last season, or he could B) try. Like Jamie Otis did. But no, he just sits there like a bump on a log, refusing to make eye contact or engage in normal conversation with her. I feel the same way about Karen. Make an effort or leave poor Miles alone. 

Many quiet introverts need time to feel out the other person, and Henry admitted that he has some eye contact issues. If that person (e.g., Christina) starts the wedding out the way she did (bitching at the producers before she even walked down the aisle), is so indifferent to the conversation with the new spouse that earrings are much more important, literally looks down their nose at you, asks with condescension, "you haven't left the COUNTRY?", and looks equally disdainful at your home and makes stink faces during every conversation, then the quiet person may very well shut down. And she is the one who got super snippy trying on dresses with her mother and friends. So I think she is a "type" that is not a good fit at all for Henry. For people who say, "why is he on the show? He isn't even trying" I will say that he might have gone on the show to really take a chance and hopefully find someone who is a good fit for him. There are lots of women who would like a low-key, thoughtful guy like him. I don't give Christina a pass to be nasty just because he is slow to warm and quiet. The right match could have been magical.

As for Brett and Olivia, I see both sides because they mirror me and my husband. He's a saver; I like to spend. I am grateful that we have saved well over the years and it is pretty fun to watch your net worth grow, pay off your mortgage, and be able to take nice vacations (which Brett can't see yet. But someday he will have a big enough nest egg that he will realize that he doesn't have to save every penny). I rolled my eyes at the party scene when Olivia was in the bedroom talking to- mother? aunt? friend? - and said "he's loud and outgoing" and the camera cut to him sitting in the living room laughing: "HAHAHAHAHAHA" with his mouth wide open.  Although I think most couples could overcome the budget differences, I don't think there is enough attraction there for them to want to get past it. They will probably part come decision day.

[ECM1231]

On 9/3/2020 at 10:18 AM, JapMo said:

I don't think Brett is actually a cheapskate.

I don't either. A cheapskate would be eating hamburger rather than that delicious steak he cooked. 

[Scout Finch]

What I heard Olivia say was that the zoo is cheap, not free. 

Edited September 4, 2020 by Scout Finch

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I initially had the "too good to be true" feeling about him so I was "shields up/red alert" with him.  So I get where she's coming from. 

That's very sad that people feel they have to be that way.  No wonder dating is tough today, everybody's all shields up/red alert! DANGER, DANGER, DANGER."  Were people always that way?

Edited September 4, 2020 by Neurochick

[humbleopinion]

Brett was making a point by making the nice steak dinner...that meals at home are tasty and economical.

Olivia isn't going to dispute that Brett made her a great dinner but she wants to eat out and while the food is important, she likes the rituals.

Getting dressing up, being seated in a nice dining room, the waitstaff, the wine selection, the artistry of the chef, the whole  package.

If I lived in NOLA, the first year would be all the hole in the walls fish and seafood shacks....

Second year, would be gumbos and etouffees.

Third year, fancy schmancy restaurants.

[LennieBriscoe]

Exactly! ^^^^^^^

Olivia doesn't want a future of staying home as Little Old Cat Lady with Little Old Cat Man!

[qtpye]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

LOL, glad you got that off your chest! 😉

I agree with the assessment of Christina as a diva/bitch but for me I still don't see the "nice guy" in Henry.  Granted, his friends said some pretty nice things about him, but as far as a full time relationship goes, I still think he has issues that would make him a far less than ideal partner.  Just because he isn't the player/wacko/gaslighting liar that some of the others have been doesn't mean (to me at least) that he is just fine as-is.  I still feel that underneath it all he has some serious issues.  I don't think it's just a reaction to Christina - I think he is riddled with anxieties about relationships in general, and "stand alone" all by himself would be a challenge in a marriage, even without Christina around to make him clam up and shut down.  I don't think we're ever going to be able to know that because we won't ever see how he would interact with someone more compatible with him.  But I still think it's there.  JMO.  🙂 

 

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive though, I don’t think. Henry does seem like a nice person (the fact that he was apparently such a big help to his friend who lost her sister speaks well of him, IMO) but he also has confidence issues, by his own admission, that would make him incompatible with me, for example. 

 

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I've had very empathic friends that have been unable to find a long term partner despite constant trying because of serious issues that impact their ability to be in that specific kind of relationship.  They are wonderfully understanding and caring with friends but have difficulty with long term partners.  I think the "right person" for Henry would be a therapist at this point.  He needs to work on himself before he is ready for any long term relationship, that is what I believe anyway.  I don't think it's just about Christina being a bitch even though she is.  I think they put the two of them together for nefarious reasons.  They knew she was like that and they knew she would make him a neurotic mess.  But again I still think he would need some therapy first before being ready for anyone.  She is making that obvious by bringing his problems to the forefront.  I think most guys would react negatively to Christina but most guys wouldn't react like Henry, a neurotic mess, in response to her either.  I feel sorry for him, it doesn't make him a bad guy to be that way, but I also don't think it makes him right for just about anyone right now.  Just my opinion.

People have been asking why Henry signed up for this. I think he might be in love with the petite brunette that was at his party. I think he even interviewed with her one time during the matching process. He might have signed up for this because she has friend zoned him pretty hard and he might be trying to get over her.

If she is his "type" then he probably did not like Christina from the get go. I think Henry and Christina are the type of people that gets less attractive once you get to know them. She can be an annoying diva and he is a total bore.

I also agree that there are people out there that make amazing friends but end up being horrible spouses and or girlfriends/boyfriends. There is a whole different dynamic and some people were just not meant to be with a significant other. Again, people can have awesome lives as single people, particularly in this day and age.

[humbleopinion]

My harebrain theory:

ChristiNA was cast because of her deep emotional scars from never getting flowers except from GrandPa🙄, pattern of picking wrong men and apparently her prominent double chins....

Who to pair her? Production started rifling through the head shots and bios......producers muttering...pickings are slim.....

Henry was matched because he was taller and had a pulse.

They were the 5th and final couple chosen out of desperation....much to our delight....

[Alexander Pope]

On 9/2/2020 at 9:05 PM, Yeah No said:

Thank you, I was going to say almost exactly this.  I too am all the way over on the MBTI introvert scale and Henry is losing me too.  He is way too painful - I don't like Christina one bit but she had a point about feeling like everything was all on her.  He's a poor soul that should never have gone on this show if he couldn't at least put a few words together while the cameras are rolling - whether or not he likes the woman he was matched with.  That is the very least he should be doing to fulfill his responsibility to this marriage.  Since the season began he's left Christina hanging with dead air so many times that I don't really blame her for her reaction - I actually think she was being somewhat restrained and in her own way thinks she's being kind (which is obviously not coming off as kind nor is it working).  I wouldn't want to be matched with a guy like that - He is too much work, needs therapy or something to help him with his anxiety.  It's really not fair to match him with anyone except someone who needs a wounded bird to nurse back to health. 

And while I don't like Christina I don't blame her for not being that person he needs.  She didn't sign on to be someone's nurse or therapist.  I also think she HAS been patient with him in her own way.  And I always liked shy guys and never had a problem being the one to help a shy guy come out of his shell.  He is trying to make it look like it's her fault that he can't deal with the situation at all.  What exactly has he contributed to this marriage so far?  At least she is making an attempt to fill up the dead air from his lack of communication, although she finally got so frustrated at his lack of interaction that she threw her hands up.  He wants everything to come to him without seeing that he has a 50% responsibility to nurture this relationship himself.  But I think the problem is that he is incapable of that and expects a woman to put up with that until "one day" when he might actually start to feel comfortable with her.  Who would want to wait several months just to find out if he ever will start to open up to them?  I don't have any faith that that will ever happen, at least not with Christina.  It looked like an attempt to deflect responsibility to me. 

I also don't think it's just that he doesn't like her (although it's obvious that he doesn't).  I think he has major issues with relationships that make it difficult for him to enter into the kind of give and take necessary for a marriage to succeed.  Of course he's not going to like someone that expects him to put a little effort into the relationship.  If there are women out there that don't expect this or would miraculously make him feel more comfortable about doing so, maybe he should have been matched with one of THEM and not Christina.  That said I don't like it that she is digging her heels in about needing a man to take the lead with sexual advances.  Who does she think she is, some prim, proper Victorian woman that must have traditional roles?  This is the 21st century.  I don't think she should have to be the aggressor all the time but why insist that he has to be?  I think she is somewhat responsible for sabotaging any hope that might have existed between them.  She's digging her heels in about it because she is pissed off that he isn't what she needs him to be.

Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest!

I agree with you and there have been times when I have sympathized with Christina.  However, he did try to ask her a question, one I would have loved to answer, about her favorite childhood food her mom cooked for her, and she dismissed it as too shallow and refused to answer.  Talking about food can tell you so much about someone.  I was much more sympathetic to him after that.

[Elizzikra]

On 9/3/2020 at 12:54 PM, gonecrackers said:

Did someone here say Olivia told Brett the zoo was "free"?  If she did that's not true of any zoo we've ever visited (& it's been several). They have to feed & care for the animals with something.

I like Woody/Amani so far but it seems almost too smooth, so hopefully there isn't some big ass ball waiting to drop there.

On Unfiltered, which is mostly just so boring, Karen is very pretty but way overdressed.  And granted I don't understand or give a damn about fashion but I just can't with Woody & that pink suit, sorry but holy crap!  Then Bennett says he "doesn't have that kind of energy" - to put into fashion - but he somehow does have enough energy to dress like a half rate clown. Maybe he saves energy by his lack of attention to hygiene. Nice guy but whenever he & Amelia are on I can practically smell them through the TV, especially Bennett & those feet. 🤢

Those adolescent party games, just, OMG. 🙄

I can't speak to the zoo in N.O. but the DC zoo is part of the Smithsonian and is free to visit. 

[Alexander Pope]

On 9/3/2020 at 7:18 AM, JapMo said:

I don't think Brett is actually a cheapskate.  I enjoyed their quiet time before dinner entering her financial information into his spreadsheet.  I expected him to wince over every item, but he didn't judge except for her $40/month alarm bill...he seemed pretty surprised at that.  But here's the problem.......she wants to travel and travel a lot, and wants to do it first class.  Nothing wrong with that, but Brett had 4 siblings and his family went camping or something like that once a year, so he's good with continuing in that vein.   Olivia, to her credit, did try to compromise in last night's show, but I think they are just too far apart and even concessions here and there aren't really going to change that.  

On top of that, let's not forget she really doesn't want children, and he does.  That in itself is a marriage killer, and the fact they are so polar opposite on finances is the icing on a very bitter cake.  

add to that that she spent most of her convo with her friend at their party complaining about their differences! not wanting to live in his place, being bored hanging out with the cats, etc.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

but he didn't judge except for her $40/month alarm bill.

I laughed at his suggestion that a dog would be cheaper. He clearly hasn't met my dogs...

[spunky]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I couldn't agree with you more.  Her body language has been saying for at least two episodes now that she is continuing to warm up to him.  She is reserved about her feelings and taking it very slowly but I think her ice is gradually melting.  And I have to respect her for that, IMO.  Miles continues to grow on me too - I initially had the "too good to be true" feeling about him so I was "shields up/red alert" with him.  So I get where she's coming from.  I think the show is trying to paint her as being damaged goods that can't let a man in even if he's great, and sure, she may have some remnants of that, but I don't see much evidence of her going all the way as to making him pay for her past hurts, at least not yet.  Plus her body language says otherwise.

She's definitely slowly warming up to him. She's not the ice princess that the show is trying to portray her as.

[Rae Spellman]

 

12 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

IIRC, it was actually weirder than what people are describing.  Henry asked what the favorite food was that her mother cooked, and her first response was that there were so many that she couldn't choose.  She then spent some time thinking, and finally replied that she would have to pass on that question.  Henry said, "Then choose one" (I can't remember if he said that before her reply or after).  To me, it read like more of the weirdness from when they were discussing where she lives.  I don't think she was intentionally giving him some nothingness of an answer...I think her mother never made any home-cooked meals and she had no idea how to answer the question, and fumbled it.

If this is true, I feel really bad for her. Nothing my mother cooked was my favorite. Even, so I'd be able to tell at least three stories about things she prepared for family potlucks or packed in my lunch.

10 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I'd hate to be paired with someone like Henry, but at my age, I'd appreciate someone like him.  When I was younger, I'd be just like Christina, because I too looked to Hollywood to see how relationships were supposed to look.  That's why I can't hate on Christina.  If someone really believes in the crap Hollywood sells, they'll be massively disappointed no matter who they'd be paired with.

Good point. I'm a decade older than Henry and can appreciate a guy like that at this age. He's attractive enough, is open to new experiences but wouldn't want me to do anything too crazy with him, and is willing to splurge on $70 Mexican food. Also, I'm pretty good at getting introverts to talk to me. 

9 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I'm starting to kind of tire of the Bennett and Amelia show. People who are that far out quirky, both just happened to apply for this show on a lark had me raising an eyebrow from day one.

While the two of them together are a bit much for me, I appreciate seeing Bennett interact with the guys and am interested in Amelia and Karen's fledgling friendship. 

8 hours ago, Scout Finch said:

What I heard Olivia say was that the zoo is cheap, not free. 

That is what she said. Even when I thought she said it was free, I figured she just meant that there are occasional free days and that's when they would go. 

[Linarina]

On 9/3/2020 at 7:55 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe if Olivia showed Brett the lifetime expense of raising a child......

I was going to say this!  They could be such a good match if they readjusted their preconceived (no pun intended) visions of their futures a little.  Without the expense of children, they can vacation AND pay their house off.  Ask me how I know! 😁

Edited September 5, 2020 by Linarina

[LennieBriscoe]

I have just had what for me is an epiphany, so please forgive me if this post is actually a "Captain Obvious" one!

The producers are geniuses! They understand that the real lure of this show (and perhaps their ilk) is in how we the viewers relate to the couples, individually and together.

Are we introverts? Do we have a favorite dish our mothers made? Did we have or not have children? Are we savers like Brett or spenders like Olivia? These questions and more from the show have elicited various personal responses here from us.

[LennieBriscoe]

9 minutes ago, Linarina said:

I was going to say this!  They could be such a good match if they readjusted their preconceived (no pun intended) visions of their futures a little.  Without the expense of children, they can vacation AND pay their house off.  Ask me how I know! 😁

Same way I know! 😉 

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

The producers are geniuses! They understand that the real lure of this show (and perhaps their ilk) is in how we the viewers relate to the couples, individually and together.

Evil geniuses...

[Empress1]

5 hours ago, Linarina said:

I was going to say this!  They could be such a good match if they readjusted their preconceived (no pun intended) visions of their futures a little.  Without the expense of children, they can vacation AND pay their house off.  Ask me how I know! 😁

I once went on a date with an actuary who didn’t want kids, primarily because he just didn’t want them, but he’d also literally done the math (because: actuary) and figured out how much he’d saved by being child-free, and done his budget and long-term savings and investment goals accordingly. He was like “I can retire at 55!”

 

[cinsays]

7 hours ago, Linarina said:

I was going to say this!  They could be such a good match if they readjusted their preconceived (no pun intended) visions of their futures a little.  Without the expense of children, they can vacation AND pay their house off.  Ask me how I know! 😁

But they don't like each other and i don't think that is going to change. Why should Brett give up the desire for children?

[humbleopinion]

14 minutes ago, cinsays said:

But they don't like each other and i don't think that is going to change. Why should Brett give up the desire for children?

There is zero marriage potential here.

No one wants to change nor should they.

They have friendzoned each other.

Let's hope the cats don't bond too closely...separation will be hard.

Brett will have flared nostriled children...with some other nice lady.

[Kiss my mutt]

I feel like Olivia was a bit of a bait and switch for me. I thought she was a cat lady homebody who was devoted to routine and order, a few calls at night and ten minutes on her exercise bike. Now she’s acting like she has this cosmopolitan lifestyle like she’s got places to go, people to see and people to be seen by so I was a bit surprised to say the least. Her personality is so drab, it’s hard to see her in that light. She’s a bit of a saltine cracker to me 

[humbleopinion]

In the same vein, Brett is Mr. HomeBody versus Mr. HardBody...

Mr. Spreadsheet Versus Mr. In Between the Sheets

Mr. PennyPincher versus Mr. BottomPincher

The jokes write themselves....

[JapMo]

22 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I'm starting to kind of tire of the Bennett and Amelia show. People who are that far out quirky, both just happened to apply for this show on a lark had me raising an eyebrow from day one.

I so So SO agree with you on this.  IMO there's more history pre-MAFS between them than the show wants us to know.  Also, I like Bennett, but I get the vibe that he's been protected by his family his whole life and very likely they could still be supporting him financially.  Families do that all the time, I know....but it's usually with the hope they will fly out of the nest eventually.  I don't think his family believes he will ever be able to fly on his own.  Bennett's happy in his own skin and I don't see him ever changing, so as long as Amelia is always thrilled with that, they should be OK.  But they could also just as easily turn into Sally Field and Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire. 

 

23 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I agree that Christina showed her true colors before the wedding when she was a snippy bitch, but I think she totally feels ripped off by the show having hooked her up with Henry so the anger is intensified. He's like a jellyfish and I could relate to her saying, "You have to help me out here. I shouldn't have to do everything." It's almost like she wants to do a Cher "Snap out of it!" slap.

 I'd be surprised if Henry saw that many occasions when Christina was being bitchy, or otherwise the show would have jumped all over it.  So from what I see, he's never given her a chance.  The only way Henry would have been happy is if his saw Kristin at the altar.  That's who he crushes on big time.  

[Linarina]

4 hours ago, cinsays said:

But they don't like each other and i don't think that is going to change. Why should Brett give up the desire for children?

 

Well, sure, of course if he really, truly wants kids, no one should try to dissuade him.  But so many people say they want kids just as a default position, when they haven't really considered the alternative.  Given his money anxiety and desire for a low-stress life, he might be brought over to the dark side, muahaha.